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It's great to hear all these from girls especially whee
Has anyone else had any other experiences in Japan? Adapting to life there such as school, work, culture wise |
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whee
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What specifically do you want to know? I realize I hijacked the thread earlier with girly talk, but I'll give you specific information if you ask.
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i know nothing. Roseflare My boyfriend knew my family from when we first met. He used to be my Japanese tutor, and then we started dating after I graduate from High school. That's about 3 years or so ago. And then we've been living together in Japan for 2. Fun stuff. Nothing like living with someone to decide to live with them for the rest of your life... or least that they won't drive you up the walls. xd Wait, so did you change your citizenship to Japanese? I thought the marriage papers required some random paper work from the US or something? I only read a little bit online, but haven't really bothered to do any deep reading on the matter as I still have another 2 years of university crud left. xp Also have you met his parents? Also does he speak English so he can communicate with your family? Sorry for all the questions. I just like doing this sort of "girl talk" with other foreigners married to Japanese husbands. You see more Japanese women with foreign men than you see foreign women with Japanese men. xp Oh, I agree with you. I like having girl talk like this. It's not really the same to talk to foreign men married to Japanese women because the relationship dynamics are different. I'm still a US citizen, but I had to get a new visa since my previous one for work was expiring. The document from the US embassy/ consulate necessary to marry in Japan is an affidavit affirming that you are single and eligible to marry. I can't recall how much it cost, but it wasn't very difficult to get. Present, sign in front of the registrar, get the stamp and you're good to go. smile Best to time your visit when the yen is strong versus the dollar, it'll be even cheaper then. I've met my parents-in-law--- they're really lovely people, always making sure that we are doing alright, sending presents, etc. His sister and brother are also really cool as well. My husband and his sister are able to speak English well, so they will be able to talk to my family; however, the rest of his family isn't able to speak English. I guess that means more practice with "interpretation" again when everyone meets. ^^; Exactly! I can't stand talking to foreign males with Japanese girlfriends. In some sense I think that may be easier to deal with... I mean this does go with stereotypes, but I don't think you can be a completely independent strong woman if you are dating a Japanese guy, unless that guy has a broader view of culture and has been somewhat westernized in a sense. My boyfriend is sort of like that (I call him white trash), but his thought process is Japanese overall, and sometimes the way he does things bothers me. then again it could be a Japanese male mentality. So I just need papers to show that I'm not married? that sounds simple... wait why was it so hard to get? I'm getting money from my parents at the moment, so I might just save extra money they are giving me... I feel bad using their money for it. I really want to get a part time job to pay for my own wedding stuff... Then again there is this whole confusion of who is paying for the wedding... In Japan the male or the male's family pays for the wedding, but in the US the females parents/father pays for it. Haha, yea my boyfriends parents spoil us... well more like spoil me. I mean, they send food and they come all the way down from Chiba to Tokyo to visit and eat with us. Also because of the time when my underwear was stolen, they gave me this Secom security thing to wear when I go out at night. xd How well do you get along with his mom? I always here the stereotypes of the mother in law whipping the daughter in law into shape, but my boyfriends mom and I are basically best friends. We go out to play tennis and then stay up late and drink. xp It's cool cuz she's kind of into 妖怪 as well, so we often exchange books and random comics and such. rofl |
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i know nothing. What specifically do you want to know? I realize I hijacked the thread earlier with girly talk, but I'll give you specific information if you ask. |
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*けほけほ* ...excuse me for butting in, but I am just too thrilled at finding some kindred spirits to resist...
I also just recently got married with a Japanese guy, and am having hella visa issues... except to further complicate things, we are currently living together in FRANCE. We both have jobs here as well, but we are STILL in the process of getting our immigration/visa paperwork all straight, which involves countless trips to our jobs' HR department, the French prefecture offices, lots of waiting, and lots of FRUSTRATION! I was thinking that if we moved to Japan, it might be a bit easier, but after hearing your story, it seems that might not be the case after all... and I doubt things would be much better in the US either (everyone's seen that movie Green Card hahahaha)! But ahhh, I couldn't live without my hubby, so I'm willing to endure all this stuff just to be together with him~! heart |
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Roseflare Exactly! I can't stand talking to foreign males with Japanese girlfriends. In some sense I think that may be easier to deal with... I mean this does go with stereotypes, but I don't think you can be a completely independent strong woman if you are dating a Japanese guy, unless that guy has a broader view of culture and has been somewhat westernized in a sense. My boyfriend is sort of like that (I call him white trash), but his thought process is Japanese overall, and sometimes the way he does things bothers me. then again it could be a Japanese male mentality. So I just need papers to show that I'm not married? that sounds simple... wait why was it so hard to get? I'm getting money from my parents at the moment, so I might just save extra money they are giving me... I feel bad using their money for it. I really want to get a part time job to pay for my own wedding stuff... Then again there is this whole confusion of who is paying for the wedding... In Japan the male or the male's family pays for the wedding, but in the US the females parents/father pays for it. Haha, yea my boyfriends parents spoil us... well more like spoil me. I mean, they send food and they come all the way down from Chiba to Tokyo to visit and eat with us. Also because of the time when my underwear was stolen, they gave me this Secom security thing to wear when I go out at night. xd How well do you get along with his mom? I always here the stereotypes of the mother in law whipping the daughter in law into shape, but my boyfriends mom and I are basically best friends. We go out to play tennis and then stay up late and drink. xp It's cool cuz she's kind of into 妖怪 as well, so we often exchange books and random comics and such. rofl Don't you get the feeling that some of the most socially inept men come to Japan just to find their Japanese wife? It kills me to see it happening, when you know that the guy is a complete jerk. Couples that love each other I have no beef with, it's the guys that come here with inflated egos with the intent of becoming a *legend* in Japan that make me want to punch them in their faces. At the other end of the spectrum, there are men who are being used as accessories by their Japanese girlfriends, and nasty situations like this one. But I digress. xd In a nutshell, getting married in Japan is a cakewalk. Getting the spouse/dependent of Japanese national visa can be difficult. Since you are well on your way to securing a steady job within the Japanese education system after your graduation, you shouldn't have as much trouble as I did. As long as you can show that you have the right number of hours to work, you can self-sponsor your visa (or ask your employer to sponsor you). My visa was ending two weeks after I planned to move to Tokyo, and despite my hardest efforts, I couldn't find a job willing to sponsor a new visa. Time was running out, so the only visa option left to me was the spouse/dependent visa. In the past, I've heard that this one wasn't as complicated to receive; however, due to the increasing number of falsified marriages for the sake of sex trafficking, the requirements for the visa have been increased. In addition to the legal documents you must submit proving your marriage, you must provide long, detailed accounts of your relationship, physical evidence that the two of you have dated (wedding photographs with both parties visible, pictures from dates, etc, love letters), and more. My husband was a sweetheart and filled out the confusing legal forms for me, and I hunted down all the emails that proved we actually met, hotel reservations and anything else I could get my hands on. Though, in the end, I think that the fact that I had spent time in Japan previously on valid visas helped the process. I didn't have a suspicious application, so I got a 3yr visa. I just have to go through the same process three years from now. blaugh Let's hope that I don't forget where I stashed everything by then! My relationship with my mom-in-law is pretty cool. She's only come to our apartment once, and I had prepared a nice meal for them all. The only thing that bothers me slightly is that she is such a quiet person, though I've gotten used to it. She's started to ask me for recipes for a few of the things I have made. (Kinda strange, because I don't consider myself much of a cook, but she seems to really have liked the chili I made!) I'll be meeting with her again tomorrow, in preparation for our trip to America. Off to Saitama I go! xd |
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PixieAlli *けほけほ* ...excuse me for butting in, but I am just too thrilled at finding some kindred spirits to resist... I also just recently got married with a Japanese guy, and am having hella visa issues... except to further complicate things, we are currently living together in FRANCE. We both have jobs here as well, but we are STILL in the process of getting our immigration/visa paperwork all straight, which involves countless trips to our jobs' HR department, the French prefecture offices, lots of waiting, and lots of FRUSTRATION! I was thinking that if we moved to Japan, it might be a bit easier, but after hearing your story, it seems that might not be the case after all... and I doubt things would be much better in the US either (everyone's seen that movie Green Card hahahaha)! But ahhh, I couldn't live without my hubby, so I'm willing to endure all this stuff just to be together with him~! heart If you were able to find work in Japan that sponsored your visa, you wouldn't be in the same position as I was! Don't lose hope, I'm sure that things will work out for you in the end. Though I remember exactly how much of a nightmare it was to get everything ready for the paperwork. There are days that you feel like a pingpong ball bouncing between government building and government building. It's really tiring. Oh, if anyone wants to know this is a overview of what is necessary to get a dependent/spousal visa in Japan: http://www.hpmix.com/home/toku/1/E6.htm I was lucky to get the 3year one. |
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i know nothing. Roseflare Exactly! I can't stand talking to foreign males with Japanese girlfriends. In some sense I think that may be easier to deal with... I mean this does go with stereotypes, but I don't think you can be a completely independent strong woman if you are dating a Japanese guy, unless that guy has a broader view of culture and has been somewhat westernized in a sense. My boyfriend is sort of like that (I call him white trash), but his thought process is Japanese overall, and sometimes the way he does things bothers me. then again it could be a Japanese male mentality. So I just need papers to show that I'm not married? that sounds simple... wait why was it so hard to get? I'm getting money from my parents at the moment, so I might just save extra money they are giving me... I feel bad using their money for it. I really want to get a part time job to pay for my own wedding stuff... Then again there is this whole confusion of who is paying for the wedding... In Japan the male or the male's family pays for the wedding, but in the US the females parents/father pays for it. Haha, yea my boyfriends parents spoil us... well more like spoil me. I mean, they send food and they come all the way down from Chiba to Tokyo to visit and eat with us. Also because of the time when my underwear was stolen, they gave me this Secom security thing to wear when I go out at night. xd How well do you get along with his mom? I always here the stereotypes of the mother in law whipping the daughter in law into shape, but my boyfriends mom and I are basically best friends. We go out to play tennis and then stay up late and drink. xp It's cool cuz she's kind of into 妖怪 as well, so we often exchange books and random comics and such. rofl Don't you get the feeling that some of the most socially inept men come to Japan just to find their Japanese wife? It kills me to see it happening, when you know that the guy is a complete jerk. Couples that love each other I have no beef with, it's the guys that come here with inflated egos with the intent of becoming a *legend* in Japan that make me want to punch them in their faces. At the other end of the spectrum, there are men who are being used as accessories by their Japanese girlfriends, and nasty situations like this one. But I digress. xd In a nutshell, getting married in Japan is a cakewalk. Getting the spouse/dependent of Japanese national visa can be difficult. Since you are well on your way to securing a steady job within the Japanese education system after your graduation, you shouldn't have as much trouble as I did. As long as you can show that you have the right number of hours to work, you can self-sponsor your visa (or ask your employer to sponsor you). My visa was ending two weeks after I planned to move to Tokyo, and despite my hardest efforts, I couldn't find a job willing to sponsor a new visa. Time was running out, so the only visa option left to me was the spouse/dependent visa. In the past, I've heard that this one wasn't as complicated to receive; however, due to the increasing number of falsified marriages for the sake of sex trafficking, the requirements for the visa have been increased. In addition to the legal documents you must submit proving your marriage, you must provide long, detailed accounts of your relationship, physical evidence that the two of you have dated (wedding photographs with both parties visible, pictures from dates, etc, love letters), and more. My husband was a sweetheart and filled out the confusing legal forms for me, and I hunted down all the emails that proved we actually met, hotel reservations and anything else I could get my hands on. Though, in the end, I think that the fact that I had spent time in Japan previously on valid visas helped the process. I didn't have a suspicious application, so I got a 3yr visa. I just have to go through the same process three years from now. blaugh Let's hope that I don't forget where I stashed everything by then! My relationship with my mom-in-law is pretty cool. She's only come to our apartment once, and I had prepared a nice meal for them all. The only thing that bothers me slightly is that she is such a quiet person, though I've gotten used to it. She's started to ask me for recipes for a few of the things I have made. (Kinda strange, because I don't consider myself much of a cook, but she seems to really have liked the chili I made!) I'll be meeting with her again tomorrow, in preparation for our trip to America. Off to Saitama I go! xd Oh man that poor man. My boyfriend actually complains whenever he sees Japanese women and a foreign male. He thinks that the girl is either taking the foreigner for a ride to get a green card in the US, or that she is too stupid and just falls for the western customs. One of my close girlfriends (who is also dating a Japanese guy) told me about a male friend of hers that came to Japan and just went around screwing Japanese girls... he actually got one of the girls pregnant and didn't care, so he just went back to his country. I seriously think a lot of the guys who come here are jerks. I admit a lot of the girls bug me too. A lot of the girls just want to come here to be singers, mangaka or idols. I mean seriously, wtf are they thinking. And then those internet fame girls bug the crap out of me. They don't know any Japanese and yet don't seem to try to learn... And there is a new one too... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWCJFk6tiTU&feature=featured ugh *****! She's only 14! gonk Let's just hope I can pass the 教員採用試験 gonk I mean I have like another year to study for it, but it scares the crap out of me... but not as much as the日本国憲法 class that I have to take in order to take the test for the certificate. gonk I wonder if it would be ok while I still have my student visa... We plan to do the paper work while I'm still a student, but to do the ceremony later on after I graduate because of money. But I can definitely image all the fake marriages, with the problems of illegal immigrants from certain countries here. As long as it's for love, I can understand. I mean my close girlfriend here is trying to look for a better job, one that she likes that is not teaching English, and she wants to do it on her own. She doesn't like the idea of just giving into getting a visa through marriage with her boyfriend. Even though they do plan to get married. Then again she is thinking that becoming a hostess is better than a teacher.... let's see how that goes. (I think/hope she was joking..) rofl Same with my boyfriend. He basically said if I can't get a job right away (which I want to work at a good school, not just apply to any) then we can do the marriage thing, but either way we are going to do the marriage paper work just because we want to get married after living with each for 3 years and dating 4. xd That's good that you have a good relationship. OMG CHILI!? I miss eating chili so much. I actually asked my mom to bring me some packets of the powdered seasoning to make some more. They are coming very soon. I'm just thankful I will be finally done with my finals when my parents come. xd Strange how my boyfriends mom seems to think that I can't really cook even though my boyfriend talks constantly about how my cooking is so delicious. It's usually just from cook books though, and then I randomly try to copy my bf's moms cooking. It's so nummy. She is like my second mom. heart |
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PixieAlli *けほけほ* ...excuse me for butting in, but I am just too thrilled at finding some kindred spirits to resist... I also just recently got married with a Japanese guy, and am having hella visa issues... except to further complicate things, we are currently living together in FRANCE. We both have jobs here as well, but we are STILL in the process of getting our immigration/visa paperwork all straight, which involves countless trips to our jobs' HR department, the French prefecture offices, lots of waiting, and lots of FRUSTRATION! I was thinking that if we moved to Japan, it might be a bit easier, but after hearing your story, it seems that might not be the case after all... and I doubt things would be much better in the US either (everyone's seen that movie Green Card hahahaha)! But ahhh, I couldn't live without my hubby, so I'm willing to endure all this stuff just to be together with him~! heart I think you should just live where ever you feel comfortable. So if you both like France, then let it be France. xd Your probably going to go through some sort of visa process where ever you go, that is the beauty of marrying a foreigner. xd What is this movie green card that you speak of? I've never heard of it... then again I don't hear about a lot of crap being a student who studies too much for her own good. xp good luck with your visas in france. |
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i know nothing. PixieAlli *けほけほ* ...excuse me for butting in, but I am just too thrilled at finding some kindred spirits to resist... I also just recently got married with a Japanese guy, and am having hella visa issues... except to further complicate things, we are currently living together in FRANCE. We both have jobs here as well, but we are STILL in the process of getting our immigration/visa paperwork all straight, which involves countless trips to our jobs' HR department, the French prefecture offices, lots of waiting, and lots of FRUSTRATION! I was thinking that if we moved to Japan, it might be a bit easier, but after hearing your story, it seems that might not be the case after all... and I doubt things would be much better in the US either (everyone's seen that movie Green Card hahahaha)! But ahhh, I couldn't live without my hubby, so I'm willing to endure all this stuff just to be together with him~! heart If you were able to find work in Japan that sponsored your visa, you wouldn't be in the same position as I was! Don't lose hope, I'm sure that things will work out for you in the end. Though I remember exactly how much of a nightmare it was to get everything ready for the paperwork. There are days that you feel like a pingpong ball bouncing between government building and government building. It's really tiring. Oh, if anyone wants to know this is a overview of what is necessary to get a dependent/spousal visa in Japan: http://www.hpmix.com/home/toku/1/E6.htm I was lucky to get the 3year one. Ok I think we really need to make a topic for Foreigners (females) married to Japanese guys and how the lifestyle and visa crap works. It seems there are more people like this on Gaia than we thought. xd |
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Roseflare i know nothing. If you were able to find work in Japan that sponsored your visa, you wouldn't be in the same position as I was! Don't lose hope, I'm sure that things will work out for you in the end. Though I remember exactly how much of a nightmare it was to get everything ready for the paperwork. There are days that you feel like a pingpong ball bouncing between government building and government building. It's really tiring. Oh, if anyone wants to know this is a overview of what is necessary to get a dependent/spousal visa in Japan: http://www.hpmix.com/home/toku/1/E6.htm I was lucky to get the 3year one. Ok I think we really need to make a topic for Foreigners (females) married to Japanese guys and how the lifestyle and visa crap works. It seems there are more people like this on Gaia than we thought. xd Noooo I won't let them have their thread back~~! Hehehehe j/k! But to reply to i know nothingさん, thanks for sending the link - I've bookmarked it so that I can start getting together all the documents and stuff that I need ahead of time! We'll be here in France for at least another 6 years, as that's the duration of my hubby's work contract, although it'll probably be renewed... but I'd really like to move over to Japan someday. Maybe it'll be after we have kids or something, and then the kids will keep me sufficiently busy that I won't have to find a job...? And in the mean-time, we still go visit his family over there fairly regularly (we'll be there for this coming 正月 in fact). They're totally crazy for French stuff over there in Japan - every time we go, our friends and family there have longggg-a** lists of French goodies that they want us to bring for them! But why is it so difficult to find a job over there? Your level of Japanese seems great, and you're living in (or near) a huge city with lots of potential employers right? Is it just the visa thing? That was definitely a huge problem here in Paris - no one wanted to sponsor me for a work visa until I finally lucked out and found the awesome job I have now... and now I see why, cuz it is such a ridiculous-painful process... But all that craziness aside, how do you like living in Japan (both of you)? In an attempt to get the thread somewhat back on topic, is there anything I should prepare myself for an eventual move over there? Of course I've visited several times, so I know already most of the major cultural differences, but the longest I've stayed at once was barely more than a month. And as I'm sure you know, visiting a place is quite different than living there!! For a good example, so many people would love to visit Paris, but living here is a quite different story hahahahaha! I had so much trouble with the simple little things, like figuring out that ALL THE STORES are closed here on Sundays. So if you don't do grocery shopping on Saturday, you're going hungry on Sunday. Are there little things like that which you discovered after moving over there? Sorry I'm so damn verbose... oki gotta get back to お留守番 ;D |
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Roseflare i know nothing. PixieAlli *けほけほ* ...excuse me for butting in, but I am just too thrilled at finding some kindred spirits to resist... I also just recently got married with a Japanese guy, and am having hella visa issues... except to further complicate things, we are currently living together in FRANCE. We both have jobs here as well, but we are STILL in the process of getting our immigration/visa paperwork all straight, which involves countless trips to our jobs' HR department, the French prefecture offices, lots of waiting, and lots of FRUSTRATION! I was thinking that if we moved to Japan, it might be a bit easier, but after hearing your story, it seems that might not be the case after all... and I doubt things would be much better in the US either (everyone's seen that movie Green Card hahahaha)! But ahhh, I couldn't live without my hubby, so I'm willing to endure all this stuff just to be together with him~! heart If you were able to find work in Japan that sponsored your visa, you wouldn't be in the same position as I was! Don't lose hope, I'm sure that things will work out for you in the end. Though I remember exactly how much of a nightmare it was to get everything ready for the paperwork. There are days that you feel like a pingpong ball bouncing between government building and government building. It's really tiring. Oh, if anyone wants to know this is a overview of what is necessary to get a dependent/spousal visa in Japan: http://www.hpmix.com/home/toku/1/E6.htm I was lucky to get the 3year one. Ok I think we really need to make a topic for Foreigners (females) married to Japanese guys and how the lifestyle and visa crap works. It seems there are more people like this on Gaia than we thought. xd Yeah, I didn't realize there were so many either. I kind of assumed that visas would be a problem, but the dependent/spousal one sounds far more complicated than I would have ever predicted! To (try to) go on topic though.... Yes, I have studied abroad in Japan. And, as my boyfriend is there, I will probably end up living there as well myself. And besides being able to be with my boyfriend, living in Japan gives me access to two things I really like: 1) public transportation and 2) Japanese food (which, beyond sushi is so hard to come by in this part of the US sad ) As for things I'm not looking forward to, I guess the biggest one would be something that has already been mentioned a bit by others here: feeling that I will never fully 'fit in' because I'm not Japanese. confused Oh why oh why must my boyfriend be so much the guy I love? whee |
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I lived there. I will return. It's "home"?
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I'm majoring in Japanese Culture and History - and I have to take 4-6 years [equivalence; I go through intensive to make this shorter] of the language, as well - so I imagine at least once I am going to study in Japan. Probably Ritsumeikan University, as my school is partnered with it. Would I like to live in Japan? I don't know. It's a nice enough place, certainly, and I enjoy the culture (I woudn't be majoring in it if I didn't), but I don't think it's somewhere I would like to live - at least not for the rest of my life.
I have been dating a Japanese citizen for a couple of years, and we've definitely considered marriage. Several years from now, mind, but we'd certainly get married. However, he doesn't really like living in Japan - he's not fully Japanese (3/4 Japanese; 1/4 German) and the lifestyle isn't really his thing. He doesn't mind it, and he has lots of family and friends out there, but he's partial to Switzerland and The Netherlands, which I must agree with. Of course, I'm an American with duel citizenship in England (and I live in Canada!)... so we'd be moving to a country that NEITHER of us are native to. XP And the Netherlands would probably suck as neither of us know much Dutch (although he picked up a fair bit of it, knowing German to begin with). |
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