Man has sex with hot Greggs pasty – burns p***s

[You make Mii ink]

David2074

I seriously doubt this is real news. The wording is just too absurd.
I can find the article a few other places but they all seem to be a verbatim copy/paste of this one.
As the article notes near the end -

"Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you."

I've actually seen legit articles like this. ANY DAMN THING can become news, even our personal lives, apparently..... eek

[inu no bakax]

Quote:

never have I seen a sign warning you not to put your p***s into one of their products

LOL

[Insanity Beckons Us]

Wow... just wow...

[Sarkura_Haruno_21]

lol

[Pessimist]

David2074

I seriously doubt this is real news. The wording is just too absurd.
I can find the article a few other places but they all seem to be a verbatim copy/paste of this one.
As the article notes near the end -

"Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you."

Even if it isn't real, I can't find it particularly surprising. Every couple of months we seem to catch a story here of someone putting their genitals in something or putting something in their genitals.

[Yuki_Windira]

JamesWN

BerserkLeon

Srintella Tiagara

Apperenlty not because there are warnings all over the place.

Look here

do not put screwdriver in p***s...
Why would you even... Ugh

Sounding. Something I wish I had never learned about.

And I can imagine the fine print on these products now: Do not have sex with food.

whatever happened to buying sex toys or finding a corner lady? x-x;

[Caerthakatha]

I call bollocks: nothing from Greggs is ever hotter than lukewarm.

Not to mention that it's obviously a joke article from a questionable source.

[Ask Jappleack]

Malee

Isn't there a story out there about a guy doing this same thing with a hot pocket? Seriously it it's going to burn your fingers while hot probably going to burn other parts of you too.

except the story on that one is they made a vine out of it and uploaded it

[Reiko Iwamaru]

Wow...well I don't mean to be brazen but..

This man is the definition of the phrase "******** retarded".

He needs therapy. And even if he DOES go through with this, this is a waste of everyone's time and I'm going to laugh in his face nonstop once he loses his case and goes into a mental institution. Like seriously.

[M15CH13F]

Avengers Assemble GO

Quote:

A 32 year old sales manager from Cheshire is contemplating suing a local Greggs store after having sex with a chicken pasty and burning his p***s. Howard Russell loves pasties so much that he has developed a weird sexual fetish for having sex with them, but he got more than he bargained for after one of the heated snacks burnt his bellend.
Nursing his tender member, Mr Russell told the Sunday Sport, “I have been into Greggs many, many times and never have I seen a sign warning you not to put your p***s into one of their products – especially after it has been reheated.

“That, to me, is a clear case of negligence and I intend to sue.
“I made a phone call to one of those solicitors who advertise on the telly but unfortunately the person on the end of the phone had some sort of coughing fit when I explained my predicament.
“I ran my helmet under cold water straight away but I’m still in agony and can barely walk. It’s covered in blisters. I may never be able to have sex with a pasty again.”
Greggs was unavailable for comment, and it is not known whether they will be putting warnings on their pasties from now on. The story is currently trending on Twitter with the hashtags #pastiegate and #shagapasty.
Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you.

What the hell?

Haha!! Didn't expect to see this posted on Gaia xD
Did you see this on Facebook too Avenger? smile

[Avengers Assemble GO]

x_Oreo_x_Panda_x

Avengers Assemble GO

Quote:

A 32 year old sales manager from Cheshire is contemplating suing a local Greggs store after having sex with a chicken pasty and burning his p***s. Howard Russell loves pasties so much that he has developed a weird sexual fetish for having sex with them, but he got more than he bargained for after one of the heated snacks burnt his bellend.
Nursing his tender member, Mr Russell told the Sunday Sport, “I have been into Greggs many, many times and never have I seen a sign warning you not to put your p***s into one of their products – especially after it has been reheated.

“That, to me, is a clear case of negligence and I intend to sue.
“I made a phone call to one of those solicitors who advertise on the telly but unfortunately the person on the end of the phone had some sort of coughing fit when I explained my predicament.
“I ran my helmet under cold water straight away but I’m still in agony and can barely walk. It’s covered in blisters. I may never be able to have sex with a pasty again.”
Greggs was unavailable for comment, and it is not known whether they will be putting warnings on their pasties from now on. The story is currently trending on Twitter with the hashtags #pastiegate and #shagapasty.
Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you.

What the hell?

Haha!! Didn't expect to see this posted on Gaia xD
Did you see this on Facebook too Avenger? smile

No my boyfriend told me about it...

[M15CH13F]

Avengers Assemble GO

x_Oreo_x_Panda_x

Avengers Assemble GO

Quote:

A 32 year old sales manager from Cheshire is contemplating suing a local Greggs store after having sex with a chicken pasty and burning his p***s. Howard Russell loves pasties so much that he has developed a weird sexual fetish for having sex with them, but he got more than he bargained for after one of the heated snacks burnt his bellend.
Nursing his tender member, Mr Russell told the Sunday Sport, “I have been into Greggs many, many times and never have I seen a sign warning you not to put your p***s into one of their products – especially after it has been reheated.

“That, to me, is a clear case of negligence and I intend to sue.
“I made a phone call to one of those solicitors who advertise on the telly but unfortunately the person on the end of the phone had some sort of coughing fit when I explained my predicament.
“I ran my helmet under cold water straight away but I’m still in agony and can barely walk. It’s covered in blisters. I may never be able to have sex with a pasty again.”
Greggs was unavailable for comment, and it is not known whether they will be putting warnings on their pasties from now on. The story is currently trending on Twitter with the hashtags #pastiegate and #shagapasty.
Whether the article is an early April Fools or not there is one thing for sure, you wouldn’t go to a national newspaper if you burnt your p***s on a Greggs pasty would you.

What the hell?

Haha!! Didn't expect to see this posted on Gaia xD
Did you see this on Facebook too Avenger? smile

No my boyfriend told me about it...

Oh right, I saw it on Facebook a while back, but I'm sure it was before April Fools day. Could have been wrong mind you haha

[This Isnt Sparta]

Srintella Tiagara

Apperenlty not because there are warnings all over the place.

Look here

Oh great. Now every microwavable pastry is going to need a "please wait at least 5 minutes to cool before engaging in coitus" label. Goddammit. emotion_donotwant

[MasturChef]

Hold on, hold on...

You mean to tell me this wasn't an American?