мεετ мε σи τнε εqυiиσχ | ρяιvατε

[Leihya_Tearfall]

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle




I was exhausted. Utterly consumed by the mental toll of which was brought on by everything thus far in my life. It was hard to say really if I had just been bottling everything up, locking it away until this point – or perhaps I had yet to fully comprehend each and every detail unfolding in my life. Of course I seemed happy enough at this point. Edward was safely home; and I was reunited with my best friend. Bella too was alive, well and content enough. Yet there were days where all I could do was strain to see past the thick veil of sorrow that clouded my mind. I had at once been at my utter and absolute worst when what I thought was the love of my life suddenly decided that I… that the lifestyle we chose together was not for enough for him. Yet, through it all my family was still there – and I was not ready to give up just yet. Perhaps there was more to the world I lived within… and I just was not able to see such a thing yet. I could not see through the veil that clouded my vision; and I too was holding on to the brink of what sanity I had left…

We were lucky enough to make it out of the clutches of the Volturi alive… yet there were stipulations for such things. Aro was intrigued by both Edward’s and my gift; and needless to say he wanted us for his own – to join his ranks and become a part of the guard. We were not going to have any part of such a thing. Yet it was Bella that really caught Aro’s eye, an exquisite prize… a remarkable gift. It would seem that the gift she held deep within was one of a kind; and powerful even in its human form. We already knew that Edward could not read her thoughts, yet she was able to keep Aro out as well as Jane – it were as if anything closely related to affecting Bella through her mind… could not. I could see the curiosity and excitement seething from Aro at the thought of Bella’s gift; and I knew Edward was dead set on keeping her human… at least for now. With such knowledge I was required to act fast; for the Volturi would never let us leave alive if we intended to keep Bella human. Leaving Bella human was a risk to our entire race, for she knew entirely too much. Without hesitation and without word I moved quickly allowing Aro to take my delicate hand into his own. There was a long moment of silence as his head was bent over our hands, and he seemed utterly focused. It was not long after that a wide smile played across the papery translucent vampire’s features. It was right away that I knew my plan had worked; of course it would only buy us time. Aro would be never the wiser to just how subjective my visions truly can be. Of course; I had seen Bella as a vampire – but that did not mean it would happen. Duly because I could make that deciding decision now; and the vision would show the outcome. Yet later I could easily change my mind and it would be no more. So upon the stipulation that Isabella Swan was to become a part of our Immortal world… we were allowed to leave – alive. Though Edward and I both knew the Volturi would be checking in.

Without any further delay we were allowed to depart and return to Forks. It was there that Edward, Bella and I parted ways. I returned home for only a short amount of time before preparing for my much needed hunt. I was mentally exhausted from everything that took place, and physically starved for the proper nutrition that only blood had to offer. My once smoldering golden orbs were no longer such, rather they were replaced with that horrible onyx coloring and deep set rings beneath them. I was an absolute fashion catastrophe. The searing hot pain flared in the back of my throat as I moved gracefully through the foliage surrounding me. I continued north for quite some time before the wind picked up and I caught a long needed drawl of the blood enriched air. Quickly veering to the west; it was not long after that I had come upon a small herd of deer which were in turn led by a remarkable buck. Perhaps if I was not so thirsty I would have spent the time to marvel in his majestic beauty; yet I was someone else… I was something else. Lurching forward I moved against the cool breeze; I could sense the blood pulsing through their veins as I could almost taste the thick warm liquid. Venom began to well in my mouth at the idea, and I had to swallow it back as I continued to move forward. Rarely ever have I let my thirst become so unbearable, allowing it to turn me into such a lethal predator… a monster. Yet, things were falling apart and I merely pushed my hunger aside. I was close enough now to hear the soft thuds of the beast’s heart as the blood was pushed from chamber to chamber; and I was also close enough for the creature to sense my presence – but it was too late. In a single motion I lunged for the creature’s body; and the force of my impact was enough to crush a few bones as I perched above the velvet fur. He struggled with what might he was able to muster; but it was not enough. A small smile played across my lips as I could feel the searing hot pain grow with each breath I took. I let my lips wrap around the throbbing vein before lacerating the skin with razor sharp fangs. A small snarl erupted from the cavern of my chest; yet it was not one of impatience or anger… rather it was one of satisfaction. Relief flooded my limbs as I could feel the tantalizing liquid course down my throat easing the once searing hot pain that was there only moments prior, alleviating it to nothing more than mild irritation. I paid no heed to the doe’s as they fled the murderous scene; rather I continued to divulge my entire petite frame to the task at hand.

I was refreshed, and in turn I felt better. Alas I was now in no fit state to go into the public eye; although I would still remain strikingly beautiful no matter if I was covered in dried blood or not - the issue of fashion was still relevant. But it seemed that there was something I overlooked, a particular scent of which was masked by two others. The second of the three was enough to cause my nose to crinkle in disgust and I knew immediately that it was the scent of a werewolf. The same scent was all over Bella the evening I had come to console Charlie, to offer assistance in some form; the evening I found out that she was truly not deceased. Such a smell was also all over the surrounding area, and it would appear that those dogs were having quite the party in the Cullen absence. Along the same trails run by those repulsive mutts; there was a light and airy cinnamon scent that lingered. It was entirely too sweet to be canine; and thusly it could only be placed within the vampire species. Victoria. But among those scents the one that perplexed me beyond a doubt was barely noticeable… and it had been everywhere. I encroached upon my home; more cautious now than before as my senses and my mind were fully alert. I was no longer distracted by the thirst that welled in the back of my throat. The scent was mildly stronger as I was within the confining walls of my own home and no longer was it masked by that horrible wet dog smell. Rather it was appealing; a subtle warmth to the right amount of sweet – an ambrosial scent. It brought images to my mind of flowers encased within smoke; or even perhaps the forest after a thunderstorm. There was nothing quite like it; a intertwined blend of something intoxicating.

I moved swiftly toward my room after deliberating that the smell was fairly fresh; but the culprit had not been within the confines for a few days now. I would have time to wash the dry blood from my granite skin and become more, fashionable, before investigating such an intriguing blend of tantalizing smells. I had managed to cleanse my skin and dress down in a pair of low rise black slacks; where a silver studded belt rested comfortably through the loops, a rather adorable deep purple baby doll shirt embroidered with lace and a few sequins here and there; as well as a pair of black stiletto heels which allowed me an two inches or so of height. My hair was in its usual short disarray as I applied a small amount of gloss to my delicate lips before pirouetting from the room and stopping at the top of the stairwell. My face slackened for only a moment before a wide smile played across pixy like features. It was then shortly after I was welcomed with two familiar scents. I had the door open before Edward could even place Bella upon the ground. ”Is that Bella I smell?” I inquired in a playful tone before I comprehended that they were here for much more than just a visit. ”What’s up Edward?” only this time my voice was much more serious as I let my eyes narrow toward their windswept faces. Edward let out a sigh before answering my question with one of his own. ”There’s someone Bella would like you to meet, but first I think we should tell you about him. Have you noticed that scent all around town?” A small grimace crossed my features as I replied. ”You mean the wolves? Or the other one?”

”The other one.” I looked Edward over, attempting to judge just how serious he was. Of course I had noticed the smell; it was after all everywhere. Yet here in our home it was un-masked. ”It’s a vampire-wolf shape-shifter hybrid. A tame one, apparently, and according to Bella he knows who you are. And who you were. He…he’s the one who changed you.” My features became unresponsive as I stood there in the doorway; my vision was just as cold. Edward continued to explain everything he knew; and Bella too chimed in from time to time. Of course every single word that they spoke registered in my mind; yet at the same time I was not fully aware of the situation. I didn’t know what to feel. I knew that I should be angry, furious beyond a doubt – duly because that… that… creature just left me to writhe in pain alone! He left me alone and unaware of what I truly was. I was blind and yet for the first time I was finally granted the ability to see the light, but not by my own choice, and it was all because of this ‘Logan’. If not for the vision of Jasper when I had first awoken; who knows what exactly would have become of me. Then there was the question of curiosity. If I did manage to maintain a calm and collective façade; he would hold the answers to so many unanswered questions. He would be able to tell me about my human life, and just what I was before I became immortal. He would indeed know the true me. I closed my smoldering golden orbs tightly, as if I were trying to fight away the tears that I knew would never come - pathetic. I could feel my chest constrict with a long forgotten pain, a familiar pain; and before I even knew what I was doing I could feel the fabric of my shirt jostle against my granite form, I could feel the air flowing through the locks of my deep chocolate disarray. I consciously knew what I was doing and where I was going for I understood where the Treaty Lines were – and honestly right now I could have cared less about those reeking dogs. I also knew that Edward was following me; with Bella as insistent as ever to go. Yet there was something that bothered me without a doubt. I could not see my future, or the decisions that I would choose to make.

It was as if my world was non-existent.

It was not long before I arrived; following that sweet inviting scent that seemingly pulled at heartstrings that were no longer there. My features remained as they were merely minutes before at the Cullen household as I stepped closer to where I knew he would be. I couldn’t help but to feel a mixture of anxiety now riddled with fear as my eyes searched for him. Maybe… just maybe if I saw him; something would click. Perhaps I did know him – and perhaps deep down inside of every painful memory that I clutched viciously to he would be among them. I tried to recall my human past; to bring visions, images or something to my mind… only everything was nothing more than a blur. There was no clarity in this life or the prior one. Alas, as it were I was entirely too preoccupied in meeting this stranger. I paid no attention to the atmosphere around me, or the fact that omniscient clouds were already low above our heads. I could hear the growl of the storm above as the piercing wind whipped my clothing viciously around my petite frame. Again, irritated enough as it were my visions were nothing. I began to wonder just how close I had to be to him in order to blind my future and future of those around me. My delicate hands balled into fists as I let my fingernails dig down hard into the skin that was my own. And at this point and time I was sure of two things. Of the first; there was something that connected me to him - a bond unlike any other. It was something stronger than I would ever feel in the safe secure arms of another. Nothing would compare. Of the second; I was never going to allow myself to experience the torture and desolation that Jasper had left me with again.

My features hardened as my upper lip drew back over my teeth, I could feel the venom swelling within my mouth again; and I was going to rip this monstrosity limb from limb. How could he leave me to die alone? How could he?! ”You b*****d!" The words came out in a mixture snarls and choked sobs as my entire frame rolled with emotion. I was nothing more than an echo of my former self; and it all started with him…




goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle

[Orpheus Lake]

ισgαи αρσιισ мcgσωαи

One would think, after so much of my life had been spent in waiting, that I’d grown accustomed to it by now, that the uncertainty of it would no longer turn me crazed. But as the time passed, the weaker my trust in Bella became. What if something in Italy went wrong? What if she couldn’t get to Edward in time? All these months, she’d only remained barely breathing because she survived on the feeble knowledge that Edward still existed, if not with her, then at least somewhere. But if she could not get to him, if he was destroyed right in front of her, she would not be able to recover. She would end her life right then and there, because she could not live in a world where he did not exist, and it would be pointless to try and do so. I knew that feeling. What if she and Alice had gotten to Edward, but the Volturi had punished them all for the mess of the situation? Humans weren’t supposed to know about vampires, and if they did find out, their hearts weren’t supposed to remain beating for very long afterwards. Aro would feel completely justified for slaughtering them all. And I would never know about any of it.

But I tried not to get impatient. I remained in the same spot in the forest behind Bella’s house. I sat there, completely motionless for two days before my own insecurities got the better of me. Then, once I actually acknowledged them, let them take place and shape in the front of my brain, suddenly, I was too worked up to remain as a statue any longer. Needing to exercise and vent some frustration, I stripped and phased into my wolf form. My paws hit the ground and I took off in a rhythmic lope. I made sure to stay clear of the Reservation. Though I was in wolf form, I was not about to go back on my words to Sam. Until the Cullen’s officially returned to stake their claim in Forks, I would be the only wolf allowed on this side of the treaty lines.

But I could only run so far before the land became uniform to my eyes. I could only make so many laps around the small area before I was bored with the routine of it. With nothing left to do, I returned to my spot in Bella’s forest. Each second that passed felt like a lifetime. Was she ever coming back? She couldn’t simply forget about me, could she? We were kindred spirits; we were friends. If she were with Alice, surely she must have told her all about me. Bella was a good friend, the best I’d ever found in a human. I was unwilling to believe that she would leave me here in Forks, to rot away all alone.

Though, of course I was being selfish. Of all the things that must have been going through Bella’s mind when she left, and now while she was in Italy, I was sure that my troubles were the least of her concern. Edward was her world. She needed to save him before she could be the messenger girl between Alice and myself.

Still, that did not make the passage of time any easier. Perhaps, this time around, I could not be as patient as I usually would be. This instance cut too close to home for me to remain calm about it for any length of time. All the anticipation and hope I had stored for decades had all been resurfaced, all the wounds reopened and fantasies unearthed. But suddenly they were forced to a standstill by this waiting game. My very being had been alive with electricity and inertia, and suddenly it was forced to an abrupt and jarring halt.

Another day passed with me submerged in a dark mood. I was ready to give up hope that Bella would return. Just as I was about to leave my spot and walk closer to the house to see if Charlie had heard anything from her, there was movement on the dark street. I froze in the trees, watching carefully. My heart soared when I saw Bella step out of a car. So she hadn’t died after all. I was about to approach her and unload all my stress and worry on her when I noticed that she was not alone. There was a tall, worn looking vampire (the species was unmistakable) accompanying her. The way in which he held her and the bronze shade of his hair told me all I needed to know. This was Edward. He made it. They were together. My heart soared. If they were back, and back alive, then Alice had to have returned as well. I saw Bella go in the front door of her house, looking barely lucid, and at the same time, Edward came around the back of the house. Voices flooded into my head, but I was only alarmed for a moment before I remembered Bella saying that Edward was a mind reader. I froze completely and ceased breathing. I didn’t know how the Cullens would receive my intrusive presence on their already contested land. I wanted Edward and Bella to have their night together before I officially announced my presence. The male vampire paused with a sudden abruptness, and turned to face my direction. He looked ready to speak when Bella entered her room from above. Edward paused a moment, looking puzzled. He surely must have heard my thoughts, but why wasn't he reacting? I could hear his confusion, I could hear Charlie's mental death threats, I could hear Bella's...No. I couldn't hear Bella. Of all the voices in my head, Bella's was not among them. There was an empty space where Bella's thoughts would go. Perhaps it wasn't just Edward who couldn't get passed her peculiar mental defense. He seemed to disregard whatever it was he thought he heard, and then leapt up to Bella’s second story window with practiced precision.

I didn’t waste one more moment. Once the two lovers were occupied with each other, I was gone in a flash. I ran, as a vampire, all the way to the outskirts of the Cullen land. The house looked not only suddenly inhabited, but more like it had never been abandoned in the first place. So the Cullen family truly was back. But again, I did not present myself. I wanted them to be settled for at least a night before I barged into their lives to turn things upside-down. And, there was no denying it of course, I was nervous to the point of physical illness about seeing Alice. It occurred to me just suddenly that even when we were finally reunited, she would not recall who I was, nor how much we had been through together. She would not know what I was, nor what I was capable of, nor how deeply and madly in love with her I was. We would have to start from scratch all over again. All the atrocious questions filled my mind. What if she had already found someone else? What if she did not feel the same way for me anymore? What if, because she was now a vampire with a coven, she refused to even consider me? She was so entirely heartbreakingly beautiful, she could have anyone she wanted. She didn’t have to settle for a mutt like me. What if she resents me for making her this way? What if she prefers that I’d never come into her life at all? What if this whole meeting went horribly, horribly wrong?

What if it did?

Frankly, I’d spent much too much time looking for her to be turned away now, when I’d finally found her again. Would it perhaps be easier on my heart if I remained her guardian from afar? There was not a doubt in my mind. If I met her, and we talked, and she turned me away after all of this searching, I would certainly fall into the darkest of despair. But it would be worth it. Because at least then I’d know. I’d get to speak with her, and perhaps even touch her, and I would know. If I turned away now, the “what ifs” would eat me alive until I withered away to nothing.

I did not linger at the Cullen house for much longer. Though my unique biology would ensure I would not be discovered, it still felt wrong to watch the family as they moved about their house. If they happened to catch a whiff of my scent, then they would know of my presence, but that was the only way. I was like a ghost. I moved faster and more silently than any other creature I knew. If someone happened to step outside, I would be nothing but wind disturbing the leaves and branches around where I had been standing. They would never be the wiser until they found my scent, and by then it would be much too late to do anything about it. Besides, with all of the werewolf activity around the house (Sam had wanted to inspect the area thoroughly to ensure that the Cullens were gone for good) my scent probably blended in too well to be noticed at first. All of this played to my advantage, but I did not want to use it. There was nothing stopping me from taking to the trees to find which window belonged to Alice, but I did not. I didn’t want to be a peeping tom. I didn’t want to be a ghost. I didn’t want to haunt her. If she had any wish to know me, then she would come to me. I trusted Bella enough to trust that she passed knowledge of my presence along to Alice.

So, with a sigh, I shrank back into the shadows of the forest. The moon was hidden behind a thin layer of clouds, and the leaves in the trees dripped water droplets down to the earth below. The forest seemed quieter tonight than it had in a long time, and I wondered if that had something to do with the fact that a coven of vampires had returned to the area. Animals had always seemed so much more bothered by the presence of a vampire than the presence of a wolf. I wondered why that was. A deer would sense the coming of a vampire and flee, but when it sensed a wolf it would only run if it were in danger. Why? Was a vampire somehow inherently more terrifying than a wolf? It mattered not what the predator was. Either way, especially with the vegetarian Cullens, the deer’s life was still in danger.

I wasn’t really conscious of where I was walking, but I suddenly found myself in the twenty-foot-wide strip of land that separated the Quileute Reservation and the town of Forks. Sam had once referred to this area as “No Man’s Land.” It was neither Cullen territory, nor Quileute territory. It was the borderlines. The safety zone. And now, it seemed, it was my home. I would not intrude upon the Cullen’s land until I could officially meet with them, and I could never go back to La Push’s wolf pack, nor did I have a wish to.

I stayed away from the clearings, and sat down under the trees of the forest, even though no one generally came this way. It was too close to the highway, and too far away from anything of interest. Safe in that knowledge, I leaned my head back against a tree and looked up at the sky. The clouds were moving in quickly, and I could feel the temperature dropping. It was going to rain soon, and I frowned. The last thing I needed was to be outside in the rain and then have one of the Cullens come looking for me. They’d see me soaked to the bone like some mangy animal. Not the best way to make a good first impression. But there wasn’t much I could do. I hadn’t had a shirt since I left Sam and his pack. I hadn’t worn shoes since that first day I met Bella. All I had left to my name were my jeans and boxers, both of which I was wearing now. And there was no cover I could take if it did rain, not in No Man’s Land, at least.

I heard the voices before I ever heard their approach. For a brief moment, I thought I had gone mad, but then I could see images along with the voices, see the land in my mind from two different perspectives. The perspective only a vampire would have. One was male, the other was female. The male was puzzled. The female was experiencing a whole range of emotions that flitted to and fro so rapidly that it was pointless for me to identify and name each one. The male was concerned for the female, but his thoughts mostly revolved around a human. I froze in place. He was thinking about a human, who I could see now in his arms, named Bella Swan. I returned to the thoughts of the female. There was not a doubt in my mind of who she was. And she was coming for me.

I was on my feet in an instant. The wind picked up around me and whipped through my unruly hair. It had a cold chill to it, but my fevered temperature stopped me from feeling the effects of it. Thunder rumbled low somewhere off in the distance. They were coming in quickly, and my heart skipped a beat. This was it. Alice and I would finally be reunited.

Together, they stopped about fifty feet away from me.

The wind brought her scent to my nostrils before she came into my sight. It staggered me. I forgot how to think. Edward and Bella may as well have not been there at all. My eyes saw only Alice.

It was like I’d never seen her properly before. My memories of her, though etched perfectly in my mind, did not do her justice. She was so much more heartbreakingly beautiful than I had ever remembered. The moon broke through the clouds above and shone properly into the little clearing she was in, lighting up her pale skin in its ethereal glow. She was exactly as I remembered her, but different at the same time. She was still almost a full foot shorter than I. Her face was exactly the same as I remembered it, though over half a century had passed since the last time I had seen it. She was not withered with age. She was still the same, as if I had left her only yesterday. I couldn’t believe it.

But then, I noticed something while my obsidian eyes scanned her face. She wasn’t the same. She was different in a way that, while I had known she would be, I had not expected. Her hair was different, shorter. Her eyes were no longer the clear blue orbs I remembered. They were a thrilling gold, like honey and butterscotch, like bright liquid gold because she had just fed. Her skin was paler, luminescent in the light of the moon, and harder, like marble. Her heart did not beat as I remembered it. She didn’t breathe. We both stood, silent and still as statues, staring at one another.

I realized then that the girl I had remembered was Mary Alice Brandon. This creature in front of me was Alice Cullen.

I had worried that wolves could only imprint upon the living. Other than my mother, I had never once before heard of a wolf imprinting upon a vampire. I had worried that she was simply mistaken. She thought she had imprinted, but really she was just consumed with an overwhelming love for my father. I had stressed over the fact that I had imprinted upon Alice when she was a human. But she was a vampire now. Would that change the way I felt about her? Would the wolf in me consider her dead? Would I be immune to the effect she had on me now that she was of a difference species? For that was the one thing I had feared above all else. What if, when I saw her again, I no longer felt the same about her? What if my imprinting had broken? If I no longer felt the same way about her, then all of this would have been for nothing. My life truly had no purpose.

She wasn’t the exact same as I remembered her. She was infinitely more beautiful.

She was better.

They were two different beings, but still the same person. Of course there would be differences, as there were with any human turned immortal, but she was still inherently herself. Just a bit more durable now.

Something stirred inside of me then. The love for her that had possessed my heart decades ago was electric inside of me. The hope that had long been dead was alive once more. It was like no time at all had passed since the last time I had seen her. It was night, and we were in the woods. The time that had passed had all been leading up to this. It had just been one long, endless night. It hadn’t ended when I lost her, and it wouldn’t end now that I had found her. The purpose of my life had been a mystery to me without her light to guide my way. But now that I could see her, real and alive in front of me, it was clear again. I was put here for her. She was all that mattered in my life now. As long as she was happy, I was happy. I would follow her anywhere. She was the reason I had been searching so long. She was the reason I continued to exist. For as long as Alice was walking this earth, so too would I. That was the proper way of things.

The weight of it all pressed down on me, and I found that, for once, I was not strong enough to hold it up. The collected anticipation of over half a century, the renewed hope, the love I felt for her, her beauty, where we would go from here…it all came crashing down on me. I sank to my knees in front of her, staring up at her face like she was some goddess to be worshiped. But, to me, she was. She was my life.

She spoke then; had I not already been on my knees the sound of her melodic voice would have knocked me to the ground. Her voice, too, was different, but not so much so that I couldn’t recognize it as hers.

But she was angry with me, and it was an anger I couldn’t deny her. She had every right to hate me. If, right now in this moment, she wanted to tear me limb from limb, I would not resist. A whole new wave of agony ripped through me, and I couldn’t keep it out of my eyes. This was all my fault. She didn’t remember me. Her agonized expression mirrored my own. So she was in pain. And that was my fault too. She was unhappy. I made her unhappy. What was I doing? But then…did I really expect anything different? Deep in the back of my mind, hadn’t I always known that I’d ruined her life? Mary was doomed to this damnation from the moment I had laid eyes on her. How stupid it was for me to think I could protect her from the asylum, from James. What she needed protection from was me.

I hung my head in defeat. “I can’t imagine how much you must despise me for what I did to you, Alice. I thought it was my only option…” I furrowed my brow. How could she ever trust me again? “Please, just let me explain everything. I’ll tell you the whole story, everything, starting with who I am all the way to the first day I met you, and on until right this moment. After all this time, you deserve to know the truth about your past…about why you’re here today and who made you. When I’ve finished, you can do whatever you like with the information. You can rip me to pieces if it so pleases you. I won’t stop you. I deserve it. Just…please give me a chance?”

She didn’t speak, simply nodded at me, analyzing me with her peculiar golden eyes. Suddenly, I couldn’t hear her thoughts anymore. I realized that Edward and Bella were both gone. Perhaps he had decided to confront me at a later time. First he was letting Alice and I have our time for clarity.

So I went into it. I told her the whole story; anything I thought might help the situation become clearer for her. I told her of my parents, how I was born, how the Volturi had slaughtered them and tried to slaughter me, but were unable to. I told her of my power, and how that had frightened them. I told her of my half-phased hybrid form, and my wolf form, how I could phase effectively between the two species. I explained everything the separated me from her, and then all of the similarities between us. I did the same with the wolves. Then I told her of my centuries of loneliness, how I knew that I was meant for something more, but I had yet to find it. Centuries spent searching for meaning, for purpose. And then, in an asylum in Mississippi, I had found it all. It came in the form of a girl named Mary Alice Brandon. I told her everything I could about it. Explained how my life had changed when I first lay my eyes on her, broken and alone in her cell. She became my purpose, my reason for living. I imprinted upon her. I told her how I did everything I could to keep her protected in the asylum. But one day, when trying to give her a nice, relaxing day outside, a vampire named James saw us, and both of our lives changed.

I tried to protect her, but he got to her first. There was only one thing I could think to do. If she were a vampire, then James wouldn’t hunt her any longer. He’d become bored, and she would be able to fend for herself. It was the only way I could see out of it. And so, I changed her.

But James had come too soon, and I was ripped away from Alice’s side. I had to leave her there, in a cave in the woods, to fend off her attacker. I told her everything I could remember. James and I fought, but I lost. I woke up thirteen years later on the bottom of the ocean. I told her about how I searched the earth for sixty-seven years, trying to find her. I told her about my time at the bottom of the ocean. And I told her about how, a few weeks ago, I had washed up on the coast and caught a whiff of her scent. And I followed that scent to a girl named Bella Swan. And I joined forces with the werewolves to protect Bella from Victoria, because Bella was my last link to Alice. I told her my entire story, how I had spent my life trying to find her, just to know that she was all right. When I finished, I sighed. She had no reason to believe any of it. She had no reason to believe me. After all, who was I to her?

A stranger. Nothing more.

Their words, mostly noises,
Ghosts with just voices.
Your words in my memory,
Are like music to me.

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground.
I, I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms.

[Leihya_Tearfall]

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle




For most people such a meeting would be nothing more than a mere fantasy; a Fairy Tale ending come true. The princess would find her prince; whereas he would rescue her from the suffering and pain she hath embraced all along. They would live happily ever after and everything would be okay. Yet for me; it was my own personal hell and nothing was going to be okay. Here I stood; face to face with the man that took everything from me. Whether my life was meaningless from the beginning or not; I was never given the choice. I was not allowed to choose this life. Indeed I love my family more than the world itself… but what if I wanted to live a normal human life? What if I wanted to die of old age? There were so many questions running rampart through my very mind as I watched him move closer. What was I suppose to do? Was I meant to feel joy at the turning of the tides? Should I be ecstatic to finally meet my maker? I think not. Should I be oh so willing to fling myself into the arms of one who could adore me with affections unknown to another? I’d rather not. Should I forgive this man for all the pain caused in my meaningless immortal life? Absolutely not. It was his fault and his fault entirely as he had condemned me to an eternity of anguish, suffering and regret. If it were not for this ‘Logan’ I would have never been left alone from the start, to wake up with such clarity in life and to finally realize that I had nothing. Meeting Jasper was only an addition to the pain that I now bore, and I was not willing to risk being forgotten for a third time. I would no longer be able to survive if I let this man into my world; if I let him rip the remainder of my heart into pieces.

Yet, here I stood face to face with Logan. In doing such I was placing myself into a situation of suffering. Of course I was not willing to lower my walls; I was not willing to let him into my life… yet I was willing to listen. Even though anger rolled through every fiber of my frame as I wished to rip him limb from limb… I was no monster.

I let my golden gaze linger over his statuesque features as he strode forward. The man’s hair was unkempt, unruly even and very dark in color. His bone structure was perfectly symmetrical, and needless to say he appeared lithe as well as athletic. I only noticed such on account of the fact he was hardly wearing any clothing. Of course he stood nearly a full foot taller than I; even in stilettos – but who was not taller than me? I could feel the heat radiate from his form as he stopped just short, falling to his knees. Everything about him physically looked very much vampire, yet he was warm – warm to an extreme. I was positive that if I were to reach out and touch his alabaster skin he would burn me. Not that I wished to touch him…regardless. The ice cold wind whirled around our forms, driving our hair and clothing every which way about our bodies as his scent hit me. It was disorienting, and utterly intoxicating. I was not prepared for such an enticing scent, not only such, but I was not prepared for it to catch me off guard oh so easily. The cold seemed not to affect him in the least, nor did it affect me. Rather I disregarded the ominous weather and continued to study his features. Moonlight faintly flooded across the clearing, washing over our still forms and it was then I noticed his strange eyes. It was shocking, to say the least; staring into the vast onyx darkness that gave him sight. And though the darkness was vast, there was such depth. It was almost as if I could read his very being, and the longer I gazed into his eyes, the easier I found myself losing focus.

Quickly I snapped my smoldering orbs away from his, casting my sight anywhere but upon him. It was endearing looking at the man, as he resided upon his knees before me - and in a sense he reminded me of someone being blind their entire life; and by some miracle they are finally granted the means to see life for what it truly is. I realized that my hands were still balled violently by my side as the moonlight no longer filtered down upon our lingering forms; rather we were encased in a sudden blanket of darkness. The wind continued to violently sweep around us, only now I could feel the dagger like shards of ice water pelting my granite skin. I moved slightly, but not out of discomfort. It was then, against my better judgment I met his gaze once more. At first I did not understand nor acknowledge the affection that laced his adorning gaze. Perhaps I was still entirely too infuriated to care. Or perhaps I had never known such a gaze. Of course being beside Jasper for many years, I thought I knew such affections… such emotion – but this was something utterly new. It was nearly impossible to ignore such a devoted gaze, such a loving gaze, such level of affection… yet somehow I managed to break my eyes away from his once more.

I could sense Edward leaving; perhaps allowing myself and Logan time to be – though I highly doubted such. I was leaning more along the idea that he wished to spend quality time with Bella. I crinkled my nose in distaste before I let my brow furrow together. Of course I loved Bella much like that of a sister; but the thought of their happiness only brought agony to my heart. So rather than think of such things; only adding to my emotional burden I shifted my stance. I was ready to rip the man before me apart piece by piece; and as I allowed my body to tense for the spring he finally spoke. My lips curled back over my venomous fangs, his voice was much more alluring than I ever would have expected. ”I can’t imagine how much you must despise me for what I did to you, Alice. I thought it was my only option…” The expression on my face was a mixture of shock as well as disgust. Your only option?! How could he even say such a thing? I could feel my body moving towards him as the anger pooled from my violent figure. A sharp growl ruptured from my chest, mimicking perhaps that of a shriek as the rain began to fall across our skin in sheets. I could feel my clothing plaster down upon my skin as the thin blouse became soaked in mere seconds. Yet, I didn’t care. My clothing was not going to last long in a battle with such an abomination anyway, so what did it matter if it clung to my petite frame. ”Please, just let me explain everything. I’ll tell you the whole story, everything, starting with who I am all the way to the first day I met you, and on until right this moment. After all this time, you deserve to know the truth about your past…about why you’re here today and who made you. When I’ve finished, you can do whatever you like with the information. You can rip me to pieces if it so pleases you. I won’t stop you. I deserve it. Just…please give me a chance?” My body froze, as my stance relaxed by the slightest margin. I proceeded to analyze him; before nodding slowly.

The story was indeed much longer than I ever would have expected; and in listening to everything he had to offer… I could only help but to feel my curiosity grow as mentally I hung on every word. So there was indeed more to Logan, as well as there was so much more to myself and to us. Yet, being so I could not just let him waltz into my life after being gone for so very long. Mentally I was not ready for such a leap. The rain continued to plaster upon our skin as my hair fell around my features. My body was more relaxed, and I had come to the decision that I would not kill him… not today at least – but I was not willing to welcome him into my life with open arms either. He was a stranger to my life. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Slowly I took a step back as I clutched my head lightly within my grasp. I wasn’t positive as to why; but my mind was reeling with faint images. Most of them I could hardly make out; nor did any of them make any sense. A lot of these images were nothing but utter darkness. It was as if Logan himself triggered something in my very mind… in the very pit of my existence. Tightly I closed my eyes; as I could feel a peculiar sensation erupt across my temple, caustic almost. It was painful, and I didn’t know what to call such a feeling. A headache perhaps? I had heard of such a human ailment from Bella and many of the other students in Forks High… but for myself as an immortal to get one? Yet before I knew what was happening I stumbled backwards as a barrage of images broke through my mind – the mental barrier that must have kept them at bay would seemed to have broke. Startled by the sudden visage; of which was nothing in comparison to many visions I had prior; I fell against the sodden underbrush my back arching in agony. ”What… what did you do?!” The words were nothing more than a gargled scream as I clawed in futile attempts against anything and everything nearby. There was nothing that could compare to the pain that seared within my mind as each image rapidly played. My breathing hitched, as a natural reflex of panic before all of the images ceased; leaving only one to play in hazily in my mind. On the exterior my face was blank, lifeless and completely void of anything that would suggest I would be coherent. Yet on the inside; I was completely and utterly alive.

I was no longer among the hailstorm of rain. The wind was no longer tearing violently at my clothing as I tried to focus on my surroundings. At first I shielded my eyes from the bright light that seemed to filter down from above; and it was then I realized I could not see each and every distinct color in the spectrum. Rather everything was quite blurry and out of focus. I fumbled around for only a moment before I realized that I was in a small courtyard. There was a vast assortment of trees as well as other small plants, there were even flowers that scattered around in various pots and sectors. I attempted to pick out any distinct smell that may give what each flower and plant was… but again I could not. My face crumpled in confusion and before I could move, I could feel a set of strong warm arms enveloping my petite form. They were quite warm, and at the touch I could feel a surge of what I would consider to be electricity. It was an odd sensation, alarming even… yet my body yearned for more. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I let my face turn to face the culprit as mentally I recoiled ready to strike. There meeting my gaze were those same deep onyx orbs. Yet, for some reason I felt happy to see him. I wanted him to hold me, to adorn me with affections. Shaking my head in disbelief at my own desires, I could feel my hair move around my face. It was longer… much longer. I looked down toward my exposed porcelain skin, it was nothing like marble; and rather it was full of life. I could feel my lungs constricting with each breath I took and much to my surprise I could feel my heart beating within my delicate chest. Was I human? Was this a human memory? Or was it something more?

Again I let my eyes focus upon Logan and for the first time in a long time I could feel a smile spread across my lips. This… must be… I began to think over Logan’s story as we moved slowly through the court yard. Well, rather we weren’t moving slowly, merely at my human pace. It was then the memory cut out… it became choppy and broken. I could see through the blur hesitation, as well as remorse fill Logan’s features as the sky grew darker. Not with weather; rather the daylight hours were departing. I could see that he was sorry, though for what I was not sure as he ushered me to my room. Again everything was very choppy… broken. While such images played through my mind, my immortal body writhed in pain, sometimes arching at extreme angles depending on the severity of the images; as my ocher orbs remained wide open and utterly vacant. The next image that flashed briefly was one of darkness… complete and utter darkness. Perhaps this was my room? My confinements? The image dissipated as quickly as it had come; replacing itself with a flash of brilliant crimson and shattered glass. I could not decipher the rest of the images that led up to Logan stealing me from my room in the midst of the night; nor could I remember exactly what took place before his achromatic fangs lacerated the delicate skin upon my wrist. There was no pain, there was no image – rather there was only complete and utter darkness. I was alone.

It was then my body ceased to move. There was no longer violent lashings from any of my extremities, nor was there a sound uttered from my lips. Rather I lay there completely unaware of the surroundings; in what most would refer to as a catatonic state – suspended within my mind. Isolated within my own personal hell. I was trapped within the darkness again; and it was suffocating me. I never thought that I could fear something so very much…



goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle

[Orpheus Lake]

ισgαи αρσιισ мcgσωαи

She listened carefully, analyzing my every word. The rain came crashing down around us. My exposed torso was slick and shiny, the cold water hitting my skin and then turning to steam and rising into the air. My jeans were soaked through, and clinging to my thighs. I was barefoot, and the earth was squishy beneath my toes. Despite the wind and torrential rain, things in the forest seemed rather silent now that I was done speaking. Alice stood stock still in front of me, her critical eyes analyzing everything about my being.

Then her face twitched. Her hand went to her temple. She looked irritated. And then, her face crumbled in pain, and she shouted out. I watched with horror as her eyes went blank and she began to stumble around as if blind, clawing around at the trees. She looked like she was having a vision. She continued to stumble, and then finally collapsed under a tree.

My body had moved before I was consciously aware of telling it to do so. I was by her side instantly, but unsure of what to do. I’d never seen her act this way. What was wrong? I took her hand in mine, wanting to know what she was seeing that was causing her so much pain. My ability to mimic powers did not depend on physical contact. Whether I was touching someone or not made no difference in my ability to use his or her power. But Alice had always been the exception to that rule, even when she was human. When within her range, I could use her power, and see visions of the subjective future. What I saw was generally a different version of what she saw. But, when we were touching, she and I would see the exact same vision. It was a helpful skill that we had discovered long ago. But, as I held her hand now, I didn’t see anything. She wasn’t seeing into the future. But, she was definitely seeing something. And whatever it was, it was hurting her.

Was…could she possibly be remembering? Not looking into the future, but seeing the past? Seeing it for the first time since I had changed her? Had my retelling of her life possibly triggered something in her brain? Why did Edward have to leave? I wanted to see inside of her head, to know what was wrong and how I could fix it. How was I supposed to protect her from something that was inside her own head? I felt so useless. Ill-equipped. Obsolete. Inept. Inadequate. Pathetic.

Her thrashing was over as soon as it had begun, and she lay there motionless, her eyes still unseeing. Catatonic. Like she was stuck within her own mind. But that wasn’t all. I could hear footfalls off in the distance. Heavy, soft footfalls. Many of them. Rhythmic. Paws. Claws digging into the wet earth. V-formation. Wolves. But why?

I looked around, breathing in, and the answer was all too clear. In Alice’s stumbling, she had crossed the narrow space of No Man’s Land. And she had come out on the wrong side. We were in Quileute land. Wolf territory. And the vampires were not on good terms with the wolves at the moment. Alice had whisked Bella away from Jacob, who was just about to move in on Bella. Alice had taken Bella to Edward, and Bella had come back with him. Jacob lost his chance. If Alice hadn’t have come back, then neither would Edward. Bella had chosen Alice over Jacob. And I had chosen Alice over Sam. And now Alice and I were in Sam’s territory.

I didn’t have to share their pack mind to know that they were pissed.

There was no time. I took Alice’s face in my hands, leaning in close. “Alice? Alice, look at me. Follow my voice, Alice. Come back to me. Come back.” I tried to keep my voice soothing, but it was difficult to hide the urgency. The wolves were getting closer. But that was the least of my worries. I could handle them all if it came to it. But Alice’s episode frightened me. Monster or no, I knew with every fiber of my being that I was supposed to protect her. But I couldn’t do anything about her mind.

But she was responding. She closed her eyes tightly, and her body stretched. She inhaled deeply and her eyelids fluttered back open. Her golden orbs met mine, and they were focused. I sighed with relief. But there was no time. The wolves would be here in mere moments. I wrapped one arm around her back and wound the other underneath her knees, lifting her up. She looked dazed, only half aware that she was being moved. Her skin was hard, like a vampire’s should be, and cold. It soothed my fevered temperature in a way I hadn’t been expecting. It was nice.

In an instant, I had her back across the treaty line and into vampire territory, her safety zone. They were coming in fast, all in their wolf forms. There was no hesitation in their stride, even though they were so close, which told me one thing.

Sam was leading an attack.

I set Alice down and looked deep in her eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I turned and launched myself into the air. My pants were off in a flash and an instant later I landed with four paws on the ground. I pushed off the ground, muscles rippling under my black pelt of fur, and barreled into Sam, sending him flying backwards. Jacob reacted first, rounding on me, but I whirled and kicked my back legs into his side, the musty smell of wolf blood filling the air. I wheeled immediately, because Paul had gotten passed me. He was coming around to lunge at Alice. I got to her before he did, and clamped my jaws down on his neck, throwing him away from her. Jared came around to her other side, and I did the same to him, throwing him into a tree that snapped with his weight. It fell down on Jacob, who had recovered and had rounded to attack from that direction. Embry hesitated, and that cost him. I rammed my head into his side, and he went skidding away, whimpering. I turned around to face Sam, who was standing in front of me, his teeth bared. He ran at me, and I was about to dodge, when suddenly there was a wolf on my back. It was Jacob, I could tell from the sheer size of him. That boy recovered quickly. Sam was lunging for my neck, and Paul was coming in from the side. I'd been restraining myself up until that moment. I bucked, but Jacob's claws were sunk into my shoulders. I wheeled, dodging Sam's snapping jaws, and jumped into the air. I rolled in mid-air, landing Jacob-side-down. He yelped with pain, (I thought I heard a few bones crack) his claws losing their grib. I was on my feet in an instant, and running at Sam. I slashed my paw across his face and kicked him in the ribs. Paul lunged, but I moved out of the way. I grabbed his neck again, and threw him at Sam, who was just starting to get up. They both fell. I stood there a moment, breathing steadily, blood dripping from my back and shoulders. But the wounds were already healing. By the time I phased back, they would already be scars. Sam was the first to get back to his feet, baring his teeth.

“Betrayer!”

I snarled. “Me the betrayer? You were the one who kept her from me! What were you thinking, Sam?”

“What were you thinking letting your bloodsucking sweetheart strut onto our lands?”

“She didn’t strut. Something happened. She was in a lot of pain. Incoherent beyond measure. Had she been in her right mind, she would have realized how close she was to the border. It was an accident, Sam. I know how much you’d like to think that the vampires sit around and plot your demise, but you give yourself too much credit. There was no malicious intent. Even vampires make mistakes.”

He snarled. “The Cullens should know better than to wander so close. Arrogant bloodsuckers. They think they can walk all over us. They think they’re so superior. We should make an example of this one.” Sam lowered into a crouch, a guttural snarl ripping from his throat. Jacob, Paul, Jared, and Embry lined up into attack formation behind Sam.

I took a defensive crouch in front of Alice. “Try it. You couldn’t get by me the first time. What makes you think you’ll be so lucky now?”

Sam faltered, lifting his head. “Did our allegiance mean nothing to you, Logan?”

I swished my tail. “Are we still allied, Sam?”

“There’s still a chance…we can be.”

I scoffed, the sound coming out as a snort in my wolf body. “Perhaps you should be asking yourself what allegiance means, Sam, and not me. You have a truce with the Cullens, and yet here you are, so ready to kill one of them. You asked an alliance with me, and here you are prepared to hurt the woman I have imprinted upon. You know that’s a violation of wolf law more ancient than the entire history of your tribe. If you inflict any damage upon her, or any of your pack for that matter, I have the right exact my revenge. And you can’t do a thing about it. So, what of it, Sam? What does our alliance mean to you?”

He looked at me, stunned, and then sighed. He lowered his tail, submission clear. “I’d like if we could get along, Logan. I’m sorry you misunderstood the reason behind my wanting you to stay with us. Maybe someday, you’ll let me explain. In the mean time, please keep your new family off Quileute territory.”

I lifted my head, standing straight, coming out of my defensive crouch, wanting to stand taller than them all, and succeeding. Jacob was bigger than Sam, but I was bigger than Jacob. And quicker. And stronger. I had them all beat. Sam turned and lead his pack away at a steady lope. I waited, ears erect, until I could no longer hear their footsteps. Then I turned back around to look at Alice. My eyes conveyed a simple message. Stay. I turned and picked up my jeans in my mouth. I trotted into the cover of the underbrush, making sure I was hidden, and then phased back to my vampire form. I quickly put my jeans on, and then flicked back into the clearing. I was only gone for a second. I looked around, gauging the forest, and then turned back to Alice.

My dark hair was plastered to my skull from the torrential rain from earlier. It had slowed since then, and was now more of a heavy mist than anything. I walked closer to her, eyeing her appearance, trying to detect any sign that she was about to fall once again into whatever state had overtaken her before. She seemed alright. More lucid, at least. She was watching me carefully. “Are you alright? Was…was that my fault?” No matter what I did, all I seemed to do was cause her pain. Why was I even trying to make this work? It was obvious she didn’t want me around. If I were smart, I would commit an aggression against the Volturi and have them finish the job they started months ago. Or maybe I could anger the wolves into doing it…

I sighed and connected my gaze with hers. It was hard to want to die when I could finally see her face in front of mine again. To know that it was real and tangible, and that she was alive and okay. Hatred for me and what I did to her aside, she was still my reason for living. How could I possibly consider taking myself away from her so soon? Of course I would stay. I would stay in this forest for the rest of my existence if it was the closest I could be to her.

An eternity of watching her from afar was better than a world where she didn’t exist.

Their words, mostly noises,
Ghosts with just voices.
Your words in my memory,
Are like music to me.

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground.
I, I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms.

[Leihya_Tearfall]

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle




Alice?

It was faint at first. Yet familiarity called to me. Was it calling me from the past or the present? Now that was the true question.

”Alice, look at me. Follow my voice, Alice. Come back to me.”

I took a long deep breath, and it felt as if I were breathing for the first time. Though I needed not to breathe, the action itself was so alleviating. I was no longer suffocating within the darkness that plagued my mind… my memories. Rather I was resurfacing from the dark murky waters of forgotten pain. I blinked once, my eyes focusing – and there, he stood above me; perhaps the most beautiful of sights to have graced my presence. All the anger, all the hatred, and all the pain seemingly washed away for one split second as I tried to comprehend the new wave of emotions that flooded over my every fiber replacing the old. I would not have noticed that he was carrying me if it were not for the sheer fact of his blazing skin beneath mine. Even though I was soaked to the bone from head to toe, my hair no longer spiking out in every which way – rather it fell sloppily around my features – I could feel the heat. It did not burn, rather it was quiet welcoming. It seemed to reach deep down within me; and for the first time since my heart ceased to beat long ago… it felt… it felt as if it were fluttering to life once again. I’m sure I looked dazed, and perhaps not at all there. Yet I was; I was there. I was there in Logan’s arms and I felt whole.

My brow furrowed slightly, could I really let him into my life so easily? From a single touch? Yes, the anger had faded away, and at the moment I felt not the need to kill him – to rip him limb from limb. But… there was a reason for me to be mad; a justified reason… or so I had led myself to believe. Slowly I blinked once more. My gaze lifted from his perfectly carved features to my surroundings. I was no longer in No Man’s Land as he set me down across the vampire border. My head cocked to the side as my fingertips rubbed gently upon my temples. The headache was still there; yet my mind was clearer. ”Ugh…” I managed to mutter before the urgency finally set in. The urgency that was in Logan’s voice, followed by the sound of something I never expected. Logan’s onyx gaze smoldered into my own as he reassured me that everything would be ok; and I believed him. Yet panic was still inevitable. I had the urge to run… to leave and return to my family – yet I knew that I would never make it. Not blind. Rather, I took a deep breath as my nostrils flared out. A low yet vicious growl ripped from the deepest depths of my gut as my body lowered toward the ground my fingers forming claws by my side. I let my lips curl around my venomous fangs as my smoldering golden orbs pierced through the torrential downpour around my petite frame.

No sooner had Logan reassured me of the outcome; he was lunging away from me, clothing flung to the side as he phased from his vampire form into a massive black wolf. I was stunned and amazed by the sheer size of him, yet I quickly shook that feeling from my form as I watched the pack barrel toward me in a V formation. What had I done? I couldn’t remember prompting those mongrels for anything… or perhaps I did – three days ago. Ah, yes I understood now; or at least I believed to understand. This was Jacob’s revenge against me. That filthy mutt was irate that Bella returned with Edward; and what better way to exact revenge than with the whole bloody pack. I watched as Logan barreled into Sam, sending him flying backwards. It was shocking how much bigger he was than all the rest of them… yet there was no time to dwell on such things. Rather I moved quickly from my position… not forward, rather I moved back. If they wished to come and get me; then they would have to come into my territory. Jacob had reacted first toward Logan’s attack and rounded in on him; though Logan was much quicker. His back legs flew out as the repulsive smell of wet dog and blood mixed into the atmosphere. It was enough to make any vampire wince. Yet, I was too busy watching Logan that I had not noticed Paul get past – nor did I see such an action to allow me a pre-emptive move as I was blind. Stupid dogs. Before I knew what was happening the large wolf was lunging for me. Instinctively I moved to the left; though Logan was already there his teeth clamped firmly down upon the wolf’s neck. Within a second he was tossed to the side as if he were nothing more than some child’s toy. Jared flanked around the opposing side, causing me to stop short – crouching I let a hiss seeth through my bared teeth as I prepared to rip him limb from limb. I was sure that I could be quick enough to take on one wolf… yet before I could make my own move Logan was doing the same with Jared as he had done with Paul. Jared on the other hand made contact with a tree that was not far. It snapped in half from the sheer force behind the throw and Jacob had by this time decided to round an attack from that direction – such an attack was quickly halted as the tree fell on his massive form. I relaxed my posture slightly as Logan lowered his head ramming Embry, the young wolf skidded backwards whimpering from the sheer force.

I could not help but to feel safe as I watched the battle; Logan was there and he was protecting me. It was as if nothing could hurt me while he lingered around, and no matter how hard they tried – no one could bypass his defense. A small smile flickered across my lips as my gazed bore into Sam. Of course to be truthful, I didn’t know one wolf from another. It was my first time encountering the La Push pack since I had come to realization Bella was playing with strays. They all looked alike to me, large… wet… furry dogs. I’m sure if I paid close attention I could differentiate the musky smells from one another – alas I was not at all eager to do so. It was bad enough I had to smell them in such close range. Sam ran toward Logan and in a split second Jacob was on top of his back, his claws ripping into the flesh of the massive black wolf. I could smell the Logan’s blood from the distance, and I was surprised. It was not repulsive in the least, nor was it appealing. My body went rigid as my features hardened. ”Logan!” The words flew from my lips before I even realized I had uttered them, my body was hurtling toward the mess of canines; and I was preparing to rip that flea-bitten mutt from Logan’s back. Yet before I could do so Logan narrowly dodged Sam’s incoming attack and was Jacob side down on his back – I stopped surveying the scene as there was a long motionless silence between the wolves. I wanted to rush to Logan’s side… to inspect the wounds I could clearly see as well as smell. Yet, I held my ground my muscles still rigid and my blazing ocher orbs darting from wolf to wolf.

They seemed to be deep in conversation. Occasionally a sound would erupt from one or the other, and in Logan’s case he let out a small snort. I watched his tail swish slightly and before I could even comprehend what was taking place; Sam and his pack were leaving. I remained stationary as Logan turned toward me, my eyes meeting with his own as I understood the simple message he intended to convey. I would stay. Though my body remained rigid I took note of the slight weather change. The torrential rains were no more; rather it had turned to a heavy mist. I could feel the makeup I had placed on earlier streaked across my features; oh how I must look like an utter fashion disaster. My clothing was plastered to my petite form and I was at least lucky my shirt was a darker tinge in coloring. Slowly I let my weight shift underneath me as I cocked my hip to the side. I watched as Logan retrieved his clothing, allowing himself to abscond into the brush not too far off. ”A modest werewolf, now that’s something I didn’t expect.” I mused lightly to myself, snickering slightly in the process. Before long Logan had emerged wearing the same sopping wet jeans he had on earlier. His dark hair was plastered down upon his skull as his eyes ran over my very form. Perhaps he was deciding whether I would run or not. Waiting for me to react harshly to the situation perhaps? I sighed lightly and closed the gap between us.

The anger was long gone from my mind as curiosity replaced it, followed by a yearning I had yet to explain. I wasn’t ready for this. In no way was I ready to let another man become my mate; to open the wounds long forgotten and hope that they would not be gouged any deeper. Yet... I needed this. I needed Logan. Gradually I lifted my fingertips toward his face; my brow furrowed slightly. Was I trembling? I couldn’t be. Yet, I was. My hands trembled as I gently grazed his porcelain complexion letting my fingers trace over every feature about him. My touch was light, and beneath it I could feel the electricity surging. It was welcoming, it was intoxicating and it made me crave more. My entire body began to quiver now as I let my fingers run freely toward his hair, pushing the wet disarray from his eyes. I could feel my stomach tighten and it was as if I were alive once more. I suppose you could say the nerves were getting to me. The warmth from the contact was searing through my body, and it seemed to heal all the pre-existing pain – as if we were never apart. Jasper was no longer among my thoughts as I kept my gaze locked upon Logan, as far as I was concerned there never was a such a person. I let my fingers find their way back down along his features until they then came to a rest upon his blazing torso. This was it… I was going to open myself up for a world of hurt.

Gently I scrunched my nose as I let my gaze linger across my fingertips. There I was beginning to trace small circles upon his perfectly carved muscles, I let my jaw relax slightly as I spoke. Though the first words to come out my mouth were not the ones I expected. ”You know… you’re a pain. Quite literally.” My voice range clear as silver bells as I pulled my hand away. It seemed the closer I was to him, the fiercer my headache became. ”But that is not the point Logan.” My voice nearly broke on the last part. ”You’ve been gone so long… and I have every reason to hate you.” Looking up toward the man before me I let my brow scrunch as if I were irritated. ”Yet… here I am; idiotic as usual. I can’t bring myself to hate you for the things you did, for the pain you caused…no rather I find myself opening my heart to you again-“ A long pause filled the air as I looked away once more; only this time I turned toward my home. I was positive Edward had filled in the others about Logan, I was also certain Bella was with him. Perhaps it was time to go home.

”Don’t hurt me again Logan. I don’t think I could survive another gouge to my heart. Now, let’s get dry shall we?”


It was the first step of many, to what would be a long yet perhaps worthy healing process. I was just as scared as I was excited; without a moment to waste I took off through the thick mist. The ice cold water plastered against my skin once more as I ran through the thick foliage. It was hard to concentrate on the footfalls of the man behind me as the headache only continued to linger. I sighed lightly to myself, for if this were to work it seemed I would have to find some way to alleviate the persistent pain – as well I would be nothing without my sight. First and foremost my family was counting on me to be able to see the decisions the Volturi would make that would bring them to Forks. I had promise Aro that Bella would indeed one day become a part of the Cullen family; and if we were to be caught off guard due to my lack of sight… well it would not turn out. Secondly, I just would not be myself if I were constantly blind. It would become an inconvenience and that was not something I looked forward to. It was not long before I was standing outside the towering house hidden behind even taller trees. The windows were alit and everything was returned to its rightful place within. It was as if the Cullens had never left. Smiling lightly I turned to see if Logan had followed. I was eager to introduce him to the rest of my family… yet at the same time I was nervous. For he was a hybrid and I could only imagine the feedback I would receive…



goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle