It's War You'll Get

[owonyankosensei]

YOU THINK IM PRETTY WITHOUT ANY MAKE UP ON
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you thinkxxxxxxim funnyxxxxxxwhen ixxxxxxtell thexxxxxxpunchline wrongxxxxxxi knowxxxxxxyou getxxxxxxme soxxxxxxi letxxxxxxmy wallsxxxxxxcome down

s h e felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. In her life so consumed with hell, she had never felt emptier. Even half asleep as Erik toted her body through the house she felt numb. But it wasn’t the comfortable ‘I don’t feel anything’ numb. It was the numb that left her breathless. It left her body stiff and hollow. It made her feel like she was missing limbs and lying bent and contorted on the ground. Even in her partially asleep state she dreamed. She dreamed violent things, far too vivid for them to be anything but dreams. Frankie knew better though. They were her memories, rehashed and thrown into her mind for her to remember. Forced her to relive them even. Her body had resorted to doing things it hadn’t done in months. Her hands shook, her body barely containing the electricity that hummed right under her skin. It burned, making her body heat up to a temperature it didn’t normally sit at. The creaks of the stairs entered her dreams, filling the lab room with loud metal scratches and two blades scraped against each other. Her eyes darted about behind her eyelids.

When Erik’s arms, laid her down on the bed she roused slightly. Her eyes fluttered and she looked over at his disappearing frame as he went out the door way. She would have gotten up and gone to take a shower had she felt like it. Honestly she just hadn’t though. Frankie knew she was covered in dirt from laying on the ground. She knew a shower would do her some good and maybe wake her up. Not energy wise but numbness wise. But did she really want to? No. You could not have paid her enough to get out of bed. Instead she had curled her body up into a ball and shut her heavy eyes. She thought she may have dozed off again. If she had it was only slightly. Her legs were far too cold for her to fall completely back asleep. They were the kind of cold that hurt. Then again, that could just be her body’s way of telling her she wasn’t right. That something was severely wrong with her and she didn’t know how to fix it. The more she thought about it the more she realized that the rest of her hurt. She felt like she had been beaten, thrown around and eventually had the butt of an assault rifle slammed down into her face.

Frankie kept her eyes shut and her body still when the door popped open. There was part of her that worried it was someone like Lorelei or even Alex. She knew Alex would wake her up though. He’d wake her up and tell her to go down stairs and eat. She wouldn’t. The thought of food just made her stomach churn. The footsteps against the floor were loud, echoing around in her head at nearly deafening levels. She knew it was ridiculous that it was that loud. She knew there was no way that they were that loud. Between the fear of the person staying in the room and the way her body was throwing itself into a funk thanks to her lack of control it was too much. They didn’t do anything though. They sat down. She forced an eye open, letting it drift over to where he sat. The frown returned to her lips. Why was he crying? He shouldn’t be sad. Yet he was. He was crying. Frankie let her body stretch out slightly before lifting up one of her arms to reach for him. He didn’t need to be crying.

The girl opened her eyes completely when he turned to look at her. Her bottom lip shook when he said his words. So that’s what he was talking about. Noah. Frankie took a deep breath, trying to say something to some logical stand point about why he shouldn't be sorry but all that came out was a squeak. She could feel the wet tracks on his face from where he had been crying. His head and hand were the only thing keeping her much smaller hand from shaking as her eyes started to well up. The pad of her thumb ran across the damp skin under it, taking up some of the moisture with it.

Then it happened. Her fingers curled up against his skin as the first sob ripped free from her chest. Her already raw throat burned and her lungs started to pain her again as the air got harder to take in. She hadn't cried when she was asleep. She hadn't at all. the sadness had still been there but she hadn't cried. Why did she have to wake up? Why did Erik have to put her down? he could have just left her in the car to sleep. She would have stayed out cold that way. But eventually she would have had to wake up. Eventually she would have had this moment again. maybe Tian wouldn't have been there but she would have started crying again. Frankie had never been someone who cried. Over the years she had been but only in times when there was nothing else she could do but cry in pain. In agony. In hopelessness. Frankie retracted her hand away from him, curling herself up tightly and placing her head in her hands. She didn't want him to see her like this. This was too close to who she was. This was far too close to the shattered and empty...thing that made up her. No matter how much she wanted to roll off the bed and into his arms she just couldn't. It wasn't who she was. She hadn't been comforted by anyone but Sean and Noah when she was younger. At that, all they could ever do was sit in the room with her and watch her cry.

She wanted him to hug her though. She wanted to be able to have that. Frankie knew she was never going to be able to ask for it though. There were things in her life she could do, like offer comfort to others, to have fun with people, please other people but she could not do the same for herself. She could not ask for things that would make her happy or feel better. She had been raised to not do that. Raised under the singular belief that she wasn't worth that. The thoughts running rampant through her mind didn't help her stop crying. They made her cry harder. Frankie didn't have to ask him to do anything. He did it himself. One moment he was sitting there on the floor and the next moment he was crawling up there with her. She lifted her head high enough to catch him doing it. Had she not been crying at that moment the sound that came out of her mouth would have been far more reminiscent of a laugh than it actually was. That had been what it was supposed to be. It was just so covered by the sobs wracking her body that it just came out as another one of them. Frankie rolled over to face him, burying her head against his chest. Her hands knotted in the fabric of his shirt tight enough that her knuckles were starting to turn white. "Azazel he he he-" She wanted to say it. She wanted to admit that her brother was dead and he wasn't coming back.

"It's not fa..fair." Azazel had taken her only family away from her. She'd always known that years from now she could have shown up on her brother's doorstep and they would have gone back to being a family again. But she couldn't do that anymore. "He was my brother. Mine. And now..now.." Frankie stopped talking for a minute, trying to stop gasping for air. She lifted one of her hands from his shirt to her face, roughly fisting the tears today. "And all i wanted to do was go and ge-get that stupid costume with, with, you. But this happened and i don't want to cry anymore and i don't want you to either. But i know i am and if one of us could just not that'd make me feel better," she choked out between tears. she had rushed the words out, knowing that when she opened her mouth to do anything the chances of the sobs coming back full force. Frankie bit down on her lip, quieting the sounds. She kept her forehead pressed up against his chest and her eyes squeezed tightly shut. The hand that had been wiping the tears away from her face moved to wrap around his body, pulling her body closer to his. It was an awful feeling laying there, full well being able to put her hands on another human being and still feeling utterly alone and abandoned. Frankie knew it wasn't true. She couldn't fight the thoughts off though. No. She wasn't strong enough for that. Never had been and never would be.



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mod her all you want. i know it's probably not much to reply to.
clothes

[owonyankosensei]

h e didn’t want her to touch him. He wanted her to go away and leave him to do what he always did. Erik dealt. He knew how to do it for himself and he didn’t want to be getting dragged into some fit because of her touching him. Erik had never been comforted. His mother had been the only one to do it and he wasn’t about ready to start. Charles was his closest friend and he had learned to not get into being part of Erik and his problems. Especially nto when they were related to what this was related to. Never before had he had his own problems so violently thrown into his face. In those hours sitting out in that park she would speak sparingly. When she would she would tell him those fears that had so deeply rooted themselves into his chest and heart. People like them deserved nothing less than what they had previously received. They carried no other rights than to suffer. Erik was going beyond what he should do. He had no right to seek the revenge that he did. Yet Erik was alive and he needed something to do. He needed something to give him purpose. He needed something to get himself to sleep at night.

The tendions in his neck became defined as his body stiffened, his arm locking into place. His hand was wrapped around the glass, his eyes focused on it. The more she spoke the quicker the dive of his mood took. The silverware on the table rattled as he focused himself on them and not on her. Ignore her but don’t offend her. He didn’t want that on his mind too. If she got mad at him than he really would have to deal with her. His flesh burned underneath his shirt, the blood humming in his veins. The last person he touched had fought him tooth and nail to get him to let her go. Was this the feeling he had put her through? No wonder she had almost punched him in the nose. “It would be good to learn that you cannot loose what you don’t have,” he explained, his tone even and his attitude cool. He made himself relax his arm enough to bring the half full cup back up to his lips. The cold – hot liquid ran down the back of his throat, slipping down into what felt like his heart.

The man sat the glass down, taking the bottle instead and pulling himself up out of the chair. His feet were steady beneath him, even as his mind was far from it. Part of him wanted to yell about how awful humans were. How they always were where they weren’t needed. This problem hadn’t been started by a human. It’d been a mutant. Azazyl had brought this out in the red head because he had ripped her brother apart without mercy. The cruelty was not just in one race but it was in both. Mutants could be far harsher than humans though. So many of them had been subjected to horrible lives. He and few others in the house were good examples of it. They had not been broken by the hands of mutants. They had been beaten into submission by the powerless. They were cats allowing themselves to be controlled by rats. They were the top of the food chain and yet they could not be treated as so. They were mistakes. Blemishes on this planet. Erik’s feet moved across the floor, leading him into the living room.

He walked between two chairs for a moment, stopping in front of each one of them once. He was trying to figure out what he was doing. Should he sit or drink? Should he do both? What Erik wanted to do was plow through town after town leaving nothing but dust in his wake. The more he thought about it the more angry he found himself at this world. It wasn’t because of her. He didn’t care about her that much. Her situation only brought to light what his feelings about himself were. Things he had refused to face had been made to be looked at. The man ddn’t sit down. He leaned a hand against the frame of the window and looked out to the car he had left not too long ago. “Isn’t it sick?” he muttered, the space between his eyebrows scrunching up lightly before a laugh escaped out of his mouth. “The ones you love are always the first to the slaughter. It never seems to be easy. A shot to the head. Disembowelment.”

Erik shook his head and looked down at the bottle in his hands for a moment before bringing the glass container up to his lips and tipping it back. After letting out a sigh he admitted what Frankie had told him. That it was all their fault the people they loved were dead or had abandoned them. They weren’t good enough and when they died it was their fault. They weren’t strong enough to stop it from happening. “Frankie told me that the worst part was that no matter what we ever did in our lives that we would die alone. We would ruin the lives of the people around us and leave ourselves alone.” Well, it was a summary of what she said. It’d been sometime between her statements but she would spew information out randomly between the heavy sobs. He wasn’t surprised that she had cried herself to sleep. He was just surprised he was injured and seriously at that. She was a dangerous woman.

Looking back Erik was mildly surprised to see her. He had expected himself to be talking to no one but him. Yet there she was. He highly doubted she was making too many assumptions on what’d really been going on with Frankie’s entire life. HE knew for a fact the young woman hadn’t told anyone but him, Charles and Alex about it but that had only been when the situation had called for it. She didn’t want the lifestyle the came from being known as the torture victim. Either you were pitied or you were like Erik. Neither were something that were particularly enjoyable. It was like being excluded within a minority. Charles treated erik different when they were alone. HE treaded lightly around certain subjects. He took care to not offend or to strike cords that didn’t need to be struck. Raven had learned to be careful of that. Not that he saw much of her now. He avoided her. Certainly now that the missile crisis was over. There was no reason for them to be around each other. Espeically not now that he had this..infatuation with Lorelei.

Erik removed himself from the window and sat down in his chair. The bottle clicked against the side table as he sat it down. The mans long body leaned out in the chair allowing him a comfortable position to look out the window. “tell me, why is happiness such an important thing? It’s never been the first thing on my mind.” True at some point in his life he wished to be happy. Then he had escaped Shaw’s grasp and found new reasons. He hadn’t dreamed of happiness since. Only revenge. He thought it was fine to think that way. Of course, Charles gave him some psychological rundown over it and told him it was because he was damaged that he didn’t’ think of them that much but somewhere deep down inside he longed to be happy. So far Erik hadn’t unlocked that part of his subconscious.

He supposed that it was true that people longed for happiness. It was one of those things that plagued them on a day to day basis. Some great goal in life was to be happy. Erik was sure that they could figure out how to be happy if they wanted to put the effort in. Then again, perhaps he was just tired of listening to hank and raven complain about how unhappy they were. There was only so much he could take and he had breached the limit several conversations ago. While Lorelei had been unconscious things had been tense in the house to say the least. Raven however, had taken it upon herself to gather pity and love, mainly from him. Without Charles Erik would have shoved her face down into a bowl of the previous night’s spaghetti. Why he had thought it was a good idea to sleep with her was beyond him. Perhaps that little bit of reasoning was hiding with his longing for happiness.

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not a lot of words. dangit.but lots of thoughts. fingers crossed we can get on some form of roll with this. that'd be cool. i'd imagine that my posts would eventually find some good balance that would make them easier to reply to.

[RiverDaNile]

⊰ ★ ⊱ GIVE ME A WORD AND GIVE ME A SIGN !! ◞

SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY

●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●

★ LOVE IS IN THE WATER && LOVE IS IN THE AIR !!
★ SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK && TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE !!

Christian knew that he wasn't going to be much help. Frankie had just lost Noah; her brother; a brother who, despite it all still loved her more than anything. The possibility of them being closer in the future had been stripped from her and it left her feeling raw and hollow. Tian could….somewhat understand this feeling. He had to merely imagine what it would feel like if he lost his father before they had a chance to make up. He would be devastated. As much as Tian and his father didn't get along, that didn't mean he didn’t love his father any less.
Climbing into bed with Frankie seemed like a better idea than just simply sitting down on the floor. He wasn't being of any comfort down there, and he hoped that he could make her feel somewhat better.
As he held the smaller female to him, Tian could feel the pain in his chest swell. He wished he could take all of her pain away. Tian knew that this was probably one of these most devastating moments in her life; she had already been through so much; so much that numbed her to a lot of other things, but made her also extremely vulnerable. Frankie was vulnerable. He understood this; she was raw; she was in pain, and it was something she had always lived with. No matter the smile on her face when she was around him. She was always hurting. And Tian had failed in keeping that smile there. It made it difficult to hold back the soft cry that erupted from his chest. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. Not in the least.

"I know, Frankie, I know," Tian pulled her closer to him, resting his head gently upon hers, giving her head a soft kiss. If only he could be of more help than this. Really, right now? All he wanted to do was find Azazyl and make him pay for killing Frankie's brother. Crush his brain and his insides while holding him in one place and wait till he was dead before letting go. But killing him wouldn't bring Noah back, nor would it do any good. There would simply be another person dead. Even if Tian was internally very okay with this idea, he wouldn't do it. However, if he ever saw Azazyl again in combat, he'd show the man no mercy.
"If my mutation was to bring people back from the dead, you'd know I'd die a million times over to bring him back," If only he could. If only Tian could do something like that. Tian would die as many times as he needed in order to bring people back from the dead. He'd bring back his mother, Noah, even Gabriel so that Tian could help his brother be a better man. But things like that just simply couldn't happen; mutations or not, people weren't brought back from the dead. They would never be the people they were before they died. And Tian understood this. As much as he would of given up everything to bring those people back; for both their sakes, he knew it couldn't happen. However, Tian was thankful he still had Frankie. Even if she was currently broken and in much need of mending. Tian was thankful for her.

Sniffing a moment, Tian reached up and wiped the tears from his face and tried to hold them back. She wanted him to stop. And he'd try. Really he would. It's just…so hard.
"I'm sorry, Francine, I'll try, I just," It was difficult. So very difficult to get over the feeling. "I hate knowing I've failed you too…" Tian buried his face into Frankie's hair, uncaring about the dirt or anything that might be there from her laying it in. "You deserve to be happy. After everything you've been through, you deserve so much more than you're given. And I wanted to….I wanted to stop anymore bad things from happening, but I couldn't. I can't. I couldn't with mom. I couldn't with Gabriel, or Andria, or those kids on the bus," It was almost weird how Tian suddenly felt a need to express his feelings like this. He tried to stop his crying, but in the end they just fell silently. "I couldn't save them…I couldn't protect them; even with these powers, and I can't protect you. I hate knowing that…I hate it. Because you deserve someone to protect you; keep you happy. You deserve it," Tian held the smaller woman closer to him. "And I wish I could be that someone…"



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I would have made it longer, but where it ended seemed oh so damned perfect. yay for random muse! But now Im off to Paulina's I'll write for Lorelei tonight or tomorrow. Depending on how s**t goes. xD I'm glad I got this out though. Woo. Tian feels..







◟ WHOA, HEAVEN LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE DOWN ⊰ ★ ⊱

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TEACH ME HOW TO SPEAK && TEACH ME HOW TO SHARE

TELL ME WHERE TO GO & TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE ?

[RiverDaNile]

L O R E L E I lifted her head and hand upon feeling the tension in Erik's muscles. Okay, so don't touch him. He didn't want to be touched. That was fine. Some people were like that. Lorelei, depending upon the situation, could be like that. Most of the time, however, she liked the comfort so she simply was going off of what she knew she liked. But finding he was the opposite, Lorelei respected that.
His comment made her frown though. That wasn't true; if he was referring to himself, then that certainly wasn't true.
"You still have yourself," Lorelei spoke lightly. "It's there. I've seen it. Not as often as I'd like, I'll admit that, but I've seen it," Lorelei leaned back a bit as she watched him drink more of the alcohol. Her motherly instincts simply wanted to take the beverage away from him. It wasn't good to drink while you were upset. That was like asking to be an alcoholic, but Erik was a grown man. She shouldn't baby him. He didn't like it. So she tried desperately not to do it.
Watching Erik stand, Lorelei simply waited a moment, pondering over in her mind if it was a good idea to follow him or not. Did he want her there? Honestly…she couldn't tell. Probably not. But just in case, she followed anyway, leaning herself merely in the doorway of the room he placed himself in.
He commented on the people you loved, and how they were first to go. That seemed about true. Lorelei lost her parents in a car crash when she was younger.

"Happens to the best of us," Was her only comment. Lorelei hadn't quite lost her parents in the same aspect as Erik, or lost a brother like Frankie had; they weren't murdered. Not in that same sense, but life certainly had a way of taking people from her as well. Listening to him made her heart hurt. Not just for Frankie, but for him too. It was a shame that these two people; wonderful in their own right, were thinking such negatively. They had been wounded beyond recognition by the hands of others, and Lorelei didn't see how either of them deserved the darkness that surrounded their lives. Even if Lorelei had little to nothing to go on when it came to Frankie, it was obvious she had been through some traumatic experiences. Erik watched out for Frankie for a reason. Lorelei knew this. She didn't quite understand it all, but she wanted to help. But how? She didn't see how she could at all. Which was always so frustrating. Lorelei had no idea how to comfort Erik. Her insides screamed to merely go over and seat herself in his lap and hug him until he felt better. But Lorelei knew better; he didn't want that. He didn't want to be touched. She'd hold onto her motherly affections for another time.
"I don't believe that," Her voice was barely a whisper. Her blue eyes moving from him to the floor and back again. "I don't believe that at all. You haven't ruined my life, Erik. Nor has Frankie," A light smile pulled onto her lips. "Quite the opposite, actually," she left it there. She didn't want to say too much and overstep any boundaries she had.

Lorelei blinked a moment, following Erik's movements as he sat himself down. His comment about happiness brought another pain to hit her chest. Why? Lorelei didn't understand how people deserved such a life; such sadness. Neither Erik or Frankie deserved what they got. Though she knew more on Erik's situation than Frankie's. Still, both of them deserved happiness.
"Everyone deserves to be happy," She spoke lightly, moving over to him from the door way. For a moment she reached out to touch him, but quickly recoiled her hand, changing her mind. Remember; he didn't want to be touched right now.
Lacing her fingers together, Lorelei looked around a moment, her mind trying to find something to occupy her fingers with. "You and Francine deserve happiness because it's been so scarce in your lives," Lorelei sat herself down at the piano bench instead and tried to think more on how to word herself. "Happiness belongs to everyone. It's just unfortunate that not everyone seems to be allowed to feel it on more than one or two occasions, simply because of life's circumstances," At this time Lorelei placed her fingers down onto the piano keys and simply let them gently glide across the keys, her mind aware of what she wanted to play. It felt good to sit there and play something. She'd admit, keeping her fingers occupied with piano was a lot easier to do than simply sitting down and trying to be more comforting to Erik. Obviously that wasn't going to work. There was a lot of work to be done with the man. He needed reassurance. He needed to have these things repeated to him. After a life such as his, it was something that didn't come as a surprise to Lorelei. Was it still hard for her to hear? Yes, of course. She cared about him.

She'd admit it aloud if she had to, but she did. It was almost difficult not to. In a way Erik deserved her attention more than most. He hadn't had love or kindness from many people after his mother was killed. And that simply wasn't fair. He hadn't done anything deserve that fate; neither had his mother. Why was it always the better ones? Merely thinking about how Erik might have turned out if he hadn't been so hurt made her heart hurt. She didn't pity him. That was different. She merely wished he had gotten all that he deserved, instead of having it all taken from him.
"And people who can put up with me deserve everything they want," She smiled a bit, looking back over at Erik for a moment. She was trying to make a light joke. Really, Lorelei knew she could be a pain in the a**. She had done quite a bit wrong. Lorelei went quite after that, continuing to play the piano lightly; soft, soothing melodies. Lorelei didn't know what else to do.
"If you want me to go, you merely just have to tell me. I understand if you want to be alone," Lorelei finally brought words to the front. Really, she didn't know what else to do. If he wanted to be alone, then Lorelei didn't want to stop him. Some things were better dealt with alone.
#99a5b8 - blue || #774a49 - brown


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Outfit

[the meaning of rabbits]

Frankie pushed her hands against his chest, pushing her body away from his. Failed her? was he really so self hating that he had it warped that he had failed her? What obligations had he ever had to her? none. She had never requested anything of him and she would not start either. Frankie wanted to be around him. needed to be around him to a degree also. She existed without him. Frankie was, as hard as it was often to believe, independent. She had to be. If she wasn't her day to day torture would have been worse. Had she been forced upon depending on people. She had before and she realized what a great mistake that had been. Sean had been her closest friend. He'd taken care of her and had promised to always take care of her. Then he had abandoned her. He'd left her and soon enough she'd lost all contact with him. From there on she hadn't depended on people. She'd figured stuff out herself and tried her damndest to not need anyone more than she had to.

Which made his statement of her having someone to protect her seem so very wrong. She did NOT need someone to protect her. As a young girl she'd read all the fairy tales about the damsel in distress. She had not lived the lifestyle that created that or allowed that. Protection had never been given to her and for a long time a savior hadn't either. the woman's body had adapted to protect her. It was an unconscious effort that some didnt seem to have. So long abused that her skin had once interpreted every skin to skin contact as a threat. It simply could not be. So it hadnt. She was something not human. She'd long since lost the innocence that made someone an actual human being. Some form of wolf in sheep's clothing. That's all she was. Some little monster hiding in plain view. Some ticking time bomb that'd just had it's red cord snipped. Eventually that wouldn't be enough. Eventually she'd blow up and she'd protect herself again. At what cost?

Frankie shook her head, sucking in a deep breath of air. "I don-don-don...I dun want anyone to protect me," she sputtered out, attempting to lift herself up into a sitting position. Her fingers dug into the mattress, the knuckles on her frail looking fingers turning white from force. "I have sp-spent my entire life protecting my...my...my..myself!" Everything was coming out between sobs, her eyes slammed shut to try to contain the tears. "I w-w-was alone ex-except for Noah." And now it was her fault he was dead. The nauseous feeling consumed her body, her elbows shaking and shuddering before they gave out. Back on her side, she put her hands over her face. The woman’s body was humming with electricity. On top of everything, she had to focus on not electrocuting herself. Tian could handle himself. He had the entire psychic thing down. Frankie didn’t. If she let go now, she’d fry herself. Then she’d have to worry about patching herself up and stopping the bleeding, alone. “Everyone leaves!” she yelled, her voice breaking as the emotions bled through. Her mind kept processing Noah. Broken Noah. Torn in half by Azazyl and left bleeding in the water. Frankie couldn’t even go to the funeral. Her father would shoot her. Or maybe he’d beat her to death now that she was a mutant. She’d be trash to him. Everyone was gone. Frankie didn’t have a family. She didn’t have a sibling who loved her. She had a handful of friends at the house who would all one day leave her for better people, better things. Frankie was a second rate person.

noah had never thought that about her. Her getting tested on had killed him. Frankie knew that. But he also knew that was her only chance for getting better. Both of her brother’s loved her but Noah had been the one that didn’t resent her. He did everything he could for her. He’d left to come find her. To be with her and to be her brother. He came there to be the same brother to her that he had when she was a baby. But he’d been taken from her. “I just don’t want to be left behind anymore,” she whispered, her voice choking as another sob hiccupped out. The heel of her hand pushed against her eyes, furiously trying to remove the tears. “And I want him back.” Frankie knew she could say it all she wanted but she’d never get him back. “I wish he had hated me. I wish he hated me like my father does. He would have lived a good life that way.” Noah gave up more than anyone would ever be able to imagine for her. Had he hated her, he never would have felt bad about the testing, he never would have felt bad when she couldn’t dance anymore, he never would have felt bad when Sean left her. Every night he stayed up with her would have been left with him sleeping in his own room. Out of all those girls he dated he might have married one but they all had their own views on her. Views he didn’t agree with. Everything was on Frankie. Every death she’d ever caused, every life she had ever affected by being such a messed up freak. Every time her brothers had sacrificed something for her, would never have happened had she not been born the way she was. No one in her family was like her. She was it. The scapegoat.

The woman’s hand rested flat against the mattress, the sheets cool against the ever heating up palm. “I don’t know what to do.” Frankie’s voice was tired and defeated, the well of tears finally drying out for the moment. Her breathing was still labored and her body still shook. Her hands were shaking like they had months ago, slowly spreading up into her arms. What if she didn’t get better after this time? What if it took her twenty years to go back to not shaking again? She’d starve before then. It was already hard enough for her to gain weight. She curled up into herself, her wild hair tickling her cheeks. Frankie kicked a leg out, bumping his with hers. It was a small attempt to get him to come back closer to her, to hold her again. She didn’t want to try to use her hands right now. Frankie wanted to pretend like the only problem she had to deal with was Noah. But it wasn't. Not for her. It was never one problem.

YOU THINK IM PRETTY WITHOUT ANY MAKE UP ON
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you thinkxxxxxxim funnyxxxxxxwhen ixxxxxxtell thexxxxxxpunchline wrongxxxxxxi knowxxxxxxyou getxxxxxxme soxxxxxxi letxxxxxxmy wallsxxxxxxcome down

[the meaning of rabbits]

e r i kErik knew what pain was. He knew what the pain was of knowing you were singlehandedly the reason for the destruction of the one person who had ever loved you. Perhaps there were others but there was always that one person. The person who you knew when they looked at you, no matter how mad they were, you could still find the love there. As such they would do anything for you. When they did, you failed. You were the one that dug their grave. It came from being born of monsters. Not of the womb of their mother. But by the men that had raised both he and Frankie. Despite he being nearly a teen and she only eleven when they arrived to their clutches, so much of the many years of parenting from his mother and her dear brother noah, were erased. Even with Noah there with her, there was only so much he could help. Eventually, Erik and Frankie found themselvese on the same page. They did not grieve over their lost childhood. They did not often grieve. They felt anger or sadness but not grief. He used his to fuel his pushing forward. No person would be in the situation he or she was. She used hers to teach her how to be happy for just having the day. Same page, different subsections. It was hard to hear how they deserved happiness. Lorelei didn't know every detail of the things he had done to others, nor did she know of the sweet little red head's murderous streak. No one in this house aside from he and charles knew her life. People weren’t privileged to that. It was as much to protect themselves from rehashing the pain they experienced as it was to keep people from treating them like murderers. The façade was as much of a manipulation fact to get what they wanted as it was to ignore the fact of what happened. Again he and the red head differed. Erik used the world’s lack of knowledge of who he was and what he’d done as a manipulation fact. He could act. He could play them. But it also let him be away from people. For most, personally stories about their pasts always came out. It was something that bonded people together. Erik and Frankie existed on partial truths. Erik hated that Lorelei forced him to tell her things every single day of his life. People in the house didn’t know the whole truth and that was the way he had learned to work. Frankie knew that too. He knew she would spend an hour in Christian’s café before returning to the base to be beaten and tested on. You let people know what they saw. Not what they didn’t see. Erik was a d**k to the world. That was what people outside of those in this house knew him as.

But even most in the house didn’t know the whole story. Just pieces. Pieces could still leave people in the dark. Erik allowed himself to relax back in the seat, his head resting on top of the leather thing. "And there are many who come to the conclusion they don't want happiness. That it no longer takes precedence over other emotions. We choose to accept what we think we deserve and often times, that lines with what we want." Gray and cold looking eyes slipped shut, his other hand resting around the neck of the bottle. He knew the hangover was going to hurt. How many mornings had he woken up with one? How many times had he sworn that the pain in his head was a sign of the last slivers of humanity his mother had instilled within him. That the physical pain was the same as the emotional. That it was proof he didn’t exist on rage and hate. But at the heart…was that not true? What powered him? Rage or serenity. Charles had so desperately tried to convince him to pull from rage and to serenity. It hadn’t happened. Erik had given it a go but he was too deep rooted. It was a lesson for Charles. You could not save every soul that washed up onto your door step. Some would wither, some would die. It was life and often you had to watch that person continue onwards. Charles just needed to learn that no matter what traumas he’d been faced with now, his world was not the black and white world he thought existed. A loud exhale came from him, ignoring her questions of whether or not she should be there. He only lifted the bottle up to his lips and took another long drink.

Erik had drifted off to sleep in the leather chair, his feet kicked up on the coffee table and his head lolled off to the side. The bright rays of the early morning sun was what had awoken him, alerting to the new day. Xavier’s home was quiet. The late fall morning rays glinted against the wooden floors, streaming in through the front main windows. Erik cringed at the site of it, lifting a hand up to cover his eyes. The motion was done only for a moment before both hands crept up to rub his forehead. His head did hurt, though not as much as he had previously anticipated it would. Looking over to the bottle next to him, he figured out why. An amber liquid still filled a good portion of the bottle. In reality, he had not drank as much as he planned. Erik pushed himself forward, leaning on his arms on his knees. The Jewish man took a moment to gain his complete bearings, rolling his neck about in an attempt to remove the knot out of the back of it. Sleeping in the chair had been less than kind.

Erik rubbed his shoulder with one hand as he slowly moved down the hall. A few floor boards creaked here and there as he walked, especially on the steps. Erik cringed as he moved up, listening to the loud cracks the steps created. They needed to fix those, if there was a way. It was an old house thing, that he was sure. But so early in the morning? It bade him no good news. Erik hoped Charles would stay asleep. Forgive him to not wanting to discuss his internal problems with the man after the day before. It was all selfish reasons. The woman’s pain brought up his own pain, his own doubts and woes. Erik just needed to swallow them up and that be that. He had other things to worry about. Like…God, what did he have to? Lorelei was one thing. And dammit, he’d volunteered to take her to get her costume. It wasn’t like..he minded. But then again he did? It was this ******** backward way of thinking. Eight months hating her guts (or pretending to. Erik would never admit when his affection for her began and when the shift in thoughts came about) and now he wasn’t. The man wasn’t made for long term relationships. He wasn’t made for relationships. It was painful. It wasn’t right. The world was pulling itself apart and the apocalypse was coming. They hadn’t even gotten flying cars yet. But there he was. Having some form of emotion toward a woman that he honestly shouldn’t. She had her own basket case of problems, different than his. Erik was confused. The mild, mild headache didn’t help anything. Perhaps, for once, he’d take the devil’s advice and not over think it. Just do it.

Giving a slight groan, Erik pushed his way into his room, grabbing fresh clothes on his way toward the bathroom. A shower and then he’d move on to food. He needed something in his system. He need edto return to his normal daily schedule. Erik took a slightly longer than he meant shower, finishing the process of waking himself up and allowing him what he thought to possibly be the last part of peace he had for the day. At least until the sun went down. Once out of the shower he dried off and got dressed. It was normal. Erik often found it odd in these past few days how purposeless he felt. There was no more shaw to hunt. Of course, he had chosen to move onto the humans themselves but that would take time, planning and most importantly an army. Erik had none yet. He had time. Time was something he wasn’t used to. Not like this. He wasn’t hunting anyone. Time didn’t press him anymore. How…strange. With a final straightening of the collar of the turtle neck, he removed himself from the room completely, pressing forward toward the kitchen. The house was still quiet. But for how long? It wasn’t as early as he thought it had been. The clock was ticking forward toward nine thirty in the morning. People had stayed up late the night before. Erik knew that. He’d heard them moving around even as he and Lorelei were in the living room. They were active, for whatever reason. Full moon, Erik guessed. Either that or figuring out stuff for Halloween. That really was a possibility. For now, The man was content with a cup of coffee. He took his place on one of the metal stools while the pot sat on the stove, slowly brewing what he knew was going to be perfect for him coffee. Strong but not too strong. No doubt Tian would hate it but the fact was, Erik was used to Erik’s coffee. Whatever the boy made just tasted weird to him.

Erik was only able to sit there for a minute before pulling himself up to start fixing breakfast for people (it was his day, he thought, and all things considering he wasn’t a bad cook.) He needed something to focus on. The man was learning his mind well enough that as soon thinking of Tian would lead him to thinking of Frankie. Frankie would make him think of the shattered monster she was. That would make him think of himself. Thinking of that would make him think of Lorelei. For now, he didn’t need the confused and muddled up thoughts to flood through his mind. He couldn’t do that. Not now. He had admitted there were romantic feelings to Tian. Couldn’t’ that in combination of being his version of kind to the woman be enough for now? somewhere in the back of his mind, Erik knew that wasn’t right. He knew that this was just walking up onto the diving board. He was slowly walking toward the dive into the deep end at the end. It was only a matter of time. Whether that was a comfort or a worry, erik could not say. Perhaps it was both. Yes. Yes, in fact he thought it was possible it was both. "She could be a witch. I'd believe that in a second," Erik muttered under his breath, shaking his head and pulling a pan out of the cabinet.

MoonlightIllusionist

wow. look. i do an almost dialogue free post. i suck. uh, okay. anyways. if you can't reply to it whenever you actually do get around to it, you know how to reach me. i would have thrown frank in there at the end but well, i felt like if i wanted to do that i should have done some morning time in her post. but i didn't. and hers should be better next time around. as should his. i don't think they're bad. i just thik they're weaker than what i normally give. but, anyways, it's done and hopefully now that i've got a schedule running with everything i'm doing in life, i should be able to be a bit more of a frequent poster. or, more so frequent than i have been. within a week or two of your post, i guess i mean. because, i really do want to get into ours. i just love them all so much. ;A;

[RiverDaNile]

⊰ ★ ⊱ GIVE ME A WORD AND GIVE ME A SIGN !! ◞

SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY

●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●

★ LOVE IS IN THE WATER && LOVE IS IN THE AIR !!
★ SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK && TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE !!

Christian sat there, eyes sad as he watched Frankie push herself up and look at him. Her words didn’t help either. Yes, Tian was aware that she was a grown woman and could take care of herself, but it was Tian’s job to protect people, and especially the people he cared for the most.
“I know you can, Francine,” Tian felt awful. He didn’t mean to upset her more. “But it’s something I want to do,” he explained. “I know you don’t need it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to; your a strong woman, independent, but I want to help you. Anyway I can, it’s my job,” he explained. “I care about you, so it’s part of my job to help protect you,” his eyes never left her. He wanted her to understand. How much he needed this. He needed her. “I need you, Frankie. So I will do everything in my power to keep you with me. I’m not going anywhere,” Tian reached out and gently touched her face. “I will never leave you. I couldn’t do that. Not to you, or to me. You’re my best friend; and I love you. And because of this, I can’t let you down like that; I never could. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself,” Tian didn’t know what else to do. Frankie was going to hurt for awhile, he knew this. Tian understood this. Even after all these years, Tian still felt a twinge of pain at the mention of his brother, Gabriel. So he wasn’t expecting her to feel any better any time soon. It would be painful, but Tian would be there for her. It was the only thing he could do.

His heart ached for her. Apart of him wanted to take all her pain away; he wanted to swap their places, but that was something he couldn’t do. All he could do was be there for her, and never leave, and love her until the day he died. And damn’t, he’d do that. He’d never leave her. Ever. He’d always be there. And if he absolutely had to leave, he’d always come back; always.
The kick to his leg brought a slight turn of his lips; she wanted him to hold her. And that’s something Tian could do; he could comfort her, or he’d try to.
Reaching over, Tian helped her back up into his arms and her laid her against his chest, cradling her there. His powers up just enough to protect himself, because he understood her emotional distress wasn’t going to be good on her powers, and he continued to pet her head lightly, brushing his fingers softly against her hair. “I don’t know either,” he spoke truthfully. “It’s hard losing a sibling. Especially when you feel it’s your fault,” Something Tian could understand. Gabriel had died, quite literally, at his hands. Tian was directly to blame for his death.
“But Noah loved you, and he’d want you to find happiness, and live a good life. Or as good as it’s going to get for us,” He smiled. “Which’ll be fine,” Tian didn’t need a whole lot. Just a comfortable place to live, enough money to support himself, and his family, and then his family. And Frankie was part of that family now.

“We can still go shopping, but it doesn’t have to be today,” he mentioned, still rubbing her hair. “Unless of course you want to, but I doubt you’re feeling up to it. We can try for tomorrow, or the day after,” He smiled, trying to be optimistic. “You should eat soon. How about I make pancake bites you can just dip into the syrup and eat, hmm? Finger food is always good,” He smiled. “And we’ll see how you’re feeling tomorrow...” Tian thought about the letter he received from Noah, and questioned when he should show it to her. He didn’t want to make her feel bad at all, or even worse in this case, but perhaps it would help? Even just a little bit. It was at least somewhat amusing that Noah didn’t know his name. ‘Tattooed Coffee shop guy’ was an interesting nickname, that was for sure.
“I know what it’s like, feeling like you’re to blame,” He whispered lightly, still gently stroking her hair. “Not just because of Gabriel either -- who wasn’t a man like Noah. He was an evil little boy, so it’s not as ...devastating..” Tian’s head tilted back against the wall and he stared up at the ceiling. He hadn’t...mentioned this to anyone. Not even Charles, though he was almost positive the other male knew, simply because of their similar abilities. “When I was in High school, I wasn’t the same level-headed cool guy you think I am now. In fact, I was pretty geeky, and I didn't make a lot of friends. I got teased for being the lanky kid, and different. Was into tattoo’s and piercings and stuff, not the typical things for kids my age,” His eyes kept to the ceiling. It was...painful recalling this. He didn’t like thinking about it. But he felt like sharing. “Well, we were on this field trip, and I had been picked on the entire time, and just was not having a good day. And when it was time to get into the bus, I was in the restroom. Well, I came out to the bus, only to find it driving off without me. Ran after it, and the people in the back, who clearly saw me, were laughing and pointing. I just got so mad...in that moment I hated them more than anything, and I yelled; practically screamed,” A deep sigh resonated up through his chest. “Well, the bus jerked and drove straight into this like...lake they had across the way; the decorative kind. I didn’t have control of my abilities like I do now,” he could feel the tears welling in his eyes and he closed them to stop them from coming.

“My abilities; my anger....kept the doors and windows shut, no matter how hard I tried pulling the bus out of the lake, or opening something to let them out...every single one of them, I ….mentally attached to, trying to help them the best I could...but...I....I couldn’t. The bus filled with water, and every single one of them drowned,” his hand stopped moving through her hair, but he continued to hold her, lightly tightening his grip. “I couldn’t save mama. Or Gabriel...or those kids on the bus. And I killed every single one of them. They died because of me. I felt ….every single one of them...slip away...” Tian kept his eyes closed, holding Frankie closer to him. “I don’t know what I’d do...if I lost you too..” He felt the tears as they slid down his cheeks. Reaching up with his other arm, he wiped them away. He didn’t want to cry, but...the feeling...talking about the bus incident...it just hurt. All around hurt.



Quote:

This took a lot longer than I originally planned. Ugg. Working on Lorelei next. Hopefully it'll be up relatively soon. Moms just loosing her marbles and screaming, bitching, cussing, and breaking dishes, and it's extremely....well, sucks everything out of me. So yeah. Hard to write when you're feeling kinda numb. But I managed. I hope it's not utter s**t.







◟ WHOA, HEAVEN LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE DOWN ⊰ ★ ⊱

●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●

TEACH ME HOW TO SPEAK && TEACH ME HOW TO SHARE

TELL ME WHERE TO GO & TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE ?

[RiverDaNile]

L O R E L E I couldn’t say she agreed with Erik’s words. In fact, she found herself sitting there, unable to find the correct words to say. How could she make him believe that he, and Frankie both, deserved happiness? Well, she certainly wasn’t going to be doing it tonight. It had taken time for the two of them to come this far in their relationship. She doubt she was going to get any more leeway than she already was.
Erik had been exceptionally nice to her, and as much as it made her question the older man, she said nothing. It was better than usual, and that was something she was honestly somewhat enjoying. And considering his state of mind at the moment, she didn’t see any chance of her getting through to him. Not now. It would take much more time for even an inkling of that to happen.
“I believe you do,” was all she said. Lorelei wasn’t anything close to an Angel, but it was still what she believed. And that meant something to her, but for the time being, it wasn’t going to really mean much to Erik. As unfortunate as that was.

When she questioned him about staying, he said nothing, which made Lorelei wonder still if he wanted her there or not. However, knowing Erik, he would probably say if he didn’t or not. So, she would just assume it didn’t bother him for the time being.
She continued to play for a while, simple soft melodies, turning her head every now and again to check on Erik, until she found him sleeping in the chair. Her playing ceased, and she placed a small blanket over him, hoping that it would be better than nothing for the time being. She didn’t wake him, and silently exited the room, closing the door behind her.
It was late when Lorelei made it back to her room, and she quickly stripped herself of her day clothes, slipped into her pajama’s, and finally went to sleep.

However, sleep was not something she could really get. After a couple of hours, Lorelei found herself waking before the sun had even risen, and unable to fall back to sleep, no matter how hard she tried. Her mind was elsewhere; swimming with all sorts of questions and information. It was also probably because it was the first time in over a week that she had slept alone in her bed.
Sighing deeply, Lorelei pulled the covers off her, cracking her neck lightly. Stretching her hands above her head, she groaned, allowing the muscles to tense and her joints to crack, before bringing them back down.
“Cholera,”(1) she hissed, unhappy about the lack of sleep, but there wasn’t much she could do at this point. Yawning, Lorelei stood from her bed and wandered over to the dresser. If she couldn’t sleep, then she’d have to do something productive to clear her mind. She’d work on her water abilities. They always brought out the worst of her, sure, but it was something she needed to work on; she needed that control, and she needed to get rid of that second personality. She wasn’t going to do that by allowing it to control another aspect of herself. Those water abilities were hers, and damn’t, they would be her’s alone eventually.

Throwing on something comfortable to be outside in during the autumn morning, Lorelei slipped out of the mansion and she wandered down through the grounds until she came upon her small working area. It had a lot of water, so it was something she could work with during times like these.
The air was crisp, chilly, and smelt of dew. It was overall a nice autumn morning, though the sun had yet to shine over the horizon. It was dark, but Lorelei wasn’t afraid. They were safe there at Charles’s. For now.
Cracking her neck again, Lorelei yawned. Perhaps it was not the smartest idea to work on her abilities while she was so tired, but she felt the urge to do so. It would help her get her mind off yesterday, and focus on today. To an extent, it was none of Lorelei’s business; both Frankie’s and Erik’s, though that didn’t stop her from being worried about her friends, and wanting to be there to comfort both of them, but she felt completely unable to do so. It was frustrating.
Twisting her hand, her finger’s moving gracefully along with the motion, Lorelei lifted a small ball of water from the fountain and into the air. Continuing to hold it, Lorelei used her other hand and pulled more from the fountain, joining the two balls together to form one. This wasn’t nearly as hard as it had been before. Perhaps it was from earlier? All of her training seemed to be paying off. Though she could feel her there, just below the skin. It prickled with anticipation, and Lorelei shook her head, trying to focus on the task at hand; making the water bubble as big as she could before she either dropped it, or the other personality was fighting against her far too much to continue on.

Lorelei continued this far into the morning. The first rays of the sun made her smile, the warmth against her skin. It was almost like a spark of energy, and Lorelei continued her training, making the ball of water larger and larger with each passing moment.
The water was almost drained completely from the fountain, her hands trembling, the personality rearing against the cage Lorelei had been trying to create around it. She wanted out. She wanted destruction, and Lorelei was just not going to have it.
’LET ME OUT!’ Lorelei heard herself scream, demanding angrily for her release, startling her. She hadn’t heard the voice that loud before, and in an instant her concentration was broken, and down came the ball of water...directly on top of her.
A startled, but muffled scream escaped her lips as the cold water came down upon her, drenching her completely. Her hands out still, Lorelei stood there in the cold morning, completely soaked, and in completely surprise of the situation.
“Are you kidding me?” She practically hissed. As much as Lorelei found comfort in water, this was certainly not that time. She felt wet, and cold, and much like a cat who had fallen into the neighbors pool on accident.

Anger bubbled up in her chest and she sighed heavily, reaching up and pinching the bridge of her nose just between her eyes.
“Przysięgam na Boga,” (2) Allowing another sigh to escape, Lorelei decided that it was time for her to head back inside now that she was wet and cold. She needed a cup of coffee, and then a change of clothes. Perhaps a shower. Yes, a shower. Fountain water. As clean as Charles probably kept it, she didn’t feel like throwing god knows what chemicals into her hair for long.
Lorelei wandered back into the house, ringing out as much water from her clothes as she possibly could before she entered, and headed straight for the kitchen. She expected there to be nobody up. She expected an empty kitchen so that nobody would be there to look at her in such a condition, but she was most certainly in for another surprise as she stepped into the doorway and paused, merely to find Erik already in there.
Her cheek lightly twitched and she stood there in silence, pretty sure she looked absolutely hideous right now. Her expression was certainly not amused as she mulled over the situation in her head. Here was Erik, able to see her at a rather unpleasant time, and she looked absolutely gross -- or she most likely did. At least she knew she was soaked, and looked pissed beyond belief.
“Ja nawet nie pierdolony opieki,”(3) she grumbled, moving herself completely into the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of coffee. She needed it. And she needed it now. She’d move onto the bathroom next and take a shower and get herself properly dressed, but for now, she needed that damned cup of coffee.
#99a5b8 - blue || #774a49 - brown


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1: Damnt 2: I swear to God..3: I dont even ******** care.
Gawd this post is s**t. I don't know how I like it. Its almost 5 Am, and Im just...writing xD That's all that just came out. I hope this is okay. It'll be better next posts...

[the meaning of rabbits]

YOU THINK IM PRETTY WITHOUT ANY MAKE UP ON
▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇xxxxxxx♔xxxxxxx▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
you thinkxxxxxxim funnyxxxxxxwhen ixxxxxxtell thexxxxxxpunchline wrongxxxxxxi knowxxxxxxyou getxxxxxxme soxxxxxxi letxxxxxxmy wallsxxxxxxcome down

text color - 036564

Frankie didn’t want food. The thought of it made her stomach churn and her face pale. Her hands stayed pressed up against her chest, her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her jaw strained as she tried to keep the shuddering sobs that wracked her body to come out her lips and make anymore noise. It was painful, her fingers flexing and shaking from the tension she had applied to them. Her breaths were more like gasps, a desperate attempt to find the control Frankie had always had over herself. Except when she was in pain. Pain had always been her crutch. Yet, when she was in pain before she could always count on no one who cared being there. Her weakness had never mattered to them. Weeping had never affected them. It affected Tian though. Frankie couldn’t say that she liked the care. Maybe she was supposed to but maybe that time was long past. It made her feel guilty that she made him feel bad because she felt bad. It made her feel bad that it made him think of his past. The fault he had laid on himself. Taking the life of another, whether it needed to be done or not, was always hard. It never got easier and if it did you ended up like Erik.

There was also a sick form of relief in his admittance. The focus had shifted off of her. Maybe again, the comfort came in the fact that he’d done bad things too. Maybe, if she ever told him the truth about her life (not the candy coated version he’d already gotten) he wouldn’t think she was a monster. But it also made it worse. That shared kind of moment, killing others not because you wanted to. Not because you meant to or anything. It just happened and once it started no amount of screaming and apologizing could stop it. You just had to pretend like you had a chance to save them and con yourself into thinking it hadn’t been your fault. That you hadn’t wanted it. No amount of that really worked. In the end, you knew it was your fault and it was a lump of coal in your stomach. No. no. not coal. It was a virus that boned to your genes. Frankie pushed herself up to her knees, clearing her throat and swallowing down her emotions. There was a weird thing in this. The shift of concern. It was easier for her to handle herself by handling him than anything else. Frankie found it easier to pretend like nothing was wrong with her and instead choose to try to take care of him. Her hands took his in them, the shaking appendages wrapping around his palms as best as they could. Affection was strange to her. Frankie wasn’t sure exactly to do.

Taking his hands she put them against her face and for a second she sat like that with her head bowed. It didn’t last long. She turned her face into his palm and gave a shaky exhale. “Can you feel it?” she questioned, keeping her focus on what exactly her powers were doing in that moment. “Not the breathing. The electricity.” It was always running across her skin even when she had it under control. It was why no matter what her hair wasn’t kind to her. Frankie’s fingers gently pressed into his hand, rubbing a small circle into the back of it. Keeping that one hand on her face, she let the other drop to her lap. “Even if my heart stops beating, if you can still feel it, you can bring me back to you.” Unfortunately that was something she had learned from past experience, but he didn’t need to know that. Tentatively she reached out to put her hand on his chest. It was a few shaky fingers at first that retracted nearly as soon as they had touched the front of his shirt. “I’m not those kids. I’m not Gabriel. I’m not anyone you’ve lost. I’m new. Remember that.” Frankie’s hands moved up to his face, one hand resting on his cheek to where her fingers could weave through the short hair behind his ear while the other wiped the tears off of him. Her voice wasn’t strong. It shook and was course from the hours of crying she’d put in. There were still little hiccups and every couple words she’d have to swallow the knot down. It was the only thing that kept the well of tears from over flowing. Again. It started out as a little hum, something that was a knee jerk reaction for her when she was sad. It was funny in a..morbid type of way that the person who had instilled the habit was the same one she sang it over.

Ever since she was little, Noah had always sang you are my sunshine to her when she was sad or sick. “You are my sunshine…my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away…” Frankie wasn’t a singer. She was barely a talker. But still, for her sake and maybe his if it helped any, she didn’t shut up. It did make her feel better, in a bitter sweet kind of way. She sat with her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her face resting against one of them. The sun was rising. They’d wasted all night in her room being woeful individuals. Frankie couldn’t say she felt good. Honestly, she felt hollow. It was a nauseous feeling.

“I need…I need to go take a shower. And…I don’t care what we do but can we just not be at the house? It’s easier to be invisible in a crowd than in this house,” Frankie explained, slowly letting go of him and climbing up off of the mattress on the ground. Her legs weren’t stable and for a moment she feared collapsing down onto the floor. Frankie didn’t though. She was good at that entire fake it until you make it deal. She could sit back down in the shower. It took her a moment to pull her closet door open, digging around in a cardboard box on the floor for a clean clothes. It took her a moment but she found what she was okay with for the day, grabbing the stupid scarf with cows Wayne had gotten her off the shelf a second later. Pushing the bathroom door open with her foot, she turned back for a second to look at him, globs of hair falling down into her face. “Thank you for staying with me tonight. Noah….” Her voice choked on the word. “He was the only who would still sit with me when I wasn’t okay.” The young woman nodded her head lightly a couple times before stepping into the still dark bathroom.

Frankie wasn’t sure how long she was in there. All she knew that she’d been sitting on the floor of the shower and couldn’t tell if her body was shaking from a lack of control or the fact she was crying. Maybe it was both. The dirt was hard to get from her skin. It was hard to erase yesterday from her body. The dirt was still there, clinging into the long scratches on her skin. IT was in every scar on her disgusting looking body. Not even as soap washed away the drain did Frankie feel like she was really clean. It half crossed her mind to scrub until she bled, just to see if she could remove it all. It was a disgusting feeling. It wasn’t just feeling awful about yesterday. It was feeling bad about every single thing that she had ever been the cause of. At some point, when the soap and dirt was gone, Frankie climbed out. The young woman was careful to make sure she didn’t trip and fall. It’d be awful to have Tian rushing in here to make sure she hadn’t accidently seriously injured herself when she was nude. Not only was there the nude, there were the scars and it just wasn’t pretty. He’d seen her in a tank top but that still covered the worst of her afflictions. There was a good thing about her constant electrical pulse. Her hair dried generally fast. By the time she was heading out, only the thickest parts of it were still damp. When she removed herself from the bathroom, she still had the outer gray sweater and her scarf in one hand. The tank top she wore underneath the dress hung loose on her, giving a less than flattering view of her protruding collar bone coated with the thinner scars.

Her hair was mostly out of her face for the moment, green eyes widening in surprise at the sight of him still on her bed. She hadn’t expected him to..stay. There were other people in the house. There was Astrid and Tina and other generally sunnier people to spend time with. “I thought you might have gone to check on tina or something,” She muttered, looking at him before back down at herself. Despite being in more clothes than she had been in front of him before, ever scar stuck out more to her, as did her bones. Frankie turned her back to him and quickly tugged the grey sweater down over her head, covering up the last bits of bare skin. She couldn’t do it today. She just wanted to disappear. “I, uh, forgot to say it earlier. I don’t think it’ll make you feel better either. Nothing can make a person feel better about some situations but,” Frankie had moved over to sit back down on her bed. Her hands lifted up to pull her hair out of the neck of her sweater, the long locks tumbling down over her shoulder. “It’s not like I imagined you having some white ledger in the first place but, I don’t care if it’s not. I care it happened? Because it’s sad. And it makes you sad. What I mean is, you’re still just Tian to me and I don’t think there’s anything you can say that can change the way I look at you.” Frankie leaned forward and kissed his forehead, bracing an arm on his shoulder so it was easier for her to lean up and connect flesh to flesh. “I couldn’t have asked for a better person to save my life, alright? You’re one of, if not the, best men I’ve ever met,” she finished, resting back down into a normal seated position. Her heart felt dreary. She treid to cover it up but her face always looked tired when she wasn’t…right. Her skin would pale and the space under her eyes would darken. Even the color would drain from her lips.

The corner of her lip was lifted up in an attempt to force a smile. “What’s the plan, man?” Frankie hadn’t been lying when she said she wanted to get out of the house. The woman felt like crap and she didn’t want to deal with everyone else just yet.




Quote:

LONG OVER DUE AND IM NOT EVEN SURE IF I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING RIGHT. but we both know frankie would rather take care of him than vice versa. so he gave her a prime oppertunity. sappy frankie was also sappy. at least she has reasons to? new frankie outfit for a new day! and it's....a bit less colorful than usual but that works! PLUS BLUE COW SCARF and that cover thing i was talking about xxx ALSO, will you do me a favor and when you get to this point, will you pm me and tell me if we were going to do lorelei and erik going to get her stuff this day or the next? i can't remember if we wanted her to have a day of mental recoop seeing as technically it's the 29th and halloween is the 31st.

[the meaning of rabbits]

f o r Erik, it was strange cooking again. Cooking for a group of people was something entirely new in and of itself ontop of that. He had been a solitary man for so long and now he was with these people. For as many of the people in the house that he did honestly like (which was a small number), it was hard to call this a family. The last time that he remembered cooking for people had been his family. The family that had been taken from him so many years ago. It was starting to make the entire thing a bit melancholic. It also made him consider giving them all a major screw you to the rest of the house and make less food. Especially considering since the way Erik cooked was still overly indicative of a poor boy. It had been rather frequent of his mother to combine the previous night’s leftovers with potatoes and cook them together in a pan. It was a Hash, if he remembered. That might have been the word for it. It’d been so long since he’d had it and so long since he’d heard it’s name. If he ever had. Erik had always and only known it as breakfast. Erik was, in fact, starting to regret his choice to fix food upon realizing that he had started the process of throwing food objects in the pan that he so vividly remembered from his younger years. There was a warm flood of memories that flashed through his mind that wasted no time in reminding him of the ice that had taken place of bone marrow.

Their kitchen had been much smaller than this and had a wood stove. It was always heavy with the smells of his mother’s food, no matter how bland it ended up tasting. It wasn’t her fault. She would have made it taste better if she could have. There just wasn’t the money. Setting the spatula down beside the stove, his hand came up to rub his face, strain and the dark circles under his eyes evidence enough that it had been a rough night sleeping. The chair was good for drinking but that was its extent. Well, chess also when he and Charles were bored enough to drag it over to their nicer chairs to play it. It wasn’t made for back support nor was it made for keeping his body stretched out and comfortable. It was….disturbing to him at how fast a single bad night sleep could make him feel older than he was. It made him feel like he was ancient, a creature that had crawled out from the depths of time to scour at the cast iron pan the food was currently cooking in. Perhaps Charles comparison between him and a mildly upset and rained on cat was more accurate than Erik dared agree to. Shaking his head, he took a glance to the angry pot of coffee. And not a moment too soon.

Erik’s body was starting to go into that slightly comfortable state that often came with a quiet morning. Especially these after Shaw passed. His body just was either stiff or it was calm. Neither of which Erik thought he liked much. It lacked purpose and that made him ache somewhere deep inside. The fury was still there but it had nothing to point to. There was no reason behind it other than being a wronged little boy. And humans. The normal person. Mutants were the next level on the evolutionary ladder and yet, yet humans squandered their ability to live so blissfully normally. It was something that was taken for granted. Their families, their jobs, their homes. Erik’s life was a rush of memories involving concentration camps, torture, and piece of s**t hotel rooms where he’d spend nights alone and having only gotten in by opening the door himself. What a waste they were. The last good one had gone with his mother. With a slight huff, he poured the coffee out of the pot and into one of the various mugs that were normally sitting by the sink. They got cleaned so often due to use it was a rare occasion when it was actually a counter without them.

There was a laziness about him that moment, even within the grasps of the stiff and soreness left from sleeping in the chair all night. Rather than using his own power to move the coffee pot, he found himself picking it up himself and pouring it into the mug. The man’s eyes were glazed and heavy, his attention nowhere but the steam that came from the hot liquid. They were simple motions. Replace the pot on the stove, cup in hand. Sit at island, lift cup to lips. Keep ears open to sound of food cooking. Everything was timed from memory. It was all like he was used to. Even the smell of the painfully strong coffee was too. His mother had made coffee strong, reusing the pot and the grounds until it was as bitter and watery as either of them could take. “Good-“ he had started to greet the new comer, the sound of the footsteps of the witch heading toward the kitchen. He’d once found it disturbing how easy it was to tell the difference between peoples footsteps but it was. Frankie walked like she was on egg shells, afraid to make a sound. Tina was far more carefree, often in accompaniment of Alex’s whose steps were slow and heavy. So he had known it was Lorelei or at very least guessed it. Her footsteps were that of agitation and honestly he hadn’t been sure what he had been expecting. Part of him had almost thought he had just woken up in the right world and they were back to hating each other again.

"Good Morning, Fraulein. Wet out? I seemed to have missed the rain."

As Erik lifted his head, he knew two things.

The first was that no, this was not yet the right world. Erik still found himself in some strange form of heart based attraction to her. He would have banked on it being surely and purely physical had it not been for the fact she looked very much like a piece of cotton that had been dunked in water and stretched. If he wasn’t already damned to hell, he damned himself at the moment of upliftment something in his chest took at her arrival. Feelings of romanticism were not something that he particularly enjoyed. Lust was an emotion he could handle. This wasn’t even lust. This was something different. There was lust somewhere in that (which utterly disturbed him) but it was more than that (which disturbed him further). The second was that Lorelei was upset in a rather…amusing way. Though perhaps it wasn’t what she was bothered by, Erik couldn’t help but assume her current drenched state had something of an ‘insult to injury’ effect on her if he was in fact right about it not being the full reason. He couldn’t help but give a rough chuckle at her appearance, the noise bitter and rough against the otherwise quiet room. “Such harsh language,” Erik teased, his lips wrapping around the edge of the mug as he took another drink. “Can’t be that bad. People have picked up kittens who look a bit more distressed than this.” Giving a final snort, he stood to return to the food. It had already filed the kitchen with its aroma. Needless to say he was more than interested in eating it than making fun of Lorelei and distressed appearance.

“I’ll warn you about the coffee. I made it. I’m sure our dear Christian will get his word of complaint in about it being..bitter or something of the sort.” There were no warnings about the food. If there was one thing he knew he was confident in was the food tasting a thousand times better than it actually looked. Lifting up the pan on top, can of potatoes and all, off, Erik was met with the familiar sight of browned potatoes and vegetables mixed together. IT was home in a pan. His mind danced back to the words Charles had spoken about rage and serenity. At the thought of what had surrounded it, Erik shook the thoughts away. “Hungry? Imah always said food warmed you.” It wasn’t that he totally believed it, he realized as he sat back down with the plate full of food. The first bite was melancholic. The second was numb. The third was wonderful. Pausing in his chowing down, his eyebrows furrowed. "I believe she meant something other than physically but we can make that apply for this situation. Trust that she could do more with leftovers than i can. Charles seems to favor more pancake like breakfasts.." It was true. The man seemed so equipped to fix pancakes for six months straight. Other breakfasts weren't as common. They did contain all the ingredients, they were just generally used for dinner.

“When do you want me to take you to your apartment?” Erik was still rather adamant about going with her. Just because last night had been the epitome of miserable didn’t mean that it had changed his mind. The woman was healed from her injuries but Erik couldn’t say if that meant she wasn’t still sore.

A sip of coffee and a bite later, he stared at the partially full plate. He hadn’t added salt though he knew it needed it. Seasonings had always been out of the budget. “Care to put a dollar on how many times Raven will complain about this before she finally fixes herself something else to eat? I’d say looking at it would be enough.” The tone was bitter, for as much as he liked Raven there were many reasons why he didn’t. The young woman hadn’t yet found her place in the world. She was insecure and unsure. The affections of Hank only went so far now that he was in a condition that she very much shared. Hank dealt far better than the young woman though. Perhaps one day, Raven would be less co-dependent. Today was not that day and Erik was more concerned about forming some attempt at removing this stiffness than to be worried about her mindset.

MoonlightIllusionist

i hope this is enough to reply to. if it's not, just let me know and i'll add some more on. you know i don't care about the length of your replies or how long it takes you to do them. but i feel it worth reminding since i had someone snap at me about my never informing them a while ago.

[RiverDaNile]

⊰ ★ ⊱ GIVE ME A WORD AND GIVE ME A SIGN !! ◞

SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY
SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK X AND TELL ME WHAT WILL I FIND X LAY ME ON THE GROUND X AND FLY ME IN THE SKY

●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●

★ LOVE IS IN THE WATER && LOVE IS IN THE AIR !!
★ SHOW ME WHERE TO LOOK && TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE !!

There wasn't anything else he could do but hold her. He couldn't lie to her and tell her that it would be okay. It already wasn't okay. Her brother was dead, and Tian felt helpless to make her feel better. He just wanted to take the pain away from her. She had been hurt enough. He didn't want her to feel pain like this ever again. He wanted her to be happy. But that would take time, time that Tian was willing to take in order to try.
Even feeling her in his arms, her body was tense as she desperately tried to stop feeling the way she did. She didn't want to cry anymore. He could understand. But he also knew how good it was to let it out. Sometimes it was just easier to let it out. Sometimes...at this point he could only assume it was hard to do either option: cry, or hold it back. Crying kept her feeling hollow and reminded her of the pain, and holding it back seemed to almost – at least for him – trick yourself into thinking you're alright. Tian often did that for himself. Ignore the pain and maybe it would just go away. And over time it did. For Tian it did. But for the longest time he had people there for him that made him feel better. Frankie had Noah. And even then, it wasn't all that she deserved. But she had him. And now he was gone. That was the same pain Tian could feel when Andrea had died. She was someone he held onto; she was his crutch for a long time; he was person in her life that comforted him in his time of need. And she had died. Tian hadn't been able to save her from her own demons. He remembered the day too well, and his eyes closed. He had been low that day. Very low. And he could only imagine how Frankie felt. A girl who had been denied so much growing up...Tian had been far more blessed. He couldn't fathom the pain she suffered.

Tian turned his gaze to Frankie when she moved, sitting up onto her knees. His chest felt full, but not in the kind of way he would have liked. It felt full of air, about to burst; hollow in its own right, with his heart beating air around, pushing against his ribs. It was amazing what sadness did to someone. How it could physically hurt them. But it was also horrible. Tian could handle his own pain. Or he would die trying, but he didn't like know others were in pain.
Tian watched her hands reach and gently grasp onto his. They shook and his eyes moved from their hands and up to her face. She brought them there and he smiled lightly, watching her cradle his hands against her cheeks. He watched her silently until she spoke. Did he feel it? He took a moment to really take in what she was asking him, and there it was, zinging under his skin, prickling gently at the bare flesh, but it never hurt. It was just a feeling he had gotten used to in the beginning when Frankie and he first came to Charles. She had more control now, so it was easier, but at the moment Frankie was struggling with her emotions. Of course her powers would be haywire.
He nodded lightly to answer her question. He did feel it. He felt the electricity whirling around from her skin.
Tian continued to stare, a gentle air to him as she released one of his hands. She spoke of the electricity he could feel, and how -- if he still felt it – he could bring her back if anything were to happen to her. It didn't relieve him. It was something she had to know from experience. But Tian wouldn't penetrate your mind to find the answer. He'd let her tell him, even if he had a vague idea. But even then, the thought was sparked something within his heart.

Perhaps he did feel relief. He couldn't tell. But the only thing relieving about this knowledge was that he could possibly bring her back if something were to happen. But he didn't want anything to happen. She had suffered enough. And he'd do everything in his power to keep her from suffering again. Even if it meant letting a darker rage within him escape. He'd use it...he'd murder and rip people limb from limb...for her. He'd never express this. Frankie wouldn't want him to have such thoughts, but they were always there. Just below the surface, and pushed back from there into the recesses of his soul. Tian would never be able to take back the lives her had claimed. And he'd never be able to take back the feeling of knowing what it was like to bring life to an end. He knew he could do it. Without a doubt he could. And he knew if he had to, he'd do it again.
But Tian pushed those thoughts from his mind, just allowing himself to feel Frankie's face, and her fingers dance across the back of his hand. It was a much more pleasing sensation.
Her fingertips barely touched his chest and his eyes met hers again, staring into her green orbs from his blue. Her hand reached up, gently placed one upon his cheek and the other wiped away his tears.
No, Frankie was new. She wasn't Gabriel, or those kids, or anyone else. Frankie was Frankie.
"I know," he let out a whisper, his head tilting lightly as he leaned into her hand lightly. "I just...don't want anything to happen to you...you mean too much to me, Frankie," and he worried. Tian always worried. And he probably always would. Life had a habit of taking people away from him.

Again, Tian held her lightly to him as she rested her head against his shoulder. He couldn't imagine a better place to be at that moment. Even with the pain that swirled between them both, Tian didn't want to leave her. Never. He listened to her breathing, small hiccups here and there, and the soft, but shaky hum that soon pierced the silence between the two. It changed into words, and Tian listened to her sing softly. It was a song he recognized and he smiled a bit more, his eyes closed as he listened to her, still holding her lightly to him. Tian could easily say he could feel those lyrics, and openly admit he felt that way with Frankie. She was his sunshine, even if she wasn't very sunny right now. Neither of them were right now. But they would be alright. Together...they'd be just fine.
Tian could see the sun rising through the window and Frankie's voice pulled him back to the moment. They had spent all night together. He listened to her speak and nodded. Sure, that was fine. They could still go shopping then. Just get them both out of the house. Frankie didn't need everyone bombarding her with questions about what happened yesterday, or why Tian never returned to his room. Either way, Tian was for it. He nodded lightly.
"That sounds fine. We can still go shopping then," he commenting. Getting both their minds off the situation was probably for the best. Maybe later he'd give her the note Tian had gotten from Noah.
Tian let Frankie pull away from him, and she slipped off the bed to take a shower. Tian stayed. There was no need for him to venture anywhere anyway. Frankie needed him.

With a light smile, Tian nodded.
"Anything for you, Frankie," and he meant that with every fiber of his being. Anything for you.
Tian stayed while she showered. He watched the sun rise through her window, though his mind was nowhere in particular. He found himself simply sitting in silence. He didn't want to think negative thoughts, but his mind didn't bring positive ones for him to think on as well. And quickly Tian found himself in a comfortable darkness that he could only assume was sleep. Any form of it really. And he hadn't known how long he had been out, but when the bathroom door opened, Tian's eyes opened with it. He felt tired, yes, but not as badly as he had felt earlier. He could always sleep later that day either way. For now, he had to get Frankie out of the house. Maybe they'd go back to the bakery and have breakfast alone together. That was an idea. One he actually liked. He wanted to put himself into a spot where he could be comfortable. Happy memories were there. They'd make them both feel better.
Looking up to Frankie, Tian merely shook his head lightly. Nah, Tina was fine. And Astrid had plenty of other people to talk to. They didn't need him in this moment. Frankie did.
He watched her a moment, tugging at the sweater she would be wearing and then she spoke again, moving to the bed and sitting down. Tian continued to watch her, listening.
Tian smiled. His heart ached in a familiar way. In a way that felt good. It was strange to say, but he had felt it before. It was a pain that was in the middle of mending. Even if Tian felt differently about himself, Frankie felt differently about him than he felt about himself. And that was a good feeling, even if she knew about everything. That didn't change her opinion of him. That felt good.

Frankie leaned up and kissed his forehead. Tian closed his eyes lightly at the light feel of her lips upon his skin, then opened them again as she spoke. This time it brought a bit of tears to his eyes, which he quickly blinked back as she sat herself back down. Even if they weren't unhappy tears, he didn't want to cry in front of her again. He continued to smile, reaching out and gently running his fingers through part of her hair.
"Thank you, Frankie," he whispered. "That means a lot to me," and it did. It meant so very much. But now he needed to take care of her. To make sure she felt better, or the best she could at this moment, and Tian stretched, cracking his neck a bit.
"I was thinking we could go back to the café, and I'd just open it for us. We could eat something, get some tea or coffee, and then go shopping. How does that sound?" Either way, the café would be empty. He'd leave the blinds down, and the open sign off. They'd have no one else to worry about but one another. And then they could venture forth and work on the Halloween costumes.



Quote:

BLAH. I dunno directly how I feel about this post...I mean, I don't see much wrong with it, but idk. Maybe I just wasn't feeling Tian as much as I thought xD Or maybe I'm trying too hard to write like you do. Because I like your style, and I always have more....I dont know, I get more feeling from it. Especially when it comes to Frankie. But w/e xD I FINALLY WROTE IT. I'm surprised I did. Ive been lacking in the motivation department for weeks. Blarg.
I still have your PM in my saved folder. Just...mah. Like I said, motivation. I'm surprised this is done...xD Idk about Lorelei. She might have to wait until another spurt of motivation hits. But we'll see.







◟ WHOA, HEAVEN LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE DOWN ⊰ ★ ⊱

●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●X●

TEACH ME HOW TO SPEAK && TEACH ME HOW TO SHARE

TELL ME WHERE TO GO & TELL ME WILL LOVE BE THERE ?

[RiverDaNile]

L O R E L E I felt her self conscious bubbling. Each bubble popped and another unpleasant thought would crash through her head like a bulldozer. 'You look hideous' was one, 'You're letting him see you like that?' was another. Simple things, really. But considering how much Lorelei typically prided herself in her looks, this was a stretch. Typically, had it been anyone else, she might have turned and left without a single word spoken. But Erik was...different. Yes, she felt even more self conscious with him around. Why? Did it matter that it was Erik? Of course it did. Lorelei was beginning to realize just how much it did matter to her. She wanted to look her best around him. But Erik had seen her at her worst before. This was not the first, nor would it be the last time that he would see her soaking wet. Fountains. What was up with fountains? The first time he had even climbed in there with her. Leaning against the counter, her fingers laced around the warm cup of coffee, a smile pulled onto her lips, erasing the frown that had been plastered there moments ago. Thinking about that made her feel...better. In a small instance. Her inner theater was interrupted by the sound of Erik's voice and her blue eyes moved up to look at him.
He said good morning. And mentioned something about rain. Right. She was drenched. And pissy. Or was pissy. It was funny how quickly that had left with a single memory.

"Morning," her voice was soft. She almost sounded defeated and her nose scrunched up as she heard herself. That was pathetic. She just got wet, it wasn't that big a deal. Perhaps she was just irritable from the lack of sleep? And the bullet wound she was TECHNICALLY still recovering from. But perhaps it was more from the frustration...Lorelei was frustrated that everyone had been doing so much better with their abilities. Lorelei felt almost a lack of confidence. She had gotten better, yes, but she was ready to overcome the second half of herself that had been created when she was younger. She was disappointed she hadn't gotten further. She knew she could. She had to. There had to be a way to get rid of her. But Lorelei also knew the danger's of pushing herself too far while she was alone. She could do damage otherwise. She needed supervision. Which was, again, frustrating.
"I just dropped a ******** water boulder over myself," she frowned, sipping the coffee lightly. Yup, that was bitter. She needed some creamer with that. Black was not how she wanted this. Moving to the fridge, she pulled some out and added it to the cup, then sipped it again. Better. Much better. She put the creamer back and went back to her spot in the corner. She sniffed a bit. Ug. Cold. She stood there a moment, staring down into the coffee mug. Maybe she could....remove the water from herself, her clothes, and the like and put it in the sink now. She didn't want to bring the other Lorelei out, but it was a simple gesture right? And she had taken the moment to relax so she wasn't RIGHT THERE anymore.

"Not like yours is any better most days~" she teased him right back. Language. Right. Lorelei didn't swear often. But when she did, she usually had more to say. She just often times didn't. Or she would in her own head. Or simply go to her room and throw a bit of a fit. But that didn't happen often anymore. She learned to control the anger.
She chuckled lightly at his comment. Right. Kittens.
"I'm just frustrated. Lack of sleep doesn't help," she admitted then took another sip from her mug. She placed it down on the counter and closed her eyes. Just as she was about to work on trying to remove the water, she felt the other side of her move. She knew it wasn't visible, but it felt like a python had started from her left hand and slithered up her arm to her shoulder and into the flesh on her back, disappearing. It was enough to make her gag and she held a hand over her mouth to force herself not to loose the coffee she just drank. "Oh god..." That was disturbing. She hadn't felt that before. This was a bit distressing. She didn't like that feeling. She needed to bathe. She needed to get rid of the water, and she needed to feel dry so she wouldn't try using her abilities again for a bit. Not after that. No. Not for a bit.

"It's a little bitter, yeah," Lorelei got her mind off of the feeling and onto Erik. Just focus on Erik. Don't throw up and focus on Erik. "But with a bit of creamer its fine. To my liking anyway. Not sure how sweet other people like their coffee," Lorelei took a deep breathe and exhaled to ground herself. Her stomach was still doing flip flops, but she guessed it was now more out of the fact that it realized it was practically empty.
Her eyes moved over to the pan as Erik questioned if she was hungry and she looked to what he had been making. It smelt amazing, honestly. Not quite what Tian makes for breakfast, but hey, that was fine. Lorelei was done with pancakes for now. Enough sweets.
"Yeah, actually I am," she picked up the cup of coffee and downed the rest of it before she leaned over and leaned against Erik a bit as she looked at the pan. She didn't want to get him wet. "Looks good," she smiled up to him lightly before she trailed across the kitchen and dropped her cup off in the sink. "I'm going to change first though. I'll be back down in a minute," she started for the door again, pausing a moment and looking back at him. She wanted to say something. But...found herself unable to hold the words. Instead she just smiled and dashed back up the stairs to her room. She changed real quick, dried her hair and brought a towel back down with her as she cleaned up the space in the kitchen where she had stood most of the time and left some water. Not a lot, but enough.

Erik questioned about the apartment and when she wanted to go. Well, she still had a costume to find. And really, that was the most important part. She could decorate tomorrow.
"Mmm, probably tomorrow," she mused as she sat down with a bowl of breakfast. "I should actually look for a costume today, just so that part is over and done with. Decorating won't take too long," she commented, taking a bite. You know, it kind of reminded her of home. Not that fancy rich place, but home home. And Lorelei smiled, continuing to eat. "Best breakfast I've had in a while. I'm a bit over pancakes at the moment, so thank you, Erik." Her blue eyes moved up to him and she smiled, then continued to eat.
With a light snicker, Lorelei took another bite. "First bite," Lorelei could probably just put her pessimism in the situation on her not particularly liking Raven. Remembering that she had been with Erik kind of made her blood boil and that was not a good feeling. Not in the least. So she continued to eat, ignoring that little detail, and just looking over to the male sitting next to her at the table. She was the one there. Eating breakfast with him. Alone. Not Raven. Lorelei had slept with Erik for a week while she recovered. Not Raven. And a little coy smirk pulled at the corners of her lips as she looked down to her bowl. What did Lorelei have to be jealous about? If any of the girls had Erik, it was Lorelei.
#99a5b8 - blue || #774a49 - brown


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BLARG. Weird how this came about to me writing it...nom nom...um..outfit and I hope this was okay. xD