Please sing to me. (Private)

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh stretched and stood up. "My legs are asleep..." Josh said, shaking his foot. Matt shrugged and grabbed Josh's lap top off the bed, then sat down cross legged and logged into youtube. "Uh... Josh?" Matt said uneasily. "Yup?" Josh said, moving to sit beside him. Josh's eyes widened as he read through the comments left on the video made only an hour earlier. "They heard me..." Matt said. Josh looked at Matt, wide eyed, then stood up, running his fingers through his hair. "You do that a lot" Matt noted. Josh glared at him and sat back down. "Shut up. People are gonna be all over her. Matt, this is your fault!" Josh said. Matt shook his head and crossed his arms defensively. "I didn't do it on purpose. I was just trying to provoke you." Matt said. Josh rolled his eyes. "Obviously. Why would she liked me? She didn't even show any signs. So just... watch what you say. I'd hate to have the media all in her business and s**t" Josh said, then stood up to get another can of coke. Matt followed, turning on his camera as he went. "Josh is mad at me right now. He wont tell me why, but he is. He's actually been denying it, but I can totally tell. So... Lets go see how much I can annoy him before he finally cracks, and yells at me" Matt said, then turned the camera away from his own face, to point it at Josh, who was just closing the fridge door.

-X- he groaned as he saw the camera and rolled his eyes. "Again?" he whined, cracking open his drink, taking a long sip before Ian finally spoke up. "I know we're all for getting places way early, but I'd kill for some Starbucks right now..." Ian said. Josh's eyes lit up and he smiled. "I'm up for Starbucks" Josh murmured, taking another long drink from his Cola. "As you all can see, Josh likes having large intakes of Caffeine before we go on stage." Matt said to the camera, then turned it back to Josh, who was now doing a weird skip-like dance with his feet. "He's weird" Matt whispered to the camera. Josh looked at the camera, and made a funny face, then waved his hand in the air. "Whatever. If you'll excuse me. I have writing to do" Josh said, then turned back towards his room, Coke in hand. "Writing?" Ian asked, glancing between the camera and Matt's face. Matt nodded and looked over at Josh's closed door. "Mm-hm. He showed me a bit of it. I love it so far. Anyway. I'm off to film Josh doing what he does best. Other then being a super cutie, that is" Matt said, then turned the camera towards his own face again.

-X- "So. I'm outside Josh's door. I can hear him playing his guitar, which means there's a good chance he can't hear anything I'm saying. So I think... That what we should do. Is... Once I upload this video, you guys should comment with really great ways for me to prank him. And if any of you say 'Tie him up while he's sleeping and hide him in my closet' I'll stop making video's for the rest of tour" Matt said to the camera, then knocked on the door, walking in to find Josh sitting on the bed, guitar resting on his lap, as he leaned over it, writing something in his lyric book. "hey you" Matt said, camera still pointed at Josh. Josh looked up and sighed. "Matt. Must you?" Josh asked. Matt nodded vigorously and smiled. Then Josh rolled his eyes and went back to writing, humming the tune under his breath as he tried to figure out what he wanted the next line to say. "I'm under the gun, feel like the only one" he murmured under his breath, then smiled, as he re-read what he had, silently. Then he closed his lyric book and put his guitar off to the side. Matt turned the camera back to himself and smiled. "Well... Josh is one of the most uninteresting people alive. So... More videos later folks." he said, then shut off the camera. Josh motioned for Matt to give him the camera, and took it once Matt held it out to him. Josh turned it on, and pointed it at himself. "So. Since Matt's been making all the video's, you've only been seeing me... Now, I'll make some videos, so that you can see everything. Ready?" Josh said, then stood up and pointed the camera to whatever he saw. First he panned around his room. "This is what my room on the bus looks like. And this is Matt's" Josh said, opening the door to Matt's room. He spun around in Matt's room, so that they could see every part of it, then skipped to the kitchen. "And this is the kitchen/dining room/place where Ian and Mike be lame. Say hi guys." Josh said, pointing the camera at them. "Hello fans" The both said, then went back to playing cards. Josh turned the camera to himself again and ran his fingers through his hair. "They're really boring. Like... They just sit there reading, or playing cards all day. That's why I put up with Matt. So I don't have to talk to a wall" he said, then skipped up the stairs.

-X- Josh continued walking around the bus, talking about each room he went in, until he heard Ian call him, saying that the bus had stopped. Josh looked out the window, and gasped in excitement as he saw they were parking in a Starbucks parking lot. "Overpriced coffee needs me. See yaah" Josh said to the camera, then turned it off and hopped down the stairs, dashing out of the bus towards the large building with a humongous Starbucks sign above it. He pulled on a random baseball cap from the table, and put his sunglasses on so that no one would recognize him, then opened the door to the Starbucks and walked in, smiling as he lined up with the other three, who were all wearing hats and sunglasses as well.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

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♬ Hayden gazed boredly out her window, propped with her elbow and head resting on her hand, totally ignoring Sam, who was babbling on and on. Something about the comments on youtube, but right when Sam started talking about them, Hayden cranked up the volume on her iPod. She turned it to 'Say Anything', by Marianas Trench. Thinking about those comments didn't help her at all, they just made her more depressed. Josh's voice was the perfect pick-me-up, too. Pretty soon she was humming along, and Sam huffed when she realized she was being ignored. With a dead stare, she reached over and yanked the earphones from Hayden's ears. "Hey...what was that for?" Hayden protested, reaching for the earbuds. Holding them out her window in a teasing manner, Sam shook her finger on her other hand, "Uh-uh-uhhh! You weren't listening to me, this is punishment." Hayden returned Sam's dead stare and held out her hand, demanding them back. Sam just grinned. "Ok, so you'll listen to me now?" Sighing, Hayden dropped her hand and looked to the floor, "No...It's not that I was ignoring you, I just...I don't want to talk about it. You know, the comments...I just...I'm going to hear enough about it from Stacey and her crew when we get home. They won't leave me alone about it, I bet. I want to forget about this whole situation for a while..." Sam listened and nodded, pulling her hand back through the window and handing Hayden back the iPod. "Sorry 'bout that..."

♬ They sat together in comfortable silence for a few minutes, looking out at the sky through the wind-shield. After a while, Sam pointed at a cloud, "...dog." Hayden looked to where her finger lead and smiled, "Nah, that's a deer," she countered, remembering how they'd said the same thing only a week ago, while waiting in line to buy tickets to Marianas Trench concert before this whole Josh-fiasco started. Then she turned and looked fondly at the tour bus. Her life had order before she'd met Josh. She got up and went to school, kept her head down and spoke only when spoken to, never really cared what other's thought. Now, she was skipping school to go on adventures like tour-bus-stalking, she spoke without thinking about what she was saying, and she couldn't get him out of her head. Josh changed her life in only one day, when she'd been trying to turn her life around for three years to no avail. As much trouble as she'd gotten, or will get, into because of him, she couldn't get enough of it. Sam looked over at Hayden through the corner of her eye and grinned. Hayden now had a mile-wide smile as she stared after the bus, and Sam was overwhelmed with the happiness her best friend had finally found. "...Heyyy, whatcha lookin' at?" Hayden gasped and whirled around to look at Sam, who grinned back at her. Laughing, she said "Who do you think? Not Matt, of course!" Sam blinked, then turned away in a huff, face pink and arms crossed playfully.

♬ Sam's face lit up when she looked across the street to the Starbuck's and four figures ran across the lot to the bus. They boarded quickly, and they pulled out just as quickly, as if they expected some fans to magically appear from nowhere and stampede after them. Sam hit the gas and followed them, ignoring speed limits as always. Hayden wasn't afraid this time, she just buckled herself back up and laughed. But the girls soon realized the bus was headed toward a large stadium. "Um...I think they're going to a concert. Dang, I don't have tickets." Hayden shrugged, "Well, I'm hungry anyway. We might as well eat and hang out while we wait" Sam nodded sullenly, she must have really wanted to go see them in concert. "Sorry, Sam. You didn't get a chance to hear them live, after all." Hayden apologized. She pointed to a Ruby Tuesday's only a block away from the concert, and they pulled in the lot and parked. "Well, I'm fine. They probably aren't that great live, anyway," Sam said, faking she didn't care. Hayden chuckled and got out and headed toward the resturaunt doors while Sam mumbled sadly behind her and tried to catch up.

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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- The boys entered the Starbucks and lined up. Josh read through the menus over and over again, yet couldn't think of anything he wanted. "Hey bro, what do you want?" Matt asked, breaking Josh out of his day dream. "Huh?" Josh asked. Matt rolled his eyes and pointed at the cashier, who was staring patiently at Josh. "Oh um. I don't really want anything" Josh murmured, then walked over to one of the large, cushy chairs and plopped down in it while he waited for the others to finish ordering. He sighed and looked around, hating the fact that he had to leave his sunglasses on, even though people were still giving him strange looks, even with them on. Josh sighed once more and closed his eyes, letting his thoughts take him anywhere they wanted to go, smiling as random words came together to create sentences, or lyrics in his mind, which he was now forcing himself to remember. Then a soft voice from somewhere beside him broke him out of his day dream, and he was faced by a petite blonde girl, who looked about 14. "Excuse me Josh. Do you have a minute?" She asked him softly, moving closer as he pulled off his sunglasses, her blue eyes wide, and her hands shaking. "Sure, what's up?" He asked, gesturing to the chair beside him with his head. She smiled and sat down on the edge of the plush chair, folding her hands in her lap. "Whose Hayden?" She asked softly. Josh's eyes widened and then he sighed. "She's a friend." Josh said. The girl nodded, but then looked back at Josh, sadness in her eyes. "Like, a girlfriend?" She asked. Josh suddenly felt bad for the girl, who obviously had a small fan crush on him. He sighed again and pulled the cap off, fixing his hair before putting it back on. "No not my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. Matt just likes to mess around with us, and make stupid jokes like that. I really wouldn't worry about it" Josh said, smiling at the girl as her face brightened up a little. "Um. Can I have your autograph?" She asked. Josh smiled and held out his hand for a pad and paper, which the girl just so happened to have in her backpack. He quickly signed his name, and looked up at Matt, Mike and Ian, who were now standing over him, their eyes switching from him, to the girl and back to him. "We uh. We gotta get going" Matt said. Josh handed the note pad back the girl and smiled, then stood up. "Josh?" She said quietly, as he began to walk away. He turned around and looked at her questioningly, then smiled as she held out her arms. He walked back over and gave the girl a small hug, then followed the rest of the boys out of the Starbucks, dashing to the bus in case anyone else recognized them.

-X- Josh yawned as the doors of the bus closed, and made his way to one of the plush couches they had on the bus, plopping down into it, then flicking on the television. Matt sat down beside him and handed him a can of Coke Zero, which Josh took graciously and cracked open, while Matt surfed for something to watch. Josh took a couple sips, and then allowed himself to get caught up in whatever stupid celebrity gossip show Matt flipped on, feeling giddy and light headed as he watched, only taking small notice when a picture of himself popped up on the screen, the host of the show once again talking about the mystery girl he had been walking with, and now the name "Hayden" being spread across the internet, through Matt's video. Matt looked apologetically at Josh, although everything was starting to look blurry, and Matt's words didn't seem to make sense as he spoke them. "Josh? Josh? Yo, Josh. I'm really sorry about all this Hayden stuff. I really only meant it as a joke. Please talk to me?" Matt said, but Josh just nodded his head, his eyes feeling droopy and heavy, as if weights had been tied to them. He took another sip of his coke, then looked of the window, noticing the same car that he'd seen the day before, in the reflection of another car's mirror. He frowned in frustration, wishing he knew who could be in the truck that appeared to be following them, but shook off the thought. Other people must have the same car. That's common. People always have the same cars. That must be what it is. It much just be a super popular car. Yeah, that was it. Who would want to follow them? They weren't very interesting, really. Josh nodded to himself, and muttered something along the lines of "Yes. Mhm. That must be it", earning him an odd look from Matt, but Josh just stared at the television, trying to figure out what the host of the gossip show was saying about Britney Spears, happy that they had now moved on from Hayden. He didn't want people making Hayden's life difficult. He wanted Hayden to be happy. Even without him. She probably was to. Why wasn't he happy? He frowned again and shook off the thought. He was happy. Although, it did seem strange that it had only been a day, and he already missed Hayden. He sighed, his eyes feeling more, and more droopy as thoughts of Hayden swirled around his head. She was pretty. Very, very pretty. And that was the last thing Josh remembered thinking.

-X- The bus jumped a little, causing Josh to wake up. He rubbed his eyes, seeing the sun just going down, so that the sky had that nice, periwinkle-ish purple colour he loved. Josh his fingers through his hair and looked over at Mike, Matt and Ian, who were all sitting around eating McDonalds. He sat up, a thin blanket falling off his shoulder, which someone must have placed on him while he was sleeping. "Burger for Josh?" He asked, his voice sounding innocent and sad. Matt turned around and chuckled, and pointed to a brown paper bag on the counter, which had the McDonalds logo on the side of it. "Over there. We got you large fries instead of medium with it, because we know how much you love the fries. And because you haven't really eaten anything today." Matt said. Josh smiled and stood up, his mouth watering at the thought of fries. He really was hungry, and the fries were his favourite thing from McDonalds. Matt knew him all too well. "What time is it?" Josh asked, as he unwrapped his burger. "About 6. We stopped off at the stadium and dropped off our s**t, so that those tech guys could set up. All we have to do when we get back is sound check, and we're good to go." Matt said, smiling as Josh took a big bite of his burger. Josh nodded and smiled, taking a sip of his coke, which was now flat, but still had the yummy coke taste Josh loved. "Sweet. Why didn't you guys wake me up sooner?" Josh asked. Mike shrugged and continued eating, as did Ian. "We were going to, but you seem to be getting hit by the affects of touring more then us. We stand there and make you sound good. You run around, doing crazy jumps and s**t, and make us look even better. Your mom says you'll crash so hard that you wont recover for a few days if we don't let you rest" Matt said. Josh nodded and bit into a fry, happy that his mom told them to let him sleep longer. Sleep was definitely something Josh needed lots of when on tour. Josh sighed and took another long sip of his Coke, and looked out the window, looking in the side mirror of another car to see if the truck was still behind them. Luckily, it wasn't. Which just told Josh that all the worry and paranoia of being followed was really no big deal.

-X- Josh smiled as the bus stopped along the side of the stadium finally, and all four boys climbed out, running into the side door, to avoid the paparazzi, which were all lined up, waiting for the boys to show up. Josh walked straight to his guitar and picked it up, turning on the amp before he made his way back to centre stage, where the mic labeled "Josh R" stood. Josh smiled and turned on the mic, then ran his fingers across the strings and smiled as the sound of his guitar filled the empty stadium. "Feels like it's been forever since we played." Josh said into the microphone, realizing just how much he loved being on that stage. "Josh. We're doing sound check. Please play something so that you can change before people start coming in" A bored tech guy said from the lighting booth. Josh pouted and begin strumming, playing the intro to 'Perfect' with Matt, then Ian, then Mike, then Josh stopped, then Matt, then Ian, until only Mike was playing. Then Josh started playing again, and the rest did as well, and Josh sang into the microphone, smiling as the guy in the lighting/sound booth turned up his microphone, so that it could be heard over the music. Once they'd been given the 'okay' they all made their way back stage, to check out the dressing room. "Lame" Matt said as he stepped in, dropping the duffel bag on the counter. "Ugh. Even lamer" Josh muttered as he dropped the garment bags on the small, uncomfortable looking couch. Mike and Ian both laughed as they walked in as well. "Pathetic" They both murmured, then began pulling things from the duffel bag, as Josh and Matt started unzipping the bags which held their clothes. Josh and Matt then began getting dressed, Josh in a plain white t-shirt, a suit-vest, and black slim jeans, and Matt in a plain black t-shirt and blue jeans. They looked at each other, then nodded, and made their way to the mirror, while Mike and Ian began getting their clothes on. Josh flat ironed whatever hair was sticking up, while Matt brushed his hair, so that it was laying flat. Then they looked at each other, and then behind them and giggled childishly as they realized the other two had left, probably to watch the other bands. "So uh... You know... I'm sorry for getting on your case about Hayden, and stuff. I can see why you like her" Matt said, as the two of them stood, leaning against the counter. "It's fine. And I can see why you like Sam. She seems nice. Bubbly, like you" Josh said, smiling as Matt looked at him, in shock. "I don't like her. We just... I just... Y'know. I like to flirt" Matt said. "Mhmm" Josh said, raising his eyebrow at Matt. Then Matt sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up again. "Okay fine. I like her. We got along really well. She's easy to talk to, and she's my kinda pretty" Matt said. Josh laughed and rolled his eyes. "It's always looks, looks, looks with you, isn't it?" Josh said, as he pushed off the counter and made his way to the door. "not at all. I said all that personality stuff first, didn't I?" Matt said, following Josh out the door.

-X- Josh jumped up and down on his tip toes as he waited for the other band to finish, so that he could get on stage, and play. It really did feel like a long time since they played, even though it had really only been two days. When the opening band finally finished, the four boys all ran onto stage, excitement in Josh's eyes as he stepped up to the mic, and pressed his lips against it. "Good evening Winnipeg. How are you all doing tonight?" Josh asked, smiling as the crowd responded with cheers, then they launched into their first song. The rest of the concert went smoothly, Josh talking here and there between every song, even taking the time to chat with certain fans. He told a few stories about stuff that had happened, or inspirations and experiences which lead to most of the songs Josh had written. Then Josh decided to finish the set with "Lover Dearest" which was about a small problem he had when he was a bit younger. "Sometimes I wish you would leave me. Woah, I'm not sick of you yet, is this as good as it gets?" He sang, closing his eyes, so that he could put emotion into his words. He continued to sing, until he got closer to the end, when he decided to open his eyes, and look at the audience, who were all waving lighters and cell phones as he sang. "And it hurts me to say that is hurts me to stay, and it might be alright if you go. It hurts me to say that I want you to stay, but it might be alright, if you go. So leave me, woah I'm not sick of you yet, is that as good as it gets? I'll just hide it, woah I could slip into you, it's so easy to come back into you" He sang, hanging his head as he finished, then he lifted his head, and smiled as the audience broke out into cheers, and the boys took small bows, and ran off stage. Once they'd changed into comfy t-shirts and jeans, Josh staying in his slim black jeans and white t-shirt, with just a loose sweater added, they made their way to the stage, to begin putting all the equipment away, and in the bus. Luckily, a lot of it had been done already, and mostly all they had to do, was carry everything outside, and load it onto the lower compartments of the bus, which was usually used to luggage, not music equipment.

-X- After everything had been packed up, the boys all loaded onto the bus, flopping down in random places so that they could be comfortable while they waited to arrive at the hotel. Josh stood up from the couch he had been laying on, and made his way to the front of the bus, where he stood beside the driver. "Heya Josh. How'd it go tonight?" He asked, keeping his eyes on the road. Josh shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair, making a mental note to himself, reminding him to stop doing that so much. "It went good. I had a really long nap earlier, so I was nice and energized. The crowd was great" Josh said, covering his mouth as he yawned. The driver laughed, still keeping his eyes on the road, as he continued to converse with Josh. "Must wipe you out pretty good though. All that runnin' around and such." The driver said. Josh laughed and rubbed his eyes. "Ha ha, yeah. I'm actually really looking forward to getting to the hotel. I'm.... So tired. How much longer?" Josh asked, looking in the mirrors as he listened to the driver speak. "Maybe 10 more minutes?" The driver said. Josh nodded, and continued to stare at the mirror, as he watched the same truck following behind the bus. "You see that truck there?" Josh asked, pointing to the mirror. The driver looked, and nodded. "Whaddabout it?" He asked. Josh sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, not realizing he had done it. "I swear it's following us. I've been seeing it everywhere we go" Josh said. The driver nodded, his expression becoming grumpy. "Well. We're at the hotel now, so... I'll get security to check it out." He said, then pulled up in front of the hotel, Josh watching as the truck pulled into a dark, deserted parking lot across the street from the hotel, parking in shadows so that it was almost invisible. "Nice" he said, then grabbed his bag of stuff, and made his way off the bus with the rest of the boys. Him and Matt dropped off their stuff in the room, Matt immediately going to take a shower. Josh walked over to the desk, and pulled out a piece of the hotels note paper, and pen and wrote Matt a quick message.

Matt,
Went to grab something to eat. Totally starving after show. Don't wait up.

-Josh

Then he grabbed his lyric book, which had a hard cover, and carried it in his hand, in case he needed to use it for self defense. Clutching the book carefully in his hand he set off across the street, and towards the truck, which he could see faint movements in. Calm down Josh. Calm down. he thought to himself, taking deep breaths as he crossed the lot, wishing he had brought Matt with him. When he finally got close to the truck, he took a huge intake of breath, and then tapped on the closed window of the passenger seat, feeling his pulse quicken as the window rolled down. "Hey um. Why are you stalking us... Hayden?" He asked, his eyes widening as he realized who it was. Then he smiled and stepped away from the door a little bit, in case she wanted to get out, which he hoped she would. Then he looked past Hayden, and noticed Sam sitting in the drivers seat. Matt would be happy about that. "What are you guys doing here?" He asked, his tone coloured with disbelief and happiness, and he looked back at Hayden, whom he missed greatly, even though it had only been a day since he'd been last seen her. Maybe it was fate...

{{OhhOhhCee: Proof read it. Yaaay. There may still be mistakes, so don't hit me D: }}

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

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♬ Hayden and Sam stood in the restaurant lobby for a few minutes while they waited to be seated, Sam whistling some made up tune and Hayden swaying a bit. The waiter called for the Valois party-- Valois was Sam's last name-- and lead them through the crowded and stuffy room to a small booth in a corner next to a window. Sam crinkled her nose and glanced at the man disapprovingly. Flustered, he looked at his table chart and began searching for a new table, but Hayden grabbed Sam's wrist and forced her into one side of the offered booth. "Thank you, this is fine" she said, slipping into the the opposite seat and giving Sam a warning look. The waiter nodded unsurely before walking off to another table. Sam, arms crossed, raised a rebellious brow at her friend, earning her another look. She gave up, and Hayden sighed before picking up a menu. Sam copied her before glancing up to the ceiling, eyes wide. "...Um, Sam? What's up?" Hayden asked slowly. Sam just shook her head and pointed in the direction she was looking. Hayden turned around and glanced up and noticed one of various tvs in the restaurant hanging above the booth behind them. "Ok, Sam, I know that's a tv," Hayden said, about to turn around and roll her eyes. Then the message dancing across caught her attention. The tv was tuned in to News Channel 12, which was displaying the video of her and Josh walking down the street. The headline read 'Hayden: One-Time Hook-up? Or Secret Girlfriend?' With a groan, she swivled back into her seat and pressed her head to the table. Why can't they just leave us alone? Stupid paparazzi, don't know when to drop stuff. Man, I'm soooo hearing about this in school...she thought morosely. Sam reached across the table and patted her shoulder.

♬ The waiter returned with a notepad, stopping in front of the table and leaning slightly on the edge. He licked his pen tip before jotting down a few notes. "Good evening, ladies. What can I get for you?" he asked absent-mindedly. Sam looked at Hayden and smirked. Hayden gazed back for a moment before catching on, Sam was going to do something either stupid, dangerous, or just plain rude. About to protest, she half-stood, but it was a bit too late. Sam looked up at the poor, unsuspecting man with eyes that could fill any man with desire. "Um...I kinda think I wanta get some of you," she replied with her sexiest voice, while Hayden sank back to her seat and stared at her friend in amazed horror. The waiter, still distracted, jotted down the inappropriate order before pausing to realize what she'd said. He eyes grew wide and he stared down at Sam like she was crazy. But then he got a good look at Sam. What with her long blonde hair that swift and glowed like strands of gold, her wide green eyes peering up at him, looking stunning even in a simple tee, Hayden was surprised the poor guy didn't cave in right then. "U-um, excuse me?" Sam smiled coyly, "Oh, you heard me," and scooted to the edge of the booth and leaning closer to him. Hayden slapped her head in her forehead, and the motion must've brought the waiter back to reality, because he quickly turned to Hayden and asked again, still nervous, "W-what can I get for you?" Sam rolled her eyes and sighed irritatedly before picking up her menu again to scan the salads. "Two cokes, one buffalo wing basket with fries, one cesear salad, and a brownie sundae," He looked at Sam warily, still a bit dazedly, though, before copying her words and running off for the drinks. When he was out of earshot, Hayden hissed across the table, "What was that for?! You know perfectly well what happens when you do things like that. Poor guy, he's probably hyperventalating in the kitchen about now!" Sam grumbled something about having a little fun, but Hayden wouldn't have it. "I'm not going to make you, but you'd better apologize for that. That was sexual harassment, you know." Sam nodded with a sarcastic smile, "Yes, Mother." Miffed, she turned to gaze out the window.

♬ When someone came with the drinks, it was a different waiter. But this guy seemed more like the attacker, than the attack-ee, like Sam. He had fair hair that swiffed identically to Sam's, with warm brown eyes that would have drawn even Hayden in if she wasn't already half in-love with Josh, and a smile rivaling Sam's. His confidence told Hayden the other guy had shared his experience with Sam, the earth-bound goddess, and now he wanted his share. Sam continued staring out the window, even after the man, his name tag said 'James', hovered around the table, staring at her. Hayden nudged her under the table with a foot, and nodded her head in his direction. Sam glanced over boredly, glanced back at Hayden with another grin, and fainted boredom. She returned to staring out the window, leaving 'James' a bit wilted. Hayden gaped at Sam with contempt. She mouthed, "Sam, what're you doing?? It's not nice to play around with people like this!" 'James' sweeped around the table for a bit before trotting back over to try again. "Sooo, you ladies need anything?" he directed at Sam, adding emphases on anything. Hayden almost gagged at the corniness. Sam looked at him from the corner of her eye before staring at Hayden. "No, actually, we aren't hungry anymore. Could you get our things to-go?" 'James' stared, then nodded sadly and turning on his heel to retreat to the kitchen. Hayden glared at her friend, upset with her. How mean! But that was Sam...

♬ Sam and Hayden headed back to the car a few minutes later, hauling their steaming food in little styro-foam boxes. Hayden didn't say anything as they got into the truck again and Sam pulled out of the lot, chasing down the tour bus again. In fact, she didn't say anything the rest of the ride. She quietly stared out the window, eating her fries and sipping her now brownie-and-icecream soup. Sam didn't say anything either, and drove and drove. They'd driven for a long time before Sam pulled over in some gas station. Hayden glanced in the rearview mirror and saw the same hotel room from the night before, tour bus parked in the back again. But she also saw a figure walking toward them, and something was in their hand. "Oh...oh my god. Sam..." Hayden stammered, face draining of color for fear. Sam checked the mirror and scoffed. "Psht, that's just Josh. Not some rapist." Wait. Josh? Hayden's heart-rate sped. Her face colored red now in shame. She'd been caught stalking. By Josh Ramsay, the last person on earth she wanted to see her like this. There was a knock at her window, and she reluctantly rolled it down. "Hey um...Why are you stalking us...Hayden?" Josh said, sounding shocked when he saw Hayden in the passenger seat. "What are you guys doing here?" Hayden, head down, pointed at Sam, who shrugged. "I'm stalking Matt, and I thought Hayden here might want to tag along to stalk you, so I kidnapped her," she said calmly, taking a swig of her coke, like she'd said something any ordinary person might say. Hayden smacked her arm, embarrassed. "She duct-taped me up and shoved me in the car!" Glaring at Sam, Hayden did her best to drain the hot-red from her face. "A-and I wasn't stalking you! I...I mean, yeah, I wanted to see you, b-but I'm not a stalker!" she added desperately, turning to look out the window at Josh. He probably thought she was just another crazy freak-fan, and Hayden couldn't bear to think of how her heart would break if he shunned her now. She gazed pleadingly up at Josh, not wanting him to think bad about her, willing him not to, willing him to believe her.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh continued to stare at the girls in disbelief, trying to hide how happy he really was that Hayden was actually there. he began to laugh as Sam full on admitted that they had been stalking them. He smiled sheepishly as he noticed Hayden's face turn bright red. He found it so adorable, that he was tempted to reach of and brush her warm cheeks with his fingertips, but he stuffed his hands in his pockets instead, smiling as Hayden looked back up. "You wanted to see me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, trying his hardest not to show how ecstatic that made him. He wasn't the only one that was missing the other. Then he winked at her and smiled. "Don't look so ashamed. I've seen people do worse." He said, then he stepped forward again, wrapping his fingers around the handle on the car door. He opened it carefully, afraid that if he pulled too hard, the old rusty door would fall off. Then he leaned inside the car, reaching over Hayden to unbuckle Sam's seat belt, and then Hayden's before he straightened up, and smiled. "C'mon guys. You're a far way from your home, and no way am I gonna allow you two to sleep outside in a truck. Plus, it's freezing. I'll get you guys a room" He said, nodding toward the hotel across the street.

-X- Josh smiled at the two of them as they got out of the truck, and then fell in step with them, matching their pace as they all made their ways to the hotel. When they got to the curb, Josh waited until the street was totally clear of cars, and then grabbed Hayden's hand with one hand, and Sam's with the other, and pulled them across the room. Smiling as he skipped up the front steps of the hotel, he ran his fingers through his hair, once again not even realizing he'd done it. Josh held the door open, waiting until both girls had gone through before he went through as well, then led them to the front desk, pushing on top of the small bell, then turned to look at the two of them as he waited for the manager to come and ask Josh what he needed. He frowned, then rubbed his head, before straightening his face once more. "I'll get you guys separate rooms. I'm pretty sure after two days of being alone in a truck, you two are sick of each other" Josh said, laughing a bit, before he turned and explained the situation to the manager. "They weren't supposed to meet us until tomorrow, in the next City, but then their plane got in early, so they drove down here. We didn't have any time to make a reservation for them, are there any rooms that aren't being used, near mine?" Josh asked in an innocent voice. The manager nodded, and typed something into his computer, before looking at the two girls, not really sure what to make of them. "Is one room needed, or two?" he asked Josh in a polite voice. Josh smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Two, if you can" Josh said, giving him a smile. The manager sighed, and typed something into the computer, before grabbing two room key cards.

-X- Josh smiled, and said a quick thank you, before pulling the girls towards the elevator. He pressed the 'up' button and then looked at the room numbers on the cards, handing Hayden the one closest to his room, hoping the two wouldn't notice how he set it up. He smiled as the elevator dinged, and then stepped on, holding the door so that it wouldn't close on the two girls as they stepped on as well, then pressed the number their floor was on, and whistled the tune to the new song he was writing, trying not to let it show how awkward he felt around Sam. She was so open, about everything, even if it was embarrassing, that it made Josh uncomfortable. Like at any second she would turn to him and say 'You're really uncomfortable with me. You like Hayden. You switched the room keys so that Hayden would be closer to you, and your pet peeves are when people wear white pants and black underwear'. Josh broke out of his thoughts as the elevator dinged, signaling that they were at their floor. Once again, Josh put his hand in front of the door, so that it wouldn't close until the two of them were out. Then he walked to his door, and slid the key in, turning the handle as the little light turned green, telling him it'd been unlocked. Then he leaned against the door and smiled at Hayden, then Sam, and then Hayden again. "G'night. I'll be knocking on your doors nice and early, so don't stay up to late." He said, then slid through the door, and was met by Matt, who was standing almost right in the door way, hands on his hips.

-X- Josh closed the door, and smiled sheepishly at Matt, who raised an eyebrow at him. "Who was that?" Matt asked. Josh shook out his hair, and then pushed it out of his eyes. "Hayden and Sam. They followed the tour bus" Josh explained. Matt's eyes grew wide, and a small blush formed on his cheeks when Josh said Sam's name, causing Josh to raise his eyebrow at Matt. "Oh cool" Matt said, dropping the topic and making his way to his bed. "You like Sam, don't you?" Josh asked, understanding why he would, since they were pretty similar. "Good night Josh" Matt said, crawling under the covers. "Matt! Answer me!" Josh said, pulling off his sweater. "Okay fine. I like her. So sue me!" Matt said. Josh smiled and shook his head, pulling his t-shirt off as well. "Nope. I just wanted to hear you admit it" Josh said, then grabbed his towel and made his way to the bathroom, where he finished stripping down, and took a fast, hot shower. Once he was done, he dried off, and pulled his pajama pants, on, hanging up his towel so it could dry over night, before he had to pack it again. Then he walked carefully through his and Matt's dark room, taking a couple seconds between steps to figure out what was around him, so that he didn't walk into anything. Then he climbed into his own bed, and closed his eyes, snuggling up under the covers.


-X- After about half an hour of tossing and turning, Josh finally sat up, admitting defeat against his brain, which had so many thoughts floating around it, that he couldn't even begin to relax. He rubbed his eyes, and slid out of bed, walking over to the small pile of clothes he had beside his duffel bag of stuff, and pulled on a plain white t-shirt, and socks, before making his way to the door. Josh yawned as he stepped into the disturbingly quiet hallway, and walked quickly to Hayden's room, knocking on her door, just loud enough that she would be able to hear it if she was still awake. Josh was almost sure she wouldn't still be awake, but he couldn't sleep, and really only wanted to talk to Hayden. Josh smiled sheepishly when Hayden opened the door, and pointed inside her dark room. "Can I come in?" He asked. When she agreed, he stepped in, and took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the light. "Don't turn on the light. There's a door connecting your room to Sam's, and she'll be able to see it through the crack between the floor and the door" He said, making his way to Hayden's bed, which he sat down on, smiling. "So... If you aren't totally dead... Wanna talk? If you're too tired, I can go back to my room..." Josh said, not really wanting to go back.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

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♬ Hayden sighed with relief as Josh shrugged off her stalking him with a wink. He said he'd seen worse. Josh then opened the truck door and leaned over Hayden to unbuckle the girls' seatbelts, sending Hayden's heart into overdrive at his closeness. After he'd stepped back out into the street, he invited the two to stay in the hotel. Hayden, wanting very badly to say yes, looked over at Sam pleadingly. But Sam was giving her that same look, so they both smiled and got out to follow him across the street.

♬ At the curb, Josh paused before looking both ways, hands out in front of Hayden and Sam, protecting them from oncoming traffic. Hayden giggled at his over-protective look, he was always such a gentleman. Although it was apparent that no cars were coming, Josh took the girls' hands as they crossed, and Hayden gripped his hand tightly. But all too soon they reached the other side of the street, and Josh released their hands and ran up the hotel's sleek steps. He ran his fingers through his hair, Hayden loved it when he did that, before holding the door open for her and Sam. Inside the air-conditioned lobby, Josh lead them over to the consierge desk, where he rang the bell to signal assistance. An employee popped up in front of him shortly and asked what he needed. Josh paused and turned back to Hayden and Sam and said, "I'll get you guys separate rooms. I'm pretty sure after two days of being alone in the truck you two are sick of each other," he finished with a laugh. He turned back to the clerk and explained the "situation" (he lied), but not before Sam interjected, "I'll say! This one here nearly talked my ears off in that stuffy truck!" Hayden rolled her eyes. Josh was given two card keys and he turned to head for the elevator. Hayden and Sam followed, and Josh passed them the cards as the elevator doors closed behind them. Looking at her card, she had room number 149. What floor is that? Am I near Sam? What number is Josh's room? Am I near him, too? Questions swam in Hayden's head as she stared at the card before she sighed and pocketed it. As she glance up and Josh, she noticed his distance. He was leaning against the far wall, as distant from Sam as he could possibly be. That's ridiculous, Sam's nothing to worry about. I mean, I was the person stalking him, so why's he freaked out about Sam? Before she got a chance to ask him, the elevator doors dinged and opened to the next floor, and they all filed out.

♬ After walking down the hallway a bit of a ways, Josh paused before room 152. He pulled out his own card and slid it through the lock before leaning on the door and smiling. "G'night. I'll be knocking on your doors bright and early, so don't stay up too late." Then he disappeared through his door and left Hayden and Sam to find their rooms. Sam walked down to the left a few doors over and slid her card through her door, number 147, and went inside. Hayden looked at the room next to hers, room 149, and followed suit. That's when she noticed how close her and Josh's rooms were... Her room was directly diagonal to his. With a smile, she stepped inside and shut the door and began exploring her suite. Turning to gaze at the place, Hayden marveled at the beautiful decor, the large television, and the gorgeous view outside the window. From the next room over, Hayden could hear Sam doing the same. "OMGod! I love this color blue! It's like the sky. Oh, oh! And check out the bath tub!" Hayden laughed before opening a closet door to see what else she ould find. But there wasn't a closet behind the door, but another hotel room. "Hey, Sam? Did you know our rooms were connected?" Hayden asked, still laughing. It took the girls a few minutes to settle in, and they decided to hang out for a while before going to bed.

♬ Hayden thought it best to bring up Josh's strange behavious in the elevator then. "Hey Sam, did you do something to Josh? He was kind of avoiding you in the elevator..." Sam giggled, "Oh that? No, I didn't do anything... I think. But maybe whatever he's freaked about had something to do with why you got the room closer to his. I'm pretty sure he did that on purpose." Hayden flushed, excited by the thought. "No he didn't! It was coincidence. Besides, you're just jealous that I got this room 'cause it's closer to Matt." Sam chuckled, "Alright, you got me." Then she yawned and rolled off of Hayden's bed, picking up her purse and pulling out two pairs of pj's. "When did you-?" Sam just held up a finger before throwing Hayden a pair and retreating to her own room. "G'night!" Hayden stared after her friend for a moment before sighing in defeat. Sam was so unpredictable, it was never boring around her. Hayden took a quick shower before putting on Sam's pj's. She left her hair to air dry, and as she began cleaning up the bathroom, she heard a soft knock at her door. Buttoning her pj blouse up to decency, Hayden cracked open the door quietly and asked, "Um, hello? Who is it?" It was Josh. He pointed inside and asked to come in. Who was she to leave him out there in the old hallway?Flustered a bit, she mumbled, "Ah...sure. Come on in." She opened the door wider as he stepped in and took a seat on the bed. With a smile, Josh said, "So...If you aren't totally dead... Wanna talk? It you're too tired, I can go back to my room..." Hayden held up her hands and rushed "Oh, no no no! I'm not tired. It's ok. So, what's up?'

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh shook out his still damp hair, and grabbed one of her pillows, hugging it in his lap as he stared at her. "I don't really know. I just can't sleep. I tried but... My brain can't seem to slow down long enough for me to get calm enough to sleep" He murmured, his blue eyes scanning the dark room. Then he raised an eyebrow and ran his fingers through his hair. "I actually have a question... Well... Two." He said, pausing before he continued. "The first is... Why would you guys even bother following the bus? As you can see, we really aren't that interesting..." He said, his eyes scanning the room once more, before he looked back at Hayden, hoping his question wasn't too direct. He sighed, as he realized that the question probably wasn't the best one to ask, seeing how embarrassed she was when he found them in the gas station parking lot, but yet he still wanted to know. He also wanted to know what they did while they followed the bus. Who they saw, what they ate, what they did to keep themselves busy, where they slept. Josh sighed, and looked back at Hayden, before putting the pillow back in it's place. Then he scooted up, so that he was leaning against the wall, the soft pillow between his back and the cold wall.

-X- Josh looked up at the ceiling, then over to the window, before finally asking his second question. The second question is... What's up with Sam? I mean... The way she looks at people... It's as if she can tell everything that's going on inside their heads. And she's so open, that it's kind of scary for me... Y'know?" Josh said, feeling like he also needed to explain his behavior from the elevator. "Oh, and why don't you have any bags or anything? Like... Clothes and stuff?" He asked suddenly wondering what the two of them had been wearing for the past two days. He listened as she spoke, staring at the ceiling once more, wondering what the stars looked like right about then, but sadly the multiple floors on top of the one they were on, and the dry-wall ceiling made it difficult to tell. He also didn't want to get up to check out the window, since it may have been rude to just get up while she was talking. When she finished Josh smiled, and looked back down at her. "Something I think I'll do, is start a chain of hotels that are totally glass. Like, the outside walls, and the ceiling. They'll only have one floor, and then people can look at stars while they fall asleep. It'll be called 'Le Denato Ramsay'" Josh said, smirking at how stupid the name sounded. Then he sighed, and went back to questioning Hayden. He wanted to know more about her, so that he couldn't just say he liked her because she listened to him rant. He wanted to know their common interests. Josh folded his hands in his lap, and crossed his legs, staring at Hayden in a very serious, and professional way. "Okay miss... Hayden" Josh said, only realizing then that he had no idea what her last name was. "I have a couple more questions for you. They are quite basic, 'cause I just wanna know some stuff about you. Like common interests and stuff. And I want you to be totally honest, no matter how embarrassing it is. Ready?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her, once again hoping he wasn't being too direct.

-X- When Hayden said she was ready, Josh launched into his questions. "First. Favourite colour, number, word, and band?" Josh asked, listening to the answers before he launched into his next set of questions. "Favourite celebrity, song ever made, biggest regret, biggest accomplishment?" Josh asked, hoping he wasn't getting to personal, especially since he planned on getting more personal then that. Then he stated on more questions, hoping that she would ask him questions as well. He wanted them to know stuff about each other, and he wanted them to be open with each other. "Something that made you happiest? Something that made you saddest? Something that makes you laugh, no matter how many times you hear, or think about it?" Josh continued, smirking as he continued to shoot questions at her. "What has made you blushed hardest in the past month? What has made you so giddy and excited that you felt high? How many relationships have you been in since the day you were born, to right now? Who was the biggest crush you've ever had? What makes you nervous? What gives you confidence? What/who do you hate, and why? Whose your role model and why? If the world suddenly died out, and only you and one other person lived, who would you want that person to be, and why? What would you want to keep with you and this person at all times? Favourite outfit? Favourite brand? Uhhh... And what's your last name?" Josh said, realizing that he had been asking questions without even waiting for answers. He smiled sheepishly at Hayden, and leaned forward, waiting patiently for her to answer every question he asked, a small impish smile on his face as he listened to all her answers.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

♬ Hayden patiently waited until Josh asked every question he could think of. At first, she tried mentally answering them as he spoke, but there were too many questions and she lost track of them, so she gave up. Finally, Josh paused to gain his breath and smiled sheepishly, and Hayden had to smile. "That's a lot more than two questions." She contemplated all the questions she remembered for a moment before answering. "Well, question number 1: Sam, for some unknown, probably random reason, decided that she wanted to see Matt some more and wanted to stalk the tour bus. I wouldn't let her, I mean, we'd already skipped school that day, and stalking is illegal! So she tricked me and tied me up and took me away. I'm serious, Sam kidnapped me. But I got free eventually, and Sam wouldn't tie me up again, I know. She said she wasn't turning around now, and that if I wanted to get home I was on my own. So I just stayed with her. Now...I...can't really say that I didn't want to be there, because...I did. I...all I know is that I really missed you guys," She added 'guys' to hide her embarrassment," So technically I was stalking you, too. I'm...kinda expecting you to run away anytime now.' She finished solemnly, looking down at her feet. But she piped up again, continuing, "Oh, and you guys are very interesting...I guess. Wow, that came out weird...Sam and I saw Matt's videos on youtube. Matt is so funny!" She laughed at the memory of Matt tricking Josh into burning his hand. "And how's your hand? Does the burn hurt?"

♬ Hayden didn't wait for an answer, sort of copying Josh. "And about Sam...I don't know how she does it. She simply knows everything. It's crazy! For example, a few minutes ago she pulled two pair of pajamas out of her purse for us to wear. How did she know we'd need pajamas?? When did she put them in her purse?? Or does she just carry them around all the time?? I guess that she's just very observant or maybe she's good at guessing...?But Sam has always been like that. That's why I'm glad she's my friend, because when I was...going through my 'silent time'...she always knew what I wanted to say or how I was feeling." Hayden smiled, she loved Sam. Sam was like her sister, she understood everything about her and didn't judge or poke or make fun of anything. She was a girl's dream-friend. Then she laughed at the clothes question. "Sam took care of that. Of course. We originally planned to go to your concert together, but complications came up for Sam, so she couldn't make it. We packed duffel bags full of stuff for the trip, and apparently Sam left her bag in the truck, so we had changes of clothes and money for food. We slept in the car, but Sam's seats are comfy, so it wasn't too bad..." Hayden watched as Josh sort of zoned out, looking at the ceiling. He suddenly smiled and told her about a hotel he'd like to open, 'Le Denato Ramsay', made entirely of glass so customers could gaze at the stars at night. Hayden sighing as she imagined such a beautiful place. "...I'd go to that hotel. It sounds absolutely wonderful..."

♬ But Josh didn't stare at the ceiling for too long, he went right back to interrogating her again. "I have a couple more questions for you. They are quite basic, 'cause I just wanna know some stuff about you. Like common interests and stuff. And I want you to be totally honest, no matter how embarrassing it is. Ready?"And Hayden noticed that she didn't mind. She...she actually wanted him to know about her, she wanted him to know everything. Maybe the more Josh knew about her, the closer they'd get. "Ok, shoot." She smiled, waiting until Josh quieted before answering. "Color: gray. Number: 2. Word: lyric. Band: Marianas Trench & The Fray. Celebrity: Patrick Swayze. Song:...I think it's the one you recently wrote, actually. I can't get it out of my head," Hayden looked up at Josh as she answered the last question, small smile in place. It was true, that song, she hadn't known the name so she just called it 'Good To You', had been stuck in her head ever since she and Josh sung it together.

♬ "Well, anyway...Regret: the year I spent in silence. Accomplishment: helping my brother win his science fair (he got first place, you know). Happiest I've ever been: when my brother was born. Saddest: when my mother died. Something that makes me laugh: when Sam puts straw in her mouth and acts like a walrus, don't ask." Hayden paused for a breath, but Josh shot even more questions out. At Jos's next question, though, she froze, red creeping to her cheeks yet again. "Ah...th-that would be..um...c-could I skip that question?" If she answered that, it would be so obvious that she liked him. Hayden hadn't blushed so hard in her life until she met Josh, actually. Moving on to the next question, she rattled off, "Things that make me giddy? Well, I was pretty excited to go to the concert...Does that count? Relationships: sadly and pathetically, none. Guys in Greenbrier have high standards. Biggest crush: Um...in the past my biggest crush was probably on Tyler. What makes me nervous: snakes and spiders. I. Hate. Snakes. And. Spiders. What gives me confidence: Sam. Things I hate: Back to snakes and spiders. I can't stand the feel of scales, and spiders creep me out. They're like vampires, they suck out the insides of all their prey." She shuddered, thinking about the poor bugs trapped in the spider's web. " Role model: Mitch, my dad. He's very kind and generous, he knows people. Not like Sam, she just knows. Mitch...he understands. Person to be stuck with: there are too many, all for completely different reasons. Mitch, because he's outdoors savy. Sam, because she could keep my from going insane." You, because I'd die from missing you She thought that last one, keeping it to herself for then. She'd have to tell him sometime, because these chance-meetings and such wouldn't go on forever. "I'd keep photo albums of my life with me, so I would never forget, even years after everyone else was gone... Outfit: the shirt I was wearing earlier. I just love that color blue." Hayden smiled as se completed her list and sighed. "And my last name is McKenzie."

♬ Then she grinned mischieviously before looking up at Josh and saying"And what about you? What's your least favorite color? Where were you born? When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Are you happy with your current occupation? Who's your very best friend? Do you have any pets besides Lucy? How old is Lucy, anyway? Where do you go when you can't go anywhere else? What's your favorite restraurant?" She wasn't done yet. "How did you meet Matt? When is your birthday? What things do you hate? Love? Do you have any fears and why? Who's your favorite band? Do they inspire you? What're your hobbies? What costume did you wear last halloween?" Now she was messing with him, coming up with random questions. But she did want to know. Anything she knew about him made him less like a dream, made him more real. She still had a hard time believing that he was sitting there, talking to her. "Who do you look up to and why? If you were stranded on an island with one person and one object, who and what would they be? What's your favorite holiday?"

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh laughed as Hayden answered the first question, then frowned ” I’m not going to run away… I told you, you’re like… The one person other then Matt I can be completely honest with. Plus, it’s nice to be missed” Josh said, smiling at Hayden, then began laughing again. ”Although, it is funny that she had to tie you up” Josh said, laughing harder as a mental image of Hayden being tied up and taped to the seat of Sam’s truck popped into his head. Then Josh blushed as Hayden brought up the youtube videos, and buried his face in his hands. ”The youtube videos!” Josh mumbled incoherently into his palms, then removed his hands from his face, and sighed. Then he waited until Hayden answered the second question, before speaking again. ”That’s kind of what me and Matt are like… And my hand is fine, actually. My mom put ice on it back in the bus, so it’s better. I pulled my hand away fast enough that it didn’t do any real damage” Josh murmured, blushing once more as he realized that the video where he burnt his hand, was also one of the videos where he had no shirt on.

-X- Josh laughed as she answered the first round of questions, and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Gray is your favourite colour?” He asked, still laughing. Then when he finally controlled himself, he raised an eyebrow at her and smiled. ”Marianas Trench. Those guys suck. I’ve heard better from 4 year olds” Josh murmured, his smile growing larger. Then he pouted and allowed his blue hair to fall into his eyes. ”I was kind of hoping I was your favourite celebrity. Hayden, I’m hurt.” He said, then smiled as she brought up ‘Good to You’. ”Yeah, I like that song…” Josh said quietly, then stared at Hayden’s leg as she continued to answer the questions. Once again Josh was a little sad that she hadn’t said him, but then again, why would she? He hardly knew her, and the most they could do was talk, make each other blush, and sing. Then he looked up at Hayden, and went back through her answers, trying to come up with comments to say back to them. ”…You’re so weird. Why would you even think about spiders sucking bug’s insides out. That’s such a guy thing to think about. Surprisingly, I’ve been terrified of all bugs since I was 7. There’s a story for that one, remind me to tell you later” He murmured, and thought about Matt’s camera. Maybe he should take some pictures with Hayden, in case he never saw her again. Josh sighed, at the thought of never seeing Hayden again, and quickly pushed the thought out of his head. ”Photo albums. Nice choice. I would have picked a guitar, to be honest. Then again, I write my songs from my experiences, so they kind of are my photo albums” He said, giving her a smile.

-X- Then a mischievous look formed on Hayden’s face, and Josh’s eyes immediately grew big. Josh laughed as Hayden went through her list of questions. Josh took a moment to go through them all, making sure he knew basically what he wanted to say, then sucked in a big bunch of air, and started answering. ”My least favourite colour is pink, because it’s just so… Pink. I was born and raised in Vancouver. After the kindergarten fireman police man stage, I realized that I could never pull off any job, other then musician, because I had this problem, where I could never stay still, and I liked to talk, and joke around a lot. I am very happy with my current occupation, because I get to spend tons of time with my best friends, I get paid quite a lot, just for having fun. And I get to travel around the world, meeting cool people like you.” Josh said, taking another minute to catch his breath, and to go through the next couple questions in his head. ”My best friend is Matt. We have no other pets other then Lucy, but I would love a rabbit. Um… Lucy is about a year old. I often go to parks. Like, if I can’t sleep at night, I’ll go to a park, and just hum out tunes on a swing or something. My favourite restaurant… McDonalds. Cannot beat their fries” Josh said, his face going serious as he spoke. He shook his head slowly, as if paying respect to McDonalds, then smiled at Hayden, and winked again, then began answering the questions again. ”Matt and I went to high school together, and we were both on the Choir. My birthday is June 10th. I hate fans that think they love the band when they actually only like 3 songs, fans that try to steal my clothing, media reporters who try to find out every aspect of my personal life, and then when I finally tell them, they change the story up, and when my guitars break. I love ice cream, Coke Zero is my addiction, being in the band… Making new friends and making people laugh. I’m always afraid of going on stage, and getting booed off, because we work so hard for what we’ve gotten, and how far we’ve gotten, and I don’t think people really understand just how difficult it is for us. I’m also afraid of the band breaking up, for the same reason. We worked so hard, it’d suck if we had to let it all go. I have a ton of favourite bands, and all of them inspire me. My hobbies are singing, writing, playing music, I often help produce other band’s albums. Umm… I love dancing, even though I’m terrible at it. I’d love to try acting. Like, being in a movie or something. And I didn’t dress up last Halloween. I knocked on people’s doors and said ‘I’m Josh Ramsay’ and they gave me candy.” Josh laughed, remembering how a bunch of people actually thought he was wearing a Josh Ramsay costume. ”However, every year that I actually dress up, I was a ghost. Like, a sheet ghost. I’ve always had this huge obsession with Charlie Brown” Josh laughed. Then he went back to thinking, as her next question was a bit more challenging. ”I probably would have to say I look up to my parents. I mean, my mom gives vocal lessons to greats, and my dad actually runs a recording studio, which is actually what helped me get into music, since I grew up being surrounded by it, so definitely my parents. If I were stranded on an island with one person, and one object, it would probably be… Well… It’s between two people and a cat. Here’s why. It’d be between Lucy, Matt and you. Lucy, because she’s my baby, and I love her. Matt because he’s my best friend, and you because you’re so amusing that I would never get bored. And the object would be a guitar, as I said before. For every single option. There’s so much you can do with a guitar…” He said, thinking about what it would be like to be stranded on an island with Hayden. Then he shook off the thought and answered her last question. ”And my favourite holiday, is Christmas” He said, smiling like a 5 year old.

-X- Josh took a deep breath when he finally finished, and raised an eyebrow at Hayden, leaning forward so that his elbows were resting on his knee’s and smiled impishly. ”I answered every question honestly. Now… Back to the question you skipped. You have to answer it. I wont judge you. What has made you blush the most in the past month?” He asked, keeping his blue eyes on her until she answered. Then he leaned back against the wall, and began to play with the hem of his shirt. After a couple minutes of silence, he looked back up at her and smiled. ”Ready to hear my story?” He asked, brushing his hair from his eyes. Then he smiled at her once more, and waited until she said she wanted to hear it before he began his story.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

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♬ While Hayden was answering Josh's questions, she chuckled at his snide comments. Things like, 'gray is your favorite color?' or 'you're so weird! That's a guy thing.' "Hey, gray is a beautiful color, Marianas Trench does not suck, and you're my friend. You can't be my favorite celebrity unless I treat you like a celebrity, right? I prefer you being my friend," Hayden retorted, pretending to be offended. Then it was Josh's turn to answer her questions. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before sucking in a breath and going through her first round of questions. She grinned at his fireman-policeman stage. "I bet you'd make an awesome fireman. I can see it now... But being a musician sounds fun too. I've always wanted a chance to bust out of my sleepy town and explore a bit." Josh continued answering then, and Hayden listened until the end this time. Once he'd finished, Hayden added,"Ha! You think I'm weird? You're the one with the obsession with Charlie Brown!" But her laugh faded when she was about to answer her last question. Josh was right, he'd been completely honest with her and answered every question. It was kind of unfair that she'd skipped one, all because she was too worried about Josh's eraction. Coward, she grumbled to herself, and then she sighed. "Ok, something that's made me blush the most within the last month..."

♬ "Well, that would probably be when I watched the videos Matt posted on youtube. He...um...you guys mentioned me in one of them." she finished, cheeks flooding again at the memory. She fiddled with her fingers as she waited to hear his response. It was kinda stupid, that that was the answer, but it was really only the answer because Josh had given the camera a strange look, like he knew what Matt was about to say. Did that mean he already knew about her crush on him? Was he just playing around with her? Or was he covering up how he actually felt, that he felt betrayed or something? She sighed and tried to shake the image out of her head. "Ok, so what's the story behind your fear of insects again?"

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh looked down at his leg and smiled when Hayden said he was her friend. He liked to be thought of as someone’s friend, especially someone who wasn’t Matt, Ian or Mike. Then he lifted his head, turning the smile towards Hayden. ”I’m glad you think of me as a friend” Josh whispered, then slid down, so that he was laying totally down, with his head resting on Hayden’s pillow, and his legs draped across her lap. Then he smirked and brushed his blue hair from his eyes. ”I would make an awesome fireman, despite the fact that I’d probably be the one starting the fires.” He said, chuckling. Then his face grew serious, and he raised an eyebrow. ”Simple little Hayden wants to break free? Whadd’ya gonna do? Rebel against your school? Maybe Starbucks… Get on the news, then when you get enough money, fly to Vancouver and ‘break’ into the MT household. Then, when people finally start to notice you, sing a song about how amazing I am” Josh said, his face totally serious the entire time. ”That’s how I did it” Josh said, his face still totally serious, until he couldn’t keep it straight any longer, and he finally burst out laughing. ”I’m kidding! I’m kidding! It depends on what kind of exploring though. I mean, if you want to explore musically, the best thing to do is just keep working at it. That’s what we did. We played the most s**t-tastic gigs ever, for like, two years, until we finally got signed. Just make up some demos and send ‘em out. The worst that’ll happen is they’ll say no. At least you’ll know you tried. And if you just mean exploring in general… Just… Grab Sam and go somewhere. Bring money, clothes, and maybe some non-perishable food, and just… Drive. That’s kinda what touring is like, actually” Josh said, smiling.

-X- Then Josh pouted as she brought up his Charlie Brown obsession, and crossed his arms on his chest. ”kay, lil missy. I’ll have you know, that back in my day, when the dinosaurs roamed, Charlie Brown was the coolest thing around. There was this guy, in my Chem class, who looked like Charlie Brown, and he got all the ladies. From the chess club. I chucked footballs at his head, to get back at him” Josh said, smiling. Then he sat up, and pulled his legs from her lap, crossing them. A small frown settled on Josh’s lips as he listened to Hayden explain the thing that had made her blush most in the past month. ”I really am sorry about that” Josh said, sighing. He rubbed his face with his hands, before continuing. ”Matt was really just joking around… Me and him had this thing, right before tour started… I told you a bit about it. How I wanted to meet a girl that liked me for just me, and not what I am. So really, it wasn’t anything about you. It was more about me. He likes to tease me about every girl I know, even if we’re just friends. I really hope that you aren’t gonna get in any trouble for that. We can take it off youtube… if you want” Josh said, hoping he didn’t sound like an idiot. In his own opinion, he thought what he said made no sense, but he just shook it off, and smiled at Hayden, hoping she wasn’t actually angry with them about anything.

-X- hearing the last thing Hayden said, Josh smiled and folded his hands in his lap. ”Okay, so the reason why I’m so insanely afraid of… Bugs… Is because of Matt, actually. It was April fools day, and he told me that ‘his mom’ invited me for dinner. After we ate, Matt’s mom asked if anyone wanted pie. So, I was all for it, but Matt said he was too full, and that him and I would eat it later. So we were up in his room, for about an hour, just playing video games, and writing and stuff, and then Matt said he was ready for pie. So he said that he’d go get it, and I said it was fine, and waited in his room until he came back. So, he gave me the piece of pie, which looked like your everyday blueberry pie. I took maybe, two large mouthfuls before I realized it was moving… I had put live worms, and ants from his backyard into the pie, and since I’d eaten it so fast, I hadn’t noticed the off taste…” Josh said, shuttering as he recalled the memory, then he looked up, a sheepish smile on his face. ”Once I realized it was moving, I started screaming obsessively… Matt’s neighbors actually called to ask if they were torturing his dog… I did not stop screaming for 5 whole minutes. Once the taste hit me, I stopped screaming, and threw up all over Matt’s room… Ever since then, I’ve been afraid of all bugs… That’s why I don’t go camping. Ever.” Josh said, shuttering again, then he smiled, and leaned back against the wall once more, sliding down until he was comfortable. A yawn escaped his lips, and before he even realized it, he was passed out, asleep.

-X- The next day-X-

-X- Matt woke up to the obnoxious sound of the clock radio beside his bed buzzing, signaling him that it was time to get up, and get on the road. He sat up, and glanced over to Josh’s bed, yawning. ”Josh, geddup” He murmured. Once he had rubbed away the sleep, and his eyes had focused, Matt gasped to see Josh was no longer in his bed. Matt sighed, and stood up, making his way to the bathroom, to find it dark and empty. ”Josh?” He called, walking over to Josh’s bed, to see if it was warm. Frowning as his hand brushed the cold sheets, Matt sat down, discarding any thoughts of Josh already being up and dressed, and just being out to wake up the others. He grabbed his cell phone, and pressed ‘1’ which was Matt’s speed dial for Josh. Sighing again, Matt pressed the phone to his ear, and waited as he heard the dial tone, then gasped, and jumped up as he felt Josh’s phone vibrate underneath him. Grumbling, Matt picked up the little black device, and stared at his own name, which was flashing on the small screen. Matt hung up his own phone, and got dressed, only leaving out a pair of black slim jeans, a white t-shirt and a navy blue zip up hoodie, for Josh, before he packed up both of their stuff. Then, once he was dressed himself, he brushed his hair and teeth quickly, and made a quick call to the front desk. ”hey, can you tell me what room Samantha is in?... She’s with the Trench party. Uh huh. Okay, thank you” Matt murmured into the phone, then hung up, and grabbed his room key, before making his way to Sam’s room, which was just a little ways down the hall from his own. Knocking lightly on the door, Matt leaned against the wall as he waited for Sam to open it. Once it finally did open, Matt smiled, and stepped in. He put his room key in his pocket, and pulled Sam farther into the room, before he wrapped his arms lightly around her waist, a mischievous smile playing across his face as he leaned in a little closer to hers. ”This is something I’ve wanted to do since the first day I met you” Matt said, his voice low, before he leaned in all the way, and pressed his lips against Sam’s.

-X- The light coming through Hayden’s hotel room window finally hit Josh’s closed eyelids, causing the male to wake up. He opened his blue eyes slowly, giving himself time to adjust to the light before sitting up. Josh brushed his hair from his eyes, and looked down at his body, which was tangled up in sheets. Leaning forward, Josh unwrapped the sheets from his leg, and looked about the room, before gasping as his eyes fell upon a passed out Hayden, who was laying next to him. ”s**t…” He muttered, as he realized that he’d passed out while talking to Hayden the night before. Getting up slowly, Josh swung his legs over the side of the bed, and waited until his feet were securely on the ground before he stood up, removing the rest of the tangled covers from his body. Then he made his way to Hayden’s bathroom, and combed through his hair with his fingers, happy that his hair wasn’t sticking up like it usually did. Letting out a happy sigh, Josh slipped out Hayden’s room door, stuffing one of her socks between the door, and the door frame, so that he could get back in once he was done in his own room. Tip-toeing quietly, Josh slipped into his own room, and headed straight to the bathroom, where he brushed his hair properly, and brushed his teeth. Then he walked into the main room, and frowned as he saw that Matt wasn’t there, and that all their stuff was packed. A small smile rested on Josh’s lips, as he noticed a pile of clothes, with his cell hone on top, resting on his pillow. Josh opened his phone, and opened a text from Matt.


To: JoshR
From: MattW
Received: 8:42AM
Josh. Dude, ********? Nice dippin’ from the room. Call me when you’re up. Just exploring the hotel a bit.
-Matty-cakes

Josh laughed as he read the way Matt signed his name, and snapped his phone shut. Matt can wait Josh thought to himself, pulling the clothes on, then sliding his phone into his pocket. Once he was ready, Josh made his way back to Hayden’s room, smiling as he saw the sock still jammed between the door. He opened the door slowly, and stepped in, closing his eyes as he did so, since he heard movement. ”S’just me Hayden. You decent?” Josh called, putting his hand over his eyes. Once he’d been given the approval to open his eyes, he removed his hand, and opened his eyes. Then stepped farther into the room, smiling at Hayden. ”Sorry I left without saying anything. I wanted to get dressed and stuff before you woke up. Man, I’m really sorry I fell asleep in your room. I had no idea I was so tired.” he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Stretching like a cat, Josh let out a small sigh, and looked straight into Hayden’s eyes as she sat down beside him. A small blush formed on Josh’s cheeks, and he looked down at his hands, twiddling his fingers before he looked back up at her. ”Look. Uh… Hayden. I know we’ve really only seen each other 3 times… But every time we do, it’s just like we’d been apart for years, instead of days, or weeks. And every time I do see you, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, and like I can trust you with anything, and everything.” He murmured, sighing as he looked back down at his hands. ”Point is, even though I probably shouldn’t, and I probably shouldn’t even be saying anything, after all the trouble I’ve caused you… I really, really like you. I feel like you’re the only person that really understands, and listens to me. Even more then Matt. You’re pretty much exactly what I was looking for when I told Matt that I was still looking for my ‘special someone’, which was someone who saw who I was, and who listened to what I said, other then what they thought my lyrics said…” Josh said, taking a pause, to swallow the sadness in his throat. ”Now… That being said, I know we can’t be together… because not only am I sure you would never like someone as messed up as me, but also because I’m always busy. I’m always on the road, and I’m always going to be in the spotlight… Which isn’t something I want to put on you. The media are like sharks. They even smell a story, they will attack it, and rip and pull at it, until there’s absolutely nothing left of it. I really don’t want you to have to deal with that. Ever” Josh said, brushing a tear away, before it could escape from behind his eyelid. Then he leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around Hayden lightly, before pulling away and standing up. ”As much as it hurts me to walk away, Hayden… I have to. If I don’t now, I wont be able to. We’ll pay for your room before we leave. Feel free to hang around, and maybe grab something to eat. I’ll really miss you, and I truly hope I see you again.” He said, before he turned around, and left her room without another word.

-X- Josh stepped through the door of his and Matt’s shared room, and saw Matt sitting on the bed, a perky smile on his face, and his eyes bright. ”Guess what?” Matt said cheerfully. ”Don’t care.” Josh muttered, picking up his suitcase from the floor, then handing Matt his. ”I kissed Sam” Matt said, his tone unfazed by Josh’s obvious lack of care. ”Do not. Care” Josh said again, making his way to the door. ”What’s wrong?” Matt said, finally noticing the dark cloud which hung over Josh’s head. Josh let out a broken sigh, and sat down on Matt’s bed beside him, letting his head fall into his hands, where small sobs broke from Josh’s chest. Matt gasped, and wrapped his arm around Josh. ”Dude, what happened?” Matt asked. Josh shook his head, tears streaming from his eyes. ”I have no. ********. Clue” He murmured into his palms, more tears flowing. ”Well start from the beginning” Matt said soothingly. Josh lifted his head, and sniffled, wiping his cheeks on his sleeve. ”Okay, well I couldn’t sleep last night. So I went to Hayden’s room, just to talk” Josh added, as he noticed Matt’s eyes go big. Matt’s eyes went back to their normal size once Josh had clarified, and he nodded, so that Josh would continue. ”So we talked, for a couple hours, and we get along… Really, really well.” Josh said. Matt nodded, and grimaced, as he already knew where this was going. ”And you’re pretty solid about her being your perfect girl, right?” Matt asked. Josh nodded, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. ”And I told her how I felt… This morning” Josh said. Matt gasped, his eyes going wide again. ”She didn’t reject you, did she?” Matt asked in disbelief. Josh shrugged. ”I don’t really know. I more… Rejected myself for her… I told her we couldn’t be together, because of all the complications it would cause her” he said sadly. Matt grimaced and closed his eyes. ”You’re stupid. And too caring for your own good. Once again, you hurt yourself to save someone else.” Matt said. Josh sighed, and stood up, grabbing his suitcase. ”Can we just go? I have some idea’s for the new song. I wanna get on the bus.” Josh murmured, smiling at Matt as he followed behind, both of them carrying their stuff. Then they got onto the bus, Josh sitting with his face almost pressed against the window as he stared at the window which belonged to Hayden’s room, sighing as the bus pulled away. I think I just lost the person I trust most, as a friend He thought to himself, as he stood up, making his way to his room.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

♬ Hayden stared down at Josh's legs across her lap with a flat expression before looking back at him with a raised brow.
"Yeah, I consider you a great friend, but what am I? A piece of furniture?" But she just laughed it off, resting her arms easily on his shins. She began thinking on what she'd like to explore. She didn't think she'd make it far as a musician, her only attribute was her voice, and even that wasn't so hot, but she'd love to at least break out of Greenbrier. See the world, go on road trips, meet new people, see awesome things, go places like Roman, Paris, Tokyo...

♬ Coming back to earth, Hayden giggled as Charlie Brown came back to discussion. "Oh, yes. Charlie-Brown-chess-geek/stud, huh? He deserved a football to the head," she said with a grin. But then she sobered again when they came back to the youtube videos. "Well, I don't think anyone will recognize my name. I mean, even in Greenbrier I'm not exactly well-known. Half the students in my homeroom don't know my name." she mumbled, fiddling with Josh's shoelace. But she didn't stay down for too long, laughing out loud about the reason behind his fear of bugs. "You seriously ate worm pie? Ew! I totally agree, I'd hate bugs with a passion if something like that happened to me!"

♬ But sometime between Josh saying he ran around screaming and him throwing up, Hayden's eyes began to droop. Apparently, so were Josh's, because he lifted his legs from Hayden's lap and leaned against the bed's headboard, closing his eyes. Soon, his slow breathing was the only sound in the room, and Hayden couldn't keep her eyes open a second longer. With an exhausted yawn, she wondered about what time it was, but, too lazy right then, didn't check the clock and laid down at the opposite end of her bed. She grabbed a throw pillow from the floor and rested her head with a contented sigh, and fell asleep immediately.

♬ There was a loud rustling in the room, and Hayden stirred from sleep. "Mmhm... Sam, keep it down..." she mumbled drowsily into her pillow before rolling over onto the other side of the bed, which was warmer. Warmer? Shouldn't it be colder...? Oh, right. Josh had slept there. Then there was a creak and a muffled sound, and everything was quiet again. Hayden bolted upright, eyes wide open, looking for Josh, a flush on her face. Josh had stayed in her room, but he was no where in sight. So, it was a one-night stand...sort of. It's not like they'd done anything. The most physical contact they'd had was josh using her as a foot stool. Hayden, glanced at the door, noticing it was open before her eyes fell on a pair of...was that socks? They were acting as a door-stopper, Hayden grinned. He hadn't left, really. He was probably checking in with Matt and coming back. Why else would he want the door open if he wasn't coming back? Hayden slipped off the bed and into the bathroom to ready herself for the day, and there was a change of clothes in her bag that she hadn't packed before, probably courtesy of Sam. She brushed her hair into place and then her teeth before slipping into Sam's gift, simple skinny jeans and a printed tee. Just as she was packing up her things, there was a knock and Josh stepped into the room, eyes closed. "Ah, come in. I'm decent." She smiled as she watched Josh rest comfortably on the bed and stretch, like a cat. He apologized for crashing in her room, but Hayden just shrugged. "It's ok, I was bushed, too. And you really need your sleep since you're performing again tonight."

♬ Hayden sat beside him then, "Ok, so what's up? Shouldn't you be with the band right now?" Their eyes locked, and Hayden had a bit of trouble thinking coherantly for a moment. Josh got really serious, never looking away from her, and Hayden listened intently to every word. He said that although they'd only met up a few times, he'd really connected with her, like he'd known her his whole life. Hayden couldn't agree more... but when she tried to tell him, her voice failed her, she couldn't say a word. Josh went on again, and what he said next made Hayden draw a blank. Wait, he likes me, too? That... that's a joke, there's no way! Of all the people he's met, how could I be the only person he'd connect with, who'd understand? There are many people that are much more understanding than me... she thought bewilderedly. Her heart raced now, but words still wouldn't come, she couldn't express her own feelings to him, couldn't tell him she felt the same... Not before Josh sadly told her they couldn't be together. He was a singer, always traveling, and she was just a fan, watching him from afar. He was always busy, wouldn't have time to be with her. And the media would eat her alive. Hayden, wiping a tear from her eye, nodded sadly. She couldn't say anything to stop him as Josh got up to leave, because everything he said was true.

♬ The closing of her door gave Hayden her voice ack, and she sat there on the bed, choking back sobs. A knock came from the door, and hoping it might be Josh, saying it was all just a joke, she flew to it and yanked it open. But it was just Sam, dazed grin on her face as she waltzed in passed Hayden. "Helloooooo...How are youuuu?" she asked dreamily. Hayden shut the door behind her and hugged Sam, letting it all out on the girl's unsuspecting shoulder. Still smiling stupidly, Sam patted Hayden's back before asking "Hey...What's wrong, hun? Be happy, like me... Did you know that Matt came to my room this morning? And he even kissed me...yea...It was amazing..." Hayden just mumbled into her shoulder what had happened with Josh Sam, snapping into super-friend mode, looked at her, eyes wide. "So...you're saying he asked you out then dumped himself in the same conversation?" "That-, that's a wierd way of putting it, but yeah." Sam shook her head with a tsk, hugging Hayden comfortingly. "I'm so sorry, Hayden... I don't know what to say to make it better for you."

♬ The two remained like that for another five minutes, Hayden dumping all her sorrow onto a pillow Sam had traded for her shoulder. Hayden shuddered as her tears dried, waiting for the moment she'd feel better to come. Normally, if she cried herself out, Hayden would feel refreshed and ready to take on anything, but that wasn't happening now. Wearily, she walked over to the window by the bed and stared at the tour bus longingly. She almost started crying again as she saw people begin boarding it again, spotting her favorite head of blue and black hair with them. As they pulled away, she placed a hand on the window, as if she were trying to reach out to Josh one last time. Sam, who'd remained silent the entire time, sighed heavily and began packing things into her giant purse. Hayden stayed at the window while Sam picked up everything. Only a few minutes later, Sam pulled the dazed Hayden through the hotel, turned in their key cards, and dragged her friend to the truck again. Hayden wasn't seeing anything, though, she just blindly followed Sam through the halls and across the street, not caring. She sank into the truck seat without buckling herself in as Sam pulled away, in the opposite direction the tour bus had gone...

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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

Slow down now, the secrets out...

╭☆╯Joshua —(••÷[♫♪♫]÷••)— Ramsay╰☆╮

...And I swear now...

...Everything is perfect.

♫♪♫⇝The second the door closed, Josh leaned his forehead against it, slamming his balled up fists against it, leaving each hand at either side of his head. Tears flowed from his eyes, as he thought through everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. Had he done the right thing? Mayb being with Hayden was the best way to protect her from the media, not the other way around. Maybe being away from her would just make things worse, continue her being called “The one time hook-up”, which she definitely was not. Despite the fact that he really had only known Hayden for a small amount of time, he knew that what he felt for her was real, and the only way to make it go away, was to move on, or to be with her. Sighing, Josh crossed the room, and slid open the thick glass of the bus window, sticking his head out. Josh’s eyes narrowed as the cold wind whipped at his face, more tears attempting to escape his blue eyes as he saw a ton of cars behind them, but none of them were Sam’s run-down truck. Another small pain-filled sigh left Josh’s lips, as he realized how much he had just let go. A friend, a girlfriend possibly, although he had never really given Hayden a chance to say whether or not she felt the same. He would be lying, if he said he wasn’t insanely curious of how she felt about him, but it was easier for him. Not knowing how she felt at all. For, if he knew that she did like him, it would have killed him to walk out of that hotel room, if he could have walked away from her at all. Josh flopped down on his bed, grabbing his lyric book from between his mattress, opening it to the page with the new song. Josh glared at the messy paper, feeling a strang, unknown anger towards the stick people holding hands, which he had doodled in the margin as he thought of lyrics. Josh then took the page securely in his hand, and tore it out,, crumpling it into a ball, then throwing it across the room with such force, that it just bounced back to him. Ignoring the ball, which sat on the floor near his bed, Josh laid out on his stomach, and placed his pen against the page, writing the same opening line as the one he had on the other song, then moved the pen from the lines, to the margin, which he stared at for a moment, before images started forming in his head. Josh’s writing style was odd. He always had good ideas and experiences to write about for his songs, but he had trouble just writing. He always doodled when he thought of what to write, and then turned the images into lyrics. Josh narrowed his eyes once more as he thought of the stick people holding hands from the other page, then began to draw, a small, wicked smile forming on his face as he drew a broken heart, then began writing the lyrics again, only this time it described what he was going through, not what he wished for.

♫♪♫⇝After about an hour of working on the song, Josh had it almost completed, but something seemed to be missing. Something, which would tie the entire song together. Josh closed his lyric book, as a small knock on the door removed him from his thoughts, and Matt’s emotionless face appeared in a crack of the door. ”Gotta sec?” He asked. Josh nodded, and he stepped in all the way, walking across the small room to sit on the bed beside Josh. ”Sure, what’s up?” Josh asked, shifting his position so that he sat cross legged beside Matt. ”The record company called” Matt said, his tone sort of cheery, but also a little bit dark at the same time. ”Oh yeah?” Josh said absentmindedly, playing with the cuff of his sleeve. ”Yeah” Matt said, obviously not wanting to get to the point of why he’d gone in there. ”And what’d they want?” Josh asked, trying to push Matt towards the point. Matt let out a small sigh, realizing he’d have to say it sooner or later. ”They’ve been hearing all the Hayden stuff.” Matt said, biting his lip. ”And?” Josh said again, really wishing Matt would just tell him what was going on. ”Annnnnd… It’s causing trauma in the studio. Y’know Carly Rae Jepsen?” Matt asked. Josh nodded, not sure of where the conversation was going. ”Yeah, well… She has a bit of thing for you, and wants to do a song with you. But apparently she’s been causing some s**t, since she thinks you’re secretly dating Hayden, since you never accepted her offer to a duet. When really, the company just never told us about it. So, they finally contacted us about it, and I said you’d do it. We’re passing through her hometown tomorrow, so we’ll do the recording, and then she’ll be with us for the rest of the tour, since the other opening band had to switch off” Matt said. Josh shook his head, as all of what Matt said flowed through his mind. To put is simply, he was confused. ”What does that have to do with her liking me?” Josh asked, being almost sure that he knew where it was going, and he was definitely sure that if he was right, he wouldn’t like it one bit. ”…Well… They’re willing to sponsor you and her as a couple… I know that you’re into Hayden and stuff… But I mean, Carly is hot, and is in the same profession as you. What better way to get Hayden off your mind. I mean… Well, you know what I mean” Matt said, sounding flustered. Josh’s eyes went wide as he listened to Matt speak, and for a moment, he was speechless. And then he was angry. ”What if I don’t want Hayden off my mind? If I go through with this, she’ll think I’m the biggest scam, sell out, liar… Jerk… Ever! And what do you mean, ‘they’re willing to sponsor us’?” Josh asked, his voice low, but intense. Matt sighed, as he could tell that Josh was angry. ”Like… They will make sure that the media stays honest, keep good lawyers on you, in case things get messy, tell people straight up that you’re an item, so that no rumors are going around, and stuff. They also said that if Carly isn’t happy, no one is really all that happy, since apparently, when she gets angry, she gets angry. They say that if she’s making everyone miserable because of you, they’re cutting your contract…” Matt said. Josh’s eyes widened, and his face turned red with anger. ”What do you mean cutting my contract?” Josh growled, his eyes narrowed, and flaming. ”…They’ll take you from the band, but no one else. They’ll replace you” Matt said quietly, and sadly. Matt really did hope that Josh would go along with it, for he didn’t want his best friend to be kicked out of the band that he started. It seemed a little bit… odd. To kick Josh from something of his own creation. Sighing, Josh sat down, his eyes filling with tears again. ”Could this day get worse?” Josh whispered. He was going to continue yelling, telling Matt it wasn’t fair, and that they couldn’t do it. But they could. When he signed with them, he signed a paper saying that if anything went wrong, that they could cut him. At the time, he thought they meant cut the entire band. Not just him, although now it made sense.

♫♪♫⇝Matt looked at his shoes, then pulled a couple pieces of paper from his pocket, and unfolded them. ”Here. The sheet music. You only sing in the chorus, but play guitar all the way through. Starting tomorrow night, you’ll be singing that song on stage with her every night, whether you agree to this couple thing or not. Josh… I know it hurts, but you have to let Hayden go… You did what was best for her, don’t make this harder for her, or yourself.” Matt said, then stood up, leaving Josh alone in his room. Josh stared at the sheet music, knowing there was no way of getting out this. Josh would have to be with Carly, for the sake of the band… He would also have to do this stupid duet, for the sake of the relationship he had no desire of being in. Man, was life getting complicated for him. He sighed, and looked over at his still unpacked suitcases, then stood up, and unzipped both bags all the way. He pulled everything out, laying all his clothes on the bed, before he placed all his other belongings where they were supposed to go. Then he grouped all his clothing by colour, and what type of clothes they were. Josh rolled his eyes at his methods of keeping busy, and walked to the closet, grabbing all the hangers that had been put in, and began putting all the clothes onto them, keeping the clothes in their colour groups. Once he had them all on hangers, he carried them, colour by colour to the closet, and hung them all up, until he had a rainbow in his closet. Josh shook his head, and grabbed his towel, then walked to the bathroom, where he took a long, insanely hot shower. At first, he flinched as the scolding water splashed his skin, but then he got used to it, and just allowed it to calm, and warm him. When the water finally became cooler, and cooler, until it was ice cold, Josh stepped out, and wrapped a towel around himself. Once he’d dried off, and put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, he stared at his reflection. He was well rested after the sleep-over in Hayden’s room, but was also still tired from all the touring, which left him looking alert, but he still had dark circles under his eyes. Sighing, Josh opened the door, and stepped out, only to be welcomed by the smell of pizza. Smiling, Josh walked to his room, hanging his wet towel on a hook on the wall, so that it could dry overnight. Then he pulled on a pair of slim black jeans, and the same sweater from earlier, and made his way to the kitchen, where the other three sat around, eating pizza from a box in the middle of the table.

♫♪♫⇝Once the boys had all eaten, they sat around, discussing what had happened earlier that day, and what the record company said, Mike and Ian both getting angry about the threats. Josh had gotten used to the idea of it by now, although he still wasn’t happy about it. After a long time of just Josh trying to convince them that it wasn’t as big a deal as they were making it, they finally gave up. Although they all still thought it was unfair. Josh stood up, and grabbed a coke zero from the fridge, before making his way to the couch, which he sat down on, and cracked open his coke, taking a sip before he turned on the T.V. Josh sighed as he saw a picture of him, Hayden and Sam holding hands as they crossed the street outside the hotel, which a small quote underneath saying ‘Is Ramsay a pimp, or just interested in one night pleasures?’ Josh narrowed his eyes, and picked up the bus phone, dialing the number on the screen, which was given so that people could call in and ask questions. Josh was put on hold as they host answered another question, and Matt sat down beside him, shaking his head as he saw what Josh was doing. ”I’ve actually spoken to Josh. He says the girl with the dark hair is just his friend. As for the other girl, I have no idea. But I think you should stop talking s**t about him. He’s a great person, and he doesn’t deserve all this attention he’s getting on a subject that doesn’t matter” The girl said, Josh recognizing her voice as the girl from the Starbucks. Josh smiled, and then listened as the next person spoke. ”If I looked like him, I would definitely be pimpin’ it. Hell, I’d be havin’ one night stands, and multiple girlfriends all over the place. I don’t blame him, for takin’ what he can get” a male voice said. Josh scoffed at the television, and rolled his eyes. What the caller was saying was wrong. Hurting people was wrong, and no matter what a person looked like, or could get should matter if it’d hurt people that didn’t deserve it. Finally, they got to his call, and Josh smirked as the hosts eyes widened at the sound of Josh’s voice. ”It’s neither, actually. First off, I do not believe in having multiple girlfriends. It’s sick, and wrong. And ‘one night pleasures’? Do those girls look like prostitutes to you? No. They don’t. They are friends of the band, and that was a crowded street. You would do what you could to protect a friend, wouldn’t you? I’ve done stuff to protect friends… And although it hurts, I don’t regret it. Because in the end, their safety is what matters to me. So yeah, maybe I’m gonna get the media on my back about that picture, but at least I know that neither of my friends died because of me. Go spread lies about people who deserve it, you stupid d**k-muncher” Josh said, then hung up the phone, laughing at the hosts bewildered face. ”Well uh… That being said… I guess we’ll move on” The host said in a squeaky voice. Matt shook his head again, and rolled his eyes. ”You just had to…” Matt said. Josh smiled and nodded, then stood up as the bus stopped. ”I did” He said, grabbing their duffel bag of stuff, and making his way to the side door of the stadium.

♫♪♫⇝Once the soundcheck had been done, the boys made their way to the small dressing room, where the proceeded to get ready for the show. Josh only took off the sweater, leaving on the t-shirt and jeans he had been wearing earlier on. Then he brushed through his hair, and made his way to the side of the stage, to watch the opening band finish their last song. The entire night seemed like a daze, and before Josh knew it, he was on the stage, only faintly aware of the cameras which were filming the entire show, probably for the news of something. ”I never took you for a trick, but sometimes I don’t know what you are. I can take it if you need to take this out on someone. That little b***h with her head held so high, talking s**t and I cut myself so I could feel something I know is not a lie. That one stings a little, I’m always in the middle” Josh said, moving around the stage as if he were on a cloud, his conversations with Hayden, Matt, and the television host all floating around, so much that he had almost no idea of what he was singing. Or how he was singing it. Josh later found out, as they were re-packing the bus… That he sucked. ”Dude… What happened tonight? You’re usually on fire, but tonight… You seemed dazed. You weren’t at all in tune, and you messed up the words a lot.” Matt said, more sympathetically then annoyed, although Josh could tell that both Ian and Mike were a little miffed at Josh for ruining the show. ”Sorry. I felt like a prisoner in my own thoughts. I tried, but they wouldn’t let me go.” Josh said quietly, stepping back onto the bus behind Matt. Matt sighed, and put his hand on Josh’s shoulder as they walked the narrow hall of the bus towards their rooms. ”I understand, I guess. Get some sleep. You’re recording with Carly tomorrow. You don’t want to get cut from the band just because you’re dazed.” Matt said. Josh nodded, and went into his room, putting on his pajamas before exiting his room, and making his way to the bathroom, so he could brush his teeth. Then he walked slowly back to his own room, turning off the overhead light, then closed the door. Josh cursed to himself as he made his way through the dark room, feeling things around him until he finally reached his bed. Once he had found it, he crawled under the covers, a wave of sadness washing over him as he realized how little he was looking forward to the next day, and how weird it was sleeping without the warmth of Hayden sleeping in the spot next to him, as she had only the night before.

[pumpkinqueen4u]

нaץ∂eη ♬ єℓisｅ ♬ мcKｅηzｉｅ

And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

♬ "...Hayden. Seriously, Hayden, get up. Don't make me tickle you awake..." Sam threatened, eyes on the road but the steel in her voice directed at her friend. Hayden grumbled grumpily under her breath, propping herself up on an elbow and lazily running her hand through her bed-head hair. Finally, she sat up completely and pulled her seat into the upright position, buckling herself in for the first time since she'd last been in the truck. "Well, 'morning, sunshine. You sure keep tabs on that internal clock of yours. You know that it's passed noon, right?" Sam added, glancing to Hayden out of the corner of her eye. She nodded after checking the radio clock on the dash, leaning her cheek against the window. Almost immediately after Sam started the truck the night before, Hayden burst into tears again, overwhelmed that she'd had the chance to at least tell Josh how she felt about him but wasted it, too shocked by what he was saying. How could she have let such an opportunity pass? God, I'm such a failure as a girl, she thought morosely. When she fell asleep, she had no idea, but she must've cried herself to sleep. Her cheeks felt stiff, confirming the theory. But Hayden had cried all her pent-up feelings the night before, and she felt as if a burden were lifted from her chest. She didn't feel great, not at all. She still felt like she was empty, but the feeling wasn't as bad now that she'd cried it all out. Hayden didn't understand it, even when she attempted to explain it to herself. That was Sam's forte, the weird and unexplainable.

♬ Hayden sighed, and Sam turned back to the road. She stared out the window, not seeing anything really. She was too wrapped up in her thoughts. All the time she spent with Josh flashed before her like a sappy movie. The encounter, the connection, the small things that began her crush, all that jazz. The sweet moments she lingered on, like when Josh said goodbye and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before boarding the tour bus when they'd run into each other at the Starbuck's in Greenbrier. Hayden smiled at the memory, lightly touching her cheek were Josh had kissed her only days before. What had she gotten herself into, loving possibly the only person she had zero chances with? Someone who, although he wants to be with her too, comes from a completely different world? It was just her luck that the perfect man for her, the only man for her, was the man she couldn't have, no matter what?

Only a day had passed, most of which Hayden had spent sleeping, but she missed Josh so much already. Sam must have been speeding all night, too. In the three days they had trailed the tour bus, it took only one night for Sam to cover over half the distance back to Greenbrier. It wouldn't be more than a few hours until they were home again. Sam pulled over into an Applebee's for lunch, not negotiation allowed, not that Hayden really cared. She had far more important things on her mind than where her meals were coming from. Sam, when their waiter seated them in a booth, didn't start anything, she just avoided Hayden's eyes sadly, her friend's depression sinking into her as well. They ate in silence, listening to the chattering of the animated families and couples around them, dining without a care in the world. The televisions around the restraruant were all playing the local news station, and the latest story was on Marianas Trench, of course. But instead of blocking it out, Hayden's ears perked up as they mentioned something about the band's new record deal, with some singer... Carly Jepsen was it? Josh and Carly were recording a duet in celebration of- Hayden nearly choked on her burger at the image on the screen now, a picture of Josh and a woman, arms linked, posing for the camera with happy smiles. The record was in celebration of Carly and Josh's 'union'. What. The. ****. Eyes round as saucers, Hayden snapped to her feet, scattering her fries across the table and upsetting her coffee. She whimpered indisbelief,"...What?" A waiter came to the table and asked tentatively, "U-um, excuse me, miss. Is something the matter?" Sam, alarmed by Hayden's fit, whirled round in her seat and leaned her arm on the back of the booth, straining to get a better look at the television, and when she did, Sam's eyes were even larger than Hayden's. Hayden just staerd dispairingly at the screen and sank back to her seat, crushed. "...No, nothings wrong. Everything is just... peachy."

♬ "Oh, my god. Hayden! I'm so sorry. I... I'm so sorry," Sam whispered to her friend once they'd left the restruarant and climbed into the truck. Hayden said nothing, just stared blankly ahead through the windshield, praying to herself for God to smite her right then and there. What was that all about? First, Josh leads her on, then confesses to her. Right after that, he dumps himself, claiming they couldn't be together because of their different lifestyles, then the very next day gets a super hot singer girlfriend and a record deal to boot? What was she, then? Chopped liver?! What about Hayden's feelings, huh? Did she get a say in any of this? No, because Hayden wasn't super famous, part of a band, or gorgeous, so of course not! Sam shifted the truck into gear and drove out of the parking lot, silence falling between the two girls. While Sam concentrated on the road (for once), Hayden was fuming! How dare he, mess with her heart and throw her away, like she was just trash! Josh was just a self-centered, attention seeking b*****d after all! Who woulda thought? Not Hayden! Her eyes filled and overflowed with hot, angry tears. Tears of humiliation, rage, and sorrow, dripped and fell onto her lap silently, and Hayden shook with her anger. It wasn't fair! She was the only one feeling anything after all, tortured and depressed as she was, and Josh just got to hang out with celebrities and make even more money than he already did, while all his loving fans doted on him and his face was put in magazines with that sexy singer. Was everything he'd said to her fake?

♬ Then it dawned on Hayden. Josh could very well be just another Tyler, another person looking for a good time, and found that she was convenient to do so with. She was just a fling, whom he threw away like trash when he didn't get what he wanted. He'd betrayed her, Hayden had confided in him, opened up to him, yet he abandoned her, for some preppy singer-chick who wore ten tons of makeup and probably couldn't actually sing but had her voice edited in the studio. The open place in her heart closed then, snapping shut. She could feel the stubborn feeling of her silent year creep back into her, and Hayden knew she probably wouldn't open up to anyone else again, ever. Josh was the one person she could be the real Hayden with, but now he was gone, and Hayden wouldn't be the same way with anyone ever again. Never.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am

[ilyuhh]

Slow down now, the secrets out...

╭☆╯Joshua —(••÷[♫♪♫]÷••)— Ramsay╰☆╮

...And I swear now...

...Everything is perfect.

♫♪♫⇝Something was pushing against Josh’s shoulder, which told him he had to get up. He opened his eyes and groaned when he saw Matt standing over him. ”What time is it?” He mumbled into his pillow. ”6 am. Get up, and get ready. Wear something nice, you’re meeting Carly today. We’re almost at the studio… Like, half an hour. They wanna get the recording done early so you guys can do some interviews revolving your relationship for the late night news.” Matt said. ”6 am shouldn’t be a real time. Nothing is real at 6 am. Carly isn’t real at 6 am” Josh said, then literally fell out of bed, hitting his head on the bed frame as he landed. ”Carly may not be real at 6 am Josh, but she’ll be real when we get there. And right now, your intense bed head is real. Get ready. I don’t want you getting cut from the group” Matt said, then left Josh alone on the floor, rubbing his head in the dark. ”The sun isn’t even up! Why should I be?!” Josh asked to no one in particular. Then he stood up and grabbed his towel, cursing under his breath as he walked through the still dark bus. He rolled his eyes as he made his way to the bathroom, hearing Ian and Mike snore, since they didn’t have to get up early to sing with someone they were being forced to date. Sighing, Josh flicked on the light in the bathroom and closed the door. Then he narrowed his eyes and waited until they got used to the light before he started the shower, and got under the steaming spray. After about 20 minutes to standing under the water, and 5 minutes of actual cleaning, Josh stepped out and wrapped a towel around his torso. Then he wiped down the mirror, which had fogged over from the humidity. Then he pulled out the blow dryer, and began brushing, and blow drying his hair, brushing it upwards in the back, and down in the front, so that it had texture, and looked cooler then if he just left it all going in one direction. Then he sighed, and brushed his teeth, dreading meeting Carly more and more as he continued getting ready. He didn’t want to be with Carly. He wanted Hayden, and he knew that feeling wasn’t going away anytime soon, whether he wanted it to or not. Which he didn’t, although having feelings for her made it hard for him to stay away… Which is what would help Hayden in the end. He didn’t want her getting mixed up with the crazy s**t he was faced with everyday.

♫♪♫⇝Sighing, Josh opened the bathroom door and walked back through the slightly brighter bus, towards his room, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to sing a duet with Carly. He wanted nothing to do with Carly. He wanted to be sitting in a dark hotel room, telling Hayden all his secrets. Josh shuddered with anger, but quickly swallowed it. He needed to get ready before he threw any tantrums. He didn’t want to show up at the studio in his underwear. That would be bad, even if he didn’t give a s**t what this girl thought of him. Taking a couple deep breaths, Josh walked to his closet, and pulled out a pair of red skinny jeans, which Matt had gotten him as a joke. ”Maybe she’ll think I’m gay…” Josh whispered impishly to himself, then pulled the pants on, then a plain black long sleeved button down shirt and converse. Josh sat on his bed, and rolled up the sleeves of the shirt, until they were at his elbows. Then he got up, and looked at himself in a full length mirror, turning around to look at the pants from all sides. They weren’t as bad as he thought. Red was definitely a good colour for him. Hayden would probably think he looked good in them. Hayden… More anger shot through Josh as Hayden’s face appeared in his mind beside Carly’s. Josh looked out the window and saw they were downtown. Downtown wherever they were. Josh didn’t even care. He didn’t care that he had no idea where he was. Despite the amount of times he told himself he wasn’t, he was miserable. He wanted to see Hayden, especially now that he’d told her how he felt. Now he wished he’d stayed to hear what she had said, although he was kind of afraid to find out that she didn’t like him. However, now he wouldn’t know. Carly liked him. That he knew. But he didn’t like her. He didn’t like her at all. He ‘d heard her sing, and he’d seen pictures of her. From what he could tell, she was a spoiled b***h, who was willing to stand by and let Josh get cut from Marianas Trench, and instead of sucking it up, like Josh was. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. It wasn’t even the fact that he had to give up Hayden. He had given her up already, without all this other stuff. Now they tell him, if he doesn’t date Carly, he doesn’t have a record deal. Standing up, Josh took a deep breath, feeling the anger flowing through him, like a live grenade being thrown through the air. It moved fast, and the minute it hit the ground it blew up. And Josh did. ”ITS. NOT. FAIR. ITS NOT. ********. FAIR!” Josh screamed as loud as he could, panting with a look of satisfaction on his face, although his throat was now sore.

♫♪♫⇝Matt, who had been filming Ian eating breakfast for youtube, jumped when he heard Josh scream, and was almost sure that anyone who watched the video would hear what he said, loud and clear. Sighing, Matt turned the camera back to himself, and smiled a little. ”My good pal Josh, appears to be throwing a tantrum. I should go make sure he doesn’t break anything. More later.” Matt said, then he turned off the camera and got up, leaving it on the table. Sighing, he knocked on the door and leaned against the wall until Josh opened it. ”What do you want?” Josh muttered, sticking only his head out of the open door. ”Wanted to make sure you weren’t hurting yourself. What’s not fair? What’s not ******** fair?” Matt asked, his tone emotionless, and little bit mocking. ”Nothing, go away” Josh said, sticking his head back in the door, then closing the door. Matt however, wasn’t giving up that easily. So he just opened the door, and walked in, slamming it behind him. ”Josh. You are slamming doors. Screaming s**t at the top of your lungs, wearing red pants. What. Is. Wrong with you today?” Matt asked, putting his hands on Josh’s shoulders. Josh shrugged. ”I want nothing to do with Carly” He said simply. Matt shook his head, and sighed. ”Josh, you have no choice. I don’t want you getting cut from the band. You’re my best friend, and it wouldn’t be the same without you… if it makes you feel better…. I’ve thought of nothing but Sam since the second I left her room.” Matt said. Josh’s eyes grew wide, shocked. Matt never admitted that kind of thing. And if he did, it took a lot of whining, and poking to get him to. Yet there he was, just blurting it out as if it were the answer to a math problem. ”…It doesn’t make me feel better. Matt, this is a sign. We need those girls. TURN THE BUS AROUND!” Josh shouted. Matt’s eyes grew wide in turn, and he quickly put his hand over Josh’s mouth. ”Are you INSANE?” Matt hissed. ”Has all this stuff made you go loopy? Josh, we can’t turn around. The entire band will be cut. They may not even want to talk to us anymore. Josh… Can we at least finish the tour?” Matt pleaded. Josh was about to object, but something in Matt’s eyes told Josh that he wanted to turn around. That he wanted to go and get Sam, just as much as Josh wanted to go back and get Hayden. But they couldn’t. Matt was right. Even though they both would be happier, they couldn’t. They had to tough it out, no matter how much it hurt.

♫♪♫⇝When the bus stopped outside of the studio, Josh sighed, and rubbed his eyes. ”be happy. I’ll be filming it. Good luck” Matt said, then went back into the main part of the bus to get his camera before him and Josh went outside, and into the studio. Mike and Ian were going to check into the stadium, and grab some lunch for all of them before they met up again to head to the stadium for sound check. Josh sighed again, and grabbed his guitar. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly, then walked through the bus, to where Matt stood. Then both boys climbed off, and walked into the studio, Josh’s heart beating fast, and Matt’s head filled with worry that Josh would do something that got him cut from the band. The two walked through the halls, towards the studio the receptionist told them Carly was in. ”I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I reeeeaaallllyyyy don’t want to do this” Josh muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as Matt took out the camera. ”Be happy, I’m going to start filming” He said, then turned it on, and pointed it at himself. ”So… Here we are, walking through the halls of the recording Studio Carly uses. Her and Josh are ‘bout to start working on their duet, then we’ll be heading back out. You excited Josh?” Matt asked, pointing the camera at an emotionless Josh. ”Oh yeah” Josh said, his voice just as emotionless as his face. Hey, at least he wasn’t pouting, or swearing, or throwing things. ”Hereeee we go” Matt said, opening the door to find Carly sitting on a small couch, strumming her guitar. ”Hey guys. I thought you’d never get here” She said, standing up and walking over to Josh. She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him adoringly. He just stood there, with his arms at his side as she hugged him, looking around at all the platinum and gold CD’s they had hung up on the walls. Finally giving up on getting Josh to hug her back, Carly stepped away, and pointed to a sound proofed door. ”Matt, you have to go sit in there.” She said, looking at Matt, who was still filming. ”Kay” Matt muttered, moving into the other room, still filming Josh and Carly through the glass window connecting the two rooms. Josh sighed and sat on a stool in front of a microphone. Carly then pulled out two sets of sheet music, and gave one to Josh. ”We’re going to do the vocals first, then record just the music, and then put them together.” She said into her microphone, so that the man in the booth would turn on only the music in their headphones, so that they knew times. Josh sighed, and waited until Carly had finished the first verse, and had gone into the chorus before he began to sing as well.

No we went under
The weight was too much to carry in
I felt the thunder
Mr. Don't look so scared
I never knew, I never knew
That I could be so sad
We went under

They sang together, Josh’s voice close to emotionless, although no one could really tell since they were still focusing on Carly. They continued singing the song, Josh wanting to punch Carly every time she opened her mouth. When they had finally finished, Josh grabbed his guitar, and they began to play it.


♫♪♫⇝Once they had finally finish recording the song, Josh and Carly packed up their guitars, and Matt walked back into the part of the studio that Josh and Carly were in, still filming the same video. ”I liked” He said. Carly smiled, and put her arm around Josh’s waist, leaning her head against his arm. ”Thanks.” She said. Josh just stood there, then pulled away from Carly, before walking to the door. ”I’m hungry” He said simply, then opened the door and walked out. Carly shrugged, and ran after him, taking his hand in hers once she caught up him. Matt smirked as he walked behind them, filming only their hands. Luckily, Josh actually responded this time, and held her hand as well, although he didn’t want to. The minute they stepped out of the building, cameras began to flash, and reporters began shouting questions at them. Carly posed for the pictures, while Josh just arched his back a little, and covered his face, not wanting to be seen with Carly, or in red pants. Then carly leaned over to him, and gave him a stern look. ”Pose for at least one picture, please” She hissed at him, then turned back to the cameras, smiling big and cheerfully. At first Josh was taken aback, but then he recovered, and smiled as well, although it wasn’t a real smile. And only Matt would know that. Sighing, Josh pulled Carly away from the crowd, towards her bus, which was parked right behind the Marianas Trench bus. Josh stopped at the door of her bus, and pulled his hand away, although Carly continued trying to hold it. ”This is kind of like you’re walking me home” She said, giggling, then she leaned forward to kiss Josh, who just stepped away. ”Bye Carly” He said, then walked back towards his bus, leaving Carly standing in the doorway of her bus, a bewildered expression on her face. Uncaring of what Carly was doing, Josh got onto his own bus, and walked straight past Matt, who had filmed the entire walking to bus, rejecting Carly thing, and was still filming. Josh bit his lip as he walked, praying he could hold everything in until the bus started moving. Taking a deep breath, and went into his room, and closed the door, locking it behind him. Then he sat on his bed, and looked out the window, so that he would be able to see when the bus moved. When it finally did start moving, Josh held his face in his hands, and began to sob. Everything that had happened from the minute he woke up, to that exact moment, was turning into a nightmare. Everything he did was turning into a nightmare, which Josh wished would just end.

♫♪♫⇝A few hours later Josh woke up. He sat up from his damp pillow and rubbed his eyes. ”Must’ve fallen asleep” he mumbled to himself. He stood up, and quickly fixed his shirt, and pants, then left his room, and walked to the bathroom. Once he was in their, be ran the cold water. Then he held the front of his hair up with one hand, and used the other hand to splash cold water on his face. He yawned, then looked at his dripping face in the mirror. His eyes looked empty and emotionless, and his skin looked pale. Sighing, he dried off his face, and combed his hair, then walked through the bus, trying to find Matt, Mike and Ian. ”Guys?” He called out, ignoring his grumbling stomach as he searched. ”They’re in the stadium already” Carly’s voice said from somewhere, causing Josh to spin around. ”How did you get on our bus?” he asked, his voice totally emotionless as he looked at Carly. ”Matt let me. Said you were asleep, or dead. I said I’d wait for you until you got up” Carly said, her voice as sweet as liquid sugar. ”You shouldn’t have” Josh said, his voice showing that he actually meant that, not that he was trying to be polite. ”Listen Josh. I like you, and I’m wiling to do anything I can to be with you. Even if it means threatening your record deal. You ******** this up with me, and you ******** up your entire career.” Carly said, her voice going from sugary and girly to low and threatening. Josh just stared at her, his face emotionless. ”Whatever. I’m still hungry” He said, almost as if he hadn’t heard what Carly said. ”Matt left some McDonalds on the counter for you” Carly said, jumping up from her sitting position, to sit across from Josh at the table. ”Can you go away?” He asked, his mouth full of fries. Carly gave him a warning look and sighed. ”Don’t make me mad Josh” She said. Josh continued to stuff his face with the still warm food, not even listening to Carly. ”You eat like a pig” She noted after she figured out that Josh wasn’t going to say anything. ”Carly, I haven’t eaten all day. Give me a break” He said, taking a sip of coke between bites. Carly rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. ”Whatever. Hurry up, reporters are outside wanting interviews” She said, then got up and made her way to the bathroom to fix her hair.

♫♪♫⇝Once Josh had finished eating, and Carly had finished touching up her hair and make up, she took his hand, and the two stepped off the bus, where news cameras and reporters stood. Josh sighed, and rolled his eyes as Carly pulled him towards a national news camera, wanting the give them the interview, so that she could be sure as many people as possible could see it. Once Carly had had a little talk with the reporter about what would be said, they went into a different part of the parking lot, so that there wasn’t as much noise. Carly still held Josh’s hand, and smiled at the camera, while Josh just stared off at the cars that passed the stadium, wishing he could just hop in one of them and go back to Vancouver, where he could hide from Carly forever. ”So, today you two are officially pronouncing yourselves as a couple.” the reporter said to the smiling Carly. ”Yes we are. It feels fantastic to not have to sneak around anymore” Carly said, causing Josh to clue into what she was saying. Sneak around? We just met! he thought to himself, the reporter turned to Josh, pointing the microphone at him. ”How long were you two together before you finally decided to go public?” The reporter asked, only Carly answered before Josh could. ”A couple months. Before the tour started anyway.” Carly chirped happily again, while Josh just stared at the camera with emotionless eyes. ”And was it like love at first sight?” They asked, causing Carly to blush and giggle. ”Yeah, kinda. He’s just so amazing, I don’t know what I’d do without him” She said, causing Josh to fill with anger. She was answering all the questions for him, which was making him angry. All he wanted to do, was grab that stupid microphone and yell into it that he didn’t like Carly. That he wanted nothing to do with her. That he liked Hayden, and no one else. No one knew him, or understood him the way she did, and no one ever would. He wanted to hit Carly right in the head with the microphone, and smash the camera, telling them to bother someone else. To get rid of Carly’s lies about the two of them. But he couldn’t… Because then he would let Mike, Ian and especially Matt down. Maybe he’d even let Hayden and Sam down, which was definitely something he didn’t want. ”One last question before we let you guys go, since you have to go on soon, and perform your duet for the first time ever for the public. What do you like most about each other?” She asked. Carly giggled again and looked up at Josh before answering the question. ”He’s so talented, and he’s absolutely adorable. I mean, just look at him.” Carly said, not even mentioning anything about his personality… Then again, how could she? She knew nothing about him. Then the mic got moved to Josh and he answered in one word, still no emotion. ”Nothing” He said, not even realizing what he’d said until it had already left his mouth. Carly stared at him with wide eyes, then slapped him right across the face. ”He’s kidding. Its uh… Its this thing we do, whenever people ask what we like about each other. Haha” Carly said, her voice almost close to unchanged, although it was a bit shaky. Josh just stood there, and looked towards the door, where Matt stood waving at him to come in. ”Well it’s good to have just little things no one else really understands but you two. That being said, you two are adorable together, and we can’t wait to hear the song. We’ll be inside, filming it as you perform, so that viewers that couldn’t make it to the show, can hear the song. Thanks for your time” The reporter said, then they walked off towards the stadium, so that they could get in position in the front row to film. Once the reporter was out of sight, Carly turned to Josh, her eyes narrowed. ”Watch what you say! Are you stupid?!” She hissed at him, then walked angrily towards the stage door.

♫♪♫⇝Josh sighed, and walked towards the door as well, not even bothering to go to the dressing room. Instead, he went straight to the stage to set up two microphones and his and Carly’s guitars. They were doing the duet first, so that the news crew could film, and then move to the back so that they didn’t block anyone. Then Carly was doing her set, and then the boys did theirs. Once he finished setting them up, he tested the microphones, and the amps, saddened as he remembered that he’d done this just a few nights ago, the night he met Hayden. He felt weird, thinking about Hayden so much, but now that he’d told her his feelings, it didn’t seem wrong to think about her anymore. He wondered if she ever thought about him, but he kind of hoped she didn’t. That would make it harder for both of them. Sighing, Josh went back stage, and waited for Carly, and the signal telling them they could go on stage. When it finally came, the two walked on stage, Josh’s face emotionless like usual, and Carly’s cheery, and excited. The two began to sing, Josh staring at his shoes whenever Carly sang, Carly always looking at the camera. Once they had finished, Carly walked over to Josh, and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him. Right as she was about to press her lips to his, he turned his head slightly, just enough so that she only kissed his cheek, but it still looked like he kissed her back. Then he walked off stage, praying that Hayden didn’t watch the news that night. Carly stood there, watching the space where Josh used to stand, unsure of what to make of his rejection, but then she remembered she was still on stage, and made her way back to the microphone and began singing. Then, once she was doneher set, Matt, Mike, Ian and Josh made their way onto the stage to begin their set. They played through the songs with hardly any problems, other then the fact that Josh was singing a little bit flat. It wasn’t that noticeable, but it definitely made them sound a little worse then they had at all the other shows. As they walked off, Matt came up behind Josh and put his hand on Josh’s shoulder, sighing. ”Better then last night, still flat. Dude, come on” he said, then walked ahead of Josh. Josh sighed, and hung his head. He just couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t find the strength to go up there and act as if he was happy, without a care in the world when he wasn’t. The same way he wrote from experience, he sang from his heart. And right then, his heart was broken, and sad. And for that, so was his voice. Not even looking, or talking to anyone, Josh helped load the equipment, then went straight to his room, and changed without even turning on his light. Once he was in his pajamas, he picked up the red pants that he’d worn all that day. And threw them into the closet with such force, that it knocked a bunch of other clothes off their hangers. Then he just threw his shirt on the floor, his anger already being taken out on the shirt, and climbed into bed, falling asleep immediately, with hopes of getting away from everything.