ღ A U T U M N ღ

[IrelandKiss]

ⒽⒺⓃⓇⓎ ⓉⓄⓄⓁⒺ


ριcтυяє ρєяғєcт

♚ I'ℓℓ ɢιvє чσυ єvєячтнιиɢ... ♚

Henry had never been mad at Elizabeth. Not when she pulled some stupid stunt to get attention, not when she treated others like they were lesser than her, not when she lied and snuck around and cared more for expensive things than for her friends or family... He had been disappointed, confused, annoyed, sometimes even a little amused by the sheer ridiculousness of it. But he had never been mad at her for just being who she naturally was. How could he? At least she didn't put up a mask and act all sweet and innocent like all the other girls. Elizabeth was who she was; she changed for no one, and Henry rather admired that about her. No, he had never been mad at her...

Until now.

How dare she? How dare she... she say such things?! To him, to Elena, to both of them?! Why was she doing this?! She wasn't even giving Elena a chance to make nice, she was just ripping her apart right there in front of everyone! Their servants were watching now, their eyes fixed on him as they waited for his reaction. They would get a reactiong alright. Henry was so close to shouting at her, to giving her a piece of her own medicine. Maybe Elizabeth would like to hear what everyone said about her behind her back, hm? Maybe she would like to know that he was her only friend not because he preferred her to others, but because no one else wanted to be around her. Maybe she would like to know the names people called her; "b***h", "shrew", "whore in waiting"... Maybe she would like to know how many times Henry sprang to her defence, always half-hearted because he knew the peoples' claims were right on some level. God, how Henry wanted to fire back at her. He wanted to scream and shout at her, tell her to watch her mouth because, though he loved her as a sister, she had no right to expect he would tell her anything. She did not own him. She should not assume he would act as if she did.

But his father's words gave him a chance to calm down. He held Elena tighter to him, almost as if he was afraid she would run from his arms at what Elizabeth had said. She did not, though, only leaning into him further and seeming to seek comfort in his embrace. Henry spent a long moment staring at Elizabeth with that look she hated. He was afraid to speak; he was not sure he could control what came out of his mouth. Before he could, though, his mother stepped forward and smiled almost too brightly.

"Well, it's getting cold outside," she said, "Let's head inside, hm? We've a lunch all ready for your arrival, Henry, and Elena's rooms are prepared for her. I'll show you to them dear..."

[Losing Our Very Existence]

Elena stayed as silent as she could when Elizabeth asked her what she was going to do if she completely failed Henry, causing the world as he knew it to fall and crash. In all honesty, she had no idea. Henry meant the world to her, and she'd do anything to keep him from that kind of pain. Surely he and everyone else here knew that. Henry held her tighter, as if she were fighting to get away, to return home where people like Elizabeth were seldom few...if any at all. But, she didn't. She didn't want to. She loved Henry too much to give up everything now. She had worked hard for this, and she wasn't letting her--or anyone--get in the way of that.

Henry's mother suggested they go inside, to escape the cold and eat lunch, as well as get Elena settled into her rooms. The older woman held out her hand, almost hesitantly, and after a moment, Elena left Henry's side to take the woman's hand. It was warm, and reminded her of her own mother's hand...how gentle and soothing it was. This was just the same, though the woman's clear distaste for Elena's race was clear. But, perhaps with time she'd see...Elena and her family wer not the monsters people thought Mortanians to be. They were good people. Church going, God loving, kind hearted people. When they were far enough ahead from Henry, Elizabeth, and Mr. Toole, Elena took a small risk to speak. "Mrs. Toole? I-I know, I'm not what you expected...at all, but I love your son. Very much. I promise I'll be a good wife to him and daughter to you and Mr. Toole. I'll prove to you that I can belong here...I'll try my hardest to belong to this family."

[[lame]]

[IrelandKiss]

ⒽⒺⓃⓇⓎ ⓉⓄⓄⓁⒺ


ριcтυяє ρєяғєcт

♚ I'ℓℓ ɢιvє чσυ єvєячтнιиɢ... ♚

Henry watched his mother lead Elena away. He hung back, walking between his father and Elizabeth. The earlier was whispering encouragements into his ear as the later was hissing exclamations and threats, so in all honesty, Henry listened to neither of them. His green eyes were fixed on the two women ahead of them. He watched as his mother looped Elena's arm through hers, holding her hand in a way that appeared gentle but that Henry knew was meant to remind Elena of who she was dealing with. The way his mother was holding her hand kept her in control of where they went and how fast they walked, and Henry's eyes narrowed. He couldn't overhear what they were saying, but he prayed to God his mother was being civil... open-minded...

Henry's mother Anne knew her son was watching her. So as Elena spoke, insisting that she loved Henry very much and would try her hardest to fit in here with their family. Anne could hear the sincerity in the girl's voice, and she had to admit she was beautiful. If only her Mortanian blood was more well hidden... Anne didn't mind about the girl's poor background, but... Mortanian? She had to look away just thinking about it. No one would accept her. Henry would be criticized, both openly and behind his back. Their entire family would suffer, and it might even extend to their business. Anne just had a feeling in her bones. Elena would change things around here. And not in the good way. So as Elena insisted in a soft voice how she would do her best to fit in, her best to be a good daughter to her and her husband, Anne blinked over at her, smiled tightly, and squeezed her hand a little too tight before replying with a quiet, obviously forced, "Of course you will, dear..."


--------------------


It had been maybe a week that Elena had been with them. The first few days were filled with dress fittings and shopping, jewelers and cloth merchants filling their home and showing off their wares to Elena and his mother. She had obviously been overwhelmed by it all, and so his mother and Elizabeth had guided her through the process. Informed her about which colors and styles were in season for a girl her age of engaged status, what patterns on the dress flattered her figure, which precious jewels should be worn as necklaces and which as earrings, how she should arrange her hair... Henry only knew if they had been nice from what Elena told him. His mother and Elizabeth he knew would lie to avoid his displeasure, but Elena would tell him the truth always. He knew she would. And she had said things had gone perfectly fine. Anne and Elizabeth were frindly and obliging, helpful when needed but they had not restricted her from making her own choices... Henry half believed her.

Now he was getting ready to accompany them to a welcoming ball one of their neighbors had planned out for him. It was to be a casual affair, held outside in the sunshine and filled with games and dancing and overall revelry. By this time word had gotten around that Henry had returned from the village with a fiance of Mortanian heritage, but from what little gossip he had heard back, they were the talk of the town, there was a bet going to see how long Elena would last, and a rumor was circulating that she was pregnant with his illegitimate child. Henry laughed at most of it, but his eyes went dark as he thought of what the reaction would be when she walked in with him. Silence, staring, stifled laughter and whispers... It scared him. He didn't know what it was doing to Elena...

[IrelandKiss]

Gabriella woke slowly, taking a deep breath as she looked over towards the window. A palish sort of light was spilling in on the room, indicating another cloudy day with a snowfall, and her aunt and mother were shuffling around downstairs as they prepared a breakfast for everyone. But Gabriella knew of none of those first. The first thing she was aware of was a dull ache in her lower abdomen. It reached way into her muscles and once she noticed it, it grew. Gabriella groaned softly and curled into the masculine arms that were wrapped tight around her, seeking comfort in James's embrace which had slowly grown too familiar to be confused with Rick's. Each man had a different way of holding her. Rick had been soft and gentle with her; James held her tight, as if afraid to let her go. Usually she preferred Rick's hold, but with this pain in her abdomen, Gabriella sought comfort in James's embrace. She curled into him and groaned again, but it did no good. Eventually she pulled from his arms, sitting up quickly and wrapped her own arms around her waist. What sort of pain was this? She only ever felt this on the day when her courses started....

No... No, no! Gabriella's heart clenched violently and she quickly stood from the bed, pulling the blankets back so roughly she ripped them off of James as well. But she did not notice if she woke him or not. All she saw was the small stain of blood on the sheets, alligned with where her hips had lain only moments ago. Gabriella quickly looked down to her nightgown, and she saw even further proof in the form of a wider red stain on the front of the white cotton dress, and she could feel the dampness along the back as well.

Gabriella slowly took a step back from the bed. Her eyes were locked on the floor, her small feet stumbling away as though terrified of what she had seen. The baby was gone. No... The baby had never been. She had never been pregnant, and James... Oh, God, James... What could she tell him? What could she do to hide it? Because Gabriella knew she could not tell him the truth. He would hate her. He would leave her, loathing her for what she did to try and save their marriage, loathing her for what she did just because she didn't want him to leave her. And now... Now he would leave her anyway. And he would hate her, and their family would lose another member. God... It was all her fault... If only there truly had been a baby, none of this would be an issue...!

She blinked when she found herself backed into a corner. Gabriella took a deep breath, but it was quickly released in a stifled sob. Before long she sunk down into a sitting position, wrapping her arms around her knees and sobbing weakly. It was all over. Everything. Her marriage, her family's happiness... Everything... It was destroyed. Because she had tried to fix it...


((SUCK))



❀I'ϻ ɴσт ʀσʏɑʟ..................................
Bυτ ɩ'ϻ ʜɩs ρʀɩɴϲεss...❀

[IrelandKiss]

╔══════════════╗
Nστʜɩɴɢ ɩs ɑɴ ɑϲϲɩɗεɴτ
Wε ɑʀε ғʀεε τσ ʜɑѵε ɩτ ɑʟʟ
Wε ɑʀε ѡʜɑτ ѡε ѡɑɴτ τσ ʙε
Iτ's ɩɴ συʀsεʟѵεs τσ ʀɩsε σʀ ғɑʟʟ
╚══════════════╝

It felt like it had been years since he and Julia exchanged a kind word. A kiss. A long look from across the room. The first night after their fight, he had gone to her room. She had told him he could if he wanted, and so Rick had decided to push the boundaries. He would hold Gabriella when she was mad at him and it would take no more than a few whispered words to convince her of his apology. Rick had gone to Julia with the hope that it would be the same, but he was wrong. As he walked quietly into her room, he had seen her lying on her bed, her back to him and her black hair unbound around her shoulders. He had thought she was asleep, but as he crawled onto the bed and moved to lie behind her, preparing to take her into his arms, she had turned around abruptly and fixed him with such a hateful look Rick was visibly taken aback. She had not refused him. In fact she had rolled over onto her back and told him to do as he wished, turning her face away from him. Rick had been unable to do anything except leave, and he had not returned to her since. The weak attempts he made at conversation with her over meals quickly failed, and for the past two days she had refused to eat with him at all, instead taking her meals in her rooms with her ladies. Consequently, Rick had buried himself in his work and duties as prince. They no longer went out into the villages together, instead seeming to rotate taking turns so that they would never have to deal with one another. Her ladies looked at him like he was a monster and his "friends" from Leono tried to distract him with whores and drink, but none of it worked. All that could was for Julia to come walking through that door, throw her arms around him, and forgive him for what he had said and done to her...

He waited for that, but as he knew it wouldn't, it didn't happen. He sat at the small table, his food untouched as minstrels played quietly to fill the silence. The serving girls were standing by quietly, waiting for him to say something, anything, that they could do for him. But Rick just wanted them all to shut up and leave him alone... He was releasing an agitated sigh when the door opened, and a dark-haired woman appeared. Rick's eyes snapped up, his breath catching in his throat as he dared let himself hope it was Julia. It was not. It was Teresa, her hair falling in curls down her back as she curtsied to him. She opened her mouth to speak, but Rick interrupted her.

"Unless you are come to tell me she is on her way, shut up," he said gruffly. Teresa subsequently closed her mouth and stood back. Another minute or two passed in silence, until a thought struck him. One that should have a long time ago. Rick looked back up at her quickly and gestured her forward. She blinked but obliged, getting to her knees beside him as he remained in the chair and looked down at her.

"Your Majesty...?" she said quietly, glancing at the other girls who were already giving her suspicious looks. Rick did not notice.

"You are close with Her Highness, are you not?" he whispered back, his eyes lighting up as Teresa nodded slowly, "Teresa, I would hate to use you as a pawn, but would you mind if I asked you to... to take a message to my wife? Please?" The young girl blinked up at him, her mouth slightly agape as she took a breath and then averted her eyes.

"If you wish it, Your Majesty, I could not refuse..." Rick shook his head, reaching down and taking her chin in his strong hand. He pushed it up gently so that she was forced to look up into his eyes, and after a moment he spoke.

"I am not commanding you, Teresa," he whispered, "I am asking you. Would you, please, deliver to her a message from me?" Teresa was silent. She blinked slowly up at him, her lips parted slightly, and Rick had only just noticed how pretty she was when she smiled sweetly and whispered a reply.

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

[Losing Our Very Existence]

The first week with Henry had been...challenging, yet exciting and different all at the same time. Elena was always overwhelmed with all of the choices of colors and patterns and fabrics all accessible to her now, and that was just dresses. There were jewels and hair, and shoes...Luckily, Anne helped her with most of it, and Elizabeth even made a few helpful tips to help Elena choose. It was something Elena hadn't expected from the young woman, especially the way she acted when they first met. Had Henry said anything more to her? Threatened that if Elizabeth couldn't accept Elena that they couldn't be friends any longer? Had Elizabeth given up, or perhaps just seen that Henry loved Elena too much to let her go? Elena didn't know, and when she had asked Elizabeth and Henry both, they said that nothing had happened...

But Elena couldn't help but feel slightly targeted in this house. There were rumors spreading all around, about her, about her and Henry...Elizabeth, though helpful didn't seem to take to her very well. At almost every meal, she had done something or another wrong, including trying to clean up after herself, or not excusing herself from the table, or anything...and she'd apologize, but she could see it in everyone's eyes how she didn't fit in here. She didn't belong, and if she did, she belonged in the kitchens or sweeping their floors, not joining their family. And it only made her feel worse when Henry would ask how everything was going, if she liked it here...if his mother and Elizabeth had been kind. She didn't want to let him down. She didn't want to let them down, and though she knew she should be honest about everything, she kept her mouth shut. She didn't want everyone to be disappointed in her, or think she couldn't take a few cruel words against her. She could...but to have almost every person in the house against her...It scared her.

And now she was getting ready to go to a casual ball with Henry, to welcome him back home and to welcome her...but somehow, she didn't think things would go well. There would be people there more opinionated than the servants, or Anne, or even Elizabeth. Her hair was pinned tightly into a bun on the back of her head, a few pieces left down to soften and frame her face, and a gown that Henry's mother had picked out for her to wear. And Elena had to admit, she didn't look like herself. She looked much more refined and...elegant. Even when she just wore some of the less complicated--and restricting--gowns, she felt higher up and like she actually belonged at Henry's side.

Elizabeth looked like a dream, of course. Her blonde hair fixed with pins and small flowers, and it was easy to see that she had outdone herself just enough to look better than Elena. And somehow, Elena didn't care. Actually, she was happy for the other girl, and even when she complimented the girl, she had a wide smile. "You look beautiful, Elizabeth."

"I do, don't I?"

[IrelandKiss]

ⒽⒺⓃⓇⓎ ⓉⓄⓄⓁⒺ


ριcтυяє ρєяғєcт

♚ I'ℓℓ ɢιvє чσυ єvєячтнιиɢ... ♚

"Henry." He looked up and caught sight of his father in the mirror. The older man, an older version of him, was poking his head of graying hair into the room and gave him a bracing look. Henry ran a hand over his blonde hair and quickly turned around to face his father. His parents were coming to the party as well, but Henry would not be spending much time with them. They would stand back with the other parents, watching him and the others dance and play games and talking about whose son would be a wonderful match for whose daughter. Henry, along with Elizabeth and Elena, would be the object of their studies.

"Father," he said, already knowing that something had happened. The older man gave him a warning look.

"They're outside. Together. Alone," he said. Henry's green eyes widened somewhat and after a moment he surged forward, rushing past his father as the odler man tried and failed to hiss some sort of encouragement to him. It wasn't that Henry did not appreciate his father trying to help him. It was just that he didn't want the man hanging all over him. Henry knew how to keep things under control... He hoped... Before long he made it outside where Elena and Elizabeth were standing side by side exchanging few words in slightly tight voices. Elizabeth very clearly still did not like Elena. Elena, however, seemed more... comfortable in the situation. She seemed happy for the first time since coming here, and Henry stopped for a moment as both girls turned to look at him.

"Henry!" Elizabeth exclaimed, smiling brightly in greeting. Elena was silent, smiling softly at him as their eyes met, and after a moment Henry felt all the anxiety drain out of him. He took a few slow steps towards her, and once her smile widened, he reached out, grabbed her hand, and pulled her roughly into his arms, catching her to his chest and kissing her lips softly. After he pulled away, his world lost in her, he played with a strand of her jet black hair and whispered softly to her in the sort of voice that can only be used by a man very deeply in love.

"Are you alright?" he murmured, unaware of whether Elizabeth was observing them or not.

[Losing Our Very Existence]

xxx●●● J a m e s ☼ J u n i o r ●●●
Love is like war… easy to start, difficult to finish,and impossible to forget.



James felt the cool morning air brush onto what was two seconds ago his warm legs and torso. He reached for the blankets a moment before giving up and opening his eyes against the harsh morning sun. Sitting up, he gave a yawn and looked down at Gabriella's place on the bed. Blood. Fresh blood. James looked at it in confusion for a moment. Had he cut himself on something? Was he bleeding and didn't know it? He scanned his arms and legs quickly, pausing for a moment to see if maybe he had a pain anywhere. No, none at all. That's when he heard a sob from across the room, making him look up quickly.

It was Gabriella...with...blood? Blood on her nightgown? "Gabriella," he said, slightly panicked, throwing himself from the bed and rushing over to her side. The baby! Was the baby okay? This couldn't be good...She shouldn't have her courses, or be bleeding if the baby were okay, should she? He heard her sob again, and blood or no blood he pulled her into his lap, holding her weeping body into his chest as he shed tears of his own. His child...his son or daughter...It was gone. The baby was gone, and James was lucky to still have Gabriella...He heard stories of women losing their lives from miscarriages. He still had Gabriella, and that first and foremost was the most important thing.

"We'll get through this, Gabriella. We'll be okay. You're here and safe, and that's all I could ask for..."

[[suckier...]]

[IrelandKiss]

Gabriella flinched when she heard James say her name. She didn't want him near her. She didn't want him to touch her, or to speak to her. Because she knew if she did, he would do so in anger. In hatred for her lies and her stupid attempts to keep him with her. Gabriella had hoped for a time that he would love her more for giving him a child. That he would never leave her, because she was the mother of his child. Now that that child was gone... dead... having never even existed at all... Gabriella knew he would leave. The only reason he had stayed was because she told him she was having a baby, and now that it was no more, he would go back to what he was doing before. Leaving her. Divorcing her. Leaving her alone and broken all over again just like his brother had done. And she hated herself for bringing it all down on them. She was so stupid... such a slut... Gabriella didn't even deserve the small amount of happiness she had anymore.

When she heard him approaching, Gabriella turned away. She didn't want his strike, when it fell, to mark her face. If her father saw it he would murder James, and there had been enough loss in both of their families for that. But... The strike never came. Instead he sunk down beside her, pulling her gently into his lap and whispering her name as tears broke his voice. He swore to her that they would be alright. They would make it through, because she was still here and she was safe. That was all he asked for. Gabriella shook her head and looked up at him, hot tears shining on her cheeks as she sniffed roughly in an effort to get control of herself.

"D- Don't lie, James," she whimpered, looking up into his eyes as she unconsciously curled her fingers into his night shirt, "I know you wanted a baby. I know you would have killed for it. And I... I- I lost it. I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, James. It was your baby and I lost it... You hate me for it, don't you. Please, James, do not lie to me. I know you must hate me... I killed your baby..." She broke off there, sobs wracking her chest again as she rested one trembling hand over her still aching abdomen. She knew it was just a branch off the lie. The baby had never been there for her to lose. She had not miscarried; she had simply gotten her courses for the month, because James's seed had not taken in her womb as she had hoped and prayed for. But it felt as if she had truly lost it. It hurt deep in her chest, right over her heart, and radiated all over her body. It hurt, so terribly, that there was no way she could possibly explain it to anyone. There was no way to speak words that could convey the true depth and reach of the pain. She had lost her baby... which she had never truly had in the first place... And Gabriella hated herself more than James ever could.



❀I'ϻ ɴσт ʀσʏɑʟ..................................
Bυτ ɩ'ϻ ʜɩs ρʀɩɴϲεss...❀

[Losing Our Very Existence]

It'd been a week since she had told Richard that she was pregnant with his heir, and it'd been a week since he had told her he didn't want it. She hadn't talked to him besides small greetings when neccessary or when she felt like he needed a reminder of why she was so angry with him. Yes, it'd been a week since the nightmare had begun, and it was only getting worse. Richard no longer tried to talk to her, or beg her to come out for her meals, or since the very first night come to her after his duties. And in a way, she was glad. She just wanted so badly to be happy about the pregnancy, but she couldn't if Richard wasn't. She couldn't find it in herself to know that he was so displeased with this...It worried her. Their marriage was already falling apart, and all because of something they should be excited about. Perhaps...perhaps if she just talked to him. Rationally, calmly...perhaps she could make him see reason, and perhaps they could be happy again.

She was very late for breakfast, she knew, and she had just sent Teresa in there to fetch her plate. However, the girl wasn't back yet, and she had to talk to Richard, if he was even still there. Checking herself once more in the mirror, she went to the door that led into the sitting room between their private rooms, opening it slowly and almost silently. None of the women noticed her yet, and neither had Richard, who was sitting there, talking in whispers to Teresa. Before Julia could move though, her husband took Teresa's chin into his hand--like he used to take Julia's...Her heart stopped and she had to put a hand over her mouth quickly as she watched the small exchange. She couldn't hear his comments, but she didn't need to to know what he was talking about.

Richard had taken to having mistresses...Julia was no longer his only woman in bed...She felt her heart break in her chest as she tried to think of what to do. But before she could stop it, a sob escaped her, and all the ladies in the room looked up and quickly bowed, but she never went in. No, she couldn't, and wouldn't dare talk to Richard now. He didn't need her anymore. And she didn't need him. She'd raise this child on her own. She'd move to the other side of the castle if she needed. Richard no longer was going to be a part of this child's life....

Julia wasn't sure where she was going to go, but she had to get out of that room, and go wherever Richard wouldn't find her...where she could cry in peace, and not be caught by too many servants...She just...she just had to go.

[Losing Our Very Existence]

Elena heard Elizabeth's greeting, and quickly turned to see him coming towards them, a slightly worried look in his eyes. She smiled at him, widening her smile as he approached slowly, taking her into his arms and pulling her into a deep embrace and kissing her lips. Her hands rested on his chest, slowly pushing their way up into his hair, resting there just before he pulled away and started to play with her hair, asking her if she was okay. Here it was. Again, the opportunity to tell him exactly what was bothering her, but the words wouldn't come. She couldn't force them through her lips. Not that anything was wrong at that moment, but she wanted to tell him how miserable the nights were without Cristina, and how boring her tutoring was, and how senseless it was to have so many of everything. She didn't understand his world, and she wasn't adapting like she thought she would.

"I'm fine," she insisted, using one of her hands to point to Elizabeth. "I was just telling Elizabeth how beautiful she looks, Henry. Don't you agree? Doesn't that dress fit her well?"

Elizabeth stood there, her heart slightly broken when Henry didn't even greet her back, but instead moved to Elena, who had her sweet innocent smile on. It made Elizabeth sick, to know that Elena didn't belong and yet both of them insisted on trying. And if things did start to take a turn for the better, Elizabeth would make sure that it all came crashing down again. She had to! This woman wasn't here even a week and already Henry was ignoring Elizabeth. She didn't bother coming over as much anymore, because she'd come to the front door to learn Henry had taken Elena out for a surprise lunch, or that they were discussing something, or that they were about to go out...

"You...look nice as well," she forced, along with a smile before she looked at Henry, as if asking if he were satisfied that for a moment she had been kind and on her best behavior.

[IrelandKiss]

╔══════════════╗
Nστʜɩɴɢ ɩs ɑɴ ɑϲϲɩɗεɴτ
Wε ɑʀε ғʀεε τσ ʜɑѵε ɩτ ɑʟʟ
Wε ɑʀε ѡʜɑτ ѡε ѡɑɴτ τσ ʙε
Iτ's ɩɴ συʀsεʟѵεs τσ ʀɩsε σʀ ғɑʟʟ
╚══════════════╝

Rick smiled down at Teresa as she replied, agreeing to take a message to Julia from him. He suddenly felt happy. Truly, really happy, because he had a chance now. He had a chance to reach Julia, and even though it was a little sneaky and low to send her messages through a servant, what other choice had she left him with? She would not speak to him. She would not look at him. She refused to be in the same room with him for a second longer than she had to be. Rick had no other way to reach her than using Teresa as a communication device. Besides, the girl looked happy enough to do what he said. Her cheeks were going pink and her dark eyes were bright as they exchanged quiet smiles, and after a moment, Rick felt it would be alright to compliment her a little. As a way to thank her for doing this for him. Rick blinked down at her and lifted his thumb, stroking it just under her lip and lifting te corner of his mouth in a smile.

"Do you realize how pretty you are, Teresa?" he said, watching as her eyes lit up and she blinked slowly up at him. But before the seventeen-year-old could reply, a small gasping sob reached their ears, and they both quickly looked up. It was Julia. The other ladies all quickly curtsied and Teresa jumped up away from him, lowering her dark eyes as if fearing Julia would attack her for flirting with her husband. In truth, she had no right to. It was not a crime for a man to take a mistress. It was common, in fact, especially when the wife was pregnant. For royalty, Leono told him, it was expected. So really, Julia had no right to be upset if Rick was taking a mistress. But the thing was, he wasn't. He realized now as he watched her turn and run that it must have looked like that, with Teresa kneeling at his side and his gentle carress on her lips, but he hadn't meant it like that... No, he had no interest in her, surely Julia could figure that out...?

"Julia," her name came out as a murmur, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Rick jumped to his feet, knocking over his chair and sprinting from the room after her. He didn't notice where he was going or how people were staring as he pushed past them. All he saw was the quickly retreating form of Julia, her black hair shining in the sun. "Julia!" he called out again, his voice echoing through the hall. She had to have heard him, but... She kept going. Rick would even say she was speeding up! She was running away from him. Again, she was running away, refusing to talk to him, refusing to listen to him, making him mad and everything worse...

He would not let her ruin it again!

"Julia!" he shouted, finally reaching her and grabbing her wrist. He pulled her around to face him but unlike the first time, his hold on her loosened. She could not pull away, but his grip wouldn't hurt her. "Julia, stop! Listen to me, please! What you saw, it was nothing! I swear it! Teresa was just promising to help me with something, it's not what you think!"

[Losing Our Very Existence]

Julia ran past servants and nobles as she ran, not bothering to pay attention to their curtsies and bows of respect. She ignored Richard's calls after her, though she knew she shouldn't. But she couldn't have him touch her. Who knew what women he had touched with that hand! Who knew how many there had been that he whispered sweet nothings to. But, at least they knew he didn't love them. At least he didn't have to put a mask on for them...Fool them...God, how could she be so stupid?! How could she allow herself to fall in love with this man?

All of a sudden, she was whisked around, facing Richard once more, but this time his hold loosened, and he gave her a pleading look. She wouldn't have it. None of it! "Don't touch me!" she snapped, attempting to pull from his grip. "You monster! You...You...whore-mongering b*****d! How dare you?! How dare you claim to love me, take a mistress, and then try to tell me it's not what I think?! I saw you. I saw you compliment her pretty face, and brush her lips with your thumb. I saw it. With my own eyes, Richard! I thought you loved me. I-I thought you were different than them all. I thought that you would be special, and that maybe with you, I'd be happy. Forever. Not just until my wedding night..." Her words had started out harshly, but they soon turned into hurt, uncontrollable sobs. She wanted to go. She wanted to just run and never come back. She didn't want his embrace, or his touch. She didn't want his kisses or hugs...She just wanted to go...

"Don't be part of the baby's life. I don't care...I don't want to fight with you about this anymore. Why can't you just be mature about this, Richard?"

[IrelandKiss]

╔══════════════╗
Nστʜɩɴɢ ɩs ɑɴ ɑϲϲɩɗεɴτ
Wε ɑʀε ғʀεε τσ ʜɑѵε ɩτ ɑʟʟ
Wε ɑʀε ѡʜɑτ ѡε ѡɑɴτ τσ ʙε
Iτ's ɩɴ συʀsεʟѵεs τσ ʀɩsε σʀ ғɑʟʟ
╚══════════════╝

Rick blinked down at her as she spoke, jerking at his hold on her in an attempt to escape him. She told him not to touch her. She called him a monster, a whore-mondering b*****d, she said she saw what he was doing with Teresa with her own eyes and he shouldn't dare lie to her. But she didn't understand. She still had it wrong. Teresa was as far from his bed as Gabriella was now! Yes, the girl was pretty, and yes, Rick knew he could have her if he wanted, but that was the point! He didn't want her! She was merely going to help him in reaching Julia, and now it seemed he would need all the help he could get, because she still refused to listen to him. She refused to see reason, to even give him a chance to explain. She all but accused him of lying to her and pretending to be something he wasn't, revealing the true monster after the wedding night, destroying her hope and her happiness in one fell swoop... Rick was just feeling the horror set in as he realized she was right, in a way, when his mind latched onto her next words: Don't be part of the baby's life. I don't care...

His hold grew weak, and finally she managed to pull free of him and run off again. For perhaps a moment Rick stood still, but to him it felt as if he stood there frozen for years, watching as she ran from him with a sort of tunnel vision clouding his sight. His heart was suddenly loud enough to be heard in his head and it felt as if cotton was stuffed into his lungs, making it difficult to draw breath. She ran from him, outraged, hurt, and all Rick could think of was that as she ran from him, was that she took the child as well. She was running from him with the child in her womb, placed there by him, and thus half his. His as much as it was hers. And though Rick still felt no desire for it, that did not stop him from suddenly surging forward after her.

"Julia!" he growled loudly, "Run if you no longer love me, that's fine, but don't you dare take my child from me!"

[Losing Our Very Existence]

Julia felt his grip loosen, and she took the opportunity to pull away and start to run down the hall. However, she didn't get far before he spoke again, his words ringing in her head. Run if she no longer loved him...but don't take his child away. His child. His. Yes, he said that. She stopped, making her self lurch forward at the suddeness of it. She did love him. Very much. She was scared of him, and somehow loved him all at the same time. She hated his actions, and the things he said to her, but God, did she love him. It killed her to be away from him...He knew that. He had to know. And she'd never take his child away if he wanted it, but...he didn't...did he?

A quick turn was all it took for her to face him, giving him a look of anger, relief, frustration, and love. "Of course I love you! Of course...of course I..." Julia's voice drifted off, and she took a few steps toward him. He was the old Rick. He just...he had a look in his eyes that made her shiver with fear when he wasn't himself. He had to know that she still loved him, and but she was just upset with him. Until now, he hadn't even claimed the child as his own. Until now, she had been alone in this completely. "I want what's best for this child, Richard. And that would be for us to be together, happy. I can't do that if you don't want to try...I want you in this child's life, and even if it means that I-I have to put a mask on for you to be happy and want it, then I'll do it. Richard, I love you. God! I love you so much that it kills me to be fighting like this, but I want you to want this child. Can you just tell me the real reason why you're against it?"

She took a few steps toward him, and waited patiently for an answer while he stood there. "I want the truth..."