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→ Sebastian Ford

                                Just as the man was about to pull the hot water from the microwave, Ash had made a mad dash for the bathroom. Sebastian's first response was to go after him, but immediately decided against that course of action and instead left Ash alone, for the time being, but not without worrying about him.

                                After he poured the water into the mug and placed the teabag inside, he stared at the steam for a while before heading over to the table and placing the mug at Ash's chair, then sat across from it, his gaze fixed now on the hallway across from the living room where he could see the light from the crack at the bottom of the bathroom door spilling out into the darkness. He unconsciously ran his fingers of one hand in his hair while he waited, the other hand gripping his own knee beneath the table.

                                When Ash finally emerged again, Sebastian said nothing, this time, merely sat across from him and watched. He sucked in a quick breath and as soon as Ash picked up those chopsticks again, he reached across the table like he wanted to put his hand on his counterpart's, but...

                                He breathed again as if he was about to say something, then once again decided against his gut and immediately pulled his hand away just shy of touching Ash.



                                Sebastian remained silent over the next few days as well. Neither he nor Ash really said much to each other, in fact, aside from what was needed, like simple and slightly awkward "heys" now and then.

                                There was plenty to be said amidst the stifling silence, but Sebastian wasn't sure how to say it, or if he even should. He never was good at talking things out, but he wasn't good at fighting them out, either, so he tended to fester in his own mind, instead.

                                I just... want him to be happy...

                                He thought that, over and over, and if he was truly incapable of giving that to Ash, then maybe...

                                There's nothing I can do, now. It's too late. He wanted nothing more than to just start over, but things were already too convoluted and complicated to even think of that. Time was running out, and Hyde was already there.

                                As far as Sebastian saw it, it was completely inevitable that Ash would leave. I just hope I made him happy, too, if at least for a moment.

                                He swallowed hard the lump in his throat as he sat at the table on the back porch, like always, twirling a dead leaf between his fingers as he thought.
→ Asher (Ash) McLean

                                That night, they slept in separate beds, and had every night since. Conversation seemed to be a thing of the past as well, but even the half-assed small talk that they contented themselves with in its place was becoming difficult, now.

                                Not that Ash didn't want to talk; in fact, the urge was almost unbearable, at times, but he still kept to himself if only out of fear that the increasingly turbulent scenarios he imagined at every turn would become reality.

                                I can't.

                                It was a miracle that Sebastian wasn't lost to him entirely, already; the way the older male had pulled his hand away that night, after coming so close, still haunted him.

                                Ash had never lied about his feelings, but there wasn't any point in reaffirming that, now, or much less any way to. He couldn't even begin to think about them, really, until he finally settled things with Hyde. For better or worse.

                                I need to leave before I hurt him any more than I already have.

                                It was a selfish thing to do—much like everything else he'd done, up until this point—and it did anything but justify his actions and the whole convoluted, complicated mess, in spite of his ultimately good intention, but he couldn't see any other way.

                                I just hope he doesn't blame himself for this, when it's anything but his fault.

                                It would be the best for the both of them if he was gone.

                                Or at least that's what he'd tell himself, over and over—and what he told himself the moment his breath caught in his throat as he stepped out onto the back porch to ask, after having gotten off the phone with Hyde, as the guitarist had promised he'd call:

                                "They're here, and I invited them out to dinner... They said they want to try Mexican or Cuban food. Do...you wanna come, too?"



                                And whether his counterpart had only agreed out of false courtesy or in order to spare him from having to call a cab or not—for whatever it was—Ash was grateful.

                                Ungodly sorry, but grateful.

                                Yet the pain that still lingered in his chest hardly lessened when he saw the five of them standing there in the parking lot, smoking and waiting. His grip tightened on the folded piece of paper buried deep in his pants' pocket: lyrics he planned to sing for the concert, in the likely event they called him up on stage. The only good thing that had come out of his and Sebastian's growing, awkward silence, if that.

                                I still can't believe they're actually here...

                                It had been a year, almost two, but Shinya looked the same as ever in his lightweight, layered shirts, red plaid pants and heeled black, lace-up combat boots that compensated for a whole two inches of his height, aside from his two-toned hair—a bright, platinum blond on top of his natural black, spiked to punk rock perfection every which way, with a plethora of piercings in his ears and face enough to match.

                                He was the first to put out his cigarette and wave when he saw Ash slowly step out of Sebastian's car.

                                Standing next to him, Nobu—in his matching, ever black ensemble, this time consisting of a lightweight jacket over a simple wife-beater, ripped skinny jeans, and creepers—flashed a crooked grin. It was nice to see that he had actually taken the time and parted his otherwise typically asymmetrical hair for the occasion like how it was supposed to be, and not just lazily down the middle. It was a rare treat to see him in his glasses as opposed to his trademark teal contacts, as well. And aside from still wearing his own facial and ear piercings, it seemed he was trying to make a good impression.

                                Nobu's step-brothers, Ayato and Takumi, could almost be mistaken for a couple if one didn't know better. They always dressed to impress, no matter where they were, yet Takumi was arguably the most formal-looking one there, in a black blazer and matching, freshly pressed slacks. The crisp white of his collared button-up shirt served as a nice contrast against his long, straight black hair that fell just past his shoulder blades, at its longest. Almost as long as Ash's had been, before he cut it. He rivaled Sebastian in height, standing at a full 6'2", and although he was smiling, his dark eyes seemed as hard and distant as always.

                                Ayato, or Aya, as he fondly preferred to be called, had toned down his usual look considerably, sticking only to some light makeup—a gold eyeshadow, liquid black eyeliner, and a lightly tinted lip gloss—false lashes, a simple French manicure, and a sleek pair of black, peep-toe ankle boots (to arguably show off his matching pedicure) over a pair of sparkly black jeans and a white, screen-printed off-the-shoulder shirt. His hair—even longer than Takumi's—was loosely held up into a bun by an elaborate, ornamental glass hair stick: a cascade of glittering, hand-painted pink and gold plum blossoms. It was arguably Aya's favorite, and one Ash had seen him wear many times, after Nobu had bought it for him on a whim. He was the only non-smoker, nor did he sport any piercings whatsoever.

                                One look at Aya, and Ash was positive that Sebastian could see exactly where and who he'd derived most of his inspiration from in terms of his own occasional sense of dress. It was hard not to smile at him, despite everything.

                                And finally...

                                Hiro.

                                Of course, though not surprisingly, the lead guitarist had been the last to put out his cigarette and greet him as he went on down the line, so-to-speak, though the hug he gave—out of the four who gave him one, Shinya, Nobu, and Aya being the other three—lasted the longest by far, albeit was still brief.

                                Ash could've sworn he saw a slight flicker of annoyance flash across Hyde's face as his gaze passed between him and Sebastian, but he smiled and offered to shake the older man's hand as cordially as ever before making further introductions of his friends and bandmates nonetheless.

                                Of the five, only Aya, Nobu, and Hyde spoke fluent English without hardly any trace of an accent; Shinya's English was passable, at best, and Takumi, though he could speak it well enough—and better than Shinya, at any rate—still vastly preferred his native tongue if he chose to speak much at all in Sebastian's presence. Despite his shining on-stage and corporate personality, off-stage the rhythm guitarist had never been very good with strangers, and kept mostly to himself, even more than Aya or Nobu.

                                Even so, Hyde's glance still puzzled him...

                                Until, he realized suddenly, that he'd forgotten to check himself for hickies from the other day.

                                ...s**t.

                                Knowing his luck, he had at least one still somewhat visible somewhere, and if it hadn't been bound to be an awkward evening before, it certainly would be, now.

                                But even if that's not the case, I'll still be paranoid about it all night...

                                Because he certainly didn't imagine it: the tension, however unspoken, between Hyde and his counterpart was most definitely there.
→ Sebastian Ford

                                A quiet, "Sure," and a little nod was Sebastian's response to the dinner invitation. Why he accepted, he didn't outright know, either. In truth, he was probably only setting himself up for humiliation.

                                Hyde will be there... he thought to himself with another shiver of nervousness as he drove himself and Ash to the restaurant to meet them. He sorely wished he wasn't driving. Otherwise, he'd order enough drinks for himself to get shitfaced until next week. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so nervous.

                                Then again... there was no guarantee that Ash would be coming back to the house tonight, anyways. Why would he? There would be no real reason to drive home, then. Getting drunk was certainly an attractive prospect.



                                Once they arrived, Sebastian was taken aback for a few moments, glancing between all of them with their own... unique styles. They all looked like they came out of some punk fashion magazine, or maybe a weird foreign musical. Come to think of it, a 'weird foreign musical' wasn't too far off from the truth.

                                After some inward speculation, he could see where Ash got his... sometimes unorthodox sense of fashion from. Not that Sebastian was complaining, really. He found it somewhat charming, to be honest, and smiled a little before he caught Hyde's gaze, and his smile quickly faded as he awkwardly accepted the handshake from the younger male.

                                Awkward didn't even begin to describe it, though, really. Not only did Sebastian and Hyde have visible tension between each other, but Sebastian was the only one sticking out of this crowd like an ostrich in a flock of sheep. He wished he could bury his head in the dirt until this was all over.

                                At least a few of the other guys seemed somewhat friendly, if not just as quiet around strangers as Sebastian himself. He offered his name and an uncouth wave to them. He wondered if he should have introduced himself as Ash's roommate and/or friend but decided against saying anything at all on the matter; he wondered how many of them would know he would be lying, anyways...
→ Asher (Ash) McLean

                                I'm going to hate myself for doing this, but...

                                Once inside, sitting himself between Hyde and Sebastian seemed like the best, if not the only option because Ash didn't want the older man to feel any more uncomfortable than he probably already was by forcing him to sit next to someone he had just met, let alone forcing him to sit next to the guitarist and risk their obvious tension escalating.

                                On the other hand, he doubted it would honestly placate either of them, and if it didn't end up making things worse after all, Ash imagined he'd still become collateral in the process, somehow.

                                Respectively, Aya, Shinya, and Nobu sat across from them on the other side, while Takumi took the head of the table, between Hyde and Aya.

                                Ash flashed an appreciative smile the bassist's way: he couldn't have picked anyone better to sit across from Sebastian, and he secretly hoped that they would get on well, too.

                                Not to mention it'll help ease the situation...

                                Like his step-brothers, Nobu was a rather private person, but he had a wicked sense of intuition and always seemed to know how to act accordingly. In this case, he was the first one to speak up.

                                "So, Sebastian: do you drink?"

                                None of that "I've heard a lot about you," or anything else that might call needless attention or cause further embarrassment to the other male, when Nobu could clearly see he was nervous and uncomfortable. Only a small smile, and an indirect offer to help him calm his nerves.

                                "Ta-kun's paying so order as much as you want," added Shinya rather enthusiastically, grinning. "Ne, Ta-kun?"

                                Aya, Hyde, and Ash all laughed at that, but Takumi merely nodded.

                                "My treat."

                                He might've seemed downright unapproachable, yet Takumi was actually quite considerate and even kind, especially if one actually took the time to get to know him.

                                "Is there anything you would recommend?" Aya paused from perusing the menu and briefly locked eyes with Sebastian as he posed the question, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His voice was deep, and almost shockingly so for many—at least initially—given his overtly feminine appearance, but very soft, and always polite.


                                Ash, meanwhile, started up his own conversation by first digging out the folded piece of paper he'd had in his pocket and handing it over to Takumi.

                                "For the concert," he said. "Do you think you guys can manage something for this?"

                                Hyde leaned over to take a look at the lyrics as well and smirked.

                                "Yeah—a little short notice, but we can manage." Of course, he was only teasing. "You write them? They're good." Real good... "We can start later tonight." It wasn't rocket science to figure out who it had been written for, either. And the b*****d won't even know. Tch.

                                Ash beamed. "That'd be great."

                                He knew talk about the concert and the band in general would be kept to a minimum so long as Sebastian was there, but he didn't mind. It would be nice just to catch up on things apart from their music, and for his counterpart to get to know all of them a little better in the meantime.

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