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weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

I've been thinking about this a lot recently for some reason.
Here's the story:

I knew this guy in High School, we'll call him C, we met through a High School Anime Club. He was the Vice President of the club, and I became closer friends with him because he was friends with my friends. He was a really nice, intelligent guy who had an awesome sense of humor. I saw no bad in this guy. I've known him for about 5 years.
Last year, one of our mutual friends messages me on facebook with a mug shot link. Its our friend C. He was arrested for having child pornography on his laptop and having multiple "photos" of him and the neighbors 11-year old daughter. I was in complete shock, and at first denial. So I went onto C's facebook to see TONS of people on there saying things like:
"I can't believe you would do this."
"You're disgusting, I can't believe I was friends with you."

Even C's best friend, A, left something on there saying, "Even though what he did was wrong, he's still my best friend".
This is kind of how I feel, I can't say I was good friends with him, but I knew him well enough over the years. I'm highly disgusted with what he did, but I still look at him as a friend, but I don't know how to handle this.
How would you feel in this situation (even though its kind of hard to compare to this situation)?

UPDATE: So I'm thinking about contacting C's friend A, and getting some information on C's whereabouts (where he's jailed, etc), and maybe sending a letter or maybe visiting him in jail (is its allowed, I would have no idea how to set it up). Does this sound like a good idea, should I do this? And even if I go through with this, I have no idea how to bring it up to A without seeming awkward, and I don't know 100% if he still stays in contact with C himself.
It's sick, Wrong. Disturbing.
But so is what happens in wars.
If he was my friend, Even after trial and conviction. He would be my friend in prison. Nothing different but where he is. I would also want to know why. Most cases of ***** is caused by a traumatic experience in their own childhood.
Perhaps I'd help him resolve his problems that bring these urges.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

Used_Abused_Forgotten
It's sick, Wrong. Disturbing.
But so is what happens in wars.
If he was my friend, Even after trial and conviction. He would be my friend in prison. Nothing different but where he is. I would also want to know why. Most cases of ***** is caused by a traumatic experience in their own childhood.
Perhaps I'd help him resolve his problems that bring these urges.

He's still in jail, he had multiple charges and I don't know how long his punishment is for. confused
Infinite Damnation's avatar

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That's a really tough situation...I wouldn't know how I would feel exactly. It's hard to just no longer see the person you once knew because of something like this, but at the same time it's really hard to overlook it. Being a ***** doesn't automatically make a bad person, but being a sexual predator does. He had "photos" of him and an 11 year old girl...so I would also consider that. Even if the little girl liked him or something, it was still very wrong and sick of him. She wouldn't know any better.
weeneez
Used_Abused_Forgotten
It's sick, Wrong. Disturbing.
But so is what happens in wars.
If he was my friend, Even after trial and conviction. He would be my friend in prison. Nothing different but where he is. I would also want to know why. Most cases of ***** is caused by a traumatic experience in their own childhood.
Perhaps I'd help him resolve his problems that bring these urges.

He's still in jail, he had multiple charges and I don't know how long his punishment is for. confused


since you said he was with the 11 year old + the pictures. He will probably get 25 to life for being with her. And really depends on how suggestive the pictures are, how nude they are and how many there was.
He might be able to get parole after 15-20 years. But since he's been with a minor, he's facing really hard time.
But really all depends on how decent a lawyer he has, the judge and how public this has gone.
Although even if he gets out, he's gonna have a hard life ahead of him. He has to tell any future employers of what he's done, He can't drive pass schools ETC
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

Infinite Damnation
That's a really tough situation...I wouldn't know how I would feel exactly. It's hard to just no longer see the person you once knew because of something like this, but at the same time it's really hard to overlook it. Being a ***** doesn't automatically make a bad person, but being a sexual predator does. He had "photos" of him and an 11 year old girl...so I would also consider that. Even if the little girl liked him or something, it was still very wrong and sick of him. She wouldn't know any better.

I don't know the story behind the girl, but I know no matter what happened it still isn't right. I'm disgusted by it physically and morally, but..

He was a great friend throughout High School, so this makes it really hard.
Since I have a kid, how I feel would be pretty much polar opposite of how you feel. I honestly don't think I could ever remain friends with someone that took advantage of a child. No matter how amazing I thought they were before, everyone has their deal breaker that's just too much to remain friends. A ***** is definitely one of my deal breakers.
i are plushie's avatar

Beloved Nerd

What he did doesn't change the years you knew him. From whenever until whenever he was a good friend, you guys did whatever, he was cool, etc. Years of existence are not erased because of a decision. You can still look back on those times with fond memories, remember him as the friend he was, and simultaneously be disgusted with a morally repulsive decision he made. There's nothing wrong with doing both, so do both.
I wouldn't care about him anymore. He deserves to rot.
weeneez's avatar

Dapper Millionaire

Narcissistic Admiration
Since I have a kid, how I feel would be pretty much polar opposite of how you feel. I honestly don't think I could ever remain friends with someone that took advantage of a child. No matter how amazing I thought they were before, everyone has their deal breaker that's just too much to remain friends. A ***** is definitely one of my deal breakers.

Yeah I don't have kids of my own confused

I haven't talked to him since long before I found out this happened, so its been way over a year, maybe even two. It just sucks cause he was a friend and it just makes it difficult. I honestly don't even know if I could communicate with him even after I knew this happened. And even when and if he gets out of jail, I might even forget about him.
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weeneez

Personally I have nothing wrong with ***** as long as the sexual act takes place by two consenting parties. I personally believe that to truly know and understand what you are about to do you should be at least thirteen to be considered a consenting party. That being said, I know a couple people who lost their virginity at around twelve years old to people in their twenties, and they are perfectly fine with that. So I guess its really a matter of perspective.
Demyan The Devil's avatar

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jrduly

Personally I have nothing wrong with ***** as long as the sexual act takes place by two consenting parties. I personally believe that to truly know and understand what you are about to do you should be at least thirteen to be considered a consenting party. That being said, I know a couple people who lost their virginity at around twelve years old to people in their twenties, and they are perfectly fine with that. So I guess its really a matter of perspective.


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jrduly
weeneez

Personally I have nothing wrong with ***** as long as the sexual act takes place by two consenting parties. I personally believe that to truly know and understand what you are about to do you should be at least thirteen to be considered a consenting party. That being said, I know a couple people who lost their virginity at around twelve years old to people in their twenties, and they are perfectly fine with that. So I guess its really a matter of perspective.

This girl was 11... what is wrong with having sexual interactions with a child? They have no idea what the heck your doing. Its considered rape because they dont know enough about what is happening to consent. Even if the person says yes they dont understand what they are consenting to, and the adult predator understands this and choses to have sexaul interactions with them anyway. Thus they are taking advantage of the younger person.

A 13 year old with some 20 year old? Have you ever talked to someone 7 years younger then you? You understand how imature they are in comparision and how easily it would be to manipulate them and lie to them? You can say "Oh, your so amazing I love you. I'm a super awesome mature older person." and not actually feel that connection.

As a person who has had a good childhood friend sexually violate me, I'd value the past memories and condem him in the present.
i could never stay friends with someone who has done that.
even if they were a close friend i would never talk to them again and they could burn in hell.

me and my sister ware adopted because our birth father was a ***** so i have very very strong feelings toward this sort of thing though.
Stale Humor's avatar

Ruthless Gekko

I have a child, and children do not ask for this. Yet, people look at pornographic pictures of them. If I had a friend that did that, I would leave him in the past where he belongs. He may have not taken the pictures, but he was certainly taking advantage of children by looking at them.

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