Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

So yeah. What aren't YOU allowed to do at Hogwarts?

Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house.	6.8%	[ 140 ]
Telling everyone that the condition of Professor Snape's hair has something to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."	5.3%	[ 109 ]
I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"	16.8%	[ 343 ]
Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane' and I should stop asking if I can be his ho.	12.3%	[ 252 ]
Selling Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.	13.5%	[ 276 ]
Under no circumstances am I to attempt to create a Holy Hand Grenade.	7.6%	[ 156 ]
I will not Polyjuice myself and a friend to look like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, then give each other passionate kisses in public.	9.2%	[ 189 ]
Replying every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you ******** Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.	14.9%	[ 305 ]
Draco Malfoy's name is not Westley, nor the Dread Pirate Roberts, and I should stop referring to him as such.	6.7%	[ 137 ]
I mustn't do bad things while polyjuiced to incriminate someone isn't right (Especially going as Harry, Draco, or Ron to hit on one of the other two).	6.7%	[ 137 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2044 ]

[nickjonas3lifebdsfsxf]

Wearing t-shirts that promote the Dark Lord is not a good idea. Not a good idea at all...

I will not stalk Professor Lupin with a camera and act like it's a Steve Irwin specialty on werewolves.

I will not steal Harry's invisibility cloak and hide in the Gryffindor boy's dorm room, no matter how tempting it is.

I will not give Harry's invisibility cloak to Peeves, even if it IS funny.

I will not sneak magical creatures into the school. *looks pointedly at Hagrid*

The theory of sleeping with the Professors to get good grades is not something I should experiment.

I will not take my destructive puppy to Sirius for a good scolding.

I will not kill all rats in sight in high hopes of killing Wormtail.

I will not say that Hermione's excuse for her big hair is because it's full of secrets.

I will not draw very suggestive pictures of Professor Lupin and Professor Snape and leave them lying around in the halls.

I will not make bets with my fellow students on how long our latest DADA Professor will last.

I will not paint mustaches on the portraits while they are sleeping.

[Colette Longbottom]

whee I love these! Okay here's mine:
1) I will not introduce Peeves to paint balling
2)If a thought of a spell cause me to giggle for more than 36 seconds I must assume it is illleal/inapporate and not allowed to use it
3) I will not dye the entire Slytherin's Quiditch team hair red and gold before the final match with Griffindor.
4)I will not under any circumstances wear my "I'm a deatheater and proud of it!" T-shirt to school, town, or anywhere in the magical world.
5)I will not dress as a deatheater for halloween, even if its the only costume idea left.

[Charatka_nyo]

Mine:

1) I won't write "Surrender, Dorothy" om the sky during Quidditch.
2) I will not insist that I'm an elf and therefore I can use spells in Quenya.
3) I won't insist that there is an alchemical conspiracy about crucyfying all Slytherins made by Nicolas Flammel himself and I won't show his sigil for a prof. See here
And my fav one:
4) I won't lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in the cupboard to see if hot gay sex will occur.

[xBasketballx]

I will not tell Draco that his mother is a hamster. xD
[Ferret refference.]

[Merovingion]

-I will not steal Harry's invisibility cloak in order to sneak in to the girls dormatory.

-I will not use Dumbledore's pensive to store my own personal thoughts.

-Using bottle rockets in attempt to make a failed dark mark appearence is not a good idea.

-Using my wand to burn things is not a good idea either.

-I will not attempt to bungee jump off of the top of the castle. . . .again.

-All girls do wear something under their skirts.

-Video cameras are banned from the magical world.

-Never have more than one girlfriend, they do know magic you know.

-Never challenge Snape into a duel.

[nickjonas3lifebdsfsxf]

I will not steal Remus Lupin's chocolate, in fear of death. o__.

I won't make Harry Potter and Voldemort finger puppets and reinact Voldemort's defeat in front of possible Death Eaters.... in fear of death.

[Kimmeh = Geek]

It is not appropriate to convince first years that playboy is a required textbook.

[nickjonas3lifebdsfsxf]

It is not in my best interest to tell first years that Professor Snape enjoys it when his students make loud, inappropriate comments about his greasy hair and his ability to avoid showers.

I will not, for the sake of my mental sanity, walk into Dumble's office unannounced.

I won't direct first years into the Forbidden Forest for their initiation. The second floor girl's bathroom will do...

[The_Rogue_Muffin]

I will not clog moaning myrles toilet with newspapers stating her death

[Merovingion]

-I will always remember to attend class fully clothed.

-Dancing is the halls is prohibited.

-Your boxers cannot be worn as a hat.

-Throwing things at Snape is funny.

-First years are gulliable.

[The Penguin Overlord]

I only wish....

These entertain me to no end. I wish I could think of some.
hmmm....
I will not transfigure Ron Weasley's school supplies into spiders.
I will not transfigure Harry Potter into a spider. (Honestly I don't ship but some things I just can't pass up)
I will not call Fenrir Greyback, Jack Bauer. (you had to have watched the premier of 24 today.)
I know these suck but my imagination is like dead.

that love and society would agree.

[YKawashima]

I will not tell the first years that their wands are really used nose pickers

I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is always late so they can be too.

[AmyPorcupine]

-I will not pull a prank on first years
-I will not swap there potions ingredients before there class starts*is very tempted to do this ^^;*

[Merovingion]

-Starting a food fight in the Great Hall is fun, but prohibited

-School isn't fun unless you pick a fight, just don't get caught.

-Never play Quidditch indoors.

-Streaking is prohibited, unless you want to embarass yourself.

-(guys) Never scratch 'yourself' with you wand.

-Messanger owls are not targets.

[narcissa-draconia]

Tell The teachers gonk to jump in the lake rofl