I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 19. I too felt like, "welp that's it then, alone forever"
but then I really started putting myself out there and I found an amazing girl who I'm still in
a serious relationship with today (I'm 21 now).
It's really disappointing not to meet certain personal standards by a specific age, but when
it DOES happen, you'll completely forget about all that. Standards like that are silly, because
s**t just doesn't happen or work out according to your preference. It happens when it happens.
You can go out there and try to jumpstart the boyfriend thing, but don't get obsessed with
"I'm old and blah blah" because self-pity will definitely not attract a man.
Go with the flow and don't be embarrassed by trivial things.
I know exactly how you feel.
I had my first boyfriend when I was exactly your age- a month before turning 20.
I wanted a boyfriend and kind of settled for someone I didn't exactly connect with, just because I wanted to experience it and to feel close to someone etc. and he was a really nice and funny guy, so I thought it might get better between us after some time. It ended up not working out.
The point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't feel bad about never having had a boyfriend, and that you shouldn't force yourself into it. If you want to meet people, go out to parties or get your friends to introduce you to new people, and eventually you will find someone.
Not everyone is attracted to confidence.
Whenever someone says: "Everyone finds confidence attractive" I just do not comment.
It just is not true, everyone has their own personal preferences.
If "everyone" loved confidence all of these shy people would be single and a lot are not.
Some people find confidence atractive, some find shyness.
I'd been with tons of confident guys, all turned out terrible.
I was attracted to my fiance because he was shy! Sure he spoke to me and stuff, but he was shy and it was cute and likeable. Engaged and together for almost four years and he's come out of his shell.
You don't have to change for anyone, nothing wrong with being shy and the right person will come.
I can't relate, I was always shy and I dated a lot.
My first and current serious relationship was when I was 16 I'm now nearly 20 (this month) and still with him and very happy.
Happens differently to others.
My mom didn't find the right person until recently, and she's in her 40's.
It isn't about how many relationships you have had, it is finding the right one. (:
Here are some quotes that might help make you feel better:
I think that it is only society that says that we should be doing certain things at certain ages, and in turn people feel pressured because of it. I don’t understand it.
I think that there are TON and I mean a TON of people who have never truly been on a date, never had sex, etc and are 25+ , it’s just not spoken about.
Everyone has already put in their two cents but I had to comment and say that I really appreciate this article and all these women in their 20s not being ashamed to say that they haven’t dated or been in relationships yet. I too am 22 and a virgin to the entire relationship thing. I have friends and acquaintances who are like this too. I used to think I was abnormal but it is really more common than society wants us to think. I have come to realize that some of us have dated a lot and possess more relationship experience while some haven’t. There is nothing wrong with those of us who have less experience. Whichever side any person falls on is due to any number of personal and subjective reasons.
So I am just working on improving myself, getting myself ready for that right man and staying open to meeting new people.
I can understand what your going through, I was 27 when I got my first girlfriend.
I went through counseling to figure out why I hadn’t ever had one, I thought there was something wrong with me and this is what I was told and what makes sense to me.
Every one is different, there is no age that dictates you have to have a bf/gf by a certain age, you get in a relationship when the time is right, and for what ever reason you haven’t had the moment come along yet.
That said, you probably are not ready yet. It took some major sole searching and some training to figure out how to attract women and be ready for a relationship.
If this is something you really want, commit to it, figure out what you need to do .
If your shy, read some books about how to be more out going, if your style sucks work on your fashion, if your out of shape get in shape.
But most importantly you have to understand what a relationship is and how to look at it. Getting the right mind set, not being needy (don’t call someone your dating too much or need anything enjoy what is given), create a sense of individualism, know what you want.
Once you have your life in order and your mental state down, guys will come to you. But you got to be willing to change, work, and loose your bad habits.
It's not weird. It's unique and special, in my opinion. Though, I might be biased a bit because I'm 24 and just had my first kiss a few weeks ago. I'd had guys try before but I wasn't interested until this one.
Honestly, I think it's better by far to be single than to be with a guy you're not all that interested in. I've dated guys just because they were nice and I "should" like them...but there's no faking it, at least not for long. Besides, afterwards I felt like a jerk. I didn't mean to lead them on and felt that it was adequate to tell them that I still wasn't sure about how I felt and didn't know when I would know, but I still didn't end up liking myself much for it. None of them were real "boyfriends" though--just guys I went on a few dates with.
I know of several people who didn't date until after college. More than one of them is still waiting for that first kiss, too. It's worth waiting for. Some people don't understand that, but it's true.
My closest friend made it to the age of 35 without ever having had a serious relationship. She'd never had a relationship that lasted more than six weeks, for that matter. Now, she's deeply in love and about to marry her perfect match. I'm absolutely thrilled for her!
It can happen.
There are a lot of people out there in the same situation as you, you are not "weird" at all!
I wouldn't bother with a dating site unless you are extremely careful and do not settle for someone just because you think 'someone is better than no one' - it's better to wait for the right person.
Here are the websites I got the quotes from:
Are you serious? You're 20. Just because you don't have a boyfriend yet, doesn't mean you're going to be alone for the rest of your life. You dont need a man to validate anything in your life. Rather than focusing and worrying about not having a man right now, why dont you do something useful with your life and work towards a career goal or something? Set yourself up for life by getting a degree and while you're busy striving for it, the right guy might come into your life.
Stop being such a drama queen. For all you know, a guy might actually find a shy girl attractive. So just have patience.
You're still young and have a whole future ahead of you. Just focus on getting your life straightened out with school and work.
After that you can put the effort in finding someone you click with.
You can meet guys anywhere and its a LOT easier for women to find a guy than the other way around. They aren't as picky as you think. I know a lot of people who had relationships later in age.
So don't worry so much about it. Just relax and focus on having a stable and happy life.
Love will come eventually just keep looking.
Guys don't take interest in me either, trust me! I'm pretty oblivious to emotions sometimes too, I interpret them oddly, if that makes sense. I'm usually floating around the friendzone area, haha.
My friend told me it might be because I'm intimidating, and I do get that a lot, but I'm nice and friendly; I'd like to believe. She told me she was jealous of me, and such. I didn't like the way that felt at all.
ANYWAYS, I think what I'm trying to say is you're not alone! You probably have admirers, but just haven't realized it yet, or they're scared you might reject them!
No, but you're not ready for one. Let me drop some knowledge on you: most people (all decent people) don't want someone who is going to base their whole identity and sense of self-worth around them. That's unhealthy and it's really hard for another person to handle. You need to stop defining yourself by your relationship status before you will have a shot at something healthy and mutual. You're not "Bl33ds_Blue_and_Silver, nobody's girlfriend and therefore nobody." You're "Bl33ds_Blue_and_Silver, girl who roleplays, loves anime/manga, and is clearly really into something or else why would she bleed colors." You're a whole person with interests, experiences, and traits. You need to embrace all that, wallow in it, be yourself with a vengeance. Which is actually really easy, since you're already yourself, you just need to know it.
Plenty of people in this world didn't date at all until college age, and end up totally fine and happy with someone else. I don't actually know anyone who dated a lot in high school, and I think all but one of my long-term partnered/married friends got together when they were a little older than you. This actually makes a lot of sense, because that's about when people have developed a sense of self and some life goals, and they've stopped playing those insecure adolescent games. See? Be yourself, do your thing, and things will come together better.
If I were you, I'd work on getting comfortable with myself first. Then I'd completely change how I approach dating. Don't go out on the hunt for a man. Rather, go out to get to know people, and if you end up fancying one, you can make your move. Dating's not really all that different from making friends; the more you do, the more people you talk to, the more friends you have, the more friends you'll make. Go forth and befriend. You'll not only have more friends, you'll have more to talk about and you'll get more comfortable with people. This is all about becoming your own person, because that will attract other people to you, because you're awesome and they want to be around you.