Constant Anxiety about my health

[Mari Kyomo]

Background info: I'm 22, female, I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and I'm pretty skinny.
So I have high anxiety and I've had it for years, but it hasn't been this bad before.
In October I started taking the birth control pills everyday mostly to lighten my periods and reduce the cramping, but I also use it not to get knocked up from my fiance whom I've been with for 5 years.
Anyways, I'm kind of a hypochondriac, not for the attention, but because I truly fear becoming sick and dying. I happened to read the side effects of the birth control when I started taking them, because the pharmacy never told me anything about them when I first got them, and I read that one of the rare but serious side effects is getting blood clots.

I was worried about it then but I tried not to let it get to me. After a few months I started getting more worried, and I would panic at the slightest pain in my legs. I would become obsessed with moving around and making sure I was not in the same place for long periods of time. I've had panic attacks in the middle of the night and would have to wake up my mom because I would almost pass out because I was worried that I had a blood clot and it would travel to my lungs and kill me.

I started going back to my therapist a few months ago and I even went to my doctor and told him my concerns, but he said he is not worried that I was going to get a clot. I don't have a family history of clots either, so the only risk I have is the pill. He said that if I was to become pregnant that I would have an even greater risk of getting a blood clot, but honestly right now I'm more worried about getting a clot then getting pregnant.

My anxiety about this has gotten pretty worse since I've been having lower back pain. This lower back pain has been radiating down my right leg and I've been seeing my chiropractor almost every week because of it. She looked at 2 year old x-rays of my pelvis and said that everything seems okay for the most part except for some mis-alignments that we've been working on. I want to get an MRI done but she said that my insurance company doesn't want to jump to that just yet, and they want me to try other things with my chiropractor first.

I have to take walks at the park everyday to help reduce my lower back pain, and it helps to slightly reduce my leg pains. I also do it because I feel like it will reduce my risk of getting blood clots. But I don't want it to become a compulsive behavior.

My anxiety about this has gotten so bad that I don't even do hardly anything sexual with my partner anymore and I'm tempted to just get off the pill. I'm very miserable and always feeling sick because im so worried and worked up I physically manifest symptoms of illnesses that I think about.

I see my therapist every week and I'm very aware of what anxiety does and ways to help myself relax and not worry, but at the same time I still have pain in my leg from my lower back pain which makes me fear that I have blood clots that can kill me. I have so many coping skills I can write a book about them, but I just can't seem to actually relax and stop worrying when I try to do them.

I'm just sick of always feeling scared about this and feeling miserable. It always seems to get worse at night when I'm alone and everyone's in bed, and I'll get so worked up it will make me vomit often. I have troubles falling asleep but as soon as I am asleep it's like the only peace for me.

What else can I do? I'm going to talk to my doctor again about possibly getting of the pill, but do you guys think I should even get off it?

[Chiriyum]

The more you worry, the more likely your health WILL decline. About a few months ago, I started worrying about me getting cancer
I was terrified. Then I learned that the more I worry, the more likely my brain will trick my body into getting cancer. Do not stress. Do not worry. Stress cAn cause major health issues. Try to meditate or listening to calm music. Let everything go.

[Mari Kyomo]

Chiriyum

The more you worry, the more likely your health WILL decline. About a few months ago, I started worrying about me getting cancer
I was terrified. Then I learned that the more I worry, the more likely my brain will trick my body into getting cancer. Do not stress. Do not worry. Stress cAn cause major health issues. Try to meditate or listening to calm music. Let everything go.

Actually I'm listening to calming music right now lol. I listen to all sorts of calming music and even listen to music when I go to sleep. I do know that worrying can trick my body into actually causing the health issues, and that's where I get stuck in a vicious circle of "oh god if I keep thinking about this it might actually happen and im still thinking about it and oh god it's going to happen" kind of thing. That's kind of where I am at this point, and I hate it. Dx

[uralxium]

maybe your leg/back pain is sciatica? is it like a shooting pain down your leg, as if it's going in a straight line? cos it could be that. i get that.

anyway, i used to be the same as you. i was so scared of dying and having my life taken away from me suddenly - everything was a symptom of a disease but 10/10 it was nothing. but i quickly adapt to my anxiety, i think i am lucky in that respect, so i've managed to catch onto my negative thought patterns and be like, 'urm no'. i spent so much time worrying that eventually i realised i wasn't living much by worrying, in some melodramatic sense i was dying already. i was always worried that cancer would come and rob me of the happiness i had with my then bf (now ex) that i'd lose sleep over it. then my ex left me and i guess it put s**t into perspective, i was so scared of losing him to illness that i left out human behaviour and he left me anyway - maybe my anxiety had something to do with it, i'll never know. but when that happened i suddenly thought, '******** i spent so much time worrying i never appreciated that time at all.'

and i think thats the biggest issue with anxiety is you lose perspective - what matters in the bigger picture. you need to step back and actually look at your side effects; if it was a blood clot and with you attentiveness to this issue and persistence with doctors, do you think it'd be found by now? there are many many causes for leg pain, like sciatica, and it could be paranoia causing it!

at the end of the day, if you're unhappy on the pill get off it but every contraception has side effects. you're messing with your hormones and before you get another form of contraception, you should really thoroughly research what it is you're getting. and if you're getting a birth control, you should look into it before you get it so you know you're making the right choice. it's not down to just the pharmacy, it's down to you too.

just try to monitor your irrational thoughts and ask yourself if you are overreacting; think of other options? perhaps the pain is phantom pain? there are no problems with your pelvis but if it was a clot wouldn't it have moved by now? heck, will any of this matter in 10 years time? the human body aches and hurts randomly all the time, aches and pains are natural - believe it or not. stop thinking about the worst case scenario and just focus on positive activities.

[Gold Hearted Bunny]

Don't Forget to Love


I think you should keep the pill, sweetie
♡

If you go off it, your anxiety just might shift to constant worries of "what if" whenever you and your fiance do anything.

Have you talked to your partner about everything though? I know love can cure most things..
But there are some foods that can reduce the risk of blood clotting, unless you're worried about blood thinning.

I hope any of this helps. I think you're doing well by walking everyday and getting some exercise. It's very good for your body.

btw did you hear those guys last night? x . x They were super loud and by the park I think

I'll Always be Your Vanilla

[Mari Kyomo]

Gold Hearted Bunny

Don't Forget to Love


I think you should keep the pill, sweetie
♡

If you go off it, your anxiety just might shift to constant worries of "what if" whenever you and your fiance do anything.

Have you talked to your partner about everything though? I know love can cure most things..
But there are some foods that can reduce the risk of blood clotting, unless you're worried about blood thinning.

I hope any of this helps. I think you're doing well by walking everyday and getting some exercise. It's very good for your body.

btw did you hear those guys last night? x . x They were super loud and by the park I think

I'll Always be Your Vanilla

I've talked about my partner about this so much he's pretty sick of hearing it. xD He does put up with me though, and sometimes he'll walk to my house at 1am to be with me if I'm panicking.

What guys? I had some shitty sleep last night so I was pretty dead, lol. The park I live next to is Clark creek park, is that the same for you? xD

[Gold Hearted Bunny]

Mari Kyomo

Don't Forget to Love


Aww. It's wonderful how he's there for you, though.
What does he think about the pill?
I mean, my partner is always having the right solution and he cares and knows me better than myself sometimes.

I live on top of the hill past the park. And these guys were yelling at like 1am and arguing/fighting it sounded like. I'm sure someone called on them

I'll Always be Your Vanilla

[Luna Legend]

I also have very severe health anxiety, and I know exactly the type of fear you're describing. If I were in your situation, I would just stop taking the medication. I think that's the only way that you're truly going to get relief from these worries.

[Mari Kyomo]

Gold Hearted Bunny

Mari Kyomo

Don't Forget to Love


Aww. It's wonderful how he's there for you, though.
What does he think about the pill?
I mean, my partner is always having the right solution and he cares and knows me better than myself sometimes.

I live on top of the hill past the park. And these guys were yelling at like 1am and arguing/fighting it sounded like. I'm sure someone called on them

I'll Always be Your Vanilla

He told me that he would support me whatever my decision is with the pill.

Holy crap you live that close? you should send me your address and we need to hang out more, like seriously.

[[S]ilver[R]ose]

Mari Kyomo

When I read this I laughed a little because I was in a similar boat not that long ago. I started taking birth control May of 2013 purely because I have a hormone imbalance. Before then I was constantly worried about getting pregnant, pains in my back, feet and I would drive myself nuts looking up symptoms and even after when I read that my birth control could cause cancer I freaked out, but after about 6 months of taking the birth control my hormones balanced out and I found myself not worrying so much about my health. I figured I go to the doctor regularly and they run tests regularly if something happens they'll catch. I'm convinced it has to do with my hormones balancing out because I became a completely different person. I know it is easier said than done, but try to relax and trust your body to tell you when something is wrong. If you keep worrying about it you could end up making yourself ill.

[Gold Hearted Bunny]

Mari Kyomo

He told me that he would support me whatever my decision is with the pill.

Holy crap you live that close? you should send me your address and we need to hang out more, like seriously.

Don't Forget to Love


Aww, what a nice fiance ♡
On the other hand, that means you have to make a decision on your own. :c I think if you are doing those kinds of things with your partner, it's better to have some solid protection.

If you haven't had blood clot history in your past, and your doctor has given the okay on this pill, then you shouldn't encounter any problems. heart even if you do have blood clot problems the pill isn't guaranteed to make it worst, so you're even safer without any of that.

I went to your house last Halloween actually! I talked to your sister on the front porch.
I'm available mostly on weekend nights! Because helping family build a room and things :3

I'll Always be Your Vanilla

[Tuah]

Every time I've had anxiety it's was due to dehydration. Yours may not be the same, but a little extra water during the day couldn't hurt.

Also, those clotting effects are pretty much just for the small percentage of people who already have clotting problems to begin with. I've been taking a lot more estrogen than you for the past two years and I've been fine.

[Absolute_Zero-460]

I don't think just getting off the pill will help. Do you get paranoid if you take aspirin or some type of over the counter meds? You have to learn to accept different sensations in the body without fear or concern being your first reaction. (easier said than done) If you have a headache is doesn't mean you have a blood clot in your brain of if you feel dizzy or lightheaded it doesn't mean you have low blood pressure or anemia. You need to not have snap judgements when sensations that are 'threatening' occur like if your leg tingles, your leg is prob asleep w/e. The more you make these associations in your mind the more you are teaching yourself to be hyper aware and fear normal sensations which the anxiety exacerbates.

[Absolute_Zero-460]

Also DONT READ SIDE EFFECTS anymore. They will only make it harder to stop obsessing.

[Mari Kyomo]

Absolute_Zero-460

Also DONT READ SIDE EFFECTS anymore. They will only make it harder to stop obsessing.

I try not to. Dx