Welcome to Gaia! ::

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So it goes...

This just happens to be a private role play.
Between? Pumpkin and Ilyuhh.
Which means No posting unless you are one of us.
Or else? A member of Marianas Trench will smash a guitar over your head.
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Hey, Im >> [[Hayden Elise McKenzie]]

But you can call me >> [[Hayden]]

There are [[sixteen]] candles on my cake

Apparently, I'm a >> [[Girl ♀]]

I'm the >> [[fan in the relationship<3]]

From past to present >>

[[Hayden grew up in the sleepy town of Greenbrier, never leaving for any great amount of time unless it was on vacation. She first moved to Greenbrier when she was three, but doesn't remember not living there. She got a younger brother, Aiden, when she was seven, and even today manages to ruin her day by hiding her iPod or stealing her favorite CDs. Other than her brother, Hayden lives with her dad, Mitch, who works as a humble electrician. Because her mother died after giving birth to Aiden, her father raised both her brother and her by himself. She loves her father very much, but wishes he would let up a bit on the over protectiveness of his. Her best friend, Samantha, lives a few doors down and has known her since kindergarden. Hayden really loves Sam, they're like sisters with different last names.

Hayden is a regular high school girl, attending Greenbrier High on regular weekdays and hanging out with Sam on weekends, be it at the mall or the skating rink. She has a part-time job at a small smoothie cafe that she works from four to eight at on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Although Hayden only makes minimum wage, she's ok with it, the shop isn't very sucussful so there isn't much she can do about it.

Hayden and Sam both began saving up money a few months ago to get tickets to go to the Marianas Trench concert together. They're their favorite band, and Hayden was so excited when she finally saved up enough for her ticket. Her and Sam waited in line for hours, but they finally got them. Then...Sam's grandmother died. And it was the day before the concert, too! Hayden really wanted to stay home with her friend, but Sam insisted that she go to the concert. She had to go to Nevada for her grandmother's funeral anyway, but there was no point in wasting all of Hayden's hard work right?]]


This is me >>

[[Hayden is a bit reserved, tending to keep to herself if confronted with new people. She's not shy, really, but she doesn't speak her thoughts unless she thinks it's important to do so. Her motto is 'actions speak louder than words', and she holds herself to that. She would rather quietly slip some change into Sam's pocket before lunch than wait for her to realize that she left her money on the bus. She also tries to be patient and kind with everyone, no matter how annoying. Her quiet kindness makes her popular among little kids and a bit distant among her peers. She doesn't have any enemies, although Stacey the local snob is hateful to everyone, but she's nice even to Stacey, thinking that maybe she'll come around one day. Optimistic and gentle, Hayden lives for the present, not dwelling on things that happened in the past.]]


I absolutely love >>

✔ [[icecream, chocolate, rain, sad songs, dogs, listening to her iPod]]


I can't stand >>

✘ [[bugs, carrots, homework, utter silence, being bored]]


Im' terrified of >>

☁ [[spiders and snakes]]


And the puppet master is >>[[eager Is]]
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Hey, Im >> [[Joshua -X- Ramsay]]

But you can call me >> [[Josh]]

There are eighteen candles on my cake

Apparently, I'm a >>Male

I'm the >> Lead singer of Marianas Trench

From past to present >>Josh started high school as an outcast, with no friends, and only his music to keep him strong, and content. Through some events, which Josh can no longer recall, he became friends with a boy named Matt Webb, and together they wrote songs, and music, and by the time they were out of high school, they had created a band.

Little did they know, that after those few awkward months of playing cheap gigs at stuffy bars and cafe's, that they would soon become world known, because of one show that ended in a record deal. They had just walked off the stage at an almost empty gig at a remote bar, in which got almost no customers, and were packing up their van, when a man walked up to them, and offered them a record deal.

Now the boys are selling out in platinum, writting new hit songs every week, and are constantly doing interviews and radio shows. Yet through all the fame, and his dreams coming true, he still feels like something is missing, and that one thing seems to be dragging him, and his band members down.


This is me >> Josh can be a very demanding person at times, although when he is in a calm, content mood, he is often a very pleasant person to be with. He can be very sweet, and loving, and usually has good advice for those in need. Though he was shy when he was younger, he has broken out of his shell, and is now a very social, and comedic person, who is loved by most who know him well.

I absolutely love >>
-X-Guitars
-X-Standing in front of thousands of fans, singing.
-X-Writing
-X-Making people laugh
-X-Warm brownies
-X-Rain storms


I can't stand >>
-X-Extremely hot weather
-X-Being horded, and surrounded by fans
-X-Being called a fake, or a phony
-X-People who treat music like a popularity contest
-X-People only liking the band because they are "in love" with a member.


Im' terrified of >>Josh is afraid of losing his friends, and fans. He is also afraid of going on stage, and having his singing voice come out as nothing more then a high pitched squeal, or nothing. Josh is also terrified of spiders, screaming girls running towards him, and stalkers that plan how they wish to kill him.

And the puppet master is >>ilyuhh
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.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Sweat dripped down Josh's face as he stood, eyes closed. He could hear cheers and claps, and a smile formed across his lips as he opened his eyes. He scanned the dark, foggy room, red cheeked faces smiling back at him. He walked to the front of the stage and leaned down, holding out his hand, as he slowly walked along the edge of the stage, touching his finger tips against those who were close enough to reach him. He straightened up and walked back to the microphone stand, where he picked up his guitar, and turned. He gave Matt, his best friend, a small nod, and then music began to fill the large, crowded room. Josh held the mic close to his mouth. The minute he opened his mouth to speak, the cheers began to get louder, and Josh let out a small, childish laugh, then opened his mouth to speak once more. "You guys are so amazing, although I'm not sure if I can sing loud enough that you'd be able to hear me over the cheers and screams" He said into the microphone, listening to his own voice bounce around the room. He laughed once more as the cheering flared up, and a couple of girls in the front row were reaching out, as if they wanted him to pull them on stage. "I'll do my best, kay?" He said, smiling once more as the crowd broke into more obsessive cheering. "I hope you don't mind, but for our last song, we're gonna slow it down a bit" He said, still amazed that anyone could hear him over the screams, which he got even more of once he spoke. Matt then stopped playing whatever random part of the song he had been playing, and started from the beginning, the soft sound of the guitar floating from the stage to the back of the room. "When your tears are spent, on your last pretense. And your tired eyes refuse to close w, and sleep in your defense. When its in your spine, like you've walked for miles. And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while" Josh sang, his lips pressed against the microphone. The crowd burst into cheers as the percussion, and other band members joined in. Josh continued to sing, a smile on his lips, his cheeks flushed with excitment, and pleasure. "I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you. No body will break you" He sang, taking the mic off the stand so he could walk around the stage. He bent down, and grabbed the hand of a girl who reached out to him, and sang to her for a few seconds, before she burst into tears and obsessive screaming. He laughed, and then continued to sing, making his way back to the mic stand. "No body will break you" He sang, the crowd cheering as the final note left his mouth. He smiled and took a small bow, then watched as his friends took bow's as well. He gave the crowd a small wave, then ran off stage, his breath heavy and his heart beating fast.

-X- Josh entered the dressing room, meeting the smiling faces of his other band members. He clapped hands with Matt, then walked over to the mini fridge, where he grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it. "s**t" He said breathlessly, throwing the empty bottle at Matt as he laughed. "Cold, Joshy?" Matt asked, throwing the bottle back at him. Josh laughed and nodded then sat on the small couch and ran his fingers through his hair. "I shouldn't have thrown my water bottle on the third song. I was so thirsty, I thought I was going to pass out" Josh said, wiping his face with a damp towel that Ian had thrown at him. "I think someone did pass out. You should watch the charm, there Josh. They might not let us play in arena's anymore, if they have to call an ambulence every time" Matt said as Ian picked up a water bottle, chugging it as well. Josh laughed and threw the towel into the small basket they used for things they needed to wash. Josh stood up and made his way to small bathroom, ignoring the cat noises the boys were making behind him. Once he was in the bathroom with the door closed, he ran cold water, and splashed it on his face, using another towel to dry off once he felt awake and less sweaty. Then he pulled off his shirt and changed into a plain white t-shirt, before re-emerging from the washroom. Matt passed him his jacket, and then began throwing things they used to get ready for shows, into a small black duffel bag. Josh fixed his hair in the mirror, and grimaced as he saw Matt shake his head. "What?" He asked, turning around to face Matt as he pulled on his jacket. "Nothing, nothing. Just wondering why you suddenly care so much about your hair" Matt said, as he shoved used towels into a plastic bag. Josh frowned and zipped his jacket up half way, then picked up the duffel bag and put it securly on his shoulder. "My hair means a lot to me. I know Ian's driving, so it'll probably take hours, and hours to get home, but can we try to get home fast? I want some cereal, and my bed" Josh said, holding the door open for Matt.

-X- They made their way across the parking lot, both stopping when they heard girlish giggles from somewhere amungst the cars. Josh looked at Matt and nodded then they both began running at full speed towards the van. "Start the van! IAN! Start the van!" Matt yelled as they ran, turning to see a group of about 10 girls chasing behind them. Josh laughed as he remembered an Ikea commercial, in which Matt's obsessive yelling had reminded him of, then he turned and saw a girl incredibly close to him and began running faster. "Jeez!" He muttered, as she to began to run faster. He began to full on sprint as the van came closer and jumped in as it began to move, Matt right behind him. "Ouch" Josh muttered as Matt rammed into him, knocking both of them to the floor of the van. Mike laughed and turned around, handing each of them a bottle of water. "Sometimes, I love being the less cared about band member" He stated happily, ignoring the dirty looks from both Matt and Josh as the two boys picked themselves up from the van floor, and buckled themselves in, taking deep breaths between drinks of water. Ian laughed as he watched the girls pout and throw their purses to the ground behind them. Josh took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sometimes I feel bad for running, but then I remember, that I actually want to keep my arms." Josh said, ignoring the confused look from Matt. "It was a joke, Matt. What he meant was, he doesn't want screaming fan girls to rip off his arms as souvenirs." Mike explained. Matt laughed and punched Josh's arm. "That's why we run, my boy. Never give into temptation. They do nothing but hurt you, and steal bits of your clothes" Matt said, looking out the window, a thoughtful look on his face. Josh laughed, remembering the one night a girl had actually caught him. She ripped the entire sleeve of his jacket, and shirt off before letting him get away.


-X- Josh looked out the window as the drove, keeping his eye open for any fast food place with a drive thru. He noticed a Wendy's up ahead and opened his mouth to speak, when he caught eyes with Ian in the mirror, and he shook his head. "Why not?" Josh asked, putting his hand over his empty stomach. "Not stopping. Eat something at home." Ian said. Josh pouted and continued to stare out the window, thankful that the glass was tinted, as a group of teenagers eyed the van suspiciously. Josh ran his fingers through his hair as he continued to look out the window, his stomach growling every once and a while. Matt looked over at him, about the fifth time it growled, and Josh gave him an apologetic smile. "Iaaaaaan. Can we puh-lease stop? Josh's stomach is giving me a headache" Matt whined, rubbing his arm as Josh punched him. Ian shook his head and kept his eyes on the road. "Sorry guys. I'm tired. We're almost home" He said, pulling into an alleyway that led them to a private street where they could park the van. Josh's let out a small giggle as his stomach growled again, and Matt groaned. Mike then turned around, and poured a handful of M&M's into Josh's hand. "Now, shut up" He said, before turning back around. Josh poured them into his mouth and chewed happily, taking a sip of water once he was done. "Much better. Why didn't you tell me you had those?" Josh asked, zipping up his jacket more. "Cause I wanted them to myself. However, if you're going to piss everyone off, I felt I could do without those few." Mike said. Josh rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, watching the houses as they passed them. Matt leaned his head against the back of the seat and groaned once more. "Can we unpack the van tomorrow? I'm sooooo tired" Matt said, picking cat fur off his pants, and putting it on Josh. "It'd be pointless to unpack the van anyway. We have another local concert tomorrow night. And will you stop that?" Josh asked, slapping Matt's hand away as he continued to put cat fur on him. "Your cat, your pants. Also, don't we have a talk show apperance in the morning?" Matt asked, leaning forward so that his face was beside Ian's. Josh groaned and picked the cat fur off his pants, throwing it into the air, so it could land where it wanted to. "Jeez, you two are complaining like little girls tonight. Yes, we have a talk show, then concert. So no, we don't have to unpack the van. However, Josh you have to do your laundry before we go to the concert tomorrow, because all your button-down shirts are laying on your bedroom floor." Mike said, rolling the M&M packet into a ball. "Some of those are Matt's. I'll just wear a t-shirt then." Josh said, not wanting to get up at 5 in the morning so he could do laundry. Matt looked at Josh then out the window, smiling as the back of their small, shared house came into view. Josh undid his seatbelt and got ready to open the door, for he knew they would all have to run to escape the people who would be hiding, and waiting for them.

-X- The minute the van slowed, Josh and Matt both booked it out the side of the van, and ran as fast as they could towards the door, Mike and Ian close behind them. Josh covered one side of his face, as someone flashed a camera at him, and unlocked the door as quickly as he could, falling onto the floor as the other three crashed into him. "Ouch..." Josh muttered, squeezing out from between the floor and Matt. He stood up and turned on a light, then walked to the fridge and looked around inside. "We have no food" He said in a sing-song voice as he continued to search through cupboards. Matt walked up beside him, and passed him a box of cereal. Then he got the milk, while Josh got out two bowls. Mike and Ian shook their heads and made their way to their room, obviously not hungry, and obviously very tired. The minute the milk was finished being poured, Josh grabbed a spoon, and began shoving spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth. "Slow down there, tiger." Matt said, slowly putting a spoonful into his mouth. Josh shook his head and continued to eat, while Matt sat beside him, eating small bites at a time. Josh finished his cereal much quicker then Matt, and hit Matt with the spoon as he walked past him. "Oww. Jerk" Matt said, throwing a Corn pop at him. Josh turned and rolled his eyes. "Immature" He said in a flow-y voice, and then made his way to the stairs. He went up, skipping two at a time. Once he was on the top floor, he made his way to the bathroom, where he took a fast, and very hot shower, and changed into his flannel pajama bottoms. Then he brushed his teeth and made his way to the bedroom he shared with Matt, and crawled into his bed. He saw a lump underneith the covers of Matt's bed, and assumed he had already gone to sleep. Josh shrugged to himself, then pulled the covers up to his ears, and fell asleep almost immediatly.


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нaץ∂eη єℓis мcKeηzie
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And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand


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*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* Gooooood morning good morning! It's a lovely Thursday morning, the sun is shi-

A pale arm shot out from under a large gray comforter lying askew across the mattress and slapped down on the snooze button on the radio alarm clock that perched on the edge on the nightstand. "Ughh, wha-?" a groggy voice called as the gray mass shifted, revealing the sleepy head and torso of Hayden McKenzie. Picking up the alarm and bringing it to her half opened eyes, Hayden saw that it was 7:30 am. "No waaaay," she murmured under her breath, still too tired to speak up. Reluctantly she swung her feet out of bed and headed for the bathroom down the hall, careful to avoid her brother Aiden's toys lying about.

Once in the small lavatory, Hayden shut and locked the door behind her. Aiden thought it was hilarious to barge in on her without knocking, but frankly she was tired of it. Turning to the large mirror on the wall, she rubbed her face, pinched her cheeks, and made a funny face. Bleghh, with a sigh she turned the faucet water to hot and washed her face, scrubbing until she woke herself up completely. Drying her face, Hayden picked up her favorite fuzzy robe and threw it on, tying the sash tight around her to cover up her sleeping attire: baggy t-shirt and underwear. Unlocking the door, she stod for a moment and caught a whiff of pancakes, coming from downstairs. Her stomach rumbling, Hayden flew down the steps and into the kitchen, where her dad was standing by the stove, spatula in hand and shake-up pancakes mix in the other. "'Morning, sweetheart. You're about to miss your bus but I'll drive you. Aiden's got his science fair project to turn in today, so I was driving anyway," said Mitch, the coolest dad alive. With his award-winning smile, Hayden had to smile back even though she was in the mood to be grumpy. "Thanks, daddy. D'you want me to wake up the tazmanian devil?" she replied, laughing a bit when she saw that he had an apron on and everything. Mitch nodded, quickly turning back to the bubbling mix on the stove. Rolling her eyes, Hayden walked back out to the stair and sucked in a large breath. "Aiden, you twerp, get down here! Dad's making pancakes!" She smiled wickedly when she heard his muffled protest and pranced back to her place at the table, where her dad had laid out a stack of pancakes topped with strawberry syrup and butter.

After breakfast, Hayden and Aiden did the usual routine of fighting over the bathroom to fix their hair and brush their teeth. Somehow, they'd both managed to comb down the cow-licks, freshen their breath, get dressed, find their homework, and make it into the van before ten minutes had passed. Hayden kept messing with her hair all throughout the ride, her bangs kept swinging into her eyes and it was getting extremely annoying. She had on her skinny jeans with zippers down the side and a plain neon yellow tee. With her lucky purple and black checkered scarf, she looked as she normally did, 'cept her bangs! Aiden pointed and laughed when she gave up and persisted in blowing her hair up out of her face, making it flop about on her forehead in random fashions. She giggled too, it was kinda funny, but didn't refrain from lightly smacking Aiden's pale face.

Her dad pulled up a Greenbrier High's parking lot, and he and Aiden waved as she opened the side door and stepped out onto campus, slinging her backpack over one shoulder. "Thanks daddy, love you, twerp!" she yelled over her shoulder as they pulled out and headed across the street to the middle school. Pulling in a deep breath, she headed up the steps and pushed open the big gray metal doors to her personal hell to bore herself to tears for the next six hours. On her way to her locker, Hayden passed her best friend Sam. On passing, she lightly tapped the red head's shoulder and looked back."Oh! Hey, Hayden. You scared me," Sam interjected with a small gasp. She waved a bit and smiled, returning to her locker so she could catch up with Hayden. This was also routine, Hayden, upon entering the school building, became more reserved and didn't talk much. She would tap Sam's shoulder to get her attention and would whisper in her ear if she wanted to say something, but that was usually it. No one else really heard Hayden speak. There was actually a rumor going around that she was a mute. Hayden chuckled as she passed by a group of Stacey's croonies, who were covering their mouths as they whispered trivial things and glared at her. Finding her locker at last, Hayden twisted in the code and opened it, looking bored. She gathered her english and history textbooks, threw in her backpack, took out a few pencils, and shut her locker. She turned and leaned against it, waiting for Sam so they could head off to begin the most boring part of average teenage life.

Hayden and Sam ran out of their respective classrooms and dashed for their lockers as soon as the final bell rang. Today was gonna be big. Hayden and Sam had been planning this day for about a month now, and it was finally here! Today was the day Hayden's paycheck came, and the two of them would finally have enough money to buy tickets to their favorite band's concert, Marianas Trench. They were psyched. Hayden just threw in her textbooks and grabbed her backpack before slamming the grated metal door and zooming down the hall to help Sam shove her violin into her own. When the two finally managed two pull out Sam's bag, they slammed her locker shut and ran to Sam's dusty old chevy waiting for them in the school parking lot. Stuffing their bags in the back and climbing in the cab, Sam jammed the ignition and sped off toward the local Tropical Smoothie, where Hayden was employed. Sam had hardly parked before Hayden was unbuckling and jumping out of the truck, stumbling to the sidewalk. Sam shouted out the window,"Go! Go! We need to be the first to get there!" and Hayden wrenched the glass door inside open and sprinted behind the counter to her boss' office. The door had a silver metal plate reading 'Mr. Laritate', and Hayden glupped before knocking and entering. Mr. Laritate was a nice man, so nice it was hard to believe this man could bear to charge his customers to drink his smoothies. That's why Hayden was nervous, she almost felt like she was taking advantage of him by asking what she was about to ask. "U-um, Mr. Laritate, sir? C-couldyou, um, well...Could I get my paycheck early? I'm not working today, but you usually wait 'til Friday to give it to me an all, but I'd like to get it a day early...?" she asked, looking down to the floor. Mr. Laritate was sitting in a big black chair behind an oak desk doing some paper work, but when Hayden looked up, he was smiling at her with his gentle, toothy smile that made everyone who saw it feel like a bad person. "Why, certainly Hayden! It's only a day earlier than usual, no need to be nervous. It's not like you were asking for a promotion," he replied calmly. He rummaged through one of the desk drawers for a second before pulling out a check and signing it and handing Hayden a wadful of neatly folded cash. Hayden took both, a bit confused about the cash. Mr. Laritate smile even wider then, "Oh, I know what you and your friend are up to, Miss Hayden. So I split your check in half and gave the rest to you as cash. Now hurry along, I hear concert ticket lines are miles long." Grinning back, Hayden said her thanks and dashed back out to Sam's truck, parked right by the exit and ignition still running.

Sam and Hayden had planned to be the first people in line for the tickets. They didn't want any chance of the tickets getting sold out. But, lo and behold, the was already a line of twenty- maybe thirty people at the Dome, camping equipment set up and ready to spend the night waiting for 7:00 am Friday morning to roll around. Hayden sighed with frustration as she jerked the door on her side open and walked to the truck bed. Her and Sam pulled out they're previously packed duffel bags full of camping necessities out from beneath their bags and walked up behind the last people in line. Sam looked a bit ticked, but said nothing, setting her bag on the concrete silently and beginning to unroll her blankets and setting up shop. Hayden followed suit, and in about ten minutes they were ready for long hours of numb butts and absolute boredom. The girls had both brought their iPods, and had them cranked up all the way to tune out the fussing strangers behind them in line. Hayden was listening and humming along to her favorite song, Beside You by Marianas Trench, oblivious to her surroundings as she lay face up on the blankets, staring into the sky. She still heard her complaining neighbors over her iPod, and she roller her eyes. A couple of groupies about three places back were crooning over a magazine, featuring Josh Ramsay from the band. He was probably modeling in whatever picture it was, because the girls were obsessively kissing the picture. It was nauseating to watch, and Hayden returned to staring up at the sky. Hayden and Sam prided themselves as being Marianas Trench NON-fanatics. They were Marianas Trench Music Psychos, instead. Hayden hardly remembered what any of the band members looked like, but she knew all the lyrics to every single song. Josh's voice was burned in her memory, and the songs he sang seemed to flow through her. She loved their songs, she didn't know how she'd get through her life without them. Sighing, she closed her eyes and hummed along to her favorite song as long as possible, finally able to drown out those posers with the mag.


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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am
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.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- "Mreeeeooowwww" cried a small fuzzy ball beside Josh's head. "mreeeoooowwww" It cried again, pushing its small paw against the side of Josh's face. Josh groaned and pushed the cat off the bed, only to have it leap back up, straight onto his chest. "mrrreeeooowwwww" It continued to whine in Josh's face, pushing it's paw into Josh's closed eye this time. Josh pushed the cat off the bed once again and rolled over, putting his light blue pillow over his head. He could still hear muffled cries of hunger and lonliness from the cat, but it was much easier to ignore with a pillow over his head. Josh was just about to fall asleep again, when something soft and squishy hit him. He took the pillow off his head, and looked around, his eyes stopping as they took in Matt's pillow on the floor beside him. Josh looked up at Matt, who was staring at him with his eyes only half open, and his brown hair sticking up. Josh laughed and sat him, then picked up the small cat and cuddled it in his lap."Make that stupid thing shut up" Matt said, his voice cracky and tired. Josh pouted at Matt and rubbed the small cats head gently. "She isn't stupid. She's hungry. And she missed me, right baby? I've been away too much, haven't I" He murmured to the cat, who sat purring happily as Josh ran his hand down her back. "You're insane. Just feed her, so she shuts up. Some of us actually need to sleep" Matt said, placing his head down on the mattress, since his pillow was now across the room. Josh frowned and pulled the covers away from his body, carrying the cat with him as he walked from the room.

-X- Josh made his way down the stairs and entered the kitchen, where Ian and Mike both sat drinking coffee and reading different sections of the newspaper. "You guys are so lame." Josh mumbled, still holding the cat as he looked through the cupboard for cat food. "Says the boy holding a cat. How masculine of you Josh. I'll iron your pink shirt for the interview." Mike said, taking another sip of his coffee. Josh put the cat down and filled the small glass bowl they used for her food, and placed it on a small plastic mat. "Funny. So I have a thing for cats? Why do you care. At least I show affection towards something." Josh said, pouring his own coffee and sitting at the table. Ian looked up from the paper and rolled his eyes. "Except girls. You seem to run from them more then you run after them" Ian said. Josh pouted and took a sip of his coffee, before looking back at the cat who sat purring, while eating. "That's not fair. I only run because they chase with crazed looks on their faces. Plus, how do I know if a girl actually likes me, or if they like my fame? A ton of girls would only say they liked me, so that they could say they were with Josh Ramsay, of Marianas Trench" Josh said, part of him wishing someone would see that he's a totally normal boy, who happened to get lucky. Ian sighed and closed the news paper. He had been with the same girl for a while, which made it much easier for him. Matt just liked to hook up on the road, and Mike was after a childhood friend. Leaving Josh to be the loner who was looking for something real. "Ey Josh, I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, maybe in a few years, when you're old and ugly, and sing like a drowning cat... Someone will like you for you." Ian said. Josh rolled his eyes and looked back at his own cat. "I don't even want to think about what I'll be like a few years from now..." He mumbled, drinking the rest of his coffee. He got up and rinsed out the cup, then made his way upstairs, to get ready for the talk show they had to be at in two hours.

-X- Josh entered the bedroom, just as Matt was emerging from their large walk in closet, an outfit in hand. Josh sighed and walked in, searching through both his clothes, and then Matt's until he found something he could wear. "What's up, Josh? You're sighing, and walking slow." Matt said as he pulled on his sweater. Josh looked up from a white t-shirt he was checking for stains and shrugged. "Ian and Mike were getting on my case about showing more affection towards a cat, then to a real human. Girls mostly" Josh said, rolling on deoderant before pulling on the white shirt. Matt nodded and handed Josh a pair of slim, black jeans. Josh took them and nodded in thanks, then pulled them on once Matt had walked back into the main bedroom. "Ahh. Dude, there's nothing wrong with loving a cat. Plus, those girls can get pretty fer-eeaky" Matt muttered as he straightened the front of his hair so that it would lay flat. Josh shook his head and pulled on a leather jacket, which Matt and him shared. He exited the closet and picked up his acoustic guitar from it's stand and put it into it's case, then he began picking up clothes from the floor, and dropping them into a hamper. "Is your mom coming by soon? I had to wear one of your t-shirts. I kind of like my own. You dress like Simon Cowell" Matt said, gesturing the plain black shirt we was wearing underneith his navy blue sweater. Josh laughed and took the flat iron from Matt and began straightening his own hair, which was sticking up in every direction. "Today. I told her that we were doing our best to keep clean, but she understands that with the tour starting we need some help. She's going to do our laundry before we go, and then help us pack so that we have as many clothes as we can fit." Josh said, putting the flat iron down, to smooth out his now straight hair. Matt picked up his own guitar case in one hand, and Josh's in the other and stood by the door. "Sweet. Ask her to make some lists as well. So that we don't forget anything, and so that we know how to work the washing machines at the laundromats." Matt said, handing Josh his guitar as they walked out of the room.


-X- The boys all got into the van, not having to run to the van, for most people weren't even up yet. Josh had given his cat a small hug before leaving, knowing she was the only female that would ever love him for just his affection and his self. He frowned to himself as he walked out of the house, knowing how lame it was to have a cat for a best friend, even if he did have Matt as well. He sat in the front with Matt, who was driving this time. They let Matt drive when they were in a hurry, for Matt often ignored speed limits and stop signs. Josh bit his nail as he looked out the open window, the wind blowing his hair as he stared at things they passed. A few people screamed when they saw him, but Matt's lunatic driving didn't give them a chance to snatch a picture with whatever camera they had on their phones. Josh sighed as the van stopped, his head pounding and his stomach feeling sick. He looked at Matt, who put his arm around Josh's shoulders, stopping him from walking. Matt waved the other two through the door, and then sat down on a giant metal box that sat outside the studio. "Dude, are you okay?" Matt asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Josh nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what's going on today. I think it's what Mike and Ian said this morning. I think I've come to the realization that I'll never just be Josh anymore. I'll always be Josh Ramsay. Lead singer of Marianas Trench, or Josh Ramsay. The guy that used to be in that hit-selling band" Josh said, happy that he could be in a band with his best friend. Matt sighed and looked at the sky. "I know what you mean. But I mean, I wouldn't let it get you down. You're still Josh. Who cares what crazy fans that know nothing about you think? I've known you since grade nine, and I know that no amount of fame is going to change you. You'll still always be Josh, because its who you are. Unlike me, who has become a total hot dog since we got famous. You're sp gratefull for all of this, that you don't have time to be anyone but yourself. People who get to know you see that. They just have to take the time." Matt said, hoping his words would cheer Josh up. Josh sighed and looked up at Matt. "I guess... Thanks Matt. Come one, lets go. It's too cold to be sitting out here at six in the morning" Josh said, standing up. Matt smiled and held the door for Josh, stepping in once his best friend was all the way inside.

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нaץ∂eη єℓis мcKeηzie
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And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand


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Hayden and Sam had been jammin' on their iPods the whole day, only returning to reality when they got hungry. They had packed a bunch of sandwiches and mountain dews to tide them over, and around nine o'clock hunger pains got the best of both of them. Sam ate her dinner daintily, taking tiny bites and sipping slowly at her soda, while Hayden could care less. She dogged down her sandwiches and popped her drink open while propping her feet up on her duffel bag and leaning on their tent. Sam finished her dinner and wiped her mouth with a napkin she'd packed, and looked at Hayden's I-could-care-less position. "Uhh, Hayden? What are you doing? We're in public, y'know..." she said, gently as she could while looking around, seeming a bit embarrassed. Hayden wiped a bit of mustard off the side of her mouth and looked at Sam through the corner of her eye. "Oh? Sorry, Sam. Not as 'proper' as you are, so I guess my manners just...fly away sometimes," Hayden apologized with a sarcastic drawl only Samantha knew about. Stuffing the last bit of bread in her mouth, she licked her fingers and finished her soda. Returning to an upright position, Hayden crossed her legs indian-style and opened her phone. She looked at the time, 9:15 pm, and sighed. Only three more hours 'till the ticket went on sale. Then her and Sam would be trucking it out to Vancouver. Excited again, she flopped back onto the blanket to stare at the clouds. Sam followed suit this time, and they bantered back and forth for a while about what they saw. Hey, is that a dog? Nah, it's a deer. What? No way, that is so...

It was around ten thirty when Samantha's cell rang. It was her mom, identifiable by the Jack's Mannequin ringtone. Fumbling around her bag for a moment, Sam finally found the cellular device and flipped the cover open, automatically answering the call. "Hey, mom? ... Yeah, we're fine, only a few more hours and we'll have the tickets[she said this with a small squeal] ... What? Why?! ... o-oh, oh no ... No, no, no, no... Okay, I got it. Bye." Hayden was staring at Sam throughout the conversation, watching as her best friend's face turned from happy-go-lucky to dooms-day, and to funeralface. When she hung up, Hayden immediately pressed for answers. "Oh, hun, what's wrong? Did something happen? Can you still go to the concert?" all of which were considerate questions. Sam wiped a tear from her eye as she chocked back a sniffle,"I-I can't go. My granma, y'know, in Nevada? She...she passed away a few hours ago. I loved her so much!" Sam replied, rushing an hugging Hayden. Shocked at this bit of news, for Hayden loved Sam's granma, she'd often given her presents at Christmas and played with her even though they weren't related. She hugged her poor friend back, rocking her a little to soothe her. "I guess you're going to Nevada tomorrow, then, huh? For the funeral." Sam nodded, pulling away. She slowly began repacking her things, and Hayden silently helped, wondering what she could do for her. Sam suddenly stopped as she was zipping up her bag,"Y'know, you should still go to the concert, Hayden. My...my mom's picking me up, so I'll leave my truck with you. Take lots of pictures for me, 'kay?" and she hugged her again. Hayden just nodded, glad to see Sam cheering up. Mrs. Forren, Sam's mom, pulled up a minute later, and Hayden waved as Sam ambled over and climbed in. When they drove off, she sighed and toyed with the keys Sam left on the blanket.

Hayden was packed up and ready to go when 11:30 came around. The blankets were folded and put away in the only duffel bag left, her dinner and soda was gone, and her iPod tucked safely in her pocket, she was ready for the line to start moving. When Sam had left, Hayden felt a bit uncomfortable being stuck in line by herself, surrounded by strangers, but she got over it by playing games with herself. She'd look behind her at the uber-long, winding line and would pick a color, article of clothing, and count how many people she saw wearing it. It made that last hour fly by. She tried to keep that up now that it was almost midnight, but she was nervous now that she was about to get her ticket, feeling very alone again. Minutes trickled by, and Hayden contented herself to pacing a few steps out of line and back, ignoring everything around her. When the box office finally opened, at 11:59, she snapped back into line and pulled out her forty bucks. The line, despite its size, moved fairly quickly, and Hayden had her single ticket at about 12:06. Giggling with excitement, she ran as fast as she could with her duffel bag to Sam's truck and slung it into the back. Climbing in and jamming the ignition, she headed straight to the interstate and Vancouver. She blasted the radio for a while, but then it got distracting as she became more and more sleepy. She turned it off about an hour into the drive, glad that she wasn't driving from too far away. If she kept going at this speed, she'd make it to Vancouver in time to check into a hotel and get some sleep before the concert.

At about four in the morning, Hayden finally reached Vancouver. She didn't know how much longer she could go before she passed out, so she pulled into the closest motel she could find, the Holiday Inn looked ok. Parking and checking into her room were all a major blurr, and she didn't remember any of it when she woke up the next morning.
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Hayden found herself drooling on the sheets of an unfamiliar bed with all of her clothes on when she woke up. Terrified for a second, she jumped off the bed and spun around, looking for an attacker or kidnapper. Then she laughed at herself when she saw a broshuer on the nightstand by the bed. She didn't remember how she got there, but she was in a motel, and it was ten in the morning, and Sam wasn't here, but she was starving. Not caring enough about her appearance to change clothes right then, she went into the too neat bathroom and brushed her hair with the complimentary comb and headed downstair to the lobby, locking her door with a swipe-card on the bedstand. It was beautiful outside, by Hayden didn't care to look. She was dogging for the breakfast buffet. Once in the yellow-y orange sunshine themed lobby, she grabbed a plate on the counter beside the coffee machine and piled a few muffins on her plate. She grabbed some O.J. and seated herself in the seat closest to the stairs back to her room. She ate in silence, feeling rather awful that she'd actually left Sam to go to the concert, and the sinking feeling that hit her stomach when she realized that she would be attending a concert alone caused her to lose her appetite. Feeling a bit sick, she threw away all but one muffin, which she carried with her to her room and sat on the table while she showered and redressed herself.

Sinking feeling still haunting her, Hayden tried distracting herself by watching some t.v. She flipped some channels until she noticed a talkshow she'd never heard of that was hosting the members of Marianas Trench. What the heck, I guess that I'm not such a great fan if I don't know anything about them, she thought to herself as she crossed her legs and munched on a muffin and watched the interview.


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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am
User Image
.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- The rest of the morning between their arrival time, and the interview was a blurr. All of their outfits were okay, since they didn't need to have anything special on. But otherwise, each boy was moving from hair, to make up, back to hair because one of the make up artists messed it up, to the set, to the sound booth, to the mini stage that was set up, and then finally to the soft, plush red chairs they all had to sit in. Josh yawned as the camera crew dodged around in front of the set, getting everything ready for when it was time to start. Finally the hostess came and introduced herself. She looked about twenty five, and was definitely giving the eighteen year old Matt some flirty looks. Matt acted cool, although he was a bit freaked out, and had a whispered conversation with Josh once she'd walked away. "I hate these things. It's just an excuse for them to embarass you, and get more people to watch the show. Is it okay if I answer all the questions stupidly?" Josh asked Matt quickly. Matt leaned over to Josh and gave him a small smile. "As amusing as it would be for you to say that your mom is an ogre, and that Lucy is your girlfriend, I don't think they would be too amused. However, feel free to throw something in every once and a while. Shake it up" Matt said, doing a little dance before leaning back into his chair. Josh closed his eyes and went over the words from Beside You in his head, liking the way the lyrics flowed when he sang them, and the way they always calmed him down, even when he had an adrenaline rush from the massive crowds. When you try to speak, but you make no sound, and the words you want are out of reach, but they've never been so loud... The words flowed through his head, causing him to forget where he was, and what was going. He kept his eyes closed, repeating the same line in his head, over and over until he heard the hostess come in for the opening introduction, and he realized he had been sitting with his eyes closed, on camera. Matt gave him a small smile and shrugged. "No one noticed. Don't sweat it" Matt said quietly as the hostess blared the guests for that show.

-X- The hostess made her way over to a single plush chair that was facing the other four chairs the boys sat in. "So, today I have the pleasure of spending the entire hour with the talented boys of Marianas Trench. We have... Mike Ayley..." She said, one of the cameras zooming in on Mike's face as he said hello. "Ian Casselman" She said, another camera pointing at Ian's face. Then she moved on to Matt, who she gave another flirty look, although it was subtle enough that no one watching would notice. "Matt Webb..." She said, as the camera zoomed in on his face. "And Josh Ramsay" She said, giving Josh a semi-flirty smile. "Hello" Josh said quietly, hoping her small crush on Matt would cause her to spend most of the time talking with him. "So boys, what do each of you do in the band?" She asked. Josh sighed. Annnnd it starts. The hostess that know's absolutely nothing about us, and just wants us to raise her audience count He thought to himself as each of the boy's stated what they played. He zoned out until Matt poked him. "I'm sorry Josh. Are the rest of us boring you? You seem to be in your own little world" The hostess said, causing Josh to blush. "Uhh..." He said, looking at Matt. "He just isn't much of a morning person. We had to get up super early, so he's still trying to adjust." Matt said, Josh staring at his shoes as Matt made up an excuse. "Ahh, I see. Well Josh, now that we have your attention. What do you contribute to the band?" She asked him. Matt cocked his head at Josh, and Josh nodded. The whole transaction took about one second, and the minute Josh opened his mouth, Matt interupted him and began explaining. "He brings style, charisma, and sexitude. That's how we get so many fans" Matt said, winking at Josh. Josh laughed at Matt's made up word and then looked up at the hostess. She had blonde hair, that had way too much hairspray in it. She also had so much make up caked onto her face that she almost looked fake. "I'm the lead singer, and rythme guitar..." Josh said quietly, wishing he had his cat with him. She always made him feel better, even though she usually only curled up in his lap for her own sake. Josh smiled slightly, causing the guest audience to break into screaming, seeing as they were all fifteen year old girls. He nodded in their direction, then looked back at the fakey host. "So, Ian we know you all have a special someone, but what about the rest of you? Is there anyone special in your lives?" She asked, looking at Matt as she finished her sentence. Matt looked at Josh and winked again, and Josh's smile grew, into his full smile and he sat up straight in her seat, causing the camera's to move to him. "I think Josh wants to talk about his love interest" Matt said, chuckling slightly as Mike and Ian both gave Josh strange looks. Matt already knew were Josh's answer was going, and he continued to chuckle. Josh folded his hands in his lap and took a deep breath, as if he was preparing to tell the world a huge secret. "Her name is Lucy..." Josh said, Matt continuing to laugh, and the other two boys beginning to laugh as well. The hostess leaned forward, confused at why everyone was laughing. "And what's she like, that makes her to special to you?" The hostess asked in a smokey voice. The rest of the band knew that he was talking about the cat, but the hostess, and audience thought he was talking about a real girl. "Well... She's very sweet and loving. She likes to eat of the floor though, because she's afraid of heights." Josh said, beginning to laugh with the other boys. "Uh huh?" The hostess said, giving Josh a smile as he continued to speak. "She's different then most girls. You see, she had small triangular ears on the top of her hair, and is small enough that she can sit in my lap. She's both black, and white, and has two large fangs in the front of her mouth" Josh continued, beginning to laugh more and more as he spoke. The hostess still looked confused, but promted Josh on anyway. "She prefers to walk on all fours, instead of on her legs, and has her own mini house within our house." Josh said, a childish laugh coming out of his mouth. His laugh hadn't changed much since he was in elementary school, and he still giggled like a four year old. However, most people thought it was cute, so he stopped minding after a while. Although he usually liked to control his laughter on television, he was laughing too hard to control what noise came out of his mouth. The hostess now looked extremely confused, and just sat there as all four boys continued on with their laughter. Finally Josh stopped laughing and wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. He took a deep breath, and then the other boys stopped laughing, realizing that Josh had a saddened look on his face. He was back to thinking about what Matt had said, but he quickly looked up from his leg, and looked at the hostess as she began to speak again. "Lucy is a cat, isn't she?" The hostess asked, her voice trumphant as she figured out the joke. Josh nodded and slumped back into his seat. "Yes... But she's the only girl that will ever understand me, and love me for me..." Josh said quietly. Matt looked at him, understanding in his eyes as he realized how much this was affecting Josh. The hostess leaned forward and held both her mic, and the mic Josh had been given up to his mouth. "I'm sorry what was that?" She asked. Josh looked up and gave her an apologetic smile. "Nothing... Just um... Yes Lucy is a cat." Josh said, looking out the window behind him once he finished speaking.

-X- Josh went to the studio washroom after the interview was over, and washed whatever make up they had put on him, off. Then he fixed his hair the way he liked it and left the washroom. Matt handed him a large pair of sunglasses, zipped up his jacket and gave him a hat. "We're going to starbucks, while Ian and Mike go home and get everything ready for tonight. I don't want to get mobbed." Matt explained while Josh pulled the hat over his blue and dark brown hair. Then the two of them walked out of the studio, looking like two guys that worked their. Ian had taken the leather jacket and sweater the boys had been wearing, and they were both wearing studio hats and jackets, with large sunglasses cover most of their faces. They walked down the street, not even getting a second look from anyone they passed. "You were pretty good while talking about Lucy. But during the end of the interview, when she asked us all the real questions, about the band, and touring... You were so quiet. Dude, why is this affecting you so much? So what, you don't have a girlfriend. I don't, and I don't care. You shouldn't either" Matt said as they entered the starbucks. Matt ordered them both drinks, and then leaned against the counter as they waited for them to be made. Josh sighed and tugged at the sleeves of the jacket. "It's not that I don't have a girlfriend. It's that I can't have one" Josh said quietly. He truly didn't care that he was single. What was upsetting him, is that fact that he wasn't able to have one, without being sure she actually liked him. That's why I just hook up in different cities. You take 'em out for coffee, give them a goodbye kiss, and off you go. No mess, no worries." Matt said, picking up the drinks and carrying them to a small table at the back. Josh sat down and tapped the table with his fingers. "I want more then that. That's so classic musician. Never in a serious relationship. Just parties and one night stands." Josh said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Soo responsible. You're like, the oldest eighteen year old I know" Matt said. Josh laughed and sipped the coffee. "I'm probably the youngest eighteen year old as well." Josh said, looking out the window, staring at people's faces as they passed.


-X- Once the boy's were finished they walked back to their small house, still no one recognizing them with their hat's and sunglasses. They walked into the house and were met by Josh's mom, carrying a big plate of cookies. Josh grabbed three and walked past her without saying anything, and went up to his room to start packing. She sighed and Matt explained quietly, going to the basement to pack movies and CD's, as the Vancouver show was the first one they played before going on tour. Josh's mother went up the stairs and knocked on the door. Josh looked up from his suitcase, half the cookie hanging from his mouth. He took a bite and sat down, chewing. "Matt told me" She said, sitting down beside him. Josh stood up and walked to the closet. "I don't want to talk about it" Josh said, going through his freshly washed clothes for what he wanted to bring. "How else will things get better, Honey?" She asked. Josh picked up a pile of button down shirts and brought them to his suitcase, then went off in search of clean underwear. "By themselves. I'm just going to forget about it. I don't need to have anything like that bothering me during the tour." He said, walking back into the main room, to see his mother folding his shirts and tucking them neatly into the suitcase. "Josh, honey... Are you ashamed of what you are?" She asked, taking his underwear and rolling it up so it would fit better. "No..." Josh said, handing her three pairs of jeans. "Then what you are shouldn't bother you, no matter what it affects in your life. I'm proud of you, as is your father. You're happy, and your dream came true. You now have to take the time to make sure the other aspects of your life are delt with properly. Go slow, sing high and never let anyone get you down." She said, zipping up his suitcase and handing it to him. Josh sighed and smiled. "Thanks mom" He said, following her out of the room, and down the stairs, where Mike and Ian were going over a check list of what they needed.

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нaץ∂eη єℓis мcKeηzie
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And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand


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Hayden, sitting on her comfy motel bed with soaking wet hair and a muffin, was staring intently at the t.v. screen on the dresser in front of the bed. The show she was watching was some cheap talk show which had somehow managed to get Marianas Trench to accept a a live interview, and the hostess was seriously pissing her off. It might've been her imagination, but she thought she saw the woman shoot bedroom eyes over at Matt Webb. Not only that, but she was patronizing Josh, who apparently found his shoes more interesting than anything the hostess had to say. "So, Ian we know you all have a special someone, but what about the rest of you? Is there anyone special in your lives?" the woman asked in her fake friendly voice. "I think Josh wants to talk about his love interest" Matt looked over to his bandmate with a grin. Josh looked to the ground for a second and drew a breath, which had Hayden hugging a pillow, dying to hear this secret of his. "Her name is Lucy..." Then hostess dug for more details. "Well... She's very sweet and loving. She likes to eat of the floor though, because she's afraid of heights. She's different then most girls. You see, she had small triangular ears on the top of her hair, and is small enough that she can sit in my lap. She's both black, and white, and has two large fangs in the front of her mouth..." She busted out laughing at that. Hayden heard nothing he said after that, she was too busy holding her insides together. It was a few seconds later until she could pull herself back together and sit upright. "Hahaa....whooo...That was hilarious," she sighed, trying to hold back the last of the giggles. Wiping away a tear from her eye, she finally calmed down and caught the last bit of Josh's speech. He muttered something about being the only girl to love him for him. Hayden paused for a moment, wondering if that's what he'd actually said. "I'm hearing things," she mumbled under her breath when the hostess questioned him again, and all he did was confirm Lucy's species. She picked up the remote lying beside her and lazily flipped the t.v. off.

It normally took Hayden a few hours to get ready for a no-school day, and today was definately no exception. She spent about an hour picking out her clothes that she'd wear to the concert, which she finally settled for a pair of jeans torn at the knees and her favorite tee shirt (the one with a baby dinosaur saying 'rawr, i eat you' on it) and, of course, her purple checkered scarf with her etnis. Then,she took about three hours working on her hair. First, she tried to let it air-dry then put it up in a simple ponytail, but that would take a while, so she tried blow drying it and flat ironing it. The blow drying worked, but she was scared to death that she'd burn herself with the flat iron. But Hayden sucked it up and managed to get her poofy black hair nice, straight and flat. Finally it took about an hour to get her makeup right. At first she put on enough that she had a second layer of skin. She looked ridiculous, she she washed it off and started over, going easy on the mascara and foundation. She still looked fake, though. Washing her face again, she put on some simple eye liner and left it at that. Hayden didn't wear makeup often, so this looked just fine. Not very noticable, but still dressy. Satisfied, she went over to the bed and dressed herself with the selected garments lying in wait. She got her foot stuck through the knee hole in her jeans for a few seconds, but before she fell she pulled free. After two minutes, Hayden was ready to go. "I probably have about an hour 'til, I'll just chill for a while," she said aloud to herself. Then she looked at her phone. It was already 5:30, and the concert was at 6! She'd taken so long to get ready, she hardly noticed what time it was. "Oh, God. Here we go," she growled, grabbing her keys and wallet. She stormed outside, nearly forgetting to lock her room, and sped down the metal stairs. She was running when she hit the pavement, and reached Sam's old truck in two seconds flat from across the lot. Climbing in and jamming the key into the ignition, she slammed the old door and sped away, headed toward a growing roar about two miles from her motel. "There it is..."

Hayden pulled up into the crowded lot, searching anywhere for a place to park. She spotted a slot right in the middle, and zoomed in before some black camaro full of snobs took it. Cheering for herself, she quickly grabbed her things and jumped out, hardly waiting to lock her friend's car before bolting to the ticket line. She wanted to hurry, even though Sam had given her her share of the money to buy a single front row ticket, Hayden wanted to be sure to get inside before it got too crowded. She was a bit late though, the entrance line was so long it stretch for miles. Woah, no way am I waiting that long! Hayden thought, her jaw dropping at the sight. Timidly, she walked up to a guardsman who was watching everything and tapped his shoulder. "U-um, sir? If I had a front row ticket, would I still have to wait in that enormous line to get inside?" she asked nervously, holded her ticket out for the man to see. The guard looked down and stared at the ticket, as if checking for authenticy. "No, little lady. There's a Quick Que line up front for first through fifth row ticket holders. It's right up there," he replied, kindly pointing to a velvet rope at the beginning of the line. She smiled, nodded her thanks, and rushed off toward the velvet rope. She flashed her ticket to the clerk there, and he waved her through, and Hayden was quickly ushered into the large concert hall.


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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am
User Image
.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh stood outside, by the van with his mother, while the other boys ran around inside grabbing last minute things, extra suitcases and Josh's cat. "You should probably help" His mother said in an amused tone as she watched Matt chasing Lucy around inside. Josh laughed and sighed. "I know, but yet... Somehow watching Matt do it is so much more satisfying." Josh said, turning around to make sure the guitars were safely secured to the hooks they had on the ceiling of the van. His mother turned and stacked the luggadge and drum set so that they took up less room. "Mom, can you come on tour with us?" Josh asked quietly. His mother sighed and looked at him. "I would love to, honey. But I can't just leave your father for months on end" She said, placing her hand on Josh's shoulder. Josh looked up at the sky. It was sunny, but still chilly. It was usually like that in Vancouver, which is something Josh loved. "He can come to" Josh said, really wanted at least one of his parents to be with him on tour. "He's got work. Why does it matter to you so much?" She asked him. Josh looked back down at her, and ran his fingers through his hair. "I've been in a funk lately. When we played on that talk show this morning, I sucked. I couldn't sing with the energy, and emotion I usually can. I need at least one parent there to remind me about what you said earlier. That it's my dream... I know I have to deal with what it comes with, but I want you there." Josh said. His mother sighed and pulled Josh into a hug. "If it means that much to you, I'll come. I'll meet you at the concert later... Afterwards. I need to do some shopping for your father, and pack some stuff for myself." She said, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it. Josh smiled and squeezed back, then went inside and picked up Lucy, who ran to him immediatly, and put her in her cat box.

-X- Tick, tick, tick, tick. They keys clicked together continously, no one talking. tick, tick, tick, tick, the noise continued, as everyone stared out their respective windows. Finally Josh looked away from the window, and stared at Mike, who was driving this time. "My mom is coming on tour with us" Josh finally said. Matt and Ian both looked at him, and Mike looked at him using the rearview mirror. "Why?" Matt asked. Josh sighed and folded his hands in his lap. "I need her right now. Plus, she'll help keep us all in order, and make sure we always have food to eat, and clean clothes to wear" Josh said quietly, pulling his sweater close to his body as the window blew through the van. "It's not such a bad thing." Ian said, with a mouth full of M&M's. Matt sighed and looked at Josh. "I never said it was a bad thing. I just thought that we discussed things before making official plans" Matt said, shrugging. Josh rolled his eyes and undid his seat belt. Then he crawled into the back of the van, and sat on a clear spot. Then he took Lucy, who was meowing, out of her cage and put her in his lap. "If she throws up, you're cleaning it" Mike called. Josh rubbed Lucy's head and smiled. "She's fine" Josh said as the little cat began to purr. Josh looked up as Matt came and sat down in the clear space beside Josh and reached over to pet Lucy. "Sorry about getting defensive" Matt said, opening a pack of chips he brought from the house. Josh took two and broke one in half, and gave it to Lucy, then put the other chip in his mouth. "It's fine. I know it's important to run things over with all you guys, but I thought you'd all be fine with it. Plus, I wasn't even sure if she could come." Josh explained, giving the other half of the chip to Lucy, who licked the salt off happily. "It's fine, man. I understand. Plus, your mom is the coolest out of all of ours. She actually supports us..." Matt said, thinking about his own mother who wasn't supportive of the band at all, and actually tried everything in her power to convince Matt to be a lawyer. She also hated Josh, because she thought he was poisoning Matt's mind. "So, I heard you playing a new song yesterday. Can I hear it?" Matt asked. Josh looked up from Lucy and gave Matt a croocked smile. "It's a duet... I'm kind of hoping we can find someone to record it with us, that is if everyone likes it. I'll sing you part though." Josh said, He cleared his throat and licked salt off his lips, then took a deep breath and began to sing quietly, so only Matt could hear. "Everyone's around, no words are coming now. And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound? I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up I know I'm not prepared; sorry is never there when you need it" Josh sang. Matt smiled and nodded. "I like it, how does the chorus go?" Matt asked. Josh smiled and laughed. "I can sing the melody, but the female is supposed to do the harmony half way through the chorus, so it wont sound very good." Josh said, taking a sip of water before continuing. "And I do want you to know, I'll hold you up above everyone. And I do want you to know, I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you" Josh sang. Matt clapped Josh on the back, causing Lucy to raise her head from Josh's leg to look up at Matt. "I love it. We just need to find someone to sing it with you. Maybe, since we can both go pretty high, I could try the harmony, just so we could show it to the others. See what they think. Let me see the lyrics" Matt said, taking Josh's song book, and reading through the lyrics. Then he stopped reading and looked up at Josh. "I think I know what this is about..." Matt said. Josh sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I put my feelings into songs. You know that" Josh said, not even trying to deny what the song was about. Matt then stood up and looked down at Josh to sat staring at his lyrics. "Put Lucy away. We're almost there, and we're going to need to you help us carry in the intruments." Matt said, watching as Josh put Lucy back into her cage and stood up. Then both of them sat back down, and did up their seatbelts, looking at the crowd lined up around the two blocks that surrounded the stadium.

-X- Josh smiled as the van pulled into the well secured backstage parking lot, thousands of fans that stood in line waiting to get in began to scream as they saw the van, and screamed even more as Matt got out, followed by Josh and more screams. They all opened the van and began grabbing instruments, then closed up the van doors and left it to be moved. They all jogged to the back stage entrance, putting down the heavy equiptment once they were inside. Then they were led to the dressing room, while someone picked up their stuff and went to go set it up on stage. Josh and Matt went into the dressing room to set up their stuff, while Mike and Ian went to go do a sound check, and make sure everything was placed right. Matt sighed as he plugged in flat irons to heat, and hung up their concert clothes. "Whats up?" Josh asked as he lined up different styling products, deoderants, colognes and various other things according to which boy it belonged to. "First concert of the tour... We start in Vancouver. Then we say ' bye bye home' and go all across Canada. I can't wait for our world tour. Oh gee, that should be fun." Matt said sarcastically. Josh sighed. "We should probably plan one of those. So far we've only done Canadian tours, and I think we should at least go to America, so we don't lose any fans from there." Josh said, taking off his sweater. It was 4:45 and the concert started at 6, so Josh was relieved when someone handed him and Matt each a bag of McDonalds, which they could eat quickly before the show. "Eat slow. If you eat too fast, you'll burp a lot, or get hiccups" Josh said. He remembered once, when he had eaten right before the show, and he had eaten quickly. He got the hiccups right before he had to go on, and had to spend 10 minutes just talking to the crowd, hiccuping every time he got five words out. Matt nodded and took a bit of a french fry. Then he finished the fry and began to straighten and style his hair. Josh sat on the small leather couch that was in the dressing room and ate slowly, taking small sips of water between every bite. After the sound check was over, Mike and Ian walked into the dressing room, both holding half drinken bottles of water. Ian burped, causing Mike and Matt to laugh. Josh stared at the wall, running lyrics through his head. Then he stood up and got dressed. He was wearing a bright blue button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was also wearing slim black jeans, a black tie, and black high top converse. He then styled his hair the way he liked it, and stuck his tongue out at the mirror. "Ohh, look at you. Mr.Bad-a** tongue ring." Mike said as Josh closed his mouth. "I'm thinking I should get a neon green one, so that when I sing people can see it better." Josh said, sitting down so he could fix his pant bottoms so that they sat over his shoes properly.


-X- Josh's heart was beating fast as he walked through the dark halls behind the stage, listening as their opening band played. He peaked behind the curtain and could see the crowd. The stadium was full. Josh swallowed hard, afriad he wouldn't be as good as usual. He checked his cell phone, which he would soon have to throw on the backstage table. He read the clock on the screen, then turned on the screen lock, so that no one could look through it, and put it down on the table. They went on at 6:20, and it was already 6:15. The other band went on later, because like usual, only half the crowd was in the stadium, and they played a 12 minute set, which left the boys with a good five minutes or more to get on stage, get their intruments ready and to start their set. The other band played the chorus to their third song, signaling that the boys only had 4 minutes until they had to go on. Josh took a deep breath, and jumped a little as Matt came up beside him. "You'll do fine. Look, your mom is there. To the left, beside the front row. She's looking at you" Matt said, pointing to where Josh's mother stood. She didn't look like anyone's mother. She looked more like unmarked security. She wore all black, and had her hair up in an elastic. Josh met eyes with her and smiled. She smiled back and gave him a small thumbs up. He took another deep breath and began to relax. However, his relaxed state only lasted for a minute, because shortly after he had relaxed a bit, the othere band ran off stage and clapped Josh shoulder. "Uh-mazing audience. Go out there and kick a** guys" The singer said, running past them as they made their way to the dressing room. Josh took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Then he opened his eyes and walked onto stage, followed by Matt, Mike and then Ian, who went straight to the drum set. Josh took a deep breath as he stopped in front of the microphone, and smiled at the audience, his eyes resting on his mother, who gave him another smile. She had never been to a show before, which gave Josh a reason to be better then any other show. He put his lips against the microphone, and opened his mouth. His voice came out clear, loud and strong, which made him happy, because at that moment he felt anything but. "Good evening Vancouver!" He said into the microphone, smiling as the crowd burst into cheers and screams.

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нaץ∂eη єℓis мcKeηzie
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And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand


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It was hot, stuffy, and smelled of stale popcorn inside the concert hall. Hayden was being pushed around on all sides. A bit lost and confused, she followed a clan of groupies, and they lead her down to the front section of the hall. They giggled to themselves and broke left, walking far down into the aisle. Hayden stared after them for a second, but the crowd behind pushed her forward, and she stumbled all the way down to the stage. She came up to the first row finally, and carefully made her way out of the crowd and down the correct aisle. She looked at her ticket stub, the clerk from before had ripped part of the ticket off as proof that she'd entered, and read the seat number: A1-S26. Section A, row one; Seat 26. Nodding to herself, she searched until she located her seat and sat squarely down. The people around her were all standing, chatting loudly in anticipation. The room had filled up a while ago, but people were getting up to go to stands where band merchandise was sold or to buy some skittles and m&m's. But everyone rushed back to their rows as the lights dimmed and an announcer stepped on stage to introduce the first band. Hayden was still sitting, possibly the only person sitting, but she didn't really like this band and without Sam there... Maybe she shouldn't have come.

Hayden continued sitting through out every band performance, daydreaming along with the lyrics to some of the songs. Then, finally, some last group of a name she couldn't even try to remember ran off stage as the announcer introduced the reason she even came to this smelly, crowded music hall. "And here we have...Marianas Trench!" and the crowd went nuts. Hayden covered her eyes at the volume around her, only barely hearing the lead singer, Josh, shout,"Good evening, Vancouver!" She smiled and thought of standing, but when she tried the crazy fangirls beside her pushed her back down, nearly slapping Hayden in the process. Giving up, she remained seated, and mearly smiled as the bandmates bantered for a while, then struck up the beginning chords to their first song.


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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am
User Image
.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh took a deep breath and took the mic off the stand, then walked to the front of the stage. "I have a question... How come, you all live about four blocks away from me, yet you freak out every time I open my mouth?" He asked in a light tone. He smiled as he got screams in return, and laughed his four year old giggle into the microphone, looking over at his mother as she covered her mouth. He assumed his laugh reminded her of when he was little, and he gave her a small smile, then turned back to the audience. "So, what do you guys want to hear first?" Josh asked. They had a concert line-up that they were supposed to follow, but Josh usually liked to mix it up. The line up was the same at every show they played, and he was getting some serious deja vu from it. He smiled as the crowd all yelled out different names, but when the name of one of his favourite songs got called, he smiled and walked back to his stand. "I heard Beside You. How many people said 'Beside You'?" He asked, once again being replied to with screams. He noticed a bunch of girls almost knock another girl down, and remembered what Ian had said the other night, about ambulances. He laughed once more, and fixed his guitar around his neck. Then Matt began to play, and Josh held the Microphone close to his lips. "When your tears are spent, on your last pretense. And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense. When it's in your spine, like you've walked for miles. And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while." Josh sang, listening as the crowd scream. "Oh way oh, way oh. Oh way oh, way oh" The rest of the boys sang back up, adding in their own instrument. "And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up. And I will hide you, when it gets too much. I'll be right beside you.. I'll be right beside you" He sang, picking the mic up from the stand once more and walking to the front of the stage. He held out his hand, and smiled as a bunch of people grabbed at his arm. "Woah there." He said as one girl almost pulled him off stage. He noticed a girl sitting, arms crossed, looking bored as anything. She was pretty. And something he noticed most about her, was that she didn't have a crazed look on her face. She looked like the concert hall was the last place she wanted to be. He stood up, losing his balance for a moment as a girl grabbed the bottom of his pants. The boys continued repeating the same part in the song while Josh socialized. "I'd really like it, if you could not grab those. I kind of need them..." He said to a girl, who continued to pull at his pant leg. He sighed and bent down, and carefully unhooked her fingers from the black denim.

-X- The girl screamed even louder as Josh's fingers wounder around hers, still trying to get her to let go. He sighed, wishing he had Lucy, who would just bite her. He instantly felt bad for thinking so, and was about to stand up once he got her fingers from his pant leg, but instead of his pants, she then grabbed his hand, and made it so that he would have to endure great pain to get away. He bit his lip as her manicured nail dug into his palm. He looked at his mother, who had a concerned look on her face, but Josh just shook his head, and looked down at the girl. "Please let go" He said quietly to her, taking the mic away from his mouth as he spoke. The girl screamed louder, and dug her finger nails even farther into Josh's hand, causing him to gasp in pain. Her friend then partly blinded Josh by flashing her camera right in Josh's face. Josh could feel tears stinging in his eyes, as the girls nails dug farther into his skin. He looked at her once more, praying she would realize how much she was hurting him. "Please. Let me go" Josh said softly, not wanting to be mean to the girl despite the pain she was causing him. Sadly she just continued to scream, and turned to her friend. "Omg. Sarah. I'm holding hands with Josh Ramsay. Omg, omg" She squealed, her friend squealing with her, as Josh tried to pull his hand away. Finally, with another gasp of pain he got his hand away, and he quickly ran over to Matt, not wanting anymore of his body parts within reach of the girl. He showed Matt his hand, and although it was shaking, Matt could clearly see blood flowing from the tiny cresent moon shaped cuts on his best friends hand. Matt then stopped playing, and signaled for Josh to go back stage. "Sorry folks. A little first aid." Matt said. Josh then put his mouth up to Matt's mic, and looked at the crowd. "Just got cut on a screw sticking out of the stage. No biggie." Josh said, tears continuing to sting in his eyes.

-X- Josh ran back stage as fast as he could. tears flowing from his eyes as he clutched his burning hand. It hurt so much, he was shocked. He ran into the dressing room, and tried to stop crying as Matt pressed a cold, damp towel against Josh's hand. "What the hell happened? There was no way a screw left nail marks" Matt asked, handing Josh a tissue. Josh took the tissue in the hand that Matt didn't have the towel pressed against, and held it against his eyes. "I went to the edge of the stage, and they almost pulled me off. Then as I was making my way back to the stand this one girl grabbed my pant leg, not only almost pulling me off stage, but also about to pull down my pants. So then, I reached down and tried to get her hand off my pants, but she wouldn't let go. So I used my hand to unwind her fingers, and then she grabbed my hand, and dug her nails in really hard, and she would not let go. She said "omg" instead of "oh my god". ********, it hurts" Josh said, wincing as Matt rubbed an alcohol cleaning pad against it. Then Matt took some gauze and placed it against Josh's still bleeding palm, and wrapped his hand with a tensor band. "Stupid hoe. Can you sing?" Matt asked, caring more about his friend's safety and feelings more then the concert. Josh nodded and brushed his hair from his eyes. "I'm fine. But ter-ust. I am not going near the edge again." Josh said, sliding off the dressing room counter. Matt gave Josh a smile, and then ran around the dark hallways, trying to find the way back. Matt got back onto stage before Josh, and gave Mike and Ian a quick thumbs up, letting them know they should start playing again. Josh ran onto stage and walked to his own mic, flexing his injured hand. He gave the crowd a smile, and then began singing again, his hand throbbing. He looked over at his mother, who had tears in her eyes, and gave her a reassuring smile, hoping she would know he was fine.



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нaץ∂eη єℓis мcKeηzie
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And I don't want the world to S E E me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand


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Still sitting, pretending to be bored, Hayden was actually singing along to the first song of the night. It was one of her favorites, Beside You, because it was a simple love song. Not overly complicated, yet there seemed to be a lot beneath the surface, a lot that Hayden just couldn't figure out, like a hidden message that only the song writer knew. And Josh sang.

"When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense.
When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles
And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while
If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you"


Closing her eyes, a slow smiled appeared on her lips as she sang along, throwing her heart into the song. But she was alone in the next verse. Wondering if she had the timing wrong, she opened her eyes just in time to see the lead singer being hulled offstage, holding his hand, and a group of fans squealing about how they held JOSH RAMSAY'S hand. Rolling her eyes, Hayden finally had a chance to stand, so she got up and walked out of the hall. There wasn't much reason to be in the stands really, no music was playing, but she stayed outside near a candy vendor, eyes closed as she waited for the music to return to her.

The music did eventually return, it seemed that Josh had recovered from whatever injury in his hand and was ready to sing again. Hayden opened her eyes after the announcer waved them back on stage, and she sighed and headed back to her seat. Scrambling to the front row, she tripped on a chair, bag, or person. There was no way to tell it was so chaotic. Hayden came down hard on her knee, and a soft cry escaped her, though no one would have heard it anyway. Sucking it up, she attempted to stand, leaning against the wall and using one of the seats to steady herself. Standing upright, buyt favoring the left leg, Hayden hobbled along the outside edge of the crowd, reaching her seat only after the song playing had ended. Her knee throbbing, she sank down into the soft velvet cushion and sighed into her hands. How am I going to get home?! I can't drive like this, I can hardly stand. No way am I going to be able to push the pedals of Sam's bucket of bolts, she thought in despair. She was totally ignoring the noise around her, to worried about what she would do next. "Shouldn't of come alone...Shoulda just stayed home..." she mumbled over and over again, thinking wildly of a way out of this mess.

Hayden hadn't even had time to appreciate one song in the concert. She and Sam had been waiting for this for months! And she'd blown it with her clumsiness. A security guard was patroling just underneath the lit up stage, making sure no stray fan snuck in back stage that way. She noticed Hayden holding her leg, the expression twisted with pain, and opened the gate to investigate. "Hun, you ok? 'Something wrong with your leg?"she shouted into her ear as she knelt down to inspect the swelling joint. Hayden nodded and yelled back that she'd been careless and tripped, and explained her predicament about getting home. The black-clad woman nodded in understanding, and yelled back, "Ok, hun. You need to get that knee looked at. I'll take you backstage and get the first-aid kit." Hayden couldn't thank her enough, but when she tried the woman hushed her and helped her up, supporting Hayden's left side with her arm under Hayden's. Hayden was lead outside the concert hall and through a door marked 'Authorized Personal Only', where she half-hopped, half-walked down a narrow hallway covered with thick black cords. Careful to watch her step, Hayden didn't pay too much attention to where the guardwoman lead her, but when there weren't anymore cords to look out for, she looked up and saw that she was in a dressing room. The guard eased her down in a nearby chair beside a table, and the first-aid kit was already opened, with a few band-aid wrappers lying about. Remebering Josh Ramsay's hand injury, she looked around and found the small waste basket filled with bloodstained paper towels. Sure enough, she was in her favorite band's dressing room, and was about to be treated with her faorite band's first-aid kit. Hayden expected to be excited when she figured this out, and was a little disappointed in herself when she found she was rather bored. Her knee still throbbing, she focused on what the woman did next.

The guardwoman set her down and was rummaging through the white box on the table, looking for the proper equipment. She pulled out an icepack, gauze, and medical tape, and set them down beside Hayden on the bench. The room thumped with the rythm of th drums, and Hayden could make out some of the lyrics to the song playing on stage, which from this room was probably ten feet. "Let's have a look-see," said the woman, and Hayden snapped her attention back to her knee. After prodding at a few sore spots- each time Hayden winced- she heard a "tks-tks", and the woman shook the icepack. After it grew cold, she asked Hayden to hold it in place while she wrapped it up, which Hayden obliged. It didn't take long, and the woman was holding the end of the gauze in place as she sealed the bandage up with the medical tape. Tapping her shoulders in comfort, the lady smiled and exclaimed,"There, all done!" Hayden smiled back, and thanked the guard again. She tried to stand, but even with the bandage, her knee still wasn't up to any sort of journey. "Now, now, don't you fret. That bandage isn't much good to you, so I need to go get the medic. You stay put while I go find him, I'll be right back," said the woman as she gently pushed Hayden back down to the bench. She gave a small warning glance, then smiled again, and walked off. Hayden sighed and rubbed her knee quietly, what else could she do?


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When E V E R Y T H I N G 'S made to be broken
I just want you to K N O W who I am
User Image
.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh took a deep breath as the song ended, and looked over at Matt. He smiled and stepped over to him, still flexing his aching hand. "Perfect?" Josh asked Matt, and Matt nodded, then turned and mouthed the word "perfect" to Ian who then began playing. Once the music started playing, Josh stepped up to the microphone. He always loved this song, but was always afriad to sing it, because of some of the references that were made in the song. He watched the front row as he waited for his cue, noticing the bored looking girl was gone. Good. If she didn't want to be here, she shouldn't have been taking up space He thought to himself. He instantly felt bad for thinking that, but then gasped as he noticed his mother wasn't in her place. He looked around franticly, but didn't have time to do anything. "Sing" Matt hissed at Josh. Josh nodded and took a deep breath, then placed his lips against the cold metal top of the microphone and closed his eyes as he began singing. "Please sing to me, I can see you open up to breathe. Fast words make it easier on me. I'd like to say that it's easy to stay but it's not for me, cause I'm barely here at all!" He sang into the microphone, meeting eyes with the girl who had cut his hand. He stared at her, and she winked at him, and began dancing. Josh rolled his eyes and looked away, meeting eyes with other fans, but not moving from his spot, even though fans that had done nothing were holding out their hands, just wishing for him to even get close. He took another deep breath, and continued to sing, doing his best to keep his voice even, depsite the shooting pain that kept stabbing at his palm whenever he wasn't expecting it. "Slow down now, the secrets out. And I swear now, everything is perfect. What you want, what you need has been killing me, try to be everything thing that you want me to be. I'll say yes, I'll undress, I'll do more for less. And I will change everything until its perfect again." He sang, looking around the edge of the crowds for his mom.

-X- At the end of the concert Josh looked down at his hand, blood seeping through the tensor Matt had wound around the cuts. Had it really been that bad? He gasped and waved with his other hand at the audience and put his mouth against the mic again. "Good night Vancouver! You've all been great! See you when we get back from our tour!" Josh called, before running off stage, leaving his guitar, and water bottle behind. Matt stopped and picked both up before walking off stage. "What happened?" Ian asked Matt as they walked through the dark back stage. "Some stupid text-whore stabbed Josh's hand five times" Matt said. Ian looked confused, then nodded. "Manicure... That boy is far too trusting. Fans will do anything to get their careless hands on him, and he always falls into their traps..." Ian said, feeling bad for Josh. Josh and Matt were both younger then Mike and Ian, and though Matt had learned never to get close enough to the fans, where the could grab any part of you but your finger tips. Yet Josh always trusted them, and tried to give them that bit more then any other band. Matt shook his head. He felt bad for Josh, who now didn't even want to go near the edge of the stage, and had stayed in the same position through-out the rest of the concert.

-X- Josh ran through the dark back stage, not even realizing that he'd left all his stuff on stage. He had run off before Matt had even turned off his amp. Josh began to unwind the bandage as he ran, the red spot getting larger and larger as he got through layers of material. He opened the door to the change room quickly, holding his burning hand. He walked over to the built in sink that they had in the change room. They had been a bit disapointed that they didn't have an in room bathroom, but the sink worked for what he needed to do. He pulled off all the wrappings and gauze, gasping as he looked at the five, large, gaping cresent moons in his hand. [********, ********, fu-uck, ********] Josh mumbled to himself as he ran his hand under the cold water. He watched as his palm turned from red, back to his normal colour, and was just wrapping his hand in a towel as he heard movement behind him. He turned slowly and his eyes widened as he saw the bored-looking girl from the front row sitting on their couch. "You know you're not 'sposed to be in here, right?" Josh asked her quietly, pulling the towel tight around his palm. Then he looked at the still open first aid kit, and more bandage wrappers. He nodded, as things began to click together. Just then the door opened, and Josh opened his mouth to speak, thinking it was Matt, but instead his mother waltzed in, with a backstage paramedic behind her. Josh closed his mouth, and leaned against the counter. His mother came and leaned with him. She took a deep breath, and then smiled. "Sorry I missed the concert Hon." She said quietly to him. Josh nodded. She had missed the entire thing? She hadn't seen any of it? He felt tears p***k in his eyes. It had been the worst night the boys had ever had at a concert, and all he wanted to do was go home and curl up with Lucy. "Sweetie? You look like you're about to cry. What happened to your hand?" She asked, taking the blood stained towel from Josh's hand to inspect. Josh looked away from her, and his hand, and stared at the white wall beside him. He could hear the slow murmurs of the paramedic speaking to the girl. "You got too close, didn't you?" She asked, disaprovel colouring her tone. Josh looked at her, anger in his eyes now. He yanked his burning hand away from her, and wrapped it in a new towel. "It wasn't my fault. She was going to pull down my pants... I... I asked her to let go" He said quietly, not really wanting the girl he didn't know to hear him fighting with his mother. "That isn't the point. I told you, they go crazy. You should have just said into the microphone 'someone get this girl away from me' and it would have been fine. Why can't you ever just let people help you? Now you have gaping cuts on your hand, and for what? To save a bit of dignity?" His mother said, slightly louder. A tear was forming on the edge of Josh's eyelid, about to spill over, when Matt walked in. Mike and Ian had gone to check out the tour bus. Matt stopped short and looked from Josh, to his mother, to the girl. He raised an eyebrow at the girl and walked over to Josh. "Who is she? She's hot" Matt asked Josh. Josh looked away from his mother, to Matt. "I don't know who she is, and frankly? I don't care" Josh said, about to walk from the dressing room when he heard a soft meow from under the counter. He bent down and looked at Lucy, who was laying down in her box. She began to purr when she saw Josh, and Josh smiled. "Luuuuuce" He cooed at the small animal, picking up the cage with his good hand and placing it on the counter. He opened the cage and Lucy climbed out. Josh picked her up carefully and cradelled her with one arm. He gasped as someone touched his hand with something wet, but calmed down when he saw it was Matt.


-X- Josh looked up at Matt, and Matt stepped even closer to Josh. "Keep it together. What happened?" Matt asked, taking Lucy gently from Josh. Josh pressed the wet towel against his hand and then leaned forward to cuddle the side of his face against Lucy, who began to purr the minute Josh came close to her. "Well, I came in, and then that girl was just like... There. So then my mom came in, and guess what? She missed the entire concert. She saw Beside You, and that's it. I don't even know why. She didn't tell me. Then she told me that I went through this" He said, holding out his bleeding hand. "To save my dignity" Josh said in a hushed tone. His mother looked up from the girl, whom she had moved to the moment Matt walked in, and looked at Josh. "I know you didn't do it for that, but... Why did you do it? You kept wincing every time you flexed your hand. Must hurt like a b***h... What could possibly have been so important that you couldn't just say 'get this hoe away from me'"? Matt asked. Josh sighed and looked at his shoes. "I didn't want to be mean..." Josh said quietly. He looked up at Matt after a few seconds, and a confused look crossed his face, as he took in Matt's shocked face. "You didn't want to be mean? You didnt... Want to be mean?!" Matt said, rather loud. Josh looked around the room, and met eyes with his mother again, who had a confused look on her face. "No, I didn't. Now can you please speak quieter?" Josh asked, his tone hushed once more. Matt looked at him in disbelief. "Joshua Ramsay, You are unbelievable." Matt said, his tone loud enough that everyone in the room could hear him. Josh took a deep breath. "How? Explain it to me" Josh said, an annoyed tone hitting his words. Matt rolled his eyes, and threw out his arms, accidently dropping Lucy, who ran across the room and jumped onto the couch where the girl sat. "You're kidding me right? SHE ******** HARASSED YOU, AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE MEAN?!" Matt yelled. Josh's eyes went wide, and Lucy let out a long meow in Matt's direction. At that moment, the paramedic said something to the girl, and then walked out. Josh's mother made her way over to the two boys, and was about to speak when Josh turned away and made his way to the door. "Forget it" He said, stepping out of the door.

-X- Josh made his way through the backstage, and walked past various people that were turning things off, winding up wires, and putting things away. He opened a clear glass door that said "court" on it, and stepped outside. He walked to a bench in the far corner, and sat down. He assumed it was a place for band members to go outside and smoke, or get fresh air without being mobbed. Josh began to hum the rythme to Good to You as his eyes surfed the small space around him. He took in the shadows from the few tree's, listened to the distant squeals of fans as they made their way from the stadium, and looked at the stars above him. He liked it there, and hoped that Matt, and his mother would just leave him to collect his thoughts. Something his mother said before made its way into his mind, causing him to think harder. Are you ashamed of what you are? her voice echoed in his mind. He looked thoughtfully at his shoes and sighed. He realized, that it didn't matter what his mother and friend thought of his actions. He was proud of what he had done. He had treated the girl as if she was any other person. He had never acted as if he were better then her. He chose his pain, over hers, and had decided that he would rather keep his reputation of a nice person, and his concience, then take the easy way out, and have the girl removed from the stadum. He smiled to himself, happy with his choice, as he pressed the towel harder against his palm.

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