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David2074
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David2074
I seriously doubt this is real news. The wording is just too absurd.
I can find the article a few other places but they all seem to be a verbatim copy/paste of this one.
As the article notes near the end -

"Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you."


Even if it isn't real, I can't find it particularly surprising. Every couple of months we seem to catch a story here of someone putting their genitals in something or putting something in their genitals.


So I was just sitting her gazing around my house. I have a surprising number of things that don't have labels on them telling me not to insert my p***s. Apparently even in the litigious US there is some presumption of common sense.

Did you know that's the real reason we switched from VHS to DVD/Blu-ray?
It was actually as public safety issue. VHS machines have a much larger media slot so the chances of someone inserting his p***s were astronomically higher. And don't even get me started on the even thicker BETA format. Thankfully the government stepped in and gave us DVDs and the crisis was averted.

Unfortunately during this same time frame those wider slot toasters that let you toast bagels became quite popular so there is still some risk. On the plus side, that could lead to self sterilization so it might be a win-win. smile


And here I thought the switch was due to the epidemic of children putting PB&J sandwiches into VHS players. How naive I was.

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Pessimist
David2074
Pessimist
David2074
I seriously doubt this is real news. The wording is just too absurd.
I can find the article a few other places but they all seem to be a verbatim copy/paste of this one.
As the article notes near the end -

"Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you."


Even if it isn't real, I can't find it particularly surprising. Every couple of months we seem to catch a story here of someone putting their genitals in something or putting something in their genitals.


So I was just sitting her gazing around my house. I have a surprising number of things that don't have labels on them telling me not to insert my p***s. Apparently even in the litigious US there is some presumption of common sense.

Did you know that's the real reason we switched from VHS to DVD/Blu-ray?
It was actually as public safety issue. VHS machines have a much larger media slot so the chances of someone inserting his p***s were astronomically higher. And don't even get me started on the even thicker BETA format. Thankfully the government stepped in and gave us DVDs and the crisis was averted.

Unfortunately during this same time frame those wider slot toasters that let you toast bagels became quite popular so there is still some risk. On the plus side, that could lead to self sterilization so it might be a win-win. smile


And here I thought the switch was due to the epidemic of children putting PB&J sandwiches into VHS players. How naive I was.


No, the problem was actually personal lubricant. But when the VCRs got messed up a lot of guys started putting PB&J in to cover their embarrassment. Not everyone is as forth coming as the (probably fictional) guy in post 1 article.

Similar story with why they did away with 8 track players by the way.
A couple (or a single) are parked on lover's lane and next thing you know someone has something stuck in the 8 track player. As a stop gap the government moved to cassette tapes and then later to CD when technology caught up.

Things could be worse though.
At least none of us married our anime character pillow
At least I didn't. I'm assuming none of the rest of you did either. You didn't did you?

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eek ....... I don't think the pasty was created/intended for that use... emotion_facepalm

Hilarious Raider

This guy should have sex with a pencil sharpener next time. We won't have to worry about any offspring inheriting his stupid genes.
Wow, this *better* be an April Fool's. Then again, there's always that one person that has to do something really stupid involving genetalia to get himself in the news. SIGH.

Yuki_Windira's Husband

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Shadowolf
Wow, this *better* be an April Fool's. Then again, there's always that one person that has to do something really stupid involving genetalia to get himself in the news. SIGH.


See the topic about the dude with a jumprope in his d**k yet? emotion_kirakira
JamesWN
Shadowolf
Wow, this *better* be an April Fool's. Then again, there's always that one person that has to do something really stupid involving genetalia to get himself in the news. SIGH.


See the topic about the dude with a jumprope in his d**k yet? emotion_kirakira


Wutttttt, I have not. That is.... just, omg, what is this world coming to gonk gonk gonk
I wanna hope this is satire, but I know there are some really stupid and ******** up individuals in this world. Hell, we gotta put a warning on a costume superman cape WARNING PEOPLE THAT IT WILL NOT ENABLE THEM TO FLY! What the ******** ********!? Seriously, remove the warnings, ******** government regulation. Let these stupid morons kill themselves off. Then we wont have anybody complaining about over population, China will probably be able to get rid of the one child policy within a decade.

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Kothlim
I wanna hope this is satire, but I know there are some really stupid and ******** up individuals in this world. Hell, we gotta put a warning on a costume superman cape WARNING PEOPLE THAT IT WILL NOT ENABLE THEM TO FLY! What the ******** ********!? Seriously, remove the warnings, ******** government regulation. Let these stupid morons kill themselves off. Then we wont have anybody complaining about over population, China will probably be able to get rid of the one child policy within a decade.


.....? *googles* .... .... .... .... emotion_facepalm

... ... ... *posts signs around that pissing on electric fences will give someone an incredible O* >.>
JamesWN
Kothlim
I wanna hope this is satire, but I know there are some really stupid and ******** up individuals in this world. Hell, we gotta put a warning on a costume superman cape WARNING PEOPLE THAT IT WILL NOT ENABLE THEM TO FLY! What the ******** ********!? Seriously, remove the warnings, ******** government regulation. Let these stupid morons kill themselves off. Then we wont have anybody complaining about over population, China will probably be able to get rid of the one child policy within a decade.


.....? *googles* .... .... .... .... emotion_facepalm

... ... ... *posts signs around that pissing on electric fences will give someone an incredible O* >.>


Put them next to the "warning, high voltage" signs. see which one they believe.

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