how do i even deal with this (closed)

[InvisiblePot]

im dumb

[legnanellaf5]

If she is older at 16, how ******** old are you? Why the ******** are you trying to scold your sister? Stop being a whiny teenager and accept that when someone has a mental illness, like ocd, you cant just get over it. It isnt a fun mental illness, it isnt just wanting something in a certain way, it is something that takes over your whole life.She may be childish throwing tantrums about it, but it doesnt change that fact that its something that is far beyond just her being annoying.

You have to start understanding her instead of trying to look down on her for this. Maybe educate yourself on what ocd is.

[legnanellaf5]

InvisiblePot

legnanellaf5

she's my twin >.> but she takes that one minute difference and blows it proportions, so... yeah. she literally thinks that it makes herself more superior, and has even said it herself on more than one occasion without joking.

"she doesn't think she needs help. she knows the extremity of her actions, but there's nothing to reflect it," "we've tolerated her, and have went with the particularities of what she considers as "countermeasures."

quoting myself here because im not sure if you're trolling or if your reading comprehension is really so poor. and it's exactly her holier than thou attitude that makes her intolerable, did you just skim?

Neither. Look, tolerating her isnt understanding, and you really seem to not want to get where her issues come from and sit around going wah she is mean. That isnt how you deal with someone with a mental illness. She knows that she has a mental illness, but you seem to not 'get' it, hence me telling you to educate yourself. Understand what she goes through, what her MIND goes through and how it isnt as easy as like, not doing it.

Also she is your sibling, why woudlnt she butt heads with you and think she is better?

[Gallifrey Crystal Gem]

Have you tried taking her to a therapist? Maybe even do a group setting, almost like an intervention. Try explaining that you all want to help her. Does she have any medication?

[legnanellaf5]

InvisiblePot

legnanellaf5

i've spent my whole life living with her so i'm sure i know her more than you. if you're wondering why i'm so quick to dismiss her it's because i know exactly what's on her mind. It's not at all a bias presumption when i say she's completely transparent. she iterates nearly everything she thinks and frequently rants to herself of inner turmoil and everything, none of which include anything that i can give her the benefit of the doubt for. that "turmoil," is not the kind that includes any guilt, but is one that's of the self absorbed quality.

im aware that not everything that's said will make the full reality, but there's literally nothing that's not known. her insults are a veneer of her insecurities, and because she's unaware of it it fuels her feeling of superiority. she's the one in need of an understanding of herself, yet there is an unconscious refusal to, hence the stalemate.

btw your last statement is lost on me in purpose and meaning. if anything, doesnt that apply universally?

No, you dont know whats on her mind. You as someone who DOESNT have ocd cant just say you know someone who DOES that well, especially since you seem to not want to even try to be understanding. The words you choose show it well, you dont get it and you dont want to get it. Do you eve know what OCD is? Because if you have any idea you would at least understand that 'obsession' part is far more complex than what she acts on.

Idk how that is lost on you, but Il make it easy. Normal sibling s**t is normal sibling s**t. You pointed it out to may some sort of big point but really, you are just her bratty twin that she 'tolerates' just as you are 'tolerating' her illness. Its pretty much a given.

[vdszbz]

That is nuts.

I would sit down with your parents and your younger brother and you two can explain to them everything and how she needs help. If that doesn't work, try the school counselor. Perhaps it's not entirely your sister's fault, it's mostly her mental illness talking.

[XVNekioVX]

The only mental illness my brother ever had was depression.
But omg... his father never wanted him and never paid child support. His father was never involved in his life and my brother didn't even want the guy in his life either. Our mom is a dead beat too. Our grandparents raised us. Everything I did was wrong. I was too fat, too stupid, and too anti social or too social depending on the situation. I was a born quitter according to them. My brother could and did whatever he wanted. He graduated high school they bought him a brand new car. He went to college and they paid him monthly so he wouldn't have to work as much to pay his bills. My grandmother did his laundry weekly so he wouldn't have to use the Laundromat. She paid his gas to go visit her and she paid his car insurance. He was the golden boy not a thing he could do that was wrong. He joined karate they bought him all the supplies and he quit not even 2 weeks later, but that was okay because it was him. He was on Mock Trial and Key Club in high school and it was okay because it was him. I tried to join Cross Country and everyone in my family ridiculed me about it. After a small disagreement with the coach I quit almost as soon as I had started. I joined the Chess Team for another high school because my current school didn't have one. I went to that high school later, but my family kept on me 'oh if you would still be going to school with your brother you could ride to school together in his new car'. That May, there was a car accident. I was in the car too, but that's besides the point. He died and I lived. I can't put into words the number of times it was brought up to me about if my brother were still alive. I can't put down how many times I've been basically blamed for the accident, but it was an accident. I graduated high school in 2006 with a GED. I defeated the odds because doctors told me I wouldn't walk, graduate high school or do anything with my life. I proved them wrong. Do you know what I got for graduating high school? A ******** $400 laptop. My brother was barely passing his college courses. He was barely passing. I got Dean's List. Do you know what my family told me about that great achievement? Nothing was said to me at all. When I confronted my mom about it she told me she expected it of me. It really got to me. I was on my death bed only 3 years prior and I had earned a Dean's List award in college. I couldn't attend the award's ceremony which also got to me a lot. I screamed at my grandmother over the phone if it would kill her to say I did better than my brother. When I went to college (community), I had to have my grandmother drive me and berate me constantly for trying to better myself. I did drop out and I now live almost 2,000 miles away from my family.
So in short, all siblings are like that regardless of mental issue or not.

[Tsubahi]

legnanellaf5

InvisiblePot

legnanellaf5

i've spent my whole life living with her so i'm sure i know her more than you. if you're wondering why i'm so quick to dismiss her it's because i know exactly what's on her mind. It's not at all a bias presumption when i say she's completely transparent. she iterates nearly everything she thinks and frequently rants to herself of inner turmoil and everything, none of which include anything that i can give her the benefit of the doubt for. that "turmoil," is not the kind that includes any guilt, but is one that's of the self absorbed quality.

im aware that not everything that's said will make the full reality, but there's literally nothing that's not known. her insults are a veneer of her insecurities, and because she's unaware of it it fuels her feeling of superiority. she's the one in need of an understanding of herself, yet there is an unconscious refusal to, hence the stalemate.

btw your last statement is lost on me in purpose and meaning. if anything, doesnt that apply universally?

No, you dont know whats on her mind. You as someone who DOESNT have ocd cant just say you know someone who DOES that well, especially since you seem to not want to even try to be understanding. The words you choose show it well, you dont get it and you dont want to get it. Do you eve know what OCD is? Because if you have any idea you would at least understand that 'obsession' part is far more complex than what she acts on.

Idk how that is lost on you, but Il make it easy. Normal sibling s**t is normal sibling s**t. You pointed it out to may some sort of big point but really, you are just her bratty twin that she 'tolerates' just as you are 'tolerating' her illness. Its pretty much a given.

You have a twin sister with OCD, too? eek

If not, then you're probably damn lucky. neutral

[Faux Aria]

Girl your sister is gonna struggle because when she starts dating ain't no guy gonna sit back and be treated like you and your family are by her.

[Desi the fuzzy fluffhead]

You know, that sucks, but she kind of has a mental illness which may be more severe than your own. There are more varying levels.

But, I would try talking to my parents and telling them how it affects you and that you think she needs to go to therapy.
She's not going to take advice from you. You're her sibling. She's not going to listen to you, even if she was more logical about your age difference

So, either your parents can do something or you can just start focusing on yourself and how you're to deal with yourself.
Basically, how to ignore her.