Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

So yeah. What aren't YOU allowed to do at Hogwarts?

Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house.	6.8%	[ 140 ]
Telling everyone that the condition of Professor Snape's hair has something to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."	5.3%	[ 109 ]
I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"	16.8%	[ 343 ]
Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane' and I should stop asking if I can be his ho.	12.3%	[ 252 ]
Selling Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.	13.5%	[ 276 ]
Under no circumstances am I to attempt to create a Holy Hand Grenade.	7.6%	[ 156 ]
I will not Polyjuice myself and a friend to look like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, then give each other passionate kisses in public.	9.2%	[ 189 ]
Replying every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you ******** Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.	14.9%	[ 305 ]
Draco Malfoy's name is not Westley, nor the Dread Pirate Roberts, and I should stop referring to him as such.	6.7%	[ 137 ]
I mustn't do bad things while polyjuiced to incriminate someone isn't right (Especially going as Harry, Draco, or Ron to hit on one of the other two).	6.7%	[ 137 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2044 ]

[Rivalevi-heichou]

1. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom of the Opera.
2. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.
3. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong. Funny, but wrong.
4. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.
5. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones".

[pottergleek]

1) I will not steal first years' wands and use them as drumsticks in Rock Band.
2) I will gift Harry's Firebolt to a house elf and tell him to sweep the Great Hall with it.
3) I will not tell Snape that Dumbledore sees him when he looks into the Mirror of Erised.
4) I will not jinx Snape into growing wings to complement his beaky nose.
5) I will not sell troll boogers to the apothecary as "raw unicorn blood".

[pottergleek]

6) I will not use a Permanent Sticking Charm on the food and plates in the Great Hall.
7) I will not change the Slytherin password to the chorus of "Single Ladies."
cool I will not replace the badger on the Hufflepuff banner with a picture of Jigglypuff.
9) I will not spike the punch at the Yule Ball with Amortensia.
10) I will not spike the punch at the Yule Ball with Veritaserum.
11) I will not spike the punch at the Yule Ball with Polyjuice Potion turning everyone into Voldemort.
12) I will not spike the punch, period.
13) I will not dare anyone to climb the Whomping Willow without pressing the knot.
14) I will not drink Polyjuice potion to turn myself into a Weasley triplet.
15) I will not sell miniature Mirrors of Erised to lovesick first years.

[shauna_marie]

DarkJoker99

1. If I am in Gryffindor, do not loose a Quidditch match to Slyterin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff.
2. Absolutley NO Parties: Unless Umbridge is invited.
3. Don't hit Harry Potter, even if he is one of those Douchebags with a guitar.
4. I am not allowed to wear diapers: Unless I am known as a respectable wizard.
5. I am not allowed to miss a text from Umbridge. UH DUR DUR DUR DUR DUR!
6. Never decline a Red Vine.
7. Never turn Ron into a Portkey.
8. I will not question the Scarf of Sexuality; Even if it tells me I'm gayer than the Fourth of July.

(Somebody probably posted these kinds before but frankly, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! <3)

Darling, it's the Scarf of Sexual Preference....

I will not go around jinxing everyone with my Red Vines.

I will not question Umbridge on why she's Team Jacob, but she hates Lupin.

I will not tell the Gryffindor Quidditch team that it is a ritual to eat raw, freshly killed deer before a match for good luck.

I will not make fun of Draco for being afraid of the Potty.

[DarkJoker99]

shauna_marie

Darling, it's the Scarf of Sexual Preference....

Who cares?

[Lady Asheyeri]

Midnightxlover28

I will not ask Voldemort where his nose went.

OMG!

[mjatwalsh]

~. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.
~. -Especially if it's not true.
~ -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.
~. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details
~. A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.
~ -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.
~. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.
~. Voldemort is not my homeboy.
~. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in
any of them.
~ Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.

[Hanhula]

I will not insist that I'm a transfer student from Pigfarts.
I will not say that I rode on Rumbleroar.
I will not ask Professor Mcgonagall if she has a crush on Rumbleroar.
Or Dumbledore.
Or Snape.
Or Bellatrix.
Or anyone else.
I will not attempt to steal Harry Potter's underwear.
Or sell said underwear to Colin Creevy.
I will not plant drugs in the greenhouses.
I will not feed drugs to the house elves.
I will not spike the food with drugs.
I will not insist that Dementors are Ringwraiths.
I will not confuse the Sorting Hat into thinking that it must write raps, not songs.
I will not make fun of Sirius Black's name.
I will not attempt to eat a house elf.
I will not attempt to eat a centaur.
I will not make fun of Voldemort for being bald and having no nose.
I will not under any circumstances use Polyjuice Potion
Especially not to appear as Voldemort.
...naked.

(wrote these myself ^_^)

[Luoshan]

I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

[The_Lady_Delirium_]

I won't sneak into the kitchens and play pranks on the elves

[jempurpled]

-I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse in the Womping Willow.

-I will not get the Sorting Hat drunk before the Sorting Ceremony.

-I will not steal the Gryffindor Sword and use it as a letter opener.

-I will not bring a Magic-8 ball to Divination class.

-I will not use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the guy's dorm or Perfect bathroom.

-I will not tell the first years on the Hogwarts Express that they have free choice of house if they swim over the lake.

[angelcutie92]

I will not stand up in the Great Hall and yell "Ron Did it!" when something breaks.
I will not dye my hair red/ginger and call myself a Weasley.
Bringing fireworks and using them at the end of year exams is prohibited.
I will not create and use a Delores Doll and shove it in Umbridge's face saying "I really hate children. I will have order" Repeatedly.

[this rainbow lover]

I will not dye my hair ginger, put green contacts in and ask Snape how I look.
I will not use the invisibility cloak to make people think they are crazy.
The use of a giggling hex on another student during OWLS is prohibited.

[Feline Ferra]

I should not death curse my teacher.

[The_Lady_Delirium_]

I will not transfigure and charm a statue into a monster and make it attack first years