Message: Dear _Matasoga__
We are sorry to inform you that you pet waffle has died of a mild head cold brought on by some experimental blue ice cream flavors. We hope you are completely confused by now and suggest that you do not try to remember what happened because our mind reprogramming team should have already finished reprogramming. Please accept this untested antidote to the mild head cold you should be experiencing in a few seconds. I am required to thank you for your years of voluntary experimentation and that your retirement check will be coming in the mail each month with the balance of __5$__ to inadequately pay for future medical bills and waffle replacements. Don't mind the cameras in your house they are there for your own safety.
This was most entertaining. Thanks, Mr. Bronze. This explains everything.
You got: Yellow Rose Wristlet Corsage
Thanks again, Mr. Bronze.