Bullied to Death / I love you daddy

[fatimagic]

Mitsumi-chan

Suicide isn't the easy way out. I kind of hate that stigma. It's what people resort to when they felt like they've exhausted all of their other options.

It's not- I had a bad day, so I'm going to kill myself.
It's- I've lived miserably for several years and there's no way out.

THANK YOU.

[Antari Wind]

x0_FATIMAGIC

Alexander J Luthor

Hold on to your hats, kids, I'm about to be the biggest d**k in this thread.

Some poor girl killed herself because of what others did to her? Boo hoo, that's terrible. She took the easy way out and there is no denying that little fact. Saying "she didn't kill herself, they killed her" is a little bit of bullshit and you all know it.

Now, if the school has a zero-tolerance policy then the people who bullied her openly should be arrested and tried as adults for manslaughter. Minor privledges be damned, plaster their names on the new stations. Other bullies will learn their place when they realize that prison is a real option.

I was bullied in school, too. High school was THE WORST four years of my life. Even after I proved that I could kick some a** there was still talk about me that the bullies hoped I would hear, but that's when you have to buck up and take the situation into your own hands.

This girl screwed herself over by trying to make friends with her attackers. Life isn't like some crappy teen sitcom where the character gets to know their bully and they part ways as unlikely friends. You don't make friends with assholes; you makes friends with people like you, who like you. Assholes will keep saying terrible things behind your back. Friends will watch your back.


As for the OP: Your kid is pretty much screwed, but you need to keep trying for every last second. Have you done anything other than look for therapists? Have you talked to the teachers, the bullies' parents, or the bullies themselves? If your daughter doesn't care anymore then, by all means, go to school with her and kick some underage a**. If you think she needs more friends then help her find some. Build a social group for bullied teens around your daughter's age and do fun stuff; not sit there and just talk about getting bullied all he time. That's just like asking them if they'd like to drink from the proverbial punch bowl. Derpression is a thing that your daughter will have to learn to throw in the back seat if she wants to have any semblance of a real life.


Does no one see that these anti-bully campaigns are not going to help one bit if they are only going to be blamed for what our children do to themselves? That sounds more like irresponsible parenting. Real parents would blame the bullies for their own actions, so the victims don't have to take any.

/end rant.

Everybody handles situations like that differently. Have you ever been SUICIDAL? There's a HUGE different between feeling depressed and humiliated because you're being bullied, and feeling like you want to literally take your own life because of how much pain you're in.

Now, unless you've been in the latter experience, it doesn't matter how much you've been bullied. Being suicidal is different from just being hurt or depressed. You don't have the right to judge other people's actions because you think you know what they're going through. The truth is, nobody will ever truly know what another person is going through, because we aall have our own individual experiences in life.

Being insensitive about these issues will not help others with their problems, or help you get your point across.

I agree with you and I was suicidal at first before I decided negativity gains me nothing, I failed in killing myself twice because my skin is apparently thicker than I assumed.

[fatimagic]

Antari Wind

x0_FATIMAGIC

Alexander J Luthor

Hold on to your hats, kids, I'm about to be the biggest d**k in this thread.

Some poor girl killed herself because of what others did to her? Boo hoo, that's terrible. She took the easy way out and there is no denying that little fact. Saying "she didn't kill herself, they killed her" is a little bit of bullshit and you all know it.

Now, if the school has a zero-tolerance policy then the people who bullied her openly should be arrested and tried as adults for manslaughter. Minor privledges be damned, plaster their names on the new stations. Other bullies will learn their place when they realize that prison is a real option.

I was bullied in school, too. High school was THE WORST four years of my life. Even after I proved that I could kick some a** there was still talk about me that the bullies hoped I would hear, but that's when you have to buck up and take the situation into your own hands.

This girl screwed herself over by trying to make friends with her attackers. Life isn't like some crappy teen sitcom where the character gets to know their bully and they part ways as unlikely friends. You don't make friends with assholes; you makes friends with people like you, who like you. Assholes will keep saying terrible things behind your back. Friends will watch your back.


As for the OP: Your kid is pretty much screwed, but you need to keep trying for every last second. Have you done anything other than look for therapists? Have you talked to the teachers, the bullies' parents, or the bullies themselves? If your daughter doesn't care anymore then, by all means, go to school with her and kick some underage a**. If you think she needs more friends then help her find some. Build a social group for bullied teens around your daughter's age and do fun stuff; not sit there and just talk about getting bullied all he time. That's just like asking them if they'd like to drink from the proverbial punch bowl. Derpression is a thing that your daughter will have to learn to throw in the back seat if she wants to have any semblance of a real life.


Does no one see that these anti-bully campaigns are not going to help one bit if they are only going to be blamed for what our children do to themselves? That sounds more like irresponsible parenting. Real parents would blame the bullies for their own actions, so the victims don't have to take any.

/end rant.

Everybody handles situations like that differently. Have you ever been SUICIDAL? There's a HUGE different between feeling depressed and humiliated because you're being bullied, and feeling like you want to literally take your own life because of how much pain you're in.

Now, unless you've been in the latter experience, it doesn't matter how much you've been bullied. Being suicidal is different from just being hurt or depressed. You don't have the right to judge other people's actions because you think you know what they're going through. The truth is, nobody will ever truly know what another person is going through, because we aall have our own individual experiences in life.

Being insensitive about these issues will not help others with their problems, or help you get your point across.

I agree with you and I was suicidal at first before I decided negativity gains me nothing, I failed in killing myself twice because my skin is apparently thicker than I assumed.

Well, I'm glad that you failed. <3

[missfiendclub]

To be honest, I just want to say that this story is just terribly sad and that I wish people could be taught that no matter how many of your peers in high school or middle school ridicule you for who you are or what you look like or wear or think, there's always going to be an amazing group of people that will befriend you and support you and have your back because for the very same reasons. These kids need to learn to listen to their friends and families, not their enemies! I wish someone told me that a long time ago, instead I learned it for myself in my last year of high school. Seriously, high school is four years of your life, and then you never have to go through it again. It's not your whole life, it's only a small portion of it, and the social aspect of it shouldn't be taken as seriously as some kids do. They choose to listen to their enemies and they aren't fighting back. It's sad, but it can be stopped. Teachers aren't stepping up, principals aren't stepping up, and the only person that can stop the bullying is the victims themselves. As hard as it sounds, you have to be strong. I was there too, and believe me, I graduated high school and it got so much better. There's life after high school, and a much better one at that.

[stormylane]

There are just some kids who are more sensitive than others & feel things deeper.

My older sister was taunted in high school.
Other kids were cruel, they called her a fat slut, ugly, pizza face... you name it.
But she had a very strong spirit, she handled it and it made her a stronger and more caring & outgoing person.

As for me, I cried over the hurtful things kids said about my sister.
To this day she doesn't know how hurt I was over the abuse she took... she doesn't know how I cried or the shame I felt for her.
I always thought that strong front she put on was phony and I was sure she was breaking inside.

As for me, if anyone called me a slut or b***h... I cried.
I did not have the inner strength my peers seemed to have.
I could never have lived with the abuse my sister put up with.

We can't judge others on how WE would have handled being bullied.
Some kids are just more sensitive than others.
That doesn't mean they are weak.... they are just who they are.

Some kids turn their anger inward & hurt themselves.
Others.... if pushed too far... will go Columbine on their abusers.

[Alexander J Luthor]

stormylane

You are of course entitled to your opinions on the matter.

I use to think suicide was "taking the easy way out" ... I no longer feel that way.
Most people are afraid to die.
Well, maybe not most... but a huge portion of our society are afraid to die. (maybe it's the fear of the unknown, or the pain associated with terminal illnesses. (or accidents)

In any case, I no longer view these hurting kids as cowards who are just looking for an easy out.
They are just children, who reason like children & look for any out. So, they face... the unknown believing anything is better than what they are enduring.

As for our situation... we've done everything we could think of short of going to the media. (and anyone who knows me knows I am not unwilling to do just that)
In any case, my daughter has a therapist now, she's been to see a doctor (yesterday) who actually advised us to pull her out of school. She has entered the red zone.
GPA has dropped to 0.00
Situations have been reported to the school... and there is a third party involved who acts as her voice in meetings with the school, teachers & bus drivers.
Her mentor told me today that the school's way of handling bullies is deplorable.
They expect to work these situations out like some cheesy after-school special & like you said... end up unlikely friends. She said there is just no way to stop bullying until schools are willing to make the bully accountable for their behavior.

We also got her a gym membership because working out increases one's endorphins & thus can make one feels better.

I am by no means a passive parent.
I informed the school that teachers who witness bullying & don't act are being reported to CPS.
(it's a long shot but hey... something has got to give these teachers a reason to stop ignoring the behavior of the star athletes)
If a parent knowingly ignores the physical or emotional abuse inflicted upon their child by another adult they risk Protective Services coming down on their backsides. Why not teachers?
Who cares if the offender is 16 or 17, they are old enough to drive, go to the doctor on their own... make most of their own choices & can be tried as adults if they commit a felony.

I wonder how other countries handle bullying & bullied to death situations.
I don't hear about Asian teens killing themselves because of peer bullying.
I sense a google search coming on.

I do try not to be a d**k, but I'm a crippling realist.

Of course most people are afraid to die, that doesn't mean people should be rewarded for jumping that hurtle into an early grave. Conquering your fear of death entails that you face the fear and don't fall under the pressure. My girfriend and I both "suffer" from depression and though I use my fear of death to keep away from suicide, she's completely resolved that we will all die someday and sees no point in worrying about it. In all honesty I've never met another person who is as sure as she is on the subject.

I'm not intending on calling you a passive parent, either. I just read your post and went by today's standards, which involves most parents going to therapy first, then medication, which you don't seem like the type of person to drug your kid up in order to solve the problem. By all means, contact your news station. Being exposed to the rest of the world's distain is the only way to get people moving nowadays.

That search would really depend on the country. Japan actually has a pretty high suicide rate among most age brackets. It's mostly stress-related. Many of the teen-aged suicides stem from pressure from parents to be perfect, friends to be awesome, teachers to be the next Einstein, and bullies to be normal. They actually have a word for shut-ins who drop out of school and live secluded in the bedrooms of their houses... Found it!! It's Hikikmori. They're used in a lot of teen/young adult anime and manga. In America, they're related to the 30+ year old men who live in their mothers' basements.

There's even a list of hikikomori characters in anime and manga. Something tells me this list hasn't been updated though.

[Alexander J Luthor]

x0_FATIMAGIC

Everybody handles situations like that differently. Have you ever been SUICIDAL? There's a HUGE different between feeling depressed and humiliated because you're being bullied, and feeling like you want to literally take your own life because of how much pain you're in.

Now, unless you've been in the latter experience, it doesn't matter how much you've been bullied. Being suicidal is different from just being hurt or depressed. You don't have the right to judge other people's actions because you think you know what they're going through. The truth is, nobody will ever truly know what another person is going through, because we aall have our own individual experiences in life.

Being insensitive about these issues will not help others with their problems, or help you get your point across.

I'm a crippling realist; it's the only way I personally can keep from killing myself now, and it's the only real way to approach this situation. It's because of people who feel too emphatically that I was labeled a bully when I was thoroughly attacked in school. Do you know what that does to someone who is already being tormented? Suddenly the teachers don't give a damn because they think you're just like the people who are really hurting others.

Suicide is selfish. Not everyone can afford to cut their pain away because not everyone's parents can afford to send them to a therapist or some support group every week. Some people have to suck it up and pretend to be hapy because they have school, work, families, friends, and no money. Besides, it's a little bit of a faux pas to kill yourself after your sister failed twice and was sent to a happy home because her boyfriend had a bad day and didn't recover. Just because we all don't show it, doesn't mean we all don't feel it.

Being insensitive allows you to see the situation for what it truly is; a cry for help from someone who can no longer be helped. They still want someone to save them, but it's not exactly possible to bring back the dead.

[Catalyste]

I understand that victims usually don't want trouble, they want to be left alone. Usually these victims are good kids who just want to get along. They don't want to break rules. They just want a nice day at school.

I've raised my 18 year old brother and I remember my elementary & early high school days. I was bullied and my brother was bullied.

It's hard to say what will work and what won't.

I fought back, physically. I screamed out loud to get attention from teachers as well. When I fought, that person never messed with me again, however given that the neighborhood was a ghetto, it's not so easy. More people crop up and the person you fought is walking around with hurt pride. I've encountered people I never even spoken to before coming up to me wanting to fight. I didn't like fighting, but I wanted them to leave me alone. For those I fought, they never bothered me in that respect again. Everyday I looked at that day as better than the last. I was still being bullied, even when I reached my first high school. It wasn't till I got an injury that took me out of school where I had the opportunity to finally heal. We moved house to the other side of town and I sought my goal there. I just wanted to make friends, and that's exactly what I got. I switched schools and was finally able to be around kids who didn't shun me.

My brother never liked to fight and he never fought physically. He was bullied. He looked the vulnerable type as well as being a chubby little kid. He tried his best to hide his pain, but I don't think anyone understands how horrifying it is to hear an 8 year old talk about wanting to kill himself unless they've been through that. It was such a slippery thing to deal with because he was so young and resentful of the world.

We're both fine now. He's got a great group of friends and he's made so much progress. He told me that he no longer thinks of suicide, he sees no point to it.

However we moved out of state. No it wasn't due to bullying, it was because of health reasons.

My problem with school systems is that they tie up the teacher's hands with a bunch of red tape. No one is permitted to intervene unless a physical confrontation erupts. However a majority of bullying happens behind the staff's back. No one is there to help the victim and no one is there to reprimand perpetrators. And yet when the perps are caught in some verbal act of abuse, they're only given a warning. A small one.

There are times where I greatly wish that there were heavy consequences for bullying. I wish there were more ways for a teacher to see signs of someone being bullied for a while and weed out those responsible for it.

I really truly wish.

Even though I know parents are called in for a conference, I've also known parents to not give a care. I know schools have connections to Child Protection Services (well in NY they do), but I wonder if they'll call CPS on parents who have kids who bully others?

[Je Nique vos Merdiers]

As a matter of fact, it is not just the ones that are being bullied that are victims, the bullies themselves are victims as well, and there's still time to turn them.

Bullying stems from an attachment disorder, in other words, the bullies have shitty parents, who in turn probably had shitty parents themselves.

[Yilanti Midnight]

Catalyste

My problem with school systems is that they tie up the teacher's hands with a bunch of red tape. No one is permitted to intervene unless a physical confrontation erupts. However a majority of bullying happens behind the staff's back. No one is there to help the victim and no one is there to reprimand perpetrators. And yet when the perps are caught in some verbal act of abuse, they're only given a warning. A small one.

This this this freaking this. I remember being mad at teachers for not intervening whenever we noticed someone being obviously bullied. But now that my boyfriend is a teacher he tells me how incredibly hard it is to punish anyone for anything at all. He so much as yells and he's got angry children, parents and collegues breathing down his neck.

And even he doesn't notice it most of the time because these kids are so good at hiding this. You ask the victims and they'll deny everything. It's like trying to get someone to snitch on the maffia.

[fatimagic]

Alexander J Luthor

x0_FATIMAGIC

Everybody handles situations like that differently. Have you ever been SUICIDAL? There's a HUGE different between feeling depressed and humiliated because you're being bullied, and feeling like you want to literally take your own life because of how much pain you're in.

Now, unless you've been in the latter experience, it doesn't matter how much you've been bullied. Being suicidal is different from just being hurt or depressed. You don't have the right to judge other people's actions because you think you know what they're going through. The truth is, nobody will ever truly know what another person is going through, because we aall have our own individual experiences in life.

Being insensitive about these issues will not help others with their problems, or help you get your point across.

I'm a crippling realist; it's the only way I personally can keep from killing myself now, and it's the only real way to approach this situation. It's because of people who feel too emphatically that I was labeled a bully when I was thoroughly attacked in school. Do you know what that does to someone who is already being tormented? Suddenly the teachers don't give a damn because they think you're just like the people who are really hurting others.

Suicide is selfish. Not everyone can afford to cut their pain away because not everyone's parents can afford to send them to a therapist or some support group every week. Some people have to suck it up and pretend to be hapy because they have school, work, families, friends, and no money. Besides, it's a little bit of a faux pas to kill yourself after your sister failed twice and was sent to a happy home because her boyfriend had a bad day and didn't recover. Just because we all don't show it, doesn't mean we all don't feel it.

Being insensitive allows you to see the situation for what it truly is; a cry for help from someone who can no longer be helped. They still want someone to save them, but it's not exactly possible to bring back the dead.

It's never too late for someone to get help, unless they have taken their life. In some respects, suicide is selfish, but a lot of people who are suicidal don't feel that way. They feel as though the world would be better off without them.

Once again, being insensitive get you nowhere.

[Madam Shirley]

Two years? b***h, please. I've been bullied my whole life. Ever since NURSERY. That is why I am now homeschooled. stare

[but i do like you]

girls are mean bitches.

[JD Fanclub President]

but i do like you

girls are mean bitches.

True that!

[Eden_hummel]

From my experince from being bullyed from middle school untell i graduated high school, bullys realy dont give a ******** becuase they feal like they are above the system. Also when they chose some poor soul to pick on, it wouldnt matter what they do or how they change. the victome could make him/her self perfict and a bully would make some thing up to use on ther chosen victum.

Now if you allow me to say some thing for thous on here right now, a bit of advise. I you are being picked on and you are thinking of killing your self, or others. First i want you to take a deep breath and calm down. Now think about it, What use would killing your self do? NUTHING! You heard me, the bullys may give a sob to fool administration, but the fact is that killing your self would only give them the greatist form on controll, and the same can be said about going on a killing spree. It would not stop them from being bitches and d**k heads towards you or others. Yes i know, going to school now may feal like you are being held in a darwinest Orwellian zoo filled with only rabid monkeys run by incompitent idiots. But things will get better when you are finaly done and over with them, becuase work places dont put up with bull s**t, and Collage classes are filled with people who are achualy ther to accualy learn, and have an interest in the subject. So in short, it does get better, and dont let thous a** hats run your life!