Breaking Up

[ForeverMace]

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost ten moths now and I have enjoyed every minute of it. My mother found out approximately six months ago and forbid me to see her or have any contact with her whatsoever.So far, we have kept it up and we talk almost everyday and she even agreed towait until I turn eighteen so that we can be together again. But lately, I have just been feeling so shady about sneaking around with her and I dont know. When we got together we were both in pretty bad places but as our relationship has progressed I have gotten better and she has not. She dwells on being damaged and I cant handle it anymore. But God, I love her. I really do. She tells me everyday that I should leave her and even went so far as to say that she wished that I would.
I wrote her a letter explaining things but I dont know what to do. I love her but I cant be with her right now and this is killing me. Im afraid that if I break things off with her that she will do something drastic..

[legnanellaf5]

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

[AnonymousInsaneInsomniac]

I'm sorry. I really don't know anything about break ups, but I DO know about depression and being "damaged." My advice is that, if you do break up with her, be sure to continue to support her, and maybe talk to her about getting some help. That is, if it's not too emotionally difficult for you. But don't just break it off and leave her to her own devices, because that certainly won't help her recover from whatever happened to her in the past.
If you think she may be suicidal, or liable to harm herself, please tell some one and get her help! She might be angry at first, but she will thank you in the long run!

[ForeverMace]

legnanellaf5

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

How does one do that gently though?

[legnanellaf5]

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

How does one do that gently though?

There is no nice way to end a relatinship. THe best you can do is to be person (letter isnt as personal as talking to her), be honest and be firm. Dont do any of the lets be friends, maybe in the future...kind of false hope things. That just makes the person think there is a chance. Dont go back on your word too, you have to be the one to make sure it is ended.

[ForeverMace]

legnanellaf5

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

How does one do that gently though?

There is no nice way to end a relatinship. The best you can do is to be person (letter isnt as personal as talking to her), be honest and be firm. Dont do any of the lets be friends, maybe in the future...kind of false hope things. That just makes the person think there is a chance. Dont go back on your word too, you have to be the one to make sure it is ended.

I know that, but I feel like if I see her again that I will crumble and not do it because she will cry and it will make me feel more terrible than I already do.

[ForeverMace]

AnonymousInsaneInsomniac

I'm sorry. I really don't know anything about break ups, but I DO know about depression and being "damaged." My advice is that, if you do break up with her, be sure to continue to support her, and maybe talk to her about getting some help. That is, if it's not too emotionally difficult for you. But don't just break it off and leave her to her own devices, because that certainly won't help her recover from whatever happened to her in the past.
If you think she may be suicidal, or liable to harm herself, please tell some one and get her help! She might be angry at first, but she will thank you in the long run!

I dont know if I could handle that though.. The whole point of me wanting to do this is so that she wont use me as a crutch anymore.

[legnanellaf5]

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

How does one do that gently though?

There is no nice way to end a relatinship. The best you can do is to be person (letter isnt as personal as talking to her), be honest and be firm. Dont do any of the lets be friends, maybe in the future...kind of false hope things. That just makes the person think there is a chance. Dont go back on your word too, you have to be the one to make sure it is ended.

I know that, but I feel like if I see her again that I will crumble and not do it because she will cry and it will make me feel more terrible than I already do.

Yes she will cry, but she will cry no matter what you do. Since you already are in a relationship, you have to take responsibility OF being in one, which does include dealing with a break up. So, man the ******** up and stop avoiding things. At least face to face is nicer than a cold online response or something else.

[ForeverMace]

legnanellaf5

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

ForeverMace

legnanellaf5

Never stay in a relationship becuse you think the person will do something 'bad'. That isnt a reason to stay and your feelings wont change. While you do love her, if you cant handle how she is, the best option is to end it, especially since you cant even be out as a couple. Turning 18 wouldnt have changed that because most people dont move out by that age anyways, and being an adult means little when you are still being paid for by your parent. If she had a place for you to go to, even still that isnt a smart decision for you to do freshly out of highschool with no experience in doing anything..so it would take longer than your 18th bday.

If it is done it is done, dont prolong the suffering.

How does one do that gently though?

There is no nice way to end a relatinship. The best you can do is to be person (letter isnt as personal as talking to her), be honest and be firm. Dont do any of the lets be friends, maybe in the future...kind of false hope things. That just makes the person think there is a chance. Dont go back on your word too, you have to be the one to make sure it is ended.

I know that, but I feel like if I see her again that I will crumble and not do it because she will cry and it will make me feel more terrible than I already do.

Yes she will cry, but she will cry no matter what you do. Since you already are in a relationship, you have to take responsibility OF being in one, which does include dealing with a break up. So, man the ******** up and stop avoiding things. At least face to face is nicer than a cold online response or something else.

Point noted.
Thanks man~

[AnonymousInsaneInsomniac]

ForeverMace

AnonymousInsaneInsomniac

I'm sorry. I really don't know anything about break ups, but I DO know about depression and being "damaged." My advice is that, if you do break up with her, be sure to continue to support her, and maybe talk to her about getting some help. That is, if it's not too emotionally difficult for you. But don't just break it off and leave her to her own devices, because that certainly won't help her recover from whatever happened to her in the past.
If you think she may be suicidal, or liable to harm herself, please tell some one and get her help! She might be angry at first, but she will thank you in the long run!

I dont know if I could handle that though.. The whole point of me wanting to do this is so that she wont use me as a crutch anymore.

Then there really isn't much you can do. She won't get better until she's willing to get better, as odd as that sounds. You can try to nudge her in the right direction, but in the end it's her own decision.

[sirensongg16]

just a little something to cheer yuh up yum_puddi
okay so me and my ex where together for 7 months
and i wus so pissed because he cheated on me
so when i broke up with i got down on one knee
held his hands in mine
and said ik its been a long time now
but its time to let go
after that i pulled him in for a hug
and whispered in his ear
"******** yuh" very softly
it couldnt have been done any other way
anyways if yuh break up with her yuh probably shouldnt do it like me cx
sooooo goodluck emotion_bigheart