ilyuhh
Offline
.All my indesiction...
>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<
...All of my excess...
_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.
-X- The car zoomed down the street, with all the windows open. Josh smiled as his hair blew around his face, his sunglasses being the only thing hiding him from fans. Someone did manage to recognize him as he slowed at a stop sign, and waved. He smiled at them, and wiggled his fingers slightly before driving off. He loved how normal people from Vancouver acted around him. There were still those times when people would knock on their door at 3 a.m. or would freak out if they saw the boys on the street, but most people were used to them, since a lot of people had grown up with them. Josh sighed and pulled into a mall parking lot, closing and locking the windows. He undid his seatbelt and pulled his knee’s up to his chest. Despite his happy feelings from talking to Ian, and bringing Maggie her stuff, he couldn’t help but feel… Sad. Maggie had pretty much rejected him. Was his confession not good enough? Or was the band really that important to her. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, wishing someone would just tell him what to do to make everything fit together. ”Life is turning out to be like a jigsaw puzzle.” Josh muttered to himself quietly. ”There’s a thousand pieces, which all need to fit together. Yet they can only actually fit with one of two other pieces, and if one piece isn’t pushed into the right space, nothing looks right. There’s only one way to solve it… Even if it takes your entire life to get it right” He continued. Then he opened the sun guard above the windshield and pulled open the small mirror. He stuck his tongue out, at inspected his tongue ring. Then he closed his mouth and the mirror and sighed. Do people think I’m a sell out? Or a wanna be? Maybe that’s all I am… Josh thought to himself, then slid his feet, until they were once again resting on the floor of the car, and quickly started up the car. ”Best pick me up in the world? Starbucks” Josh muttered happily to himself, then pulled out of the parking lot, making his way to the Starbucks that was in a less crowded area.
-X- Josh smiled as he pulled up to the curb, and didn’t take off his sunglasses until he was actually inside the Starbucks. He walked to the counter and smiled. ”Hey Karen” Josh said. Karen smiled and leaned against the counter. ”Hey Josh. I heard about the fire. Is everyone alright?” She asked. Josh nodded and shrugged. ”No one got hurt, but we lost a good amount of stuff.” Josh said. Karen shrugged as well and pushed away from the counter. ”At least you’re all alright. It sucks about the tour though. So anyway. What can I get for you?” Karen asked. Josh raised an eye brow and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Do you even have to ask?” he murmured, playing with the edge of his sleeve. Karen shook her head and smiled. ”I thought maybe you’d want something a little different. You gotta change thing’s up every once and a while” Karen called over the buzz of the drink machines. Josh smiled and shrugged. ”I’m the kind of guy that like’s things staying the same. s**t gets too complicated otherwise” Josh said, smiling as she pushed the drink towards him. ”Obviously. So… Speaking of things getting complicated. Have you and Maggie talked? Like… At all since you left?” Karen asked. Josh smiled, then sighed. ”Yeah… What’s happened between Maggie and I is kind of why I like things staying the same. s**t. Gets. Complicated. Not because of her… Just because… I don’t know.” Josh said, sipping his drink. ”Do you regret her coming back into your life?” Karen asked. She was another friend from school. She was graduating when Josh was in grade 9, and was now almost finished college, whereas Josh just finished high school. Josh shook his head vigorously, and swallowed quickly. ”Not at all. Matt’s the problem. Some stuff happened between him and Maggie, and then me and him, and then me and Maggie, and then me and him. And… Now the band is kind of split down the middle. We aren’t going to stop the band of anything just… Matt and Mike hate me and Ian, and me and Ian just want to explain what happened. I tried giving Matt some stuff earlier, and he shot me with a pellet gun…” Josh said. Karen chuckled and leaned against the counter once more, resting her elbows against the top. ”Weren’t you and Matt super close though?” Karen asked. Josh shrugged and sat on the counter. ”I guess. Although, now it’s kind of difficult to know what his intentions really were.” Josh mumbled, taking a long sip of his frappuccino once he’d finished speaking. ”What do you mean?” She asked. Josh sighed and scratched the back of his neck. ”He always liked Maggie. She was the only reason he became my friend. Now he’s the reason why I stopped talking to her.” Josh explained. Karen nodded and folded her hands. ”But now she’s the reason the band is fighting, right?” Karen asked. Josh nodded. ”Then wouldn’t the simplest option just be to let her go?” Karen asked softly, not wanting to make Josh angry. Josh sighed and shook his head. ”That wouldn’t fix anything. And even if it would, she means to much to me. I don’t want to lose her again…” Josh said quietly, not bothering to mention that he already had lost her again.
-X- Once Josh had finished his drink, he made his way back to the car. He let out a small sigh as he unlocked the door, and looked up as he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and gasped as he found himself face to face with a guy who was only a little bit taller then him. ”Who was that?” He asked. Josh looked to both sides of him, a confused look crossing his face. ”Huh?” Josh said in reply, extremely confused how who the boy was, and who he could possibly be talking about. He sighed impatiently, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, ”In the Starbucks. Who were you talking to, and how do you know her?” He asked. Josh crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, although the guy couldn’t see because Josh was still wearing his sunglasses. ”Uh… Her name is Karen. We went to high school together. But she’s older then me by three years.” Josh said quietly, noticing Karen giving him a questioning look through the window of the Starbucks. ”Mm-hmm. And how did you two become friends?” he asked. Josh rolled his eyes and leaned against the car. ”I don’t remember. It was four years ago” Josh mumbled. The boy raised his eyebrows at Josh then shifted his weight once more. ”Either way. Weren’t you a little bit… Close to her? Seeing as you have a girlfriend and all” he said. Josh’s eyes grew wide, and his mouth formed a small ‘o’ ”W-who said that? I don’t have a girlfriend” Josh mumbled, although he wished he did. He wished it were Maggie. The boy raised his eyebrow again, in a way that was really starting to piss Josh off. ”Oh really? Because… A source tells me that you are with someone. And that her name is Maggie” he said smugly. Josh’s eyes widened even more, but he quickly recovered and made his face emotionless. ”Who said that?” Josh asked. He laughed and copied Josh’s position of crossed arms. ”She did. Saw her in some coffee shop. She looked a little sad, but she told me aaall about you, and your past. And about how she’s your girl. Is that true?” he asked. Josh felt his breath catch in his chest. Maggie had told someone about him, and their friendship. Someone who was definitely related to the media in some way. He was also shocked that she would say that she was with him, when she had just told him she could be with him, only a few hours ago.
-X- Josh sighed in defeat and hung his head. Why was everything so confusing? ”I uh… I guess that’s true then. If that’s what she said” Josh said quietly. He nodded and smirked. ”S’what I thought. So um… What do you like about her? A guy like you could have anyone… Why her?” He asked. Josh looked at the sky and breathed in deeply. ”I love her. Simple as that” He said, then he opened the car door and slid in. He started up the ignition and drove off, smiling at the shocked look on the guy’s face. He drove slowly, not really wanting to be home just yet, because he knew that the minute he stepped through the door there would be tension. Josh sighed, as he thought back to the discussion with the reporter. Had Maggie really told him all about their past? Josh frowned in confusion. Maggie had never wanted anything like that in her life. She didn’t want the complications, yet she had told someone the one thing that would make everything more complicated. Josh and Matt’s fight included. He shook his head as he pulled into the drive way, and made his way up the front steps of the house, entering to the sound of laughter. Josh smiled as he stepped into the living room, seeing that the other three were all sitting on the couches, laughing about something one of them had said. ”Hey guys” Josh said happily. They all instantly stopped laughing, Mike and Matt looking at each other. Ian however, smiled and stood up. ”Hey. You’re back. Come on, we did a bit more shopping, so I’ll come help you cut tags off stuff.” Ian said, directing Josh from the room. ”You don’t have to. I didn’t mean to ruin the fun” Josh said resentfully. Ian shook his head. ”You didn’t ruin s**t. Matt just spilt water all over himself. Other then that, it’s still super uncomfortable with them. I was so glad when you stepped through the door.” Ian said. Josh smiled as they entered the room, and gasped as he realized how clean it was.
-X- ”What’d you do?” Josh asked, happy that he could finally walk across the room without having to watch of for stepping on something. Ian shrugged and followed Josh to his bed, where a bunch of colourful bags sat. They both sat down and began pulling stuff out, Josh trying stuff on while Ian cut tags. ”I love this stuff” Josh said, as he checked out his new jeans in the mirror. Ian chuckled and shook his head. ”You love everything that adds to your looks” Ian said. Josh narrowed his eyes and began putting clothes on hangers, so that he could just put them into the closet when they were done. Ian stood up once all the tags had been removed, and stretched. ”I think I’ll go start up some laundry, then get stuff ready for dinner. Wanna come help when you’re done?” Ian asked Josh, who was carefully putting clothes on hangers, so that all the hangers could face the same way. Josh looked up and smiled. ”Sure. What are you thinking of making?” Josh asked. Ian shrugged and began walking across the room, picking up his laundry basket on the way. ”Home made pizza or something. We’ve had waaay too much Mcdonalds lately” Ian said. Josh laughed, and ran his fingers through his hair, his smile evaporating once Ian had closed the door. Josh quickly finished putting all the clothes on hangers, then picked everything up and hung them in order of colour and what type of clothes they were. Josh liked how Ian had made it clear which side was Josh’s, and which side was his, instead of just having a mish-mosh of clothes thrown wherever they would fit. Josh sighed and stood, staring at his clothes. He loved how neat they looked, and how easily everything fit. Josh smiled and ran his fingers along his clothes, then jumped as a slender pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He smiled as they squeezed him, since he immediately knew who it was. Josh smiled even wider as Maggie said nothing would break them apart again, and felt his heart flutter with excitement as she kissed him. Josh was a little confused when she pulled him out of the room, and felt his stomach drop to his feet as she sat him down with the rest of them. Josh listened as Maggie spoke, feeling more and more like he was drowning as she went on. He loved what Maggie was saying, and how she was trying to fix everything, but Josh could see that it was only making Matt even more angry, and Mike even more disgusted in Josh. Josh looked over at Matt, who looked so angry that Josh was afraid that he would explode. And eventually, he did.
-X- Matt stood up, and looked straight at Maggie. ”I’m not rebuilding s**t with him. He’s a liar, a backstabber, and just a straight up d**k. He broke a promise to me, and now I hate him. I’m staying in the band, but I refuse to have anything to do with him” Matt growled. Mike smiled up at him, and Josh looked down at his pants, hoping Maggie wouldn’t say anything in reply to Matt. Then Josh stood up, and sighed. He looked right into Maggie’s eyes, hoping his face would tell her what he was trying to say, which was ‘thanks for trying. Might have made stuff worse, but I still love you, and I always will’. Then he walked from the room, his head hung low, as he tried to hide the fact that Matt’s words had hurt him. A lot. He made his way slowly up the stairs, tears building in his eyes as he sat on his bed. He wiped a tear away, that had fallen from his eyes and looked up as Ian walked into the room. ”She had guts to say that” Ian said, sitting beside Josh. Josh nodded and wiped his eyes, so that no more tears would fall in front of Ian. ”I know you love her and all, but I think that made stuff worse” Ian said softly. Josh nodded again and ran his fingers through his hair. ”yeah, but at least she said. It needed to be said, and it’s better it was said now, while everything is still all ********, instead of later, when it could cause more problems” Josh said. Ian nodded and sighed. ”True, true. So… are you and her together now?” Ian asked. Josh sighed and launched into his story about the reporter. ”So… She told the reporter that we were together, but she hasn’t really said anything to me. Other then she loves me, and that nothing will break us apart” Josh said. Ian shrugged. ”Maybe that was her way of saying ‘you’re mine. I’m yours. Simple as that’. Or maybe she’s waiting for you to ask her out” Ian said. Josh shook his head. ”She said she couldn’t be with me… And she hasn’t said anything about changing her mind. Can I really trust a reporter?” Josh asked. Ian shrugged again and sighed. ”You can’t. Anyway… I should go make sure a fight doesn’t break out down there. You stay here and… calm down a bit. Want me to send Maggie up?” Ian asked. Josh sighed. ” I don’t know if she’ll want to. I kind of just walked away from her… She’ll come if she wants… Just focus on calming Matt down, try not to draw attention to Maggie” Josh said, then buried his face in his hands, and let more tears fall from his eyes, as he thought back to what Matt had said.
