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Closed, forget it.

Thanks to Like A Beast Boy for trying, but it wasn't enough to keep me here, unfortunately.
Gar_Logan BeastBoy's avatar

Hilarious Genius

Honestly, those guys who turned you down dont deserve you. You deserve a guy who will love you matter what. I, for one, don't mind about your weight. you'e a human being, and that's what counts. smile As for depression, I've been through a lot of relationship problems and depression to the point where I was on top of my school building and ready to take my own life, but I was stopped by my best friend and a girl, whom I've sercretly had a crush on since 4th grade. Now, I listen to music to let go of the past issues and depression.
Like A Beast Boy
Honestly, those guys who turned you down dont deserve you. You deserve a guy who will love you matter what. I, for one, don't mind about your weight. you'e a human being, and that's what counts. smile As for depression, I've been through a lot of relationship problems and depression to the point where I was on top of my school building and ready to take my own life, but I was stopped by my best friend and a girl, whom I've sercretly had a crush on since 4th grade. Now, I listen to music to let go of the past issues and depression.


You're lucky you had friends to stop you. If I tried to kill myself there's not one person who would actually try to stop me. No one cares enough to do that for me.
BugnessMonster's avatar

Conservative Browser

First of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through all of that. I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't always help people, but I am. You don't deserve what you're going through.
Those guys don't deserve you either, as the other guy on here said. You deserve someone that is going to love you for who you are. The right person will see past your disability if they are the right one for you.
It really sucks with the friends having relationships and you don't thing, I understand. I had a best friend(no longer though) who would get boyfriend after boyfriend, guys tripping over themselves to get to her. Yet no one was like that for me. But that's apparently because I have an angry expression to my face without even realizing it and I'm pretty high strung and on edge a lot around people. Though I have a hard time communicating with people and I often choose to avoid people in public that I don't know, it still hurts that guys would always be checking her out and not me. I know though, that it doesn't mean that I'm being completely ignored. There ARE guys out there who look at me, and you too. There are guys who have probably looked at you and thought "wow. She's really pretty." Because I know I have seen women who are over weight and they are still gorgeous.
With the depression that's coming from all of that and your disability, I also understand. I personally don't have a disability like your own, but I have something bodily wrong that no doctor can seem to name. I have a lot of body problems ranging from head aches, stomach aches, neck aches, back aches, fatigue, etc. I've had a ton of tests and everything comes out negative. My primary doctor ended up sending me to the mental health community because they couldn't seem to find anything so they think something is wrong with my head.
After a while, the stomach aches got so bad I had weight problems also. Except it was the opposite of yours. I lost almost 15 pounds in two months. I'm already extremely tiny and it caused drastic changes. I went from 95 pounds to almost 80. I looked disgusting. It wasn't even normal anorexia because I absolutely LOVE eating. I just couldn't because I felt like I had a huge lead weight everytime something went into my stomach. Or that I needed to puke it up but I couldn't. So if it makes you feels any better, it's better to be over weight then to be too skinny. Some guys like more weight on girls.
And about the writing, just write! Seriously! I love writing myself even though it's not always perfect. I found that I'm best at short stories or one-shots. You know what I do? I post them on fanfiction. My family and friend tell me that I'm a great writer but it still feels kind of biased. So I posted a one-shot that I worked very hard on on fanfiction. The fact that within one day I had 4 good reviews and it was seen in over 35 different countries, made me feel amazing.
I hope this helped. I don't know if you're someone that feels better when you have someone that relates their own experiences. But pretty much, don't give up. Stay positive through these trials in life. And there IS someone out there who would care if you were gone.
BugnessMonster
First of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through all of that. I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't always help people, but I am. You don't deserve what you're going through.
Those guys don't deserve you either, as the other guy on here said. You deserve someone that is going to love you for who you are. The right person will see past your disability if they are the right one for you.
It really sucks with the friends having relationships and you don't thing, I understand. I had a best friend(no longer though) who would get boyfriend after boyfriend, guys tripping over themselves to get to her. Yet no one was like that for me. But that's apparently because I have an angry expression to my face without even realizing it and I'm pretty high strung and on edge a lot around people. Though I have a hard time communicating with people and I often choose to avoid people in public that I don't know, it still hurts that guys would always be checking her out and not me. I know though, that it doesn't mean that I'm being completely ignored. There ARE guys out there who look at me, and you too. There are guys who have probably looked at you and thought "wow. She's really pretty." Because I know I have seen women who are over weight and they are still gorgeous.
With the depression that's coming from all of that and your disability, I also understand. I personally don't have a disability like your own, but I have something bodily wrong that no doctor can seem to name. I have a lot of body problems ranging from head aches, stomach aches, neck aches, back aches, fatigue, etc. I've had a ton of tests and everything comes out negative. My primary doctor ended up sending me to the mental health community because they couldn't seem to find anything so they think something is wrong with my head.
After a while, the stomach aches got so bad I had weight problems also. Except it was the opposite of yours. I lost almost 15 pounds in two months. I'm already extremely tiny and it caused drastic changes. I went from 95 pounds to almost 80. I looked disgusting. It wasn't even normal anorexia because I absolutely LOVE eating. I just couldn't because I felt like I had a huge lead weight everytime something went into my stomach. Or that I needed to puke it up but I couldn't. So if it makes you feels any better, it's better to be over weight then to be too skinny. Some guys like more weight on girls.
And about the writing, just write! Seriously! I love writing myself even though it's not always perfect. I found that I'm best at short stories or one-shots. You know what I do? I post them on fanfiction. My family and friend tell me that I'm a great writer but it still feels kind of biased. So I posted a one-shot that I worked very hard on on fanfiction. The fact that within one day I had 4 good reviews and it was seen in over 35 different countries, made me feel amazing.
I hope this helped. I don't know if you're someone that feels better when you have someone that relates their own experiences. But pretty much, don't give up. Stay positive through these trials in life. And there IS someone out there who would care if you were gone.

Thanks for the response. It did help a bit.
BugnessMonster's avatar

Conservative Browser

xDark_Realityx
BugnessMonster
First of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through all of that. I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't always help people, but I am. You don't deserve what you're going through.
Those guys don't deserve you either, as the other guy on here said. You deserve someone that is going to love you for who you are. The right person will see past your disability if they are the right one for you.
It really sucks with the friends having relationships and you don't thing, I understand. I had a best friend(no longer though) who would get boyfriend after boyfriend, guys tripping over themselves to get to her. Yet no one was like that for me. But that's apparently because I have an angry expression to my face without even realizing it and I'm pretty high strung and on edge a lot around people. Though I have a hard time communicating with people and I often choose to avoid people in public that I don't know, it still hurts that guys would always be checking her out and not me. I know though, that it doesn't mean that I'm being completely ignored. There ARE guys out there who look at me, and you too. There are guys who have probably looked at you and thought "wow. She's really pretty." Because I know I have seen women who are over weight and they are still gorgeous.
With the depression that's coming from all of that and your disability, I also understand. I personally don't have a disability like your own, but I have something bodily wrong that no doctor can seem to name. I have a lot of body problems ranging from head aches, stomach aches, neck aches, back aches, fatigue, etc. I've had a ton of tests and everything comes out negative. My primary doctor ended up sending me to the mental health community because they couldn't seem to find anything so they think something is wrong with my head.
After a while, the stomach aches got so bad I had weight problems also. Except it was the opposite of yours. I lost almost 15 pounds in two months. I'm already extremely tiny and it caused drastic changes. I went from 95 pounds to almost 80. I looked disgusting. It wasn't even normal anorexia because I absolutely LOVE eating. I just couldn't because I felt like I had a huge lead weight everytime something went into my stomach. Or that I needed to puke it up but I couldn't. So if it makes you feels any better, it's better to be over weight then to be too skinny. Some guys like more weight on girls.
And about the writing, just write! Seriously! I love writing myself even though it's not always perfect. I found that I'm best at short stories or one-shots. You know what I do? I post them on fanfiction. My family and friend tell me that I'm a great writer but it still feels kind of biased. So I posted a one-shot that I worked very hard on on fanfiction. The fact that within one day I had 4 good reviews and it was seen in over 35 different countries, made me feel amazing.
I hope this helped. I don't know if you're someone that feels better when you have someone that relates their own experiences. But pretty much, don't give up. Stay positive through these trials in life. And there IS someone out there who would care if you were gone.

Thanks for the response. It did help a bit.

You're welcome (:
And I don't think I said in my post, but I'm still battling the weight problem. I'm 87 pounds right now. But I just keep my head as high as possible and put a positive attitude in place. And this is coming from someone who is normally pretty negative.
Please please, don't ever succumb to those negative urges. It's a selfish act. It really is. I know people on gaia can't completely help you with your problems, just the few that answer can give advice and relate, but just find something that helps you get through it. Heck, when I feel horrible enough when those thoughts emerge, I go to sleep! It's not always the best tactic, but it's still straying away from that horrible way of thinking. I'll wake up and feel the sense of hope again that I lost in that momentary feeling of hopelessness.

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