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f a u x c a l o i d
I've tried to tell him to stop playing video games so much and spend some time with me, but now it's gotten to a point where it's hard to even get him to put it down for five seconds and talk to me, and sometimes the only way I can get him to talk to me is if I message him on the game he's playing or on skype even though he's right down stairs...

What do I do? I am so sick and tired of him mooching off me and my parents, not appreciating anything I do, and ignoring me when he plays his games (which is all the time)... I've talked to him about it over and over but he never changes it.



move on sweetie...he is not going to stop anytime soon....you know there is someone else out there that will be right for you.....kick him to the curb

gramps
f a u x c a l o i d's avatar

Precious Sweetheart

Okay everyone. Thank you for all your replies, it seems pretty unanimous that theres no way I can change him....


but all of you are like "dump him" "cut him loose" ect. ect.... We've been together 8 years, more on than off. We were high school sweet hearts, we are 23 now. It's not as simple as "Well, good bye,". I don't even know where to begin in breaking up with him this time, because I know this would be the last..
f a u x c a l o i d
I don't even know where to begin in breaking up with him this time, because I know this would be the last.


You dump him like you would anyone else.
There is no other way to say it.

You simply speak to him in person; and dump him.

"I have tried to fix our relationship for several years now. You do not want to change. You have no interets in changing. I'm more important than a video game. I have more self respect than this. So I am dumping you. Finding someone who wont take me for granted for eight years. I'm sorry. Good bye."

If you don't live together and no kids involved it is that simple.

Problem is it sounds like you don't want better for yourself. You sound like you want to stay with him. He has not respected you in eight years, he doesn't deserve anything from you. You shouldn't even needed to explain it is obvious why.
f a u x c a l o i d's avatar

Precious Sweetheart

Kanto-chan
f a u x c a l o i d
I don't even know where to begin in breaking up with him this time, because I know this would be the last.


You dump him like you would anyone else.
There is no other way to say it.

You simply speak to him in person; and dump him.

"I have tried to fix our relationship for several years now. You do not want to change. You have no interets in changing. I'm more important than a video game. I have more self respect than this. So I am dumping you. Finding someone who wont take me for granted for eight years. I'm sorry. Good bye."

If you don't live together and no kids involved it is that simple.

Problem is it sounds like you don't want better for yourself. You sound like you want to stay with him. He has not respected you in eight years, he doesn't deserve anything from you. You shouldn't even needed to explain it is obvious why.
No, I do want to better myself.

We do live together. He has no where to go. He doesn't have a vehicle, and honestly I mean it's not like I don't love him and I can't just say "Hey, we're breaking up, gtfo" because I know he literally has no where to go. No cell phone to call some one, doesn't even have a number for his dad and his mom is a piece of s**t.

So I guess I should have worded the question; How can I break up with him without him wanting to leave and be on the streets? Because I care about him and all but the last time we broke up he just up and left that same night, even with having no where to go, and house-hopped for a while. I felt terrible.
fubenkunai's avatar

Dangerous Conversationalist

f a u x c a l o i d
Okay everyone. Thank you for all your replies, it seems pretty unanimous that theres no way I can change him....


but all of you are like "dump him" "cut him loose" ect. ect.... We've been together 8 years, more on than off. We were high school sweet hearts, we are 23 now. It's not as simple as "Well, good bye,". I don't even know where to begin in breaking up with him this time, because I know this would be the last..

Well, it starts with, "This is over. I don't want to be with you anymore." You can say why if you want, but keep it short-- like one or two sentences-- and do not start a conversation over it. It sounds like he is living in your parents' house or your house rent-free, so the next step is a deadline by which he needs to be out. If your parents own the place, talk to them to work out a mutually agreeable timetable you will all enforce. You can be generous if you want, but a deadline needs to be set and he and his s**t need to be out by it-- or else it all winds up out on the curb. Then, after that, you get him off all your messaging sites, and your phone, or whatever else, because you need to not be in touch with him for a while. That's not going to be healthy, okay, still messaging him all the time, so don't do it-- and don't read or listen to anything he sends you!

I know it's eight years, but he has been telling you for at least some of those years how little he cares. He likes the perks, he likes the attention when he needs it, and he likes that you make zero requests of him. He doesn't like you, personally, or else he wouldn't be such an ungrateful slob. He wouldn't have put you in this position where you are unhappy and worn out from supporting him. He wouldn't disrespect and use your parents. If he liked you and gave half a s**t about your relationship, none of this stuff would be happening. He has told you where you stand. This is just a matter of acknowledging that and letting go so you can get on with your life.
f a u x c a l o i d


None of that is your problem. I'm sorry I'm going to be really honest.
He lives with you, takes you for granted, uses your money, offers nothing to you.
You dump him. If you want to find yourself a better guy; you dump him.
No one can do it or say it for you.
He took you for granted for eight years; winding up on the street is not your fault.
Sounds like he uses that to his own advantage.
You dump him, he storms off onto the streets.
He is immature, has no respect for you and knows you will always take him back.
Because he knows he can manipulate you, because you are his door mat.
You need to wake up.
He knows he has nowhere to go, he knows he can tug your heart to take him back and he knows you will mother him until you die. Because if you don't dump him and kick him out that is the cycle.
Besides he ruined his own life the past eight years.
He wont ever change, he isn't a good partner, not a good friend and is happy to ruin his life.
If it isn't you he'll find another person to mother him and pull on their heart string.
That is emotional abuse.

You owe him nothing.
Explain why you're dumping him, then dump him. He storms off like the child he is. He lives his life and you live yours. Uness you want a miserable life with him.

Come on! There is very likely a good person waiting for somewhere in the future and you're dating someone on/off for eight years that sounds more immature than my father in laws seven year old! And no I'm not exaggerating.

No one can tell you how to dump him without him storming off. He will storm off either way. And you need to decide if you're willing to dump him and if you're willing to let him live his own life, where he has to choose to stand on his own two feet and sort out his life or live in the gutter.

My fiance aged 18 had to move out of his mothers with nowhere to live because she was abusive. He found a shelter for heavens sake. Got a job and his own place. This is absolutely vile! If my fiance at the age of eighteen could be on the streets and pull himself through I'm sure your boyfriend can do.

It baffles me. This is /all/ his fault. Not yours. Dump him and then let him sink or swim. That is the real world. You're not his mother. He has to fend for himself. If you're not a 100% comitted to this decision he will be living with you again in a week and then soon 50 years of this will fly by.

I honestly can not see the problem? He's a child needing a wake up call.
f a u x c a l o i d
Okay everyone. Thank you for all your replies, it seems pretty unanimous that theres no way I can change him....


but all of you are like "dump him" "cut him loose" ect. ect.... We've been together 8 years, more on than off. We were high school sweet hearts, we are 23 now. It's not as simple as "Well, good bye,". I don't even know where to begin in breaking up with him this time, because I know this would be the last..
sit him down...and talk to him.

Tell him EVERYTHING. Don't listen to his sob stories, his fits..none of it. Tell him you want to go somewhere in life and you never will if you are supporting the two of you....then, call into work...show up at your best friends house..and eat the s**t out of some ice cream and candy.
I love you, do what is best for YOU now...stop trying to protect him and baby him, he doesn't deserve it.

I have been telling you for a while to leave him, and now you are seeing that everyone..people from the outside agree that he is NOT worth your heart ache...
HaruneRei
Dump him. Forever.


It's not that easy. Her CDs are in his truck.

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