I’m coming home, I’m coming home [ private ]

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.	100.0%	[ 8 ]
Total Votes:			[ 8 ]

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

Laughing, I took Cassie back into my arms.
I held her so her head rested on my shoulder.

"Neither am I Nic, she's just hungry.
or has a dirty diaper,
or still tired...
Maybe all three. "


See? I didn't know why she was crying
__________ but it was adorable how spooked Nic got,
I was finding joy in so many things right now,
nothing could burst my bubble.

___________ So, I decided to go warm up a bottle
of formula,
and change her diaper at the same time.
_______ she wasn't squalling right now
but still whimpering.

____________ I think I can do this.
___________________ it wasn't going to be so bad, was it?

I knew she wasn't going to be a newborn forever.
_____ that eventually, she'll be more demanding
and not sleeping all the time.
_________ but I'm sure I can give her that attention

but what about Nic?
________ he's important too,
he needs attention too.

__________ but what sort of attention?
Its not like he ever really wanted
to go out anyway, so whatever
we wanted to do was going to
have to be at home.

Cassie's attention,
and Nic's attention would
be different things.

_____ but I guess I really really needed to grow up now?
didn't I?

____________ I was a parent,
___ a role model.

I was going to teach her so many things,
she was going to be part of the generation
we all wished for.
_________ I want to be around in a world of peace.
I want her to grow up in a world of peace.


eventually I've got Cassie
satisfied with her bottle,
___________ and I sit back down on the couch,
sighing with a little smile.
I look to Nic, with a little grin.


"Hey, why don't you try feeding her?
She won't cry now,
she'll fall asleep in your arms. "









say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

[awake sleeper]

He grew up just a little too fast
lost and need's all in his past
I can hear him hummin' from the other side of the room
guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums every time he's blue

broken glass and a pretty face
silent mourn full of hate
quiet face, silent mind screaming for consequence
bleeding for more.

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

Sitting down close to him,
___________ I could tell something was bothering him
and I frowned a little bit at this.

But, it made me so happy to see him holding her.

___________ It was precious to me.


He said that he was going to be okay with it,

_______ that he was going to stay with me

when the baby was here. When Cassie was here.

but that was before some s**t happened,
___________ and now we weren't exactly perfect,

but I still loved him, all the same.

__________ I leaned over and kissed the side of his head,

curling up next to him as I watched Cassie.



"Is something bothering you babe? "


I sighed,
__________ and I closed my eyes for a few seconds.
and I breathed in his scent,

__________ us being so close had been a privilege lately.




"And what do you mean by its going to be harder to
do stuff with her around? "


What stuff did we do anyway?

__________ don't tell me he was going to be magically
okay with going out now that she's here.









say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

[awake sleeper]

He grew up just a little too fast
lost and need's all in his past
I can hear him hummin' from the other side of the room
guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums every time he's blue

broken glass and a pretty face
silent mourn full of hate
quiet face, silent mind screaming for consequence
bleeding for more.

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

This moment was ruined by those words
________________ and I knew by then that he really was never
_________ going to let that go.
He was never going to let me forget it.
He was never going to be completely okay with it


" Oh. "



______________ my smile fell slowly.
______ I was just about knocked down from my
giddy high,
______ my heart strained yet it eased a little
when I looked down to
Cassie.

______________ I was never going to let it be her fault,

_______________________________________ it would always be mine


I moved away from Nic,
___________ suddenly feeling very bad

_____ rubbing my arms.
_____ _ _ _ _ I didn't look at him.


" Sorry."


It was a pathetic way to say it,
________ and all I ever really say to anything bad I do


"I'll be right back. You hungry? "

I was quiet with my words,
_________ and I stood away from the couch,
I really was hungry,
_______ and I was going to fix that

even if it was just going to be toast with organic peanut butter,
all I was going to bother to make.

____________ but once I was in the kitchen alone,
__ I didn't do anything as I leaned against the counter
for a good minute or two.

________________ why did he have to say it like that?

I knew he didn't like this,
__________ and I knew he wasn't going to let me forget it
he was going to remind me of it,
_________ any chance he got.


that is what was going to happen, wasn't it?


___________ with a sigh, I started to go make that toast
I wanted,
______ even if with the way I was feeling,
there would be the possibility of me throwing it up.






say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

[awake sleeper]

He grew up just a little too fast
lost and need's all in his past
I can hear him hummin' from the other side of the room
guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums every time he's blue

broken glass and a pretty face
silent mourn full of hate
quiet face, silent mind screaming for consequence
bleeding for more.

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

when the toast was done,
____ and the peanut butter was spread on
I barely tasted it

________________________ I think I might of lost some weight again, haven't been paying attention.

I didn't want to think,
________ didn't want to think.

but he came,
_________ and I still couldn't help but smile when
I saw him carrying Cassie.

________ I wanted to take a picture of it,
____ I should start doing that,
taking pictures and everything,
to remember our lives,
______ as a whole

even if Nic would want me to hide any,
_____ or something,
to hide evidence.


" I know, I know. "

my voice is soft, and I kiss his lips
________ I step back, place some more bread into the
toaster,

and as cute as it was,
___________ seeing Nic hold my little girl,
I knew he was going to get tired of it,
I didn't,
____________ but do you think it was time for her to try out her new crib?

__________ Carefully and slowly,
I smile gently and have her in my arms again,
___________ I just look and I move carefully,
taking her to the room that could be called hers now.

________ with cassie in the crib, safely,
I return to my other love,
nic.
________ being close to him, I cherished it now,
much more then ever,
_________ it had been a while since he wasn't so worried about
someone peeking in on him,
________ he probably still a little was,
always was.



" We'll get through it. "


I hoped, I wished.

trying to lighten the mood,
__________ to forget,
I take some of my peanut butter,
_______ smear it against the corner of his lips,
and then attempt to kiss it off,

______________________ if he was scared someone would walk in like always,
even in the comfort of out home he could push away,
like always.

I could remember how nervous he was once,
______ I thought it was really cute, and that he'd grow out of it,
but in the end, he really hadn't.
___________ but he did when we were alone,
and that was completely different.









say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

[awake sleeper]

He grew up just a little too fast
lost and need's all in his past
I can hear him hummin' from the other side of the room
guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums every time he's blue

broken glass and a pretty face
silent mourn full of hate
quiet face, silent mind screaming for consequence
bleeding for more.

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

_______________________________ like a real family

I don't know why that made me so
_______ so happy to hear that pass his lips

when I was a little bit younger, maybe like a year or two,
_____I could of never even imagined
something like this.
________ I knew that it wasn't going to be really normal
and that we would only be a "family"
behind this house door,
________ but, I think I was okay with that.
__________________ I keep saying it over and over,
__________________________ that I'd keep doing this, hiding our relationship for him
____ no matter how much I hated it.

" Baby, I'm so happy about that."

I was really smiling again,
____________ despite the little bit of sadness way beyond my eyes
____ knowing that things weren't going to be completely how I'd like


it was being selfish, right? Wanting some things to be my way.
_____________ it was something I wanted to stop doing,
It was probably real horrible.


I leaned into him closely,
_______________ showing my excitement in a deep kiss,

" When can you move back in? "


_______ I had to get used to sleeping alone again in the bed
_________ and it was painful,

It made me remember the feeling of how he had left,
_________ how much I hated it,

I wanted him back in the bed with me,
__________ at night. So I can feel him against my body,
know he's still going to be there,
________ be warmed by him,
____ to find him in the morning and know he still cares.
I missed that, needed that.












say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

[awake sleeper]

He grew up just a little too fast
lost and need's all in his past
I can hear him hummin' from the other side of the room
guess he's got rhythm, cause he hums every time he's blue

broken glass and a pretty face
silent mourn full of hate
quiet face, silent mind screaming for consequence
bleeding for more.

[Osoreru]

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

This was quite familiar.
honestly this was almost like him coming home
for that first time,
_______ but I wasn't hostile to him,
I was just suddenly very happy that he was going to be back here for good.


________________________ I was never going to do something like that again
______________ jeopardize him again,
____ put him through that.

In fact, I've only slipped with drinking once twice
since he had to live on base

____________ I wanted to stop completely.
It just brought some no good problems with me,



" I love you."


________________ I say to him when he gets back inside.
__________ I want to show him how much I missed him next to me in bed,

and I know, it must seem like
a bit of a mind in the gutter type
of situation, but it wasn't like I
was older, I was still a guy, and
there were things I liked to do
with my boyfriend,

______________________ and I'm kissin his neck,
___________ showin' him my love.
what did make me so happy
was how he was still here.
________ I've been doing some shitty things,
and just being an a*****e.
and I still didn't quite believe in his solider things,
___________________________________ and I was still worried about how I could handle
___________________________________ what usually happens to soldiers who come back
and aren't in body bags.

but I loved him, it could be okay,
right?











say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________