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Uuuuugh T.T Why am I posting this...

(guh)

OK. So basically...what the title says x.x I've got a boyfriend. He's...

- smart
- sweet
- kind
- sensitive
- cute/hot x3 like really really hot x.o
- and a blondie @_@

Yes. Anyway, how the hell do I tell him that I want to do, erm, bondage. With him. We have noooot actually have had sex yet, just the regular groping (I'm 17 =.= ) and such...and neither of us really are the...uh, types, seeming to be into that.

I mean just look at my picture xD I'm kind of a meek, artsy, geek-girl. All of my friends call me 'sweet' and 'shy' and 'adorable' but, uh, into being physically restrained O.o I don't think they'd understand that. All I know is that it really, really turns me on. And I'd like to do it sometime D:

Problem I have is more than just telling him (I usually can tell him anything, but I am terrified he'll think i'm creepy and run away =P ), but the fact he might not be into it -.- He does have...his things though. Like expressing an interest in me wearing cat ears/dressing up like a cat D:

--

Second problem I have here is a more...logistics thing. I've read about people getting injured by that kind of stuff...how do I avoid it? I'm really not into the abuse/hardcore stuff, actually being hurt bothers me. But kind of non-violently being taken would be awesome o.o

Just...any...entry-level ideas? somethinggg? D:






You'll have a higher chance of him doing what you want if you do what he wants.

If it's mutual, he'll be more open to it.

To me, BDSM isn't that creepy at all, even though I'm not into it. But, meh, it's just me.
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff
Immaculate Fantasy
You'll have a higher chance of him doing what you want if you do what he wants.

If it's mutual, he'll be more open to it.

To me, BDSM isn't that creepy at all, even though I'm not into it. But, meh, it's just me.


Actually, that's not really the problem (: I've done the cat-thing before. I like to turn him on x3

Sometimes he asks me what /my/ fantasy is and...eeh...it just seems far enough away from a little innocent role playing to be scare him. Just cause of...connotations. He's very much a pacifist kind of person, and I just can't see his mind not automatically going to the 'she's being restrained, as in she doesn't want it' thing.

He used to even always ask if he could touch me, in particular ways. Its just...eeeh. Anyone see what I'm saying? :C
Tintofevil's avatar

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You can start it off easy. Heck, you can roleplay & pretend you are his pet & he is the master & you are trying to friskily bound away from him, thus making him catch you, & lead it from there. See how you two like that.

With bondage & not wanting to get hurt, you have to be very careful & trust your partner a lot. So that it does not hurt too much, but neither are so cautious that it ruins the experience.
b r i g h t e y e s --ll
Immaculate Fantasy
You'll have a higher chance of him doing what you want if you do what he wants.

If it's mutual, he'll be more open to it.

To me, BDSM isn't that creepy at all, even though I'm not into it. But, meh, it's just me.


Actually, that's not really the problem (: I've done the cat-thing before. I like to turn him on x3

Sometimes he asks me what /my/ fantasy is and...eeh...it just seems far enough away from a little innocent role playing to be scare him. Just cause of...connotations. He's very much a pacifist kind of person, and I just can't see his mind not automatically going to the 'she's being restrained, as in she doesn't want it' thing.

He used to even always ask if he could touch me, in particular ways. Its just...eeeh. Anyone see what I'm saying? :C


You two seem very close.

Suggest something small, and move from that. See if you actually like it or not. Find out what your limits are before doing it all the way.

It doesn't seem, based on what you've told me, that he'll be that bothered by it. He seems pretty open.
Fallacy Angel's avatar

Dangerous Lunatic

Bittersweet.............................


The absolute most appropriate course of action is this:
-Find a sexual health website or go to a sexual health clinic and talk to someone
-When you two are alone in bed, or in private, where-ever you like to get your frisky on, you should talk to him, tell him you think it would be the sexiest thing in the world if he held you down. Tell him exactly what you'd like to try.

If he loves you, he's not gonna go all "OMG YOU WANT WHAT??!! *runs away*" The worst thing that could happen is that he says he doesn't feel comfortable with it. Then you just move on. I think you're being way too cautious though.

Sex is something fun and is a great way to get to know your partner better. If you want sex that is not only physically stimulating, but emotionally stimulating as well, he should be as up for it as you are for him.


Like fruit that is so amazing only because it's rotten...
Boarderman
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff


Yeah, fuzzy handcuffs are nice, but they start to hurt after a while.
You could also try some silk ties.

Once you guys are sexually active-as in intercourse, you'll probably just start experimenting more naturally.

I can relate as I am into bondage as well, and everyone thinks my parter is the sweetest guy in the world rofl
Thanks everyone for the help ^^

I will try to talk to him...but my other question; how do I make sure I don't get hurt? ): I've heard that it you can get rope burns, and dislocate body parts or get stuck in it sometimes! Ack Dx

Another problem I haven't mentioned is that I'm pretty small and very light. He's a deal bigger than me. I'm around 5'3 and a half and he's about 6'1 or 6'2. And I weigh only about 102, 103 lbs =/ He already worries about hurting me.
Rainbow Holocaust
Boarderman
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff


Yeah, fuzzy handcuffs are nice, but they start to hurt after a while.
You could also try some silk ties.

Once you guys are sexually active-as in intercourse, you'll probably just start experimenting more naturally.

I can relate as I am into bondage as well, and everyone thinks my parter is the sweetest guy in the world rofl




That helps a loooot (: Thanks.

Silk ties.. @_@ oooooh

(cough)

Anyways : D I guess it might be all in how you think of it...my um...libido (?) is pretty high because I don't see him so often (college is demanding)...so I get myself worked into knots over being able to do stuff with him =P
b r i g h t e y e s --ll
Rainbow Holocaust
Boarderman
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff


Yeah, fuzzy handcuffs are nice, but they start to hurt after a while.
You could also try some silk ties.

Once you guys are sexually active-as in intercourse, you'll probably just start experimenting more naturally.

I can relate as I am into bondage as well, and everyone thinks my parter is the sweetest guy in the world rofl




That helps a loooot (: Thanks.

Silk ties.. @_@ oooooh

(cough)

Anyways : D I guess it might be all in how you think of it...my um...libido (?) is pretty high because I don't see him so often (college is demanding)...so I get myself worked into knots over being able to do stuff with him =P


I do know exactly what that's like, only I'm still in highschool and he's going to college while we both have jobs.
Yay.

Having a high libido can really suck if you don't get much sexual contact :/ If anything, masturbation is your friend =o
b r i g h t e y e s --ll
Rainbow Holocaust
Boarderman
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff


Yeah, fuzzy handcuffs are nice, but they start to hurt after a while.
You could also try some silk ties.

Once you guys are sexually active-as in intercourse, you'll probably just start experimenting more naturally.

I can relate as I am into bondage as well, and everyone thinks my parter is the sweetest guy in the world rofl




That helps a loooot (: Thanks.

Silk ties.. @_@ oooooh

(cough)

Anyways : D I guess it might be all in how you think of it...my um...libido (?) is pretty high because I don't see him so often (college is demanding)...so I get myself worked into knots over being able to do stuff with him =P


I'll add some other personal experience, rope of any kinda avoid it, and for your own sake make sure no one will disturb you, it is quite a adrenaline rush trying to untie ropes binding someone as their parents come down the stairs
Teacup Rabbit's avatar

Dapper Dabbler

Boarderman
Get pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, it's the best starting point, and if he's ok with cat ears bettcha ten bucks he's ok with a little kink in his cuff
Agreed.
If you want to introduce the idea to him. Go all, "You know what would be really hot, Babe?" Pin his a** to the bed, tie up those wrists and make-out/fool around with him. Finish with a, "I wish you would do that to me sometime." or a, "I want my turn now."
oO Momma T Oo's avatar

Aged Explorer

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Holy crap you're underweight! eek I'm sure you've heard that before, and it's another topic entirely. Moving on.....

My suggestion would be to say, "So, what do you think about bondage?" This would give you the opportunity to explain what you mean without springing "Hey let's try bondage!!!!" on him.

As for not getting hurt: basic common sense is key, and communication is beyond essential. If you don't like something, speak up. That should prevent lots of injuries right there. If mild pain is involved, you might want to agree on a "safe word" with your boyfriend so he knows you really are in pain and want him to stop.

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no not at all
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
Well-secluded, I see all






You should talk to him about it and say you'd like to experiment, and then if he's into trying out a little soft core bondage, you guys could always go and buy a starter bondage kit, such as this.


With a bit of a mind flip
You're there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation

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