~oO(BaDlUcK)Oo~
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Tue, 05 Feb 2013 05:31:32 +0000
Evening everyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read my problems and offer advice/support. I will try my best to make this as short as possible. heart
Anyways, this is my problem. My boyfriend runs a daycare through his buddy's place. He has been doing this for YEARS, but things are about to change.
A little bit of a backstory my help. Well, his buddy has 4 children. Two of them are twin girls, one is a boy with autism, and the oldest is a girl with a combination of aspergers and autism. My boyfriend is AMAZING with these children. He is has dedicated his entire time the past number of years to help these children grow, and help his friend make ends meet. You see, the three youngest children lost their mother after the twins where born. Then his buddy started dating, for the lack of a better word, this stupid crackhead b***h that made them call her 'mom'. (He was in an extreame depression, so he rebounded to the next closest person he could get.) This women had the oldest daughter through another man, but his buddy took her in as his own child. Well, she soon died off by overdose, so that ends that! (Never told any of the kids... Just told them that she was gone and not coming back kind of thing. It was for the best, because she was not even close to being a good monther, due to her habbits.)
So now, his buddy is about to move clear across to the other side of the country. He got an offer that he could not resist, from his brother. He was given a good job, and his own place. Out here, there are next to no jobs, and welfare barely covers housing costs. I do understand why he needs to move out there. But, my boyfriend is devastated! And I mean devastated... Ever since he found out last October, he has been depressed beyond consoling. (He was also not given any definate time, until recently, so he had a timeframe of between the beginning of the school year, to the end of the school year before they would move.) I have caught him crying on occasion, not keeping up with his personal up-keep, drinking more, and all of that stuff. He is just like a second dad to these children, and it is clearly eating him alive. And, well.. I just do not know what to do to help. sweatdrop
Well, we found out recently that all of a sudden this move is taking place at the end of this month. So, he has been frantically moving all of his stuff out of his buddy's place. While this is going on, I can see him slowly slipping deeper and deeper into a depression. These two guys have been joined at the hip for YEARS, and have been through thick and thin. This guy is more of a brother to him than his own twin brother! (Which isn't saying much, because he is a total useless p***k! ... Sorry.. I do not get along with his brother for reasons that do not need to be mentioned right now.)
I have been thinking of trying to save up money, so that he could maybe visit them sometime in the future, but with how badly my hours where cut, I do not see this happening anytime soon. (Just to travel to this are, and not even back, costs an average of $2,100!) I always hold him and tell him that I love him, and that I am always here for him. But I do not feel like it is enough. I try to take his mind off of it by taking him out for a date night, make him his fav dinner, play his fav movies and games, surpressing all of my problems, because I do not feel like I need to add to his stress... But it just doesn't seem like there is anything that I can do to help.
So, am I doing enough? Is there anything else that I could do to help him out? I feel horrible about this, but I just do not know what else to do. I know that he is going to be hurting for a VERY long time now, and it scares me that it might cause him to do something to himself. So please.. If you have any ideas/advice to give, please-please-please post.
Thank you for taking the time to read my problems and offer advice/support. I will try my best to make this as short as possible. heart
Anyways, this is my problem. My boyfriend runs a daycare through his buddy's place. He has been doing this for YEARS, but things are about to change.
A little bit of a backstory my help. Well, his buddy has 4 children. Two of them are twin girls, one is a boy with autism, and the oldest is a girl with a combination of aspergers and autism. My boyfriend is AMAZING with these children. He is has dedicated his entire time the past number of years to help these children grow, and help his friend make ends meet. You see, the three youngest children lost their mother after the twins where born. Then his buddy started dating, for the lack of a better word, this stupid crackhead b***h that made them call her 'mom'. (He was in an extreame depression, so he rebounded to the next closest person he could get.) This women had the oldest daughter through another man, but his buddy took her in as his own child. Well, she soon died off by overdose, so that ends that! (Never told any of the kids... Just told them that she was gone and not coming back kind of thing. It was for the best, because she was not even close to being a good monther, due to her habbits.)
So now, his buddy is about to move clear across to the other side of the country. He got an offer that he could not resist, from his brother. He was given a good job, and his own place. Out here, there are next to no jobs, and welfare barely covers housing costs. I do understand why he needs to move out there. But, my boyfriend is devastated! And I mean devastated... Ever since he found out last October, he has been depressed beyond consoling. (He was also not given any definate time, until recently, so he had a timeframe of between the beginning of the school year, to the end of the school year before they would move.) I have caught him crying on occasion, not keeping up with his personal up-keep, drinking more, and all of that stuff. He is just like a second dad to these children, and it is clearly eating him alive. And, well.. I just do not know what to do to help. sweatdrop
Well, we found out recently that all of a sudden this move is taking place at the end of this month. So, he has been frantically moving all of his stuff out of his buddy's place. While this is going on, I can see him slowly slipping deeper and deeper into a depression. These two guys have been joined at the hip for YEARS, and have been through thick and thin. This guy is more of a brother to him than his own twin brother! (Which isn't saying much, because he is a total useless p***k! ... Sorry.. I do not get along with his brother for reasons that do not need to be mentioned right now.)
I have been thinking of trying to save up money, so that he could maybe visit them sometime in the future, but with how badly my hours where cut, I do not see this happening anytime soon. (Just to travel to this are, and not even back, costs an average of $2,100!) I always hold him and tell him that I love him, and that I am always here for him. But I do not feel like it is enough. I try to take his mind off of it by taking him out for a date night, make him his fav dinner, play his fav movies and games, surpressing all of my problems, because I do not feel like I need to add to his stress... But it just doesn't seem like there is anything that I can do to help.
So, am I doing enough? Is there anything else that I could do to help him out? I feel horrible about this, but I just do not know what else to do. I know that he is going to be hurting for a VERY long time now, and it scares me that it might cause him to do something to himself. So please.. If you have any ideas/advice to give, please-please-please post.