Feeling Obsolete With Friends

[Drayle88]

Most of my friends are online, mostly because I live way out in the middle of nowhere. And I've come to find out that most of them are on a totally different level than me.

3 Are models, 2 are college graduates with their dream job, and all of the rest are successful in their life so far.


I'm starting to think that I'm just being a problem to them, and I could never understand or compare anything in my life. I'm a loser, barely have a job, still in college, and NEVER leave town (Not my choice I assure you). They talk about stuff and I just... don't get it. I tried and BS my way through but I know its just a lie..

Idk...

[Pom Graines]

You know just because you're not in a career you like or are pseudofamous doesn't mean you're not of value to your friends. They're not looking for colleagues and business partners, they're looking to hang out with someone nice and friendly who they share compatible interests with. It doesn't matter what your day job is to friends biggrin That's the beauty of friendship.

I'm a recent university grad with a back injury that prevents me from doing work most of society deems 'productive labour', I'm friends with a successful veterinarian, a pseudo-famous voice actor / author, a busker, a house husband, a professional tutor, an archaeologist, a professional illustrator, a CEO of a game company who works and has produced his own video game... and so many more. Some are living on their own, with their own families started, some are just starting families, others still live with their parents, some are well off, others aren't so much... There is so much variety in my friends professions and levels in life, really I have friends across a good chunk of the spectrum of life....

But none of that matters. I'm friends with these people not because of what they do but because of who they are. And I know they are friends with me for the same reason. We share interests, we care, we share a bond. This doesn't change whether your a high powered lawyer or an unemployed couch surfer or what stage of life you're at. You can't let being a student with limited travel range bring you down. You can't compare because you shouldn't compare. Your friends care for you for more than just your job and life status.

[[Castration Pop]]

Sounds like they're lying.

[- kwasimado]

I wouldn't worry about it. Don't compare yourself to others' jobs.

When I was in Hawaii to study, I met many friends, some models, some graduates and others like myself. I went out with them a lot. I didn't really see them waving their success in their face; just their age. I was the only 18 year old in the circle of friends while they were all around 21-23.

Anyways, just don't worry about it. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you won't make progress. Life is all about adventure and being the best you can be. I have no job and go to college. People don't respect looks in college, they respect how much you're determined to get your major.

[Drayle88]

I guess... it just makes me feel... small compared to others.

[Pom Graines]

Then as I said, don't compare yourself with others. You are where your are regardless of where anyone else is. You can strive to be where you want to be, and you can work towards that. Don't despair that you don't have that right now, you'll get where you're going eventually. No rush. It's not a race.

Or at least, if you absolutely must compare, don't just compare yourself upwards. You're doing much better than a lot of people in some ways just as you are doing much worse than a lot of people in some ways. It happens and it's okay. You're worth isn't diminished by theirs, Drayle, just as theirs isn't diminished by yours.

Just put forth your best and be a good friend (which means also confiding in them at times too).