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Robot Giny's avatar

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Most of the time dreams don't mean anything that profound.
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catruler132
To someone who is working on a psychology degree (I don't claim to be a shrink, but I have studied and have had to understand basic and intermediary psychological theories and studies), your dream sounds like repressed fears and or desires. I am not saying that you want M back, or even fantasize about him, or even think about M, however, from the behavior I have witnessed from your post, it seems almost like you are showing what is known as reaction formation. What this is, simply, is one of the 8 self defense mechanisms of the psyche. When we feel desires for something, or someone, or a deep repulsion, but the feelings prove harmful to our psyche (Our mental balance if you will) then the subconscious throws up a barrier. Reaction formation can be seen in those people who react strongly towards something, sometimes to an irrational and unhealthy extent (A preacher screaming and ranting and raving about the pure evils of a porn store, veins throbbing on his head, sweats pouring down his forehead, eyes wide, nostrils flaring, generally is given as an example of this). Now, I'm not saying this is so, however, you might have repressed fears, desires or otherwise feelings for M (Whether positive or negative) maybe you resent him, maybe you are not subconsciously satisfied with how or why the relationship ended. In either case, what -I- personally believe your dream means is that there are unresolved issues at play. Does B know about you and M? If not, perhaps you subconsciously feel that you are hiding a (retired) relationship from him? Maybe a pang of guilt? I don't claim these theories to be accurate, but if any of them seem like they might make sense, then perhaps there is more psychologically happening here than just "dreams being dreams"

I'm honestly not satisfied with the way mine and M's relationship ended. We were such good friends and we were best friends, even before we were ever together (but that was probably obvious) and it was awful to experience having one of my best friends get torn from me just cos of a stupid relationship and for his lack of effort and my changing of personality, which he never confronted me about.
I do accept it tho and we have come to our closure of our predicaments, so I am completely satisfied with the way things are and have been going. I honestly haven't had a thought of M for.. months maybe. I see him every day but I don't really acknowledge it and don't give two craps about it. He's living his life, he seems like he's happy. I'm living my life and I know that I'm happy.
Someone's other comment on this thread mentioned I could have a bunch of seperate thoughts pushed into one. The one about me maybe looking at a sled or ski (something like that).. that comment. That night I had actually been with my boyfriend and he had asked if I wanted to go sledding. Didn't go, but whatever. M was brought up at some point I think, cos I believe we were talking about his girlfriend (B's ex and this nice but fake friend I used to have. She honestly deserves better than M cos she is too good for him, but it's not really mine or B's buisness. We really don't give them too much attention. They barely even exist to us). Soo, that maybe explains the dream. B and I actually also got sexually intimate that night too.. Hmm, well we are very happy with each other and our entire relationship and we hope to be together forever <3
catruler132's avatar

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To someone who is working on a psychology degree (I don't claim to be a shrink, but I have studied and have had to understand basic and intermediary psychological theories and studies), your dream sounds like repressed fears and or desires. I am not saying that you want M back, or even fantasize about him, or even think about M, however, from the behavior I have witnessed from your post, it seems almost like you are showing what is known as reaction formation. What this is, simply, is one of the 8 self defense mechanisms of the psyche. When we feel desires for something, or someone, or a deep repulsion, but the feelings prove harmful to our psyche (Our mental balance if you will) then the subconscious throws up a barrier. Reaction formation can be seen in those people who react strongly towards something, sometimes to an irrational and unhealthy extent (A preacher screaming and ranting and raving about the pure evils of a porn store, veins throbbing on his head, sweats pouring down his forehead, eyes wide, nostrils flaring, generally is given as an example of this). Now, I'm not saying this is so, however, you might have repressed fears, desires or otherwise feelings for M (Whether positive or negative) maybe you resent him, maybe you are not subconsciously satisfied with how or why the relationship ended. In either case, what -I- personally believe your dream means is that there are unresolved issues at play. Does B know about you and M? If not, perhaps you subconsciously feel that you are hiding a (retired) relationship from him? Maybe a pang of guilt? I don't claim these theories to be accurate, but if any of them seem like they might make sense, then perhaps there is more psychologically happening here than just "dreams being dreams"
Spirit Reborn's avatar

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Dreams are usually a direct reflection of the inner feelings you feel, whether conflicting or peaceful, towards a situation, person, yourself, etc.

It's not something you should necessarily follow and rely on.
thatgreenfriend's avatar

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dreams are dreams, they have no meaning asides from subconscious thoughts and whatever meaning YOU put to them
A dream is a dream it doesn't necessarily mean anything.
Just last night I had a dream about a guy I used to be with but was never in a serious relationship, and my husband wasn't there and I kept flirting with him and trying to hook up with him (I left before it reached that point) but it was a dream. I love my husband and would never cheat on him or want someone else.
The human brain isn't necessarily wired for monogamy and as long as you aren't cheating in real life there is no reason to dwell on a dream.
You love your boyfriend and you want to be with him that's all there is to it
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Strange dreams happen. It doesn't mean anything. Don't sweat it.
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Honestly, I wouldnt read too deep into it. It might just be that you have been remembering moments with M lately. Or perhaps you fear the past with him could get in the way of your relationship with B. Dreams are mainly subconsious thoughts mashed together. It couldve just been a way your brain combined the past and present. Present being your love for B and forseeable future, and past beeing any feelings for M and the good times you had together. Even if/though you dont have any feelings for M anymore, your mind may have just replayed the past and the emotions at that time. Nothing to worry about. razz
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VanillaCupcake13

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❤✖[I can elaborate on that. Your relationship with B is the one where you have a forseeable future with, and your mind and soul has decided on that fact. However, you do not accept that the seemingly perfect relationship with M ended on such a foot, and you were having fun. Perhaps yes, on the sex part, the relationship with B is not living up to your past rendezvous with M. However that does not mean you want M. Clearly your heart and soul wants B. M will always be in the back of your mind, and you will always have those beautiful memories, even if they sting, they were still good and you acknowledge that fact. I had a dream about my Ex-Fiancee after we broke up and I was already married to another man. We will call my ex, CT and my husband VO. CT and I were talking on the phone and he asked me to come over and hang at his new apartment. I decided I would go, even though I was dating VO. I went and he was playing video games while I sat next to him on a couch. There were some friends there I did not recognize. He then started to fondle me, and from there we ended up having sex. For some odd reason, his p***s was made of macaroni..not sure what that was about, but when we were done, I got cleaned up, redressed and told him that I was going to get married, and I was no longer interested in him. I guess my brain decided I needed to experience what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot, so I would think about it later. I really did, and that was when I decided It no longer affected me what happened between me and CT. I mean, CT was wonderful, pretty, funny, and cool, but there was no forseeable future. It was all for the here and now, and not for the future and what was to come. VO and I knew instantly after being together 3 weeks we would be wed and have a family. Three years later, I am pregnant and expecting our first child in april. Maybe you just had this in the back of your mind, and you needed it to be played out so you could think about it later. Dreams can be invaluble tools sometimes! It doesn't mean anything bad, just you making the best decisions in your life, subconsiously. ]✖❤


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PhD Joey
I don't know what you're thinking, but this is what I got from your dream.
You may be annoyed with your current boyfriend about something, maybe he's not paying enough attention to you or something. You're starting to recollect the times with your ex, where he used to spend time with you.
You're missing something about M that B cannot/isn't giving you.

You may be right. I couldn't quite explain what it could be though.
I mean, everything was so perfect with M. Overly perfect and it was a fantastic relationship.
Mine and B's relationship is perfect and fantastic as well, and I don't feel as if anything's missing.
Like I said, he's the one.. but I guess it wouldn't hurt to admit that something may be missing or bothering me.. maybe sexually, which may explain why I dreamt of M. I'd have to sit down and think it through tho, cos I honestly do not know..
Thanks for your response! It helped a little bit.
I don't know what you're thinking, but this is what I got from your dream.
You may be annoyed with your current boyfriend about something, maybe he's not paying enough attention to you or something. You're starting to recollect the times with your ex, where he used to spend time with you.
You're missing something about M that B cannot/isn't giving you.
VanillaCupcake13's avatar

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I change my mind..
I'd actually like to seek out some help into understanding why I even dreamt this..
VanillaCupcake13's avatar

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No one has to reply.
I'm pretty much only venting.
VanillaCupcake13's avatar

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As far as the title goes, I guess I don't nessicarily mean a nightmare.
On the other hand, I probably do.
I don't know, it's awkward, gross, and confusing.

Let me explain first off everything.
Back about 2 years ago, I had this boyfriend. Let's call him M.
We were crazy about each other. The way we met and how we ended up together was.. interesting. Seriously. Interesting. Actually, it was like a Love-At-First-Sight kind of deal. We honestly thought we should get married one day.
By the time we had broken up, it had only been eight months that we were actually together.. It took me a long.. long time to officially get over it. I officially got over it in Februrary of last year, the very last time another friendship we tried having got ruined. A LOT happened. I could explain cos I'd feel no pain, but it's way too long of a story.. let's just say that there was a lot of emotional pain exchanged between the two of us.. this guy and I don't even talk anymore. We see each other every day and just walk by each other like we're strangers.

Currently, I have a far more of an incredible boyfriend. Let's call him B. The way he and I ended up together is quite interesting too.. again, we'd fallen in love by the time we got together (and no, I am not one of those retards who just throws the L word around like it's nothing. I really feel it). This guy is AMAZING. This guy.. he's.. definitley the one. I know he is and I know that a bunch of s**t won't ever happen between us (mostly cos it was my fault for the beginning of the crap that happened with M and I, and I make sure that I'm not making any mistakes with B).

Well, this is crazy.
I had this dream, weird dream, the other night. By the time setting in this dream, B and I were married. He was at home with our kids while I was sitting in a cabin somewhere, and I guess I decided that I wanted to go skiing for a day. Some ski instructor walked into my cabin and told me that I had to go sledding down a few hills before I was allowed to ski.. and that I had to sled down the hills with a person they choose me to sled with.. well, that person, yes, turned out to be M.
M was just sitting there and starring at me and he says "Uhm, aren't you gonna sit?". I guess I had to sit in front of him.. literally with our bodies touching >.> ick. Kind of like when you are going down a water slide with 2 people, y'know? It was awkward.. but after 5 seconds, we didn't feel weird and he was holding onto me like.. tightly and.. I don't know.
So we go down our hills, the instructors ask if we wanted to go ski yet. Nope. Then of course, the next thing that I knew, M and I were in a cabin that hasn't been rented or whatever, making out, about to have sex..
I asked him what the hell we were doing. We talked. We ended up deciding we were back together. Secretly.. and we weren't going to tell anybody and keep it to ourselves.. we ended up having sex (insert puking noise here), and that was the end of the dream..

So uhm, yeah. Im not even quite sure why in the hell I even dreamt this. All I thought when I woke up was "What.. the.. actual.. f*ck?.."
I don't know if it's supposed to mean something.. or?.. Yeah, I don't know.
I'm only posting it on here cos I just feel like I can't talk to anyone of my friends about it or B. I could talk to B, but I don't want him to feel awkward. I'm sure he feels awkward enough just knowing that M and I were sexually intimate a lot while we were together and nearly had sex..
Yeah, I'll probably tell my counsler about this, but I am unsure of what to expect her to say cos I can't even explain this dream at all.

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