Miss Swifteh
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- Posted: Sun, 27 May 2012 18:26:24 +0000

M A X I M I L L I A N
ESCORT / CHAIN-SMOKER / HUMAN
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬╳ ╳ ╳▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S WITH ME
I ONLY BROUGHT HIM TROUBLE SINCE THE DAY HE MET ME
IF I WAS HIM BY NOW I WOULD HAVE LEFT ME
I WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY
BUT NOW I'VE BROKEN AWAY
SOMEHOW INSTEAD HE FORGAVE ME
SAID 'A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT HE'S GOTTA DO'
EVEN IF IT MEANS HE DENIED HIMSELF THE TRUTH
'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE IN TOO DEEP YOU WAKE UP AND IT'S TOO LATE--
YOU'VE FALLEN IN LOVE IN THE WORST WAY
AND IF YOU DON'T GO NOW THEN YOU'LL STAY
'CAUSE I'LL NEVER LET YOU LEAVE NEVER LET YOU BREATHE
'CAUSE IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HEAVEN BABY
IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T ME
ESCORT / CHAIN-SMOKER / HUMAN
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬╳ ╳ ╳▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S WITH ME
I ONLY BROUGHT HIM TROUBLE SINCE THE DAY HE MET ME
IF I WAS HIM BY NOW I WOULD HAVE LEFT ME
I WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY
BUT NOW I'VE BROKEN AWAY
SOMEHOW INSTEAD HE FORGAVE ME
SAID 'A MAN'S GOTTA DO WHAT HE'S GOTTA DO'
EVEN IF IT MEANS HE DENIED HIMSELF THE TRUTH
'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE IN TOO DEEP YOU WAKE UP AND IT'S TOO LATE--
YOU'VE FALLEN IN LOVE IN THE WORST WAY
AND IF YOU DON'T GO NOW THEN YOU'LL STAY
'CAUSE I'LL NEVER LET YOU LEAVE NEVER LET YOU BREATHE
'CAUSE IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HEAVEN BABY
IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T ME
- Max was starting to venture into the world of 'what if'.
What if he never received that video text? Max figured he'd probably still be in his apartment and Feng would still be out in the forest, a cold corpse. He'd of continued his activities with Sylvester, blissfully ignorant of the pain Feng was suffering.
What if Sylvester hadn't been there when that message came through? He hated to admit it but in the absence of his own rationality Sylvester had become the voice of sanity. He was a foundation for him, a rock. Without the salamander he would have ran to the forest, probably arriving too late to help Feng. He wouldn't have cauterised the wound and Max would have panicked, unable to think clearly and dial for an ambulance. He'd have lost Feng and he would have been all alone.
What if he and Feng hadn't argued that night before? What if he could remember what they spoke about? He could have apologised and removed the awkwardness between them. Instead of traipsing through the forest Feng could have been curled up on a sofa next to him, watching crap tv, laughing at the poor quality of Saol daytime entertainment.
But what if he hadn't gotten so deeply involved with Feng?
What if he hadn't even met the boy?
What if he'd refused to go on a road trip with Sylvester?
If he'd never fallen in love with the salamander?
What if he'd stayed in Ireland and continued with his normal, average life?
The world is made up of 'what if's. Choice after choice presented themselves and it seemed to Max that he often chose the wrong one. After all, he was stood in a hospital waiting for news on the life of an eighteen-year-old boy who he'd duped into loving him. He was caught up in a murder case - several, in fact - and he was going nowhere fast. He was a liar and a cheat, just a conman with a pretty smile and Feng's friends knew it. They were losing faith in him fast; the way Eclair looked at him made that clear enough.
Just what was he doing here? He hated this place - both the physical location and his part in events. It was the waiting that hurt the most. He didn't know what to do or say, how to react or respond. He'd cried already but it had been a brief burst of tears, nothing more. It hadn't helped any. He could sit silently but that didn't do much for him either - he hated listening to the sobbing of others and concerned conversation. He felt like the leftover piece to the puzzle or the extra screw; without purpose. What kind of messed up path had he staggered down to get to this sorry state of being? Just how many 'what if's did he have to go back to find the point where it all went wrong?
But is it really all that bad?
Feng was hurt, that was true enough...but he was alive - for now. He was in the hands of professionals and receiving the treatment he needed if he had a chance of pulling through. When he looked at it from a different perspective, the choices he made seemed more positive. Sylvester had helped him to get to Feng in time and his natural talent for fire allowed him to cease some of the bleeding. Even now, as he leant against the man, he knew that it had been somehow been the right choice to accept his company. He didn't know the details of why Feng entered the forest so he couldn't change that but maybe it was best they weren't together. The gunman had no qualms about shooting Feng so they would have had none in shooting Max either.
Going farther back he couldn't help but crack a small smile. Feng was a difficult boy but he was kind and funny, down to earth and practical. He didn't make judgements and tried his hardest to understand and accommodate Max's stubborn lifestyle. Most men disliked his job and the demands it made on his time and body. If he'd pulled the stunt with Sylvester whilst seeing some of his past lovers he'd have wound up in hospital or thrown out onto the street. In meeting Feng he'd found someone who could put up with all the s**t he went along with.
The boy loved him. Really loved him; the word had meaning, it wasn't just pillow talk. True he was young but he'd already had to get over that hurdle. It was neither his fault or Feng's that their ages were separated by such a large age gap. He could no more change that as he could their racial differences. It was just who they were.
He might hate waiting in a hospital surrounded by people that were fast harbouring a dislike for him but Max couldn't deny that he was relieved Feng even got as far as the hospital in the first place. He'd made some bad choices in life but they'd all led to where he was now, waiting to hear the news of the boy he'd somehow fallen in love with. If the pain of seeing that video and the panic of tending to the boy's side in the forest meant that he would eventually be able to see Feng's smile again then it was all worth it.
And if it meant that even with all the help and hospital care the boy still slipped away then...well, at least he would be surrounded by his friends in a hospital ward and not all alone in the forest.
But I don't want him to go.
I know it's selfish but I want him to survive. Even if it's months of hospital treatment I want him to go through it because anything's better than a grave.
" I'm so selfish..." Max gave an empty laugh, his words soft, almost inaudible. Sylvester shrugged, figuring it was just depression speaking.
" Yeah, sometimes. Everyone is, don't worry about it. We all want the best for ourselves so we do stuff for our own good. It's normal. " He replied, hoping his words would help to soothe whatever demons Max was suffering. He ruffled the man's dark hair, smiling. He leant back slightly to glimpse around the corner and noted the presence of yet another couple of people in the room. Judging from looks alone, they were also there to see Feng.
" Looks like a couple more of Feng's pals have arrived. "
" Oh god... " Max groaned and Sylvester chuckled.
" I don't think the big guy's listening. " He grinned, taking a second glimpse around the corner. The policeman he'd been nervous about seemed to still be sat with the Sylph, not snooping about like he would have thought. Maybe he was just there on a personal errand.
He glanced down at Max and sighed. Maybe it was the 'selfish' comment getting to him but Sylvester was feeling a spark of guilt for dragging the man out into a corridor when it was clear he wanted to be inside that room, waiting for Feng. Dammit Maxie...you're gonna owe me.
" Let's go. I don't like the air out here. " He mumbled, dragging Max back into the waiting room. Sylvester took a seat as far from Seth and Andy as possible, his back to the police officer. He pulled Max down into the seat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders - he could feel a slight tremble as Max glanced towards the emergency room doors. He was more nervous now, impatient. It made a change from the lifeless husk he'd been before - but it remained to be seen if it was an improvement.
