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weeneez
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weeneez

All I'm going to say is that we shouldn't always say its okay, and shouldn't always say its wrong either. I know there's different circumstances for everyone, but I know the 11-year old involved in this was innocent and didn't know what was going on at the time.
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Agreed fully. And what happened to her is inexcusable as it is in any case of rape/molestation. Like I said in my first post, it wasn't regarding her or anyone in specific because I didn't know her situation. And I do hope she's okay.



...that has taught their mind to misbehave User Image

Well its been about 2 years now since it happened, I'm sure she'd had some time to cope with what happened to her. I just hope it doesn't scar her too badly.
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As do I. I know the feeling as I was raped when I was 18. I know the fear and uncertianity caused by it but I'm sure that her family is taking great care of her and has helped her through all her trials.

But as I said in my first post on this thread, you shouldn't struggle with your morals because you can't bring yourself to hate this man for what he did. You only have the image of him being the nice guy that you knew in high school and so its hard to see him otherwise because you didn't know him otherwise. Its easy for people to form feelings of hatred and disgust for a person that they didn't have bonds with because there isn't that under lying feeling of "but he was such a nice guy...what happened?". Strong bonds are very hard to shake, even in the face of cruel acts or what your mind tells you is wrong. It is fine to care for a person but not for what they've done. You can easily say, yes, he was a friend but that doesn't mean you condone what he's done.

Watch a courtroom video sometime of a person being charged with a heinous crime. Often times, despite admitting guilt, the offender's family still cries for them. Not because they've forgiven what he's done or because they think it was alright. They are crying for the person they knew outside the act. Their son, father, brother, etc. A crime does not erase a past full of good memories.



...that has taught their mind to misbehave User Image
weeneez's avatar

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Could use some advice on the updated version of this sweatdrop
Let this s**t lie.
weeneez's avatar

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[Castration Pop]
Let this s**t lie.

I thought about that. but I feel bad somewhat for not even trying to even say something to C after all this happened, and I kind of want to put that feeling to rest. But I don't know how.
weeneez
[Castration Pop]
Let this s**t lie.

I thought about that. but I feel bad somewhat for not even trying to even say something to C after all this happened, and I kind of want to put that feeling to rest. But I don't know how.

I remember a teacher who was an a*****e to me gettin locked up for a similar charge and my wanting to give him the business.

Ultimately your idea is nice. And it might mean a lot to him. If you wanna do it... Go for it.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

[Castration Pop]
weeneez
[Castration Pop]
Let this s**t lie.

I thought about that. but I feel bad somewhat for not even trying to even say something to C after all this happened, and I kind of want to put that feeling to rest. But I don't know how.

I remember a teacher who was an a*****e to me gettin locked up for a similar charge and my wanting to give him the business.

Ultimately your idea is nice. And it might mean a lot to him. If you wanna do it... Go for it.

A teacher of yours ended up being a ***** too? Its a shame confused
I want to, then again I don't. Its an awkward topic within itself, so I don't know how to bring it up to A without it being so awkward.
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If you think it'll help you come to terms with this, then by all means, go for it. But it's not something I would personally do.

You could just ask A, "Hey, I was thinking about going and visiting C, do you think you could tell me where he is now?" I'm sure A understands how you're feeling and will help you.
I'd be pretty shocked to hear a friend of mine got put to jail because of this.

I'd be pretty angry at him since I've been molested in the past by an adult. Because he should know better than to do that to someone.

Or perhaps he's not right in the head? An ex of mine told me his uncle wasn't right in the head and molested this girl. He was put into a mental institution for it.

I would tell him how exactly you feel. That even though i don't agree what he did, but I would still think of him as a friend. Although i owuld keep my distance.
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ỳoύя jύsτ αs soƒτ αs α ℓíoи ταмe∂
ỳoύя jύsτ αs ωєτ αs τhє єvєиíиg яαíи

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As a person who was raped multiple times as a child, I would not want him anywhere near me, or my future children.

I don't care if I end up finding out that my best friend since jr high, college, or high school ******** 2oo small children, I would break that friendship in a heart beat.

It's one thing to have the fetish and watching loli-porn or shouta porn because it's cartoons, no child was harmed. But to actually do it with a child is disgusting and wrong.

No child ever asks to have that happen to them.

My heart goes out to the victims and their family.


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ỳoύя ℓovє ís ∂яívíиg мє…
ỳoύя ∂яívíиg мє íиsαиє

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weeneez's avatar

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Anasui
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ỳoύя jύsτ αs soƒτ αs α ℓíoи ταмe∂
ỳoύя jύsτ αs ωєτ αs τhє єvєиíиg яαíи

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As a person who was raped multiple times as a child, I would not want him anywhere near me, or my future children.

I don't care if I end up finding out that my best friend since jr high, college, or high school ******** 2oo small children, I would break that friendship in a heart beat.

It's one thing to have the fetish and watching loli-porn or shouta porn because it's cartoons, no child was harmed. But to actually do it with a child is disgusting and wrong.

No child ever asks to have that happen to them.

My heart goes out to the victims and their family.


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ỳoύя ℓovє ís ∂яívíиg мє…
ỳoύя ∂яívíиg мє íиsαиє

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I'm sorry this happened to you, I was molested as a child as well by a full adult, so I understand somewhat what the victim is going through.
Sometimes I want to hate this friend of mine, but for some reason I can't. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm disgusted.
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weeneez
Anasui
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ỳoύя jύsτ αs soƒτ αs α ℓíoи ταмe∂
ỳoύя jύsτ αs ωєτ αs τhє єvєиíиg яαíи

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

As a person who was raped multiple times as a child, I would not want him anywhere near me, or my future children.

I don't care if I end up finding out that my best friend since jr high, college, or high school ******** 2oo small children, I would break that friendship in a heart beat.

It's one thing to have the fetish and watching loli-porn or shouta porn because it's cartoons, no child was harmed. But to actually do it with a child is disgusting and wrong.

No child ever asks to have that happen to them.

My heart goes out to the victims and their family.


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ỳoύя ℓovє ís ∂яívíиg мє…
ỳoύя ∂яívíиg мє íиsαиє

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I'm sorry this happened to you, I was molested as a child as well by a full adult, so I understand somewhat what the victim is going through.
Sometimes I want to hate this friend of mine, but for some reason I can't. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm disgusted.
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ỳoύя jύsτ αs soƒτ αs α ℓíoи ταмe∂
ỳoύя jύsτ αs ωєτ αs τhє єvєиíиg яαíи

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

I understand. Me, personally, I would not want to see him in jail because I would go off on him and they would have to restrain me from cutting the ******** balls off (it would take me months to actually calm down to the point to actually talk to a person like that).

But if you feel like you can go there and behave like an adult and you think it can help you with dealing with the issue, then go for it. If not, then just let it be.


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ỳoύя ℓovє ís ∂яívíиg мє…
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Sounds like a nice guy with a fatal attraction.
...Aurora Dream...'s avatar

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weeneez
I plan on leaving him in the past, I just feel like I'm not..as disgusted I should be? I wouldn't say because this is personal, but its kind of close to home since I know the guy personally. But I fully understand what he did is nowhere close to right.

I can kind of relate. A couple years ago I found out that someone I knew from high school got charged with statutory rape. I still have a hard time believing it; I'm not able to get that image of who she used to be out of my head. Granted, I wasn't as close to her as you seem to have been to C. My sister was probably closer to her than I was.

She graduated the same year I did. We were on one of my high school's sports teams together (I was more of a reserve member, since I had another sport that took precedence most of the time). Outside of school, she and my sister were on the city's sport team together. She was smart, kind, friendly, pretty, gentle, and really good at that sport. After high school, she became a coach for the city's team... and apparently had a relationship with one of her 13-year-old female athletes. From what I read in the papers, I think the most they did was kiss, maybe some touching, but still... the girl I knew had a fabulous career ahead of her (she's related to someone who coaches the national team of that sport, who has coached at the Olympics, etc) and there it goes up in smoke. Why did she do that?

I can't remember the last time I talked to her. And as I said before, I really wasn't that close with her, so I'm not going to make any effort to contact her. But if I ever did see her again, I think I'd be open to talking with her or whatever. I can't dislike her because that image that I remember of her is just too strong in comparison to what I've read she's done. And besides, I'm sure she's heard from loads of people who are close to her, and probably people who don't even know her, how much she ******** up and what a disgusting thing she did, etc, etc. She doesn't need one more person reminding her of it when I'm sure she's thinking about it herself, it's not like she can forget.

I dunno what to tell you when it comes to your situation. I'm sure it's even harder for you, having been close to him, and the charges against him seem to be more serious than those against the girl I knew. What do you honestly feel like doing?
I have a friend who jokes with this enough to make me feel uncomfortable, but I guess people can't help who they are, but they can help what they do. My friends never done anything that would get him in trouble, or will.

If he did, the act as well as lack of control would remove the value of him in my eyes to a point I wouldn't be able to maintain a companionship with them.
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I'm sorry if I'm necroing this topic, but I'm kind of in the same situation in my family. My brother, who turned 24 in April is on the Maryland Sex Offender registry. He had limewire on his computer - which is a bad program to download first of all - mostly because of all the huge risks of downloading viruses, trojans, spyware, etc.

On Limewire, he click the link and downloaded nude pictures of a girl who had posted the pictures on Limewire. Turns out, she was 17 years old. My brother got arrested and was charged. He ended up taking a plea deal where he spent most of 2010 in jail and won't be off probation until 2014.

What your friend C fails to realize is now that he's been charged, companies are not going to hire him. He's got a criminal record, and people with criminal records generally end up having a very hard time finding jobs. He pretty much threw his life away for acting stupid.

I'm not being very condemming, but that's how it is. At the place I volunteer at, our head technican and day-to-day operator is a convicted drug dealer. He's tried so many times to get a job - even with a skill he learned in jail - but no one will hire him. Even though he's been out of jail for almost over a decade, no one will still hire him.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound ashole-ish, but that's how it is. Your friend C will have a hard time getting a job because of his criminal background. He can't get a job with children, and his face will be on your state's sex offender registry for the rest of his life.

He will have a difficult time finding a job that will hire him - yes, employer's check all applicants to see if they have a criminal record - and even if he does get hired at a job - he will be stigmatized for the rest of his life. The state of Maryland deems my brother a prevert, but I've never had sex before and I find porn just boring. For a someone like me, people will look at both of us funny. My parents will have to shake off the stigmatism that they are bad parents because their son went to jail. And how does my family explain all this? We lie by saying he punched a cop during a traffic stop.

I wish I could help you even more, but the only thing you can do is let him do his time, hope he learns his lesson, and just step back from the whole situation. For example: say he wants a summer job. Maybe you can't defend him in front of an employer during an interview, but telling him that you support his efforts to find employment is a good way to start. It's the same with my brother - he's got a record, and I can't protect him from interviewers asking about his time in prison or that he's on the sex registry list in my state. However, if he wants a summer job, I'll support his efforts. Again, they're is only so much you can do.

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