Extremely Self-Conscious of Noise

[little loulia]

I read a book where one of the protagonists has Asperger's and he has something similar to you. He tries to do everything as quietly as possible. He'd walk up the stairs very carefully step-by-step to not create any sound of footsteps.

The book's called The Solitude of Prime Numbers. 3nodding

[rizuhbull]

Ariel Lianne

i'm wondering how things are going with you, rizuhbull? did you guys talk about anything interesting on thursday?

also, if anybody from this thread and/or anybody who identifies with what was said here, if you're looking to add new friends, please add me. i'm trying to meet more people who are similar to myself. biggrin

I forgot to bring it up :'D The next day I remembered and I was so agitated that I forgot. I can call her, but eh. I did however buy ten pounds of studiofoam.

[Ariel Lianne]

i'm wondering how things are going with you, rizuhbull? did you guys talk about anything interesting on thursday?

also, if anybody from this thread and/or anybody who identifies with what was said here, if you're looking to add new friends, please add me. i'm trying to meet more people who are similar to myself. biggrin

[Salaura]

I'm not sure if this will help, but have you thought of trying to soundproof your bedroom?
You mentioned above that you live with your mother and he BF, and that you pay rent, so if you could get permission from them, then you may want to look into installing curtain rods on all four walls of your room, and hanging thick fabric curtains to absorb any sounds before they get to and through the walls. For the roof try and save as many of those foam egg cartons as you can, and tack/staple them to the roof of your room. Those wavy shapes are really good at absorbing sound waves without letting them bounce back or get through. Then, for whatever furniture you have, try and drape anything soft over hard edges and corners. Clothing is the most obvious solution, but companies that make gaming miniatures sell a protective foam for minis in sheets that could be stapled/glued to the furniture to keep sound waves from bouncing off and amplifying in the space.

Maybe having done all that and knowing that nobody can hear you in your own space will help you become comfortable with listening to music or watching TV without headphones.

[Digital Fiend]

rizuhbull

Ariel Lianne

I'm no doctor and I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what you described reminded me most of a symptom of social anxiety. People can get nervous about all sorts of things that might get them noticed by others, including making too much noise. You might want to read up on social anxiety a little bit and see if you think it applies to you.

I've been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, severe social anxiety disorder and depression. You're right on the money basically, but I didn't know it can make you conscious of making too much noise. I need a solution or something to help it D;

I'm self-diagnosed social anxiety, but I don't like people to see what I'm watching or hear what I'm listening too because I don't want them to judge me for it. Whenever there are people are around, I rarely have my volume up, or I'll just turn off my music all together.

[rizuhbull]

Lilliaal

Oh it does. My definition of a disorder is the same. I feel uncomfortable even just watching tv in my room. E.g. I've been watching the show Dexter with headphones because otherwise I feel uncomfortable. It's not even like I'm watching super kawaii moe time the anime now with 60% more girl noises. It's crazy cuz I live with people who don't care. I pay rent so it's not even like I'm in a "my roof my rules" situation either.

Hiddochi wolf

They were probably just joking. I doubt your parents had malicious intentions behind their making fun of you. Most likely just teasing :3 Not that that necessarily helps you feel any better.

Inscriven

I know, it's just harder than it sounds sweatdrop

I live in a fairly smallish two-bedroom house with my mom and her bf. They couldn't be nicer and have told me repeatedly that they don't mind any noise. My closest neighbors are far enough way not to be bothered. I am getting treatment. I think it's a mix if I can be arrogant for a second and call myself polite. But I'd say it's definitely more-so the low self-esteem than politeness, cuz I know most the time I'm not bothering anyone and it still bothers me. Thanks for the encouragement.

Ariel Lianne

Thanks. Yeah I'm seeing my psychiatrist on Thursday anyway. Good time to bring it up. I can relate so much to movies having super quiet dialog then overly loud explosions so much it's not even funny.

Gid Lucion Deviluke

Well I got electronic drums after having acoustic and I think they're still too loud. Which is absurd and I know I'm the only one who thinks so.

Tzagnos Zorba

I'm as quiet as a mouse. Yeah, I need to work on it.

[Tzagnos Zorba]

The things you're doing are pretty polite. There are headphones you can wear for television or something called "TV Ears" which works great but not as comfortable as wearing nothing is. As for musical instruments you can learn some. Pick a fairly quiet instrument and yes I know most instruments make noise but you can buy a silent violin (electric) which you can use with headphones. Keyboard (again electric) can be used with headphones. Acoustic guitar is fairly quiet and nice to listen to. I'd suggest starting out and just trying to work your comfort with sound up a little at a time. Put a tape recorder in the room next to you and see how much sound reallly goes through the walls - it's probably not as much as you imagine it to be. Oh if my neighbors were only half as concerned with sound.

And on a side note I don't have any of those conditions but I also was really really sound phobic probably partly because my neighbors were SO LOUD - They'd have a phone conversation and I could hear everything they screamed into their phone... now that I've moved and gotten away from that I realize that my television at normal listening sound is so much softer than I thought it was - because they always had theirs blaring so I assumed they could hear mine just as much.. like I said even their conversations were horribly loud. ugh. But yea I bet you don't make as much noise as you think you do.

[Ghostland Observatory]

get sound isolation headphones. they usually work well both ways. the in-ear type also could work. and just an idea here, but if you'd like to learn an instrument, headphones with 1/4 line ins will work for most electronic instruments; synths, electric violin, guitar, etc.

[Ariel Lianne]

rizuhbull

Ariel Lianne

I'm no doctor and I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what you described reminded me most of a symptom of social anxiety. People can get nervous about all sorts of things that might get them noticed by others, including making too much noise. You might want to read up on social anxiety a little bit and see if you think it applies to you.

I've been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, severe social anxiety disorder and depression. You're right on the money basically, but I didn't know it can make you conscious of making too much noise. I need a solution or something to help it D;

Whoever diagnosed you (or any mental health professional) should be able to help you out with how to deal with it. I have social anxiety, myself. I mostly just try to deal with it while continuing on my neverending quest to try to find friends who will not make fun of me. I think for most people, you learn with experience and things will get better as you get older.

Hiddochi wolf

I think it's actually a symptom of a fear of judgement — I started lowering the volume of my music when my parents made fun of how often I repeated songs, and I realized that they could hear it. I started password-protecting everything when I caught them snooping on my desktop one day.
Sorry that I don't have any suggestions... this condition affects my life on a daily basis. sweatdrop Most of it (like changing my iPod's volume obsessively during car rides) has become subconscious, but other aspects of it... not so much. It consumes a good portion of my time, and has greatly reduced my trust in people.

This is me. I am ALWAYS on the volume button anytime I watch or listen to anything because I don't want to be 1) overheard and made fun of/judged for whatever media I am consuming and 2) I don't wish to be rude/noisy. I hate movies most of all. Those are the worst "volume-up, volume down" offenders. I got that phrase from William H. Macy. He basically made the same complaint about movies during an appearance on one of the late night talk shows a few years ago. EXPLOSION??? OMGWTF TURNITDOWN!!!!!!111 ...Dialogue??? OMG turn it up, I can't hear it, aaaugh!! stare stare Lol.

[Inscriven]

rizuhbull

Ariel Lianne

I'm no doctor and I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what you described reminded me most of a symptom of social anxiety. People can get nervous about all sorts of things that might get them noticed by others, including making too much noise. You might want to read up on social anxiety a little bit and see if you think it applies to you.

I've been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, severe social anxiety disorder and depression. You're right on the money basically, but I didn't know it can make you conscious of making too much noise. I need a solution or something to help it D;

It's tied to your inclination to worry about what people think of you, hence the social anxiety.

Really the only thing you can do is understand for the most part people don't really care or think about what you do all that much, and you are in your own space and are free to do whatever you want as long as you aren't being obnoxiously loud about it. It's a state of mind you have to force yourself in, and through repeated conditioning you'll see that it's not that bad.

Are you still getting treatment for your stuff? i disagree with the notion that you're just polite, I think your fear is making you afraid to merely exist in the universe because you think you're not worth the space you occupy if you feel doing things you enjoy inconvenience others.

Breaking that is going to be a b***h, but you can do it!

[Hiddochi wolf]

I don't really have a solution for you... but I can assure you that you're not alone.
I have the same problem with people hearing my music, knowing/hearing what TV shows I watch (and there's nothing inappropriate, either — I just can't stand my privacy being violated), or knowing when I'm on the computer or what I'm doing on it. I have no reason to hide any of these things, because I don't do anything wrong, but I just have such a terrible phobia of my privacy being broken. I think it's actually a symptom of a fear of judgement — I started lowering the volume of my music when my parents made fun of how often I repeated songs, and I realized that they could hear it. I started password-protecting everything when I caught them snooping on my desktop one day.
Sorry that I don't have any suggestions... this condition affects my life on a daily basis. sweatdrop Most of it (like changing my iPod's volume obsessively during car rides) has become subconscious, but other aspects of it... not so much. It consumes a good portion of my time, and has greatly reduced my trust in people.

[Lilliaal]

You sound super polite. If only everyone on the subway could be like you.

I think it's only a disorder if you are obsessive to the point of it preventing you from daily activities. i mean, I check if my music can be heard outside of my headphones whenever I put on music, and i keep the TV down, because it's polite.

[rizuhbull]

Ariel Lianne

I'm no doctor and I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what you described reminded me most of a symptom of social anxiety. People can get nervous about all sorts of things that might get them noticed by others, including making too much noise. You might want to read up on social anxiety a little bit and see if you think it applies to you.

I've been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, severe social anxiety disorder and depression. You're right on the money basically, but I didn't know it can make you conscious of making too much noise. I need a solution or something to help it D;

[Ariel Lianne]

I'm no doctor and I'm not sure if this applies to you, but what you described reminded me most of a symptom of social anxiety. People can get nervous about all sorts of things that might get them noticed by others, including making too much noise. You might want to read up on social anxiety a little bit and see if you think it applies to you.

[rizuhbull]

This might be hard to explain, but I'm super self-conscious of any noise that is attributed to me in some way.

For example, I listen to music, play video games, and watch movies/tv all with closed ear headphones and make sure none of the noise can be heard outside them. I'm better with talking, but I hate to yell.

This makes it impossible to learn an instrument, practice a new language, watch tv in my room comfortably, work out, etc.

I feel like I need a private space where no one can hear or see me. That's unrealistic, so I'm trying to be normal. Any ideas?