American GDers

[oh sadie]

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

For sure; the situation you described is exactly what happened to most of my friends that grew up poor as hell. I did too-- but I was lucky enough to get a lot of funding to go to college.
But I hear about people I used to hang out with getting sucked into a life of poverty, crime, drugs, bad living situations. Poverty is a b***h-- it really is.
I want you to know that I totally empathize with your situation and I wish you the best in this. Canada is remarkably good at taking care of its citizens-- so definitely be thankful for that. Your life might seem kinda messy right now-- but you need to focus on your desires here rather than your fears. Focusing on your fears will--ultimately--only serve to make them manifest for you, only they'll no longer be "fears" at that point.
Whenever I start feeling so anxious I think I'm going to vomit, I just tell myself to sit the ******** down, go walk three or four kilometers, and I remind myself to keep myself focused on my goals.

Otherwise, I never would have made it through college, and I'd be one of those dirty street kids sucking d**k for heroin.

...and they wouldn't be e-dicks this time.

I've seen alot of that growing up (I didn't have the best childhood)
While it's not as much here, poverty does exist here and so do addicts and homeless people and the mafia
I've seen it all so right now, I'm not to phased by whats going on
Im just handling it the best I can and I have really great friends who put me up whenever I need a place to stay

but I need my own place for stability

I'm also from a very broken home and I definitely hear you.
Most of my time as a child was spent feeling like I was a parent with a dysfunctional daughter (my own mom). I lived through so much tragic s**t growing up that there's no real sense in even talking about it when people ask-- because most people can't level with it. So I do hear you.
It's hard being 16 or 17 years old and feeling like you're thirty; it's hard realizing you never really had a childhood. And though people like us often do turn out to be very resilient people, it's easy to neglect ourselves at times. I spent years of my life hating myself and not even really knowing it until it began to rip apart every one of my relationships.
So-- please, no matter how strong you feel--do take care of yourself through this. Get the paperwork done, get yourself into your own house, and live your own life. Seriously, I wish you the best in this.

thanks mate, I am the type of person who always thinks
s**t there are people out there who have seen way worse in their lives
so I never think I have it too bad and I take care of other people alot
so last week my friend shannon got pissed and just yelled at me
she was like 'your too nice, you take everyones s**t and deal with it and barely pay attention to you and what you need" blah blah blah ahaha

That's kind of what I'm talking about.
I see myself in your reluctance to pay yourself the attention you need. I've spent most of my life being a hero; right now, for example, I'm sitting here worried about your situation and I don't even know you. Meanwhile my own life is filled with conflict, and it's all because I've been ridiculously depressed for years and haven't even realized just how down I always feel. Late nights, alone while my girlfriend sleeps in the other room; want to tell her I love her, want to tell her she means everything to me, want to tell her she's beautiful; but I push her away, sit alone with my thoughts not even realizing it. Now she "wants space" and I'm an absolute wreck-- all because I've been so out of touch with myself for so long. I worry about others, never about myself; but I have a lot of s**t to work through. I was so busy, so stoic, so "robust" that--in my own arrogance--I never thought my own life has left me such an emotional shell of a person.
I grew up taking care of my drunken mother; that's how it was, it's how it's always been-- maybe since I was about five years old?
Dump out the last beer, carry her off to bed, tuck her in, read her a story, pet her hair-- tell her I love her--wishing I had the strength to just choke the life out of her.
s**t really messed me up-- but I never really realized it.

So give yourself attention. There are a lot of people out there who have it way worse off than you-- of course there are. But pain is relative; we all experience it the same, regardless as to how severe the situation causing the pain might have been-- one man's rape is another's break up.
And we all need time to heal. So keep your head up, get yourself a little place of your own, and don't be afraid to let yourself hurt if you need to. Cuz... pretending that it didn't hurt didn't do much for me. lol
And I only wish I had the wisdom and humility to admit it earlier.

dont worry about me, Ill be fine
things really aren't bad for me, it seems like you've had a terrible upbringing sorry for that
if you ever want to talk
I think there is alot I could relate to just inbox me whenever

[igashijin]

oh sadie

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

For sure; the situation you described is exactly what happened to most of my friends that grew up poor as hell. I did too-- but I was lucky enough to get a lot of funding to go to college.
But I hear about people I used to hang out with getting sucked into a life of poverty, crime, drugs, bad living situations. Poverty is a b***h-- it really is.
I want you to know that I totally empathize with your situation and I wish you the best in this. Canada is remarkably good at taking care of its citizens-- so definitely be thankful for that. Your life might seem kinda messy right now-- but you need to focus on your desires here rather than your fears. Focusing on your fears will--ultimately--only serve to make them manifest for you, only they'll no longer be "fears" at that point.
Whenever I start feeling so anxious I think I'm going to vomit, I just tell myself to sit the ******** down, go walk three or four kilometers, and I remind myself to keep myself focused on my goals.

Otherwise, I never would have made it through college, and I'd be one of those dirty street kids sucking d**k for heroin.

...and they wouldn't be e-dicks this time.

I've seen alot of that growing up (I didn't have the best childhood)
While it's not as much here, poverty does exist here and so do addicts and homeless people and the mafia
I've seen it all so right now, I'm not to phased by whats going on
Im just handling it the best I can and I have really great friends who put me up whenever I need a place to stay

but I need my own place for stability

I'm also from a very broken home and I definitely hear you.
Most of my time as a child was spent feeling like I was a parent with a dysfunctional daughter (my own mom). I lived through so much tragic s**t growing up that there's no real sense in even talking about it when people ask-- because most people can't level with it. So I do hear you.
It's hard being 16 or 17 years old and feeling like you're thirty; it's hard realizing you never really had a childhood. And though people like us often do turn out to be very resilient people, it's easy to neglect ourselves at times. I spent years of my life hating myself and not even really knowing it until it began to rip apart every one of my relationships.
So-- please, no matter how strong you feel--do take care of yourself through this. Get the paperwork done, get yourself into your own house, and live your own life. Seriously, I wish you the best in this.

thanks mate, I am the type of person who always thinks
s**t there are people out there who have seen way worse in their lives
so I never think I have it too bad and I take care of other people alot
so last week my friend shannon got pissed and just yelled at me
she was like 'your too nice, you take everyones s**t and deal with it and barely pay attention to you and what you need" blah blah blah ahaha

That's kind of what I'm talking about.
I see myself in your reluctance to pay yourself the attention you need. I've spent most of my life being a hero; right now, for example, I'm sitting here worried about your situation and I don't even know you. Meanwhile my own life is filled with conflict, and it's all because I've been ridiculously depressed for years and haven't even realized just how down I always feel. Late nights, alone while my girlfriend sleeps in the other room; want to tell her I love her, want to tell her she means everything to me, want to tell her she's beautiful; but I push her away, sit alone with my thoughts not even realizing it. Now she "wants space" and I'm an absolute wreck-- all because I've been so out of touch with myself for so long. I worry about others, never about myself; but I have a lot of s**t to work through. I was so busy, so stoic, so "robust" that--in my own arrogance--I never thought my own life has left me such an emotional shell of a person.
I grew up taking care of my drunken mother; that's how it was, it's how it's always been-- maybe since I was about five years old?
Dump out the last beer, carry her off to bed, tuck her in, read her a story, pet her hair-- tell her I love her--wishing I had the strength to just choke the life out of her.
s**t really messed me up-- but I never really realized it.

So give yourself attention. There are a lot of people out there who have it way worse off than you-- of course there are. But pain is relative; we all experience it the same, regardless as to how severe the situation causing the pain might have been-- one man's rape is another's break up.
And we all need time to heal. So keep your head up, get yourself a little place of your own, and don't be afraid to let yourself hurt if you need to. Cuz... pretending that it didn't hurt didn't do much for me. lol
And I only wish I had the wisdom and humility to admit it earlier.

dont worry about me, Ill be fine
things really aren't bad for me, it seems like you've had a terrible upbringing sorry for that
if you ever want to talk
I think there is alot I could relate to just inbox me whenever

Thanks for the invite.
*shrugs* I'm not past a lot of my own issues-- but I'm working it out now, at least. And I don't smoke crack ftw.lol
Same goes for you-- if you ever need to bleed out some personal garbage-- I'm always willing to write back.
Take it easy out there.

[Gentle Lullaby]

Ive never heard of that =o
i have heard o flike medical welfare idk

[oh sadie]

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

oh sadie

igashijin

I'm also from a very broken home and I definitely hear you.
Most of my time as a child was spent feeling like I was a parent with a dysfunctional daughter (my own mom). I lived through so much tragic s**t growing up that there's no real sense in even talking about it when people ask-- because most people can't level with it. So I do hear you.
It's hard being 16 or 17 years old and feeling like you're thirty; it's hard realizing you never really had a childhood. And though people like us often do turn out to be very resilient people, it's easy to neglect ourselves at times. I spent years of my life hating myself and not even really knowing it until it began to rip apart every one of my relationships.
So-- please, no matter how strong you feel--do take care of yourself through this. Get the paperwork done, get yourself into your own house, and live your own life. Seriously, I wish you the best in this.

thanks mate, I am the type of person who always thinks
s**t there are people out there who have seen way worse in their lives
so I never think I have it too bad and I take care of other people alot
so last week my friend shannon got pissed and just yelled at me
she was like 'your too nice, you take everyones s**t and deal with it and barely pay attention to you and what you need" blah blah blah ahaha

That's kind of what I'm talking about.
I see myself in your reluctance to pay yourself the attention you need. I've spent most of my life being a hero; right now, for example, I'm sitting here worried about your situation and I don't even know you. Meanwhile my own life is filled with conflict, and it's all because I've been ridiculously depressed for years and haven't even realized just how down I always feel. Late nights, alone while my girlfriend sleeps in the other room; want to tell her I love her, want to tell her she means everything to me, want to tell her she's beautiful; but I push her away, sit alone with my thoughts not even realizing it. Now she "wants space" and I'm an absolute wreck-- all because I've been so out of touch with myself for so long. I worry about others, never about myself; but I have a lot of s**t to work through. I was so busy, so stoic, so "robust" that--in my own arrogance--I never thought my own life has left me such an emotional shell of a person.
I grew up taking care of my drunken mother; that's how it was, it's how it's always been-- maybe since I was about five years old?
Dump out the last beer, carry her off to bed, tuck her in, read her a story, pet her hair-- tell her I love her--wishing I had the strength to just choke the life out of her.
s**t really messed me up-- but I never really realized it.

So give yourself attention. There are a lot of people out there who have it way worse off than you-- of course there are. But pain is relative; we all experience it the same, regardless as to how severe the situation causing the pain might have been-- one man's rape is another's break up.
And we all need time to heal. So keep your head up, get yourself a little place of your own, and don't be afraid to let yourself hurt if you need to. Cuz... pretending that it didn't hurt didn't do much for me. lol
And I only wish I had the wisdom and humility to admit it earlier.

dont worry about me, Ill be fine
things really aren't bad for me, it seems like you've had a terrible upbringing sorry for that
if you ever want to talk
I think there is alot I could relate to just inbox me whenever

Thanks for the invite.
*shrugs* I'm not past a lot of my own issues-- but I'm working it out now, at least. And I don't smoke crack ftw.lol
Same goes for you-- if you ever need to bleed out some personal garbage-- I'm always willing to write back.
Take it easy out there.

yeah you too smile

[scareyhappy]

yobb

we can get student loans which gives us the opportunity to be in debt for the rest of our lives

You remind me of the white version of this guy named X that I know:.O