High School friend ended up being a ***** :UPDATE:

[ronin_god_of_death]

first of all that sucked second of all i think you handled this pretty well yes what he did was wrong but i have friends that drink underage and smoke pot which is illegal so kudos to you for sticking by your friend

[jrduly]

Songo_chan

I will now direct you to my first post. I said I am fine with ***** as long as it is between two consenting parties. If there is any form of manipulation, then the two parties aren't truly consenting to the act. If that happens then I find it disgusting. Manipulation of any kind when it comes to sex is in my eyes rape. That is why I said two consenting parties. Also I would like to point out that at the age of thirteen a person can be charged as an adult for murder, because the law has deemed they are knowledgable enough to know right from wrong. Can't this be said for consenting to a sexual act. If you are considered knowledgable enough to be charged as an adult, with all the implications that go with it, why can't you be considered knowledgable enough to be able to consent to a sexual act?
Now I have very mixed feelings about what this man did to this girl because of her being eleven, don't get me wrong. I'm just pointing out a few points.

[jrduly]

Demyan The Devil

It didn't show your picture, so I have no idea what you were trying to say...

[jrduly]

weeneez

I will have to refer you to my response with Songo_Chan. Now I have a question for you. If you say thirteen is to young to fully know about what you are agreeing to when it comes to sex, then what is the age that is acceptable to be able to agree to sex and know all the drawbacks that might come with it?

[jrduly]

RegretMule

jrduly

Because 13 year olds are mature, right? Even if they are, which is highly unlikely they should wait till they're legal.

Legal where? In some areas around the world you can be put into an arranged marriage from age eight to eighteen. If we're going off of what is legal then around the world you can consent to sex at age 13 and 14, with some countries have no age of consent laws. Now I don't want to have an argument in this nice girls thread, so believe what you want.

[TheValenDreth]

Anime is famous for men looking like flat chested women and women looking like underaged girls with DD breasts. He was an avid anime fan and the leader of the high school anime club. He turns out to be a pe.dobear. Didn't see that coming!

Ah, who am I kidding?

[weeneez]

jrduly

weeneez

I will have to refer you to my response with Songo_Chan. Now I have a question for you. If you say thirteen is to young to fully know about what you are agreeing to when it comes to sex, then what is the age that is acceptable to be able to agree to sex and know all the drawbacks that might come with it?

Sex happens to youth, this is a fact. But an adult, someone over the age of 18, should know better to take advantage of an innocent youth as someone who is younger than 14. If a 14 year-old and another 14-year old engage in sexual intercourse, I can see that happening. But an adult should always know better.

[weeneez]

raphael_god_of_life

first of all that sucked second of all i think you handled this pretty well yes what he did was wrong but i have friends that drink underage and smoke pot which is illegal so kudos to you for sticking by your friend

I don't want to come off as sounding rude but..how does underage drinking and pot smoking compare to child molestation?
Underage drinkers and pot smokers are so common it shouldn't even come as a shock to anyone anymore.

[Blue Hex]

weeneez

jrduly

weeneez

I will have to refer you to my response with Songo_Chan. Now I have a question for you. If you say thirteen is to young to fully know about what you are agreeing to when it comes to sex, then what is the age that is acceptable to be able to agree to sex and know all the drawbacks that might come with it?

Sex happens to youth, this is a fact. But an adult, someone over the age of 18, should know better to take advantage of an innocent youth as someone who is younger than 14. If a 14 year-old and another 14-year old engage in sexual intercourse, I can see that happening. But an adult should always know better.

A writer is a person...

Again, before anyone jumps on me, I must state that I am not pro-***** here but I just see this comment as talking in circles.

The adult should know better. Should know better then what? To engage in sexual activties with someone that is asking for it because of their age? What exactly are they knowing better then? Society has enforced this image onto people that youth are always innocent, always the victim in these cases, that they don't know what they're doing and if they say they want sex with an older person they should just sit down and shut up because they don't know what they're talking about. And that the adult should know this and accept this?

No offense meant here, but that's just plan bunk. Often times, even on this website, you will find stacks upon stacks of young people saying that they know what they are doing when they have sex with someone older. That they want it and the other person wants it so why is wrong. They kick up a fuss to be treated like they know what they are talking about. But we have been hard wired to view them as foolish children that need to be given a time out and pitied and the older person shunned as a sick and twisted criminal. How is that at all fair? I have known many, many people that lost their virginity at young ages to older people. In fact its insanely common among young girls because they mature faster then boys and hit an age of understanding sooner and they want to be with the older and more mature male that they feel fits them and understands them better. And men are often times hardwired to think that they need the younger girl because they are suppose to be the protector. And yet society still condemns this.

Honestly...why is it different for a 14 year old to have sex with another 14 year old then it is for them to have sex, with let's say, a 20 year old, if they are -willing- to? Sex is Sex. The act they are engaging in is the same, with the same risks, potentials, action and meaning. But people focus on the age more then the act and chastise the older person for not "knowing better". The act is the same and if they don't understand what they're doing with a 20 year old, then they don't understand what they're doing with the 14 year old.

Not to mention, age of consent varies from place to place as was pointed out. Some places have NO consent laws, and even in the US some states have an age of consent as low as 12 years old. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but I just don't buy the "All youths are innocent and don't know better and are just being manipulated". Unfortunately I no longer am able to have such misconceptions after seeing youth that tore this idea to shreds happily.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

[weeneez]

Chikara_Kai

weeneez

jrduly

weeneez

I will have to refer you to my response with Songo_Chan. Now I have a question for you. If you say thirteen is to young to fully know about what you are agreeing to when it comes to sex, then what is the age that is acceptable to be able to agree to sex and know all the drawbacks that might come with it?

Sex happens to youth, this is a fact. But an adult, someone over the age of 18, should know better to take advantage of an innocent youth as someone who is younger than 14. If a 14 year-old and another 14-year old engage in sexual intercourse, I can see that happening. But an adult should always know better.

A writer is a person...

Again, before anyone jumps on me, I must state that I am not pro-***** here but I just see this comment as talking in circles.

The adult should know better. Should know better then what? To engage in sexual activties with someone that is asking for it because of their age? What exactly are they knowing better then? Society has enforced this image onto people that youth are always innocent, always the victim in these cases, that they don't know what they're doing and if they say they want sex with an older person they should just sit down and shut up because they don't know what they're talking about. And that the adult should know this and accept this?

No offense meant here, but that's just plan bunk. Often times, even on this website, you will find stacks upon stacks of young people saying that they know what they are doing when they have sex with someone older. That they want it and the other person wants it so why is wrong. They kick up a fuss to be treated like they know what they are talking about. But we have been hard wired to view them as foolish children that need to be given a time out and pitied and the older person shunned as a sick and twisted criminal. How is that at all fair? I have known many, many people that lost their virginity at young ages to older people. In fact its insanely common among young girls because they mature faster then boys and hit an age of understanding sooner and they want to be with the older and more mature male that they feel fits them and understands them better. And men are often times hardwired to think that they need the younger girl because they are suppose to be the protector. And yet society still condemns this.

Honestly...why is it different for a 14 year old to have sex with another 14 year old then it is for them to have sex, with let's say, a 20 year old, if they are -willing- to? Sex is Sex. The act they are engaging in is the same, with the same risks, potentials, action and meaning. But people focus on the age more then the act and chastise the older person for not "knowing better". The act is the same and if they don't understand what they're doing with a 20 year old, then they don't understand what they're doing with the 14 year old.

Not to mention, age of consent varies from place to place as was pointed out. Some places have NO consent laws, and even in the US some states have an age of consent as low as 12 years old. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but I just don't buy the "All youths are innocent and don't know better and are just being manipulated". Unfortunately I no longer am able to have such misconceptions after seeing youth that tore this idea to shreds happily.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

I was molested by my own uncle when I was 7. There are some people that don't ask for it, and those that do. And honestly I believe that sex should be handled more maturely, even if the youth asks an older person to have sex with them, I honestly think they should both wait until the youth is more older and more mature. They may know what they're doing, but it doesn't always mean they're mature about it.
I had a friend who lost her virginity when she was 13 to some guy who was 18. She knew what sex was back then, and back then, she wanted it to. But when she hit 18 herself, she grew to regret what she did back when she was younger and wish she handled herself better. They may want it, and know what they're doing, but there's also the chance they can regret it later.
Besides, earlier I saw you said some girl was a mother by the age of 12. I honestly cannot believe anyone really wants to be a parent/mother at that young of an age. Where will their childhood go? They can grow up to regret that decision they made for the rest of their lives. Children should live their childhood as children, and not acting out sexually.

Edit: And you said that these people throw a "hissy fit" when they're told to wait to have sex. Does that sound like a mature person who is ready for sex, if they throw a fit just because they're told no? Kids these days are rushing to grow up, and whether or not its preventable, which I know its not, adults shouldn't help push them to grow up. I'm not saying we can stop them from having sex either, because if kids wanna have sex, they're gonna have sex. A lot of kids around the age of 12 - 14 aren't taught by their parents, and sometimes not even by their schools, the full consequences of sex and pregnancy. I didn't have a sex educational class until I was 15, and my mom never told me anything about sex herself. So back then I was completely clueless.

[Blue Hex]

weeneez

I was molested by my own uncle when I was 7. There are some people that don't ask for it, and those that do. And honestly I believe that sex should be handled more maturely, even if the youth asks an older person to have sex with them, I honestly think they should both wait until the youth is more older and more mature. They may know what they're doing, but it doesn't always mean they're mature about it.
I had a friend who lost her virginity when she was 13 to some guy who was 18. She knew what sex was back then, and back then, she wanted it to. But when she hit 18 herself, she grew to regret what she did back when she was younger and wish she handled herself better. They may want it, and know what they're doing, but there's also the chance they can regret it later.
Besides, earlier I saw you said some girl was a mother by the age of 12. I honestly cannot believe anyone really wants to be a parent/mother at that young of an age. Where will their childhood go? They can grow up to regret that decision they made for the rest of their lives. Children should live their childhood as children, and not acting out sexually.

A writer is a person...

I am sorry for what happened to you, and as I said earlier, I don't believe all cases are an aspect of the child asking for it. There are cases of rape, plain and simple, or molestation. The same as an 18 year old can be raped and/or molested by their uncle.

But who is to decide when a youth is "more mature"? As I've said and I'm sure people have seen, there are cases where a younger person can be much, much more mature then said older person. Maturity is not about a number, its about a mind set. People like to tack an age onto the idea of maturity and make other's think that age=maturity. With that idea, if the age of consent in the particular state that you are living in is, say, 16...that means by state findings, 16 is the age of maturity? Let's then skip to another state where the age of consent is 12 (they're out there, trust me. I live within a 3 hour drive of one of them >.> ) by that states ideas, the "age of maturity" is a whooping 12 years old. I don't think that it is fair to the youth for anyone else to decide when they are mature enough. If they feel in their own hearts that they are, they're going to do what they want. Don't you remember being a (pre)teen? I sure as hell do and I remember getting furious when someone else tried to decide if I was mature enough or not by their accord.

I am sorry that your friend ended up feeling that way, but that is not always the case. I had a friend that had a similar situation. She lost her virginity at 14 to a 20 year old man. Years later, we're both 27 and she has never regretted it. Why? Because it was her choice to do so and she knows that. She owned her choice and never looked back. Did she end up with they guy? No. Did that change her mind about what she did? Not at all. Everyone has the chance to regret, that's not an age thing. My friend never regretted loosing her virginity at 14 to that 20 year old, but my friend that lost her virginity at 21 to her boyfriend DID regret it.

When I see the subject of young sex come up, there is always one fact that stands out. People generalize it based on the percentage of those that weren't happy with their outcome. They use that generalization to judge and place preconceptions on ALL of them, which isn't right. There are just as many youths that engage in sexual activities with older (or same age) partners that never come to regret it, that never feel they were manipulated or taken advantage of. The fact of life is that people regret a lot. Most of the regret from sex comes from the ideals that society places on it. That sex is a special act that should done between two people that love each other, that a girl should remain a virgin until she finds the "one", that people that have had more then one sex partner are some how dirty. Hearing these often make a person regret sexual choices that they have made, but does it make what they did wrong? I don't think so.

And as sad as it sounds, just because you don't believe it doesn't mean that it isn't true. That girl does exist as did many other's with the same mind set. This Half Way House that I worked at for a year (I had to quit because it was so damn depressing) housed girls and boys on two separate campuses. They were sent her to live and for schooling by parents that just couldn't handle their behavior and didn't want to anymore. I worked on the girl's campus and about 60% of the girls under the age of 16 had been pregnant at least once. This particular girl that I spoke of had had sex at 11 with a man that was 23 four times in an attempt to get pregnant. Why she wanted the child I don't understand, but she did. Her room was lined with the little boy's picture and she always said that when she was 18 she was going to leave the dump, get her child back from her parents and raise him as she intended to in the first place. WHen I asked her why she got pregnant at that age she simply would shrug and say "Because I wanted to, what's so wrong with that? Why can someone with more years under their belt not get s**t for wanting the same thing? Least I was willing to own up to damn choice and planned on raising the kid." That always stuck with me after all these years.

As I said, regret is a state of mind and not everyone feels it for their actions. This girl didn't and neither did many of the others living there.

And yes, children should live as children, but who are we to decide for them when they feel they are no longer a child? Regret is, unfortunately, a fact of life. Everyone will feel it for something they did at any age and in a lot of cases its good. It teaches a person to be wiser, think more. People learn more from their mistakes then anything else in their life.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

[weeneez]

Chikara_Kai

weeneez

I was molested by my own uncle when I was 7. There are some people that don't ask for it, and those that do. And honestly I believe that sex should be handled more maturely, even if the youth asks an older person to have sex with them, I honestly think they should both wait until the youth is more older and more mature. They may know what they're doing, but it doesn't always mean they're mature about it.
I had a friend who lost her virginity when she was 13 to some guy who was 18. She knew what sex was back then, and back then, she wanted it to. But when she hit 18 herself, she grew to regret what she did back when she was younger and wish she handled herself better. They may want it, and know what they're doing, but there's also the chance they can regret it later.
Besides, earlier I saw you said some girl was a mother by the age of 12. I honestly cannot believe anyone really wants to be a parent/mother at that young of an age. Where will their childhood go? They can grow up to regret that decision they made for the rest of their lives. Children should live their childhood as children, and not acting out sexually.

A writer is a person...

I am sorry for what happened to you, and as I said earlier, I don't believe all cases are an aspect of the child asking for it. There are cases of rape, plain and simple, or molestation. The same as an 18 year old can be raped and/or molested by their uncle.

But who is to decide when a youth is "more mature"? As I've said and I'm sure people have seen, there are cases where a younger person can be much, much more mature then said older person. Maturity is not about a number, its about a mind set. People like to tack an age onto the idea of maturity and make other's think that age=maturity. With that idea, if the age of consent in the particular state that you are living in is, say, 16...that means by state findings, 16 is the age of maturity? Let's then skip to another state where the age of consent is 12 (they're out there, trust me. I live within a 3 hour drive of one of them >.> ) by that states ideas, the "age of maturity" is a whooping 12 years old. I don't think that it is fair to the youth for anyone else to decide when they are mature enough. If they feel in their own hearts that they are, they're going to do what they want. Don't you remember being a (pre)teen? I sure as hell do and I remember getting furious when someone else tried to decide if I was mature enough or not by their accord.

I am sorry that your friend ended up feeling that way, but that is not always the case. I had a friend that had a similar situation. She lost her virginity at 14 to a 20 year old man. Years later, we're both 27 and she has never regretted it. Why? Because it was her choice to do so and she knows that. She owned her choice and never looked back. Did she end up with they guy? No. Did that change her mind about what she did? Not at all. Everyone has the chance to regret, that's not an age thing. My friend never regretted loosing her virginity at 14 to that 20 year old, but my friend that lost her virginity at 21 to her boyfriend DID regret it.

When I see the subject of young sex come up, there is always one fact that stands out. People generalize it based on the percentage of those that weren't happy with their outcome. They use that generalization to judge and place preconceptions on ALL of them, which isn't right. There are just as many youths that engage in sexual activities with older (or same age) partners that never come to regret it, that never feel they were manipulated or taken advantage of. The fact of life is that people regret a lot. Most of the regret from sex comes from the ideals that society places on it. That sex is a special act that should done between two people that love each other, that a girl should remain a virgin until she finds the "one", that people that have had more then one sex partner are some how dirty. Hearing these often make a person regret sexual choices that they have made, but does it make what they did wrong? I don't think so.

And as sad as it sounds, just because you don't believe it doesn't mean that it isn't true. That girl does exist as did many other's with the same mind set. This Half Way House that I worked at for a year (I had to quit because it was so damn depressing) housed girls and boys on two separate campuses. They were sent her to live and for schooling by parents that just couldn't handle their behavior and didn't want to anymore. I worked on the girl's campus and about 60% of the girls under the age of 16 had been pregnant at least once. This particular girl that I spoke of had had sex at 11 with a man that was 23 four times in an attempt to get pregnant. Why she wanted the child I don't understand, but she did. Her room was lined with the little boy's picture and she always said that when she was 18 she was going to leave the dump, get her child back from her parents and raise him as she intended to in the first place. WHen I asked her why she got pregnant at that age she simply would shrug and say "Because I wanted to, what's so wrong with that? Why can someone with more years under their belt not get s**t for wanting the same thing? Least I was willing to own up to damn choice and planned on raising the kid." That always stuck with me after all these years.

As I said, regret is a state of mind and not everyone feels it for their actions. This girl didn't and neither did many of the others living there.

And yes, children should live as children, but who are we to decide for them when they feel they are no longer a child? Regret is, unfortunately, a fact of life. Everyone will feel it for something they did at any age and in a lot of cases its good. It teaches a person to be wiser, think more. People learn more from their mistakes then anything else in their life.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

All I'm going to say is that we shouldn't always say its okay, and shouldn't always say its wrong either. I know there's different circumstances for everyone, but I know the 11-year old involved in this was innocent and didn't know what was going on at the time.

[Blue Hex]

weeneez

All I'm going to say is that we shouldn't always say its okay, and shouldn't always say its wrong either. I know there's different circumstances for everyone, but I know the 11-year old involved in this was innocent and didn't know what was going on at the time.

A writer is a person...

Agreed fully. And what happened to her is inexcusable as it is in any case of rape/molestation. Like I said in my first post, it wasn't regarding her or anyone in specific because I didn't know her situation. And I do hope she's okay.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

[weeneez]

Chikara_Kai

weeneez

All I'm going to say is that we shouldn't always say its okay, and shouldn't always say its wrong either. I know there's different circumstances for everyone, but I know the 11-year old involved in this was innocent and didn't know what was going on at the time.

A writer is a person...

Agreed fully. And what happened to her is inexcusable as it is in any case of rape/molestation. Like I said in my first post, it wasn't regarding her or anyone in specific because I didn't know her situation. And I do hope she's okay.

...that has taught their mind to misbehave

Well its been about 2 years now since it happened, I'm sure she'd had some time to cope with what happened to her. I just hope it doesn't scar her too badly.