Fixed

[xChibi Cannibalx]

Ill start off by saying this is probly more of a vent

My boyfriend is a manager at McDonalds. Currently, hes working night shifts although he told them he cannot do them due to an *incident that happened last year. They put him back on this shift again because managers were quitting left and right due to a new boss who doesnt exactly fallow the rules. Yes, shes been reported by workers as well as customers, the company is doing nothing about it. Anyway, his hours are 10:00pm to 5:30am - 6:30am depending on how busy it is that night. Ive morphed to his new sleeping schedule because we live together [we both live in his parents house, currently]. We usually fall asleep around 9am and wake up around 8pm. Side note, sleeping while its bright out gives me a shooting headache when i wake up; our blinds arnt the best, but its all weve got

We eat before bed and we eat when we wake up, kind of like anyone else would do during the day. However, i cant during the night. Everything in the kitchen is always loud. They stack things rather than put them away, so if i need a pot, chances are that ill have to move several before getting one thats the right size. Not to mention one thats clean. His younger sister does the dishes and she usually slacks because there are 6 people living in the house, and those dishes do add up. She refuses to do them sometimes, too. Back on topic, the kitchen is very loud, so i cannot eat while everyone is sleeping. Im stuck eating twice a day, then snacking over night. The snacks usually consist of pretzels, poptarts, or candy. Im starting to get sick when i eat any of these, and i understand why - theyre junk. So now when i eat, i feel sick, and when i dont eat, i feel sick. Its a lose - lose situation with eating

As you can also see, our sleep schedule takes up the entire daytime we have if we need to run errands. I cant drive due to medical issues, so he is my one and only driver to get things done. We can still go grocery shopping thanks to 24/7 walmart, but if either of us need to go to a doctor, we cant. Or if we want to go on a date, we really cant because the theaters arnt open, and good restaurants arnt open either

I feel hungry, tired, and constantly exhausted to the point i feel like im going to pass out and/or puke. Im starting to feel depressed when hes gone because im locked up in the room the entire time so i dont wake up his family. I dont know what to do any more

*Note. He was getting really sick/exhausted and passed out while on the job and was sent to the ER

~~~~~~~~~~

EDIT: Pretty much worked it out. Were going to be spending more time in the morning than at night so we can get things done then go to bed after

EDIT 2: Everything is pretty much worked out now. Were going to leave the morning open to do what we need, then go to bed around 11 - noon. Weve got fruits to bring to the room for me to snack on at night, and weve got the basement fridge and part of the freezer. We are now allowed to clean our own dishes, which will help a lot too. Eating at night is getting easier now that we have enough space to just heat something up in the microwave

[SPAstronaut]

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

[xChibi Cannibalx]

SPAstronaut

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

I still couldnt do anything during the day when things need to get done. I morph to his schedule so we dont have fights about who needs to miss sleep that day/night

[SPAstronaut]

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

I still couldnt do anything during the day when things need to get done. I morph to his schedule so we dont have fights about who needs to miss sleep that day/night

You're not getting anything done during the day now anyway, so may as well fix what you can of it, like your eating habits.

[xChibi Cannibalx]

SPAstronaut

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

I still couldnt do anything during the day when things need to get done. I morph to his schedule so we dont have fights about who needs to miss sleep that day/night

You're not getting anything done during the day now anyway, so may as well fix what you can of it, like your eating habits.

But fighting over sleep will only add stress weve both already got. Id rather try to find something else to help

[SPAstronaut]

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

I still couldnt do anything during the day when things need to get done. I morph to his schedule so we dont have fights about who needs to miss sleep that day/night

You're not getting anything done during the day now anyway, so may as well fix what you can of it, like your eating habits.

But fighting over sleep will only add stress weve both already got. Id rather try to find something else to help

Why are you fighting over sleep? Is it something you can work out and/or compromise?

[xChibi Cannibalx]

SPAstronaut

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

xChibi Cannibalx

SPAstronaut

You could make your sleeping schedule different. Obviously he can't, but you can. You could go to sleep at 10pm when he's at work and wake up at 6 or 7am when he comes home. Then you can fix your sleeping pattern, eating pattern, and still see him just as much as you do now.

I still couldnt do anything during the day when things need to get done. I morph to his schedule so we dont have fights about who needs to miss sleep that day/night

You're not getting anything done during the day now anyway, so may as well fix what you can of it, like your eating habits.

But fighting over sleep will only add stress weve both already got. Id rather try to find something else to help

Why are you fighting over sleep? Is it something you can work out and/or compromise?

One of us will have to miss sleeping when we have doctors appointments, or the like. With the same sleeping schedule, we both know when were both awake and both asleep. Im also his alarm clock since he doesnt have a phone/watch/clock, so when we plan things i have to keep track. If im alseep, i cant do this for him. Id rather not add stress/pressures onto him because of whats going on at his work right now

[Angeltear1716]

Why dont you pre-make the meals so then all you have to do is heat it up? Or ask the other family members to leave something covered so you can just reheat it later?
If you plan what you're going to eat, get out what you'll need beforehand or make sure its on top and explain why that is the case so you dont wake them.

I cant really think of much else at the moment, but if you eat salads then they take no cooking and they're much better for you than what you're eating - or fruit!

[Ladybird Sauce]

You're sleeping for too long. Adults only need about 8 hours of sleep a night - you're currently getting 11. Depending on when things are open near you, either go to sleep at 9am and wake up at 5pm, or wait until midday to go to sleep and get up at 8pm. That gives you three extra hours during normal opening hours to run errands or do fun stuff.

As for the eating, the meal you have overnight should be equivalent to lunch, so it doesn't need to be huge. When you make the meal you eat in the evenings, make yourself a sandwich or simple pasta salad or something at the same time. Stick it in the fridge, and then when you get hungry you just need to grab it quietly. You should also get hold of some healthier snacks - fruit and veg, for instance.

And if you're in the house all day (I assume, since you don't have a form of transport?) it might be nice of you to help the sister out with all of the dishes, instead of blaming her for not doing a good enough job. You admit yourself that it's quite a lot for her to have to do with there being six of you.

[legnanellaf5]

You have no excuse for your sleeping habits. He has to sleep in this awkward manner because of work, but you dont. Staying up all night just because he works until 6 is ridiculous. Go to bed at a normal time, tell him to be quiet when he comes in because he lives in a house with 6 people. He also needs to not be sleeping until 8. Idk why he is taking until 9 to sleep, but he should be crashingy by 7-8, and then waking up by 3-4 pm. Then he would have a bunch of hours avaialble to be awake and do things with you, so not as much conflict as when he literally sleeps and works.

[Bionic Bitchtits]

This may not be what you want to hear, but...

Honey, sleeping 11 hours all day, every day, is ridiculous. Get your lazy a** up and help his sister with the dishes. You simply do not have to sleep when he sleeps. Sleeping while he is at work would be great - go to bed when he leaves, wake up when he gets home, spend a little time with him until he goes to bed. He should not be sleeping 11 hours either. If he works at 10pm, he can sleep from 1-9 or 12-8, and therefore you can easily get an early morning doctor's appointment in if he picks you up right after work. Or you can go out to breakfast together when he gets out of work.

You need to learn to budget your time and maybe grow up - if you're living with his family for free and not even having a job (which is how it sounds) then you need to help them out around the house because you don't sound like you're paying rent. My fiance and I work opposites. I'm on a 9-5 while he's on a 2-10. I am often asleep or getting ready for bed when he gets home around 11. Sometimes I hear him come home and he plays video games until 2:30 in the morning when he comes to bed. I snuggle and then get up at 8. He sleeps until 10 or 11. He takes care of the dog and runs some errands before work most of the time, and I clean the apartment either after work or on my weekends. His 2 days off during the week, he goes to school.

We're moving out of state next month with his family and will be staying with them for awhile until we both get on our feet and have jobs.

No job + living with his family for free = you can bet your a** I'll be vacuuming and doing dishes and preparing meals all damn day when I'm not out looking for a job.

[Clonz 200]

I agree with a lot of the above comments. 11 hours is ridiculous. You only need 8. You guys are the only conflict to your situation.
As for the sunlight and headaches and stuff, maybe tack a blanket on the blinds. It helps a lot.
Get fruits like apples, bananas, get crackers if your stomach hurts..

[Lord of the Vine]

The easiest solution is adjusting both your sleeping schedules. 11 hours is entirely unnecessary.

[Tsubahi]

sad

Time for you two to find new jobs - and a new place to live, too.

[thatonechick101]

I think it's time your boyfriend looks for another job if it's going to be this destructive for you guys.

In the mean time, you could get a black blanket to hang up in front of the window(s). Super cheap solution to help with the sunlight. Maybe keep a set of dishes for your boyfriend and you to use so you don't have to worry about messing around with the loud pile. Also try to cook some meals ahead of time, like a lot of pasta that you could stick in the microwave and heat up real quick. That way you're not snacking on junk food all night.