Let Us Come Together Again, Rocking Or Not {{private}}

[--x sweet whispers]

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мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

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I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Mrreeeeoooowww. That was the sound that Maggie had been listening to for the last hour as she made her way slowly towards her destination. Shadow didn't like being locked inside the kennel but Maggie had no other choice till that last meow drove her off the edge and she opened the door for the kitten who instantly jumped up onto the dashboard and curled into a ball, laying down in a patch of sun. "You are seriously one weird little kitty Sha." A giggled passed through her as she continued on and turned her attention back to the road while also listening to The Maine who was playing on the radio. After a while Maggie couldn't take her headache anymore so she reached into her bag and pulled out her medication, popping the bottle open before pulling out one of the pills and swallowing it without the need of water. When a few minutes passed by her headache subsided and she was able to focus better, finally realizing that her stomach had probably been growling for a long time. Looking around her she pulled off to a small town and went over to a random place, ordering herself a salad before paying for it and walking back to the car. Maggie propped her feet up on the dashboard while she eat her salad, staring out at the many people walking by who seemed to stop and look at Shadow who was chasing a fly along the windshield, the only problem was the bug was outside. The kitten stepped back a few paces before crouching down and suddenly jumping up, smacking right into the glass. Placing her food down Maggie took hold of her kitten. "You silly little boy, you should know better then to do that." Laughing to herself she smiled and placed the kitten back down and grabbed her food which she continued eating while Shadow ate bits and pieces of her chicken that she had laid out on a napkin in front of the steering wheel. After her food was completely gone she walked over to a trash can and threw everything away before hopping back into the car once more and setting out on the road, developing a case of the hiccups along the way. Even Shadow was getting annoyed with the hiccuping but when Maggie got them she usually had them for a long time which wouldn't suit well for her when she met up with the guys. Mumbling the words to a song on the radio she tried everything to get her hiccups away and after a while she actually managed to get them to stop completely which certainly seemed to make Shadow happy who looked as if he seriously had his paws over his small and fluffy ears.

♪♫ "Ah, no Shadow!" The fluffy kitten climbed up along the drivers seat and curled up into a ball on top of Maggie's head, his own head facing towards the open window which she rolled up a bit so Shadow couldn't fall out. "Come on Sha, move it or you go back into the kennel." The furry animal raised his head before jumping down and going back to the dashboard where he finished the chicken from before. "Seriously? Now is the time you decide to listen?!" Maggie shook her head slowly, she was probably losing her mind since she was actually talking to a kitten though she wouldn't worry much till she could hear the kitten talk back to her, that was when everyone needed to worry but nothing like that was happening. Kat was growing immensely bored, she didn't like driving but she always wanted to get away so she'd drive off to some unknown place till she had to call her brother for him to come help her. That usually only happened when Maggie was depressed but she hasn't acted up like that recently, not since she moved to Calgary but now that she was back in Vancouver she didn't know what would happen. Sighing Maggie looked up at a sign to see Whistler coming closer and closer which simply brought a smile to her face though it faltered when she remembered she hadn't received an answer from Matt. Almost at the exact moment that thought ran through her head her cell vibrated loudly against a can of Coke so she reached down and looked at the text quickly before smiling.

To: Matt
From: Maggie

Aww, I could always break in again but that was too much trouble so I think I'll just go through the guard. Anyway I'll probably be there soon so I'll hang with you guys before the show then do whatever after. Is Josh doing okay?

Luv, Maggie

Nodding lightly as she peeked back up to the road she hit the send button and went back to only focusing on driving though her mind was extremely excited now with the thought that she would be able to see Josh again...oh and Matt, can't forget about him along with the other guys...but Josh still beat them. Shadow let out a meow from the side and blinked towards Maggie before jumping onto her lap and laying there, purring loudly enough for it to reach her ears. Rolling her eyes she went down along the road faster till she finally managed to enter the town though she was a bit early so she drove around for a bit before parking her car at a curb and taking her bag, placing Shadow into it and then walking out towards the main part of the town. She went along the sidewalk for a bit before stopping somewhere and leaning against a wall only after that all she could remember was someone shouting, "Call 9-1-1!" before everything went completely blank.

♪♫ Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. The sound continued on for a long time but that was the only thing that existed, everything else a pitch black, almost as if no life existed but then where was the sound coming from and what was it? The world just seemed to be completely over, dark, and nonexistent as time went on, it was almost like she was dead. Was she? No...how could she hear then? Or how could she have thoughts? Or was this what it was like when you died? Suddenly more voices reached the inside of the black pit surrounding her. "Will she be okay doctor? As her nurse I understand that she just fainted but looking at her medical history..." There was a pause before the sound of feet shuffling and another, deeper voice rang out. "She'll be fine, she should actually be waking up soon. When she's up just give her the medication and let her go, she doesn't really need to be in here though we're lucky that it wasn't something serious." After that all that was left heard was the sound of a door shutting tightly before the darkness seemed to grow heavier and she was gone once more. Not long after the darkness subsided and images were fluttering past, images of a girl and a boy together. Right...it was her and...Josh. The memories flooded on, building up more and more till her imagination made its own image, an image that represented her feelings, an image of her and Josh kissing but that would always be a simple dream. Soon that image was gone and then everything went dark again, the darkness deepening once more. "No! Don't leave me...don't leave me Josh...not again..." And once more she was gone into the dark. Finally after what seemed like eternity the dark subsided once more and this time it was thin, almost like a mist for her. She concentrated on pushing through but it seemed like it just wiped the energy out of her instead of letting her cut through and wake up. With a deep breathe inside her mind she pushed hard once more to cut through and finally the dark was gone and her eyes fluttered open to a bright light that was pointed down right into her eyes. Maggie squinted her eyes and blinked blankly a few times till her eyes adjusted and she just stared at the ceiling of a very white room. Where was she? Why was she here? Was it too late for her to meet with Josh? Did she miss her chance to see him? What all happened? So many questions filled around her mind making her groan in pain and raise her arm up to her forehead where she noticed she had a needle sticking into her skin. Hospital. That's where she was and that needle was the I.V which was the dripping noise but where was the nurse and the doctor? Maggie tried to turn her head towards the door but a shooting pain stopped her short and she returned to her original position before opening her eyes that had closed from the pain. Her eyes fell on a clock and she realized that she hadn't actually been out long, maybe an hour which meant she still had time to meet the guys since they were probably just arriving. With the thought of seeing Josh in her mind she knew what she had to do.

♪♫ Maggie leaned up, ignoring the shooting pain that was running through her and she managed to sit up before the door opened suddenly showing a nurse with a few things in her hands. Smiling the nurse walked in and set everything down before turning to Maggie and taking the I.V out along with anything else attached to her. "What happened?" Maggie's voice was crackled and hoarse but she managed to get it out so it was comprehensible. The nurse's smile faltered before she turned to busy herself with something else. "You fainted from immense pressure to your skull, basically you had a migraine that went out of control." The blonde nodded lightly before looking up at the clock and sighing gently before her eyes shot open wide. "My kitten? Where is my kitten?" The nurse looked startled by her sudden burst but she recovered and pointed towards the door where Maggie's bag laid and Shadow was watching Maggie carefully. With a smile the teenager carefully stood up and reached over, picking the little kitten up and placing him on her lap as she waited for the nurse to say something. "How is the pain?" The nurse asked while signing a sheet and looking over a bottle. "Painful." She answered quietly while petting Shadow who was back to purring extremely loudly as if he was the happiest he had ever been at that moment. Smiling down towards her pet Maggie laughed quietly before she heard the nurse clear her throat so she looked up and the nurse began speaking. "The doctor canceled your other medication and put you on two new ones so you only need to worry about these now. You have a basic med that will keep the migraines away and limit your fainting to a minimal but watch out for the side effects which are the usual. The other one is a simple anti-depressant which the doctor strongly advises you to take everyday other then that you're free to go as long as you take it easy and don't over work your body." After that talk the nurse nodded her head and left, leaving Maggie staring at the two bottles though she was staring at one in particular. "Anti-depressants? Seriously?!" With a sigh Maggie stood up and pulled Josh's sweater back on which someone had taken off her and then she grabbed her bag and pulled it over her shoulder before opening the door, Shadow instantly making himself comfortable in one of the sweater's pockets. Kat walked up to the front desk and read over the papers before signing them and leaving through the main exit and looking around to where she was so she could figure out how to get back to her car.

♪♫ Maggie was walking quietly along the side of the road, looking down towards the ground except for every once in a while so she knew where she was going. Her mind was thinking about so many things that she had to just shut it all out so now her mind was completely blank, nothing floating about except for the fact that she needed to find her car which seemed to have disappeared till she managed to find it hidden in between two giant trucks. Groaning loudly she looked both ways of the street before walking across and unlocking the driver side door, getting in so she could place her bag in the passenger's seat. Maggie leaned her head against the steering wheel for a while before Shadow let out a meow as if to wake her from her dead-like state. She rubbed her eyes and blinked the sleepiness away from her eyes before she tossed the medication into her bag then stopped and took them out, looking around her bag till she decided to put the anti-depressants down at the very bottom underneath everything. Once it was hidden away she started the car and pulled out before driving down along the road. It was then that she realized how bad traffic would be because of the concert so she went off to the back roads and slowly made her way to the parking lot where fans for Marianas Trench were all talking and grouping in the parking spots. Shaking her head and sighing she moved back farther till she found a spot away from everyone and when the car was parked she grabbed her bag, made sure Shadow was in the pocket, and locked the car before she made her way towards the entrance that she needed to take but she stopped, her eyes instantly going wide. A giant cookie stand was in front of the main entrance selling possibly the biggest cookies Maggie had ever seen. "Don't Maggie, you need to get to Josh...but it is a cookie...but Josh...oh the cookie wins!" A smirk fell onto her lips as she walked over to the stand and bought a giant cookie, taking the last chocolate chip which sent a bunch of people into an outrage but Maggie just smiled and ate her cookie while walking away before leaning against a wall. She stayed there, pulling her cookie away from Shadow every once in a while till she pulled out her phone and rolled her eyes since there was still a long time till the concert. Once the cookie was demolished and nothing was left of it she threw the wrapper away and took a sip of her Coke before throwing that out and finally she went over to the door, the guard asking for her full name. "Maggie Kathrine Holts." She muttered and after a while the man opened the door and she walked in, smiling victoriously once she was in. "I had so much more fun breaking in last time." She whispered to herself before walking on down the hallways.

♪♫ Kat wandered around for a while before going towards the stage and looking out, everything looked as if it was ready. She stepped forward a bit before walking out to the center and twirling around gently till she stopped and looked out from the stage. "One day I'll be up here with fans screaming my name, one day I'll be free from my thoughts, one day I'll accomplish my dream of being with him, and one day I'll be number one..." Maggie whispered quietly before walking on back towards the hallways and finding the dressing room door. She stayed outside of it for a while, making sure her hair was neat and she didn't look like she had just been to the hospital. Once everything was okay she quietly and sneakily opened the door, looking through at the guys carefully before walking in and dropping her bag at the door then she hopped over to the couch and sat next to Josh, hugging him tightly. "Joshy! I missed you so much!" She gave him a toothy grin before turning and waving to everyone else till Shadow suddenly popped out and started crawling all over Josh. "Ah! Bad Shadow, you'll mess up Josh's clothes if you do that!" Maggie glared at the kitten before watching the little furry guy walk over to her bag and climb inside, sleeping in there. "I have the weirdest kitten in the world." Maggie muttered before turning back to Josh with a smile.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Once again Josh fell asleep, only this time he did it to get away from his thoughts, which were eating away at his sanity like piranhas. Once again Matt was shaking him, although he had to put more effort into then he did before. ”Why are you so tired all the time?” Matt asked, when he saw Josh’s eye was open. ”’Cause… Concerts wipe the s**t out of me. Go away. Sleep needs me more then you” Josh said, rolling over to stuff his face into the pillow again. Matt sighed, and sat on top of Josh. ”Ooooooow” Josh said, his voice muffled by the pillow. ”You see, I would let you sleep more, but the only reason I woke you up, is because we’re here. How about you go give Maggie’s name to the security dudes, so that she can get in, then sleep on the couch, or something? We don’t go on for a while, so jus bring your pillow and sleep.” Matt said, sliding off Josh. ”I dun wanna go on stage. They can… Get refunds” Josh mumbled sleepily. Matt put his hands on his hips and sighed. ”You lazy piece of crap. Get the hell up, and tell the head of security Maggie’s freaking name. Then drag your lazy a** to the dressing room, and sleep there.” Matt said, pulling the covers off Josh. Josh groaned, and reached out blindly for his blankets, even though he was wearing jeans, and the covers actually made it more awkward for him. ”If you don’t get up, I’ll pour ice water over your head” Matt threatened. Josh propped himself up on his elbows and glared at Matt. ”Can’t you just tell them Maggie’s name, and come get be before the show? Why is sleeping such a crime?” Josh whined, wishing he had his blanket back. Suddenly Mike showed up in the door, and shook his head at Josh. ”You run around, faaaar too much” Mike said, walking over to grab Josh’s feet. He then, pulled Josh feet first off the bed, laughing as Josh landed on the floor with a thump. ”Dicks…” He muttered, then grabbed his pillow off the bed, and curled up on the floor, closing his eyes to go back to sleep.

-X- After a ton of pulling, arguing and hitting, Matt and Mike got Josh off the floor, and carried his pillow and blanket to the dressing room. Josh made his way to the head of security’s office, yawning the whole way there. Gosh, did drama wipe him out. He felt so exhausted, that if the floor wasn’t concrete, he probably would have collapsed in a heap on the floor, and just slept until his was 30. He tapped on the door lightly, and heard a gruff “What?” from the other side of the door. Josh opened the door a little bit, and stuck his head into the office. The man behind the small desk immediately sat up straight, and cleared his throat when he saw Josh. ”Oh err… Hello Mr. Ramsay. Is everything alright back stage?” The man asked. He was large… Kind of Mr. Potato-head shaped, with brown hair, that was buzzed, and a fuzzy mustache. His office smelled like burritos, and spaghetti sauce, and there was a half eaten bologna sandwich sitting on top of a bunch of papers. Josh stepped in further, and scratched his chest as he spoke. ”I don’t mean to bother you sir, but I was just wondering if you could tell your staff, that if anyone by the name of ‘Maggie Katherine Holts’ comes by any of them, that they should let her in. She’s a close friend.” Josh said. The man nodded, and picked up half of his sandwich. ”Will do. Sandwich?” He asked, holding his pudgy arm out to Josh, offering him the sandwich. Josh shook his head, and gave the man a polite smile. ”I’m good, thanks. And thank you for letting your staff know… Have an err… great day” Josh said, yawning as he turned and walked from the office. As Josh walked, he looked in one of the mirrors as he passed it, and gasped as he noticed how messy his hair was. He quickly tried to smooth it down, and make it lay flat, but eventually gave up, and made his way to the stage, where his band members were all standing around doing sound check. ”hey bed-head. Wanna help?” Ian called as he noticed Josh slouching in a corner. The other two looked over to where Ian was looking, and smiled at Josh, who looked as if he were about to pass out. Josh shook his head. ”If I do sound check, I may sound like a dying cat. Not a pretty sound” Josh muttered, leaning against the back wall.

-X- The other three laughed as Josh, as he slowly slid from the leaning position, to a slumped sitting position on the floor, with his chin resting on his chest, his hair hanging in front of his face. Suddenly he felt someone beside him, and looked up to see Ian sitting beside him. ”Is all this Maggie stuff draining you?” Ian asked quietly. Josh nodded and rubbed his eyes. ”Thoughts of her and Matt together are haunting me. I’ve been so busy writing, and stuff… The stress of it all is making me a disaster.” Josh said, crossing his arms, as a cool breeze rolled through the stadium. Ian nodded. ”Josh, I think you should tell Matt… Seriously. It’s totally draining you, and although it’s nice of you to be thinking about your friends, you also have to think about your self” Ian said, watching as Matt moved around the stage, to help Mike move the lights properly. Josh sighed. ”He can’t know… Not only would he hate me for never telling him, but he would also hate me for asking him to give her up… He’d say I was being selfish” Josh muttered. Ian sighed. ”He’s the one being selfish. Without even realizing it. He’s only being concerned about himself, when really, as your best friend, you should come first. The same way he’s coming first to you. The same way you probably come first to Maggie… Maybe you should be telling her…” Ian said. Josh shook his head. ”Again. As my friend, she comes first. I’d rather be friends with the two of them, then have awkwardness, and hatred amongst them. It’s really the easiest way” Josh said, stifling a yawn as he spoke. Ian shook his head and stood up. ”Oh Josh, Josh, Josh. We’ll finish up here. You go sleep, so that you don’t sound drunk on stage. We’ll wake you up an hour before we go on stage” Ian said, holding his hands out to help Josh up. Josh took his hands gratefully, and pulled himself off, then dragged his half dead body off towards the dressing room.

-X- Josh moved in slow, jagged movements. He was trying to move quickly, so that he could get back to sleeping, but he was also moving slow, against his own wishes, because of the physical and mental exhaustion. When he finally made it to the dressing room, he was happy to see that the sofa was a nice suede one, not leather, which he probably would have gotten stuck to, if he laid on it too long. He looked at the counter, where the duffel bag sat, unpacked, and decided he might as well help, even if it was something small. He walked over to the counter, and unzipped the bag slowly and then began pulling things out, putting them in little groups, depending on which boy they belonged to. Then Josh lined them up, still in the groups, in the order of use. Josh’s eyes then fell upon a bunch f garment bags, and walked slowly over, unzipping every bag, then hanging up the clothes neatly. By the time he was done unpacking everything they had brought, he was even more exhausted, but the dressing room looked neat, organized, and a little bit like Josh’s bedroom at home. Josh yawned once more, and rubbed the back of his neck as he walked over to the small bathroom, and went to the washroom quickly, before making his way to the large, comfy look couch, which he then sprawled out on, and quickly fell asleep. At first, he could tell where he was, being only half asleep, although he definitely no longer ‘amongst the living’, as Matt would say. Then he was out in front of a crowd, only it was a crowd of Maggie’s, and no one else.

-X- Each Maggie had a different hairstyle, which Josh didn’t even know was possible, and they each were wearing different clothes. They were all shouting his name, as he stood on the stage, by himself. He had no microphone, or guitar, and the Maggie’s were getting more and more violent as they shouted for Josh to do something. Suddenly, his eyes were attracted to one figure in the crowd, which was not moving, but sitting perfectly still, staring at him, with a large smile on her face. It was the real Maggie. The one who would never pressure him. Who would never yell at him, but just smile up at him, like a mother would at her 5 year olds first ballet recital. He smiled back at her, and beckoned to her, for her to join him on stage. The real Maggie’s smile beamed, as she stood, and walked gracefully through the crowd. Then she walked up the steps to the stage, and walked up to Josh on the stage. ”Hello” Josh said, his voice echoed, and hollow. ”Hello Josh.” Maggie said, still smiling at him. Josh reached out, and ran his finger across her soft, pale cheek, and smiled at her. ”What’s going on?” He asked her. She looked at the crowd and frowned. ”I wish I knew.” She said, taking his hands in hers. ”Why are they so angry? What did I do wrong? Why am I alone? Where’s my band?” Josh asked, frantically. Maggie laughed, the sound metallic and empty, as it bounced around the room. ”You aren’t alone Josh. You’re never alone. You never had been. I’m here. We’re all here. Just for you.” Maggie said, smiling at him. Josh smiled back, and leaned forward, kissing Maggie gently on the lips. When he first pulled away, Maggie look surprised, but only for a moment. Then she smiled, and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. ”I love you Mags. More then anyone else” He said Maggie’s smile grew, and she squeezed his hands. ”I love you to Joshy… Joshy… Joshy” Her voice seemed to fade, and echo, and then Maggie slowly disappeared. The other Maggie’s all disappeared as well, one by one, until Josh was left alone in the giant room.

-X- ”Joshy! I missed you so much!” Somebody was saying around him. Suddenly there was pressure on his body, causing him to wake up all the way, only to see Maggie wrapped around him. Josh covered his mouth as he yawned, and then wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her back. ”Hey Mags.” He said, rubbing his forehead, as a steady pounding started inside his skull. ”How could you have missed me? I was away from you for what…? A day?” He said, sitting up to smile at the beautiful blonde girl in front of him. Then his eyes rested on the sweater she wore, and he raised an eyebrow. ”So, you’re the one who took my sweater…” Josh said, smiling as he noticed a tiny black kitten poking out of Maggie’s bag. He stood up and reached out for the small creature, laughing as the little animal jumped into his hand. He sat back down and instantly began to cuddle the tiny cat, smiling as it purred, and nibbled at his finger tips. Josh looked up as he heard movement around him, and saw Matt approaching Maggie. He met eyes with Ian, who shrugged and went back to whatever book he was reading. Then Matt put his hand gently on Maggie’s arm, and smiled as she turned around. ”Hey, can I talk to you outside for a sec?” Matt asked, his face and voice sounding confident, although Josh could tell he was nervous. When Maggie agreed, Matt motioned for her to go ahead of him, then turned and looked at Josh, who gave him the thumbs up. Matt smiled and continued out the door. Once he was closed, he directed Maggie a little farther away from the dressing room, in case any of them decided to try and listen through the door. Then he pulled out a single white rose and handed it to her, smiling. ”Josh said you liked cookies better then flowers, but I thought a flower would be… More romantic” Matt said, smiling at her. Then his smile faded and he looked at his shoes. ”hey um… So look Maggie… I’ve liked you for a while, and I was just wondering if… Maybe you wanted to go out… with me? And maybe come on tour with us… Just because… It’s a long tour and… I would hate to make you come all this way just to spend a few hours with us… So what do you think?” Matt asked, finishing quietly. He folded and unfolded his hands nervously behind him, and gave Maggie a shy smile, hoping she would say yes, while Josh was sitting in the dressing room, hoping Maggie would do whatever made her happiest.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Maggie watched Josh's sleeping figure begin to wake up, slowly though, as she just sat there with her eyes only focused on Josh since he was the one she wanted to see the most. When Josh returned her hug a small unnoticeable blush filled her cheeks before she leaned back and giggled lightly. The girl rolled her eyes at his question before sticking her tongue out at him like a five year old. "To some people a day can be a lifetime. I was completely bored and I really wanted to hang with my...best friend." For some reason she whispered this to Josh so the others wouldn't hear, maybe because she didn't want anyone suspecting that she loved Josh...though that wasn't a good plan since she practically made it as obvious as possible if hopes that Josh will see the truth that's right in front of her eyes. Maggie raised her arm up so her hand covered her mouth with the sleeve of the sweater covering her hand, her lips placed gently on the fabric. Before she had told Cam that it was a habit for her to chew on her sweater sleeves when she thought about her past but that wasn't the true fact. every since Maggie was a kid she'd do that whenever she was scared, nervous, and/or near Josh and right now she was facing all three but she was trying hard not to start chewing on the sleeve since Josh probably wouldn't like that. So she kept her mouth shut tight unless she had to talk in order to keep the habit out of play. Coughing lightly she shook her head before sitting down properly on her butt and leaning against Josh, placing her head lightly on his shoulder. "I'm tired...but still hyper. Did you know they're selling giant cookies in the front? That's why I was late, I could never pass up a good cookie." Her mind was spilling random things out as she laughed lightly to herself. When Josh mentioned the sweater a giggled passed her lips and she smiled to Josh. "I got cold and I thought you wouldn't mind, sorry Joshy!" Her eyes looked down to her kitten and rolled her eyes at the kitty before looking back up to Josh with the same smile she wore when they were younger, the shy and sweet smile that hid the words 'I love you' within. She sat forward and off of Josh when the boy reached down to the kitten, taking Josh's attention. Maggie huffed and leaned back against the couch, yes she was jealous of a kitten. Footsteps suddenly reached her ears and a shadow made things a bit darker. Looking up she met eyes with Matt, a small smile replacing her other smile as she looked back down and played with the hem of Josh's sweater. Matt's voice reached her head loudly and she blinked blankly up towards him for a moment. "Umm...yeah I guess." Maggie uncurled herself from her sitting position and stood up, stretching her arms and legs out before walking to the door though she paused for a moment and looked down to her bag before using her foot to push it behind the trash can that it was next to. Turning around to see if anyone had noticed she just opened the door and walked out, noticing instantly how much colder it was out there.

♪♫ Maggie stood outside the door, rocking on her feet before being lead away by Matt who stopped suddenly. While there was a short silence Maggie was looking around everywhere, noticing different things and making weird comments inside her head till she could hear Matt talking. Her eyes opened wide and she looked down at the white rose before taking it gently in her hands and raising it up to her nose, the sweet smell filled her nose as she smiled lightly and looked back up at Matt so her attention was on him again. "I do enjoy a good cookie but roses are just as good and it is very romantic..wait.." Inside Maggie she gasped loudly, romantic was not a word that should have been in there and with the rose...Matt wasn't going to ask, was he? His next words confirmed her belief as Matt practically asked her out. Looking back down at the rose she thought about Josh, how could she possibly say yes to Matt when she was madly in love with Josh? "Because Josh doesn't love you, you'll always be his best friend and nothing more." She looked back up at Matt and smiled to him softly before opening her mouth but instantly closing it, she had no idea what to say but...she had to take a chance. Josh didn't love her, he didn't return her feelings so why shouldn't she at least try to move on and maybe fall for someone else, maybe Matt. She lifted her fingers to the rose and trailed her finger tips along the rose petals before finally looking back up at Matt. "I...I think...I think you're gonna have to be prepared to deal with my weird antics, of course I'll go out with you and I'd love to go on tour with you guys as long as everyone else doesn't mind." A small giggled passed through her lips as she leaned up a bit and kissed Matt gently on the lips before taking his hand and pulling him back towards the door of the dressing room but once she got right in front of it and placed her free hand on the door knob she realized that she was scared to go in because of Josh, she didn't know what Josh would do or say but she was going to have to face it. Maggie pushed the door open lightly, instantly dropping Matt's hand as soon as they were both visible.

♪♫ Maggie coughed lightly again before she bent down and pulled out her bag, looking around for her bottle of water but her hand stopped and rested on her anti-depressants. She wanted so bad to throw them away but she knew she'd end up needing them soon, something she didn't want to have to admit to herself. Sighing quietly she pulled out one of her own sweaters and pulled Josh's off before straightening her shirt and pulling hers on. She stood up and dropped Josh's sweater on a chair before going back towards the couch and sitting on it, her eyes looking towards Josh and Matt the whole time. Kat pulled her hood up so it covered her face and she let her hair fall wherever as she closed her eyes and chewed lightly on her shirt sleeve. Her mind was quiet for once, not having anything to say after what just happened. She knew she should probably be right next to Matt hugging him or something but right now she wasn't feeling well, almost as if she was attacking her own self for saying yes to Matt. Standing up she just walked over to the bathroom and shut the door tightly before locking it and walking over to the mirror above the sink. The blonde placed both her hands on either side of the sink before staring herself down in the mirror, not even realizing that she was silently crying. She used her hand to wipe away her tears before turning the water on and bending down to wash her face. After a while she raised her head back up and made sure it looked as if she hadn't been crying then she fixed her hair and pulled her hood down, this time pulling all of her hair back so it was in a neat ponytail. "I should dye my hair completely black." Maggie thought to herself before shaking her head and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. The sound of screaming fans reached her ears which told her that the concert would start in only a matter of minutes. Groaning lightly she turned the light out and walked over to the door, opening it and entering back into the room where she walked over to the couch and sat back down with her phone pulled out.

♪♫ "Be careful out there Josh, you never know when those fans of yours will pull you off the stage." Her voice finally reached out but it crackled a bit which made Maggie mentally slap herself. After a while she got on the internet through her phone and pulled up the weather report which she didn't like one bit since it was supposed to storm later tonight and into tomorrow. Maggie was deathly afraid of storms, always has been since she was younger but whenever a storm was coming Josh would always stay over and keep her mind occupied till the storm went away or he'd just hold on to her, stroking her hair which always seemed to make her fall asleep no matter what. Now was different though she couldn't walk up to Josh and ask him to hold her tightly till the storm passes and she didn't want to bother Matt with her problems. "It's supposed to storm tonight and tomorrow." Maggie called out to no one in particular though she was really hoping for a reaction from one certain person. Closing her eyes and sighing she turned over and reached out, tugging lightly on Matt's hand before pulling him closer a bit. Sitting up she got to her feet and yawned before hugging Matt tightly and whispering in his ear. "Good luck out there and watch out for the girls." She smiled to him before turning to the others. "Make this show the best one you've had so far." Kat gave a small nod to them before sitting down, pulling Matt down with her and sitting on his lap with her head on his shoulder. She played with his hair for a bit though making sure not to mess it up before she moved down to intertwine her fingers with Matt's. Out of the corner of her eye she kept looking toward Josh, her heart longing to be with him but she knew it wasn't possible. Suddenly the door opened and some dude came in, telling the boys that they needed to get ready to go out there before he shut the door and disappeared once more. Maggie groaned and wrapped her arms tightly around Matt's neck, not wanting him to leave her just yet since she was comfortable. "Have a great show Matt..." She whispered before kissing him on the cheek and letting him leave with the other guys so they could get on with the concert.

♪♫ Once Maggie was alone in the room she pulled her bag out and grabbed the bottle of water along with the anti-depressants. She held them in her hands for a while, reading the labels and just staring at the pills before she sighed loudly and opened it, pulling out one of the pills. She shut the bottle tightly before placing it on a table in the room while she popped the pill into her mouth and pushed it down her throat with water. For a while after that she just sat there, thinking about nothing and everything, but as time went on she realized she needed to do a few things. The blonde girl walked out of the room, completely forgetting about the bottle of pills that she had left out, and went down to the door where she had come through but she stopped and opened the door slightly, seeing a dozen or so reporters waiting for someone to either come out or for the show to end so they could get to Marianas Trench. Groaning quietly she shut the door and walked down the hall again till she reached another exit and walked out through there, going around the whole place till she was back to the parking lot and heading to her car. Maggie unlocked the doors and sat in the driver's seat for a while before resting her head on the steering wheel, her arm reaching back to grabbed her stuff that was back there. Once she had her stuff with her she sent a message to her brother saying thanks and asking how he knew that she would need the duffel-bag full of her stuff. Also she asked him to pick up her car from here whenever he got a chance. After that was done she didn't get out of the car, she just sat there for a while before finally getting out and now facing the challenge of getting past the reporters. Lucky for her the guard outside the door spotted her and nodded before disappearing and coming back with a few other guys who all pushed the reporters away long enough for Maggie to get in without anyone seeing her. Once she was in she kept the door open a little and watched as the guards left and the reporters were now sitting on the ground chatting as they waited. "Wow..." That one word was the only thing that managed to get threw her mind before she laughed quietly and walked on back to the dressing room, opening the door to drop her bag off and closing it before heading towards the stage. She stayed hidden but she could see easily and her eyes flickered from Mike to Ian then Matt and finally her eyes landed on Josh. Someone suddenly tapped her shoulder and she snapped around quickly so she was face-to-face with a man. "Um sorry miss but there's a male at the door saying he's your brother, a mister Nathan Alexander Holts." Maggie nodded and told him to let Nathan in before she turned back to look at the boys for a moment longer then she disappeared to meet up with Nate. "Wow, I feel bad for those guys. The reporters are like wild dogs waiting for their prey to come out of hiding." Maggie giggled and rolled her eyes at her brother before speaking to him. "So whatcha doing all the way up here? I told you to get my car tomorrow." Nathan looked towards the stage and stared out for a while then pulled out a guitar case from behind him. "I found it on the piano and I suspected that it was new so I thought I'd drop by and give it to you." A smile formed on the blonde girl's lips as she hugged her brother tightly. "Thanks but I can't let them see it, umm....oh just break into the bus and hide it but don't let anyone see you." Nathan rolled his eyes at his sister and shook his head. "I'm the master at breaking into things so I don't think I'll get caught." Maggie raised an eyebrow before crossing her arms over her chest. "You think you're the master but we all know I'm better at that, ha we're two delinquent siblings." Maggie laughed and said bye to her brother before he left and she turned back to the boys once more, smiling since the concert would be over soon. That was when she went back to the room and laid on the couch, falling asleep after a while.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Ian met eyes with Josh from across the room, Josh only looking up from the small kitten in his hand when he felt eyes on him. ”Are you okay?” Ian asked. Josh nodded and Mike looked confused. ”Am I missing something?” Mike asked, looking between the two boys. ”Matt is asking Maggie out” Josh muttered, opening a small bag of chips. He placed a small chip on his leg, near the kitten, and watched as the little animal licked all the salt off, then munched on the chip .”Why does it matter if he asks her out? I mean, you’re all friends. Isn’t that why he became your friend in the first place?” Mike asked. Ian shot Mike a dirty look, and them gave Josh a sympathetic look. ”You’re right Mike… and it doesn’t matter... I’m just afraid that uh… That it will ruin the friendship, if they break up badly…” Josh said, wishing he could hear what was happening between the two of them. Josh had told Matt to get her a warm chocolate chip cookie, as that was the best way to her heart, but Matt insisted on a rose. What bothered Josh even more, was that Matt had gotten her a white rose. When Josh had asked why he chose white instead of red he only said ‘I like white roses better’ without even thinking about what certain flower colours meant. Red was romantic. It was the best way to say that you loved someone through flowers. Josh had told Matt, but Matt still insisted that since he was paying for it, he would choose the colour. Ian and Mike both nodded. ”I know Maggie means a lot to you Josh, but she also means a lot to Matt… You gotta let go of whatever happened when you and Maggie were little, go. You guys drifted apart. Your problem, not Matt’s. Let him be happy” Mike said. Josh felt his eyes watering, as Mike’s words hit him like bullets. ”Mike… That’s not fair…” Ian said quietly to Mike, seeing Josh’s eye glazing over with tears that were threatening to escape. ”No. It is. I’m just being honest.” Mike said. Josh looked down at the kitten on his leg, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes so that Mike couldn’t see the affect his words had on Josh. ”I never said I was trying to make him unhappy. That I didn’t want him to try to be with her.” Josh said quietly, so that any cracks in his voice wouldn’t be easily heard. Mike shook his head. ”Then why should Ian even have to ask if you’re okay? He’s your best friend. You’re supposed to support him” Mike said. Ian shook his head at Mike, and then glanced at Josh. ”Mike, stop” Ian said, warning in his tone. Ian and Mike were two years older then Matt and Josh, and Ian thought of Josh like a little brother, whom he wanted to protect.

-X- Josh’s eyes continued to fill with tears, as Mike shot more accusations at him. ”I’m not going to stop. Josh, you’re being selfish” Mike said. Josh’s head shot up, anger on his face. ”How am I being selfish?! I haven’t done anything but help Matt through this!” Josh shot back at him, causing the little kitten to jump at the sudden loudness in his voice. Mike glared at Josh, as he processed the words. ”How have you helped him? So you told him some stuff about Maggie from when she was six. So you told him she like’s cookies. Did you ever actually say to him ‘I support you’?” Mike shouted at Josh. Josh brushed hair from his eyes, and the tears finally spilt over the edge of his eyelid. ”Why should I have to?” Josh spat back. Matt knew Josh supported him through anything, and everything. Just like he did with Maggie. ”Mike, Maggie is Josh’s best friend. As is Matt. I can see why Josh may not be okay with them dating” Ian said quietly, earning him a glare from Mike. ”And why might that be?” Mike asked. Ian shrugged. ”If something happens, Josh would have to pick a side. In that kind of thing, he couldn’t stay neutral… Because Matt wouldn’t want Maggie around in fear of awkwardness, but Josh may want Maggie around, and Maggie may want to see Josh, and so on. If Josh sided with Maggie, that could easily be the end of the band” Ian explained, his voice quiet and reasonable. ”He would have to choose Matt’s side.” Mike said. Josh’s eyes widened. ”I can choose whoever’s side I want to! Plus, how would it be fair to choose Matt, if he were at fault? Just to save the band? That’s selfish of you Mike. Maggie’s been my best friend since like… before I can remember. How could I choose anyone over her?” Josh asked, his voice getting softer. Mike shook his head. ”Selfish” Mike said. Josh’s eyes narrowed and he picked up the small black kitten, and stood up. ”Whatever. I’m not fighting with you about this anymore.” Josh said, and cradled the small animal in his hands, as he walked passed Maggie and Matt, who walked in the door just as he left.

-X- Josh rested the little cat on top of his head, and walked through the backstage. He chuckled as the kitten clung to his hair, and made his way to the stage. Once he was there, he looked at all the empty seats, and then at his guitar, which was propped against a wall. He walked over, and plugged it into the amp, and then put the little cat down on top of the amp, and stood a few feet away. Then he sat on the floor, cross legged, and began playing “Good to You”, smiling as the cat as he laid down, and looked at Josh, who was strumming happily. Josh looked at the ceiling, then down at the floor of the stage, which he was currently seated on. Then the words flowed from his lips flawlessly, not a word wrong, even though he had only finished it a day ago, the song seemed to be etched into his mind, just like Maggie was.

Everyone’s around, no words are coming out.
And I can’t find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?
I know it’s not enough, I still don’t measure up.
I know I’m not prepared, sorrys’ never there when you, need it.

And I do, want you to know. I’ll hold you up above everyone.
And I do, want you to know.
I think you’d be good to me.
And I’d be soo good to you.

I thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines.
But maybe it’s me, maybe I only see, what I want.
I still have your letter, just got caught between.
Someone I just invented, who I really am, and who I’ve become.

And I do want you to know
I'll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know
I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you
I would

And I do want you to know
I'll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know
I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you

I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you (I'd be so good to you)

Josh sang, smiling as he finished. He giggled as the little cat jumped from the amp and walked to Josh, and nibbled lovingly on the males fingertips, almost as if he could tell that the song had been written for Maggie. Josh looked up as he heard footsteps, and smiled at Ian as he walked over to him. ”That really is a beautiful song Josh. Although, anyone close to you, would know it was about Maggie” Ian said, sitting beside Josh on the stage. Josh sighed and began tuning his guitar. ”I know. Which is why no one can ever hear it. Especially Matt… Or Maggie” Josh said, petting the cat’s head absentmindedly. ”it sucks… That one of your best, also happens to be one of your most personal. But don’t throw that into the vault of songs never to be used. You may want to refer back to it when you feel ready to tell Maggie your feelings.” Ian said. Josh nodded and rubbed under the little animals chin. ”She’s with Matt. Which means she doesn’t return my feelings, although that’s something to keep in mind” Josh murmured, scooping the cat up in his hands. Josh then stood, and put his guitar back where it was, staring at the ground where he stood once he was done. Ian walked over, and put his hand on Josh’s back. ”You’ll get through this. I can tell all of this is hard for you. But you’re stronger then all of this. That’s why Matt is with her… and not you. Because you’re strong enough to deal with all of this, whereas he isn’t” Ian said. ”I don’t feel strong” Josh whispered, keeping his eyes on his shoes. ”But you are. Now… We should go back. You gotta get ready for the show, and I’m sure Maggie wants to share her great news with you” Ian said. Josh nodded, but really didn’t want to go back, and hear about how happy she was that Matt had asked her out. But he did want to be around her… To see her. He quickly ran his hand across his face, to make sure no tears had escaped his eyes, and held Shadow carefully, as he and Ian walked back to the change room.


-X- Josh walked in, and plopped down on the couch next to Maggie, who was cuddled against Matt. Josh instantly felt nauseous when he noticed them holding hands, but didn’t say anything about it. Josh stared at the wall, allowing himself to zone out, only hearing little blips of conversations around him, until the one voice that could break him out of any daydream spoke, causing Josh to tune back in. ”It’s supposed to storm tonight and tomorrow” Maggie said, causing Josh to look over at her. Josh knew that Maggie was terrified of storms, and there had been quite a few times where she had called him at two in the morning, and he had to sneak out of his house, and then somehow sneak into her house. He had never gotten caught, and had always left a note for his parents saying “Slept over at Maggie’s. See you later” and they had never questioned him. He would climb up the tree outside her room, and then he’d climb into the window, and they would either sit on her floor, her in his lap, with his arms around them, or they would lay in her bed, and he would just talk with her, or sing to her until she fell asleep. Josh sighed, as more memories filled his head. Then he stood up and walked over to the wracks of clothing, and pulled a black pinstripe button down shirt off his hanger. Then he pulled off his shirt, and pulled the black one on, not even worrying that Maggie was here. He buttoned it slowly, then put on a white tie, and fixed his collar until it was laying properly over the tie. He stayed in his gray slim jeans, and whatever shoes he had been wearing. Then he rolled up the sleeves of the shirt to his elbows, and watched Maggie and Matt in the mirror as he did his hair. Josh sighed, as he could hear cheers, knowing that he would have to go out there, and act as if nothing was wrong, even though he felt like a sand castle, that had just been hit by a tidal wave. He felt tears build in his eyes as he saw Maggie kiss Matt’s cheek, and couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to be in Matt’s position. He had held hands with Maggie before, but never the way a couple would. She had kissed Josh’s cheek before, but it had never meant anything. Josh took a deep breath, and pushed his body away from the counter, and walked to the door. ”I’m going out to watch the opening band.” Josh said, then walked straight out the door, without looking at anyone besides Ian, who had also seen the kiss, and was now giving Josh an apologetic look.

-X- Josh walked quickly through the dark hallways, picking up his feet, instead of scuffling, so that he didn’t trip on any wires. He sighed as the music got louder, and he could hear a few notes of the song the other band was playing. The one good thing, other then Matt and Maggie’s happiness, that was coming out of this, was that Josh was getting closer to Ian. Matt had always been the one Josh would tell stuff to. The one Josh would want to hang out with, or eat breakfast with, or go on between show shopping trips. Josh sighed as he realized that he had never really been completely honest with Matt, and now Ian was the only person he could be truly honest with. Josh picked up his guitar, so that he would be ready when the other band got off, and hummed along quietly with them as they played. He was suddenly aware of someone near him, and realized it was only Mike. ”Sorry” Mike muttered quietly. Josh looked away, towards the crowd, so that all Mike could see was the back of Josh’s head. ”I don’t want to get into it right now, Mike” Josh said, smiling as he met eyes with the drummer of the other band. ”You and Ian are hiding something” Mike said. Josh still didn’t look at him, but took a deep, loud breath. ”I said I don’t want to get into it” Josh said, giving Matt a small, half-hearted smile as he walked over with Ian. ”Yo, Josh. Guess what?” Matt said happily into Josh’s ear. ”What?” Josh asked, his voice quiet, and shaky, although Matt didn’t seem to notice. ”When I asked her, she said yes, and then she kissed me. Like… On the lips” Matt said, sounding like her was going to burst. Josh felt his heart drop into his stomach, but he still smiled at Matt and patted his shoulder. ”That’s great. I’m happy for you” Josh said, then walked onto stage. He walked to the microphone, and smiled as the audience cheered for him. ”hello Whistler” Josh said into the microphone, and then the rest of the concert went by in a flash.

-X- Josh was happy that they were on the last song, and was trying not to let the anxiousness, and anticipation show through. ”Trust in, trust in me. Don’t pull away. Just trust in me, trust in me. Cause I’m just trying to keep it together, cause I could do worse, and you could do better!” Josh sang out, noticing Matt smiling at the amount of emotion in Josh’s voice. Once the concert was over, Josh stood behind the curtain as he waited for everyone to leave the seats, then he crossed the stage and started getting all the equipment ready for when they left. He wrapped up all the chords, and one by one carried everything out to the bus. Then he walked onto the bus, and washed his face, and fixed his hair. Once he had cooled down, he went to a small linen closet they had, and pulled out some blankets and a pillow, and then walked up the stairs, and put the pillow and blankets on one of the soft suede couches, then went down his room, and packed up whatever stuff had been unpacked, made the bed, and sprayed a bit of his cologne, so that the room would smell somewhat nice for Maggie. He also grabbed a sweater, that hadn’t been packed back up. Then he went outside, and leaned against the bus, smiling as he saw the others come out the side door. He looked a little confused when he didn’t see Maggie, but then realized that she was still in the doorway. Matt didn’t even seem to notice that she wasn’t with him, which made Josh sigh. Josh ran past them over to Maggie. ”Forgot about the reporters. Sorry Mags” Josh murmured, then wrapped his sweater around her head, and picked her up, carrying her over his shoulder as he walked to the bus. He was chuckling as he carried her, because she couldn’t see anything. Once he was inside the bus, he carried her to his room, and put her down, happy that Matt wasn’t in site. Then he unwrapped the sweater and smiled. ”Welcome to your new room, Mistress Maggie” Josh said, picking up his own suitcases, so that he could bring them upstairs. ”I’ll leave you to get settled. Matt is right across from you, and I’ll be upstairs on the couch. Just shout for one of us if you need anything” Josh said, then went up the narrow stairs to the second floor of the bus, and put his luggage down. Then he sat on the couch and buried his face in his hands, feeling more wiped out, and tired then he usually did after shows.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Maggie sighed heavily as she looked up towards the sky with her eyes closed, letting the rain drip onto her soft, pale skin before rolling on down to the ground. Thankfully it was only raining otherwise Maggie would be back at home where she could sit in her bedroom under the covers. Now she was just at one of the neighborhood parks, sitting on one of the swings while she thought quietly to herself. Secretly she was crying but the rain hid it well so it just looked as if she was dripping wet. Footsteps sounded off suddenly, sloshing around in the mud as they seemed to come closer and closer. Maggie opened her eyes carefully, still looking towards the sky till she finally lowered her face so she was looking at Josh who stood beside her. "What are you doing out here Maggie?" His voice sounded through the rain, slicing through the air as it made its way to her ears. Maggie shook her head and looked up at Josh before wiping her face off. "Nothing." The girl mumbled before standing up and walking away but Josh just followed, standing close to her till she stopped and he turned around to face her. "Everything feels like it's going to fall apart, slowly this is all breaking my heart. I need you to look closer then ever, realize what's there and try to make things better. I need you and I can't keep that a secret, I'm tired of looking for my exit. Just let me finally break through, hear my I love you..." Her voice sang out deeply as she looked toward Josh with tear filled eyes. The rain had stopped leaving Maggie cold as she stood there in front of the man of her dreams. "Why can't you see what's right in front of your face Josh? Why haven't you been able to see that I've loved you all along?" Now her voice came out in a shout, tears falling down her face as she looked down towards the ground. Suddenly Josh was in front of her, he placed his hand on her cheek and wiped away the tears as he lifted her head up to face himself. "I have Maggie, I love you too." A smile like never before fell onto Maggie's lips as she looked up to the sky, the storm clouds were disappearing and the sun was shining brightly as the blue sky looked down at them. Everything seemed to be clear, more perfect, and so much more beautiful then it had ever been before. The girl turned to the boy and wrapped her arm around his neck before he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up so their lips met.

♪♫ Maggie woke up suddenly and rubbed her eyes carefully before sitting up and letting a yawn out. Her mind was still focused on her dream, it all seemed so real yet it was so far from actually being real. For years she's wished that Josh would hold her like that and kiss her but it seemed like that won't be happening anytime soon, she had Matt now and there was no turning back. What bothered Maggie now was how Josh had been acting, none of the others may have noticed but Maggie did, something was troubling him and Maggie wanted to know what it was so she could see if she could help. The blonde sighed once more before standing up and looking around before she grabbed everything of her's and walked towards her bag to put it all away. The door suddenly opened and Maggie dropped everything she had in her hands with a gasp before calming down at the sight of Mike, Ian, and Matt. "Oh gosh, don't scare me like that!" Maggie called out before bending down and gathering up everything of hers with the help of Ian though Maggie didn't realize that Ian had gabbed the stuff that held the pills. Once she placed her pile into her bag and quickly took the stuff from Ian, hoping he didn't see the bottle, and muttered a 'thank you' before placing everything away neatly. When she stood up she felt arms around her and she turned slightly to smile at Matt. "Sorry for scaring you Mags, I didn't mean to." Maggie flinched lightly when Matt called her Mags, she had an issue with that because Josh was always the only one who called her that so eventually she only let him call her that. "Yeah, it's alright I know you didn't do it purposely." She muttered quietly before shaking her head lightly and pulled herself away from Matt. She moved bag down to her bag and looked around before spotting Shadow off in a corner. Once she managed to get the kitten into her bag she placed everything down on the couch and turned around only to crash into Ian. "Oh! Sorry Ian, I didn't notice you behind me." Ian laughed lightly before grinning at Maggie. "It's fine, I actually didn't know you were there. You're a lot more quieter when Josh isn't around." Kat looked up at Ian before back down to her feet. It wasn't that she was quieter but she was just shy, in reality she wasn't much of a social person but when Josh was around she knew she could be herself because Josh was there to protect her and encourage her, without him she just hid away herself. "Um yeah I guess, usually I have Josh around me so I guess I kinda get shy and feel awkward without him by my side. When we were younger me and Josh were inseparable and so I kinda got used to that and I knew he was always there to protect me in case something happened. Without him I just get scared and turn into this shy girl who can't do anything for herself." Maggie ran her hand through her hair, shuffling it all around and pulling the ponytail out of it so her hair fell down in curls since it was put up. Ian stared down to Maggie before sighing and answering Maggie. "Sounds like you guys were really close." Maggie turned around and faced the wall, not wanting Ian to see her in case her tears fell from her eyes. After a while she turned back around and nodded her head with a smile before sighing loudly. "We could have been so much closer if I hadn't of been so scared." She spoke out without even realizing it. Her eyes went wide as her hand flew to cover her mouth while looking to Ian. Stuttering she finally managed to excuse herself before she walked off and into the hallway, leaning against the wall and trying hard to calm down her nerves.

♪♫ After what seemed like forever Maggie went back into the room just as Matt stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled to him and went to sit beside him on the couch. She stayed like that for a while, sitting close to Matt with his arm around her as Mike, Ian, and Matt all talked. Maggie looked towards the door, wondering where Josh went but she just stayed where she was and closed her eyes gently. Matt woke Maggie up when he stood up so she stretched her arms out and blinked blankly a few times before just leaning back into the couch, not able to really stand up. Ian laughed at Maggie which earned him a glare so he walked over and lifted her up to her feet carefully, not letting go till she had full balance. "Thank you Ian. MIKE!" Maggie ran out the door and grabbed her stuff from Mike before laughing quietly and falling behind the guys. Her eyes were focused on the door they were heading to, the door that separated them from the dozen or so reporters just waiting to get a story and could you imagine what kind of story would come out if Maggie was found out? By the time she reached the doorway all the guys were halfway to the bus but Maggie couldn't leave, she wouldn't, since she didn't want to be found out about yet, she wanted everything to be a secret till she knew she wouldn't be bothered about whatever gets told about her. Maggie was about to just turn back around but the sight of Josh running towards her made her stay put as she waited patiently for him. She let Josh hide her and pick her up though once they were halfway she whisper to Josh through the sweater. "I can't forget about them, I wish I wasn't so scared of what they'd say if I became known then I could walk out by your side..." After a while Maggie could feel warm air around her then she let Josh put her down and took a deep breathe when the sweatshirt was removed. "Why thank you very much for the welcome but I don't completely agree with you giving up your room, you'll make me feel bad." She pouted and crossed her arms like a little girl before giggling and giving a wave to Josh as he left. Once he was gone she leaned against the doorway and looking around for a bit before she re-treated back into the room and dropped her suitcase down onto the floor. She bent down and stopped suddenly looking down under the bed and smiling happily as she pulled out her guitar. Once she had it out in the open she placed it down on the bed and opened the case, taking it out and playing a soft tune before she placed it back in the case. Standing up she looked around outside of the room till she found a closet and opened it, smiling when her eyes landed on an extra guitar stand. She pulled it out and walked back into the room before placing her new guitar on the stand. After that she looked through her clothes and pulled out a tank-top along with some shorts and anything else she needed for the night before she headed to the bathroom and took a shower, this time spending a bit of time in there just to wash away worries left around in her mind. When she got out she pulled on her clothes and headed out over to the table where Matt was sitting while eating something. Smiling she sat down next to him and gave him a peck on the cheek before saying goodnight and leaving back to Josh's room. She crawled into the bed and laid there for a long time just smelling the scent of Josh while also thinking of words to a new song she would write in the morning.

♪♫ X -- The Next Day -- X

Maggie was sitting carefully on the bed, strumming a tune on her guitar quietly enough so it wouldn't wake anyone else up since it was only five in the morning. Her eyes were closed as she paused for a moment, placing her guitar pick in between her lips, and she wrote down a few more words before smiling and strumming the guitar again. The song was perfect and she had actually managed to finish this song unlike all her others which were only partially done. Finally she placed the guitar down and fixed her hair, wrapping it up in a messy bun before she picked up the guitar once more and strumming the opening before she started to sing the words, already knowing them by heart.

I miss those blue eyes, how you kissed me at night
I miss the way we see, like there's no sunrise
The taste of your smile, I miss the way we breathe
But I never told you, what I should have said
No I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine, you make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
Its like I'm gone with me

Maggie stopped, her eyes closed as she strummed along more, the pace getting a bit faster as she tapped her foot along with it. Her mind was only thinking of Josh, there was no one else who had even dared to enter her mind whenever this song popped up in her mind. Smiling she strummed faster and faster till it came to an abrupt slow pace and she continued singing.

But I never told you, what I should have said
No I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
But I never told you, what I should have said
No I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, cant believe that I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...

Maggie finished the song and smiled triumphantly as she placed the guitar back on the stand and took the paper with the lyrics written down into her hands then placed it in the guitar case under the bed. She let out a yawn before moving out of the room and stretching her arms out. Goosebumps raised on her arms and legs from the cold but she shook it away and looked around the mini kitchen for something to eat before just getting her self a bowl of cereal. While she sat at the table munching on the food she hummed her song and looked out the window to the road which looked empty since it was so early. But what caught her attention the most were the dark clouds that were filling the sky so it looked like it was still night time. The pitch black clouds were always a bad sign and when it started to rain she shuttered before finishing her cereal and moving away from the window. Maggie frowned at the pile of dishes in the sink so she set to washing them while her mind was focusing on anything possible besides the rain hitting the windows.

♪♫ Once all the dishes were done and put away Maggie looked back out just in time to see the lightning flash down, thunder soon following after it. Sighing she walked over to Josh's room and sat down on the bed, trying to find something to calm her down so she put all her clothes away in the closet and she let Shadow out of his kennel so he could walk around the room and the rest of the bus. At first Maggie just placed everything in a random order in the closet but then she took everything down and sorted it by color which she soon found out it worked best that way. She smiled lightly before going through her clothes and pulled out an outfit. She pulled the clothes on and walked over to her bag again and dug around in there till something square fell into her hands. Maggie tilted her head in curiosity before pulling a jewelry box out and opening it with a smile. She took out the only item in there and placed it around her neck so it was standing out. Walking over to a mirror she smiled at the sight of the necklace Josh had given Maggie for her fifteenth birthday which was a locket with her name and Josh's name engraved on the front. There was nothing inside yet but an idea popped in her head and she ran back to the room pulling the paper with the lyrics to her new song out. Maggie rip off any unused part of the paper before folding it up and placing it inside the locket, sighing with relief as it fit perfectly. She coughed a bit and shook her head before going over to the door and opening it so if Josh came down she could go hang with him but otherwise she was staying in the room till the storm passed over.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Josh waited until Maggie was out of the shower to grab his pajamas and towel. He then made his way down the stairs to the bathroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. He noticed Maggie sitting beside Matt, and pulled off his shirt as he walked through the bathroom door, making a bet with himself, to see how long he could go without cracking, and punching Matt in the face. Josh then finished stripping down and stepped into the shower, turning the water all the way to hot, flinching as the scalding water pricked against his skin. After ten minutes of the scalding water hitting him, he got used it to, and the heat began to relax his muscles, and he just stood there, letting his mind wander wherever it wished. He mostly thought about Ian. Would Josh still be able to consider Matt his best friend? He couldn’t be around Matt, knowing that he was with the girl he was in love with. And he couldn’t be around Maggie, when she was with Matt. Although Ian had said he was strong, Josh didn’t believe it. He was easily at his weakest right now, and he didn’t want Maggie, or Matt to see that. Ian seemed to be the only one josh could talk to, which made Josh both happy, and sad. As much as he loved talking to Ian, he also would have loved to tell either of his best friends everything that was happening, instead of just using Ian when he had no one else. It felt wrong. Josh sighed, and turned off the water, shivering at the sudden temperature change, of the water to the air. Josh them dried himself off, and wrapped his towel around his waist, while he brushed his hair and teeth. Once he was done, he dug through his toiletries bag. When he finally got to the bottom of all his stuff, he smiled as his fingers ran across a piece of stiff paper. He lifted the edge with his finger tips, and carefully pulled the paper out. He brushed dried toothpaste crumbs and dust off it, and smiled as Maggie’s face appeared on the paper. He held the picture carefully in his hands. It was the night of his birthday when he took that picture. That one night seemed to be etched in his memory, as if it was just the night before. Maggie was smiling adorably in the picture, her icy eyes twinkling in the light of Josh’s flash, her hair messy, but still pretty. He sighed, and put the picture back in the bag. ”I never once forgot about you Maggie…” Josh whispered as he zipped up his toiletries bag.

-X- Josh then pulled on his pajamas and made his way to the kitchen area, where Matt and Mike both sat, bread and butter between them as they spoke. ”Hey” Josh said, leaning against the table. ”Hey dude. Hey uh… Thanks for all the advice and stuff” Matt said. Josh nodded and rubbed his eyes, then pushed his wet hair from his forehead. ”Not a problem. Anyway, I just wanted to say goodnight” Josh said, then turned and made his way up the stairs. ”hey Josh? Why are you going up?” Matt called. Josh shook his head, a little disappointed that Matt hadn’t even thought about sleeping conditions for his girlfriend. ”Maggie is using my room” Josh said. Matt looked confused, and rubbed his head. ”Why? The couch is fine. I mean… It shouldn’t really matter where she sleeps, does it?” Matt asked. Josh rolled his eyes, a little bit annoyed at how little Matt cared. ”I was trying to be polite. Chivalrous. I don’t mind the couch” Josh said, then got up the rest of the stairs and walked over to the make shift bed he made for himself. He snuggled down under the blankets, and then pressed his face into the pillow, and just let tears flow silently from his eyes, a few sobs breaking from his chest every once and a while. Josh glanced up, as he heard a door open, and gave Ian a sheepish grin, wiping his eyes and sitting up, as Ian crossed the small, narrow room. ”I was trying to sleep, but your sobs were making it difficult.” Ian said, sitting down beside Josh. ”Sorry. I just… needed to get it out” Josh said, sniffling. Ian nodded. ”Totally understood. I just thought I’d come make sure you were alright” Ian said. Josh smiled and ran his fingers through his damp hair. ”I’m fine now. Hey Ian… Do you think if I… y’know.. Tried being with someone else, would that help me get over her? So her and Matt could be happy?” Josh asked. Ian looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook his head. ” If you love someone, the way you love Maggie… it’s usually best to just wait until the feelings either go away, or are returned. It will get far too messy if you do it that way. It’s also a form of using… You aren’t the type to use someone.” Ian said. Josh nodded, and smiled at Ian as he stood up. ”Thanks Ian.” Josh said, then he laid out and got snuggled back up into his original position. ”No problem Josh” Ian said, before walking back into his room, closing the door behind him, leaving Josh in darkness.

-X- Next Day -X-

-X- Josh awoke to the sound of rain beating against the window. He looked around, confused, when he saw he wasn’t in his room. Oh right… Maggie Josh thought, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. It was light enough that Josh could see things around him, although it was only about 5:40 in the morning. Josh could have easily slept longer, but he knew Matt liked to sleep in, which would give Josh a few good hours of Maggie time before Matt even got up. Before Josh would need to start avoiding them again. Josh sat there for a minute, then got up and went into the small washroom on Mike and Ian’s floor. Josh plugged in his flat iron, and brushed his teeth while he waited for it to heat up. Then he straightened the parts of his hair that were sticking up, and continued messing with his hair until it looked exactly the way he liked it. Then he rolled on a bit of deodorant, and cologne, then he walked back into the area he was now using as his bedroom, and unzipped his suit case. He searched through it for a while, until he finally found something he wanted to wear. Josh pulled on his slim black jeans, a white polo t-shirt, and his black high top converse. Then he walked down the stairs quietly, and looked into his room, to see Maggie sitting on the bed, with her eyes closed. Josh smiled, and walked past quickly, so that she wouldn’t see him. Then he walked to the kitchen area, and pulled a can of Coke Zero out of the fridge, placing it on the table gently, before going into the freezer to get two pieces of bread. Josh popped the bread in the toaster, and opened his cola as quietly as he could, and took a sip, smiling as the bubbles glided down his throat. The other boys had always asked Josh why he preferred Coke in the morning, over coffee, or anything else. Josh always just said ‘I prefer the sweet bubbly taste, over the bitterness of coffee’ and no one had ever questioned him again. Josh jumped as his toast popped out, and he walked over, pulling it out quickly, so that it didn’t burn his finger tips.

-X- Josh pulled the butter from the fridge, and buttered his toast carefully, making sure that there was even amounts of butter, so that he didn’t get a ton of butter in one bite, and none in another. Once he had it just the way he liked it, he put the butter away, and sat down, sipping his coke between bites of toast. He chewed each bite thoroughly, and carefully, lingering between bites, as if he was trying to put off anything he may have had to do before going to make sure Maggie was okay. He was mostly doing it, because it kept his mind busy, stopping all the memories that pushed at the walls of his brain from getting in. sip, bite, chew, chew, chew, chew, swallow. Sip, bite, chew, chew, chew, chew, swallow was all that went through Josh’s mind as he ate his food. Once he was done, having only a can of coke in front of him, he stood up and washed his plate, and the knife he used to butter his toast, scrubbing at each dish much more then needed. He even towel dried them, and if they had a water mark on them, Josh would keep rubbing at it with the towel until it went away. Josh then sat back down, and sipped his drink, letting memories flood through him, the wall no longer being strong enough to hold them back. ”Maggie! Wait up!” a 7 year old Josh called, panting as he chased after the smiling blonde who continued to run despite the young male’s calls. ”Come on Josh. I told you, we don’t have a lot of time.” Maggie called, stopping only for a moment before she continued running. Josh gasped, and panted, then sped up to follow Maggie towards one of the many trails in Vancouver. ”You’re so fast” He called, trying to catch up to her, more so he didn’t lose her. She turned around and giggled, then turned back around, just in time to jump over the root of a tree that was sticking out of the ground. ”You’re so sloooow. I told you eating all those Oreo’s wasn’t a good idea” She called. Josh rolled his eyes, gasping in pleasure when Maggie finally stopped. ”You dragged me out of bed, and away from my cartoons for this? A big tree?” Josh said, following Maggie’s eyes, which here looking at a branch on the large tree in front of them. Maggie nodded, and rubbed her hands together, then reached up, and wrapped her small hands around the branch. ”Josh, give me a boost. Then I can help pull you up” Maggie said, her voice strained, from holding on. Josh shook his head. ”Mags, you’re insane” He said, but still stepped forward, and lefted her off the ground, pushing her upwards so that she could get onto the branch. Then she reached down, and helped him get up. Then they both began to climb, until they found a long, sturdy branch that stuck out farther then most of the other ones. One by one, the two of them had crawled to middle of the branch, just looking out over the city of Vancouver, their home. Maggie sighed, and rested her head against Josh’s shoulder. Josh smiled, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. ”This is really pretty” Josh said, watching as the sun slowly went higher and higher into the sky. ”I know… Josh… This can be our place.” Maggie said. Josh smiled at her, and then looked back at the sky, suddenly not wanting to be anywhere else, with anyone else.

-X- Josh gasped as he suddenly broke out from his memory, as if he had been swimming in a pool all the way from the bottom, and he had made it to the top just before he ran out of air. Josh closed his eyes, and shivered as a breeze rolled in through the half open window of the bus. Josh was a little confused as to why no rain had come through, but shrugged and closed the window, then remembered Maggie. She was probably huddled under the covers. She always hated storms for some reason, although Josh loved them. Maybe he loved them, because she hated them. Because they gave him a reason to hold her in his arms. Because it gave him a reason to sneak into his house late at night, and just stay with her. Josh remember one night… He and Maggie were 15. It was a huge storm, that knocked out the power. They hadn’t had a big storm in a while, and Josh was excited for it. Lightning had always fascinated him, although he wasn’t sure why. He was curled up, listening to the sound of the wind blowing, the rain hitting his window and his roof, and the thunder, which clashed every now and then. He was just on the edge of sleep, when his cell phone started bleeping. Josh groaned, but quickly answered it when he saw it was Maggie. ”Hey Mags, what’s wrong?” he asked, knowing she wouldn’t call at that time of night unless it was important. ”Josh, I’m scared” She murmured into the phone, her voice quiet, and definitely scared. ”Of what?” Josh asked, knowing the answer already. ”Of the storm. Josh, please come… I can’t sleep” Maggie pleaded into the phone, not even sounding like herself. ”How?” Josh had whispered, so that his parent’s didn’t hear. ”The tree outside my window. Climb up, and tap three times. I’ll let you in” Maggie said. Josh sighed and slid out of his warm bed. ”I’m on my way” he had said. ”Thanks Josh, you’re the best” She said. Josh sighed again, and closed his phone, then pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, then his converse and his rain jacket. He pulled a piece of paper from his desk, writing a quick note, saying that he had last minute plans to stay at Maggie’s house. Then he tip toed through his house, and slipped out his front door. He ran all the way to Maggie’s house, trying to save as much time as he could. He climbed carefully up the tree, and tapped on the window, smiling as his pretty blonde friend slid the window open, and reached out to help pull his in. Once he was in, with the window closed, he pulled off his jacket, and Maggie handed him a towel to dry off as best as he could. Then he pulled off his shoes, and they both climbed into Maggie’s bed, Maggie cuddling against Josh. They had sat there talking, almost all night, Maggie squealing and burring her face into Josh’s chest every time the thunder clashed outside.

-X- And just as it had in his memory, the thunder clashed in the real world, causing Josh to snap out of his thoughts. He sighed, and stood up, then walked slowly to his room, which Maggie was using, and knocked lightly on the door, just to let her know he was there. ”hey beautiful” He said, smiling at her as he crossed the room, and sat down on the bed beside her. Then he pulled her closer to him, and wrapped his arms around her. ”How are you? How did you sleep?” He whispered in her ear, smiling as the smell of her drifted to his nose. Josh felt the strange fluttery feeling again, as he realized just how close he was at that moment, to the one, and only girl he would ever love unconditionally. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, wishing he could just stay there forever in that position with her, just like he had when he was fifteen, and just like he had whenever Maggie got scared. He wanted to be there for her, like no one else could. Like not even Matt could. He wanted to be her everything, just like she was his everything, and he only wanted her to say the words ‘I love you Josh’ from her perfect lips. Right then he decided that what he truly wanted was happiness, and that even if he wasn’t ready to just yet, he would risk everything, just for a chance at hearing Maggie say she felt the same.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ A 10 year old Maggie sighed loudly as she sat on the doorstep to her house. Her parents weren't home so she was locked out with no way to get inside her home which was not good since it was extremely hot outside that day. Maggie mumbled incoherent words as she stood up and walked around to her backyard where she sat down on the rocker swing and swayed back and forth as she looked up to the tree in her backyard that held a large tree house. The girl stopped suddenly as she spotted something or someone up in the tree house so she ran along the grass and climbed up, peeking up to see Josh sitting there watching the television that was up there during the day. "Josh, what are you doing up here?" She asked quietly as she sat down beside him. The girl didn't get an answer for a while as the boy just stared at the television screen but eventually when a commercial came on he smiled to Maggie. "What's it look like? I'm watching one of my favorite shows." The smaller Maggie rolled her eyes before pointing around her. "Yeah but why are you in my tree house?" The boy looked out the window of the large structure before he turned back around and grabbed a cookie from a box off to the side. "I actually don't know why I came here." He mumbled before stuffing the cookie into his mouth and offering some to Maggie, knowing she'd take them and that's exactly what she did. Her small fingers wrapped around a cookie and she pulled it out before she stuffed it into her mouth and moved closer to Josh so she could see the screen of the television. The two stayed like that for most of the day till Maggie's parents and her brother came back home when it got dark. Maggie had watched Josh leave through the window before she went to bed with a smile on her face. She was so young yet she was already falling for Josh... Maggie stared blankly at the wall with a smile on her face as she remember the incident as if it happened yesterday but out of everything her and Josh did together there was one memory that would be forever in her memory, she would never, ever let it go and that was when she went to Homecoming in her second year of high school.

♪♫ "Ow..." Maggie mumbled for the zillionth time in a row since the whole thing started. "Sorry dear but if you'd stop moving then we wouldn't be having this problem." The fifteen year old Maggie sighed heavily before looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair blonde hair was cut shorter then her black hair and was pined up in a bun with curls falling out of it while her black hair was straightened and parted so it flowed evenly down her shoulders. Her face was more exposed, her skin flawless after weeks of taking care of it, her lips were shining from the lip gloss and her eyes were shining their magnificent blue color, being more enhanced since she had heavy eyeliner on and a light silver eyeshadow. Her mother nodded for her to stand up and she did so they could slip on her dress which looked beautiful on her. It was a black dress that cut down low and deep at the chest area, it followed her top curves perfectly all the way down to the bottom of her stomach before it dropped straight with a slit down the side. The bottom of the dress had a silver flower pattern that went all around the very bottom before going up and around the slit on the side. After the dress was on Maggie was left alone and she twirled around before smiling. Homecoming wasn't as fancy as prom but no one every really cared, they always dressed up to be the best but this time Maggie was dressing up to impress one person, the one person she wished was her date for tonight but instead she was going alone while he went with some other girl. "Maggie!" Mrs. Holts called out for her daughter loudly just as Maggie slipped on her black high-heels and walked down towards the front door. "I'm here!" Pictures were taken, laughs were heard, and smiles were passed as Nathan and his girlfriend along with Maggie left the house to the car waiting for them. It was a short trip to get to the school but it seemed like forever for Maggie as she impatiently stared out the window, thinking about Josh and what he might have been doing at that moment. Her thoughts were interrupted as her brother called her name for her to get out of the car which she did before hurrying up the stone steps and walking into the gym where the Homecoming dance was being held. It was obvious that many heads turned when Maggie appeared but she ignored them and made her way to the back where she rested against the wall in order to try and calm her nerves down that were in full alert. Her mind was mixed in a jumble that she didn't even realize Josh was beside her till she heard him clear his throat. "Wow...Maggie you look...beautiful." A blush filled her cheeks as she looked down to the ground before looking back to Josh and looking at him up and down. "You look handsome tonight." She replied before her eyes went straight back down to the floor. The two of them talked for a little after that till Josh suddenly asked Maggie to dance which she agreed to. Right when they made it to the dance floor a slow song came on and Maggie giggled, suggesting they wait but Josh said that they had to danced now and Maggie had no objections to that. She let him place his hands on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled at him before resting her head on his shoulder as they moved to the music. "Whatever happened to that girl that you were supposed to come here with?" Maggie asked as she lifted her head up and looked at Josh as he smiled. "I really don't know." After 5 songs went on they finally separated and Maggie was the happiest she had ever been before.

♪♫ Maggie sighed before reaching her hand up and wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. "I should have told you then Josh, I should have muttered those three words but I didn't...I can't believe I was so stupid to let you slip through my grasp." Maggie choked on her sobs as she cried for a bit before finally calming down and wiping her face, making sure she looked normal. Her ears perked up as she heard movement so she went over to the doorway and leaned against it as she just watched Josh, laughing at him as she noticed he grabbed a Coke Zero. Her eyes were so focused on Josh, as if he was the only thing in the world and to Kat he was. She had friends and family but no one could ever compare to Josh, no one could ever beat their bond. Even though there was that long period of time without him she still felt like she had that connection with him, it was like nothing could destroy it and she just hoped that Josh felt the same about their bond. Sighing quietly she walked back into the room and covered her ears as she heard another roll of thunder and it just seemed to get more frequent and louder as time went on. Her mind seemed to grow in a haze as she tried so hard to block the storm out but nothing was working, it was like she was caught in that moment with no way out, the sound of the storm repeating over and over again in her mind till she collapsed to the ground. Luckily she didn't make much of a noise so she was able to pick herself back up and sit down on the bed without Josh running in all worried. Maggie shivered heavily but she refused to move at all, she couldn't take it anymore and as she could hear the storm it just seemed to echo through her mind. Her eyes were glazed over, almost looking as if she was a body with no soul even though that how she was practically feeling. The sound of footsteps coming towards the room shook Maggie out of her state and she turned her eyes to the doorway to see Josh walking in. "Hey cutie." She smiled carefully to Josh before looking down to the bed when he sat down next to her. She didn't say anything against Josh holding her, she just closed her eyes and took deep breathes in order to calm her nerves down. She opened her eyes and pulled herself away from Josh quickly before running over to the door and locking it. Not wanting anyone to walk in since this was her time to actually be with Josh and only Josh.

♪♫ Maggie leaned her forehead against the door for a moment before walking back over to the bed and crawling on top of it. This time though she went to the end with the pillows, pulling Josh along with her as she laid down with Josh at her side and she pulled the covers over the both of them. Maggie wasn't cold anymore which meant she didn't have to worry about freezing her butt off while talking to Josh. Th blonde smiled up to Josh before she ran her fingers through his hair, messing it up like she used to do when they were younger. "I'm feeling much better with you here now and I slept okay. I was asleep before the storm from last night came but now this storm is scaring me to death practically." As soon as the words left her mouth a loud crack sounded from outside and Maggie flinched, burying her face into Josh's chest. "I told you..." She muttered before sighing and releasing the tight hold she had on him. With her head resting back on the pillow she smiled up to Josh again. "I'm assuming you have a concert tonight which means you're going to be really tried later." She sighed softly before continuing on. "Do me a favor and don't over work yourself. Everyone has a limit and I think you're reaching that limit." Her fingers were playing instinctively with the necklace around her neck as she looked down towards the bed, her eyes unable to make contact with Josh in fear of breaking into tears. "Um..I never managed to say thank you for yesterday, Matt didn't really get why I didn't want the reporters seeing me and then you came to my rescue which I was so happy about." Another sound of thunder crackled out which made Maggie press herself closer to Josh, she was really starting to get scared of the storm more and more which wouldn't help her at all with her mind already in a frenzy. Groaning once more she broke into tears and just silently cried for a while before only sniffles were left. For some reason she started laughing as she wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry, I'm like a little kid scared of the boogy-man or something."

♪♫ Once Maggie was completely cleared of all tears and she gained her normal breathing pace she sat up and reached over to her guitar, lifting it off the stand and setting it on her lap. "I wrote this song recently and I want your opinion on it. It's just something random that came off the top of my head." She held the guitar in her hands tightly before she started playing the opening tune, her eyes were closed and she was humming along as she took a deep breathe before starting the beginning singing portion.

I miss those blue eyes, how you kissed me at night
I miss the way we sleep, like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile, I miss the way we breathe
But I never told you, what I should have said
No, I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine, you make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
Its like I'm gone with me

She stopped singing but continued humming as she played at a faster pace, her eyes opening as she looked to Josh with a smile on her face before she started singing again, this time her eyes never left his. Her voice started coming out, almost like silk as it was soft and balanced.

But I never told you, what I should have said
No, I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
But I never told you, what I should have said
No I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, cant believe that I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...

Maggie continued strumming for a while longer before ending on a sharp note and then placing her guitar back on the stand "So what do you think? I know it may suck but I thought it was rather nice when I finished it and read through it a few times." While she waited for a reply she curled back into the blankets and moved back to her original position so she was close to Josh. Looking up at his eyes once more she brushed her fingertips along the bottom of them before she frowned slightly. Looking into Josh's eyes she could tell something wasn't right but she couldn't figure out what it was that could possibly be bothering Josh. She sighed lightly before wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his chest since he was a good four inches taller then her. Smiling to herself she remembered how they would always fight over who was taller but in the end Josh won since he had a massive growth spurt compared to Maggie who's been 5'4 since she was fourteen.

♪♫ Another loud crack sounded again and Maggie just closed her eyes, whimpering lightly before she gained control of herself again. "Josh...over the time we've been friend you've told me everything, you've never kept a secret from me and I really respect that, I'm happy that I'm so important to where you have to do that but I haven't been completely honest with you so I think I'll tell you my secret so then you know everything but one thing. I can't tell you that one thing cause its something you can't know and I hope you'll respect that." She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, she wasn't going to tell him she loved him but she was going to tell him something just as big as that. "You remember when we were kids I would always get sick or I'd have random fainting spells? Well lately they've been getting worst, they're happening more often and I don't seem to recover as quickly as I usually do. Yesterday when I was on my way to meet you guys I ended up fainting on the sidewalk and had to get transported to the hospital. I'm growing more scared because the doctors all say there isn't anything wrong with me yet it all keeps getting worst." Her voice cracked at the end as she tried to keep herself under control, she had a feeling that this would be the only time she would get to open up to Josh and she wasn't about to waste that chance.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Matt walked across the classroom, his eyes shifting around the room until they landed on the one person he was looking for. Matt met eyes with Josh, and made his way to the desk, where just Josh sat. Matt shifted uncomfortably with the strap of his backpack, and wouldn’t look Josh in the eyes as he spoke. ”hey… Could I sit with you?” Matt asked, his voice quiet. Josh shrugged, and moved his chair from the middle of the two person desk, to the side. It really didn’t matter to him, since he didn’t really know anyone in the class. ”Doesn’t matter to me.” Josh said. Matt smiled shyly, and sat down, then pulled out his note book and began doodling on it. ”Are you always this awkward?” Josh asked suddenly, tired of the awkward tension around the two of them. ”No… Well, yeah. I don’t really have any friends” Matt said. Josh nodded. ”I’ve noticed. You’re always alone at lunch and stuff” Josh said quietly, as he took down notes from the board. ”I like to write… Music mostly. My lyrics always sound super lame.” Matt said. Josh smiled and tapped his pen against the desk. ”You like to write Music? Like chords?” Josh asked, thinking about his lyric book in his backpack. ”yeah.. They sound pretty good, but when I try to write lyrics, they all suck.” Matt said. Josh smiled, and reached into his backpack, pulling out his lyric book. ”These are my lyrics.” Josh sand, handing it to Matt, who took it, and began flipping through. ”These are really good” Matt said, reading through the full songs, and lyric bits. ”Thanks. Hey, maybe we could hang out, and we could try to write up some chords to go with my lyrics?” Josh asked, smiling at him. Matt smiled back. ”Sounds cool. I’ll meet you outside?” Matt said. Josh nodded and smiled. ”Sounds good.” Josh said, putting his lyric book back in his bag.

-X- Josh broke out of his memory as Maggie got up, to close the door and lock it. He sighed and snuggled his face into her neck, holding her close every time the lightning would flash, or the thunder would clash. ”I know you hate them Mags. But don’t worry, I’m here.. I’ll always be here” Josh whispered, closing his eyes, just enjoying being near her. Then Josh smiled, and pulled away slightly. ”We actually have no show tonight. I was thinking, maybe we could all go get dinner, and then just hang out in the bus, or something. Tonight is our night off” Josh said, playing with a piece of her hair as he spoke. Then he looked into her eyes, and sighed. ”I guess I can understand… I mean… If I could just hide from everything.. Reporters, and all those stupid rumors, I would. I would never want to just throw you into this head on… You can tell, whenever you’re ready. If you are ever ready. I respect that, and Matt will, over time.” Josh said, going back to playing with her hair. He had always loved her hair. The white-blonde, compared to his almost black hair, made them look like opposites. Most who saw them together, thought that Maggie was the angel, and that Josh was the trouble maker, just because he always looked guilty, and laughed at everything, whereas Maggie had her pretty blonde hair, blue eyes and sweet smile that made people think of her as the good girl. Josh had always laughed when people said stuff like that, since it was exactly the opposite. It was usually always Maggie who was causing trouble, and Josh who was a few feet behind, whining about not liking whatever idea Maggie had, or wanting to go back to his house and play video games or something. Josh looked away from her hair, and back at her as he realized she was crying. ”Hey, Mag’s it’s okay. I’m here, nothing will hurt you when I’m here. A lot of people are afraid of storms. Everyone has their own fears… Sadly, I now have to deal with mine everyday… But that’s my own fault. Storms are loud, and dangerous, and cause disasters all over the world. You’re lucky I’m not afraid of them, because otherwise we’d both be trembling messes on the floor” Josh said, chuckling, although he knew Maggie’s fear wasn’t something he should be making jokes about.

-X- Josh sat up, a little disappointed about the distance, and lack of warmth from between them, but smiled as he realized she had recovered from her small breakdown. Josh gasped happily as he realized she was going to play for him ”Oh goodie! I’ll be completely honest. Promise.” Josh said, putting his hand over his heart. He loved it when Maggie sang, since he knew he was one of the only people she ever played for. He hadn’t heard her sing in such a long time, and was looking forward to hearing her beautiful singing voice.

”
I miss those blue eyes, how you kissed me at night
I miss the way we sleep, like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile, I miss the way we breathe
But I never told you, what I should have said
No, I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine, you make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
Its like I'm gone with me”

Josh smiled at her as she sang, allowing himself to get lost in her lyrics, and the sound of her voice. He closed his eyes as he sang, and just listened, tapping his toe slightly as the tune sped up, and a soft humming sound came from Maggie’s lips. He opened his eyes as she began singing again, smiling the whole time, paying more attention to her lyrics this time.

” But I never told you, what I should have said
No, I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, I cant believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...
But I never told you, what I should have said
No I never told you, I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you, cant believe that I still want you
After all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you
Without you...

-X- Josh smiled at Maggie as she finished, and reached out for her hand, holding it in his palm so he could play with her fingers. ”You’re so good Maggie. Your voice, and your lyrics. Maggie, you’re incredible. Why don’t you ever show anyone but me your songs?” Josh asked, almost considering asking her to do the duet with him for the tour, but not only would she not want the reporters to see her, but he also could never show Maggie that song. Even though he wanted to, more then anything. He wanted her to know how he felt, but just couldn’t find the right words. He just couldn’t seem to find the right words. He also couldn’t seem to find the strength, or courage to say anything about it to her. He sighed, and watched adoringly as she put her guitar away, quickly turning his attention to the pattern on the blankets when she turned around. He smiled as she pulled him to the side where the pillows were, and snuggled under the covers with her, smiling. It was just like when they were in high school, with Josh comforting Maggie when she was sad, or scared. He smiled as Maggie rested her head against his chest, and jumped a little when something cold rested against his arm. He pulled away, but only slightly, and smiled when he saw the locket he had given Maggie for her fifteenth birthday around her neck. He reached out and picked it up, turning it gently, while running his fingers lightly across the two names engraved on top. ”You still have this…” He murmured, then pulled her close to him again.

-X- Josh listened carefully as she spoke, and felt his heart beat pick up as she brought up not being completely honest with him. It not only made him feel better for keeping his secret from her, but it also gave him hope. Hope that maybe she felt the same. He closed his eyes, and pressed his lips against her hair, listening as she spoke. ”Mhmm” he murmured, then he continued to listen His eyes opened wide as she said she fainted on the way to meet the boys yesterday. But he didn’t speak until she was completely finished speaking. He stared at the wall, still resting his chin against her head as he waited for her to finish speaking. Once she did, he still couldn’t speak. ”Maggie…” He whispered, wishing he knew what was wrong with the female, whom he adored. He wanted her to be better. He didn’t want her to be living in fear of fainting, or never waking up if she did. Josh shivered at that thought, and immediately pushed it out of his head. Then he cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes. ”Maggie… You should have said something. Or called Matt. We would have come to get you… If we had known, we wouldn’t have…asked you to come along. “ Josh said, his voice quivering as he spoke, hoping she couldn’t tell how scared he really was at the thought of losing her. Then his eyes widened again, and his hand flew over his mouth. ”Oh s**t! I made it seem like I don’t want you here. Maggie, I want you here. I’m… sooo glad you’re here… I just… Don’t want things to get worse” Josh explained quickly, beginning to play with her fingers again, to distract him from doing something he could possible regret. Then Josh sighed, and pulled Maggie closer to him, so that she was pressed right up against him, and held her there, with his arms wrapped around her back. Josh closed his eyes, and just sat there, thinking about every feeling that was going through his mind. He felt like his nerve endings were on fire, like someone had opened a cage of birds inside of his stomach, and more in love with her then he had ever felt. She was the only girl that had ever been important to him, and she was always going to be ‘his Maggie’. He squeezed eyes closed tighter, and took a deep breath, then opened his eyes. Then he suddenly came back to reality, and realized that he had just been thinking about ways to get his best friends girlfriend. He gently pushed Maggie away, and then climbed out of the bed. He walked over to the wall, and covered his face with his hands, and rested his forehead against the wall, feeling guilty, sick, and most of all… jealous. Then he took another deep breath and walked back to the bed, and sat down on the edge. ”Just take it easy. If you ever feel dizzy, or sick, or like you’re in any kind of pain, tell us. We’ll make sure it doesn’t get worse” Josh said, then almost jumped out of his skin as he heard a loud knock on the door.

-X- Josh flew from his spot on the bed, and rammed into the door. ”Ow” he muttered, his hands shaking as he tried to unlock the door. Once he had finally managed to unlock it, he threw the door open, and was suddenly face to face with Matt, who had no emotion on his face. ”Your hair is messy, and you’re out of breath.” Matt noted, his tone emotionless. Josh stared at the floor. ”We were just talking… Maggie hates storms” Josh said quietly, deciding that it wouldn’t be a very good idea to tell Matt that nothing happened, although he would have loved to at least kiss Maggie. Matt nodded. ”With the door locked?” Matt said, still emotionless. Josh’s eyes must have shown that he was terrified, because Matt’s expression suddenly became furious. ”What happened?” Matt asked, not even looking at Maggie. ”Nothing, we were talking” Josh said quietly, wishing Matt would calm down. Maggie hated it when people jumped to conclusions, and got angry without hearing the person out. Although right then didn’t seem like a good time to tell Matt that he was possibly ruining his chances at going very far in a relationship with Maggie, if he continued to get jealous like that. ”Josh. What. Happened?” Matt asked through clenched teeth. ”Nothing!” Josh said, more confidently that time. Matt looked like he was about to punch Josh in the face, but luckily Ian came to his rescue and pushed Matt away from Josh a little. ”Matt. Calm the ******** down. They’re best friends, they’re allowed to talk in privacy” Ian said calmly, ignoring the confused ‘huh’s” coming from Mike behind him. Josh continued to stare wide eyed, glancing back to look at Maggie, before he turned back to Matt. ”he look’s like a deer caught in ******** headlights, Josh. What the ******** did you do?!” Matt asked, pushing Josh backwards. Josh quickly caught his balance, and shot Maggie a look that was supposed to say ‘he really likes you. He’s just worried. Don’t let this affect your relationship’, although he wasn’t sure if she’d get that or not. Ian then grabbed Matt, and pushed him back. ”MATT! Calm. Down! Nothing happened. Let it go!” Ian said, his face was serious, and furious at the same time. At first Matt looked like he wanted to punch out Josh, and Ian, but then calmed down, and he turned to stare at Josh, his eyes cold and hollow. ”Step out of line once, Ramsay? And I’ll punch you so hard you wont have a face anymore” Matt said, so quietly that only Josh and Ian could hear him, then he walked past Josh, bumping him with his shoulder, and sat on the edge of Maggie’s bed, looking at the floor. Josh let out a relieved breath, and then scampered away, not even looking at Maggie as he fled from the room.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Maggie smiled up to Josh before sighing quietly and shaking her head to Josh. "You always said that you'll always be there for me but you left before." She sighed once more and turned over so she was looking to the ceiling instead of at Josh. When Josh mentioned that they didn't have a concert that night her mood changed and she almost burst with joy and turned back over so she could hug Josh tightly. "You guys do need a break and getting dinner sounds great, I can get to know Mike and Ian also." She gave the boy a toothy grin before pulling herself away from him and closing her eyes gently while Josh played with a strand of her hair. For some reason she enjoyed the feel of Josh playing with her hair or whenever he was stroking it since it was calming and always made her feel better. She opened her eyes once more to meet Josh's and gave him a sad smile. "Reporters are like hound dogs. They sniff out the truth and hunt you down till they have every little detail then they go and twist it apart to make a person look horrible. At the moment everyone is interested in Marianas Trench and they all want to know the dirty secrets that lay behind closed doors. Reporters will do whatever it takes to get what they want and what they need. I can only imagine what would happen if they found out about me, what crazy sort of things they would do just to get a picture or an interview. What scares me the most right now is that if those reporters some how found out about me they would know about me and Matt being together then they would realize how close I am to you and think I was having an affair. So many bad things could happen...so many things that could tear me apart." The blonde paused for a moment to catch her breathe before she continued on. "Sooner or later I'll have to come out into the open and make myself known but I'd rather do that when I know that I can ignore and take whatever people say about me. Oh...what if Matt tells the reporters about us without me knowing?" Maggie stopped talking and groaned before burying her head back into the pillow as Josh played with her hair again. She lifted her head back up and smiled lightly as she thought back to the two of them when they would go on crazy adventures. Maggie was always the trouble maker who fooled anyone into believing that she was an angel while Josh was the poor innocent boy who everyone mistaken for a trouble maker. It was always weird to Maggie how whenever she came up with an idea that Josh didn't like, which was most of the time, he still followed behind her no matter what, even if it meant them getting into trouble. She thought back to how in 9th grade she was trying so hard to stay away from trouble and try to clean up her act for Josh yet trouble just seemed to be attracted to her. One minute she would be at her locker putting her things away and the next minute she was on the ground in a fight with someone. After 9th grade though Maggie changed herself for the benefit of her and Josh, she stopped all the fight, all the wrong doings and started being the angel everyone thought she was but that left her unprotected from the rumors and the hate comments till Josh changed and became more protective of her, standing up against anyone who said anything mean about her. Maggie pushed her thoughts away for a moment to look up at Josh and smile at him before reaching her hand up and brushing his hair out from his eyes, her hand resting just above his cheek for a moment before she placed it back down to her side. She wondered if Josh ever realized how bad it was for her when he was always with Matt. When that happened she spent most of her time alone and she took the crap from people, once even letting a few people beat her up till she couldn't move.

♪♫ It was that incident that drove her to return to her old ways, she had to in order to protect herself from the world, to protect herself from ever getting hurt. But she let one person break through and hurt her and he doesn't even realize how bad it all really was. Maggie returned her attention back to Josh and tilted her head in a cute questioning manner. "Wait, what could you possibly be scared of? She glared lightly at Josh for making fun of her fear but she just rolled her eyes and smiled back at him. Once the whole singing thing was finished she was blushing slightly before laughing at Josh. "You're like a little kid at Christmas whenever I get ready to sing." Maggie's blush was increasing as Josh took her hand and she fell back with her head buried in one of the pillows. "I hate what you do to me." She muttered though Josh wouldn't have been able to understand it since her voice was muffled from the pillow. After a while she sat up again and wiggled the fingers Josh was playing with. She thought about what Josh had said before she sighed and answered him. "I guess I only show you my lyrics because I know I can trust you to give me an honest opinion and also all my lyrics are....extremely personal. All of them being about something that's happen in my life whether its good or bad. I guess I get scared of what people might think when they hear the words or even the way my voice sounds. It helps that you love my lyrics and my voice since that's like a total confidence riser but you've lived through most of my experience, hell you've joined me in most of my experiences and so you understand them more then everyone else...well most of them anyway." She smiled to Josh and stuck her tongue out at him like a five year old. "There are somethings that you've never noticed before even though they're like right in your face and some of my songs are about those things." She poked his nose before burying herself under the covers. With her head resting on Josh's chest she closed her eyes and let the sound and movement of Josh breathing calm her. She had her fingers trailing lightly along his side when he pulled away and she looked up at him before looking down to the locket with a smile. She watched his face carefully and smiled when he pulled her closer to him again, she loved being able to be this close to Josh without any trouble. "Did you think I would lose it? I wear it almost everyday otherwise I have it somewhere around me." She paused for a moment before smiling up to Josh and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "It reminds me that no matter how far apart we may be you'll always be with me." She laughed to herself while playing with Josh's hair again. The necklace was something she cherished and she'd keep it forever no matter what happened. It also held the secret that she holds within her. When Josh left she had Nathan take her to a jeweler and had the person engrave the words, "Forever in my heart, I love you Josh.", on the inside.

♪♫ Maggie was getting concerned after a while when Josh didn't speak after she told him about her getting sick but she stayed quiet and just let Josh think while she clutched herself to him in an effort to get some sort of reaction. She closed her eyes and rested her head while Josh talked waiting till he finished talking completely. "I know I probably should have told you or called one of you guys but I just couldn't, I don't want everyone watching me 24/7 like I'm about to fall over and die. I don't like people hovering over me and always asking if I'm okay. I know you want me here, duh! And I know you don't want me to get worst but maybe now that I have you back at my side things will get better, maybe I'll never faint again. I've lived with this for months now and I've grown used to it now. It's nothing I want you to overly worry about though, if it happens again just make sure I'm laying down and that no one is freaking out. I don't want to wake up and find everyone all of a sudden staring at me with wide-eyes." Maggie giggled quietly to herself before she let Josh hold her closer, this time closer then she had even been with Josh. She smiled as she realized that they fit together, almost like puzzle pieces. The sweet sent filled her nose again and she laughed at this. "You know you always smell like a sweet apple smell." Maggie smiled again before that was wiped clean off her face and she was pushed away from Josh. She sat up, her eyes following him with concern before she just looked down at the blanket around her. Had she done or said something wrong? Was it right for her to tell him about her getting sick? Was something else bothering him? So many questions were building up in her mind that she couldn't control it and another migraine began which was a bad thing since it led to the fainting but she wasn't going to let that happen, not this time. She rubbed her temple with her fingers as she watched Josh come back over to the bed. His words barely managed to make their way through her ears as she just watched him with tear-filled eyes. Sniffling she nodded her head lightly before speaking. "I'll tell you if I don't feel well, actually...nevermind." She coughed lightly from her throat burning since her tears were backing up so they didn't fall. When the knock came at the door Maggie didn't even register it in her head till she heard Josh ram into the door. Looking up she saw Josh open the door and it was then that she knew something was going to happen and she would break down.

♪♫ Maggie watched everything play out in silence, wanting to speak out but she didn't even think they would realize she had spoken.Tears were falling silently from her eyes as she shook her head and covered her face with her hands. She couldn't stand what Matt was doing, jumping to conclusions and assuming things that weren't true without even hearing Josh out. They were best friends and as soon as she gets here their friendship is nearly ruined. It was all becoming her fault, if she hadn't of gone to that concert she would have never seen the guys and they would have continued on with their happy lives, if she had never accepted to meet up with them she wouldn't have been asked out by Matt and she would have never said yes. So many things could have been different if she had just stayed out of the picture but she couldn't, she had to be with Josh or she had no point in living. A meow came from the side and Maggie pulled Shadow over to her, burying her head into the kitten's fur as she just listened to the voices, the tears falling quicker down her face. Finally it seemed like everything had stopped and she sniffled quietly before looking up to see Josh running off and Matt coming to sit down beside her. She kept looking through the doorway as if Josh would coming rooming back in but that wouldn't happen and she knew it. Now she turned to look at Matt who looked hurt, furious, and just sad so she crawled over to him and placed herself on his lap, pulling him closer to her. She stayed like that for a while before she kissed him lightly and she shook her head. "You shouldn't have freaked out on Josh like that. Nothing happened Matt and you should know that. Do you really believe Josh would do something like that to his best friend? Are you seriously going to let a girl, me, come between you and Josh after everything that you two have been through together?" She paused to look at Matt again for a moment before she continued on. "All that happened was Josh and me were talking. I hate storms, I'm like deathly afraid of them and since you were asleep he came over to get my mind off of the stupid storm. We talked about the past, we talked about me, we talked about him, I sang him one of the songs I wrote, and that is all. You don't need to over-react." She kissed him again, this time longer and deeper before she pulled away and rested her forehead against his. "I will never be anything less then loyal to you. I'm your and only yours." She smiled before standing up and taking his hand in hers, pulling him along and over to the mini kitchen where she took hold of his shoulder's and sat Matt down. "Now please just eat something and then go talk to Josh, listen to him and don't over-react again, don't let this ruin your friendship. If you need me you can come and get me." She whispered into his ear carefully before leaning over and pecking him on the lips then she walked off to the bedroom where she shut the door and leaned against it. Her breathing was heavy, her heart was racing, her head was pounding, her vision going crazy. Yep, she had acted as if nothing was wrong while she was talking to Matt but now she had nothing to hide since she was alone. She was trying hard to push everything away but for a moment she stopped and crawled across the floor till she hit the emotional wall and everything around her was gone. She was just laying there on the floor completely out cold.

♪♫ Shadow on the other hand had been resting on the pillow that his owner had once been on before he heard the door open and close again. Meowing softly with his eyes closed he waited to hear Maggie's voice but got nothing so he opened his eyes and looked around before jumping off the bed. His feet hit the ground softly and he bounced over to Maggie where he sat and watched her closely till she collapsed and he ran to her side, poking her arm with her pink nose but receiving no answer. He pawed at her a bit, he meowed at her, he even walked over her but he still didn't get a response. Meowing loudly he walked over to the door and hopped onto his hind legs and scratched at the door before meowing once more and backing away. No one came to the door after a while so Shadow walked back a bit and jumped to the door knob, sliding on it a bit so the door opened up and hit the wall quietly before moving back towards the doorway as if the door was going to close again. Shadow darted out and watched the door click shut before he ran off. First he went to Ian, poking the boy with his nose before biting him gently then he ran to Mike and meowed over and over again loudly till he went off to find Matt and Josh which he simply sat in front of them with his head tilted down towards the stairs. This kitten wasn't an ordinary kitten...

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- Matt smiled and kissed Maggie back, happy that even though he’d freaked out at Josh, Maggie still chose him over Josh, instead of running after him. He sighed happily and followed Maggie to the kitchen, and sat down, pretending not to notice the cold stare Mike was giving him, and the total lack of recognition from Ian, who continued talking to Mike about some he was planning for Josh. Josh. His supposed best friend. Although Matt hadn’t really listened to Josh, who was claiming that nothing had happened, Matt had a hard time believing that. He had been out of breath, with messy hair. Maggie’s hair was also a little bit messy, and she was under the covers on Josh’s bed. Josh’s hands had been shaking when he opened the door, and he looked absolutely terrified. You have to admit, it was a little bit suspicious. Matt sighed happily again, smiling at his new girlfriend as she walked away. Then he got up and pulled a pack of pop tarts from a box in the cupboard, and began munching on them, looking at the table top as he chewed. He heard Ian sigh, and looked up, rolling his eyes as both Mike and Ian looked away, trying not to look directly into Matt’s eyes. ”Come on guys. He was asking for it” Matt mumbled, wiping pop tart crumbs away from his mouth. Ian sighed again, and finally looked Matt in the eyes. ”Asking for what? A little alone time with his best friend?” Ian said defensively, making sure to watch what he said, in case he said something that let out Josh’s secret. Matt narrowed his eyes. ”So? They were best friends. Then they didn’t talk for like… ever. Now suddenly she’s back, and everyone thinks he can just break the rules of friendship, because they were best friends. Everyone knows… When someone is dating someone else, no matter how close the person in the couple, and the friend are… They keep distance. Locking himself in her room with her is pushing it a bit” Matt said, before taking another bite of his food. Mike let out a sigh, and stood up. ”This is bullshit. I can’t even sit here and listen to you. You threatened your best friend, and for what? A girl? Now that… that is pushing it” Mike said, then walked away, going up the stairs.

-X- Ian flinched at the sound of Mike’s door slamming, and looked at Matt. ”Mike is right. You don’t threaten someone, because you’re suspicious. They have always been close, understand that Matt. Why do you even like Maggie so much?” Ian asked. Matt looked away from Ian, as his eyes bored into him as he asked the last question, and didn’t look up until he finished speaking. ”I don’t know… She’s uh… She’s nice” Matt said. Ian crossed his arms. ”You don’t even like her, do you?” Ian accused, leaning back against his seat, his face emotionless, yet somehow angry at the same time. ”What! No, I do.” Matt said, shifting uncomfortably. ”Why?” Ian asked again, his tone hard, and heavy, hitting Matt as if he had been slapped in the face. ”I just do, okay?! I… I have to go get cleaned up… Before I talk to Josh” Matt said, throwing out half a pop tart, and walking away from the table, leaving Ian sitting angrily by himself. ”b*****d doesn’t even like her…” Ian muttered to himself, wondering if he should tell Josh, as he watched Matt retreat with his tail between his legs (Metaphorically). Matt walked into the bathroom, and closed the door, locking it behind him. He sighed and rubbed his face. Why did he like Maggie? If he was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t. Sure, he thought that she was hot, and he also wanted to prove to Josh that he could get her, even if Josh had never said he couldn’t. He mainly liked the idea of her. The problem was, is that Maggie seemed to come with a lot of strings attached. She had quite a few dislikes, and she seemed to have a lot of problems. Something Matt didn’t like, which he definitely planned on talking to her about, was the press. Was she ashamed of dating him or something? He didn’t understand how telling the world that she was with Matt was such a bad thing. Sure, they got a bit annoying, and personal sometimes, but it would also help get the gay rumors off Matt’s back. Matt sighed, and splashed cold water on his face, then dried off with a towel, and reached into Josh’s toiletries bag, hoping Josh wouldn’t mind if he stole a sprits of his cologne, just because he knew Maggie liked the smell of it. He stared into the mirror, fixing his hair with one hand, and reaching into the bag blindly with the other, only stopping the motions with the hand in his hair when his finger tips brushed against something hard, and paper-like near the bottom of the bag. He looked around quickly, laughing at himself as he realized that there was no way anyone could see him, and pulled the paper out, gasping as Maggie’s face stared back at him. A new wave of anger rolled over Matt as he stared at the worn picture, assuming Josh had looked at it quite often, judging by the finger prints, water marks, and just the over-all roughness of it. Then an evil smirk formed on Matt’s usually attractive face, as he pinched the top of the photo with both his hands, and tore it down the middle. Then he tore it a few more times, until it was nothing but little pieces of confetti. ”You wont be needing that anymore, Joshy-kins” Matt sneered, as he tossed the pieces in the garbage can beside the counter.

-X- Josh slumped, wrapped up in his blankets on the soft couch in the upstairs of the bus, staring off into space as the scene from earlier continued to replay over and over again in his head. The sudden need to kiss Maggie. How much it hurt for him to break away from the hold. How scared he had been when Matt was on the other side of the door. When he was with Maggie, it seemed like nothing else was going on, which was a problem. Since there most definitely was in fact other things going on… Like his best friend dating well… His best friend. Josh put his face in his hands, a sob breaking out of his chest, although there were never tears. Just a blunt sob, escaping his throat every few minutes. He hated to think, that there might come a day when he’d have to choose one over the other. Both Mike, and Maggie were right about it, which was the problem. He couldn’t side with Maggie, otherwise the band would go down, causing all of Josh’s dreams to crumble away like the ruins, and all of his heartache to be for no reason. But Maggie was also right, in that he had left her once, and that one time was more then enough separation. He couldn’t leave the female, whom he loved again. Never again, even if he couldn’t be with her, he still wanted to be around her. He sighed, and lifted his head, staring out the window as rain pounded against it. A wave of sadness washed over Josh, as he realized his position of the storm-distracter was now expired and Matt had probably taken over. Josh looked up as he heard footsteps, and felt nauseous with anger and jealousy when he saw Matt walking towards him. ”Can we talk?” Matt asked, his voice sounding both satisfied, and soft as he looked over his friend, who was cowering under a blanket, as if he was afraid Matt would punch him for real, if he said the wrong thing.

-X- ”If we must…” Josh muttered, his voice muffled by the blanket that was covering him, up to his nose. Matt sighed. ”I over reacted. You know how long I’ve wanted her” Matt said, not looking Josh in the eyes as he spoke. not as long as I have Josh thought to himself, nodding, so that Matt would continue. ”I just got jealous really fast. It looked suspicious.” Matt said, finally looking up at Josh, who was now focusing very, very hard on the pattern on the blanket. Matt sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, waiting for Josh to speak before he continued. ”You find everything suspicious. And what were you jealous of? That we didn’t run upstairs to get you, and welcome you into the conversation with open arms?” Josh asked, his voice clearer, now that he’d pulled the blanket away from his face a little. Matt looked taken aback, but quickly recovered and shrugged. ”She’s my girlfriend now. I think I deserve to at least know when you guys are having private time, so that I don’t find you together, locked in her room.” Matt said, coolly. Josh narrowed his eyes, and felt his nerves twitch, with the sudden need to beat Matt until he was out cold. ”And what if it’s none of your own business? Since when did I have to ask permission to talk to my best friend?” Josh sneered back, his lips pulling away from his teeth, showing Matt how angry he truly was. ”I thought I was your best friend!” Matt said, obviously not being able to come up with anything better to say in reply to what Josh had said. ”You were, until you started acting like a selfish d**k!” Josh said as he stood up, towering over Matt, who was still seated. Matt narrowed his eyes and stood up as well. ”How am I being a selfish d**k?!” Matt shot back at him, his eyes growing wide as he spoke, anger flaring up within his soft brown irises. ”Okay, well.. First. You wont let me talking to my ******** best friend without threatening me! And second, you refused to help Maggie get to the bus without being seen. You know she doesn’t want the press getting into her life. You know that!” Josh spat back at Matt, narrowing his eyes once more to match Josh’s narrowed eyes. ”Why can’t the press know? What’s it gonna hurt? We deal with their s**t every single ******** day, why can’t she? Is she ashamed of me?!” Matt asked, mostly wanting the press to know, so that he could be seen with a pretty blonde, whereas Josh was still single, and was now getting closer to Ian. Josh’s eyes widened and his face softened, believing that Matt actually cared if she was ashamed of him or not. ”Of course she’s not… Matt you know--“ Josh said, only to be cut off by the soft meow of Shadow, who was staring at the boys.

-X- Josh stared at the kitten for a few minutes, trying to understand what the little creature was trying to tell him. Matt stared at Josh, oblivious to the kitten, as he waited for Josh to finish his sentence, knowing he almost had Josh to the point where he would crack, and do almost anything Matt asked.. Like staying away from Maggie. Josh continued to stare into the eyes of the kitten, amazed as it stared back, as if it were trying to tell Josh something. Something important. The kitten cocked it’s little head at Josh, causing Josh to imitate the motion as he waited for the secret message in the cats eyes to become clear, so he could do whatever was needed of him. He looked back at Matt briefly, who was staring at him in confusion, then back at the kitten, who meowed again, and thumped his paws against the floor impatiently, as if telling Josh to hurry up and figure it out. Whats wrong? Please just tell me… I don’t know what you’re trying to say! Josh thought, hoping the kitten would be able to read his mind, although it seemed very, very unlikely. He sighed, and felt his heart beat pick up, as the cat continued to stare at him, the intensity in his eyes showing Josh that it was important. Also, as if he knew that Josh was the only one who would be able to understand what was wrong, although Josh didn’t get it one bit. Josh’s eyes grew big, as it suddenly hit him. Something had happened. Something had happened, and the little kitten was trying to get Josh to help. ”Maggie…” Josh whispered, then scooped up the little animal, putting it in the pocket of his jeans, before running down the stairs, leaving Matt behind yelling ‘what?’ in Josh’s general direction. Josh ran down the stairs, tripping in his hast, and once again, slammed into Maggie’s door, his hands shaking as he fiddled with the door knob. He stopped his attempts at opening the door, as a strange smell reached his nose, but he quickly ignored it, as the kitten’s claws sank into Josh’s leg through his pocket, telling him to ignore it, and help Maggie. He continued to push on the door, positive that he had a good grip on it, even though it wouldn’t open, no matter how hard her turned, or pushed. Then he took a deep breath, and stepped back, squaring his shoulders as he ran towards the door, and slammed against it, causing the lock to break, and the door to fall off it’s top hinges.

-X- Josh stared at the door in amazement at the door, which was now hanging on only its bottom hinges. Josh flinched as the kitten once again jabbed Josh’s leg with its claws, reminding Josh what he was supposed to do, and the reason why his shoulder was now throbbing in pain. Josh gasped as an out cold Maggie appeared in his line of vision, and then saw nothing, but a blur of grey, and other colours around him, as his eyes filled with tears. ”Maggie…” he whispered, leaning down beside her to check her pulse. It was still strong, thank goodness. He put her hand down gently, sighing as a soft, pain filled meow escaped from his pocket. ”I second that…” Josh whispered to the little kitten, whose head was poking out of Josh’s pocket. Josh leaned over her, and opened her mouth slightly, smiling in relief as he felt her breath against the side of his face. Then he stood up, and walked to her bag, which was laying, partially open on top of the dresser. He began looking through it, searching for something that would tell him what to do to fix it, or what could possibly could have caused it, gasping as his fingers touched a medication bottle. He pulled it out, and read the label, his hands beginning to shake as he read it. ”Anti-depressants? Maggie.. Why wouldn’t you tell me?” He whispered, his eyes filling with tears again as he looked at Maggie’s motionless body. Then he was filled with anger, as he continued to look at the pills, billions of thoughts filling his head as he continued to stare at the bottle, reading her name, and the name of the pills over, and over again. Holts, Maggie. Anti-depressants. Holts, Maggie. Anti-depressants. Then it was just as if his mind erupted, so did his body. He was suddenly shaking all over, tears spilling from his eyes as he continued to stare at the bottle. Where was Matt? Why wasn’t her there, helping his girlfriend? Where was Mike, and Ian? Why weren’t they sitting there, talking Josh through what to do. Then, just like his body erupted, so did his mouth, as he tore the lid off the pills, and poured them into his hand. Then he threw them across the room, more tears spilling from his eyes as he watched a few of them shatter from the force, and the rest of them bounce off, landing in different places around the room. ”She doesn’t need anti-depressants. She doesn’t need ANY drugs. She’s perfect. Maggie, you’re so, so perfect..” Josh screamed, going quieter and quieter, until the word ‘perfect’ was barely audible. Then Josh crumpled to the floor beside her, and held her hand in his, tears, and sobs coming from him, like the rain and thunder was outside. After a few minutes, Josh calmed down, leaving just broken sobs coming from his chest quietly. Josh looked around in confusion, now trying to figure out where the smell was coming from, until finally he noticed it. His eyes widened as he took in the cause of the smell. He clutched Maggie’s hand harder, not wanting to let her go, as he watched it spread. Then he stood up, and closed his eyes, allowing air to fill his lungs, not even believing the words as they rang out of his mouth, although they did, and they were true. ”THE BUS IS ON FIRE!”


-X- Josh felt his heart beating fast as he looked around, trying to figure out what to do next. He stared up at Ian, who stood in the doorway, his own eyes wide as he noticed the flame building in the corner of Maggie’s room. ”STOP THE BUS! STOP THE BUS! Josh, it's coming from the bathroom!” Ian cried, running around, trying to get the driver to stop. Josh fell forward, as the bus stopped so suddenly that it made a few things fell out from wherever they had been. Then he picked up Maggie, and checked to make sure her kitten was still in his pocket, then ran through the bus, meeting the confused looks of Matt and Mike, who had not seen the flames yet. Josh stumbled down the steps of the bus, holding Maggie carefully. He coughed as he stepped out of the bus, into the middle of the deserted highway. He placed Maggie down carefully, then ran back in, staring at Matt with wide eyes, as he sat at the table sipping a diet coke. ”WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Josh shouted at Matt, who only rolled his eyes at Josh. ”You’re so delusional” Matt murmured between sips of cola. Josh’s eyes widened, and he threw his arms out beside him. ”MATT! GET. OFF. THE. ********. BUS!” Josh shouted, then grabbed Matt by the arm, and pushed him so hard, that he only managed to get his footing on the last step of the stairs leading to the pavement, staring at Josh in disbelief. Then Josh ran up the stairs, coughing through the smoke, which was now rising through the vents to the upper levels of the bus. Josh stumbled through it, his eyes watering as the smoke got thicker, and he banged on Mike’s door. ”Mike. Fire. You have to get out!” Josh shouted between coughs, opening the door when Mike didn’t answer. Josh gasped as he saw Mike laying on the floor, his room filled from ceiling to floor with smoke. Josh coughed more, his lungs filling with the black, inky smoke as he lifted Mike’s motionless body, and carried him down the stairs. He put Mike down on the pavement, and coughed more, watching as Matt and Ian pulled equipment from the bus’s storage compartments, Matt looking bored, and Ian looked frantic. Josh then looked at Mike and Maggie’s motionless bodies on the ground, on continued coughing, trying to clear his throat of the smoke, which was making it difficult to breathe. ”Maggie!” Josh gasped, before running back into the bus. ”Josh! Maggie is right here!” Matt said, finally seeing the smoke. Josh ignored Matt, and ran through the bus, entering the bathroom, gasping as he saw that it was filled with large, orange and blue flames, which appeared to be coming from the trash can. Josh gasped and grabbed his toiletries bag, covering his mouth as more coughs sputtered from his mouth, his eyes still watering. He stumbled through the bus, his vision blurring, and his head feeling light, as he stumbled blindly down the stairs, dropping his bag, only taking small notice to Matt’s guilty expression as he looked at the bag, then Josh, before Josh hit the pavement, everything going black.

[--x sweet whispers]

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мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

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⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

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♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ The siren was going off and the cop car was driving slowly as it turned the corner down one of the many streets in the town. The police officer had his eyes on the road while looking up at the girl in the back who just sat there, looking out the window with a distant look in her eyes. The police man, or Mr. Dan, let out a sigh before speaking to the girl. "Maggie you can't keep this up, you'll land yourself into more trouble then you have been the past few times. You're lucky that I was the one who found you instead of someone else." Maggie huffed loudly before resting her forehead on the glass of the window, looking out to the night sky where the stars were shining brightly and the moon was hidden behind fog that was high up. Her eyes scanned around everything till she noticed that the car stopped in front of a shop. "Be good and stay here, I need to grab something before I take you home." The blond girl nodded her head with an innocent smile before waving bye to the man and watching him walking into the store. Once the door was closed Maggie took action and hopped into the front seat, popping open the under-board and started pulling out the wires till she found the one she wanted and ripped it apart, the automatic locking system failing and the doors unlocking themselves. Maggie smiled before opening the drivers side door and crouching low as she shut the door quietly. Her eyes darted around her till she found the alleyway that she wanted to take. Her movements were quick and quiet as she darted across the street, running as soon as she hit the shadows. Her feet bounded quietly on the pavement as her hair flew behind her and she kept herself hidden in the shadows. After a while sirens could be heard from far away though it sounded as if it was from one cop car so she didn't worry. She flew around a corner and continued on running till finally she reached her street and went straight for her home. The sirens were gone, Mr. Dan probably giving up, and she managed to get into the house but she wasn't away from the danger yet. Nathan had been standing at the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "Seriously? Why Maggie?" Maggie looked at Nate as if she didn't know what he was talking about before she walked up the stairs and to her room, Nate following close behind. Maggie finally let out a sigh before turning around and closing the door to her room. "No one cares anymore Nathan, admit that to yourself. Josh was all I had and all I'll ever have but now he's gone." The girl just shook her head before looking around her room for something to wear to bed while Nathan just stared at the floor, waiting for Maggie to speak once more since she hadn't exactly answered what he wanted to know. "I'm doing it so that I know I'm alive, I'm doing it to see if anyone cares enough to notice, I'm doing it to see if some how Josh will find out and come back to me." Nathan looked at his sister before standing up and walking to her door, he stopped when he was just about to leave then he looked over his shoulder to Maggie. "You're killing yourself in order to get Josh back...you must really love him." After that he was gone and Maggie just stood there looking to a photograph on the wall of her and Josh, one taken a few months before he met Matt. "I love him enough to hurt myself, I love him enough to drive myself to the end, I love him enough to do what I shouldn't do." The girl sighed and dropped the clothes she had in her hands before running both hands into her hair and falling to the ground crying. She just sat there crying for a while till she stood up and sniffled, brushing stray tears away then walking over to her window. An hour later she was hanging with the wrong people, getting herself high just to be able to know that she was alive. This is what happens when you lose the one you love, the one who held you up, the one who kept you alive.

♪♫ The whole memory was just blurring past but it was almost like Maggie was there again, like she was living through it again. Something wasn't right, she should be on the bus, she should be helping Josh and Matt, and she should be doing anything else besides remembering that one memory but something was really wrong since she couldn't pull herself out of it. She was out but at the same time she wasn't, she could hear things like the bus moving down the road and she could hear other things but she couldn't see or feel anything. Just as Maggie was going to push through the barrier of darkness something else pulled her back, another memory that Maggie wanted to push behind her.
A Maggie from a few months ago was standing in front of a store, the place she worked at in Calgary when someone came up to her and slipped something into her pocket before walking away. Maggie didn't react, she just went off in another direction before pulling out what had been deposited. After a while she was completely high and decided against going back to work or home so she tumbled her way to her car and hopped in, turning the car on before she drove off to where her mind was wanting her to go. Vancouver came into her view after a while but she kept driving along, making her way back to where everything happened. Maggie parked her car a few blocks away from Josh's old house, the place where his parents still resided and she simply walked up to the house, sitting on the swing on the front porch. She didn't care if anyone got mad at her, she wasn't worried about getting in trouble but for some reason she jumped off and went running towards the place she originally wanted to go, the tree that was always theirs but was now abandoned. The blond climbed up the tree and sat down on the branch, looking out to her old home as tears streamed down her face. She spent her whole day there, getting herself high on whatever she could till she fell asleep in the tree. Nothing was going to help her, nothing was going to make things better, nothing would fix her broken heart. Days later Maggie gave up and just kept to herself, she never left her room, she never talked to anyone, she wouldn't do anything till Cam and Jeremy finally came and talked her into getting out. But things wouldn't change that easily, especially since Calgary is full of Marianas Trench fans. Wherever Maggie went she'd see something about them and it drove her insane but she pushed through and ignored it till one day she couldn't take it anymore. The next day the police got a call about someone vandalizing the record store, although Marianas Trench things were the only items damaged. No one ever found out who did it but Maggie knew, she had watched it all happen. She had watched herself wreck it all. Nathan didn't allow it to go that much further so he put Maggie through hell till she was slightly back to normal and was out of her bad actions, leaving those behind her.

♪♫ The darkness was back again but this time it was softer and she could notice much more then normal. Her hearing was enhanced, her sense of feeling was also as she heard something hit the door. This confused her, how could anyone know she had fainted if she hadn't told anyone? She felt something, someone, touch her arm before placing it down gently as her mind went crazy to reach out. She knew it was Josh just by the way her touched her, being so gentle, and now she wanted to wake up and be with Josh but for some reason she couldn't break through. Maggie then stopped trying, hearing the words that she never wanted to hear anytime soon. Somehow he had found the bottle of anti-depressants and now all she could do was lay there, motionless, as Josh freaked out. If she could she'd probably be hugging Josh, saying how she didn't want to worry him but no, all she could do was lay on the ground listening to the words that flowed out of Josh's mouth. After a while she heard Josh's voice again this time she felt sad and guilty. Josh thought she was perfect but she was so far from it. Her bad habits, her personality, her body, everything about her was so imperfect yet here she was laying on the ground out cold while listening to Josh say how perfect she was. It was driving her crazy to think that in Josh's eyes she was actually perfect but maybe she was. Maybe because she was so imperfect so could actually be perfect in Josh's eyes. Maybe she was just the one who kept looking down on herself and thinking she was nothing, nothing worth keeping but Josh thinks differently apparently. She could suddenly feel the presence of Josh beside her then she felt his hand, first gripping her's softly before it tightened and she soon couldn't feel Josh there anymore. Her mind was questioning what was happening till she heard the reason spill out of Josh's mouth. Now more then ever she hated what was happened. Why could she feel and hear things but not be able to move? Why did she have to faint right then and there, why couldn't it have been later?

♪♫ Maggie could suddenly feel her body move a bit, the sound of the bus moving coming to a stop before she felt her body lift away from the ground and she was in the arms of Josh. She could feel how her body rested against his as he moved around, rushing to get off the bus and soon she could feel something hard and rocky underneath her before she felt suddenly alone like she was the only one who was there. That was when the darkness started to part down a little, thinning more and more as time went on. Voices became more clear and she could hear everyone outside again till suddenly she heard the sound of Matt calling out for Josh. After minutes of silence she grew worried till she heard something hit the ground and her heart seemed to slow down a bit before hurting. Something wasn't right, something had gone wrong, something happened to Josh and she needed to figure out what it was. Her inner self took a deep breathe before she focused hard and soon she saw nothing but light, a blinding light that was put right into her eyes. After a while she could see, the blue sky coming into focus and she could see the smoke filling the air. Her back arched and she coughed, rolling over to keep her body in control as she kept coughing little by little till she felt herself cleared of any smoke that managed to get into her body. Slowly she raised herself up, her arms shaking and her whole body looking disastrous but she didn't care about that, she only cared about one thing at that moment. Carefully she turned herself over and stood up, looking to where Mike, Ian, and Matt where all surrounding someone, the person being Josh. Through everyone she could see his face which was dirty from the smoke and Maggie noticed something then. Even though it seemed like Josh had forgotten about her she could feel inside of her that Josh had never forgotten, that he had remembered the whole time. Choking on sobs she slowly pulled out her cell phone and dialed 9-1-1 but she just held the phone to her ear for a few minutes till she closed it, knowing they would have the location and Josh would soon be taken to the hospital. Her steps were slow but she managed to make her way over to where Josh's body was and she just sat down beside him, not looking at anyone but Josh. Her hand found it's way into his, holding his hand softly as she closed her eyes and just breathed, not wanting to even look at anyone anymore.

♪♫ The sound of sirens started to fill the air, images from Maggie's past building up but she just shook them away and focused on how far away the sound was. Her hand gripped onto Josh's tightly as she looked down at him, she wanted so badly to lean over and kiss his lips but she stayed where she was, her eyes flickering to Matt for a second before she just shook her head and secretly pressed her lips to Josh's hand. Soon the cop cars, ambulance, and fire truck was there as so many people started to come around, some putting the fire out, others talking to people, and others coming towards Josh. Maggie moved back a bit but she refused to let go of Josh till Ian had to pull her back and keep her in a tight hold. After struggling against Ian for a while she just stayed still, her eyes focusing in on Josh's face before she turned around and buried her face into Ian, not wanting to look at anything anymore till a cop came over and started talking to them, asking if they wanted a ride to the hospital. Maggie was the first one into the car, her eyes looking out the window as the ambulance started to drive away quickly. Once everyone was ready they went off and Maggie just prayed to herself that Josh would be okay. Why did Josh have to be the one who passed out? Her eyes immediately flickered to Mike who was rubbing his head, looking back to normal since he woke before Maggie. The blond could suddenly feel all three boys looking at her so she turned her head away and looked on out the window, her hand gripping the door handle till her knuckles were white. Everything was falling apart since Josh left, her life had been falling apart piece by piece and then when she finally gets to be with Josh again she nearly wrecks Josh and Matt's friendship, almost ruins the band, and now Josh was being driven to the hospital. Maybe...maybe her and Josh weren't supposed to be together...maybe she wasn't supposed to even be there.

♪♫ X - Few Hours Later - X
Maggie was now sitting in a Starbucks, a drink in her hand as she looked out the window to nothing really. She was clean now, having taken a shower in the hospital so the doctor could take a look at her then she went out by herself to go shopping for clothes since all of hers were burned in the fire. Josh had been placed in a critical care unit for a while before they finally moved him to a regular room and he was now being watched over by Matt, Mike, and Ian. For now Maggie refused to go into the room to see Josh only because the others were there and she didn't want them to be there, she'd rather be alone with Josh. Sighing Maggie placed her head on the table and finished her drink before she stood up and walked over to the trash can, dumping the empty bottle before going to buy herself another. A few minutes later Maggie was walking towards the hospital with a new drink in her hands as she continued on. The hospital came into view and she walked into the doors, instantly going to the room where Josh was before she carefully opened the door to find that Josh was the only one inside. Sighing with relief she walked into the room and placed her drink down before going to the edge of Josh's hospital bed and sitting down on it, brushing Josh's hair out from his face. For a while she just sat there looking down at him before suddenly she leaned down and pressed her lips to his softly then she back away and sighed. "You probably can't even hear me but...I can't lose you Josh. You mean the world to me and I've loved you for so long I wouldn't be able to take the idea of not having you in my life. You left once and I refuse to let you leave me again." Her vision was becoming blurry as she felt tears come up but she instantly wiped them away and pulled herself up so she was laying next to Josh in the bed. She wanted nothing more then for Josh to wake up and speak those three words but she knew that would never happen.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- ”Maggie I hate you” Josh huffed, as he ran beside Maggie, who had a goofy smile on her face, even in those circumstances. ”It was a pack of gum!” Maggie shouted back, panting as well. ”To them it was like a million dollars. How did you ever think stealing it would be a good idea?” Josh said, groaning as he heard the sirens get louder. Maggie rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, pulling him along faster. ”I never said it was a good idea. I just said it was an idea. I wanted gum, I had no change.” Maggie said, giggling as Josh scoffed at her, and continued pulling him, happy that her house was now in view, so that they could camp out in her backyard. ”I just don’t see why I have to get arrested with you…” Josh mumbled, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. Maggie laughed again, and gave him a wide smile as they stepped into the small tent. ”You’re my partner in crime. Plus, you could have just given me the two dollars to buy the gum, if you didn’t like my idea.” Maggie said, collapsing on her sleeping bag. Josh sighed and collapsed beside her, blushing as he almost fell into her lap, even though the slight blush wasn’t noticeable since his face had turned pink from running. ”It was gum Maggie. There are some things you can live without. Gum is one of them. Plus, wouldn’t it be easier just to rob a bank or something? Then you could buy anything you want.” Josh pointed out, reaching into the bag of chips Maggie had just opened. Maggie then smiled at him, and winked. ”Good point. That can be our adventure for tomorrow” Maggie mumbled between bites. Josh groaned and fell back against his own sleeping bag, rolling his eyes as his head hit one of the pillows Maggie had brought down from her room. ”Adventures, adventures, adventures. Can’t we ever just like… Rent a movie?” Josh asked, taking a deep breath before he sat back up. Maggie looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. ”Yeah, sure. We can do that tomorrow. We can get a movie about bank robbers, and take notes as we watch. Theeeeen we’ll rob the bank, and buy whatever we want.” Maggie said, smiling at Josh before she broke into a giggle fit. Josh rolled his eyes and smiled, trying to hide his laughter. ”You’re so weird Mags” Josh said, his voice shaking with laughter.

-X- Josh coughed, although he didn’t really look like himself. In fact, he couldn’t be looking at himself, because it was impossible to see yourself without a mirror. The Josh he was looking at was a blob-like, cartoon version of himself, with little black dots for eyes, and scribbles for hair, and no nose. Josh coughed again, sending a cloud of black cartoon smoke from his mouth. Cartoon Josh stared at it as it floated upwards, then turned into nothing. Or was Josh actually cartoon Josh? A confused look formed on Josh’s face, as he tried to figure out what was going on. Nothing was making sense to him. Was he actually the cartoon Josh, feeling all the same things, yet he could see himself? Josh clutched his head in his hands, and groaned. ”What the ******** is going on?!” Josh yelled, watching as his words actually came out of his mouth in text form, and bounced around the invisible walls around him, shattering when the hit the floor, which Josh wasn’t even sure really existed. He sighed, and ran his uneven cartoon fingers through his scribble-hair, then walked, his shoes making that obnoxious clicking nose, even though they were converse, and there really was no floor. He stopped, and glared at his shoes. Was he dead? Was that why everything was so weird, and strangely annoying? He couldn’t be dead. He’d heard once, that death was peaceful. Like resting, although he wasn’t sure how accurate that was, because he‘d heard it from a crazy religious woman on the side of the road outside of a Starbucks once. Josh sighed and sat down on the non-existent floor, and held his head in his hands. He look up as he coughed again, watching another smoke cloud rise up, and disappear. Then his little black, cartoon eyes went big, and he shot up from his sitting position, clutching his chest as his face twisted in pain. ”My. Lungs. Are on. Fire!” He managed to choke out, then he collapsed, still clutching his chest in pain.

-X- ”Put it out! Put out the fire! My chest!” Josh sputtered, sitting up, only to feel dizzy again, and sitting down. Everything was black, telling Josh he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, although he didn’t want to. His chest was on fire, why wasn’t anyone putting it out? He would die if they didn’t, why wasn’t anyone helping him? He clutched his chest, his face twisting in pain again, as he listened to an annoying “beep, beep” get faster as his chest continued to burn. ”Josh! Josh, calm down! You aren’t on fire… Jesus Christ.. Drama queen” Matt’s voice said from somewhere around him, although Josh couldn’t really place where it had come from, since everything was sounding plugged up, and metallic. Then he heard Ian’s voice from somewhere, and he knew that he couldn’t possibly be in his strange cartoon land anymore. He forced his eyes to open, though they started watering the minute he did. His eyes felt dry, and blurry. And something smelt like smoke, as if someone had placed a sweater beside a bon fire, and then put the sweater on the next day, without washing it first. He lifted a shaky hand and wiped his eyes, blinking a few times, before he wiped his eyes again, happy that he could now see the plain, white ceiling above him. He shifted around, and sat up, so that he could see the rest of his band. Matt was sitting, with his chin resting on his hand, and his elbow resting against his knee, his other arm resting against his other leg, as he stared at a wall. Ian was looking at Josh, his expression both worried, and relieved, and Mike was leaning back in his chair, his eyes focusing very hard on the ceiling above him. Josh coughed, and flinched as the burning sensation flared up again. ”What happened?” Josh croaked, surprised at his own voice, unsure if it had come from him or not. Ian smiled and leaned forward. ”You pretty much saved everyone. I guess this proves that you aren’t just a pretty face.” Ian said, smiling. Josh smiled back, and attempted to clear his throat, then his eyes grew wide, and he looked around frantically. ”Where’s Maggie? Guys, where’s Maggie, is she okay?” Josh asked, ignoring Matt as he rolled his eyes. Ian sighed, and looked at his hands. ”She’s fine. She was the first person you got out of the bus. She woke up just as you collapsed. Then when we got to the hospital, she showered and left, without saying anything to anyone.” Ian said, running his hand through his hair. Matt finally sat up straight and looked at Josh. ”She refused to let go of your hand while the paramedics were checking you for pulse and stuff. Ian had to pull her away, and then hold onto her, because she kept trying to fight him off…” Matt said, a hint of jealousy in his voice at the fact that Maggie hadn’t even checked to make sure Matt was alive.

-X- Josh rubbed his face, and smiled gratefully at a nurse who walked in and handed him a cup of water, giving him a flirtatious smile as she walked out. Josh chugged it, then cleared his throat. ”So, then why am I in the Hospital? Nothing seems to be broken, nothing caught fire…” Josh said, his voice a little bit clearer, and the fiery pain in his chest was now dulled a little. Mike sat up and looked at Josh, guilt in his eye. ”You inhaled a lot of smoke. Like… A lot of it. My room is directly above the bathroom, and when you said ‘the bus is on fire’ I went to go grab some stuff, even though I wasn’t sure if you were telling the truth, or had just gone insane. I blacked out the minute I stepped in my room. I felt so bad when I found out that you had gone back in to get me.” Mike said, running his fingers through his hair. Josh stared at him, his soft blue eyes round, and sympathetic. ”Mike… You shouldn’t. If anything, it’s my fault I passed out.” Josh murmured softly, happy that everything that happened was flooding back to him. Mike narrowed his eyes, obviously not wanting Josh to take blame for anything that had happened, although none of them had any idea of what actually caused the fire. ”How was it your fault that you collapsed?” Mike asked, not giving up on taking the blame. ” I went back in to get my toiletries bag. Speaking of my toiletries bag… Where is it?” Josh asked, wanting to see Maggie’s picture, since she wasn’t there in person. Ian then bent down and handed Josh the small black bag, which Josh immediately began to sift through. Josh felt panic-y when he couldn’t find it, and began to push things around, not noticing as his toothbrush fell from the bag, and onto the floor, which Ian bent down to pick up. Josh turned it upside down, and searched through everything that had fallen out, then looked inside, gasping as he couldn’t find it. ”Where is it?” Josh asked frantically. Ian and Mike looked at each other confused, then looked back at Josh. ”Where is what?” Ian asked, scratching his head. Josh looked at each boys face, only taking small notice to the fact that Matt was looking in a different direction. ”My picture? Where is my picture?” Josh asked once more, now noticing that Matt still refused to look at him, as had Ian and Mike. ”Matt…?” They both asked at the same time. Matt looked back at them, then at Josh. ”Can we talk for a minute?” Matt asked, shifting uncomfortably.

-X- Josh nodded, and Ian and Mike stood up, walking out. ”We’ll go find the doctor. Find out when you can leave… We had our tech crew cancel the tour, so we’ll be making our way home the minute you’re out.” Ian said, getting up and walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. ”So what’s up?” Josh half croaked, then cleared his throat a few more times. Matt sighed and rocked back and forth in his chair. ”We’re cool, right? You don’t hate me or anything?” Matt asked nervously. Josh smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Yeah of course. I totally understand all that Maggie stuff. You’re dating her, I crossed a line… Wont happen again” Josh said happily, deciding not to tell Matt that it was actually Maggie who had locked the door. Matt smiled back. ”Oh okay good. Thanks Josh. That means a lot to me.” Matt said, smiling. Josh smiled and looked down at all the stuff on his lap. ”Was there anything else?” He asked Matt softly, not wanting to pressure him to speak, but he looked as if he had more to say. Matt then sighed, and gave Josh a sheepish smile. ”Well, now that I know you understand what happened and stuff, I guess I really should continue…” Matt said, suddenly feeling nervous, despite Josh’s soft facial expression. Matt took a deep breath and folded his hands in his lap, and looked at the floor for a few seconds before looking back up and continuing. ”After you left your room, or the room Maggie was using, I went into the bathroom to clean up before I went to speak with you…” Matt said quickly, stopping to inhale deeply before he continued. ”So, I knew Maggie liked the smell of your cologne, and I thought you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed some.” Matt said, looking away at Josh’s facial expression became less understanding, and more confused at what Matt was saying. ”Matt, where are you going with this?” Josh asked, not really wanting to hear everything that happened between the time he and Matt had fought, and the time that the bus had caught fire. Matt smiled sheepishly again, and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Sorry, so anyway, while I was looking through your toiletries, I found the picture of Maggie” Matt said, getting quieter at the end. Josh’s face then lost all emotion, as he stared at Matt. ”…And?” Josh said. Matt’s small smile faltered and he got nervous again, suddenly doubting that Josh would stay calm if he found out what he had done. ”You know what? Never mind. Are you hungry? I think they’ll bring you some food soon…” Matt said, hoping Josh would just let him change the subject. ”Matt, what did you do with my picture?” Josh growled, his eyes narrowing as he spoke. Matt’s eyes widened, then he looked down at his shoes, and rubbed the back of his head. ”Well… I saw you had it, so I got… Angry.. That you never really said anything about her to me.. That you even missed her. I also was upset, because I hadn’t done the same, yet I’m the one who liked her, whereas you just spent a lot of time with her… I felt jealous” Matt said, looking at the floor as he spoke, not wanting to see the anger in Josh’s eyes. ”What did you do?” Josh asked angrily again, tired of hearing unimportant things flow from Matt’s mouth. Matt sighed and looked up at Josh, flinching as he saw the flames of anger in Josh’s eyes, as if Josh knew everything was Matt’s fault. ”I uh… I ripped the picture into tiny pieces and set them on fire… I didn’t know the garbage can was plastic… I thought it was metal… I thought the fire would just burn itself out… I didn’t know that would happen…” Matt said, looking into Josh’s eyes, only to look at the ground immediately as he saw the pure anger in Josh’s eyes.

-X- ”You… Set the bus… on fire?!” Josh sputtered. Matt gasped and looked back up at Josh. ”No, no! Not on purpose… It was an accident. A pure accident” Matt said quickly. Josh shifted, so that his torso was taller, and stared straight at Matt, locking him in a stare, and didn’t drop it no matter what Matt did. ”You… Set my picture on fire… Because you were jealous? Jealous of a ******** picture?!” Josh spat at Matt, who began twiddling his fingers, not really liking the direction the conversation was going in. ”Well I… I mean I… It was an—“ Matt started, only to be interrupted. ”That was the ONLY picture I had of Maggie like that. The ONLY one… You were jealous of a piece of paper with her face on it, when you have the real thing… What. The. ********] Josh said, his voice getting louder. Matt looked down at his pants, and ran his fingers through his hair. ”I didn’t think…” Matt said quietly. Josh rolled his eyes and let out a short, humorless laugh. ”You didn’t think? Obviously you didn’t think! Maggie was LOCKED in her room. Had I not broken the door, she would have died. Your stupid selfishness could have killed us all and for what? A bit of jealousy? Over a piece of ******** paper?!” Josh said, ignoring the nurse, who was staring at him wide eyed from the door way. Matt opened and closed his mouth like a fish, then gave up on finding something to say and looked at his lap. He had almost killed everyone… Josh was right, which made things worse. What he had done was selfish, and irresponsible, and now his best friend was in the hospital because of him. ”I’m sorry…” Matt said. Josh’s eyes narrowed, as he began to put things back into his bag. ”Matt…” Josh said quietly, although the anger in his tone was still noticeable. ”Yes Josh?” Matt said, flinching as Josh met eyes with him. ”Get out… Get out of my sight… Right now.’ Josh said, calmly but furiously, then slid down into a laying position, and buried his face into the pillow, screaming into it, although no one but himself could hear it.

-X- Next Day-X-

-X- Josh woke to someone poking at his hand. He opened his eyes and jumped a little as he met eyes with the nurse, who was carefully taking out his I.V., which he really didn’t think he needed. She smiled at him, and moved back, so Josh could sit up without bumping heads with her. ”I’ll go tell the doctor you’re up” The nurse said cheerfully, then left the room. Josh sighed, and looked up as Ian sat on the edge of his bed. ”I didn’t even know you were in here…” Josh murmured, happy that Ian was the only one in the room. Ian laughed and smiled at Josh. ”I’m sneaky like that… hey um… not to intrude… But what happened with Matt? He ran out of the hospital preeeetty fast.” Ian said. Josh sighed, and ran his fingers through his black hair, then began rubbing his eyes, and leaned back against the lumpy pillows as he tried to figure out the best way to tell Ian. ”I over reacted… He took my picture of Maggie, and set it on fire. That’s how the fire started…” Josh explained. Ian’s eyes widened. ”That was Matt’s fault? Gee, no wonder he dashed out of here the minute Maggie said she was leaving” Ian said, running his fingers through his curly hair. ”Maggie was here?” Josh asked, suddenly more alert since her name had come up. Ian nodded, and then gestured to some shopping bags on the floor. ”When you kicked Matt from your room, he suggested that we go shopping. So, we did, and then when we came back Maggie was here. You were asleep, but when we came in she was laying beside you. Then when we arrived she said she was going home, and Matt asked if she could take him with her.” Ian explained. Josh nodded, secretly wishing he had been awake while Maggie was there. He wanted to make sure she was okay, but also that she knew why what had happened, happened. He also wanted her to explain the anti-depressants. He suddenly felt guilty. What if she really did need them? What if his stupid action had just made things a little worse for her, and the problem she had told him about. He sighed, and looked up as a cocky-looking doctor walked in, and smiled at Josh. ”How do you feel?” He asked. Josh rolled his eyes at the typical question and folded his hands in his lap. ”I’m fine. I don’t even know why I was put here in the first place…” Josh murmured, hoping he didn’t sound like a stuck up pop star. The doctor laughed, and smiled. ”Well, you can go home once I’m done. But you did need to be here. You hit your head pretty hard on when you blacked out, and you inhaled a lot of smoke. Luckily, we got your lungs all cleaned out, so your singing voice should be back to normal, so you needn’t worry yourself about that. And your head is fine, although we didn’t do x-rays. We checked you during the night, and everything seems to be fine, so you are free to leave whenever you’re ready. Just go check out at the front desk, and hide your face. People know you’re here, and you have a posse of people waiting for you down stairs. You may take the fire exit if you wish.” The doctor said, then left the room, leaving Josh with Ian.

-X- Ian then sighed, and rubbed his eyes, handing Josh a pile of clothes, so that he could change. Josh smiled gratefully, and began pulling stuff on under the covers. ”Are you going to talk to Maggie?” Ian asked. Josh stopped pulling his black fitted sweater on, just above his head, so a bit of hair stuck out the top, and his arms were in the sleeves, as he fought through the material to get it on. He sighed, and smirked at Ian, as Ian pulled the sweater over his head. ”No. I don’t think I can… Despite Matt almost killing us because of his stupid jealousy, I still promised him I wouldn’t cross anymore lines.” Josh said, shaking his head. Ian rolled his eyes. ”Are you stupid? You’re in love with her. She at least deserves to know!” Ian said, handing Josh a brand new pair of black converse, which he slid on a tied up, then fixed his slim black jeans so that they were sitting properly, over his shoes. Josh looked up from his pants, and slid off the bed, stretching before walking over to his toiletries bag, which had been placed on a small table across the room while Josh had slept. Josh then walked to the door and shifted his weight from foot, to foot. ”I know… I will… Today. Can we go though? The hospital smell is making me sick, and I’m craving a cheese burger. Where’s Mike?” Josh asked, laughing at himself as he realized that he was shooting questions at Ian without waiting for a response. ”Yes, we can go. The tech guys brought us a car, and then took Mike back with them, thinking you would want to be as alone as possible. And yes. McDonalds sounds wonderful. The only food they have in this place, for the non-sick people, is old tuna fish sandwiches. Lets go sign you out, then head back to Vancouver. I bet Lucy misses you” Ian said, laughing at the sheepish smile on Josh’s face. Then he handed Josh a comb, and a piece of gum, and they headed down to the front desk, Josh combing his black and blue hair while they waited for the elevators. Then he handed the comb back to Ian, and smiled at the woman at the desk, when she gave him a cheerful smile, and handed him papers, which he began to fill out. Once they were done, they made their way through the hospital, ignoring the gasps as they passed people who recognized them, and finally made it through the fire exit, and ran down to the black car, with purple tinted windows. ”Sweet” Josh said, impressed as he slid into the car. Ian smiled and nodded, then started up the car, and began the long drive back to Vancouver.


-X- After about an hour, Josh and Ian ran out of things to talk about, so Josh pulled out his ipod, and put it on shuffle, smiling as a song that always reminded him of Maggie came on. He stared out the window, listening to the intro played, then began singing along in his head, loving the way the lyrics described most of what had happened between Maggie and himself. Oh girl these nights are dull, I wish that I could spend them with you. I’m staring at this wall, repeating ‘girl I love you’. Just take your pick, they’re all the same. These things that you’re telling me can’t really show me how you feel. I’m breaking down, I’m falling down, but now I’m breathing. And now I’m scared to move, don’t listen to a word I tell you. Just take me by my hand, I swear I’ll make this up to you. So now you want me to fix everything, but baby there’s so much, and so little time to replace the things I’ve broken, ripped apart and thrown away. You can say that you don’t miss me, I think about you everyday.” Josh sighed at the end of the chorus, and pressed skip, resting his head against the back of the seat, letting the next song take over him. Josh continued to stare out the window, not really listening to anything that played, although he could hear the melodies. Josh looked around as a familiar scene rolled past him, and sat up straight, pulling out his headphone. ”Where are we?” Josh asked suddenly. ”Uh… Calgary, why?” Ian asked, sounding completely and utterly confused. ”Maggie lives in Calgary. STOP!” Josh said, recognizing a car on the street, which Josh knew belonged to Maggie’s brother. Ian pressed the brakes quickly, sending Josh flying forward. ”Ow, d**k” Josh muttered, causing Ian to laugh. ”Maybe if you didn’t yell stop, I wouldn’t have braked so hard. Why are we stopped?” Ian asked, looking around. Josh shook his head and undid his seatbelt. ”That’s Maggie’s brother’s car. I saw it the night of the concert. I don’t see Maggie’s, so I’ll go ask Nate if he knows where she could be. Stay here.” Josh said, stepping out of the car. He jogged to the front door, and rang the door bell, and waited until he heard footsteps.

-X- Josh smiled as Nathan opened the door, and looked surprised to see him. ”Uh. Hey Josh…” Nathan said, unsure of what to make of Josh standing on his doorstep. Josh blushed a little, as he realized how stupid he probably looked, and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. ”I uh… I hate to bother you, but uh… Do you know where Maggie is?” Josh asked, rocking on his heels. Nathan looked uncomfortable, and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Wasn’t she with you… You guys… The band?” He asked. Josh’s smile faded and looked at the ground. ”She was… but then the bus caught fire, and I was put in the hospital, and then she and Matt left, while I was asleep” Josh explained quietly, hoping Nathan wouldn’t close the door in his face. Josh looked up, and saw Nathan looking a little shocked. ”Is she okay? She didn’t start it, did she?” Nathan asked, obviously believing that she had. Josh shook his head. ”No, no. Matt did. By accident. And she’s fine. I was the only one who was stuck in the hospital… I haven’t talked to her since yesterday morning… During the storm” Josh said, remembering the fight with Matt, and the way he had felt when he pressed Maggie against him. He sighed, and noticed Nathan looking around in the hall. ”She moved to Vancouver. Come inside, I’ll go grab some paper and write her new address.” Nathan said, closing the door behind Josh. Then he walked off in another direction, and Josh looked around, taking in the place Maggie had been staying in for the past while, since her parents kicked her out. Then he climbed the stairs, and walked into the room he assumed was hers. Some of her stuff was still there, and he looked around, smiling as he found her diary in her special hiding spot. He had always known where it was, even in her new house, since her spots were usually the same. But he had never looked at it, not really wanting to know every secret she had. If she wanted him to know, she would tell him. He brushed the dust off the top, and assumed she hadn’t looked at it in a while. He opened it, and went to the last page that had writing, only checking the date. The last time she had written was when she was 16. A few days after Josh’s birthday. Josh closed the book, and looked at the cover, jumping when he heard a voice behind him.

-X- ”What are you doing?” Nathan asked, stepping into Maggie’s room. Josh spun around to face him, his face turning red as he realized he was holding the diary where Nathan could see it. ”Just… Looking” Josh stuttered. Nathan walked over and took the book gently from Josh’s hand. ”I know you didn’t read anything… You aren’t like that… You love her too much to do anything like that” Nathan said. Josh’s eyes grew wide as Nathan said that, happy that Nathan was still inspecting the book, so that he couldn’t see Josh’s face. ”What?” Josh squeaked. Nathan looked up and smiled, handing the book back to Josh. ”I can see it in your eyes… How important she is to you… It’s more then the way any best friend would. You went through everything for her, with her. And now, you’re doing everything you can to keep her with you… To not leave her again. You love her. You always have.” Nathan said, sounding more sure of himself, and confident then he had when he talked to Josh, ever. Josh stared at Nathan wide eyed, and then sighed. ”She’s with Matt…” Josh said quietly, looking at the floor. Nathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again. ”Then go get her from him. You deserve her… you actually worked to get where you are with her… Here’s her address… Good luck” Nathan said, handing Josh a little piece of paper, before walking off somewhere, leaving Josh to show himself out. Josh walked back to the car, holding Maggie’s diary, and the little piece of paper with her address and buckled himself back in. ”Does he know?” Ian asked, as he pulled away from the curb, and began making his way to Vancouver once more. ”Nah. He has no idea where she could be” Josh said, putting his headphones back in for the duration of the drive, wishing he could get there faster, so he could finally tell Maggie the one thing he’d always wanted to tell her, but never had the guts to. A few hours later Ian pulled into the drive way of the shared house, and Josh jumped out, grabbing his stuff, and running in, not even noticing as Mike said hello to him. He ran up the stairs into his and Matt’s shared room, stopping when he saw Matt sprawled on his bed. ”You can’t kick me out of this room, it’s mine to. Feel free to make a tape line dividing the floor, as long as the closet is neutral territory.” Matt mumbled, as Josh walked across the room and dropped and bags of new clothes on the bed. ”Shut up” Josh muttered, pulling off his shirt. Then he grabbed a towel and ran to the bathroom, where he continued to strip down, and got into the shower, washing the Smokey smell off himself, so that he would smell like he usually did when he saw Maggie.

-X- Josh stepped out of the shower, happy to be back in his own home, and pulled the blow dryer from the drawer of the bathroom counter. He secured his towel around his waist, and began drying his hair, brushing it as he dried parts, so that it would be straight when he was done. Then he dried off completely and pulled his slim black jeans back on, and walked back to his and Matt’s room. ”nice hair.” Matt said. Josh ignored him and pulled his cologne out of his toiletries bag, spritsing himself with some before he pulled his fitted black sweater back on, and brushed through his hair one more time. ”So what, now you’re never speaking to me again?” Matt asked, sounding a little annoyed, as Josh continued to fix his clothes and hair. ”You set the bus on fire.” Josh said, then grabbed his lyric book, his guitar and his ipod and raced back down the stairs. ”Keys?” Josh whispered to Ian, who was sitting with Mike at the table. ”You’re gonna do it?” Ian asked, noticing the lyric book and guitar. Josh shrugged. ”I’m going to try.” Josh said, smiling as Ian handed him the keys, then he ran to the black car, and slid into the drivers seat, shoving his stuff into the seat beside him, then plugging in his ipod, so that it played through the car speakers. Then he put on his black Ray Ban sunglasses and pulled out of the driveway, speeding down the street towards the address Nathan had given him. Josh smiled as he pulled up in front of the house, and was happy to see Maggie’s car, which probably mean she was around, and not off doing something fun. Josh stepped out of the car, and walked to the passengers seat, pushing his sunglasses up onto his nose, before he picked up his stuff, and put it into the backseat, so that Maggie could sit in the front. He walked up to the front door, and knocked, putting his hands in his pockets as he waited, hoping that he looked half as good as Matt usually did. Josh heard footsteps, and felt a little nauseous as he heard locks being undone, and began to wonder if it really was the right thing to do. He shook his head and swallowed his fear, a small smile working it’s way to his face as Maggie opened the door.

-X- ”Hey. Can I show you something?” he said as she opened the door all the way, giving her his classic ‘aren’t I adorable?’ smile, then he grabbed her wrist, and pulled her down towards the car, only letting go of her wrist to open the door of the car for her. Josh closed the door once she got in, and walked around the car, and slid into his seat. He did up his seat belt, and started up the car, pressing play on his ipod, so that the car was filled with quiet music, although it could hardly be heard. They drove for a little while, neither of them really talking since Josh was concentrating on where he was going. After about 15 minutes, he pulled into a secret drive way, which was hidden by tree’s and stopped the car in the middle of a grassy private garden, hopping out quickly so he could open Maggie’s door for her. ”This is my place. Matt’s the only other person that knows about it. He found me here one day, during a rain storm. It’s where I go to write.” Josh said, his cheeks flushed with excitement and nervousness and he took her hand in his, and pulled her towards a bench beside a small fountain, that was shaded by tree’s. ”Come.. This is where I sit. I always sit right here” He said, pushing Maggie down gently onto the bench, then sitting beside her, a smile on his face. ”And I stare at the fountain, until I think of something. Isn’t it beautiful?” Josh asked happily, looking around at his little hidden spot. Then he turned to Maggie, and began fiddling with the clasps on his guitar case, getting it ready for when he needed it. ”So… When I write, it’s usually about one thing. One thing, from a few different angles. The happy, the sad, the lonely, the love. I wrote a song… and I want you to uh… sing it with me” he said, opening his lyric book to the page with ‘Good to you’ on it, and handed it to her. ”I highlighted the parts your would sing. Do you mind?” Josh asked, pulling out his guitar. Josh smiled when Maggie agreed to sing it with him, and the began strumming, feeling more nervous then ever. He really hoped she wouldn’t get the theme, or inspiration of the song until he could explain it to her, but even Ian had said it was pretty easy to tell. Josh took a deep breath, and began singing, only paying attention to his guitar, so that he didn’t have to see any facial expressions Maggie would make.

Everyones around, no words are coming out
And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?
I know it's not enough, I still don't measure up
And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it

And now I do, want you to know I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do, want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you

Ahhh, ohhh

I thought I saw the sign, somewhere between the lines
Or maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want.
I still have your letter, just got caught between someone I just invented
Who I really am and who I’ve become

And now I do want you to know, I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you

And I do want you to know, I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do
Want you to know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you

I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you (I'd be so good to you)

I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you (I'd be sooooo good to you)

Josh smiled when they finished singing, and put his guitar back in his case, before he took his book from Maggie and placed it inside the case on top of the guitar, closing it once they fit. Then he took a deep breath and began to speak, hoping that he was making the right decision. ”Maggie, you’re my inspiration. Everything I do, is you. You’re my life. You mean everything to me, and I never want to have to be away from you, I never have. I’ve felt this way for a really, really long time. Since my sixteenth birthday, when you showed up in my backyard with a box of popsicles and a tent, and since then you’ve been all I think about. Maggie, I’m in love with you” Josh murmured, then he slid closer to her, and put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, so that their bodies were pressed against each other, then he kissed her on the lips, and didn’t break away, until he heard someone shouting his name.

-X- Josh reluctantly pulled away, and looked around, finally meeting eyes with a furious Matt, who was standing a few feet away. ”Josh. What the ********] Matt shouted, walking quickly towards the two of them. Josh slid away from Maggie, and buried his face in his hands, feeling guilty about what he’d done to his best friend. Matt stopped in front of Josh, and didn’t even look at Maggie, for she was not the one he was angry with. ”Josh… Look at me, you worthless piece of s**t.” Matt said. Josh lifted his head, trying not to show either of them how much Matt’s words had hurt him. ”You promised that you understand the boundaries. You promised me that you wouldn’t cross the line. Josh, you can’t say nothing happened this time, because I ******** saw you.” Matt shouted angrily. Josh’s eyes filled with tears, and he realized how right Matt really was. ”I’m sorry...” Josh whispered, burying his face in his hands once more. Matt let out a short, hallow laugh and then scoffed at Josh. ”yeah, I’m sure you are. Stand up. Stand up, and look me in the eyes as you say it” Matt said. Josh stood, but slowly, glancing at Maggie, only to have Matt smack his arm. ”Don’t look at her. Say it” Matt said. Josh’s tear filled eyes looked straight into Matt’s angry eyes, and he whispered the words Matt wanted to hear. ”I’m sorry” He whimpered. An evil smirk form across Matt’s face and he put his hand on his hip. ”Whatever.” Matt said, then he lifted his arm, and punched Josh right in the nose, sending Josh flying into a bush behind the bench. Josh crouched in the bush, whimpering as pain shot through his nose, trying to control the bleeding. ”Come on Maggie… Let's get out of here. Away from him” Matt said, holding his hand out to Maggie, his expression now softer, since he wasn’t talking to Josh anymore.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Maggie stayed at Josh's side for a while, just letting her head rise and fall on Josh's chest as he breathed. After a while she managed to pulled herself up and away from Josh as she walked over to where a window was not too far from the bed. Her ice blue eyes looked down to the front of the hospital where reporters were lined up, trying to break through the police who were blocking the doorway. Maggie looked down at them once more before glancing back to Josh and walking to his side, placing her hand gently in his, smiling to herself. She just looked at Josh's face, watching as his eyes stayed shut and his emotionless face was perfect, almost like a statue made by the world's best artist. The girl reached her small hand up and placed it on the side of Josh's face, letting her hand curve his cheek perfectly before she ran her fingers through his hair. She always loved the feel of Josh's hair, he kept it so well and it was always shining especially under stage lights. For once in a long time she smiled the same exact smile she did back when she was younger, when she saw Josh everyday. It was that smile that looked cute and adorable but hid behind it those three words. Suddenly the door opened and Maggie returned her hand to her side as a nurse came in to check everything over. The woman left after a little bit of time flew by and Maggie hopped up on the bed, making sure not to hit Josh. There was enough space for her to sit with her legs pulled up on the bed which was what she did before taking Josh's hand again, not wanting to ever let go. "I was like twelve or thirteen when I first realized that I loved you, I was young and didn't understand it so I just passed it off as a crush but as the months went on I realized just how much I really loved you and soon figured out what it all meant. When high school came I knew I had to change not only for myself but for you, I knew that things would change and that you'd find a girl or another best friend, whatever but I knew that something was bound to happen. When it did and Matt got between us I always thought back on how I could still love you even after the fact that you picked Matt and I realized that all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, sure I wished you would return my feelings some day but I also wanted you to do whatever you had to so that you were happy." Maggie played with Josh's fingers as she spoke, not even looking up to his face since she knew he couldn't hear her. She wished that she could tell Josh exactly what she had just said only with him awake but that wasn't going to happen, it was just impossible. Sighing Maggie just shook her head and looked out the window from her seat once more before she placed herself beside Josh and closed her eyes, sleeping for a while.

♪♫ Voices filled the air suddenly as Maggie turned over and buried her head in a pillow so the sound would go away but then the pillow was gone and the bed was also gone. She opened her eyes and blinked a bit before looking at Matt who had picked her up bridal style before walking to a chair and placing her on his lap. He never said anything and Maggie didn't either but her eyes darted around everywhere before she sighed and stood up, walking over to where her new bag was along with Shadow who had been sleeping in the bag for a long time. The girl simply placed the bag over her shoulder before looking down out the window and sighing before hearing Matt behind her. "Are you going somewhere?" He asked, his voice quiet though as he tried to keep his eyes away from Josh. Maggie nodded before turning around and looking at the floor, still refusing to talk to anyone. She walked out towards the door but when her hand touch the door knob Matt came bounding to her side. "Can I come with you?" Maggie hesitated, did she really want to sit in a car for hours with Matt? No, she didn't really but she could tell he was uncomfortable here so she nodded her head before walking out, making sure to get ahead of Matt as she walked outside. She didn't need the reporters yet, not now and not for a while. As she got to her car which Jeremy had manage to bring up she turned around and watched as Matt talked to the reporters. Finally after a while she rolled her eyes and started the car, making the door slam shut loud enough for Matt to come running over and getting into the car. "Try not to focus so much on the reporters, its almost like you do want them around you 24/7." Matt turned around to the side and looked a Maggie with a glare before shaking his head. "Of course not! They wanted to know about Josh so I thought I should tell them some stuff." Maggie shook her head slightly before turning back to the road. "Have you ever thought about how Josh might feel about that? Maybe he didn't want people to know everything, maybe he doesn't want his whole life put out there for everyone to hear." Matt was quiet after that, not even looking at Maggie anymore as he stared out the window and she continued on driving.

♪♫ The silence went on for a long time till Matt turned to Maggie and ran his fingers through her hair before speaking. "Why won't you let the reporters know about you?" He asked while still playing with her hair. Maggie tilted her head to the side and looked directly out at the road before turning to Matt quickly then back. "I don't want them to know...I have a past that they don't need to know about." Her tone was edgy, almost as if saying 'that's all you're getting', while Matt stared at her before giving a gentle nod. Something about this didn't feel right to Maggie, she wanted to be next to Josh, she wanted Josh to be playing with her hair, she wanted Josh to sit there and be the one person who actually asks if she's okay, and she wanted Josh to be there to love her like in her dreams. Everything seemed to be out of place, almost like it was a puzzle that Maggie needed to figure out through every piece before she can actually get what she wants. Sighing Maggie leaned back into her seat, trying to focus on the road but her mind was wandering everywhere. Matt seemed to noticed as he smiled and tried to focus her attention but gave up after getting no results from her. After a while she turned back to him and looked at him for a moment before returning her eyes to the road. "You're lucky to have Josh as a friend. I know you're mad at him and you two are fighting but you need to put that aside and focus on staying friends with Josh and keeping the band together. Sometimes problems occur but as best friends you two need to push through them and think about what brought you two together, think about how far you've gotten as friends. Don't let something so great just fall apart." Matt didn't say anything, he just turned away and looked out the window as Maggie rolled her eyes. After a while they stopped for dinner, talking about anything and everything as time just went on by. Maggie kinda felt like she was getting closer to Matt but not the way she was supposed to, he was more like a brother to her yet she was dating him. It just didn't feel right but Maggie was too kind to actually tell him, she was killing her heart day by day as time went on. From then on it was quiet all the way back to Vancouver till Matt had to direct Maggie to where she needed to go. Once she parked near the apartment the band shared she got out and said goodbye to Matt before kissing him goodbye though it went on longer then she wanted it to go as Matt seemed to push himself onto her. Finally Maggie broke away and said goodbye to Matt before climbing into her car.

♪♫ Maggie drove towards her apartment slowly, stopping at Starbucks and ordering her usual before she managed to make it home. Once she walked through the door it felt awkward for her since she hadn't been there for a while but she just closed her eyes and stood at the doorway as she took in the apple scent of her home. Sighing with relief she dropped her bag on the couch, Shadow jumping out and heading up the stairs, then Maggie closed the door behind her as she walked to the kitchen to cook herself a small snack. As she was sitting on the counter she realized something horrible. Her guitar was gone...the one she had waited for years for was now burned to ashes. Maggie sighed and looked around before eating the cookie she had carefully. Maybe it was a sign for her to not go on with her music career or to stay away from Marianas Trench. Either way seemed horribly wrong but the only thing her mind was focused on was how she was going to find a guitar like the one she had before...it was impossible. It was one of a kind, only one made, the only guitar that felt right to Maggie and now it was gone, forever to lay on the ground in ashes. Maggie groaned lightly before hopping off the counter and moving to the living room where she just sat on the couch and watched t.v. shows for a while till she felt extremely tired and decided it was time for her to go to sleep. She turned out all the lights and made her way quietly up the stairs before she went into her room, closing the door behind her. Her room had a wall entirely of window, over-looking Vancouver, and it was her favorite view ever but right now she didn't care for that, she simply shut the curtains and walked over to her bed where she changed into PJs and climbed into her bed. She laid there for a while before turning over and looking at the picture of her and Josh beside her bed. Maggie wished she could be laying beside Josh but for now she couldn't so she accepted that and closed her eyes, falling into a sleep as she thought about Josh.

♪♫ - X The Next Day X -
The room was still dark, the only light source being from the alarm clock not too far away which read 7:20 am. Maggie was still sleeping while Shadow walked over to the wall window and moved through the curtains which caused sunlight to fall directly onto Maggie's face. A small groan escaped her small dry lips as she turned over and placed the pillow over her head in an effort to keep the sun away. The damage was done though, she was awake and once she was she couldn't go back to sleep for a while. Maggie sat up in her bed, shivering as the cold air hit her bare arms since the blanket had slipped down from her arms. Her ice blue eyes scanned across the room till she found her kitten laying in the sun with his eyes closed. "Right, so you get to sleep yet I can't?" She muttered before pushing the blankets completely away and pulling her feet to the side of the bed where she stood up and walked over to the bathroom not too far away from the bed. She stripped down and started up the shower, hopping in and cleaning herself before staying in the shower for a little bit longer. It may have been an hour later when the water started to get cold so she finally got out and wrapped a towel around herself before starting on all of her morning jobs. First she just did the basics, brushing her teeth, washing her face, and drying her hair out till she moved on out the bathroom to her closet where she looked around for something to wear. It took a while before she could figure out what she wanted to wear but in the end she took out one of her favorite outfits and placed it out before moving over to the bathroom again, dropping the towel into the dirty clothes as she went. Now she was on to her hair but she couldn't figure out how she wanted to work with it today till she smiled and just put two small pigtails up on the top of her head while letting the majority of her hair flow down to her shoulders. The hair in the pigtails was curled while she straightened the rest and smiled at her reflection. Her make-up came next and she only put eyeliner on since she didn't feel like going through everything and finally she was finished so she could move on to something else. Her feet padded on the floor softly as she walked over to Shadow and pulled him up before carrying him on down the stairs to the kitchen where she fed the kitten.

♪♫ The kitten let out a meow before hopping onto the counter and eating while Maggie looked through her kitchen for something she wanted to eat. Within a few minutes she had ingredients all over the counter so she could make caramel pancakes. The blond was soon ready with an apron on and a bowl at her side as she started to mix everything and prepared the batter. A couple of times Maggie had to push Shadow away since the kitten kept trying to get into the batter but eventually after Maggie threw a piece of bacon to the side, the kitten went after that, forgetting all about the batter that Maggie had. Sliding over to the stove she set a pan out and poured the batter into circles on the pan, letting the first side of each one cook before she flipped them. The process went on like that for a while till she finished most of the pancakes and started to wash the dishes as the food cooled down. Her stomach kept growling over and over again till everything was spotless clean and she finally got herself some pancakes and bacon as she walked over to the living room and sat down on the couch, turning the t.v. on. As she ate she flipped through the channels, every single one commenting on what happened to Marianas Trench which Maggie really didn't want to hear about at that moment. Finally she stopped at a channel with a random show on so she decided to watch that as she stuffed her mouth full of the caramel pancakes and the bacon. A while later the plate was cleaned and put away as the blond laid on the couch, her stomach satisfied from the food. Shadow let out a meow from the stairs and Maggie looked towards the cat, frowning as she got up and followed the kitten up the stairs. The black kitten scratched at the bookcase that lead up to the music room and Maggie smiled gently before opening the door and walking up the spiral steps till she got into the room. Shadow was laying on the piano in the sun as Maggie walked over there and sat down, her fingers hovering above the keys. She played a few notes before playing at random for a while, letting the soft sound flow around the room as she closed her eyes and listened quietly. Her mind seemed to wander off somewhere else as she continued to play, her fingers moving faster and faster as time went on. Suddenly she saw Shadow perk his head up before watching him disappear and Maggie followed behind the kitten, closing the music room door before disappearing off to the front door where she heard a knock and a confused look came to her face as she walked to the door and opened it. Maggie was surprised to see Josh at her door, she didn't remember ever telling him where she lived yet there he was standing at her doorstep looking perfectly well after what had happened to him, giving her that smile that she loved to see. A light blush tinted her face as she tilted her head to the side and looked at Josh with a confused look. "Sure you can." Maggie smiled and rolled her eyes at Josh as he took her wrist before pulling her on towards his car. She smiled at him as he opened the door for her and she got in, letting herself get comfortable as she tried to figure out what Josh was wanting to show her. Her mind kept drawing a blank and she just sat there quietly as Josh drove, her mind focused on everything around her as she looked everywhere, her eyes mostly staying towards Josh. After a while Josh stopped the car in a hidden area which Maggie looked out the window at before smiling to Josh again as he opened the door for her. The blond got out of the car and walked a little bit away from Josh as she looked around at the place in aw. "It's a beautiful place, the trees are amazing, the colors of the plants are wonderful, and everything seems to have a calm aura around it. I understand why you'd pick here to write." Maggie blushed again as Josh took her hand and she willingly followed him, sitting down on the bench. "It is beautiful, it reminds me of those places that you imagine when you read a book or something, its just absolutely amazing." Maggie watched Josh carefully as he fiddled with the guitar case and she took the lyric gently into her hands as she quickly looked at the highlighted colors. The girl moved herself a bit closer to Josh on the bench before she returned her eyes back to Josh. "I guess I can sing it with you but I don't know how well I'll do." She smiled to Josh before looking down at the page and waiting for the song to start, the sound of the guitar flowing through her ears before she heard Josh start to sing.

Everyones around, no words are coming out
And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?
I know it's not enough, I still don't measure up
And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it

And now I do, want you to know I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do, want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you

Ahhh, ohhh

I thought I saw the sign, somewhere between the lines
Or maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want.
I still have your letter, just got caught between someone I just invented
Who I really am and who I’ve become

And now I do want you to know, I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you

And I do want you to know, I’ll hold you up above everyone
And I do
Want you to know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you

I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you (I'd be so good to you)

I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you
I'd be good to you (I'd be sooooo good to you)

When the song was over Maggie was surprised on how well their voices seemed to fit together but she was more surprised about the song, she wouldn't say anything though, she wasn't completely sure about the meaning on the song but she'd wait to see if Josh said anything about it. She handed him the book before turning to him with a shy smile as she listened to his words. Her mouth just seemed to open and close over and over again as she listened to his words and she let them flow through her mind, letting them hit directly into her heart. Josh had loved her the whole time, she spent years thinking that Josh only thought of her as a friend but that wasn't the case, he had actually loved her, he wanted her to be with him, he let Matt take her from him. Everything seemed to fit together at that moment and Maggie was just speechless and was completely taken by surprised as Josh kissed her. At first Maggie was still, not moving at all before she leaned into Josh and kissed him back. She had been waiting for this for years and finally it had happened, her dreams were coming true but they all came crashing down in an instant as she heard the voice of something she didn't think she'd hear at that moment.

♪♫ Maggie let Josh pull away but her hand instinctively reached out to his hand as she placed hers in his, hidden out of Matt's line of sight but when Josh moved away from Maggie she let him, placing her hand back at her side as she looked between both boys. She never wanted this to happen, she didn't want to be the cause of Josh and Matt's friendship being ruined, she didn't want to be the cause of the band breaking up, and she certainly didn't want to be the cause of a fight happening. Everything seemed to come crashing down as she heard Matt's words, he sounded so mad at Josh yet she was the one who he should blame, she was the one who had been trying to get closer to Josh ever since she met back up with them. Maggie stood up and walked away a bit before turning around and trying to calm herself down as her nerves seemed to be going out of control. Walking quietly back over to the bench she sat down again, trying to meet eyes with Matt to get his attention but nothing seemed to be working, he was so fixed on yelling at Josh and it was making Maggie mad, she wasn't liking how Matt was treating Josh, the one she really loved. Maggie eyes shot open wide as she saw Matt's next move. Her mind going crazy as she looked towards Josh who was holding his bleeding nose. That took it too far, Maggie wasn't going to let Matt get away with that. "Matt shut the ******** up and go away! You have no right to say any of that especially to the person that I've loved since I was thirteen. Just get away and leave Josh and me alone or I swear I'll make sure you get what you deserve." Maggie watched as Matt stared at her before she watched him walk away and she turned to Josh, bending down and moving his hand out of the way as she took her sweater off and pressed it to his nose, getting all the blood clean off him and also stopping the bleeding. She didn't say anything for a while till she sighed and looked at Josh while holding the fabric to his nose. "I love you Josh, I have since middle school but I can't let this happen. I don't want to be the one who ruins the friendship you and Matt have and I also don't want to be the reason that the band breaks up. I want to be with you, I want to be by your side and be able to call myself yours but not if everything else is going to fall apart." Her voice practically came out in a whisper as she moved the fabric from Josh's nose and kissed him once more shortly before placing the sweater back and standing up, walking away from Josh with tear filled eyes till she was back at her house where she went inside and leaned against the door, crying over the fact that she was so close to getting Josh yet it couldn't happen.

[ilyuhh]

.All my indesiction...

>> Joshua -X- Ramsay <<

...All of my excess...

_________ ...Don't you ever tell me I'm not loving you best.


-X- A small sob escaped Josh’s chest as he listened to Maggie speak with Matt. He was shocked at what Maggie said, but didn’t say anything, as he tried to control the odd squeaking noises that were exiting his mouth. He took a deep breath, and finally controlled the sobs, and squeaking, only to see Matt walking away angrily, taking Josh’s car instead of walking back to the house. Josh sighed, and looked up at Maggie as she knelt beside him. He looked down at his shoes as Maggie pressed her sweater against his nose, but didn’t reject it, as he would have if he didn’t feel so tired. He felt exhausted. Exhausted and drained, as if he’d just run a marathon. He closed his eyes and held the sweater against his nose, his hands shaking, and his heart feeling as if it had been stepped on. Every inch of him was in pain, even if only his nose had been punched. He’d just told Maggie the biggest secret he ever had. He had finally kissed her, and he had also lost his best friend. But strangely, he didn’t regret it. Eventually him and Matt would make up, even if it took a while. Josh sighed and pressed the sweater closer to his nose as he listened to Maggie speak. She felt the same. She always had, and that made Josh happy. He just wished he had said something before Matt came along. So that they could have been together before it all got complicated. Josh sighed, as he realized that if that had happened, Matt never would have become his friend. And the band never would have started, and he still would have been spending every second with Maggie. He shook his head slightly, and closed his eyes. Why was everything so confusing? Why couldn’t there just be a simple answer to all of life’s questions, instead of Josh having to spend hours on end, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing wrong, and right. Josh’s breath then got caught in his chest, as she continued to speak.

-X- He opened his mouth to protest when Maggie said that she wanted to be with him, but couldn’t. She could. They would find a way to make it work. They always had, and he was sure they could do it this time. But no words came out. Not even a sound. He looked at the ground, defeated. He’d spent four years of his life being in love with Maggie, without realizing that all he had to do was say ‘I love you’ and she would have been his. All that time, he had just sat back and waited for fate to do something. To tell him what to do, or to show him how things were supposed to be. He had never fought when he should have, and even now, he couldn’t fight. He couldn’t find the energy to run after Maggie, who had walked away. He just… Couldn’t. He sighed and pulled the sweater again from his nose, and sniffled, before walking slowly over to the fountain. He smiled slightly at the fact that his nose had stopped bleeding, but it still hurt. A lot. He sighed, and dipped his hands into the water, then ran them across his face, to wash off any blood. Then he dried his face with the part of the sweater that hadn’t been pressed against his nose, taking a moment to breathe in Maggie’s smell, before removing the sweater from his face. Josh walked back to the bench, but instead of sitting on it, he sat behind it, against a big tree, with big hanging branches, which cast a nice shadow over Josh. He took a long, deep breath, and pulled the sleeves of his shirt over his hands, then he pulled his knee’s against his chest, and buried his face in his hands, allowing the sobs to break from his chest once more, only this time stronger, louder, and mixed with tears.

-X- After a few minutes of non-stop sobbing, Josh began to feel dizzy, and forced himself to calm down, which he managed, surprisingly. Even though he had managed to control his sobs, tears continued to fall down his cheeks. He had risked his friend ship with Matt, to tell Maggie how he felt. She felt the same way, but said she couldn’t be with him, because she didn’t want to come between him and Matt. Josh sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. She had come between him and Matt. She was always between him and Matt. Josh knew, that if Maggie ever did come back into his life, he wouldn’t be afraid to risk everything he had for her. And now, he had nothing. Nothing but a sharp pain in his nose, less clothes, and new shoes. New shoes, which would eventually have to use to walk all the way home in, since Matt had taken his car. Why had Matt taken his car? Did he not take another car to get there? Or had he walked? Josh shook his head, wondering why those things even crossed his mind. Neither Matt, or his transportation mattered. What mattered was that he had been so close to having everything he wanted, only to have it fall apart. He sighed and reached for his guitar case, which was still on the bench. When he had it securely in his hand, he pulled it towards him. He opened it up, and pulled out his lyric book, reading through every chord, lyric, and song he had ever written, since the very first day he had that book. He studied his writing, comparing it to his writing from when he was in grade 9, when he first got to the book. His writing had gotten neater, smaller, and less… ugly. He chuckled to himself as he read through the first complete song he’d ever written. He liked how stupid, and corny it sounded. He sighed as he realized just how much he missed the days where it was just him and Maggie. When his crappy writing, and lyrics didn’t matter. He missed being able to just sing, no matter how bad he was, and just being able to hang out and play his guitar with Maggie in her basement when her parents went out. He was suddenly hit with a wave of regret. He regretted being in the band, and touring. He regretted becoming famous, and going somewhere with his music. He regretted allowing Matt to drag him off without saying bye to Maggie, but most of all… He regretted ever letting Matt into his life. It was Matt who made things complicated, who had tried to take Maggie from Josh. Matt had really never wanted anything from Josh, only his friends and his lyrics.

-X- Josh suddenly felt angry. Matt had used him, and even though they did end up becoming real friends, Josh still couldn’t be sure of Matt’s reasoning. Was it for the fame? Or because he truly did want to be Josh’s friend. Matt had taken everything from Josh, until he was able to get things for himself. Most importantly, he had taken Maggie from him, and then when Josh tried to get her back, Matt decided that he didn’t owe Josh anything. Not even an understanding of Josh’s feelings, or Maggie’s for that matter. ”Let’s see just how well the band does without me…” Josh growled to himself, closing his lyric book. Then he sighed, and rubbed his eyes. The band would probably do fine without him, seeing as he was the cause of all the problems that were happening. Josh groaned and buried his face in his arms, which were crossed, and resting against his knee’s. More tears began to roll down’s Josh’s face, as he sat there. He wished everything would just fix itself, instead of him having to hide out in a park. He knew that the others would be furious when they find out what he did. Or at least Mike would be, and Josh wasn’t sure that he wanted to be in a house, where everyone hated him. He even hated himself, for causing everyone so much grief, heart ache and trouble. Josh sighed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, only looking up when he heard the hum of a car entering the park. He pulled his knee’s up against his chest tighter, and rested his forehead against his knee’s, so that it would be difficult to see him. He squished himself into a tight ball, as he heard a car door closed, and didn’t even breathe until he felt someone touching his shoulder. He looked up, his tear filled eyes meeting with Ian’s sympathetic one’s as he took in Josh’s blood and tear stained face. ”Matt came home dangerously angry… He found Maggie’s address on the kitchen counter, and then went to her house. He saw the car, but learned that she wasn’t home. He put two and two together… and found you.. That’s all I know” Ian said, sitting down beside Josh. ”I think I’m going to quit the band” Josh murmured, his voice thick, cracking at the end of his sentence. Ian’s eyes grew wide and he put his arm around Josh’s shoulder. ”Josh… Whatever happened… I’m sure you and him can move past it… Quitting the band would be giving up… Josh, you never give up. Why start now?” Ian said softly. Josh sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. ”But I did give up. I gave up on myself, as cliché as that sounds. I never believed in myself enough to get Maggie, while I still had her. I didn’t think I was good enough, so I just gave up, and allowed whatever happened, to happen. Then, when one part of my life finally went beyond my expectations, I decided I was finally ready to get the other part in order… But now I’ve ******** up both” Josh said. Ian sighed and leaned against the tree, thinking. ”What happened? Between Matt and you? Just now” Ian asked suddenly. Josh turned and looked at him, then back at the grass. ”I played my song for Maggie… And then told her how I felt. And then I kissed her, and that’s when Matt showed up” Josh said quietly. Ian smirked, but didn’t comment on what Josh had said. ”Then what?” Ian asked. Josh sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Then he forced me to stand up, look him in the eyes, and apologize. Which I did, without even thinking about it. Then he punched me.”

-X- Ian’s eyes widened as Josh said the last thing. ”Even though you said sorry? He still punched you? I mean… I know sorry doesn’t really make it up to him, but did he even let you explain? Explain your true feelings for her, or anything?” Ian asked, his voice mirroring the shock in his eyes. Josh nodded. ” I deserved it though…” Josh said sadly. Ian gasped and hit the side of Josh’s head lightly. ”You do not. You did the right thing Josh… She needed to know, and you followed your heart. If Matt doesn’t understand that, whatever to him. I understand that he’s mad now, but he’ll get over it.” Ian said. Josh nodded, and smiled at Ian. ”yeah… It’s going to be hard rooming with him though…” Josh sighed sadly, wishing he could have figured out another way to make Matt understand. Ian suddenly looked uncomfortable, and refused to look at Josh. ”What? What happened?” Josh asked, hoping he wasn’t being kicked out of the house. After all, they were still a band, even if Matt hated Josh. Ian took a deep breath and finally looked at Josh. ”Matt moved out of your room… He took a ton of your clothes to. He’s sharing with Mike now.” Ian explained. Josh tried to hide his disappointment, but obviously didn’t do it well. ”Oh… Well… Whatever” Josh said, feeling sad that he friend was really that mad at him, that he couldn’t even be in the same room. ”Hey Josh, don’t worry about it. It’s just Matt’s way of saying ‘I need some space’” Ian said soothingly. Josh pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. ”But Mike was on his side with this the whole time… It’s going to be like… two on two… The band will fall apart, and Maggie wont be with me, because she doesn’t want that to happen” Josh said. Ian sighed and bit his lip. ”Everything will work out Josh. I promise. I will make sure of it. The band wont fall apart, no matter what. We just have to take things slowly… Go through everything day by day and work on fixing and rebuilding…” Ian said, resting his arm on Josh’s shoulder. Josh sighed and nodded, knowing Ian was right. Josh was also a little bit happy that he was rooming with Ian. Ian seemed to be able to understand what Josh was going through, and acted as if he genuinely cared. Josh smiled at Ian, who smiled back and then stood up, holding his hand out to Josh. Josh took it and stood up as well, brushing grass off him bum with one hand, while clutching Maggie’s sweater in the other. Then Ian directed Josh to the fountain, and pointed to the water. ”Clean your face.” Ian said, smiling as Josh did what he was told without complaining. Then Josh dried his face on the sweater, and walked back to the car with Ian.

-X- Josh smiled as he slid into the passenger seat of the familiar white van, that they used to get around Vancouver, or places near Vancouver in. Josh buckled up and sighed as he looked out the window, watching as the van drove past all the places Josh knew, and then onto a dirt road, which Josh had never been on before. ”Hey um… Ian you’re going the wrong way” Josh said, looking around frantically. Ian laughed, but kept his eyes on the road. ”They got the bus back to Vancouver. They got the fire out before it destroyed everything, so they called, asking if one of us could come grab the stuff we thought we should keep. I asked Matt where you were, and thought I’d pick you up on the way. Grab whatever you could of Maggie’s as well” Ian said. ”Oh… Do you know how much of the bus got… Y’know?... Destroyed? If Matt took my clothes, I would kind of like to get some of my clothes back…” Josh muttered quietly. Ian laughed and looked at Josh for a moment before looking back at the road. ”He only took the stuff that you and him shared.” Ian said, causing Josh to roll his eyes. Shouldn’t Josh get at least some of the stuff they shared? ”But that’s like… Everything. He wore my clothes, I wore his. That’s how we worked’ Josh said sadly. Ian sighed and pulled into a large auto-shop parking lot, and turned off the ignition. ”Don’t worry Josh. Everything will be fine. You can borrow some of my clothes if you need to, until then” Ian said, before he climbed out of the van. ”Why would I want to wear your clothes?” Josh asked quietly, and sarcastically as he climbed out, causing Ian to begin laughing. Then they both walked in and smiled at the man who was busily scrubbing soot off the bus. ”Wow…” Josh said, looking at the one side of the bus that was almost completely black, and the other side which looks as if it hadn’t been touched. ”You can really see which side of the bus was targeted by flames. We got the whole thing supported inside, so it’s safe for you to go have a look around. Grab anything that you think it worth saving, otherwise we’re gonna just rip everything out, and pretty much rebuild the thing.” he said. Josh gasped. ”Wouldn’t it be easier to just buy a new bus?” he asked. The repair man shook his head and frowned. ”Nah. We’re giving you a discount, because you guys are famous and all. Plus, it’d be about double the price to buy a new one. This way, you’re pretty much only paying for the new furniture, and supplies. If you bought a new bus, you’d have to pay for the bus itself, the furniture, insurance on it, and stuff like that” the man said, wiping his hand on his overalls. Josh nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Okay, well go have a look see. Get whatever you can. We’ll save anything we think would be wasteful to throw out, but otherwise, you’re callin’ all the shots” He said, then went back to scrubbing the bus.

-X- Josh sighed as him and Ian climbed onto the bus. Josh stared at the floor as his shoes made squishing sounds in the wet carpet. Ian whistled as he took in the difference between the two sides of the bus. ”Maggie would have been dead, if you didn’t break the door down” Ian said quietly. ”Yeah…” Josh said in reply, running his fingers lightly against the wall which the fire had been on, grimacing as it left black marks on his finger tips. Then Josh stepped into the bedroom Maggie had been using, and felt his eyes fill with tears and he noticed little things around the now almost completely burned room. He noticed a few white dots scattered around the floor, remembering his freak out when he saw Maggie’s anti-depressants. He wiped his hand across his wet cheek as he stared at the door, which was still hanging off it’s bottom hinges. Then Josh opened the closet, and smiled to see that she had actually unpacked all her stuff. Little bits of certain clothes had burned away, but there was still a good amount of stuff left that went untouched. He stuck his head farther into the closet and pressed his face into one of her t-shirts. It smelt smoky, but still like Maggie. He slowly began pulling things off the rack, and organized the clothes into three groups. The stuff worth keeping, the stuff he would try to fix, and the stuff which was completely useless. Then he went through her draws, and sighed as he found almost everything charred. Then he pushed up the sleeves of his shirt, and got down onto his hands and knee’s and looked under the bed. He pushed a few pills out of the way, and then reached around until his hand landed on something solid. Josh continued to feel around, until he got a good grip on it, then pulled it out, gasping as he recognized Maggie’s guitar case. He opened it, and felt more tears build in his eyes as he saw that it was burned in a couple places, the strings were warped, and it had ashes from where the case had been burnt all over it. Josh sighed and closed the case once more, and slowly carried everything of Maggie’s out onto the pavement beside the van. ”Hey Josh, c’mere” Ian called from somewhere inside the bus. Josh sighed and jogged back on, still ignoring the squish of water under his feet. ”Where are you?” He called out. ”Upstairs” Ian called back. Josh nodded and ran up the small staircase, gasping as he saw Ian kneeling over his open suitcase. ”Is that mine?” Josh asked. Ian smiled at the excitement in Josh’s voice, and nodded. ”I guess you really didn’t need new clothes” Ian said, amused at how excited Josh was to see his clothes had survived the fire. ”Mine and Matt’s stuff survived also. Nothing of Mike’s made it though...” Ian said. ”A couple items of Maggie’s stuff made it through, and I’m going to try and fix some of it up, so that she doesn’t have to go out and buy new clothes. What about the equipment?” Josh asked. Ian zipped up Josh’s suitcase and stood up, handing the case to Josh. ”We got it out first. That stuff is worth a s**t load. It’s already back in the studio. Wasn’t even touched” Ian said. Josh smiled and nodded happily, then him and Josh made their way back through the van and loaded all the stuff they were keeping into the back. ”Thank you so much” Josh called to the man who was still scrubbing at the side of the bus, then climbed into the van, and stared out the window the whole way home.

-X- Josh carried all his stuff, matt’s stuff and Maggie’s stuff up the stairs, dropping his, and Maggie’s onto his bed. He took a moment to look at Matt’s empty half of the room, then sighed and carried Matt’s stuff to Ian’s old room. He knocked on the door, and suddenly felt sad as Matt called from the other side. Josh opened the door, and Matt immediately narrowed his eyes, and began shooting Josh with a pellet gun. ”Ow stop” Josh said, as one of the small plastic pellets his Josh in the side of the face. ”Go away. No traitors allowed. TERRORIST! TERRORIST!” Matt began to yell. Josh narrowed his eyes and stepped in farther, dropping Matt’s suitcase. Matt stopped shooting the pellets at Josh and sat up on the bed. ”Is that mine?” Matt asked. Josh nodded, then stepped into the closet, only to be shot with pellets again. He pulled the leather jacket him and Matt shared off the wrack, and tucked it under his arm. ”And this is mine” Josh said, then walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Then he walked into his and Ian’s room and hung the jacket up, smiling as Ian came in and stood beside him. ”You really like that jacket, don’t you?” Ian asked. Josh smiled and nodded, then unpacked his clothes, then got out a small sewing kit Josh’s mother had given them, in case they needed to fix stuff, and began working on fixing Maggie’s clothes. Josh huffed as he stabbed himself with the needle for maybe the 10th time, causing Ian to start laughing. ”You suck at that” Ian said, still laughing. Josh glared at Ian, then went back to fixing the hem on a shirt, which had been burnt a little bit at the bottom. Josh smiled when he finally finished working on the clothes and held them up for Ian to look at. ”Can you tell that they were even in a fire?” Josh asked. Ian shook his head, and then raised an eyebrow at Josh. ”You wouldn’t be fixing her clothes as a way to suck up to her, are you?” Ian asked. Josh’s eyes grew wide, and his shook his head quickly. ”Not at all. I just thought it would be a nice thing to do. Say um… Where do we keep our extra guitar strings?” Josh asked, throwing Maggie’s clothes into a laundry basket with a few other things Josh wanted to wash. ”In the music room downstairs.” Ian said. Josh nodded and picked up the basket, then walked down to the basement, and started up the laundry, then searched through all the packs of extra guitar strings until he found one’s that would fit Maggie’s guitar. Then he grabbed surface polisher and a rag, and headed back upstairs and began unstringing Maggie’s guitar, not looking up even though he could feel Ian’s eyes on him.

-X- Once Josh had finally finished taking Maggie’s warped strings off the guitar, he sprayed both the guitar, and the rag with surface polisher, and began rubbing at the guitar, smiling as the guitar went from black, to its original colour. ”nice” Ian said, as Josh continued scrubbing at the surface of the guitar. ”I know. It’s such a nice guitar. I have one like it, but Maggie’s is prettier.” Josh murmured, as he opened the package of strings. Ian laughed and stood up, to help Josh restring the guitar, without Josh poking his eye out. Josh smiled when they were done, and jumped as someone knocked on the door. Josh smiled as Mike opened it, but frowned when Mike completely ignored him. ”Someone’s laundry is done. I threw it into the dryer about an hour ago… Just so you know” Mike said to Ian, then closed the door. Josh sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. ”Does everyone hate me now?” Josh asked. Ian sighed and put the guitar carefully into one of Josh’s guitar cases, which Josh wasn’t using. ”He doesn’t know everything. I’ll talk to him, while you bring these to Maggie.” Ian said. Josh nodded as Ian walked out, then stood up and ran down the stairs to get the laundry, which he then folded, and placed into a plain box, with a couple of other things he’d saved from Maggie’s room. Then he put on a small bit of lip balm, and quickly wrote a little note, which said;

Maggie. I saved these things from the bus. I hope the guitar works the same, I tried to make sure I used the right strings.
Love you. – Josh

Then he kissed the piece of paper, smiling as the lip balm left a small, almost invisible mark, which could only be seen in a certain light. Then he put the note gently into the box, on top of all the other stuff. Josh put the lid on tight, and tied a ribbon around it, so that it wouldn’t open, and then picked up the box and the guitar and carried them out to the black car, which Matt had luckily left unlocked. Josh opened the glove compartment, and pulled out the keys, then started the ignition and began his drive to Maggie’s house, once again. When he arrived, he carried his things carefully, walking so that his shoes didn’t make any noise on the ground, and placed the two of them in front of the door. Josh took a deep breath, and rang the door bell, running back to the car, and hopping in. Josh smiled as he drove away, looking behind him to see that he had gotten out of site, before the door even opened.

[--x sweet whispers]

╔═════════════════════╗

мαɢɢιє кαтняιиє нσℓтs

╚═════════════════════╝

⋆

I'm still stuck here while you're out there.
You've forgotten probably yet I remember ever detail.
You took my heart without knowing so now I'm broken,
shattered down inside.

It was only a matter of time before I fell in love with him a little while longer before he was gone.

⋆

♥ ♥ ℳy ℍeart's story starts ℋere...

♪♫ Maggie just walked along the sidewalk towards town, not noticing anything around her but the sound of her feet hitting the ground beneath her. She was practically dead in her mind and that was how she felt, it was hard for her to understand how those words even managed to come out of her mouth, how she completely rejected Josh because of excuses that they could get through. Why was life so difficult? Why couldn't she just tell Josh that she loved him and leave it at that? Everything was blurred, everything was failing, everything was just fading away to Maggie. At that moment she felt so alone and all she wanted to do was turn around and run back to Josh. But it wouldn't happen like that, she couldn't face Josh after what had just happened, after what she had just said to him, unless she knew for sure that everything would turn out alright, that everything would all work together. Maggie let a sigh out as she continued on down the road, passing by people without even giving one glance to them. What bothered Maggie the most was how she spent nearly 5 years secretly loving Josh thinking that he would never return the feelings yet the whole time he had loved her also, just not as long as Maggie. A smile crept onto her lips as she walked into a cafe and asked for a table. Once she was seated and had her coffee she looked out to the town and finally spoke something. "You hide things so well Josh, you even managed to fool me..." Her voice came out soft and quiet, her lips barely moving from their original position as she brought her coffee to her lips and took a small sip before placing it back down. Why wasn't she able to pick up that Josh had loved her? Was he really that good at hiding it? Thinking back to the past Maggie realized that Josh had never left a clue, a hint, nothing to show how he felt other than best friends. He always acted like her best friend even when Maggie was practically yelling out to Josh how she felt about him.

♪♫ Sighing the girl looked down at the menu in front of her before ordering and wandering back into her thoughts when the lady left. What would have happened if Josh and Maggie admitted their feelings to each other back when high school was going on? Would Josh and Matt had even become friends? Maybe, but the band would have never gotten together since Josh would have always been with Maggie more. So much more would change if that one little moment had occurred, if one of them had just spoken up sooner none of this would have happened but would that have been a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe all of this was supposed to happen, her meeting up with the guys again, her dating Matt, her touring with them, the fire, the hospital, and what had just happened earlier today, maybe it was all connected to bring one outcome that everyone would be satisfied with. Maybe there was a way for Josh and Maggie to finally be together while keeping everything else the same. Maggie was suddenly knocked out of her thoughts when the table moved from underneath her arms and she heard the sound of a chair moving. Looking up Maggie met eyes with a tall boy with black hair who appeared to be maybe a few years older then herself. "So how is it that a girl like you knows a guy like Josh Ramsay?" The boy's voice rang out hard, cold, and simply sinister as he sat down across from Maggie and gave her a twisted smile. Inside Maggie was freaking out, completely going insane, but outside Maggie was calm and collective as she tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner. "I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about. Are you sure you have the right girl?" Her voice was practically the opposite of the boy's, it was so calm and sweet with an innocent edge to it that almost seemed like she could actually be an angel. The boy blinked a bit before he turned away and looked around then met eyes with Maggie again. He pulled out a camera and took a quick photo of Maggie which earned him a glare before she sighed and took another sip of her coffee. "Oh come on, I saw you with Josh Ramsay at the secluded garden not too far from here."

♪♫ Questions rang around through Maggie's head. How could he have seen them? What would happen now? What should she do? Why did she let her guard down around town? Why couldn't Josh come to her rescue this time? Maggie suddenly stopped thinking for a moment, the boy staring at her the whole time while she had her coffee cup halfway between the table and her mouth. She had figured it all out, or at least most of it. She knew now what she needed to do and it was all coming so clear too that it she was surprised of how simple it all really was. It would take time though, lots of time but it would all work out eventually...hopefully, Maggie still had her doubts about everything. Coming back to reality she took the last sip of her coffee and ordered another one before looking directly at the boy across from her with a small smile on her lips. "We're childhood friends." She replied simply before thanking the lady who brought her coffee. Maggie's answer seemed to perplex the boy as he dug through his bag and pulled out a notebook then flipped through it a bit before writing something down. "Well that's interesting, Josh has never mentioned having a childhood friend besides Matt." Maggie simply rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I asked him not too mention me, I didn't want my life being ripped apart by a bunch of greedy reporters but you guys would find out sooner or later so I'm telling you instead of you hearing it from someone else." She paused for a moment, making sure she really wanted to do this before she nodded her head with a smile and looked back up to the boy. "What's your name?" She asked politely while her eyes scanned the crowds of people all over the place. The boy looked surprised yet again when Maggie turned back to him but he recovered quickly and pulled a smirk onto his lips. "My name is Damien and I'm a reporter for one of the many gossip shows on t.v. at night. All I want is the main story and anything juicy, anything that will benefit both of us." Maggie raised an eyebrow and shook her head softly. "How is this supposed to benefit me in anyway?" She asked in a curious tone to see if the boy could actually thinking of a reason. Of course he couldn't and he just laughed. "You're right it wouldn't benefit you at all, now on with the story."

♪♫ Maggie told the boy almost everything, she left out the bad and only mentioned up until high school ended otherwise everything else was staying with her, she'd die before anyone found out what happened to her when Josh left. The story just seemed really boring to Maggie as she made it into a sweet and caring story but Damien seemed like he couldn't get enough of it, he was eating the story up as if this was the best thing he had ever heard and who knows, maybe it was, maybe it would be a story that would get him far into his career. By the end of the whole story Damien was leaning back in his chair, working out a cramp in his hand while Maggie was nibbling on a muffin that she had ordered not too long ago. Damien kept his eyes on Maggie, watching her as if she was a new species of life that he had just discovered. The blond simply raised an eyebrow to the boy before leaning towards the table and brushing the crumbs off her and calling the waiter over to take her stuff and to get her check. "Well everyone back at the station will love to hear this story, I can't wait to turn it in! Everyone has been looking for something new to report about Marianas Trench." Damien finally spoke as he gathered up his stuff and placed it all into his bag. Maggie turned away from the boy and looked out to the street again before she finally spoke once more. "What happens to you if you get a really good story?" She asked suddenly as Damien looked at her with a confused face. "Either a promotion to something else or a lot of money, it all depends on how well written the story is, how great it is, and if the viewers will love it." Damien didn't ask why Maggie had asked such a question but he watched her again, noting every little moment she made before she stood up and paid for the meal then walked over to Damien. She simply smiled at him before leaning down and whispering into his ear then she casually walked off till she was already halfway down the block with Damien chasing after her. Finally the boy managed to reached her, taking a minute to catch his breath, then he asked a question concerning what she had told him not too long ago. His face was lit up with shock and amusement as he took out his notebook. "Who's Josh's girl? What's her name and where can I find her?" Maggie laughed and shook her head lightly before taking his notebook and putting it in his bag for him so he wouldn't take any notes. "Me, Maggie, and nowhere." With that said she was gone, already completely out of sight as she made her way to her home.

♪♫ Maggie raced back to her home, going as fast as she could down the street. She avoided people, she tried not to get hit by cars and she went on and on passing everything till she was able to finally see her home. Moving faster she made it to her door and unlocked it, feeling the complete safeness of her home once she was inside with the door closed. Smiling to herself she walked on in and grabbed Shadow, petting the kitten for a while before she made her way upstairs and into her room where she changed her clothes to a purple tank-top and jean shorts and brushed her hair, placing it all in a ponytail. For some reason she was feeling happier, she had the feeling that everything would work out in the end and hopefully it would or else she would totally sink into her depression. It dawned on Maggie then, the anti-depressants. Josh had seen them and Maggie never got a chance to talk to him about that. She placed it down on her mental to-do list as she made her way down the stairs to the kitchen where she grabbed a Coke from the refrigerator and also chocolate bar from one of the cabinets. Maggie sat up on the counter and ate her food before she stopped and looked around for a moment. Everything seemed to be better, everything seemed to look better and feel better. This whole time Maggie had been trapped in the back of her mind, almost insane but now she felt different, she felt like things would be right and she wouldn't be hurt anymore, the fact that Josh was finally going to be her's was just exhilarating for Maggie. Its something that she wanted for so long and something that she came close to giving up on but now she knew the truth, now she knew that she belonged with Josh and nothing would break them apart now. A knock on the door sent Maggie out of her thoughts and with a curious look on her face she walked over to the door and opened it, looking around to find no one before she looked on the ground and spotted the stuff laid out in front of the door. Smiling she lifted the box and guitar case, closing the door after she had brought the stuff in, and she placed everything out on the kitchen table. First she opened the guitar case and a childish smile ran through her lips as she skimmed her fingers lightly across her guitar. Her eyes shifted to the box as she opened it and looked through it, realizing that it was all the stuff that had been on the bus during the fire. She was happy, happier than she had ever been in a long time. Her fingers hit the note inside the box so she pulled it out and read through it, instantly dropping it and running for her car keys before heading out the door and off she went.

♪♫ Maggie was in control of everything now, she wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in the way now. With a determined look on her face she drove along down till she reached the band's place and she parked on the curb before getting out and spotting all the cars there which was exactly what she needed. Walking to the door she took hold of the handle quietly and frown when she noticed it was lock but a smile soon filled her lips as she pulled out a hairpin and proceeded to unlock the door. Once she got a satisfying click from the door she nodded in approval and quickly walked into the apartment, closing the door quietly before running off. First she found Mike, giving him a smile she simply took hold of his hand and pulled him on over to the living room, making him sit down before she went on and did the same to Ian. Sighing Maggie went on the find Matt, he would be the hardest to get through but she didn't care at that moment. Finding him in his room she walked over to him and smiling down sweetly at him before taking hold of his hand and pulling him along also, ignoring any protests that he was making as she sat him down beside Mike. "Stay Matt." Maggie warned the boy before she went off to Josh. She found him easily and stayed quiet for a moment before she walked over to him and hugged him from behind before slipping around him till they were face to face. "I'm not going to allow anything to break us apart again." Those words were the only thing that came from her mouth before she kissed Josh lightly and took hold of one of his hands before she pulled him along also towards everyone else. Now was when Maggie started to get nervous but she just took a deep breath and looked up at Josh who she kept a firm hold of behind her. "Things have gotten complicated for everyone since I came back into Josh's life and I didn't know till after things started to get bad how much of an impact I would have on your lives. So much has happened, so much that I wish I could fix but know I can't. Mike and Matt, you two need to stop acting like little kids and realize that you have an amazing friendship with Ian and Josh, a friendship that I know both of you don't want to lose. Ian, I have to say thank you to you for supporting Josh otherwise things would probably be a lot worst. Josh, you need to rebuild your friendship with Matt, I will not allow either of you to just sit by and stay mad at each other. Most importantly though I need all of you to understand that I've loved Josh since I was 13, so practically 5 years and now that I know he feels that same I'm not going to let him get away from me again. All of you need to make up and be nice to each other so the band stays together in one piece and you also need to accept the fact that me and Josh will be together whether people like it or not." Maggie let out a sigh as she kept her eyes to the ground, everything didn't make sense to her but she hoped the boys would at least understand most of it.