SHUT UP, THE DOCTOR HAS SOMTHING TO SAY!
If you really knew me... Thats a good show, I think. Now I ge to share... Yay?
If you really knew me, you'd see the mask I put on every day. I never want to be depressed, or at least show it, because I don't want to bring my friends down because I am. If you really knew me, you'd know that my mom left me and my dad for somebody in Canada for nearly two years. She came back, but I've never forgiven her. I can't find it in me. My dad has a temper, and I often think he is semi bi polar. He could be happy as hell one second, and flip out, yelling the next second. I go in my room and plug my ears, trying to ignore it. Good thing he rarely yells AT me, but the yelling itself is hurtful. If you really knew me, you'd know that my father hates my mother, and my mother hates my father. They have split custody of me, and when I go to my moms, she talks s**t on dad. When I go to my fathers, he talks s**t on mom, but he tries to tone it down because he knows how it hurts me. If you really knew me you'd know my dad is trying to get full custody of me, but I am starting to think after, what, eight years, I'm finally building some sort of relationship with my mother. My mother is addicted to pescriptio drugs that put her to sleep and make her brain work weird, and they give her tha shakes. If you really knew me you would know that I went into depression and because of it I turned down the wrong path, smoking weed and drinking alcohol, and I'm underage. Thankfully, I've been sober for over a month, and haven't smoked in three weeks. But I still want it, its an escape, I guess. I know its stupid, and it could wreck my life, but it passes the time and wipes the emotions from me temporarily. If you really knew me, you'd know that my mother hit me, but is in total denial about it. If you really knew me, you'd know that I am not actually happy and upbeat all the time on the inside. I put on a smile, while on the inside I feel like dying. Two years ago I cut myself every day for a short period of time before my friends convinced me to stop. If you really knew me, you'd know that I struggle in school and lost all hope in getting into a good college. If you really knew me, you'd know that I believe my hopes and dreams of being a writer and a photographer are dead. If you really knew me, you'd know that at 11:11 each night, I wish for the upcoming years to pass quickly, until I'm finally eighteen, so I can move away from my parents and they can continue hating each other, without me involved.
Now holy s**t that was long, but it felt sorta good to get off of my chest.
OKAY, NOW WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?