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Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_31 created on Sat, 23 Jan 2010 05:27:10 +0000
Posted: Sat, 23 Jan 2010 05:27:10 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

Hearing the words

' I love you more '

reminds me of childish days

of how you'll tell mommy and daddy

I love you and get into arguments

and how you'd tell your school yard crush

the same exact thing, and then there is that

silly argument once again,

and since that reminded me of things like that,
happier things,

______________________________ I smiled,
________________________ grinned and blushed
____________________ as he took my hands in his
______________ I knew everything wasn't peachy
________ but I felt like everything was going to be okay
___________________________________________ right?

I bring one of his hands to my lips,
"I don't know."

I shook my head, feeling his skin against my lips.

" We could go to dinner like you said earlier? What do you want to do?"

I was happy just being with him,

and I didn't want to stop contact with him,

so I laced my fingers with his.

____________________ "What was the... One thing you missed the most doing with me?" I grin a little bit, that could go anywhere.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_33 created on Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:48:09 +0000
Posted: Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:48:09 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

His missed those things too?

______________________ sometimes, I'd get so lonely at night
______________ I had become used to sleeping with someone there,
_________ to feel their warmth, his warmth.

and now, it had just been empty, and cold.
and only the bittersweet memory of him
settled my upset stomach

______________________ but eventually, I got over it.
_______________ got used to it,
_______________________________________ but now I craved it.

my hands move, and run along his sides,
___________________________ I'm still a boy,
____________________________ with needs
________________ not quite a man yet,
_________________ but soon I've got to
__________________ face the world with
__________________ my child on the way.
_______________________________________________ and I don't want nic to leave me because of it.

"Lets stay in tonight," playfully, I n** at his neck
______________________________________________________ other then the one night, one drunken mistake with Tracy ( s**t, the result wasn't a mistake. Oh god no, I can't refer to my child as a mistake.) I've been with no one else.

___________________ honestly, there have been offers,
____________________ newer and old friends
___________________________________________ but they knew, and I knew I was still in love,
________________________________ with nic,
__________________ even if I was so hurt

__________________________________________ my hands found their
___________________________________________ way into the back pockets
____________________________________________ of his jeans
____________________________ "and wake up together tomorrow morning? "

some of my friends called me crazy
for being with nic, said that it wasn't right
that nic didn't want to be out in
the open. saying that it was just going to
depress the both of us, because they
couldn't go and do normal things like
couples do. Like hold hands down the street,
and steal kisses on dates. In truth, I was and
still a little am upset over it. Jealous over friends
both gay and straight alike, when I would tag along
randomly, be that third wheel. but I couldn't
think of being with anyone else right now. Even if he
was a solider, and went off and left me here, and did
things I wasn't for, or entirely understood. But it was
nic I fell in love with, _______________________ not the solider.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_35 created on Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:00:49 +0000
Posted: Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:00:49 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

I loved that, this, everything.
___________________ a million tiny fists pounded at my chest

I wanted to bruise his lips,
bruise his neck with my nips,
I wanted him to be mine
all of mine,
________________________________________________________ but in the end
_________________________________________________________ he always just
__________________________________________________________ all mine

I look up to him though,
_______ questioning for a moment, all week?
j__________just all week?
just how long was he going to be here for?
my heart sunk, and made me falter,

____________________________________ he wasn't really back for good,
__________________________________________________ was he?

instead, for now
I close my eyes and shake my head
to myself,
wanting to think of other things.
______________________________ of how soft his skin is,
_____________________________or the way he breathes
____________________ and how I've now noticed he's a lot more
_______________ stronger then from when he left.

Together, we make our way to my to what was once the room we shared.

can't it go back to that?

together we are on the bed,
and my hand moves under his shirt,
to feel the skin on his back,
his softness.

_______________________________________ tears silently fall,
________________________________________ but I'm no longer
_________________________________________ sobbing or sad
__________________________________________ not right now,
______________________________ I'm not even sure if I'm happy.
___________________________________________ but at least I'm content.

"I love you."
is a whisper.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_37 created on Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:50:01 +0000
Posted: Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:50:01 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

I'm such a wuss.

"I'm sorry, its nothing.."

I'm sorry for basically cheating on you
_____________________________with a woman
and almost letting it happen again,
with someone else, and I wasn't even drunk that second time.

__________________________ it just proves how weak and pathetic I am, doesn't it?

"It's just been a while."

Its really sweet though,
__________________ that he was worried, stopped to ask what
__________________________________________ was wrong.

( oh, so many things I don't want to tell you.... Not right now, at least. )

In the end,
_____________ he was still all I could think about,
__________________________________________ that doesn't make me all bad, right?

"I've missed you."

I smile, and I kiss him.
_______________ his cheek, his lips, his ear, his neck, his forehead.
forget that I was crying,
______________________ please

I know how he's feeling.
__________________ my boy doesn't want to be worrying about me crying,
____________________________ maybe a different act,

"Help me forget...
How lonely I was?"

__________________________________________ I flirt, smiling, sucking on his earlobe, humming in his ear.

its more like:
___________ help me forget what a bad person I am.
___________ that I kissed another man, and even a woman
___________ that I've hated you while you were gone, or at
___________ least told myself that I did. I want to make things
___________ like they were before. Forget everything,
______________________ but its not that simple, is it?

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_39 created on Mon, 08 Feb 2010 03:16:51 +0000
Posted: Mon, 08 Feb 2010 03:16:51 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

I missed this so much,
_________________ almost forgot how his breath felt against my skin in a moment like this,
_________________ we were closer then we have been in a long time,

_________ and I was pretending like everything was okay,
__________ it was probably not a good thing.

It was strange, waking up.

at first I couldn't even remember
what had happened instead I
was just confused. by how arms
were wrapped around me, and I was
hearing a beating heart. but it all came
back quickly and it made me smile.
_________________________ because nic was here
____________________we shared something wonderful last night

I didn't care what time it was,
didn't care about the sun coming through the window,
I had just woken up in the arms of nic,
_____________________ it was wonderful,
something I missed,
____________________ he obviously did,
____________ seeing that he didn't let me go.

I watched him sleep, pressed closer and breathed his scent.
it still drove me crazy.
__________________ I didn't know what to do anymore.
____________ how could I tell him?
tell him about the baby?
I don't think I should expect him to want to stay around,
and help me raise the baby boy or girl
____________________________ I still needed a name.

I was mostly scared,
________________ and mostly a little ashamed.

and I wondered if I would be the
type to stay around.
________________ I'm not really sure.

I decided to try and not
to think about it for now.
________________ I brushed hair away from his face,
wanting to memorize it once again.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_41 created on Mon, 08 Feb 2010 04:33:49 +0000
Posted: Mon, 08 Feb 2010 04:33:49 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

"Mmn. Whatever you'd like to do baby."

my voice had that sleepy tone to it,
and I snuggled against him,
not wanting to leave the warmth of his body just yet.

I really didn't care that much
either it being just us going and doing something
or us and a few friends.
______________ all of my old friends that he knew
_______________ weren't around anymore or just usually
_______________ too busy to hang out.
my new friends would hate him
and he'd probably not like them
either.
____ they were the ones
____ who got me to go
____ to those rallies that
____ made nic freak out
____ last night. the ones who
____ got me to stop eating
____ meat. the ones who got
____ me more in touch with
____ my artsy side, oh god I
____ should show nic my poetry
____ even if most of it is a mean
____ and full of anger but there is
____ some of it filled with love and
____ hope. maybe I could bring him
____ to a poetry slam sometime,
____ sans my new friends. I'd come to
____ really enjoy those lately. but nic might
____ not want to go anyway, because
____ its was probably a "gay" thing to do
____ in the eyes of a solider. it was gay to
____ show emotion, it was gay to show
____ your heart.

_________________________________ so I didn't say anything about it.

mi amor it made my tummy bubble,
I just laughed and kissed his nose,
____________________ acting like this was the first time
_____________________ and we realized we were in love
______________________ for the first time. but wasn't it similar?
___________ it almost seemed as if we were starting over.

"You could be my breakfast."

I laugh and tease,
and decide to be the one who moves first.

I bet we would of ended up laying in bed all day if I didn't.

even if that wasn't entirely a bad thing, honestly.

______________ The jeans I find are nic's
_______________ but I slip them on anyway.

they were actually loose,
__________ because I've lost weight within the last year,
not sure if Nic noticed.

I wasn't fat or anything before,
but I'm just skinnier now.

"you want to cook?
honestly, my cooking skills haven't improved."

I laugh, running a hand through my messy hair,
stretching,
____________glowing.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_43 created on Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:15:51 +0000
Posted: Mon, 08 Feb 2010 05:15:51 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

I forgot he didn't know
that I had stopped eating meat,
_____________________ we forgot to eat dinner last night,
______________________ so it wouldn't of come up.

I paused when he questioned,
_________________ the lack of "food"

It was a sort of deer in headlights.

______________________ sometimes people can react badly to
______________________ this sort of thing, and I never really knew
______________________ why. I've been called ******** stupid by
______________________ someone I didn't know for not eating
______________________ meat. would you seriously want to eat
_______________________ meat after you find out what those poor
________________________ animals go through? They have minds too.
_________________________ just like you and me.

"I uh. I've got food in there."

___________________________________I look down and lean against the counter.

"but nothing like bacon and stuff.
I stopped eating meat. "

I've got vegetables, and substitutes.
but I'm not vegan so I still got eggs and cow milk and cheese.
__________________ but I'm no any sort of

________ PETA fanatic, I just simply don't eat

____ meat anymore so don't

judge me

"So um. How about pancakes? Or an omelette? I'll help. "

I'm nervous as I go to the cupboard to find
the pancake mix I'd probably only used
once since I bought it.
I think I burned all of those
pancakes
and I gave up and just had a grapefruit.

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

Osoreru

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Post: 57539861_45 created on Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:41:26 +0000
Posted: Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:41:26 +0000

if i'm bound to forget you, don't you let me be
from the day that i met you i've been set on you
what a tragedy it'd be if you and me weren't happy

if you've been tellin all the tall tales end to end
since the day that we met and became good friends
then i've been lying too, is it really you

Well, at least he
didn't start screaming
at me. or calling me me
names or something. but
I could tell he wasn't really
happy either.

"Meat gives you
high cholesterol. "

I stated simply, one
of the things I could
think of off the top of my head.

___________ I was caught by surprise though,
___________ as I was lifted onto the counter.
___________ I grinned at my own panic, but my

___________ smile faltered for a minute.

he thought I was too skinny?
What, did he think I was unhealthy or something?

"I also think its wrong what
happens to animals. They're treated badly right
up till they are slaughtered. I know its a little bit
different with a cat or dog, but we value those animals
highly. Because they're smart, and can be good friends.
But does it have to be different with a cow? A pig? Pigs
are highly intelligent. Animals have minds, a soul. They
can love too, how would you feel if I was on the menu
at some fancy restaurant? "

Okay, that last thing
was a little silly,
but I hoped it worked.

_______ I took the pancakes regardless
_______ I was really hungry, and it had
_______ been a while since something
_______ actually good was made in this
_______ house. I poured a large amount of
_______ syrup onto the plate, and cut into it
_______ with my fork, taking a large bite. Just
_______ because I was gay, didn't mean I
_______ didn't eat like a pig sometimes.

"Nic, sweetie,
if you're worried about my health,
I'm really okay. "

_______________ I licked some syrup from my lips

"I'm as healthy as ever
and I'm still running a lot,"

to prove my point, I
wrapped my legs around him,
smirking and squeezing,

see? my legs were still pretty strong,
I didn't run on track in high school for nothing!

say____________
hey, what's the big deal____________
oh, where'd all the fun go____________
since we got serious i've been such a mess____________
blame the stars or a bleeding heart...____________
what a tragedy, you and me____________

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