thanksgivings in my family are crazy by default
my step-grandmother's brother always shows up and he's a born again alcoholic and a tug-boat salesman
he's also an alabama fan, the rest of us are auburn fans, so you can only guess how much yelling is going on while we're trying to enjoy disgusting turkey and salty ham
aside from that useless tidbit, he insists on saying grace
the only problem is, and i kid you not, the man sounds exactly like boomhauer from king of the hill, and we can't understand anything he says
his wife is jewish, and after he says grace, she'll bless the bread in hebrew
it's a very eccentric dinner
then there's rose lee, who is related to us by marriage (because aside from me who is only half, we're all full native). she's probably barely 5'2, is pushing 90, and drinks nothing but spiked coffee.
she likes to pinch people's butts and say snarky things in her cute irish accent
and then there's daniella. my uncle's peruvian, pagan-practicing and drop dead gorgeous girlfriend.
last thanksgiving, out of the blue, while everyone was silently stuffing their faces, she unexpectedly went on this long rant about how the pope was a nazi
it was very passionate and interesting and a fantastic way to break the ice if i do say so myself
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