Chronic Cheating Might Just Ruin My Marriage

Which character is YOUR favorite?

Noah	38.5%	[ 5 ]
Killian	30.8%	[ 4 ]
Adam	15.4%	[ 2 ]
Michael	7.7%	[ 1 ]
Victoria	0.0%	[ 0 ]
Dr. Reinhart	7.7%	[ 1 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13 ]

[ll-iBritt-ll]

PRIVATE.
Between ll-iBritt-ll and The Parting Glass.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

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Noah was going to be late. Again.

This was turning out to be a fairly normal occurrence for the male. He was the corporate boss for a company on the rise to success. It was easy for him to get distracted in his work, except for the fact that he was almost never distracted by something, more specifically someone, that had to deal with the business. He had a small problem. One that involved him sleeping with other people. Men or women it didn’t matter to him. Noah had a problem with infidelity, and if matters couldn’t get any worse he was engaged to be married in a few months. He’d pushed back the date as much as he possibly could until he’d probably completely pissed off his fiancé. There was no way his significant other didn’t realize that Noah was cheating on him. Even a blind person could tell there was a huge problem in their relationship.

He wanted to fix it. Noah wanted to change his cheating habits, but the stress of putting together a marriage and the fighting between the couple was driving him to it. The male wasn’t going to blame his significant other for a problem he needed to directly deal with, but maybe if the two weren’t fighting about stupid problems or he wasn’t getting a marriage shoved down his throat he wouldn’t be having such an easy time convincing himself to sleep with other people. No. Noah knew better than this. He’d been with Killian for almost five years now. Noah had made a few mistakes early in the relationship, but after those disputes were settled he’d put his infidelity to the side and actually enjoyed his relationship with Killian. The infidelity reared its ugly head whenever marriage was mentioned about six months ago.

There was no doubt of Noah’s love when the couple first got engaged. There hadn’t been a relationship in his life where he experienced the love and happiness he had currently with Killian. He wasn’t going to let his infidelity ruin their relationship. Noah was going to do whatever needed to be done to keep his fiancé from leaving him. The couple had gotten through so many other problems in the past. They were going to get through Noah’s problem too. He’d work his hardest to get through it together and prove that he wanted to be married to Killian, no matter what obstacle was in his way. Now all the male had to do was convince his fiancé of this.

Walking into the diner was like walking into hell. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but it probably needed to include the truth somewhere in his attempts at sweet talking and begging his boyfriend to not leave him. Maybe Killian wouldn’t suspect him of anything. People were late sometimes, right? “Hey. Sorry I’m late. The traffic --” Noah looked out the window to realize the streets were decently clear, enough that traffic really wasn’t a problem. Starting to dig a hole for himself already. He needed to stop being so nervous about telling the truth. There was no way after almost five years that Killian would leave him. Right? Moving to sit down, he attempted to avoid eye contact before finally letting out a soft sigh. The waitress came at exactly the right time and took their drink order, but it didn’t save Noah from having to explain himself. “I’m sorry, I’m... Nervous. It’s a business-” He was biting his own tongue to prevent himself from telling lies. It was enough already. If Killian and him were going to get married he might as well know the truth. “It’s not because of business. I might have done something.... that I kind of regret....” Noah muttered the last part in a low voice, but it was still loud enough for his fiancé to hear. “I’m really sorry, I’m stressed out and I’m not thinking clearly... I had no ill intentions...” The male ran a hand through his hair anxiously before looking at Killian to see what his response was going to be. He felt the pit in his stomach and was extremely anxious to know if there was even a way to fix the mess he’d made.

“I’ll do anything. Anything you want.”

OOC ::

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[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

Killian lifted his arm and bent it inward, the sleeve of his suit jacket stretching back far enough for it to reveal the time on his watch. He wasn’t surprised that Noah was late; it was kind of his fiancé’s thing. It was a strange decision that he had decided to attach himself to someone so notoriously tardy. Killian wasn’t just one of those people that showed up on time – he showed up fifteen, twenty minutes early. He had this terrible anxiety about being punctual; in fact, if he was on time, he always felt as if he was late. It was a weird quirk of his he had developed when he had learned to tell time as a child. It was so deeply ingrained in him that he couldn’t change it, much like Noah’s inherent lateness, the man supposed.

He sighed and let his arm fall back down to his side. At this point, he wasn’t sure if Noah was late or just not going to show. The brunette didn’t bother pulling his phone out of his pocket to see if maybe he had missed a message from Noah. He knew his fiancé well enough to know that he just might not show up. It wouldn’t have been the first time Killian found himself alone when he had planned on being with his significant other.

At one point in his five-year relationship with Noah, he would have been anxiously looking out the window, or even texting the other man to make sure he was fine, but he was beyond that now. Killian wasn’t a fool – well, he figured he must be somewhat of a fool to be sitting in this diner all alone knowing fully well that Noah may or may not show up. At this point, however, he just stared down into the deep brown of his unsweetened, black coffee. This was actually his second cup, and he had already drank half of it. He figured he’d give Noah till the third cup and then he would just head home. He had had a long, dreary day at work, but such was the life of an accountant. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting job but it paid the bills and then some.

The man took a casual sip even if he secretly craved the caffeine, wanting to down it as if he were parched. He was a serial coffee drinker. While he tried his best to keep himself in shape and be healthy, caffeine was just one addiction he couldn’t shake. He felt about ready to keel over actually, and he almost wondered if he should just pay for the two cups of coffee and leave. His time at the diner hadn’t exactly been a waste of time. He had at least gotten away from his co-workers and sat down in a relatively calm environment.

But then another body slid into the booth across from him, effectively dismissing any plans the man entertained of leaving the diner in favor of his comfortable bed.

He didn’t look up at Noah because he wasn’t sure he had it in him to maintain his poker face when he was so tired. So, instead, he kept staring down into the coffee cup, patiently waiting for the other man to come up with some kind of excuse. Killian would have figured that if Noah were to go around like he did, he would at least come up with some half-decent alibis.

He only looked up when the waitress came over to take Noah’s drink order. She looked a little surprised at Noah’s presence, as if she hadn’t believed Killian when he insisted that another person would be joining him. She stopped pestering him after two times, but the man was sure she had only done so because he looked so tired.

Once she walked away, Killian finally looked out the window, the very thing he had refused to do the whole time he had been waiting for Noah. There were hardly any cars on the road, he noted, as it seemed to be after the afternoon rush. But he had grown tired of arguing with his fiancé, and today, he didn’t have the energy nor the mindset to be combative. Besides, they were in public, and Killian was a very private person. Sometimes, it took even his own friends and family members crazy amounts of effort to get anything from him.

“Yeah. The traffic’s crazy,” he agreed monotonously. “And if you were anywhere near as busy as I was today, I get it. s**t happens. And s**t happens at work all the time.”

He didn’t want to talk about this. Not at all but especially not here.

So, instead, he slid one of the menus closer to Noah, insistently.

“Let’s just eat. I’m starving.”

He just wanted to go home, but he didn’t have the energy to cook. And dammit, he had waited here long enough, so he was going to have a meal even if the tension killed him as soon as he finished eating it.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

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Noah could felt the stupidity forming on his face as a menu was slid his way and Killian brushed off everything he said like it was nothing. Was his day really that bad? God he had only made it worse now. He was mortified. “Alright, food sounds good.” The male formed a smile and looked at his fiancé for a brief moment before concentrating on the menu in front of him. Noah didn’t have an appetite right now. He always felt like this after he did something stupid. Killian was most likely upset with him, and now the male had ruined whatever the mood could have possibly been by opening his big, ignorant mouth. So much for telling the truth.

After the waitress came back and got both of the male’s orders, Noah was looking down at the table and tapping his fingers like an impatient child. He wasn’t sure what to talk about with Killian. The tension at the table was obvious. He’d let down his own fiancé once again. There was no one but himself to blame. Noah had problems, serious problems, and he needed them to get fixed before this wedding. How were the two of them supposed to get married under all this stress that Noah was putting not only on himself but also Killian? No way it could happen. They’d end up miserable. Weddings weren’t supposed to be miserable.

“Work was bad today?” Noah asked quietly, finally looking up at Killian. He felt like an obnoxious idiot begging for attention from a guy that he didn’t even deserve to get any attention from. He always felt like this when he admitted his mistakes to his fiancé. The last time anything this serious happened was at the very beginning of their relationship, and Noah was convinced that problem was completely solved. Well, until marriage was mentioned. Temptation was a horrible feeling. “Work wasn’t too horrible for me today. I had a few meetings and made a few calls... I’ll have to go to some office that is about thirty minutes from here on Thursday. Corporate check-up.” There wasn’t going to be any hook-ups. Noah was going to strictly do business, no pleasure at all, and then he was going to come home and he was going to, hopefully, sleep in the same bed as Killian. As long as the other male didn’t kick him out tonight. Lord knew that would only make his infidelity problem worse. Maybe he’d only be confined to the couch. At least then Noah could kill his boredom with television... Anything was better than another human being.

Their small talk about the work day had allowed Noah to not feel like the tension was suffocating him. Their food arrived only a few minutes after their conversation had ended. The waitress was so nice and friendly. How could anyone be mad at her presence? “I think we should do something for the wedding. Cake tasting, suit fittings, or maybe we could look at some locations?” Noah bit his bottom lip and looked at Killian. A positive answer would be fantastic. Maybe the male’s proposal would make his fiancé slightly happier. Even a small smile could lighten the mood a little. “It’d be good for the wedding. Less stress later on... I know both of our jobs can be slightly demanding at times.” He was trying so hard right now. Hopefully his attempts would help bandage some of the newly opened wounds so that there wasn’t a full on yelling match back at the apartment. Right now Noah wasn’t sure if there would even be that. He couldn’t read Killian at all. He was completely in the dark right now, and that made him utterly terrified.

OOC ::

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[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

In the good amount of time Killian had been sitting there, waiting patiently and stupidly, he had decided what he wanted to order, which even with his claim of being ravenous, was just a salad.

But sitting down with Noah for this meal was more stressful than anything else had been today, and it made the man crave comfort food, a habit which he had worked hard to break. When Killian had been younger, he had been a foodie and a rather plump kid. He had always had baby fat, and he used to be one of those kids that ate away his feelings. Then, he got to high school, got tired of the bullying his freshman year and changed for the better (except that he replaced food with caffeine). It wasn’t often that he allowed himself to stray from the nutritional layout he had planned for himself. Yes, he was one of those a**l people that planned out his meals and had a planner that listed what he was doing by the quarter hour. He just had a penchant for being impeccably organized, and when one lived with someone like Noah, one had to be.

So, when the waitress asked for his order and refilled his once again empty mug, he ordered a burger, damning it all to hell for the moment. A little grease and mystery meat wouldn’t kill him, hopefully.

When the waitress left, he continued to be incredibly occupied with his coffee mug, as if he and the cup were the ones eating together instead of him and his fiancé.

“Just busy. You know how it is.”

Because Killian was hyper-efficient, his boss loved to dump his work onto the young man. Not only could Killian complete it twice as quickly, but he simply did it better because he had an insane attention to detail and incredible focus. He learned not to let it upset him, for the most part. But a stressful day topped with Noah being…well, Noah, was a little much for the man, especially with wedding planning and just life in general.

He finally looked up, his weary brown eyes lazily drifting from the coffee cup to his fiancé. When Killian was upset, he had this way of looking at the person he was angry at without looking into their eyes, and that was exactly what he was doing as Noah talked about work.

So, that was his excuse? A corporate check-up?

At least it was an excuse for his next liaison, even if it didn’t explain why he had been late today. It was nice to know, as far as Killian knew, that his fiancé cared enough to come up with a semi-plausible excuse from time to time.

By the time the waitress returned with their food, the brunette had needed her to refill his cup once again. Despite the four cups, Killian felt no more awake than he had when he had first arrived at the diner. He had built up an impressive tolerance to caffeine over the years.

He took a bite of his burger, and it took everything in him not to moan at the taste. It wasn’t often that the man treated himself to anything, even something small like a burger.

Killian couldn’t to lie himself. He was surprised at his fiancé’s suggestion. Merely mentioning the word ‘wedding’ seemed to stress Noah out, let alone the idea of planning it. The man was aware that his lover was merely baiting him with pretending to care about the preparations, but he was still surprised that Noah had even bothered to try. He was almost impressed, but though he remained rather stoic, one brow rose of its own accord in disbelief.

But the surprise was soon overshadowed by irritation, which once again, led to the man becoming occupied with his coffee and its respective mug.

“I actually scheduled a cake testing for this weekend. I told you last week,” he said calmly.

“I also emailed you the details. I know with all your work, it must be hard to remember the little things.”

In a weird way, it almost didn’t bother him that Noah had forgotten. If anything, he had expected his fiancé to make some excuse as to why he couldn’t show up. Maybe another ‘corporate check-up?’ Or ‘traffic?’ Killian supposed it might have been a little much to expect Noah to even remember anything he said that had anything to do with the wedding. He was pretty sure the man just erased any memory of anything related to the wedding as soon as he heard it.

That didn’t mean that he wasn’t disappointed. Of course, he was disappointed. He hadn’t felt this way since the beginning of their relationship. They had been happy for so long that he had forgotten what this felt like, but Killian was beginning to reacquaint himself with the gut-wrenching feeling.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

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Noah could only look down at the table as Killian shot back a few responses calmly. He could tell there was frustration already. He was doomed when the two got back to the apartment. “I guess it slipped my mind. Sorry...” Right now the male didn’t want to say anything else that would receive a verbal scolding from his fiancé. He knew he deserved it. This is what always happened when he openly admitted to cheating. Killian had more than enough reasons to be mad. Noah only wanted to make it better. There was no way he was going to get to do that right now. It was obvious his fiancé didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. Even if Noah had every intention of trying to put their wedding forward and to stop the chronic cheating, the male was going to have to do more than verbally convince Killian. He didn’t know what else he could do right now. Letting the tension settle a little was probably the first step.

“I’ll take off the days that you scheduled wedding plans. Promise.” Those were the final words that Noah managed to utter at the dinner table, and after Killian finished eating, Noah really didn’t eat much the situation made him lose his appetite entirely, he quickly paid the bill and then the two went to their separate cars. He went straight back to the apartment. There was no way he’d make the situation any worse by not showing up for hours after their little dinner “date”. That would only raise his fiancé’s suspicion and make the situation that much worse for him. He was going to have to face the situation like a man. It was a shame Killian was horrendously great at throwing insults while still looking calm and collected. Noah wished he had that quality. Instead he was a lame liar and a chronic cheater. Some days he was still surprised Killian even dealt with his stupid drama.

The ride home was spent muttering practice conversations that might occur between the two men. He was trying to prepare himself so that he could attempt to stay slightly calm and collected, but no matter how much practice time was spent in the car he knew he was going to get defensive and angry. The anger would cause him to say something he probably regretted, then he’d have to apologize for that too. Maybe it was better to let Killian do all the talking. He deserved the scolding and it would probably help the situation, even if it was only a small step in the right direction.

Parking the car in the apartment complex lot, Noah got out of his car and walked up the stairs to their two bedroom, although one bedroom was converted to an office for him, apartment. He set his keys in a small bowl in the kitchen and observed that Killian wasn’t home yet. The male walked down the small hallway and entered his “office”. He set some items on the desk before turning on the desktop and pulling up his email. Killian had sent him a few emails about all the appointments that he had made for the wedding. Sighing, Noah ran a hand through his hair anxiously before writing all the dates down on a piece of paper that would be written down to a calendar and then put into his phone. This was the least he could do. He told his fiancé that he was going to take the days off. There was no way that was going to turn into a lie. Noah had to work to make steps in the right direction if there was any way of saving this relationship.

About ten minutes passed until the male heard the apartment door shut. He quickly shut down his computer and set the paper that contained all the wedding dates on top of his small briefcase for work. Walking out of the office and down the hall he’d noticed Killian setting down all his things from work. “Welcome home...” Noah said anxiously, running another hand through his hair as he waited for his fiancé to say something. Hopefully the male had calmed down a little more from the restaurant tension and the two could have some type of adult conversation, but he wasn’t going to be surprised if he ended up looking like an idiot and Killian the calm, collected, and innocent boyfriend.

OOC ::

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[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

He wasn’t going to let Noah ruin his meal. He had waited long enough to have it, and he would enjoy it, even in silence. In fact, Killian rather preferred the quiet to his fiancé trying to bullshit his way through a pleasant conversation. He was a terrible liar and terrible under pressure, and Killian had no patience for it right now. The brunette was simply trying to hold it all together for the moment, and while he looked poised and reserved, he was anything but. There were a million questions in his head, millions of doubts. He was really starting to wonder if this was a good idea, the marriage, their relationship. Killian wasn’t unreasonable; in fact, he tried his damned hardest to be as understanding as he could possibly be. But what was he supposed to make of Noah’s actions?

Did Noah even want to be with him anymore? Did the man even love him? Was Killian so bad at pleasing him that he had to go elsewhere? What the hell was he doing wrong? What had he done to merit Noah’s actions, his lies, and his blatant disregard for their relationship?

But all of those questions was enough to make a man sick. So, at least while he was eating, he pushed them aside and munched on his burger and fries. He noted that Noah didn’t eat much – he was observant like that – but he didn’t ask. There wasn’t anything else for them to say, not in the diner, anyway. He had gotten an apology out of the other man, so Killian supposed he should have been satisfied with that.

At the end of the meal, they hadn’t said a word to each other, and Killian silently made his way to his car. He wondered if Noah would head straight to their apartment, or if he would go off to God knows where and avoid the whole situation. The idea caused his stomach to flip uncomfortably, and he gripped the steering wheel tightly as he backed out of his parking spot and started driving home. For both their sakes (if Noah even was going straight home), Killian took the long way home. He just needed some time to gather his thoughts, to determine what the best, most direct way to deal with this situation was.

In all honesty, Killian didn’t enjoy conflict. He didn’t like to scream and shout. He much preferred talking through an issue, finding the best solution rather than pointing fingers. But he was angry, and he thought he had a right to be. He didn’t think he was overreacting or being unreasonable. That being said, he could argue if he was passionate enough to do so. Killian normally kept a level head, but if he did get to the point where he was shouting, than he had been pushed far past his limit.

The long ride did little to help, but he had appreciated the time alone. He was, again, surprised by Noah. As he parked, he spotted his fiancé’s car, and it was depressing, really, how pleasantly surprised he was. At least Noah wasn’t completely running away from it all.

When Killian entered the apartment, he took off his shoes and loosened his tie. He had a thing about trailing dirt into his living space. He looked up when he heard Noah’s voice.

“Hello,” he greeted evenly.

He walked past the other man and entered the bedroom, hanging his suit jacket up, taking off his tie, and setting his briefcase down next to his side of the bed before reemerging. He wanted to change into something more comfortable, but he didn’t want to keep delaying the inevitable.

Killian calmly settled himself down on the couch in their living room, at least getting physically comfortable because he felt emotionally chafed. He settled back, looking oddly relaxed for a man who was having so many doubts.

He ran his hands over his face, rubbing a little roughly before raking them both through his hair, making a mess of the thick, dark locks. Once he got out that nervous twitch, he settled back into the couch, at least looking like he was composed.

“Would you like to call off the wedding?” he finally asked, bluntly and pointedly, but not exactly accusatory in his tone.

If he was going to confront someone, Killian hated beating around the bush. He didn’t have the time or emotional capacity to handle dragging this out.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

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Only a small smile appeared on Noah’s face as the other male responded to his greeting. At least there were no snarky remarks. He could tell Killian was upset, probably even angry, about the whole disaster dinner, but as the other walked past him he silently stood in foyer. There was no way that was going to be the only conversation of the evening. Noah knew way better than that. He wasn’t going to pester his fiancé. The only way he knew how to keep the situation calm was to wait for Killian’s return and react appropriately to whatever he was going to say.

His partner reappeared from the bedroom after a few minutes and got comfortably seated on the couch. Noah could feel the anxiety growing inside of him. He was nervous, and he had every right to be. After entering the living room, Killian’s response totally caught him off guard. Noah could feel the blood draining from his face and he probably had a look of pure shock. He felt stiff as a board. He would have never expected Killian to offer to cancel the wedding. His fiancé was the one that was so excited about it, ready to do every little thing that needed to be done, and probably even more excited about the actual day. Deep down inside, Noah was a little excited too. The thought of canceling the wedding made him want to vomit. He couldn’t crush Killian like that. There was no doubt that Noah made a ton of stupid decisions, most likely on a daily basis, but he couldn’t say that after five years of being with the same man he wasn’t in love with him.

“No....” Noah felt like a child as he spoke quietly, looking at the comfortable Killian on the couch. He wasn’t even sure if his fiancé wanted him to sit down beside him. Killian didn’t deserve to go through this. It was all his fault. He was doing this to him. He was making his fiancé question the one thing that he’d probably waited for his whole life to do: get married. Letting out a small sigh, Noah sat down on the couch. He kept the small distance between them. He wasn’t sure what would make Killian happy, but right now he would do anything. Running a hand through his hair, the male spoke once again. “No, I don’t want to call off the wedding.” He turned his body to be able to look at his fiancé directly. “I know you probably don’t believe anything I’m saying, but Killian I still love you. We’ve been a couple for five years, no one can change that fact.” Noah looked down briefly and let out a soft sigh before again making eye contact with Killian. “I made a huge mistake. I can blame it on stress, work, wedding planning, or any other excuse I could possibly make up, but really the only person I can blame it on is myself. I made a stupid decision. I wasn’t thinking. I know I need to fix it, and I’ll do anything to fix it. You’re the only person I want to be with Killian. If I lose you I have nothing in my life other than business meetings.” Noah was losing his strength to speak as he continued to talk, but right now he was going to say anything he needed to say to prove to Killian that he wanted to be in this relationship. “Killian, I promise I’m going to take those days off. I already noted them from my email and I’m going to take them off. I’ll do whatever I need to so that you see I want this marriage as much as you do.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. He probably looked like a child begging for forgiveness. “And you’re probably hesitant about the corporate check-in on Thursday, but it is strictly business and I’ll be home at 5:30. I won’t be a minute late.” That was going to be easier said than done. Noah was pretty bad with times, but he wanted to do anything for Killian to see he was taking this relationship seriously.

He had said his peace, but ultimately his fiancé was going to decide whether or not the relationship was a total failure. Noah didn’t deserve to be with him. The couple had went through the same situation in the beginning of the relationship. Why would Killian want to deal with it again? “Do you want to call the wedding off Killian?” Noah was being selfish. His fiancé deserved to answer the same question, and if he wanted to end the wedding then hopefully the couple could work on their relationship, strengthen it, and then try the marriage card again later. Noah didn’t care what he had to do at this point, as long as Killian was happy.

OOC ::

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

It wasn’t that Killian didn’t want to get married, but he didn’t want to get married like this. What good what it do to marry someone who wasn’t one hundred percent committed to their relationship? Sure, he could brush aside whatever mistakes Noah had made for right now, but how would that impact them later? In the long run, he knew it would only come back to bite him in the a**, and he wasn’t interested in dealing with that kind of fallout. He loved Noah, he loved him a lot for reasons that he couldn’t ultimately explain. He knew any other person would think he was insane, that anyone else would have left Noah the first time. But the man had a terribly self-deprecating weakness when it came to the man now seated next to him on the couch. It wasn’t healthy, and if anything, it added a lot more to his stress level, not to mention depressed the hell out of him.

Five years was a long time, however, a lot of investment in someone else and the striving for a copacetic relationship that he knew he shouldn’t just give up in a drop of a hat. When Killian got into something, whether it was a job or a relationship or anything else, he was in it for the long haul. Killian wasn’t mercurial or tempestuous with his emotions or decisions. When he had started dating Noah and they had agreed to be ‘a thing,’ he had meant that one hundred and ten percent. He had officially committed himself to the other man, and an engagement only solidified that fact. Killian wasn’t one to rush into decisions, but he also felt as if he had waited a long a** time. They had been together for five years, and he had certainly done his job: he had stuck with Noah through thick and thin.

And to what end?

While it was nice to hear Noah said he loved him (because when was the last time he heard that?), he wasn’t sure his fiancé really meant it. Now, Killian wasn’t one to say it often either, but when he said it, he meant it, and not saying it a lot just made it obvious how much he did care. He thought those words were sacred, should only be said with absolute sincerity and emotion. He wasn’t sure if Noah abided by those same standards – he was free enough with other words and actions.

Killian was normally a stickler for eye contact when he was speaking to someone. Eye contact was a sign of engagement, a sign of mutual respect, but he couldn’t even look at Noah. While he felt the other man’s eyes on him, he started straight ahead at the TV, as if there was some sort of interesting program on the blank screen. He let his fiancé go on his tirade – if it made Noah feel better, than fine. It certainly wasn’t doing Killian any favors, and he really wasn’t interested in being lied to his face.

He really appreciated Noah’s ability to avoid the topic in hand. In his whole speech, he hadn’t admitted to anything other than a ‘huge mistake.’ What did that mean? Killian was also pretty damn sure he hadn’t heard an apology in all of the s**t his partner had just spewed. He was almost frustrated enough to cry – he was also unbearably upset, but he didn’t want to confront that emotion even internally with someone in the same room as him.

“Why don’t we focus on you for the moment?”

Noah loved to focus on himself, to only take himself into account it seemed, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to continue doing so for the next few minutes.

“What mistake did you actually make? I don’t suppose you’d mind enlightening me, would you?”

He still didn’t believe that this thing on Thursday was really just a work thing, but he wasn’t going to argue over semantics. He also wished that Noah wouldn’t lie to his face because even if he was being honest about Thursday being a work-related thing, he knew that Noah would still be late – it was just in his nature to be so.

And he also knew that Noah didn’t want to marry him – at least, he didn’t want to marry Killian as much as Killian wanted to marry him. That wouldn’t have bothered him so much because he was used to being the one that cared more and consequently, the one who hurt the most when s**t hit the fan, but what did bother him was that Noah showed a blatant disregard for their relationship. He had pushed their wedding date back until it really couldn’t be pushed back anymore, and he had showed no interest in helping Killian prepare for it at all.

It was exhausting and enough to give the young man the stirrings of a migraine. He rubbed at his temples, trying to soothe it before it became a real problem.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

He had a really horrible feeling that all of this was going to end badly.

Noah could only stare at his fiancé in complete frustration. He could feel his temper rising slowly, and right now he was doing everything in his power to not get up and leave. Leaving wouldn’t solve the problem. It would only make things worse. Taking a deep breath, hopefully that’d calm him down slightly, the male again focused his attention on Killian. “Fine. Let me enlighten you, Killian.” Noah was calmly reminding himself that having a temper wasn’t going to solve this problem but only make it worse. Mimicking his fiancé’s words probably wasn’t helping his situation much either. “I was stressed. Busy day at work and the last few months I’ve felt pretty pressured to be one hundred percent into this wedding. I’ve tried really hard to get into it, because I love you and I want you to be happy. I may have pushed the date as far off as possible. I know I did that.” He was rambling. “Maybe marriage wasn’t an idea I was ready for at twenty-four. I know at the beginning of the relationship you’re well-aware that there was an incident that involved... me and infidelity. We got through that and it’s been almost five years, but the idea of marriage it stresses me out and I wasn’t thinking clearly and...” Noah let out a loud sigh. He hated doing this. “I slept with someone, okay? Is that what you want me to say?” The male rose to his feet. He didn’t even want to hear what Killian was going to say.

The silence and tension in the room after what Noah had said was to the point of being unbearable. He couldn’t even look at his fiancé. He was filled with sadness, embarrassment, anxiety, and probably ten other emotions. Running his hands through his hair and letting out another loud sigh, the male finally turned again to look at Killian. “I know I don’t deserve you. I know I make mistakes all the time and I know damn well that I have demons. We both made it through this problem when our relationship first started, and after almost five years Killian we haven’t had any huge problems at all. If there is one thing I’m sure of after the last five years it’s that I love you. I made a stupid choice. I let my problems control my decisions. I’m willing to admit to it, because hiding it sure doesn’t help the situation any, but I’m also willing to fix it. I’ll do whatever I have to do to prove to you that I’m in this relationship one hundred percent.” Right now, anything but this emotional roller coaster was fine with Noah. His temper had yet to get the best of him, but if his fiancé said something snarky, he had a small tendency to do that, Noah wasn’t sure how he was going to react. It would probably end with him leaving, which is exactly what he wanted to avoid right now.

“I want us to talk through this like adults. I don’t want to get mad. I’m tired of getting mad and leaving. It doesn’t help our situation any. It makes it worse for both of us.” Noah was standing in the middle of the living room, his hand that had been running through his hair was now beside his leg tapping away nervously. “And if you really think that I’m not upset about this, then I hate to burst your bubble or ruin your day but I’m just as upset and disappointed in myself. I failed you and I failed our relationship. Now I’m going to fix it all, but only if you let me Killian.”

OOC ::

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

Killian crossed his arms over his chest when Noah started talking. He had only asked for a confession, not a pity party in a monologue. Killian also wasn’t looking for excuses, and that was all he got for the first minute. He wasn’t even irritated by the other man mocking his choice of words – it was a childish reaction to a reasonable inquiry, and Killian wasn’t going to stoop down to the other man’s level. What followed, however, was incredibly difficult to hear. The fact that Noah had cheated on him because he was stressed and nervous about their relationship was vomit inducing. If Noah felt this way, why hadn’t he just discussed this with him? Killian wasn’t unreasonable and he wasn’t insensitive to other people’s feelings, especially the feelings of someone who meant so much to him. The cheating hurt, of course, but what possibly hurt even more was the fact that his fiancé didn’t seem to care about or trust Killian enough to discuss their relationship. Instead, he had ran away from all of their problems and ******** someone else…

The problem with wanting to fix the problem was that Noah should have done this earlier. Noah should have come to him way before all of this, when he first started feeling the way he did. The desire to fix their fractured relationship meant nothing to Killian after such a terrible blow. While Killian doubted just how bad Noah really did feel about his actions, and suppose his fiancé truly did feel guilty and embarrassed and all those other things, it wasn’t the same as what he himself was feeling. Noah didn’t have the right to say that he was just as upset as Killian. Being the cheater was not as difficult as being the one who was cheated on – it just wasn’t, no matter what the other man claimed.

He didn’t think his partner could understand how he was feeling. Noah was doing a lot of talking about what he claimed to feel, but Killian really wondered if he had even considered what kind of impact this had on him. Killian wasn’t selfish, or he tried not be, and he didn’t think it was too much to ask that his fiancé think about how he felt. But with every word Noah said, it seemed he was proven wrong. In all his rambling, Noah just continued to make excuses and make himself out to be the victim.

And to hell with that. There was only one victim in this situation, and it was Killian. Noah made it out to sound like Killian had driven him into someone else’s arms.

But then again, maybe he had. Maybe this was all his fault. God, Noah made it sound convincingly enough like Killian’s pressuring to be married had made all this happen. But if Noah had hated the idea of being married to him so much, then he shouldn’t have agreed to it. It would have spared Killian’s feelings much more for Noah to just say that he didn’t want to marry Killian than drag his feet and be half-assed about something Killian thought they had agreed to do together.

For the moment, Killian was looking down at his feet, twiddling his thumbs as he listened and tried to organize his thoughts. He hated getting angry, he hated getting to a state where he couldn’t think and all he became was raging emotions with no regard to thought. He tried his best to be level-headed, to be cool and collected, and responsible.

But he couldn’t right now. Because Noah was being irrational and unfair.

“See, the thing is, Noah,” he started, his hands now moving into his hair, tugging harshly at the strands, trying to release his pent up frustration and anger on himself rather than losing his composure entirely in front of his fiancé.

“You’re not as upset and disappointed as I am because you weren’t the one who was cheated on. Again,” he emphasized, finally looking up at the other man.

His brown eyes were dull and hazy and sad. His hair, which he perfectly combed into place was a mess, sticking out every which way.

“And you can’t expect me to just be okay with everything that has happened and just jump in on the Noah Pity Party.”

His voice was shaking as he tried to wrestle with his emotions.

“I don’t see how you pretending to give a damn about our relationship and our engagement is going to fix anything. You just said you’re not ready for marriage. Do you honestly think you’re going to start being okay with the idea because you’re going to start helping me plan for it? Because if anything, I’m sure you’ll just ended up screwing someone else every time another thing about the wedding comes up.”

He took a deep breath, desperately struggle to rein in his hurt and anger.

“If you don’t want this,” he paused, motioning between the two of them.

“Then, you need to just say it. You need to tell me now. Because I can’t keep convincing myself that I can believe the empty promises you make me.”

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

Noah listened calmly at Killian’s responses. He was right for the most part. Noah wasn’t sure why the idea of marriage had flipped his cheating switch back on again. Maybe because marriage was something that was supposed to be permanent. Both of the males were barely young adults. He loved Killian more than anyone else he’d ever been in a relationship in his entire life, but a relationship was never going to change his fear of marriage. It was stupid of him to think that Killian would understand that. When he agreed to get married, and he agreed because at the time he truly did want to marry his boyfriend, this irrational fear didn’t rear its ugly head until the planning was being scheduled. That was when Noah started to push back dates, miss appointments, and god knew what other stupid plans he’d made to avoid the wedding.

“I never said I didn’t want this.” He made the same motion as his fiancé had moments ago. “Because I did want to get married. You really think I had ill intentions? Am I out to murder you as well?” Noah was started to get frustrated. He wasn’t sure what to say anymore. “I wanted to get married more than you can imagine. I was excited about it and ready for us to start our life together. But when the wedding dates started to get set and we had to start planning I realized that maybe the idea of marriage wasn’t something I really wanted at twenty-four. We’re both still fairly young Killian. I’m not getting married so when we have one huge disagreement we can get divorced. I see marriage as something that binds us for life, and that idea scares me.” Noah could feel his emotions taking over. Damn the five year relationship. Love did crazy things to people. “I’m sorry if you see it different. I’m sorry if you think I’m purposely betraying you. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve loved you for five years, and I still love you now.” He was looking intently at his fiancé, who was ever so cleverly avoiding his glares of frustration.

“You wanted me to be honest. There’s the truth. You don’t have to believe me and as much as I want this relationship to work you’re going to have want that too.” Noah’s frustration was starting to come out in his tone. He needed to shut up, but he was having a severe case of word vomit right now. “I refuse to do all of the work if it won’t get me anywhere. If you want this” he started, making the same motion as before, “then I’m willing to do whatever I have to do. I’ll see a therapist. I’ll plan events for the wedding. I’ll take days off to spend time with you. I don’t care what I have to do to make it up to you, but I’ll do it if it helps me get you back.” His tone had managed to soften as he kept talking. “Because I love you Killian and I know I betrayed you. I know I made a mistake that you’re never going to forget. We made it through this one time before, and if you give me the chance to do it again then I will. I don’t like to see you hurting or sad. I want you to be happy Killian, because you deserve to be happy.”

Noah had said everything that he wanted to say. His fiancé was going to have to decide if it was worth the time to go through the “drama” that he had caused. “I really don’t have anything else to say. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want your pity either. I only want to work on solving the mess I’ve created.” Somehow he was managing to smile after this whole situation. What a roller coaster of emotion. One minute he was mad and ready to storm out and now he was trying to lighten the mood. This tension and stress was going to give both of them wrinkles. Hopefully Killian wouldn’t see his attempt at lightening the mood as making a joke of the whole conversation. Noah was tired after a long day at work, and he wasn’t in the mood to have a long fight, or adult “conversation”, with his fiancé. If he could have went back in time and fixed his mistake he would have, but now the past was the past. The bad part was that Noah still had to deal with the repercussions of his actions now. He couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting all this. Set the truth free was a great saying, but its fault was that it didn’t mention the part where there were consequences for telling the truth. Although lying was much worse, it seemed to give Noah a security blanket that allowed everyone around him to be happy until... well, the truth was set free.

OOC ::

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

Killian had also never said that Noah didn’t want to be in a relationship (even if he thought that might be the case). He was merely asking Noah if that was how he felt. Killian didn’t appreciate being mocked, and that was the second time Noah had done so. He also didn’t appreciate the way it seemed Noah was making him out to be the bad guy. Killian wasn’t really sure how he was the problem in this situation. He wasn’t perfect; he knew that, but he also hadn’t ever even considered being with anyone else since he had met Noah. Noah really was everything to him, and while he was hurt by his fiancé’s actions, he wasn’t really sure who’d he be without him.

But that didn’t excuse Noah being a massive a*****e right now.

Of course, he thought marriage was a binding thing. If he ever got married, he didn’t want it to be a marriage where divorce was even considered. If he loved someone enough to marry them, he wanted whoever he was with to be someone with was capable of working with him whenever they encountered any problems. Of course, he wanted their relationship to work. But did Noah honestly expect Killian to just sweep this under the rug? This was the second time this had happened, and he had every reason to believe it would happen again. Was he supposed to just allow Noah to do whatever he wanted to do, even if it was Killian who ended up being hurt in the end?

It wasn’t that he didn’t love Noah. He had to love him a hell of a lot to have gotten through the first time he had done this. He just wondered how many times he would have to forgive Noah for something like this. It obviously wore at his spiritual being, and it wasn’t doing any wonders for his confidence either. Maybe Noah did love him, but maybe he just wasn’t enough. Maybe he was too boring, too rigid and unexciting. He just didn’t know what to believe anymore. All he knew at the moment was he was tired and really not ready to tackle this despite thinking about it for a long time before Noah had finally showed up to the diner.

“You’re right,” he finally murmured, his eyes returning to his feet.

He just didn’t want to talk anymore. He had a migraine now, and they weren’t getting anywhere. Noah simply wanted to move forward without even talking about why he had done what he did. He expected Killian to just accept the fact that he was stressed and having cold feet and then move forward.

But where was he supposed to with a fiancé who didn’t want to get married? Or at least, who had such anxiety about it that it caused him to avoid the impending date entirely and cheat on him?

“This is my fault. My perspective is all wrong.”

Killian tended to shut down when he was so upset. Sometimes, he yelled and snapped snarky comments, but if he was really hurt, really emotionally traumatized, he just didn’t want to deal with it. He needed time to just soak it all in, to think about how best to move forward, with or without Noah. But if he was being completely honest with himself, so long as Noah at least claimed to still love him, he wanted to be with the other man. Killian guessed that made him a little selfish, clinging to something that so obviously wasn’t his at this point.

He didn’t look up because his eyes were a little misty at this point, and he wasn’t going to let himself cry. At least, he wasn’t going to let himself cry in front of Noah because that was just embarrassing and pathetic. His hands went to his eyes once more, trying to rub away the wetness that was forming in them.

“I’m going…to sleep on this. I’m tired. You’re tired. And we’re not really getting anywhere.”

Other than Noah dumping all this on him and making it Killian’s problem to decide how to fix this whole thing. It was easy for Noah to want to move forward, easy for him to just put the past in the past. But it wasn’t easy for Killian. He knew he was going to end up doing it, though.

Tonight, however, wasn’t the time. And he still had to be up early tomorrow (as he did every other weekday) for work. He couldn’t let some emotional trauma keep him from doing his job, because his boss would probably end up screwing everything up if he wasn’t there.

It was a little early for sleeping, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Maybe he would look over a little bit of work he had brought home before calling it a night.

“I’m going to bed,” he announced, not wanting to wait for Noah to argue some more or…whatever it was he would do.

Killian wouldn’t be shocked if he left again.

The brunette rose from the couch and padded towards his bedroom, their bedroom, kind of hoping Noah would just take the couch for the night because he didn’t think he could handle them sharing a bed right now.

[ll-iBritt-ll]

If you fall [↓↓] for me, I'm not easy to please [♥]
I might tear you apart [✄ ----]
Told you from the start, BABY, from the start !

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart !!! (♥)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ x→x ▀▀▀▀▀

The night ended exactly as Noah had expected it to. A dead end.

Unfortunately, it was probably better that the conversation ended in the way it did. Killian looked on the verge of tears and Noah felt drained emotionally. He wasn’t sure how to feel in the exact moment, but whenever his fiancé, or should he be known as a boyfriend now, rose and started to move the male blurted out the only words he could think of. “Good night Killian.”

It had been a few days since that fight. Thursday had arrived and Noah was currently in their shared bedroom, even though he was sleeping on the couch for Killian’s sake, getting dressed for the corporate check-in. Like many other days, it was a suit and tie kind of day. The two men hadn’t been talking too much since the “conversation”. Noah wasn’t sure what to say anymore. He needed to do something for his fiancé. Killian needed to be reminded that he still had his fiancé’s love. Maybe grabbing a few roses or some chocolates might get a smile or some other show of emotion out of him. The last few days were tension, tension, and more tension. Noah was already fed up with it.

“Killian, I’m leaving. I’ll be back at five tonight.” The male slid into his office quickly and grabbed his briefcase before flashing a smile in his fiancé’s direction and heading to the kitchen to grab the rest of his things. Coffee, keys, and wallet completed his small checklist, which steered him straight out of the apartment and to his car to head off to the location. He’d told Killian it was strictly business and that was all it was going to be. No flirting with girls or guys, no stopping by the bar for some “lunch”, and definitely no sticking himself in situations where he might make a decision he’d regret. Right now it was all about bettering his situation with Killian. One more incidence with infidelity and Noah probably wouldn’t get the generosity of the couch.

Noah actually left the building at 4:00 P.M., a time he deemed as on schedule. He was going to stop by the local flower shop to grab some roses and then stop at Killian’s favorite restaurant to pick-up dinner. Hopefully his fiancé wouldn’t see it as him kissing his a** or anything like that. Noah only had the intention to get their relationship back on the right tracks. He didn’t want the tension or the stress anymore, and he would appreciate being able to sleep in his bed once again. The couch wasn’t exactly doing wonders for his back.

5:20 P.M. He was a little late, but he wasn’t as late as he normally was. Noah didn’t even bother to grab his work things, instead he only grabbed the dinner, roses, and his phone, business necessity that could never be left behind, and walked quickly to the apartment. Opening the door, the male immediately had an apologetic look on his face. “I’m really sorry. Traffic was horrendous. I think everyone got off at 5:00 today or something.” Noah stated as he walked to the kitchen to realize there was no Killian. Bedroom. He always hated staying in his work clothes. Setting down the food, the male kept his roses in hand as he walked back to the bedroom to see Killian. “I’m home.” Noah stated, slightly proud of himself. He wasn’t as punctual as his fiancé, but usually he was a lot later than this. Hopefully Killian would realize this. “I know I’m a little late, but traffic was really bad and I made a few stops... I was hoping they’d make up for it.” Stepping into the room, he offered the roses out to Killian. “I know I’ve probably put you through hell the last few days. Sleeping on the couch has helped me to realize that I really do love you... I don’t think I’d ever sleep on that couch for anyone else. It’s not super comfortable or anything, but not that I’m complaining. I figured you wanted some space.” Noah looked down to his feet. He was nervous. Killian’s presence was always so calm and collected. He never knew how his fiancé was going to react. “I also stopped at your favorite restaurant and grabbed some dinner... So we didn’t have to cook or go out or anything like that...” The male stated, glancing at Killian for a few moments before resorting back to staring at his feet.

OOC ::

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[The Parting Glass]

╬════════════ 【ɑɴɗ кɛɛp тɑℓкιɴg тɦɑт mɛss; тɦɑт's fιɴɛ. ɓuт cσuℓɗ yσu ωɑℓк aɴɗ тɑℓк ɑт тɦɛ sɑmɛ тιmɛ?】 ════════════╬

¤¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·.¸¸·.. yσu gσт mɛ тwιsтɛɗ.

╬══════════════════════════════════════════════╬

For the next few days, Killian had thrown himself into his ever-exciting work as an accountant. He left even earlier than usual and stayed late. There was one day when there was legitimately no work for him to do, but he hadn’t been ready to go home and see Noah. It wasn’t that he was running away, per se; he wanted the time to think about what to do with his relationship, and he couldn’t think with Noah around. The awkward atmosphere whenever they were within proximity of each other only stressed him out. Work was mind-numbing, but it was at least atmosphere where he could think with a clear head. Besides, numbers were much easier, came much more naturally to him than anything else. It was rather relaxing to deal with variables that had a given solution rather than the fuster cluck that was his relationship at the moment.

The man had been under no impression that his fiancé would actually be on time despite the promises that he would be. Killian knew way better than to expect punctuality from Noah, and so, it really didn’t even occur to him, the possibility that the other man could be on time. That being said, Killian hadn’t spent time waiting up for Noah. It didn’t occur to him to watch the clock, to hope that Noah was telling the truth because he knew it wasn’t going to happen. There was no point in getting his hopes up for the impossible. Besides, being on time for once in his life (supposing that hell froze over and Noah actually did get home at five) didn’t make up for the cheating.

When he heard the door open, that was the first time the brunette glanced at the clock which sat on the small table beside his side of the bed.

5:20 PM, it read.

While still an impressive time for his fiancé, he wasn’t impressed.

Twenty minutes late wasn’t on time.

Shaking his head, the man looked back down at his laptop and the excel spreadsheet he was currently working on. Despite obviously in ‘work mode,’ Killian looked as relaxed as Killian could get – well, as relaxed as he could be given how wonderful his personal life was at the moment. He had obviously recently showered, his hair just slightly damp, and though he was always well dressed for work, he now had on a pair of sweatpants and a plain, white v-neck t-shirt. Killian didn’t mind the whole suit and tie thing every day, but he liked to differentiate home from work, which was odd given that he was working at home. But the way he saw it, there were clothes for the office and clothes for home, and the suit had to go once he was in his bedroom.

The obvious sign that his laptop was out for work and not pleasure were the spectacles he was sporting. He really only had to wear them for reading, but he found it much easier to read his screen with them on.

He didn’t look up immediately when Noah entered the room. He was in the middle of typing something.

“Yeah. That crazy traffic again,” he interjected when his fiancé mentioned it, his tone flat, maybe a little condescending.

It wasn’t that he believed Noah could have really done anything in twenty minutes; perhaps he could have but that wasn’t the point so much as simply him being late was.

Killian looked up in confusion when he saw roses in his faces. The gifting of flowers was something he never understood. Well, he understood that it was a typical gift for certain occasions – for example, one gave flowers to someone in the hospital, or to someone who had just performed in a play, or to their mother on Mother’s Day. Which made him wonder what the hell made Noah think he wanted flowers, or that flowers would butter him up at all. As far as Killian was concerned, flowers were a completely useless gift.

Still, he reached out and grasped the bouquet and all in the same motion set them on the nightstand without so much as a whiff of their scent.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch. You do own half the bed, you know.”

It wasn’t as if he had banished Noah to the couch, but once again, the other man did a splendid job of making Killian out to be the ‘bad guy.’

“And if you find the couch so unbearable, you can take the bed,” he reasoned, his eyes back on his screen as he saved his work before shutting the laptop. He picked the laptop off as well as one of the pillows and slid off his side of the bed, walking right past Noah, towards the couch where he would set himself up for the rest of the night.

He set the pillow down at one end of the couch, the one farthest from the bedroom and sat with his back against it, opening up his laptop once more to resume his work. He hadn’t thought of a solution to their problems yet, so he wasn’t ready to talk.

Realizing he hadn’t responded to the last bit Noah said, he called out, “I’m not hungry. Don’t not eat on my account, though.”

It seemed that Noah didn’t stop having sex with other people on his account either, so eating without him shouldn’t be so outside his character.