Chapter 1. Romance ended in bloodshed. One x One. Private.

[Cortisol]

L U C I A N

“The Order of the Dying Swan”

X-DATE.

Lucian got into the elevator at exactly 8:55 a.m. his left hand holding his Italian leather briefcase with the initials engraved on it. It took four minutes to reach the top then the ding of the elevator and the doors opened. Lucian walked down the corridor until he came to room 2057. He opened the door at exactly 9:00 a.m. and walked into the room. The conference room was physically empty of anybody except Lucian; however, there was a large screen where twenty-seven people were displayed. Business meetings of the future. Lucian placed the briefcase on the table and unlocked it.

“Are you ready to proceed?” A voice from the screen said. Lucian shook his head yes and produced a picture where he flashed it to the camera. It was a picture of Beauregard Levett and Reese Hanley walking down the street together. “A picture? How will a picture get you back in the game?” A voice rang from the screen. Lucian shook his head no. “This is Beauregard Levett…ten years ago Conrad Levett poured gasoline on his son, now as we all know he’s rotting on death row. Thus, eliminating him from the games. This is Reese Hanley a champion boxer who during her time killed three girls while boxing.” Lucian explained as he pointed to Beau and then pointed to Reese. The faces on the screen seemed to contemplate what he was saying. Then one voice challenged, “Conrad Levett was disqualified…you can’t take his discarded playing piece.”

“Nowhere in the rules does it say I can’t take Beauregard for myself. Conrad tried to train him to be a killer...I'm merely picking up where he left off.” Lucian retorted.
Silence.
“They’re both so old! How can you train them this late in the game?” A voice said. A girl.
Silence.
“Do not worry…you will be thoroughly entertained. Watch while I turn these two into the next Rosenberg Trials.”

The order didn’t rule in favor or against Lucian. Instead they put him on probation. They allowed it but they wanted to see results now. He was satisfied. It meant he was still in the game and he hadn’t yet lost. Leaving the elevator Jeffrey walked up to him. He still had the packages that he was supposed to give to Beauregard. “Well?” Lucian demanded as he kept walking. “I went there and he was sleeping. Reese said not to return again.” They walked out of the building when he received a phone call. He pulled out the phone, “Yes, I’m back in the game. You can pick up my dry cleaning. Goodbye.” It was code for 'you can finally kill Virginia now I won’t be needing her'. Hours later the news will be filled with Virginia’s death. Virginia is dead and they’re won’t be a trial. Perfect. He hung up the phone, broke the phone in half, and threw it away in the nearest trash can. Before entering the back of the limousine that had been waiting for him. Jeffrey climbed in after.

“Did you find the photographs?” Lucian asked and then Jeffrey handed over a file. They were photos of Beauregard murdering nameless boys in the basement of the medical hospital. Blackmail. “Will they cooperate?” Jeffrey asked as Lucian poured himself a scotch and brought the glass to his lips.

“Of course they will cooperate. Who do you think I am? It’s simple. Put them in a dangerous situation then rescue them. Let’s have dinner with Beau first. Maybe we’ll reminisce about his father.”

[Cortisol]

V A L E N T I N E

Valentine woke up to a buzzing sound. He opened his eyes and the noise stopped. He rolled over and was about to go back to sleep when the buzzing sound started again. It was loud. He pushed himself up. Disorientated. Adjusting to the room. It was his cellphone it fell out of his pants pocket and was vibrating on the hard wooden floors. Blankets still wrapped around his limbs he fell out of bed and grabbed the phone and flipped it open. Lying on his back, tangled in plum sheets, he saw Reese was calling him, again, “Hello…?” Valentine yawned. “Where are you?” Valentine looked around. “The floor of my room.” Pause. “Is Holden still there?” He was instantly awake. He hung up and pushed himself up. His heart started to beat faster than normal. Heart attack fast. Naked he was naked and sticky. ********.

The memories of what happened rushed back. Pulling on clothes he opened the door of his room and peeked out. Holden was there looking through boxes. “Morning…or afternoon or whatever.” Valentine said as he finally walked out. He was testing the waters. Waiting for a reaction from Holden. Should Valentine remember what happened last night or chose to forget? The million dollar question. “Some night…Kayden texted me practically crying for leaving without saying bye…haha!” Casual. Act ******** casual, Valentine. “I’m going to go take a shower…” Then Valentine walked into the bathroom, shut and locked the door, and stripped. He scrubbed his skin and brushed his teeth all in the shower. Erasing all memories. He was one of those people. Dried himself off, pulled the clothes back on and with the towel still on his head walked out.

If Holden wanted to forget, fine, Valentine can forget too. Easily.

“I had such a weird dream last night.” Valentine said as he walked to the kitchen. Got a yogurt and sat on the floor. “I was an astronaut and I was out on a mission to mars when Aliens invaded my ship and started picking off the crew members one by one. It was war!” Valentine said with a smile. He lied. It was the plotline from Aliens. Reese and him saw the movie for the first time two nights ago. “IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM!” He said as he raised his fingers and did scary fingers. Before picking up a spoonful of yogurt and swallowing. It felt good against his throat and he could literally feel it sliding down and settling in his stomach. “So, do you have any plans today or something you have to do?”

Pause. Then Valentine said it as if he didn't care, “It was a recess, Holden, meaning it didn’t happen. You don’t have to worry. You can leave if you feel weird. Nothing changed between us, right?” He tilted his head and smiled his hundred watt smile as he spooned another helping of yogurt into his mouth.

[Cortisol]

K A Y D E N

Kayden woke up with a pounding hangover, but not even that dampened his mood. He stretched his limbs until bones cracked and relief was released. “Ahhhh. Good morning USA!” he said as he pulled himself out of bed. Popping some Advil and drinking some water. He blared the radio in the shower and sang along to every song that played. When he was dressed and eating a bowl of cereal he began thinking about last night. The phone call he got from Valentine and then Valentine and Holden coming to see him play. It made him happy. After the show Kayden looked all over for them. Vanished. The text messaged excuse came later. He wanted to know what they thought. Was this a new step? Was Kayden able to meet and talk with Caleb? Accepted? Kayden had already memorized the music for Caleb’s song. Kayden could feel every drop of emotion Julian put into the song it was beautiful. Would Caleb be able to feel it?

Kayden just wanted to play the song for Caleb…even if it was unfinished.

Kayden grabbed his cellphone and began to type a message to Holden. Talking with Holden was like talking to an agent. He was Caleb’s agent. Was Holden the older brother? He acted like the older brother.

“Heeeeey, did you get home okay?
Are you busy today? I was wondering if we
Could get together for a bite to eat. My treat.
-K”

Then he grabbed his guitar and began to tune it before strumming. He always got such a rush whenever he did a live performance. His phone began to ring and he grabbed it thinking it was Holden. Nope…it was Reese. He answered it with a bright, “Hello! It's me Kayden!” There was a pause and already Kayden could feel the hate waves through the receiver. “What do you know about Lucian Laurent? Is he a good man?” Was her question. Kayden shrugged and said, “Uh...well...He donates a lot of money to organizations and for cancer treatments. He even made a large donation to several music programs. He was even on the Times top hundred important people…even though he was at number one hundred…heh.” Pause. He could hear Reese breathing. “So, in your opinion you think just because a man donates he’s a good person?” Twisting words.

“No! Not at all I mean…” Kayden tried to explain. Pause. “Virginia is…Virginia is dead. Turn on the news…it’s all over it.” Reese said sure enough when Kayden grabbed the remote and turned it to the all-day news channel her picture was on the screen. Nobody knew what happened within that house and now the only two survivors were Reese and Valentine. “There was supposed to be a trial…but, now Virginia is dead, which makes me believe that somebody is trying to silence this whole affair.” Kayden wanted to know…wanted to know what happened in that house. What happened to Julian, to Valentine, to Reese. The public was outraged. Virginia’s death meant there was no trial…no trial meant Julian’s death didn’t get justice.

“How bad do you want to know, Kayden? I’ll tell you…on one condition.”

[U n d r a w n]

H o l d e n





ok


do me a favor. gte me 2 bottles of jameson


yes ok


wtf no need to be all polite there.


sry i dny mean to


gtfo. You suck at textin


sry what?


smh. Nothing nvm.


sorry


Holden was still looking through boxes out of boredom when Valentine woke up. "Morning... Or afternoon or whatever." Holden tensed up before turning towards Valentine. "Yeah whatever." He repeated. Valentine spoke about how hurt Kayden was for not contacting him about leaving. Holden let a small smirk grow on his face. "He's just being a little b***h about it." Then Valentine needed a shower. Holden moved to the couch and turned on the TV, to see nothing was no. Nothing was ever on in the mornings. There was really no point. He had a choice to watch some children's show, or some Christian program, or some sports s**t, or the news, or some old movie from the 9o's that he didn't want to watch. He let the channel stay on that was playing the old looking movie. He was staring at the ceiling when Valentine got out. He was more interested in the blank surface than he was over the stupid movie. He turned the TV off and Valentine got himself a yogurt. Holden forgot to get one for him.

"I had such a weird dream last night." He went wide eyed then slowly turned his head. "Yeah?" Casual. Act casual. Then Valentine went on describing the plot of Dead space or some crap. Holden just rolled his eyes to the side laughing at him. Valentine wanted to know his plans for the day. Holden shrugged. "I dunno. I was thinking about going out to fight some aliens who killed my entire crew." He said as seriously as he could manage. It wasn't until Valentine brought up last night. It was a Recess. Last night didn't have to have happened. He lightly raised an eyebrow. So now he could come over whenever he wanted recessing the ******** out of Valentine and then just leave?

He waited hours sleeping around, searching through boxes, watching shitty TV just to he there when Valentine woke up, now Valentine was saying he could just leave? He had this awkward knot in his throat that Holden quite frankly couldn't get rid of. "Nothing changed between us, right?" Holden ended up shaking his head. "Nope. Nothing changed." He answered. Did Valentine think it was a drunk mistake? Did he think it was real? Holden then said his goodbyes and just left. He didn't find the point in staying. When he walked to his apartment he saw a white haired male sitting outside the door. It was Zack, that lunatic who had his hair in a ponytail just because Holden had long hair. "Uh.... Da ********] Holden asked as he approached. Zack stood up stretching his arms out. "Finally, someone f'ucking gets 'ere." Then he threw his arms out shoving a laptop against Holden's chest before letting it go. Holden caught it staring at Zack. "What the hell is this?" If it was another one of Allen's games he was going to flip a s**t. "I dunno. Caleb wanted it. Give it to him when he gets 'ome." Holden looked towards the door. "He is home." Then he opened up the door and began to walk around the house, Zack was moving around too. "Caleb! Get the ******** over here!" He called out looking around. Caleb wasn't anywhere to be found. "Um..." Holden kicked Zack out before going to text him. There was a message already on his phone, though.


Heeeeey, did you get home okay?
Are you busy today? I was wondering if we
Could get together for a bite to eat. My treat.
-K


yeah sure.

He said mostly to get Kayden out of his hair and shut him up while he dealt with Caleb.


oi. Where the ******** are u??

[Cortisol]

V A L E N T I N E

Therapy Session I
“Are you connected with yourself?”

“I invited Caleb and Holden…but …I hope that they can make it. Let’s begin.” Kayden began as he looked the two in the eyes. They still might show up. Kayden sent Holden very good directions. It was a therapy session for everybody. Freelance.

They were standing in a circle in the empty apartment. Standing in Julian’s empty barren apartment. Kayden. Valentine. Reese. Just standing. Each one carrying two large supply bags. Things in Valentine’s life had to change. He couldn’t keep living the way he did. Without a purpose. Doing whatever necessary to stay alive. Julian sacrificed himself to save Valentine and Reese. Compared to Julian…Valentine’s life was worthless. Witnessing Julian’s brutal murder startled Valentine right to the very essence of his being. “Now…get into your costumes. I picked them out for this session.” Kayden explained. Within moments each one was wearing tribal wear. Like Indians. Africans. Eskimos. Natives. Valentine felt ******** ridiculous. Dressed in reds and blues. Necklaces, bracelets, anklets. Feathers. Headdresses. Wearing fake bones, they could be real bones, they felt like real bones.

“Next…drink up the elixir.” Kayden announced. In reality it was a mixture of shrooms and absinthe and sugar cubes. It tasted like black licorice. Valentine downed the whole thing without breathing. Kayden broke out the body paint…or he called it…tribal paint. He began to paint intricate designs on Reese’s exposed flesh. Her face. Her chest. Her arms. Blue paint. It looked like henna designs. When he moved to Valentine a shiver went down his spine. Valentine had white paint. The paint was cold against his flesh. Kayden said it glowed in the dark. Backlights and a roaring fire were the only lights in the room. “Now the music…” Kayden said as he walked over to the sound system and pressed the play button. The room was instantly filled with native chanting. Valentine didn’t understand the language. It felt haunting. It penetrated his soul. Just drumming and chanting.

“All you have to do is move your body…let all the negative emotions flow out of your body and into the dream-catchers. Move your body to the beat of the drum. This is your individual journey to connect back with yourself. Your personal journey to find yourself.” Kayden explained as he began moving his arms and stomping his feet. After thirty minutes and Valentine was beginning to feel the effects…was it the shrooms…the absinthe…the music…the drums…the atmosphere? It was everything mixing together in a chemical soup. He could hear colors and see sounds. Everything developed an aura.

They began dancing…like uncivilized red skins. Becoming one with the concrete jungle. Kayden wanted Valentine to find himself. Said that nobody could help him on this journey. Music has a healing ability. Producing oxytocin in the brain…the cuddle drug…which is why when combined with drugs and friends strong social bonds are formed. Producing dopamine and serotonin. Rewiring the brain. Kayden probably knew this. Valentine grabbed a pair of goat skinned drums and began to drum. Matching the rhythm to the rhythm that played. Kayden was beside him, talking to him, “What do you want to do with your life Valentine?” Valentine was in introspection. Examining himself. He thought about everybody. Everything was in perspective. He thought of Holden. Reese. Julian. Holden. Caleb. Roger. Fitzpatrick. Holden. Julian. Kayden. His mother. His father. His foster-father. Virginia. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Holden. Kayden. Then he thought about himself. Took a deep breath.


“I want to move out of this city…I want to go to school…I want to help people. I don’t want to waste the life that Julian gave me.” Valentine said. His eyes closed. Body swinging to the new world order. Banging on the drums. “You have the strength inside you, Valentine, all you have to do is pull it out. You are capable of great things Valentine. Just believe in yourself.” Positive words of encouragement. Beautiful. Everything went back to that joke that Reese said. How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The lightbulb has to want to be changed. A person has to want to change in order to be helped. This was Valentine's and Reese's realization of wanting to change. Of wanting to be helped...and allowing other's to help them.

[U n d r a w n]

When Caleb woke up, he rolled out of the bed and stumbled for the bathroom where the toilet was. He leaned over the hole and spent a few minutes getting sick. He went to the sink and washed his mouth out, then rubbed his eyes as he moved towards the bed again. Brian was sitting up staring at him. "You good?" Caleb slowly sunk back in the bed closing his eyes. "Yes." And the two fell back asleep since it hurt too much to be awake. Caleb woke up again, this time Brian was in the shower. He could hear the water running. He sat up, and the pounding started again, so he dropped his head back down and went back to sleep. The third time he woke up he decided to try and stay awake. So, he got out of the bed and moved towards the living room where Brian was sitting next to a girl on the couch, he was eating cereal and the girl was playing PS3. Pause. "Oh hey! You guys were so loud last night." She laughed. "You screamed at me for taking a picture and then Brian began screaming at me to turn off the AC! He opened up a freaking window and thought I turned on the AC! God, Brian. You are a hilarious drunk." Caleb slowly moved forward taking hold of his coat, which was on the ground. "I'm sorry. I'll leave now." He said pushing his arms through. Brian began laughing. "No no! Forget my sister it's fine. You can stay longer."

Caleb turned back to face him. "I really should be going." Brian stood up and moved closer. "I'll walk you." He said grabbing his own coat and a draw string bag. "You don't have to do that." Brian laughed. "Nah, it's not a problem. Lemme buy you breakfast on the way." And then he opened the door waiting for Caleb to walk out before him. "Thank you." Caleb said as he moved past and started on his way down the hall. He felt bad because he was awfully sure Brian had paid for whatever Caleb did last night, which was obviously a lot of partying, and cabs. Drinks at clubs were always very expensive. "You still got my MSN address?" "Huh?" Brian laughed again. "Last night. I gave you my MSN and then you called somebody up on my phone telling them to buy you a laptop. You hung up saying you didn't care if you got beat for it. You just wanted it." Caleb could hardly remember last night. All he could remember were a few flashes here and there. Brian got all serious and quiet for a moment. "Hey... I know this is probably out of place for me to ask... But... Are you going to be alright?"

Brian took Caleb out for a meal, then he ended up dragging him to a store where they sold all sorts of weird stuff. Brian said he'd been going there everyday for a week to buy one thing each day. Then they ended up going back to Brian's house and ******** again, then Caleb fell asleep and Brian didn't grab a taxicab for him home until later that night. When Caleb walked through the door Holden threw a conniption fit.

WHERE THE ******** WERE YOU? "I'm sorry. I don't know." I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ZACK HAD NO ******** IDEA WHERE YOU WERE! "I'm sorry." STOP WITH THE ******** ACT NOW I'M CONVINCED YOU JUST WANT SOME ******** ATTENTION. "I don't want attention. I'm sorry." NO. NO. Bottle shatter. STOP BEING A ******** PIECE OF s**t. AHHH! "Please stop screaming." AHHHH! "Please stop." Yeah. I'm fine. I'm calm.

Holden grabbed the laptop Zack dropped off and shoved it towards Caleb's chest. "That's for you." He stared at the laptop a few moments then remembered the MSN address Brian had given him. Was he supposed to use it for that? Why did Brian want his MSN when he was leaving for Texas once he was done with vacation. He had to go back to a military base and continue... Being a Marine. Caleb moved to his room and sat on his bed, then turned the new laptop on and began to set up his MSN account. After he did that he added Brian's MSN and realized that with this laptop he had the freedom to add whoever he wanted. It wasn't like a cellphone. It wasn't like anything. It was secret and private and completely his.