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Alex_Sukehiro

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Post: 3101850_1 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:19:32 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:19:32 +0000

Okay, here's the deal, I have a friend who is and has been playing my sympathy card for ages. Howver, this friend is threatenting to run away and, though they've hurt me deeply, I'm still concerned for them. What do I do??

D-Rock

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Post: 3101850_2 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:21:01 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:21:01 +0000

I'm kinda slow, I don't understand this "sympathy card" thing. sweatdrop

Miss Kupi

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Post: 3101850_3 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:21:45 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:21:45 +0000

Talk to them about it. Tell them you care, so they don't need to be bugging you for sympathy all the time.

Daioh

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Post: 3101850_4 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:22:08 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:22:08 +0000

Why is this person running away?If it's justified talk it out with the person and others. If it's for some asinine personal gain reason talk it out but not as kindly, a proverbial slap to the face, drop 'em if they keep threatning to run away unless it's for a serious and justafiable reason.

Alex_Sukehiro

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Post: 3101850_5 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:33:24 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:33:24 +0000

They are running away because they think that no one cares. The reason they don't is because she continuously pushes EVERYONE away.

If someone is playing your sympathy card, it means you are a sympathetic person, but they take advantage of it and use it for their own gain. ^

D-Rock

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Post: 3101850_6 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:46:39 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:46:39 +0000

Alex_Sukehiro

OH. Sorry, I've just never heard that in my whole 19 years of life.

You might be spoiling her. I'd say go one on one with your friend and tell her that you ARE her friend and that she doesn't need to feed off your sympathy all the time. She might not realize that what she's doing is wrong and hurting you. If she's just being a selfish b***h, tell her that that's not right.

I agree with Daioh's approach.

Miss Kupi

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Post: 3101850_7 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:48:34 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:48:34 +0000

Just let her know that you guys do care, so she can relax, and not worry about it. Tell her that she doesn't have to try and impress you guys, you already care about her.

Alex_Sukehiro

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Post: 3101850_8 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:51:23 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:51:23 +0000

Quote:

You might be spoiling her. I'd say go one on one with your friend and tell her that you ARE her friend and that she doesn't need to feed off your sympathy all the time. She might not realize that what she's doing is wrong and hurting you. If she's just being a selfish b***h, tell her that that's not right.

I agree with Daioh's approach.

Thank you. I am tempted to say that she IS being selfish since she's just like that. I've tried to tell her I'm a firned, but she always insists that she's alone...and then complains about it. sweatdrop

Alex_Sukehiro

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Post: 3101850_9 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:52:12 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:52:12 +0000

Daioh

Thank you very much for your concern/advice. I will seriously take it to heart. Con I put ya on my friend's list??

B-shiro

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Post: 3101850_10 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:53:31 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:53:31 +0000

Alex_Sukehiro

Your friend sounds like shes attention-obsessed...she knows that she can come to you for reassurance and that you'll tell her things to boost up her selfesteem...you need to confront her about this, tell her you care about her and that you're sick of being her reassurance, turn the tables...try to get some sympathy out of her, show her what its like...she might relate better then.

She needs to learn to get personal gain through things other than sympathy, it might make her feel better, and make you feel like a better person for making her feel better...but its only temporary, it'll enventually go away and you'll be called upon once again to make her "feel better".

Well, that was rather repeatitive ne? Hope all ends well at least.

Alex_Sukehiro

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Post: 3101850_11 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:56:52 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:56:52 +0000

Quote:

Your friend sounds like shes attention-obsessed...she knows that she can come to you for reassurance and that you'll tell her things to boost up her selfesteem...[quote/]

That's EXACTLY how she is!!!!
It's very annoying.

Daioh

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Post: 3101850_12 created on Mon, 19 Jul 2004 20:01:27 +0000
Posted: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 20:01:27 +0000

I suggest you take the good advice presented here and just confront her about it. Where it goes from there is entirely up to her since it seems you have been supportive and a great friend undeserving of all this stress.