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Duckling Teeth's avatar

Dapper Ladykiller

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First of all, do what /you/ want. If you want to start changing your wardrobe into something more feminine and adult woman-looking, that's up to you. Tons of people are happy and attractive wearing comfortable things all the time. You don't /have/ to wear dresses and short skirts unless you want to.

This is a sort of frustrating situation because your boyfriend really should not be proposing this as "the way you dress is unattractive--please start showing more boob". It'd be different if he suggested it in a more positive way like "hey, we're both growing up a little, would you mind if I helped you pick out some fashionable ladylike dresses sometime?"

One the one hand, it's really rude and inconsiderate for your boyfriend to talk to you that way and suggest that unless you dress slutty, you're unattractive. On the other hand, updating your wardrobe could be fun and empowering for you.

There's nothing wrong with him proposing that you might look nice in a short black skirt, but the problem comes when he makes you feel bad and unattractive for not wearing a short black skirt.
Maiden of Monstrosities's avatar

Dedicated Seeker

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Does he mean in the bedroom or out of it, regarding the 'slutty' clothing? Because there is a difference.
Kaori242's avatar

Gracious Humorist

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Agent Thrax
Just, ******** it, everyone should just die alone
then I won't have to hear about all these relationship issues all day
You don't have to click if you don't want to hear it smile
Agent Thrax's avatar

Smoker

Kaori242
Agent Thrax
Just, ******** it, everyone should just die alone
then I won't have to hear about all these relationship issues all day
You don't have to click if you don't want to hear it smile

Nah, it's just I'm tired of this s**t even existing

I mean if you're just gonna be unhappy anyway you may as well be by yourself
that way at least we'd have something in common, haha
E L l S l U M's avatar

Quotable Ladykiller

Well we had a discussion, and I misunderstood him as he had good intentions but had a hard time getting his point across in the right way (which I believe, if you knew him you'd understand). As others have pointed out, he did in fact just spice up my wardrobe a little (I feel like I need to point out obviously, that I LOVED his style suggestions) and his "slutty" is really not that slutty at all. I've had more hand-me-downs in my life than shopping sprees, so we did buy new clothes and he pointed out he just wanted me to dress up more for him. Which I'm fine with, and he reassured me and apologized that I am attractive he just meant what he'd like to see me more in is the clothes I currently have that he finds attractive.
Become more attractive in your clothes or risking him leaving you for someone who will. That is the blunt truth. Appreciate he is changing to make it work with you.
Ok, let me explain. A lot of men get bored. It's natural. If you're a blonde after a while they'll want you to shake it up and go brunette. You dress innocent and he was attracted to that probably because that means you're not a hoe and therefore have a date-able personality. It's a compliment. But now he's probably a little not so much bored, but...getting used to it. He wants some spark and excitement, again natural. Maybe he wants to show you off in public and be like "this is my sexy woman, but she's mine not yours!"

My bf loved me and chose me for my personality. I've always been more of a boy and he liked that. But since the three years we've been together he's wanted new things like three-ways and me to dress slutty, toys, changes in appearance. We talk about what I'm comfortable with.

Honestly, be happy he wants you to fulfill a fantasy he has instead of him just going out and finding a new girl. He wants to shake it up, try something new, but he wants you to be the new play thing and not some random hoe. Which would be easier to just do honestly so feel glad he loves you enough to express how he feels.
E L l S l U M's avatar

Quotable Ladykiller

PKMN Breeder Mandy
Ok, let me explain. A lot of men get bored. It's natural. If you're a blonde after a while they'll want you to shake it up and go brunette. You dress innocent and he was attracted to that probably because that means you're not a hoe and therefore have a date-able personality. It's a compliment. But now he's probably a little not so much bored, but...getting used to it. He wants some spark and excitement, again natural. Maybe he wants to show you off in public and be like "this is my sexy woman, but she's mine not yours!"

My bf loved me and chose me for my personality. I've always been more of a boy and he liked that. But since the three years we've been together he's wanted new things like three-ways and me to dress slutty, toys, changes in appearance. We talk about what I'm comfortable with.

Honestly, be happy he wants you to fulfill a fantasy he has instead of him just going out and finding a new girl. He wants to shake it up, try something new, but he wants you to be the new play thing and not some random hoe. Which would be easier to just do honestly so feel glad he loves you enough to express how he feels.


3nodding
Alexander J Luthor's avatar

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What a douche. Next time you two go shopping point out all the really high-end clothes, day suits and whatnot, that you like and tell him you want him to dress like a REAL MAN all the time, and not some Abercrombie knock-off.

If he gets angry, tell him that's how you feel when he does it to you.
Mistrele 's avatar

Golden Zealot

I don't really think he's trying to hurt you. I find it's a good thing he's open about what he likes. Humans go through phases a lot. He chose you for your modesty and comfort in your own body, and now he wants to see you be more confident and strut your stuff. He must feel pretty secure in your relationship considering he's not worried about guys gawking at you! I'd have no problem if my boyfriend suggested that, because clothes don't really matter to me and it's always nice finding a new kink to tease him with. I guess that's not a mentality you can just force yourself to see with, but... yeah. It doesn't sound like he's trying to force you into anything or intends it as some kind of slight against who you are. If you're not comfortable, you should tell him you're not comfortable with that and leave it alone. If he keeps on pestering you even after telling him that, then I would have a problem.

edit But also I see you guys have worked it out already. Woot!
Either dress like a slut or dress how you want its not a big deal pick one or the other. Let your boyfriend be a controlling a** hole or have control of your life.
Rockstar Dreams's avatar

Giver

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Tsundere Succubus
Become more attractive in your clothes or risking him leaving you for someone who will. That is the blunt truth. Appreciate he is changing to make it work with you.


Pretty much this. Relationships are about compromise so if someone isn't willing to make any then maybe they shouldn't be in one or else find someone who is likes everything about them.
dragonslord8o's avatar

Profitable Businesswoman

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I wouldn't stand for it. I wouldn't change for anyone. A lot of people say the way I dress is very old fashioned. I have short skirts and some sexy boots but they are only for when I'm home alone with my husband.

He just wants me to 'dress nice'. In his eyes that means wear clothes that fit me. (nothing baggy) He says I look great in my long dresses, granny boots, kerchief etc. It really isn't about seeing skin to me. It is about how you present yourself.

I think you need to have a talk with him about what you want.
br0wneyed-babe's avatar

Mega Shopper

Wow, that's rude. Comparing you to other girls? I would have said "Okay, go date her then!"

I understand partners wanting their partner to look nice. I get it. I dislike when my boyfriend wears old shirts. He looks so much better in his nicer clothes. But unless he dresses like a bum 24/7, it really shouldn't bother me. You're allowed to wear sweatpants. You're allowed to wear what you want. You can dress up for him sometimes, but don't change who you are for him. That's really rude.

Ask him how he'd feel if you told him to dress nicer and that he dresses ugly now. Also, point out a good looking guy and say "Wow honey, why can't you dress like that?!" surely he'll never do it again after that biggrin
This guy reminds me of my first ex. My ex would always flirt and look at other girls and tried to change me. He wanted me to wear revealing s**t and grow big boobs. Idiot. I had enough, and got enough courage to finally tell him I was breaking up with him. Glad I did it.

Anyway, you should talk to him about it. Maybe you can find that he'll be understanding about it. Otherwise, dump him.

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