Eighteen, and I want a baby.

[xhe loved an a n g e l]

Now, before all of you jump down my throat about being too young, let me explain.

I've been with my boyfriend for a while now. I made a thread about him a few days ago, and got a good amount of responses, which put my mind at ease. Now, though, my mind has moved onto other troubling things.

Before him and I got into the relationship, he said that months before he even met me, he told his roommate he wanted a little girl. His roommate told him he was absolutely insane, and at twenty-one, single, and working an off-the-books job, no insurance, he'd would do an inadequate job as a parent. Not only that, but he wasn't mentally mature enough, and only thought of the pros of having a child, not the cons.

Well, months before I met him, my aunt dropped my cousin off at my apartment to stay for two weeks while her and her husband were on vacation. I'd just moved out into my own place, so I realized that I couldn't just dump the kid off on mom and dad when I got tired of her, AND I had to take those two weeks off of work because I wasn't about to pay for a babysitter. Honestly, it was, by far, the best two weeks of my life. Every night, I had the most adorable little girl cuddled up next to me asking me to rub her back and tell her a story. Every morning, she was more than excited to wake up and make burnt pancakes with me, and eat them too. She dragged me out to the park on a daily basis, asked me to do her hair and get dressed up with her to go to her little tea parties.

Granted, we fought like sisters from time to time because she's four and I'm eighteen, and I think I'm pretty childish with some things when it comes to her, because you can't fight with a brat like an adult. It's brat against brat, or no one wins. >: [

But, it made me realize that I want a baby. I know a baby is much different and far less independent than a four year old, and it's a huge responsibility to take on. Thus, I don't plan on having a child ANY time soon.

I just want to know...why do I want one all of the sudden? I spent my four years of high school saying I'd never, ever have children, wouldn't subject myself to that much responsibility, let alone put my body through that.

Now I'm with my boyfriend, we're living on our own and have been for a long time, we both have good paying, stable jobs, we're both happy. I understand now that my boyfriend wanted a little girl because he lives so far away from his mom (hasn't seen her in two years because she's in another country), and because he didn't have a girlfriend. He lacked female contact in his life, and needed to love someone who would love him back unconditionally. Now, he understands that he really couldn't have handled a child then, but still wants a few someday.

But why do I want one? I have my mom, I have people who love me unconditionally. Is it just...my body changing? Motherly instincts kicking in because I had to care for a child for two weeks and actually enjoyed it?

[Rains On Friday]

This is actually a stage a lot of women go through.
As much as you want one, are you sure this is far as you want to go in life?
Just asking, because it's rather difficult to raise a kid, and say, go to medical school.
I know a woman who was pregnant when studying for her MCAT, she did it, but it was hard.

[xhe loved an a n g e l]

No, I know that I'm not ready to end the childless parts of my life that I very much enjoy now. I know that, since I still think a child would be a 'burden', which is a very immature thought to have for someone who wants a child, I'm 100% not ready. I have plenty of birthday candles left to blow out before I should even consider trying to get pregnant.
On top of that, I just started college, and I want to pursue a career in an industry that isn't promising in the least bit.

This feeling is just very unfamiliar to me, and I wasn't sure if most women went through it or not. I figured I might've been missing something, but now I understand that it's probably just hormones.

I remember making fun of my mom for crying at sappy movies when I was a kid, and only recently did I cry for the first time while watching the Titanic (though I've seen it a least a hundred times), so maybe my brain is malfunctioning. : D

[Moonlight Silver]

You're female, we have hormones that say "pro-create! Pro-create! Pro-create! Spread the human population far and wide!"

It's best to ignore them.

You could/should do some volunteer work with needy/homeless/poor children. That might keep you satisfied.

[biohazard eyes]

i want a baby too and im only 18, people are just gonna jump down your throat calling you selfish work at a daycare center and ive been wanting to be a mum for a while...just make sure the guy your with wont leave you

[Christopher Johnson]

Good ol' biological clock waking up.

[Rains On Friday]

I know a lot of girls when they enter a stable relationship, and feel strongly connected to their partners are like, "I hear it's painful, but if I'm with them...could it be so bad?"

[GummyBear -Head Biter-]

Christopher Johnson

Good ol' biological clock waking up.

xD

[sweetcharades1234]

biohazard eyes

i want a baby too and im only 18, people are just gonna jump down your throat calling you selfish work at a daycare center and ive been wanting to be a mum for a while...just make sure the guy your with wont leave you

Please don't listen to this poster. Her reasons are far different then yours. You are going about it from a more mature standpoint. Like people have suggested try some volunteer work where you are around children. It will help settle your motherly urge to have children until you feel you are truly ready. Talk to your boyfriend about it more and plan ahead for the right time in the future where you are both fully capable and are going to get the most out of the situation.

[Jon quitted]

You want to be a whore.

Congratulation.

[GreenLys]

Do yourself and the baby a favor and wait, you want to have a secure job that you enjoy with benefits. It is so much more fun when you can afford to decorate the Baby's room exactly the way you want to without worrying about the cost.. But wanting a baby does not in anyway make you a whore. But wait.

[Jamison Harding]

You know the Tyra Banks show? I think you should watch some. Not be offensive or anything, but they tackle this issue in a few segments. I have one on my PVR (It records shows so I can watch them later, like TiVo) that is a rerun, but it is quite recent, where they explore teenage girls who want to have babies. You can see the ups and downs of these girls, and some who wanted babies end up not wanting babies but then they're already pregnant and can't turn back time or it's too late to get an abortion. Most of the girls don't want to even think about abortion, which I guess is somewhat mature in a way.

It's an interesting show sometimes, when they bring these girls on the show. Maybe you'll find it informative. You can try her website at http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/

Perhaps you can find the episodes or some articles or users who have commented or are feeling the same way you are. I don't really want to say anything since I really have not been in that position and probably will never be, but I thought you might find it useful.

[Jon quitted]

xXGreenlylXx

Do yourself and the baby a favor and wait, you want to have a secure job that you enjoy with benefits. It is so much more fun when you can afford to decorate the Baby's room exactly the way you want to without worrying about the cost.. But wanting a baby does not in anyway make you a whore. But wait.

No no....

Read the book, "Into the wild."

This man, Alexander Supertramp/Christopher prefer having no money. "Having money is no fun, It makes life too easy."

Now now, Live in a box with you and the baby. So much fun..... Not having the money for the baby's need.

I suggest it. 4laugh

[Split Skin]

You should only have a baby if you are emotionally, financially, and physically able to deal with the responsibilities that go along with it.

[lilman_ofthe_devil]

Kids are great at first then they get costly i have a 20 month old. any body want to chat