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[Silentmarie]

My bf's dad's side of the family is having a family dinner in about 2 hours so I have about an hour and a half to decide to go or not.

We have been dating for over 3 years and are 19 and 20 years of age. My bf's mom casually mentioned the family dinner thing while I was over at his house and eating dinner a few days ago. His parents are separated and he lives with his mom, not his dad.

I mentioned kinda wanting to go because I've never met anyone on that side of the family, even though we've been dating for 3 years.

Well, at first my bf said no, because it'll be really boring he said. Then I guess he changed his mind and asked his dad if I could go, to which his dad indirectly said no. I guess my bf asked again, since it was an indirect no (something along the lines of "Well, so many other people will be going, so..." ) and just a few minutes ago his dad said "I guess so. I was worried about table space at the restaurant, but turns out grandma and grandpa got a really, really big table."

Is it okay for me to go? I'm considering not going because I don't want to show up unwelcome. My mom seems to think it might be a little rude of them to NOT invite me since we've been dating for so long. People's bfs/gfs are always welcome at our family functions, since it's a chance for them to meet the family.

Edit: Oh, and, his dad has never said it directly, but I kinda get the feeling he might not like me all that much. I'm not the perfect, blond cheerleader he thinks his sons should have. That's also the reason my bfs parents are split - his dad was cheating on his mom with a younger, thinner woman.


Edit: I went and it was great! I talked to a lot of people who were really nice and had great food and ice cream. His dad really was just concerned about the number of seats!

[legnanellaf5]

You already invited yourself so its too late to be asking if it is okay or not...

However you do need to stop comparing, just because your family does x, doesnt mean their family does x. It wasnt rude for you to not be invited, if anything you trying to invite yourself was the rude thing, but you are the one who is putting ALL these assumptions onto this s**t. Not being invited doesnt mean you are hated. In the scheme of things, you started dating at 16/17 and so it isnt considered that long since you arent really serious. If you were on your own and living together, sure it would be rude to not invite you, but that isnt your situation.

[freelance lover]

I mean, if you guys plan on staying together you're going to have to meet eventually. Now seems as good a time as any, and since it sounds like there will be plenty of other people, hopefully focus won't be on you too much. If you're invited and it's fine, just go and put on a good face. Don't worry about if they like you or not. If you feel uncomfortable, just find another time to meet. Really, you partner should arrange it. I know after my partner and I had been together around 8 months he told his parents he'd been seeing someone and wanted them to meet me.

[vdszbz]

I would just go. He probably didn't want you to go at first because he didn't think there would be enough room, but now he realized there is. If he doesn't like you, then oh well. At least you showed up and tried to talk to them. If it goes horribly, just forget trying to do things with them.

[PookySocks]

Go. Unless your boyfriend has brought great dishonor to the family, I'm sure people there will be happy to meet you. :3

[Craven Sapphire]

Go.
You're now officially invited and I think it'd make things all the more awkward if, after all of that, you decided not to show up.
Next time wait for his family to initiate things until you two are living on your own.

[!d!ot Amer!ca]

Just go.
As Angel said previously, you've already invited yourself.
It'd be rude to not go at this point.

[Psykeiri]

at this point, i'd just go.
use the experience to determine if you'll ever want to go again.. heh.
good luck!