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Fwee! Here goes, but first... Warning! Reading further down may or may not cause IQ drop, severe lack of air, and mad laughter (at least at the beginning) This is a one-shot ^^
The Origins
This is the tale of how witches came to the World. Our story is set back to thousands of millions of years before today, the day in which I finally reveal the story of how witches came to be. This story can be traced back to the day the Big bang finally created the world.
-"Phew, that was one good Karate training session, don't you think, Lucifer?" God said as he and Lucifer contemplated what had surged from a particularly painful experience. Both had tried to hit the other with a super karate chop, and of course, the collision caused such a big explosion that stars were dragged together and forced to create what we now know as planet Earth.
-"Sure was. Now we only need to figure out what to do with this… round thing… what to call it?"
-"How about… Earth?" God suggested."
-"Earth, you say? That's pathetic! I like it."
-"Very well, Earth it is then. But now I'm bored."
-"Too true, being the only ones in the entire black void we live in-"
-"You mean the Universe"
-"Yeah, the Universe, well it gets kinda old after a while, don't you think?"
-"You consider a thousand million years a while?"
-"Yeah, I do, any problem?"
-"No, just aski- Holy crud!"
-"What the- did you just swear?"
-"Noo… I didnt" God shifted his eyes and started whistling innocently.
-"Why did you curse?" Lucifer started frantically looking around for the cause of God's first and only swear ever to be known to the Universe… at least as far as Lucifer was concerned.
-"Nothing…"
-"Come on! I know that's not true… I can see through you, remember?"
-"Yeah right, and I'm G- hey wait, I AM God!" Lucifer chuckled.
-"And now you notice. I knew you were slow, but I never thought it would be THIS much. Took you a thousand million years to finally realize."
-"Oh, shut up! Anyway, look over there, down by the… blue and liquid thing"
-"Let's call it water. Holy mother of God!"
-"Hey, we've discussed this topic, so stop that!"
-"Oh yeah, sorry. Holy Supernova! Is that a person?"
-"I think it is…"
-"Let's play with it! Might take the boredom away"
-"Lucifer, you know we shouldn't!"
-"And since when do I do what I should?"
-"Good point. Hey! Don't do that!"
For now Lucifer was poking the tiny person with his magical index finger, the one from his left hand.
-"OI YOU! Stop poking me!" the person said. Lucifer got so startled that it could talk that he drew his hand back immediately.
-"I never thought you could talk too. Look God, he's our creation! Awww… we're daddies"
-"What are you talking about?! It was MY Karate chop that created him!"
-"Yeah right, and Michael Jackson will be white when he grows up" Lucifer retorted.
-"Who's Michael Jackson?"
-"I dunno, must be someone from this planet's future." Lucifer proceeded to turn the person upside down and inspect it.
-"Well God, I admit he DOES look like your kind of work. But I helped"
-"No way! you didn't! I'm more powerful than you! You couldn't have created him!"
-"Oh yeah?"
-"YEAH!"
-"Well, we'll se about that! YOU'll see about that! I shall create something that will corrupt your person to such an extent you'll wish you'd never said that!!!" And with that, Lucifer vanished in a puff of red noxious smoke.
-"Moron" God muttered after him.
Back in his very secret lair, the inside of an asteroid of colossal proportions that went by the name of D'evil, just because Lucifer had named it like that, Lucifer was sitting at his workbench, scratching his head and thinking.
-"Stupid God… he'll see, I'll teach him. But how…?"
Back at planet Earth, God held a conversation with his newly created person, and found out that he went by the name of Bob.
-"Seriously though God, I need someone to be my companion, I'll get lonely here."
-"I get your point… kinda… anyway, here you are." God waved his magical index finger, the one on his right hand, and a dog appeared at Bob's side. Bob smacked his forehead and sighed. That would be one long day.
-"MWAHAHAHAAH! I GOT IT!" Lucifer yelled in triumph. He had created… a woman. But not any woman. A woman so beautiful that men on Earth would do ANYTHING to get her. And she had his personality: evil to the core. Her name was… Morgana.
-"Ahh… welcome to the Universe, Morgana" Lucifer greeted her.
-"And you are…?"
-"Lucifer, your creator."
-"Ah I see. So you do magic?"
-"Sort of, I have powers…. And so will you… if you do something for me first."
-"And what is that what you want me to do for you? And anyway, surely you can do it yourself?" Lucifer shook his head.
-"No I cant. This is a job for a woman, a job for you." And so Lucifer told Morgana about how the Earth had come to be, and how a man had appeared on Earth and how God had claimed he had created him. Morgana listened.
-"Get to the point already! I'm getting bored" She said after a while.
-"Okay okay. SO there's this plant on Earth. For some reason, God is very protective of it. You see, I think that's God's favourite plant, and as it's unique, he doesn't want it to be ripped off the ground." Morgana was starting to understand, and an evil grin was starting to form on her face.
-"So you want me to damage the plant?"
-"No, I want you to get the man on Earth to rip that flower off the ground for you."
-"Easy enough" They both cackled evilly for a while.
-"God, I'm bored!" Bob said after walking the entire length of the planet, having found nothing of interest.
-"Look Bob, you can do whatever you like on this planet, Earth. Anything but touch that one flower you see over there."
-"Okay" And so Bob went to see what he could do. Just as he was about to get into a pond to swim, he saw something that completely caught his attention- a woman.
-"Hello there beautiful, I'm Morgana. I assume you are Bob? Lucifer told me everything about you"
-"Lucifer? Oh, yeah…" he smiled sheepishly.
-"May you grant me a hug?" Bob was being strangely straitforward, which made things MUCH easier for Morgana.
-"Well, I don't know… first I want to know more about you."
Morgana finally spotted the flower Lucifer had told her about.
-"Oh, what a gorgeous flower!" She said.
-"Would you bring it over to me? Please?"
-"I… uhhh… cant. God said it's forbidden."
-"Well then, no hug for you!"
-"No, wait! Here!" Bob ripped the flower from the ground.
The Earth shook and both God and Lucifer appeared. Lucifer looked triumphant, God looked livid.
-"Did I not tell you that flower was forbidden?" God said to Bob, in a very deep, grave and scary voice. Meanwhile, Morgana left the scene to get to Lucifer. Lucifer waved his left index finger, the magical one, and Morgana had powers at last. With one minor drawback: she'd need a wand to do magic.
God punished Bob with marriage and Morgana finally got what she wanted, her powers that is. The world kept growing and MOrgana had children, who were witches and wizards just like her. The world and the people on it procreated and established in colonies, evolving little by little, until they reached what it is today, with witches and wizards living all around us without normal people's knowledge of their existence.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how witches and wizards came to be. And everything because God screwed up and got a nemesis because of a man. This nemesis was Lucifer, and his creation, witches.
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