ah, I'm sorry.
I'd be scared as s**t going back to work.
do you still work there?
thanks for the advice, and the response. (:
also thanks for being open with me.
I was scared as s**t razz I tried to continue working, but eventually I couldn't anymore, which was why I got meetings with a psychologist.
Discussing the event with her there was actually a fairly positive experience. It was nervous and stuff (I remember having to wait there for her to come, she didn't show up before xP) All in all it was a good experience though, I felt I had more control over the situation.
It was an industrial type work which isn't really my thing. I had a contract for 6 months that got extended a few times but that in the end wasn't. Which I was just as happy with. I started studying four years after the trauma and am still doing so smile It's going good, I'm a little behind but not more than my other classmates razz
you have been keeping busy and moving around.
but that is suppressing the problem, how long can you run ?
you take the problems with you where ever you go.
in the end you have to solve the problem.
once you turn to face the problem and solve them, the moving around keeping busy and the panic attacks themselves go away.
easy to say isn't it. hard as all to actually do it.
but for right now, when the fear rises in your belly consuming everything,
try meditation practice a little every day. it gives you a bit more control.
say positive things to yourself.
"I can control my fears."
say it over and over.
Then, do what you should do.
It is hard, and sometimes you will not be able to do it.
but every time you try, you do get a little stronger.
It takes time.
I'm very confused.
are you talking about how I move from state to state a lot?
It has nothing to do with my current mind set, I just like to travel,
and see the world. and experience life in that sense.
I don't run away, I'm facing my trauma head on.
honestly, meditation isn't my cup of tea.
that's the nicest way I can put it, without getting in a debate.
which I don't feel like.
my last therapist suggested it, too though.
and it seems to be a coping mechanism for many people with traumas.
I find it more relaxing to draw, but that doesn't always work.
the feelings get worse at night.
I don't have panic attacks all that often either,
It's just a little more intense than worrying,
but I think my medication has been working through that a bit.
anyways, thanks for the suggestion.
I might meditate on paper, and try that.
write it over and over?
my question. I've suffered with anxiety for a few years, originating from my PTSD,
and It's unbearable anymore. I've tried staying busy. school. work. the things I love.
the people I love. and I also have depression, which I'm working through. but everything gets worse.
I don't know what to do anymore.