A rumor that I was a rapist...

[The Luminosity]

Xzaro

I appreciate you being the first person to directly respond to that specific aspect of my problem. I might have developed some sort of avoidant personality to serious relationships but I don't really like to talk out my problems with therapists or psychologists anymore either. Not only because of the money cost but because they usually refer me to my psychiatrist or let them know about the session and that just gives more reason for my psychiatrist to drug me again... something I want to avoid. So yes, I might be avoidant of intimate relationships now but I'm also avoidant of trusting anyone too much and that includes therapists. I would much rather seek advice and opinions from strangers as strange as that may sound.

I understand to some extent; I to had my fair share of horrible therapists, and it just cost too much. Oddly enough, it has driven me to try to solve my own problems, and dive into countless amount of research for years. Now I enjoy psychology, and hope to become a psychologist someday.

More importantly, are these psychologist and therapists allowed to send reports to your psychiatrist? I'm not sure if the laws have changed or if the laws are different where you live, but what about patient confidentiality?

[SpunkyStrikesAgain]

Why do you care so much about what other people think? And why do you think you're supposed to be friends with everyone? There are always gonna be people who don't like you no matter what you say or do. And let them. Obviously you know the truth so that's all that matters.
When I was in high school everyone thought I was gonna shoot up the school. I went with it and people never knew if I was being serious or not. My true friends knew I was kidding and thought it was funny. People who leave you when s**t gets rough or weird were never really your friends in the first place. You don't need people like that in your life.
What I don't get is why, because of one bad incident are you depriving yourself of a new and healthy relationship? Yer gonna continue to be lonely unless you have relationships. Unless you really did do something and yer not telling us or more happened than what you're letting on.
But seriously dude, why do you still give a ******** about what happened in high school? Move on already.

[Goraxium]

Move on. I've seen all of four people I went to high school with since I left. You don't have to talk to them. You don't have to acknowledge them if you don't want to. If they were stupid enough to believe in the gossip circulating through school, without finding out the facts, then they weren't worthy of your attention then, and definitely don't deserve it now that you're better.

[Xzaro]

Your Akina

Xzaro

And I'm sorry if when I wrote this I made it sound a bit overdramatic or wordy. I'm supposed to be sleeping now and I'm just writing it as it flows out of my mind. If something doesn't make sense let me know.

You have to take charge. I would do that by making a public post somehow. Not knowing the details of your life, it's hard to give an example, but I would do it something like:

In highschool I was a jackass. I insulted people, I picked fights, and I could be very difficult to be around. As a result of this, a nasty rumor started about me. I don't know who started it and I don't know why, but it was devastating. I lost my friends, I lost my health, and I lost myself for a while. Through the support of my family, I recovered. I made new friends and began to further my education. However, every time I see one of my highschool classmates, I feel this sense of shame. Not because the rumor was true, but because I have been forever pegged in their eyes as a person that I am NOT. I was not respectful in my youth, but I would never have considered harming someone or forcing anyone into a situation where they did not give 100% consent. I am not that person, I have never been that person, I will never be that person. Still, this rumor sometimes drags me down. I just want to thank all of my friends and family for being their for me, for believing me, and for supporting me as I deal with it.

This might not be in your personality at all, but it's food for thought. I certainly wouldn't apologize for something that's not true, but you definitely need to find a way to take charge.

I would do something like that, but considering all the people who believed the rumor don't have me added or have me blocked I don't see a good reason for posting a status like this.

[Xzaro]

Zultim

Xzaro

According to one person I posted a comment that I was going to rape this lesbian I was friends with at the time and make her feel what it was to have sex with a man or something and she just happened to have deleted that comment (if it ever existed) so they are going off of things that can't even be proven to be true or not.

I would write about the world ending because the mayan apocalypse was said to be December 21st of 2012 but not in a serious way so that could have been where people got the idea that I was going to shoot people up at school.

I know for sure I had insulted people because around that time was the elections between Obama and Romney and I just wrote a bunch of s**t about both sides mostly because I liked inciting arguments and debates. I remember a large portion of my statuses at one point were about me getting angry that people thought I was a "bigot" or "homophobe" because I said I didn't care about gay rights.

I mean all in all, I do consider myself innocent but seeing things from everyone else's point of view that I was indeed writing about things that were perhaps out of character for me I can see why people felt threatened. It was wrong for them to say I was going to act out a genocide or rape but maybe they were just scared?

I take back my almost-mean post.
Alright. Those "people" you went to school with are STUPID. WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?!! Deleted? Whoops. Hahaha.

I do know what you are talking about. I have heard about the calendar. Where did the "shooting" come from? Once again. Stupid people.

Wow. I do remember that year. It was a huge thing at my school. It divided the students and everything. I guess everyone around you took it to heart and should have gotten over it. Everyone's beliefs were trampled; they should know that. My friends made fun of mine and I got over it. If I could get over something, everyone else should too!

They were not scared. From what I've read, it seems like someone was just getting back at you for not supporting their beliefs. It was probably easy to believe at first because you offended a few people. Then everyone else who must have not known you heard about it. Of course they would be "scared." Nervous, maybe. But not "scared."

Anyway, it seems like a rumor that went out of control. I would ignore them if I were you. I know I do not know what you are going through, but please try to keep going with your life. It looks like you did NOTHING wrong!!! If you fall in love with someone, remember that you are NOT a rapist.
You were accused of it! You're innocent. Don't feel guilty. You should see them and smile. They're a bunch of pendejos. I still wonder WHO was the one who started the rumor.

It's annoying how people who do wrong can live their lives peacefully. You have to live with what they did to you!!!! Angry people. That's all they will ever be.

Oh, I hope things will work out for you!!! =(

Thank you for your words and lol @pendejo. I do try to forget about it but it does seem like a major event in my life and for some people all they know me by. Even after so long every now and then something comes up that reminds me of it. Hopefully in time it will just become a distant memory not worth referencing to.

[Dickie Twinkles]

You're probably going to have to accept most of these people will never want to speak to you again.

I was kidnapped when I was 10 years old by the father of one of the kids at my school and that followed me round for life. I didn't do a single thing wrong but bc I was sent to my little sister's class after and the girl whose dad kidnapped me was still in my regular class she and her family spread loads of rumours. Even when I went to high school some of the kids from my old school went to the same one and told everyone to avoid me bc I was that weird kidnapped kid. I dunno even what the teachers at my old school told my class bc when it went to court and they were called as witnesses they lied and said they didn't see anything or that they thought I was hurt and he was helping me and that's why I was crying.

So...basically, if I can't be "forgiven" for being kidnapped then you don't have much chance of people thinking you're not a rapist. I will tell you tho that as time goes past you honestly stop giving a crap about it all. Some people suck but then you meet new ones and when/if you tell them then they act totally different bc they're adults.
I'm not even that bitter over it anymore tho sometimes I'm angry bc I have anxiety, depression, and PTSD from the incident but, yeah, I don't care what all those people thought now. They either grew up and realised what happened was horrible or they stayed immature/stupid and that's bad for them.

[little-laine]

legnanellaf5

At some point you need to like...stop caring about highschool. You dont need to make friends with those people, you dont need to tell people who dont give a ******** your side. It is over. That is just a small section of the population of the world, just cut them out of your life and stick to people you know are your friends.