The Harry Potter Anti-Guide

[LionRW86]

or.... when all the male characters suddenly turn into bodybuilders and hook up with the geekiest girls in school that were never even mention in the Novel



yeahhh.... ALL MARY SUES MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! twisted

[Listo]

Quote:

In any good Draco/Hermione fic Lavender gives Hermione a make over. she gets boobs, beautiful hair, and slutty muggle clothes, right before 7th year. then her and Draco are Head boy and girl and share a common room and dorm. She completely ditches Ron and Harry and falls madly in love with Draco who thinks she's so HAWT!

1. And because she is HAWT with a capital 'H', Draco will immediately forget all his prejudices and be gung-ho for dating her!

Personality?

When you have a dormitory that only you and your HAWT significant other can access?

Screw knowing their personality!

Quote:

Sirius is ALWAYS vain, conceited, a player, and dumb. I mean, anyone could have been an Animagus at the age of 15. oh, and completely gorgeous.

2. Not to mention he's also the most random person in the world!

Oh yeah...and food is pretty much his life.

Food and girls.

3. Should you be writing a fanfiction where Lily and James were once childhood best friends, follow these simple rules:

Rule no. 1: Always start on the day that Lily or James's family is moving away.

This will make your reader choke up, and feel sorry for the one not moving.

Rule no. 2: James or Lily must promise not to forget the other, say that they'll miss the other...oh...and giving the other a little something to remember them by...preferably a locket...wouldn't bruise.

Rule no. 3: When you skip to Hogwarts, make sure you make it very clear that James or Lily has, indeed, forgotten the other.

[Lynn A Creevey]

[[When writing a good Ginny/Neville fanfic, FORGET that Neville just took Ginny to the ball so she could go. Go on. FORGET IT.

Remember, Ginny needs to be curvy and vivacious by AT LEAST 14.

Neville doesn't have bigass teeth, silly!

And Harry better be snogging Draco by chapter three so he's not all jelouz, lol.

Because jealousy is NOT AN EMOTION YOU GUYS NEED.
Ever.
Even if it's justifiable. ]]

[Listo]

((It's Hermione who used to have large teeth...not Neville...))

[Spica Lupin-Black]

((Actually, they both did. In the movie, the actor for Neville has to wear fake teeth to make his twisted and bigger. :3 *watched the special features* ))

[StargemKitty]

Listo

((It's Hermione who used to have large teeth...not Neville...))

And Neville looks like he has big teeth.
Allllssssooo.

The fic can be as terrible, completely disgusting and hisdious, and even has Dumbledore featured in a bikini, but that doesn't matter as long as your OTP is the main pairing that falls in love and saves the world.

(I love these easy, crappy is good! comments. xD)

[Listo]

((Just because you think Neville's actor looks like he has big teeth doesn't mean his character does. xd ))

[StargemKitty]

Listo

((Just because you think Neville's actor looks like he has big teeth doesn't mean his character does. xd ))

Well--shuffles around and huffs-- I say he does!

[WhiteLace]

I always thought he did, but I don't watch the movies. o_o I guess it was just how I envisioned Neville.

If you can't think of any feasible way for your OTP to get together, it's okay. Just give them some firewhiskey, even if they're fifteen and would never be the sort to drink underage.

[Listo]

Conveniently forget to mention where they managed to obtain said firewhiskey...

[Xiraes]

MademoiselleLunaLovegood

Your other option for a Marauder era fanfic is:
Harry somehow travels back in time to the Marauder era were he meets James, Sirius, Lupin, Lily, etc, and is immediatly popular. No one knows who he is, but everybody loves him because he's sweet and caring and HOT. Then he falls in love with Lily, and fights James and Snape for her. Oh, and since the GENIUS screenwriters of the third movie made it seem like Lupin's in love with her too, he needs to join in. Of course, Harry has to get her in the end.

And no one says: "Hey, how come that new kid looks exactly like James? But also kinda like Lily?" And Harry isn't at all freaked out by the fact that James and Lily are his parents, or that he knows half the character's future selves. No, that's not disconcerting at all.

[WhiteLace]

He's also not concerned with changing history and, thus, making himself not exist. Or any of those other crazy problems that could happen. Time paradox. D:

[All My Nowhere Plans]

WhiteLace

He's also not concerned with changing history and, thus, making himself not exist. Or any of those other crazy problems that could happen. Time paradox. D:

(ha the funny thing is i'm going to write a go back in time sotry, and im using this to know what not to do and how to make it make sense. xd )

Snape must pointlessly hex James and James must avoid confrontation in a true show of valor because James is just that cool.

Every first chapter of a L/J story must contain Lily thinking "Maybe he has changed." Without this your story is GARBAGE!

[Listo]

Your story is also garbage if Lily, in the first chapter, does not express her horror/disappointment at James being Head Boy.

+1 if she does this publically.

+2 if she wishes that it were Remus instead.

[All My Nowhere Plans]

Listo

Your story is also garbage if Lily, in the first chapter, does not express her horror/disappointment at James being Head Boy.

+1 if she does this publically.

+2 if she wishes that it were Remus instead.

Yes, she always thinks it will be Remus, because no one else could possibly be head boy but Remus, because the other people in the other houses don't matter, except for Snape.