( ✿ ) - - - i want a hug { pushing daisies } // dnp.

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

“She went that way,” Olive said, pointing out the door.

Like a bullet from a gun, Ned was off. He needed to catch this woman. He needed this. It was something intrinsic, a sensation buried in his skin. The body had remained motionless when Ned had touched it. Out of all the cold dead bodies Ned had seen and touched, this was the only one to remain inanimate. The sensation was shock and fear. It was the same way Ned felt when his mother came back to life. A vein in her brain had burst, killing her instantly. Ned wasn’t sure what was going on. He was young. He wasn’t sure if his mother had died. Dizzy with fear, Ned had inched off his chair and towards his mother. Tentatively, he touched her face. What a shock it was when she sprang back to life and continued baking. Ned had been sure that she was dead, but he had managed to convince himself that he was wrong. Then she kissed him goodnight and turned back into a cold dead body. At first, Ned wasn’t sure what was going on. He had touched her face again. Ned remembered thinking that maybe his mother was alive, that she was playing some sick twisted game with him. No. Ned’s mother wad dead. She had been dead the instant that blood vessel had burst. Ned could bring back the dead. He remembered feeling amazed, shocked, numb. Right now he felt the same way. All his life, from the age of ten upwards, dead things could come back to life. Now they couldn’t. What did this mean? Did it mean that Ned no longer had the power to reanimate the dead? Did it mean that Ned could now touch Chuck? He didn’t know. The only thing that remotely resembled fact was the adrenaline pumping through Ned’s body. He had to catch this woman. He just had to.

The cold night air hit Ned like a raging bull. A cold gust stopped him in his tracks. The entire world was cast in shadow, with the street lamps shining eerily. Ned could feel the hairs on his arm stand on end. Something was off about this atmosphere. A faint echo of a cricket’s song could be heard buzzing through the frosty air. Dale Fields could be out here, Ned realized. In the darkness, the psycho serial killer could be hiding. This entire thing could be a trap. Fields, despite being slightly dull, would know that Emerson would head to the morgue. That was what any good detective would do. Taking several tentative steps backwards, Ned scanned the area. The woman seemed to be gone. But, for some strange reason, Ned had the feeling that she was still lurking somewhere. This night seemed to be cursed. There was the possibility of serial killers lurking in the foliage and there was that kiss. Why was Ned thinking about something like that at a time like this? Shaking the thoughts out of his mind, Ned returned to the morgue.

Emerson looked at him curiously. “I’m assuming that the woman is outside waiting to speak to us,” he said, the usual sarcasm coloring his tone. “She’s gone.” There was nothing else to be said. Goosebumps still stiffened Ned’s body. He could feel them down his arms, it was as if the night wind had slipped underneath his skin. Before Emerson could swear or hurtle any insults, the curator spoke, his face stoic and unexpressive as usual, “You lookin’ for that woman?” He had information to give. Everyone in the group knew that. You didn’t interrupt a conversation unless you had input. “Yes -” “What can you tell us?” Already, Emerson was fishing in his pockets for his wallet. The curator was more than willing to subsidize his income. How do you think Ned got to look at the bodies in the first place? “A name, maybe? Address? Phone number?” Emerson had peeled off a nice crisp bill and slipped it over to the curator. The curator cleared his throat and Emerson fished out another bill.
The curator said the name.

Ned’s ears perked up. He knew that woman.

Whipping towards Olive, Ned began speaking quickly. “Remember the time we stayed after and cleaned up The Pie Hole?” It was the night after Chuck and Ned argued. Chuck had moved out and Ned was devastated. So devastated and distracted, in fact, that he ended up spilling an entire bag of flour. Covered in a fine white powder, him and Olive mopped up the entire place. “That woman who came in! The drunk one!” Then a woman, leggy and gorgeous, tumbled into The Pie Hole. She was as drunk as a skunk and ended up passing out in one of the booths. If Ned wasn’t mistaken, that was the woman in the trench coat and heels.

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

Olive remembered that night very vividly. It was one of those rare times when she got to spend time alone with Ned. Well, since the pie maker's sweet faced, ex childhood sweetheart slash lover came along. Before Chuck magically showed up at the Pie Hole one day, Ned had been Olive's best friend. She spent entire evenings with him, cleaning up the shop, preparing for opening the next morning, picking up Digby so she could doggy-sit. They always had the best of times together, and frankly, she missed those days. When Chuck came to town, it was as if Ned didn't need her anymore. The opportunities she had to spend any time with him just didn't come anymore. Sure, the reason they got to be with one another that night was because of Chuck. He spilled the flour because he was so fidgety, the direct result of him losing her. But still, she wasn't around. It was like old times, save for the woman who stumbled in on their work and decided to pass out in one of the booths.

She could hardly believe that she didn't recognize the woman when she turned around and smiled at her, even if she'd only seen her face for a split second. She was the sort of person that left an impact. Olive remembered seeing her that night, and thinking about how unbelievably glamorous she was, even if she was a bit tipsy. (Name one famous who didn't have a drinking problem!) It was like looking at a blond Elizabeth Taylor, save that she had blue eyes and not those of a stunning, violet color. Even the way she tumbled into the booth had flair. Her heels- silver, not red as they were today- clicking on the tiled floor as she plopped down, sobbing as she did. They ignored each other until Ned woke her up and urged her away, telling her that she had to leave. (He was such a nice person to let her stay that long, even though they were technically closed.) However, the woman did do some incoherent babbling between her muffled cries, before she passed out. If only she could remember what she said! It might give them some sort of clue.

After a moment, further realization of the woman's identity dawned on Olive. Or rather, it hit her like a ton of bricks, right in the face. She'd seen that woman before the night she cleaned up The Pie Hole with Ned. She had even heard her name before the curator said it! "I know who she is!" The petite private eye almost-in-training couldn't help but smile at her breakthrough, excitement spreading throughout every inch of her body. "Carrie Carrigan is with a team of detectives, the ones on that billboard a few streets away! And she was crying because they sacked her for drinking on the job." She turned to Ned, looking at him as if telling him to think about that night. Not only did she babble on about how she was fired, but she also stated that she would do everything in her power to find Fields herself, so she could get her job back. "She's trying to find Fields before we, err, you do."

Olive stopped herself in the nick of time, right before she slipped again. She may have remembered a few things about the trench coat lady, but that still didn't guarantee her a spot with the team. She could almost identify with Carrie now. Every once in a while, they get to be team players. But the next time a case comes by, they're shot down. However, Emerson, Chuck, and Ned were still her friends, and she was going to help them along any way she could, just like she did when she attempted to join that other detective agency, only to end up messing with their tests and files in the end.

"All the more reason to find her and get the big a** reward."

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

Ned never thought that it would ever come to this, but he hoped that the woman, Carrie Carrigan, was flat out drunk. Being a very kind, mild-mannered man, Ned generally wished the best upon people. He never wanted anyone to be drunk or high or in any sort of altered state. However, there were always exceptions to the rule. Carrie Carrigan would be easier to catch if she was slightly tipsy, especially since she was wearing sky high red heels. Did detectives even wear heels anymore? Well, Emerson certainly didn’t, but he was male so it didn’t count. Were there any glamourous female detectives, the type you saw in movies, left? Ned didn’t think so. Nowadays cops and crime scene investigators wore latex gloves and stern faces. They weren’t the devilish heroes of the silver screen. In all truth, Ned didn’t mind. It made life safer. He didn’t have to worry about high speed chases and amazing special effects. No. All Ned had to worry about was death threats and awkward situations with supposedly dead (ex) girlfriends. Yeah . . . Ned would rather be dealing with high speech chases and bad guys with thick Russian accents.

“Alright, so someone needs to go after her - ” “You and the pie ho do it,” Emerson said quickly, gesturing at Olive and Ned. Without another word, Emerson pulled a gun from his pocket and tossed it at Ned. The pie maker fumbled as he tried to catch it. It was a gun! It could have been loaded and gone off and blown off Ned’s hands. As Ned caught it and held it steady, the barrel pointing towards the ground, he could feel his heart beat in his throat. Just having a gun made him feel nervous. Ned felt like he had to shoot someone with this weapon in hand. He peered up at Emerson nervously. “Whacchu looking at me like that for? You and the skinny blonde are going to go after her because you know her.” That wasn’t why Ned was staring nervously at Emerson. He knew that. Obviously Carrie Carrigan would freak out if a large man like Emerson came barreling after her. (Emerson was also too much of a coward to go after her, Ned knew. There was no way that man was going to risk his safety.) “Emerson, why do you have a gun?” Ned asked slowly, still staring at the cold metal in his hands. Ned had never held a gun before. “For self protection! Why else would I be carrying a gun? To look bad-a**? You’re going to need something to protect yourself.” Obviously Ned was going to need protection. He was venturing out into the darkness in search of a woman he hardly knew. Carrie Carrigan might not even remember him and Olive, she had been pretty wasted. The whole incident might have been nothing more than a black spot on her memory. “What about you?” “I have another gun in my pocket. Double the protection. And what the hell are you still doing, standing around here with your mouth open like a retard? She’s getting away!”

With that final note of encouragement, Ned turned to leave, making sure that Olive followed behind. He was uneasy about venturing out into the darkness. It had been eerie enough when Ned was alone. Olive was a tough cookie, but she was tiny. Dale Fields had been a former wrestling champion that was probably choked up on steroids. Tough cookie or not, Olive didn’t have a chance against that. Hell, Ned didn’t even have a chance against that. Closing the door behind him, Ned looked at Olive, holding the gun out for her to take. “I think you better hold it.” Ned wanted to add, I don’t want you to get hurt or I just want you to stay safe, but he couldn’t make any sounds. He was too nervous and he could still taste Olive’s lips on his. Lord, this night was going downhill fast.

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

As much as she wanted to be a part of the action, Olive now wanted even more to be back in the morgue. She would rather be in the same room with the man that had been killed by being repeatedly run over with a potato peeler. She would rather watch Ned and Chuck going at it! Anything but this. Well, anything but this and that last thought. She never once thought she'd be put into a situation like this. In the dark, searching for a woman she knew nothing about, reaching out for a gun that she didn't want to take. It was probably a good idea to do it, but she had never even held a gun before, save for a plastic one. What if she accidentally fired it, killing herself and the pie maker in the process? Then again, what if Dale Fields was in the shadows, looking for them? She was so busy wishing that she was anywhere but here that she forgot to acknowledge that possibility. This whole thing with Carrie Carrigan could be one huge trap. For all she knew, the glamorous detective, if she even was one, could be in the league with the mass murderer. And they could be just sitting around waiting for them to come out. Nervously, the petite pie ho reached out, her fingers curling around the weapon. "Are you sure?" Thanks a lot, Emerson. She was beginning to wonder what she was more afraid of: the gun, or the murderer. "I'm not really experienced with this."

Olive wasn't experienced with any of this, not one thing that had happened that day. First, it was the awkward lunch, when Chuck actually acknowledged Ned's presence by agreeing with him. Then came the kiss. The short, but amazing kiss that felt right and natural and lovely. Then it was the morgue, the gun, looking for this woman, and the fact that she and Ned were alone. In the dark. With no one around. After the kiss, and what would have become something like a date, if Emerson hadn't interrupted them, she would have been extremely pleased to be in a situation like that. Alone, in the dark, and with Ned. However, she was also alone, in the dark, with Ned, following a strange and mysterious woman, with a gun, where a mass murderer might be hiding. If that didn't put a damper on a relationship, she didn't know what did. And to make matters worse, she was becoming more and more nervous as time passed, her heart beating so quickly and loudly that she swore the man by her side would be able to hear it. It almost muffled the sound of footfalls in the distance.

Click, clack.

She swallowed hard, eyes darting toward the sound. "Did you hear that?" She spoke to Ned in a hushed whisper, not because she was trying to stay quiet, but because she somehow couldn't manage to make her voice any louder. Fear often did that to her, she knew. The noises sounded like they were made by a woman, as they were light, and also because of the distinct sound of heels on the concrete ground. The image of Carrie Carrigan dressed in her long trench coat immediately came into Olive's mind, and she started wracking her brain, trying to figure out what to do. Did they approach her, or let her come to them? What if it wasn't even her? What if it was another prowler, out to do them harm? Emerson may have put Fields in jail once already, but they knew nothing about him or his efforts now. How could they know that he wasn't planning his escape for months, gaining followers and people to aid in capturing the private investigator that put him in the slammer? The two of them could be meeting their death, right here, alone, in the dark.

Suddenly, there came odd, shuffling sort of sound, almost like someone tripping and then trying to catch their balance. Olive began to wonder what it was, but after a second, her chance to do so was taken away. Without even knowing how it happened, the very same tipsy, gorgeous detective was on the street before the pair, trying to keep herself from tumbling to the ground. "Didn't I see you somewhere before?" In her current state, Carrie Carrigan didn't look harmless, but how were they to know? It could all be an act. Her tumbling into the Pie Hole could have been planned, a way to spy on Dale Field's latest victims. Olive bit down on her lip. What was she to do? Answer her? Run? Running seemed like a good idea, but weren't their instructions to find her and get her back to the morgue so they could talk to her? "You saw me in the morgue." She said finally, in an effort to at least divert her attention from Ned. Ned was the one who was really in trouble here. He had more involvement in the Field's case than she did. He was the one that needed to be out of harm's way, not her. And she was going to make sure nothing happened to him.

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

Olive was so tiny. That gun looked out of place, as if it could swallow her whole. It simply looked too big in Olive’s tiny little hands. At the same time, Olive looked like she could handle the weapon. There was a strength in that little frame of hers. It was a strength of will that the pie maker always admired. Still, he felt uncomfortable with her holding the gun. He shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place. “Do you want me to ta-” Ned was cute off by the slurred speech of an incredibly tipsy Carrie Carrigan. She stumbled towards them, obviously intoxicated. Her eyes were fixed directly on Ned, like a tiger on the prowl. The pie maker fidgeted nervously, her gaze made him slightly uncomfortable. Hell, Carrie’s hungry eyes could have made a certified man whore feel a little violated. “Didn’t I see you somewhere before?” she asked slowly. Carrie was trying to be seductive, but failing miserably. She was veering off the road and her words were slurred together. Either way, Ned still got the general impression. Carrie Carrigan was drunk and ready for sex. Ned opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Olive. “You saw me in the morgue.”

Carrie looked around, dazed and trying to locate the owner of the voice. Eventually she trained her eyes on Olive. “Oh! Hi thereeee.” Yep, Carrie Carrigan was definitely drunk. She wasn’t tipsy. She wasn’t a little intoxicated. She was flat out drunk. “I didn’t see you there. Awww. Aren’t you cute the cutest thing ever.” Carrie bent over and pinched Olive’s cheek. Now Ned regretted giving Olive the gun. They were near a morgue, but still, Ned doubted it would be wise to murder anyone here. Ned put his hand on Carrie’s elbow and slowly eased the intoxicated woman away from Olive. Carrie straightened up. She was a tall woman, only a few inches shorter than Ned. Ned got a feeling that this might annoy Olive. He better fix this situation fast. After all, Olive was the one with the gun. “Hi, I’m Ned. I think we have met befor-” “Mmmm. Of course we have, handsome.” Carrie stepped forward and traced a finger down Ned’s chest. He was beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe Olive shooting Carrie wouldn’t be a bad thing . . . “I would never forget a face like yours. Where did we -” Carrie hiccuped. It wasn’t very attractive, even on a tall blonde woman such as herself. Ned found that he liked short blondes a lot more. “- meet, hot shot?”

Ned shot a terrified glance at Olive. He had always been tall, lanky, and just a little awkward. Still, that didn’t mean that Ned was socially retarded. He might not have been completely comfortable with strangers and human contact, but Ned was able to respond appropriately to situations. Obviously, Carrie wanted to get down and dirty with him. Uh huh. That wasn’t going to happen. But Ned needed to talk to her and figure out why the body wouldn’t reanimate to his touch. Ned smiled and put his hand on the small of her back. “Why don’t you walk with me. I think we need to talk.” Carrie smiled devilishly and grabbed Ned’s a**. He jumped slightly, shocked that she would even try such a thing. “I’m all up for talking sweet cheeks. But is there anything to eat? I’m starving.”

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

So much for Carrie being the glamorous, 1940's Hollywood-type detective. Instead of admiring the tall, gorgeous blond, Olive now wanted to race at her full speed ahead, tackle her, and claw her eyes out. She could have dealt with her being completely drunk. She could have looked past how annoying she was, how she had gushed at her and even gone so far as to touch her cheek as if she were a child. However, she couldn't stand for her disgusting attempts at trying to get in Ned's pants, including the very obvious booty grab as they all walked back toward the morgue. Olive wanted Ned. She had wanted Ned for the longest time, and tonight, she finally got the smallest glimmer of hope. She certainly wasn't going to allow some annoying, drunk beauty with amazing legs to sweep in and take him. There was no doubt in her mind that the pie maker would prefer Carrie to her. She was pretty, possibly seductive when she wasn't hiccuping all over the place, and Ned wouldn't have to look down a mile when he wanted to talk to her. He may be sweet and kind and adorable, but he was also a man. All of a sudden, the gun in her hand was looking pretty friendly. They only had a little while to go before they got to the morgue, and there were only the three of them there. They could say it was self defense...

Olive sighed, knowing that she had to go along with it, at least for a little while. She may be tiny, but she was also tough, and she had been through this situation before. With Chuck. All that time of yearning for Ned, all the while having to be there watching while he made out with his lady love. Except this time it was worse. She supported Chuck because she liked Chuck. Carrie, however, was completely intolerable. And Ned could touch her. The evidence of that was right there in the open, when she decided to be fresh with him. She didn't know that she could stand watching any more of this. "We could go to The Pie Hole!" The response to Carrie's question was a little too perky for their situation. However, going to The Pie Hole was somewhat of a blessing. Ned and the gang could talk to the drunken blond for however long they wanted, and she could keep herself busy by baking an extraordinarily delicious pie. One that would take forever to cook. That way, Olive could be out of the kitchen and have something to focus on, so that her mind would be off seeing Ned and Carrie together. "Pie is always good, right? No matter what time it is. You guys can talk, and I can bake."

For a moment, Carrie Carrigan's attention was off Ned, and onto her competition. She seemed to beam down at Olive, pausing on the street to pat the hair on her head, which made the smaller woman cringe. "How sweet of you!" She exclaimed, turning back to the pie maker. "Isn't she the cutest, most adorable thing you've ever seen?" The comment was followed by a high pitched giggle, the kind that you'd expect to come from a school girl in a Japanese comic. It made Olive wanted to wring her neck even more, but she still managed to smile. "Why don't we grab Chuck and Emerson, and then head to The Pie Hole? Emerson won't mind; he's always hungry." She really hoped Ned wouldn't mind her taking the reigns on this one, but she really needed this. Just the sight of Carrie was making her sick, and she needed to be somewhere that she could focus on other things. Like pie.

{ ooc: sorry this took so terribly long! Mid-terms and such. Plus now I gotta do a huge assignment for tomorrow, and a research paper. Woohoo for me! }

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

Thank God for Olive and her quick-thinking mind. As Carrie looped her arm through Ned’s, the pie-maker shot a desperate look back at Olive. The grimace on his face said it loud and clear. SAVE ME! Ned could still feel the ghost of her hand on his a**. It was a very uncomfortable feeling and Ned didn’t like it. In fact, he felt violated by the fact that Carrie even went there. a**-grabbing was not something to be taken lightly. Add that to the innate shyness and social awkwardness of the pie-maker and his displeasure should not be a surprise. “The Pie Hole sounds like a great idea!” Ned was doing that thing where he was talking loudly and acting awkward and rigid. His voice sounded mechanical and his body froze. His eye also started twitching a little. Ned’s eye twitched when he was lying or uncomfortable. In this case, Ned was incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t want Carrie on his arm! He wanted Olive! Not only did he have to entertain the notion of breaking up with Chuck and pursuing a real relationship with Olive (the idea brought a dry bump to Ned’s throat), but it seemed that he would also have to entertain Carrie as well.

“Yep. Pie is always good. Olive makes a mean pie. It doesn’t matter what time it is, pie is good.” Crap. Ned was rambling. He usually wasn’t this bad around new company. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that CARRIE GRABBED HIS a**. Maybe, just maybe. Ned clamped his jaw shut. There had been enough awkward rambling from him for one night. “Isn’t she the cutest, most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?” Carrie followed the comment with a high pitched giggle that made Ned jump slightly. The tall blonde bent over and pinched Olive’s cheeks. Ned knew that Olive wouldn’t like that. He put his hand on Carrie’s shoulder and drew her away slightly. “I think we better get back to Emerson quickly. It’s not really safe out here.” Carrie fluttered her eyelashes and stared at Ned. He could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Aren’t you the sweetest thing ever?” she drawled, attempting to be seductive. Carrie stumbled and Ned caught her, avoiding eye contact. “Uhhh - Miss Carrigan . . . I have a girlfriend.”

Carrie’s eyes lit up at that. She turned to Olive and beamed. “Awww!” she squealed. “You two are just so cute together. But how ‘bout it honey, up for another? You seem like a gentleman who prefers blondes.” Ned wasn’t sure what he preferred. He seemed to be trapped between a rock and a hardplace. Actually, he seemed to be trapped between a rock, a hardplace, and Carrie Carrigan. Ned didn’t bother to state that Olive wasn’t his girlfriend. Why the hell had he said that anyway?! Olive wasn’t his girlfriend, neither was Chuck. Ned’s whole state of affairs was a mess. All he knew was that he would have loved to have Olive as a girlfriend . . . “N-n-no thank you,” Ned stuttered. Carrie was making him very uncomfortable now. She clung to his arm in her drunken stupor. Ned was uncertain if she could have walked without her help.

“What the hell took you so long?! Did you bring her - ” “We’re going to the pie hole.” Ned stated the fact. There was no way he was going to stand around the morgue. Emerson looked at Ned, cocking an eyebrow. “There will be pie.” That seemed like all the urging Emerson needed. Within a heartbeat, Emerson, Ned, Chuck, Olive, and Carrie were all crammed into Ned’s car and headed to The Pie Hole. Chuck eyed Carrie wearily, but didn’t say anything. Carrie rode shotgun and giggled drunkenly at everything she heard. It would have been entertaining if Ned hadn’t been so stressed. The threat of possible murderers, bodies that were no longer reanimated, and scorned lovers loomed above his head. Ned got the nagging feeling that Carrie shouldn’t be near Olive or Chuck - Chuck especially. When the reached the pie hole, Ned grabbed a pan of pie, plates, and some milk. The pie was cold, as it had been baked hours ago. “So, Carrie,” Ned began awkwardly, not really wanting to talk to the woman. “Are you a detective? I saw you leaving the morgue.” What Ned really wanted to ask was, did you tamper with the dead body?

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

Cold or not, pie was pie. And this pie was not just any pie. This was triple berry harvest pie, probably the best pie in the entire world. Carrie couldn't wait to dig in, and as soon as the pan was set down on the table, she reached for it. Probably even faster than Emerson! Even she was amazed at how slim and pretty she could stay while eating pie all of the time. Normally, she went to this little place down the street. However, she was thinking that she'd have to come to The Pie Hole more often, maybe even become a regular! If only for the cutie who ran it. He was absolutely adorable! It was a real shame that he was involved with the tiny girl that hung out with him. She was cute, but a guy like that needed a real woman. She would have to show him that. She nodded at the pie maker's question, her blond ringlets falling into her eyes with the motion. "Mmmhhm. One of the best detectives in town!" Carrie made it a point to glance at Emerson as she said this, before bringing a piece of delicious pie into her mouth. Yep, she was definitely going to have to come here more often. "But I'm going solo on this case. You know, the potato guy." They probably all knew that she was sacked, but she couldn't say it out loud. Instead, she raised the fork to her lips one more time, ready consume another bite. That is, until Olive, with reflexes like a cat, snatched her plate.

"Ned, Carrie is our guest. You can't make her eat cold pie!" For a while, she had thought that she'd be able to hold out through this meeting. Carrie wasn't making any more advances on Ned, (so far. It was probably only because it was hard to grab someone's a** from across a table.) and they weren't talking about anything bothering. However, she was soon finding that the mere sight of the blond detective was driving her insane. She needed to get out of the room, and fast. This plan of hers was the only thing she could think of. She could still be close to the action, listening in, but she didn't have to be sitting by Carrie Carrigan. "No, really, it's fine. You don't have to-" Olive was ready to fume. She could see past the nice act! "Nonsense! I can whip up the best pie you've ever eaten, and it won't take long!" After a moment, Carrie nodded. With the little one gone, she could be a lot closer to the pie maker. Much, much closer. "Awww! Thanks so much, you sweet little thing!" Olive could only smile, grabbing Chuck as she dashed toward the kitchen. Even though they were in a rough spot with each other, she wanted Chuck to be away from the action as well. If she was already annoyed with Carrie, then Chuck must be feeling it ten fold.

"I promise I won't put any Cyanide in it." The comment was made really for her own enjoyment, but the thought was a charming one. It wouldn't take much to make the dumb blonde keel over, and then she definitely wouldn't be able to sexually assault Ned. "This time." Olive then got to work, baking the most delicious, most time consuming pie that she ever made. It was a real shame that her masterpiece had to be wasted on someone like Carrie, but she figured that it was just practice for when she had to cook for someone really special. Like Ned. "Hey, thanks for getting me out of there." Just as she'd thought. Poor Chuck! Forced to listen to all that nonsense. at least she hadn't been there when Carrie decided to be fresh with Ned. "Can I ask you something?" Olive turned to her, nodding her head. "Should I break up with Ned?"

"Uhhh..." How was she supposed to answer that?! She wanted to say yes with all of her heart, so that she could get together with Ned. However, that would hurt Chuck. And if she did end up getting together with Ned, if he was even interested that after what happened with Carrie, there was going to be some major tension between she and her roommate. "Do you, um, want to break up?" "Well, we're not going anywhere currently. And he's not making any moves to break up with me. I don't want to just stand here in the middle." Olive needed something to occupy herself with, anything to keep herself from freaking out. She began mixing things. All kinds of fruit, to make the best pie filling she'd ever made. "I'm not really the person you should be asking." "Well, let's face it. You've known Ned longer than I have-" Oh God, she'd rather be sitting out there with Carrie right now.

Speaking of Carrie. "So what about you?" In the heat of the room, she removed her trench coat, revealing a very classy, low cut designer blouse and a tight skirt beneath. She leaned forward a little bit, as though to get a bit closer to the pie maker. "I know you're a detective." This was directed at Emerson, not Ned. "What do you do, handsome? What's a five-star pie maker doing at the morgue?"

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

Apparently Carrie had never had a slice of humble pie in her life. The rouge detective prattled on and on. Technically she only said two sentences, but to Ned it felt like an entire monologue. Around her he felt squeamish - and not in a good way. Olive made him feel squeamish in a good way. Carrie just made Ned want to run for the hills and never turn back. Even after Ned told her that he had a girlfriend, Carrie was still making advances towards him, staring unabashedly and licking the spoon suggestively. “I’m going solo on this case. You know, the potato guy.” She was bragging, drawing circles in the air with her spoon. She caught Ned’s eyes (despite his attempts to keep his focus on the table) and made a face that was supposed to be seductive. It wasn’t. It was scary and made Ned feel slightly queezy. “Oh really?” Emerson said. He wasn’t happy either. Emerson didn’t like the fact that another detective was on the case. Sure, it meant that there was a greater chance that someone could capture fields before he murdered another, i.e. Emerson. However, another detective meant a chance that the reward might not go to him. Emerson was already hesitant about a three way split. “What were you doing in the morgue then?” “Investigating.” The duh was heavily implied.

The almost-fight was broken up by Olive proclaiming that it was rude to force Carrie to eat cold pie. "I promise I won't put any Cyanide in it." What a shame, Ned thought. It would have made their lives a whole lot easier. “Let me help -” Ned was quickly cut off by Carrie, who leaned across the table and grabbed his arm. What was up with this woman and physical contact?! “What do you do, handsome? What's a five-star pie maker doing at the morgue?” Ned smiled nervously and eased back into his seat. Carrie’s hand was still on his arm. As kindly as he could, Ned withdrew his limb from her evil clutches. “Investigating,” Ned said simply, mirroring her answer. He shot a quick look at the kitchen. Olive and Chuck were talking. Usually Ned would have assumed the worst. If it was an average day, the pie maker would simply reason that they were talking about him and all his pitfalls. Gossiping women always made him nervous. Ned doubted that there was a man on earth who wasn’t afraid of chatty women - except for the fabulous gay ones, of course. Those men were even more terrifying than the women. “Excuse me - I’m going to go check on your pie.” As he slid from the booth, Carrie began to laugh uncontrollably. It was obviously the alcohol. She giggled until tears formed at the corners of her eyes. It was like she was laughing at an inside joke that nobody but herself could understand. “If only the dead could talk, eh? That would help us with our job.” She smiled wickedly, thinking that this was just her own personal secret. Ned stared at her, horrified. His expression was mirrored by Chuck and Emerson.

“What did you say?” “I said, if only the dead could talk. Wouldn’t it be funny if they just sprang up and started telling you everything. That would be an investigator’s dream.” Ned hadn’t moved. Did she know. Carrie turned to Ned and winked. “Aw, honey - do you have a fear of dead things? Your face looks like death all warmed up.” She laughed at her own joke. Ned turned on this heel and raced into the kitchen, head down. He wasn’t paying attention and almost bumped into Chuck. It was a close call. For a brief second, all that separated the two was a tiny sliver of air. Ned looked at Chuck, his eyes terrified. He didn’t want her to die - not again. There might not be anything left in their relationship, but Ned still wanted Chuck to live. “Sorry,” he murmured, taking a step back so that there was a safe distance between them. Chuck looked at Ned. She took a moment to catch her breath. She had had a close call there. “Does she know?” Chuck hissed under her breath. Ned glanced up at Chuck, semi-surprised that she was speaking to him. The two had been separated for months. Funny how togetherness feels alien after a while. “I don’t know.” Ned paused. “Chuck, I know this isn’t the best time to talk about it, but -” “I think we should break up.”

Ned looked at Chuck, surprised. She read the hurt on his face and began to explain herself. “It’s just that -” Ned cut her off. “That was what I was about to say.”

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

A drunken Carrie Carrigan, or Ned and Chuck’s breakup? Olive couldn’t decide which she would rather be present for. The gorgeous, blond investigator made her feel sick to her stomach. However, she didn’t really want to barge in on the pie maker’s business, especially after what had happened earlier that night. Well, all through the night really. First it was the meeting at his apartment, where she’d fallen into his arms and they’d kissed. Then, when they went outside to find Carrie. She thought they were together. In that moment, it was like something sparked, causing electric energy to run through her veins instead of blood. She dearly wished that Carrie was right. Even now, as Chuck announced that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, Olive couldn’t honestly say that some part of her wasn’t happy. She didn’t want either of them to feel bad or depressed or hurt, but she also couldn’t ignore the possibility that maybe she could be one half of the couple of the year this time. Maybe this time she'd get lucky. Maybe this time, love wouldn't hurry away. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Olive went around to the oven. Hopefully the pie would be done by now, and she could give Ned and Chuck some space. If anything, the pie maker might be grateful that she was able to hold Carrie off for a while.

"You were?" Chuck couldn't believe it. It wasn't something that she'd ever wanted to think about, but when she did consider the possibility that she and Ned might not last forever, she had always envisioned her breaking up with him. Ned just wasn't the kind of person to break up with someone. He was too shy and sweet for that. He'd taken a month and some time to even ask if they could lay the line down and officially declare themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. And now, he wanted to break up with her. Well, they wanted to break up with each other, but still. At least this way, it wouldn't be so bad. They were both in agreement."I'm really sorry, Ned." Normally, a person would say that she was sorry when she wanted to make something sound better. Usually, it wasn't sincere. Yet, she was sorry. There was some part of her, and she didn't know how big or small that part was, that still wanted to be with Ned. She still loved Ned, if she could even call what they had "love." All this time, after her told her that he killed her father, she was wondering if they were really supposed to last. They had been kids the last time they saw each other, childhood sweethearts. Relationships like that only stood a chance in movies, even without the whole touching and dying thing. It was just too complicated to go anywhere. "We can still talk and be friends, right? Go investigating, making pie, yes?" Well, she didn't want to say goodbye forever. Who would?

"Who wants pie?" Olive managed to get out of the kitchen right when Chuck said that she was sorry. She didn't know how long this was going to go on, but she figured that she shouldn't leave Emerson alone with Carrie while it all unfolded. That woman was evil. And hungry. As soon as the petite waitress set the pan on the table, it was like a silent battle broke out. Both private investigators dove in for the sweet, fruity goodness like two lions fighting over a dead warthog. She almost laughed at the scene. The flighty blond versus reliable, huge Emerson Cod. "Well, there's enough for everyone." As she sat down at the table, most of the triple berry harvest pie was gone. However, she wasn't bothered. If even one bite touched her lips, she was sure that she would just spit it back up. Carrie had that effect on people. At least, she had that effect on her.

"Yeah, a dream all right. Too bad it could never happen." Olive had no idea what they talked about while she was gone, but when Emerson said this, Carrie began to giggle uncontrollably. It was high-pitched, even more so than Olive's laugh, and it made her blood boil and turn to ice at the very same time. "It can happen!" She said between blasts of laughter. "I've seen it!" All of a sudden, Emerson's face turned purple. He looked from Carrie to Ned and Chuck, who didn't seem to be paying much attention to what was going on outside of the kitchen. "What? You've seen it?" Carrie hiccuped. "Did I stutter?" What was she going on about? Olive wanted to know. "What did you see? I want to know!"

"Awwwww! You want in on the secret too? Okay then, I'll tell you!" Emerson's eyes grew wide with fear and rage. "See, I have a gift. I can make dead things come back to life." Yeah. Sure. Okay. "Just by touching them!" As if sensing Olive's disbelief, Carrie then put up a finger and laid it on a dead daisy in the glass by the window. It automatically sprang to life, all of its color returning to the petals and leaves. Surely, it had to be a parlor trick. "An investigator and a magician?" She would have been excited if Carrie didn't annoy her so much. "No, silly! Didn't you see what happened? No magician can do that."

[stick me on]

NEDxxxxxxxxx
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTHE PIE MAKER

If it wasn’t for the fact that a single touch could cause Chuck to crumple to the floor and remain dead forever, Ned probably would have reached across the divide and placed his hand on hers. Thus, the two of them civilly marked the end of a decade-long relationship. And, as Chuck said, they would always have pie and murder mysteries and the ever-present threat of angry men by the name of Dale Fields. What lovely things to have in common with someone. (Pie was actually a lovely thing. The murder mysteries and Dale Fields were sarcastic.) “Yep, pie and investigating sound good.” Funny - Ned also had those things in common with Olive. Alright, so maybe the two of them didn’t go investigating often, but once or twice counted - right? Dammit. Ned and Chuck had just broken up, but what did that mean for him and Olive? “At least one thing will stay the same?” “What else is there, besides pie and murder?” Those two things could make up a very happy, wholesome life. (Not.) “You still can’t touch me.”

Ned stopped for a second. It was true. After all they had been through, Ned and Chuck still couldn’t touch. There was a sort of bitter irony in that fact. Ned smiled. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. The only woman he wanted to touch was Olive. He could touch Olive. Olive wouldn’t be dead forever because he had touched her. Looking around, Ned could see that Olive was serving the pie to Carrie. That was good. Chuck wouldn’t have made the ‘you still can’t touch me’ comment if Olive was around. The reason behind that was that Olive didn’t know the pie maker’s secret. But now Ned was deviating, his mind was straying from the appropriate train of thought. Gently shaking his head, Ned pointed to the table. “I’m going to go get some lemonade. See you at the table?” Chuck smiled. “See you at the table.” With that, Chuck swiveled on her heel and her dress floated around her knees. Chuck walked towards the table and slid into the seat across from Carrie. Smart move. No one wanted to be near the drunken detective. Opening the fridge door, Ned grabbed a pitcher of lemonade (the one that he had made during lunch) and walked back to the table. Placing the pitcher on the table and pouring everyone a glass, Ned (with great displeasure) took a seat next to Carrie.

“Oh look Ned. Carrie can do magic tricks,” Emerson said, sarcasm and faux enthusiasm dripping from every word. “Yes! I can! Do you want to see? Of course you want to see.” Carrie giggled and hiccuped. Pointing to the small vase that sat in the middle of the table, Carrie asked, “Ned darling, could you please hand me one of those flowers?” Without thinking, Ned reached out and pulled a daisy from the vase. It’s petals were beginning to brown and the stem drooped slightly. It was an aging flower, slowly dying. The moment Ned touched it, the daisy sprung back to life, filled with color and strength. Seeing this, Carrie’s eyes grew to the size of pie pans. “OH MY GOD!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands and planting a big, wet kiss on Ned’s cheek. Ned winced. He could feel the lipstick mark her kiss left. “Look everyone! Ned can bring things back to life! See Emerson! The dead can speak after all.” With that, Carrie grabbed the daisy from Ned’s hand and began waving it in the air. The moment her fingers touched the stem, the daisy wilted and was dead forever. Ned, Chuck, and Emerson exchanged terrified looks.

Ned and Emerson exchanged terrified looks. Then, in perfect sync, they turned their gaze to Olive. She was the only one who didn’t know the pie maker’s secret. It seemed that she did now. Fear shot through Ned’s veins. What was Olive going to think of him? Was she going to turn him in? Would she think he was a freak? Would she ever love him? Ughhhh. Carrie stopped waving the flower around like a manic retard and pouted. “Awww. It’s dead,” she said, trying to make her voice sound cute. She looked at Ned and threw the flower at him. The daisy bounced off his cheek and landed on the table. The daisy was still dead.

First touch: life.

Second touch: dead, forever.

Chuck bolted from the booth.

[annies boobs]

olive snook
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't mess with this pie ho!

WHAT THE HELL?!

Olive loved magic shows, so she knew almost every trick in the book. This, a dead daisy coming back to life and then dying again, was not one of them. It couldn't have been like the ever famous ripping a dove's head off and then putting it back together ploy. There was no sleight of hand here, nothing that Ned and Carrie could have pulled off together. Besides, why would they be doing magic tricks in the first place? It didn't make sense. What had happened defied all logic. The dead coming back to life? It was impossible! But... it sort of explained a few things. The detective within Olive sprang forward, beginning to work. The gears in her head were turning, trying to put things together and make sense of it all. Without speaking for quite a long time, she just stared at the pie maker, refusing to look at the drunken blond by his side.

First, she thought of all the fruit in Ned's back room. All the dead fruit. No one had ever known it was there before, until the candy shop across the street sent in a fake health inspector in an attempt to try and shut The Pie Hole down. There had been crates full of dead fruit, from wall to wall, all over the place. It would be awfully cheap to buy rotting fruit, or just never buy any new fruit, and then bring it back to life to use in a pie. No one would know the difference! Point number one. Then, Olive's thought moved on to the morgue. Earlier, she was wondering what exactly went on in there. She realized that real investigators would spend hours with dead bodies, trying to look at them, poke at them, and figure out what happened to them. When Ned, Chuck, and Emerson went in there, they rarely spent more than five minutes. That was hardly enough time to check out a body properly. Point two.

And then there was Chuck. Chuck, who bolted out of the booth immediately after seeing the daisy die in Carrie's hands. That definitely indicated that something bothered her. Maybe. No. Definitely not. But then... Ned and Chuck couldn't touch. They went to extremes to make sure that they didn't. There was the divider in the pie maker's car, kissing each other through plastic wrap. Announcing when they were coming and going so they didn't accidentally run into each other. Maybe Ned wasn't allergic to Chuck, Olive thought. Maybe it had something to do with what had just happened. It sounded crazy, even to her, but what other explanation was there? Everyone, Chuck, Ned, and Emerson, were all looking at her, wondering what she was thinking. Was she going to run away? No. Was she going to scream? She wanted to. Was she going to think any differently of them all? Well, yes. She wanted to say no, but this changed things quite a bit. It did not, however, change how she felt about Ned. Olive still wanted to be with him, to touch him. A little thing like being able to bring the dead back to life wasn't going to change that.

She drew in a breath. Time to get some answers.

"So... Ned can bring things back to life. Not just flowers, but people too." Everyone at the table, except for Carrie nodded. Olive gestured in her direction. "And she can as well." More nodding. "Except, when you touch something again, it dies?" Again with the nodding. Olive fell quiet now, and the silence seemed to spread across the entire room. Everyone knew what was coming next: Chuck. Would she get it right? Before speaking again, Olive glanced over at Carrie. Thankfully, she wasn't paying much attention. Rather, she was gobbling down the pie that had been brought out earlier. "And Ned and Chuck can't touch each other because Chuck died." Chuck answered her aloud, but Olive didn't answer. She started thinking back to when she'd first met Chuck, when all of the crazy stuff started happening. It wasn't crazy like bringing dead people back to life, but crazy with all the lying and the secrets. Her finding out that one of the aunts was actually Chuck's mother, for example. Well, that was in the past now. What mattered now was that she knew the big secret, and she wasn't freaking out.

"Well," Her tone was a bit more bright than it should have been. "I guess this makes a lot more sense than you two being allergic to each other!"