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Apocalyptic Cutesmasher

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News of the Weird

Quote:
Suspect no hero, assaults wife with late-night snack

MELBETA — A Melbeta man remained in jail Monday after he allegedly assaulted his wife with a sandwich.

Fifty-year-old Larry Spurling is accused of disturbing the peace by “pushing (his wife) down and rubbing a sandwich in her face.”

He appeared in Scotts Bluff County Court Monday on a charge of disturbing the peace, a misdemeanor, in the alleged assault, which occurred Sunday.

According to an arrest affidavit, Spurling’s wife had called 911 and reported that the suspect had assaulted her at about 10 p.m. on Sunday. The woman told responding deputies that her husband had become irate, blaming her for making him live in the country and for his boredom.

During the argument, she said, her husband drank three 24-ounce cans of malt liquor. The woman “got tired” of the argument, the deputy said, made herself a sandwich and went into the bedroom.

Shortly after the woman went into the bedroom, her husband followed her and continued to argue with her. The argument became physical, with both parties pushing each other around the bedroom.

“During the altercation between Mr. Spurling and his wife, Mr. Spurling pulled Ms. Spurling’s hair, pushed her down onto the bed, took the sandwich and began rubbing it into Ms. Spurling’s face,” the deputy said in the report.

Court documents don’t detail the ingredients, stating only that the responding deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside of the Spurling’s bedroom and some pieces of sandwich bread inside the bedroom. Spurling’s wife also had mayonnaise stains on her shirt, which she said were the result of her husband rubbing the sandwich in her face. She said she had washed mayonnaise from her face and hair before the deputy arrived.

Another resident of the home, a woman, told deputies she had heard a verbal argument between the couple, but that she did not witness any violence while the couple were in the living room.

Before deputies arrived, Spurling had left the home. During that time, power to the trailer had been disconnected.

Deputies found Spurling lying face down on grass about 10 feet from the home. Officers placed him under arrest for domestic assault, though he denied the allegations and claimed his wife had assaulted him.


source

Quotable Informer

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and it's okay to smash wedding cake in your new spouses face. I don't get it.

Sparkly Lunatic

xdivision_whitey
and it's okay to smash wedding cake in your new spouses face. I don't get it.
I would imagine that its because it's largely considered consensual. There's no hair pulling and shoving the other down while the cake is rubbed in their face. I'd imagine that the smushing of wedding cake in another's face is something the couple's talk about, or at least expect, via tradition.
Or something of the sort.

Also, how rude! And dangerous! Even though it would be detrimental to the investigation to wash off the remains of the sandwich I'm not sure I can blame her for doing so. That would be absolutely humiliating.
Not to mention being at risk for suffocation, or catching pneumonia after inhaling food particles. What a jerk!

Lord Elwrind's Queen

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I know what it's like not being allowed to 'escape' from an argument. Hubby, when he is acting like a two year old throwing temper tantrums, can keep it up for two or more weeks for no reason other than to rage cause "he's mad". Mad about something that was HIS fault mind you. His fault because he still does not "get it". He has brought it up on several occasions and will bring it up again because there is no way to "educated" him on the matter, so...

Distinct Browser

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POOR SAMMICH!

Lord Elwrind's Queen

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Phallic Wonderland
POOR SAMMICH!


Are you seriously gonna hug that?
so will NY ban sandwiches now?

Distinct Browser

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Nyadriel
Phallic Wonderland
POOR SAMMICH!


Are you seriously gonna hug that?


This news is dumb, and I'm bored. I feel for the food wasted by a drunk.

Playful Guildswoman

Vampirate Kitsune
News of the Weird

...

Before deputies arrived, Spurling had left the home. During that time, power to the trailer had been disconnected.

Deputies found Spurling lying face down on grass about 10 feet from the home. Officers placed him under arrest for domestic assault, though he denied the allegations and claimed his wife had assaulted him.


source

my burning question was due to a misreading of the bolded words above - I thought he disconnected the home, a trailer....however, it does become a bit more than a mutual fight ending with a smeared sandwich. Wonder what would have happened if he hadn't passed out? Doesn't say if wife was drinking too.

Snuggly Buddy

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Another episode of COPS played out in real life.
Some adults continue to act like children.

Demonic Fairy

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I think there's some missing information, here. For one, what kind of a sandwich was it?

...I'm sorry, I get this way when I'm hungry. gonk

Original Humorist

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Well, there are definitely worse things that could have happened....
I was hoping it was because the woman made the sammich for him and he got angry because she failed to put something on it...

Other then that it's horrible still!

"Make me a sammich!"
Ok; honey!
*Comes back with sammich*
Here you go my love! <3
*Man bites sammich*
"This has no tomato!!!" scream
But, love we ran out! gonk
*Man rages and attacks with sammich*

Shameless Giver

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Redneck/white trash troubles. Similar to first world troubles, but more twangier.

Apparently twangier is a word. Spell check gave no never mind blaugh

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Nyadriel
I know what it's like not being allowed to 'escape' from an argument. Hubby, when he is acting like a two year old throwing temper tantrums, can keep it up for two or more weeks for no reason other than to rage cause "he's mad". Mad about something that was HIS fault mind you. His fault because he still does not "get it". He has brought it up on several occasions and will bring it up again because there is no way to "educated" him on the matter, so...

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