Being afraid to be Gay?

[Oneontaguy]

What can I do since I'm afraid to be openly gay IRL, what I mean is,at home both of my parents claim to hate gay people, my dad is always saying whenever he sees a gay person on TV or just walking down a street, he'll say that thing should be killed, or shot, and I'd ask him who and he'll say that f**, they shouldn't be allowed to walk down the street.
My mom isn't as bold as my dad but still she make comments about gays by saying things like, why don't they go and just die, she'll turn to me and say their the kind that brought Aids to america, things like that, and so, I'm scared to be openly gay, I have to hide the fact that I'm 15 yo and like guys, but don't know what to do about it, I go to an all boys Christian Academy Jr High School and kinda like this one boy heart who's in my Geometry Class but he is homophobic too, he makes nasty comments about homosexuals as well cry , so I ain't got any real friends to be open and true with, don't get me wrong I got lots of so called friends but all of them seemed to be homophobic as well evil . What to do about being my true self? emo redface crying

[kizoi]

I would say to get involved in the gay community online if you're not already. They can offer a lot of acceptance and support, and as long as you're careful, it's pretty safe. You get homophobes on the internet too, but it's easier to block them here than it is in real life!

Other than that, start planning for a future where you can be out. How about colleges? What would you like to study? What gay friendly schools and cities might be a good fit? What scholarships might help you cover costs? Can you work in the meantime to help save up?

If you're in the U.S., you should be eligible for federal loans, so you won't need to rely on your family's support for college. I know it must seem far away, but it can help to have something to look forward to. It may not be safe for you to come out right now, but you won't be stuck where you are now forever - and things can get better!

[ClassicallyYours]

kizoi

I would say to get involved in the gay community online if you're not already. They can offer a lot of acceptance and support, and as long as you're careful, it's pretty safe. You get homophobes on the internet too, but it's easier to block them here than it is in real life!

Other than that, start planning for a future where you can be out. How about colleges? What would you like to study? What gay friendly schools and cities might be a good fit? What scholarships might help you cover costs? Can you work in the meantime to help save up?

If you're in the U.S., you should be eligible for federal loans, so you won't need to rely on your family's support for college. I know it must seem far away, but it can help to have something to look forward to. It may not be safe for you to come out right now, but you won't be stuck where you are now forever - and things can get better!

♥

^^^This.^^^
It's tough to live in a homophobic household when you feel so strongly about your identity. But if it's not safe to come out, it's not safe to come out. Don't jeopardize your safety, unless you feel that coming out is absolutely necessary to your emotional and mental wellbeing. Get involved online. Tumblr (for all of the s**t it gets) has a strong LGBTQ community which is very welcoming. I'm sure Gaia has some circles as well. But yeah, plan on going to a college that has a gay-straight alliance and that's known for being LGBTQ-friendly. It's a long term plan, sure, but it's probably the best you can do right now. Stay safe, and I hope things get better. emotion_hug

♥

[Aggressive_Stripper]

If your parents are homophobic do NOT come as gay to them. Please think of your safety. Wait until you have somewhere safe you can go/live. I know that seems a bit backwards in this day and age to say "don't come out" but honestly, if it concerns your safety (and from the remarks your parents have made I feel it does) please be careful and keep yourself low for the moment.
I understand the struggle of keeping something like this hidden and especially at an age where you're coming into puberty, which makes things quite a bit harder to control. Maybe try being active in online lgbtqa communities and such. I would say look into a group at school or in the area you live but that could also come with the risk of your parents finding out through word of mouth..
Honestly the best advice I can give is to accept yourself but do so wisely and if that means staying in the closet for a few years well, sorry buddy and good luck.
Keep safe and stay strong man.

[vdszbz]

That's horrible sad the only advice I have for you is just hide who you are from your parents and schoolmates until you're of college age and can dorm and then be yourself at college.

I agree with getting involved with the LGBT community online. Maybe even check out some resources in your own community.

[Blackrose_The_Knight]

I am sorry you had to learn early some people are so bankrupt in morals they can't love their own kids. It breaks my heart this is happening to you.

DO NOT come out to your folks until you are out of the house, and not dependent on them financially. When you do come out, be prepared to disown your parents before they disown you.

It Get's Better hun. It really does. Work hard, get good grades, and get out safe to college. You can do it. I know you can.

[Kumacchiato]

Get some counseling to help you get over this fear and accept yourself.
Get your life in order for when your out of highschool.
Dont tell your parents till you can support yourself to keep your life less stressful. It may suck, but its better than being kicked out and all before your ready.
You gotta Learn that not everyone is going to be okay with you being gay. And thats just how they are, you can either accept that fact and stay friends or find new ones. Just dont blame/ hate other people for not accepting you. Its no fun, but its going to happen.

The way i see it, if you still so scared to admit it to anyone you call friend or family then you just arent ready yet to be publicly gay. Build up that confidence... Theres nothing wrong with any part of who you are. 3nodding <3