What do you see in a person as a friend (on Gaia)?

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[Uncle PP Pennybags-Wright]

Hullo thar! Names Uncle PP Pennybags-Wright, nice to meet cha!

Most of you all don't know me, but I know some who some of you all, and I like to take this time out to get a better idea of what makes many of you all tick, especially on this here website we consider home we call Gaia. I decided I would like to make a thread every so often on certain topics that not only concern Gaia as a whole but you as a person and the world at large. This is something I've been wanting to do for awhile among other things, unfortunately doing this on the account I considered my main back some years ago, no one would have taken me seriously (and that's going to be a topic for another day)! Anyhow, beyond my own personal interest of the human condition, I am also doing to see what I can improve as a person and do more for others, but also help others do the same as well as long as working to improve our community on this site, cause if ya haven't noticed (I know some of you have bear with me now), it's not nearly as welcoming or friendly as it use to it, especially with many users coming on regularly with their doom and gloom of the end times of the site and all. Not one person is infallible, and a person should always want to refine on their skillsets and whatnot.

Anyway, during my tenure with using the internet way back in the Year 2000...and 2 and subsequently going through highschool, I have gone through a great deal of websites and met many different people online and off. Some good, some not so much, some cool, some stuck up. A portion of those people I considered a friend for awhile because of how they acted and what I thought of them, unfortunately when it came down to it some of those folks only did that for all intents purposes of wanting something or "to be nice" because I approached them, or my many of thought and all is different from theirs---I don't like putting up with a ton of nonsense, selfishness, superficial things, and vying for the attentions for the wrong reasons. This is why I as a person I don't always readily warm up to people even when I go "well this person doesn't seem to suck too badly or annoy me that much, I guess I should befriend them!' and why a good deal of the time I keep to myself. I do have those few friends who understand that's how I am, and they accept me because I don't act like how a lot of other people normally do....even if I go off into a cave somewhere for weeks or months on end to get away from people for awhile.



tl;dr: Using the internet too much and dealing with people regularly over the years has made me realize a lot of people tend to care about superficial things more than who a person is when they look for friends, and it buggers the piss out of me sometimes especially with how I am, though there are people who aren't like that.



Now on to the topic at hand, I want to ask: What do you see in a person as a friend? I want your answers to be in relation to not just your on goings on Gaia, but elsewhere online and in person. Do you treat people different than what you do on here when you are trying to make friends? Do you seek out common interests? Is it because of appearance? Elaborate on your experiences!

[Clear Rainx-]

I look for genuine, friendly, someone with personality.

Mostly someone I can be sarcastic with or make fun of without them being offended.

For example, if I can call you a b*****d T^T, then I know we can be good friends.

[stampededentist]

Common interests + tolerable attitude = we fray frays.

Common interests + tolerable attitude + unique personality = we I'll-buy-you-a-drink-and-might-let-you-win-one-round-of-whatever-video-game fray frays

Common interests + tolerable attitude + unique personality + good looking = HE'S NOT INTERESTED

simple as that.

[Uncle PP Pennybags-Wright]

Clear Rainx-

I look for genuine, friendly, someone with personality.

Mostly someone I can be sarcastic with or make fun of without them being offended.

For example, if I can call you a b*****d T^T, then I know we can be good friends.

Sounds similar to what I do with some of my friends, if I can shatter your perception of something by showing or telling you something that doesn't make sense or is a thing, then we can be friends. On another website I posted a picture of my tree topper that consisted of Spiderman riding a pony and tagged a few people in it. Much props and accolades were given that day, along with a lot of "I have no idea what's going on".

[bizu]

- Tolerable in multiple aspects
- Not pandering (Attention/Items)
- Intelligent/Able to hold a discussion
- Can handle criticism
- Not easily offended
- Similar interests.

I don't tolerate stupidity so I filter out a lot of gaians by habit. I'm mostly here to do/sell art, read up on items and dress up so finding people I can relate to and tolerate is hard. Even in other games I play, the friend-list I have is full of people I sell s**t to and 2-3 actual friends.

I'm not saying I'm a genius or super amazing, but I know my mind works differently than everyone else. I have that mix of left and right brain that makes it hard to speak without "retardifying" it because what I say and see feels like it'll always need imagery. I've had maybe two to three good friends who tolerate my short conversations and I'd rather do things with my friends and enjoy a moment than to talk.

Gaia has too much talking.

I appreciate my friends though, whenever the good ones come by. I just value quality too much.

[Bowie-Spawan]

I actually found myself grinning and nodding at some of what you wrote.
I need a lot of breaks from people pretty often. I'm not just sociophobic but also misanthropic to a point. Most people simply get too much for me pretty fast.
The people who know me well and have remained my friends over the years are those who don't push me and don't act as if I don't like them anymore when we don't happen to talk for a while. The ones who understand are still my friends and interactions will be exactly the same, no matter how long we haven't talked in the interim.

And that's the type of person I would call a 'true' friend. Basically, someone who will take you as you are, warts and all. I dislike superficiality. Sure, having interests in common is a huge plus since it provides topics to talk about, but I've found that it's much easier to remain close with people who share my temperament rather than many interests. People who are similar in personality will usually understand the way I tick and be lenient with my more eccentric characteristics lol.

I guess, when it comes to online acquaintances I'm much faster to call someone a 'friend'. The word covering a much broader spectrum of people you meet and people that I might even eventually drift away from again and lose contact with. I find it a lot easier to talk to people online than face to face, I can sort out my thoughts, hit backspace and rewrite sentences till they are to my liking. I get super nervous when talking with people irl and simply can't manage to be as eloquent as I want to be. It gets easier the better I know someone, but you gotta start somewhere, and that's the hard part for me.

/raaaaant *slinks away*

[Asuia]

I don't have any online friends here
because I haven't made an effort to make any friends.
So, I'm not sure what I'm looking for in an online friend.

I went into the Friends Chat once and I couldn't bring myself to post anything.
The people there seem to *snuggle* a lot so I felt a little awkward.

Not that I wouldn't ever e-cuddle...
I just think we should get to know eachother first.
(.____.)"

[Sweatpants Princess]

My friends are people who seem to appreciate me. Revolutionary.

Lately, I've been making friends on Gaia with people who get into extended lighthearted conversations with me in certain topic threads and tend to have a common goal or interest. It still feels like a rarity, and they seem to enjoy the friending that results.
People who give me things or draw me things usually get things in return, and sometimes one of those things is my undying gratitude the likes of which will follow you relentlessly until I pay back my emotional debt, and usually friendship is a compromise that works for everyone.

It's my first time having real Gaia friends, this year. Feels nice. whee

[Archon of Aegis]

A sense of maturity for the most part.
Do we have a similar set of values, or interests?
Even if we don't agree on something can we have an intelligent discussion without it being personal in any way?
Do they too have a love of swiss cake rolls?

I've been lucky enough to find some good people who fit that mold, and I'm grateful for them.

[Annoh]

I just consider someone a friend when i can have conversations with them more than one time, and they enjoy talking to me and i enjoy talking to them. They are not condescending and they do not pity me. Someone stops being a friend when they cut off all contact with me or treat me like a stranger.

58 of the people on my friendlist i do not consider a friend, and only 4 of them i do consider a friend.

[Mississippi Black Velvet]

I've never gone out of my way online or in real life to make friends, I'm social but I don't find it necessary for friendships. With that said when I do converse with people I tend to look for people who have things in common with myself from books to music and movies and even lifestyles similar to my own, ie people in their late twenties with children and a spouse.
Appearance isn't something I judge when I make a friend, I could care less what you look like I just care if you're able to hold up your end of the conversation we're having. Lol.

[Day7]

I'd say people I consider my friend are just people I get along with for most of the time lol
There are a few people with whom I would say my friendship is greater (Slick) but overall, if you're cool, and don't do stupid stuff and assume you're the best at whatever it is, everything works out pretty well, usually lol

[Lithium Filth]

To be purrfectly honest I look fur people that talk to me xD I don't really send friend requests anymore, it seems evfurrytime I do we stop talking. And that's sad!
I usually am on here when I'm bored/working on craft stuff so I like to have people to talk to so it gives me something extra to do :3 I try to not expect anything from people, beclaws you never know when they'll change/whatever.

[Ph33rNoM4n]

Online I'm cool with just about anyone who has anything meaningful to say. Common interests are definitely helpful since they give you something to talk about--they're often a launching point for conversation.

I guess my main filtering criteria is they can't be a ********? Come to think of it, that probably also goes for real life. But I can't say I put much effort into finding friends online. There's just too much to sift through.

[Chibi Halo]

For me my group of friends (that are not related to me in some way, shape, or form or people I went to school with) that I currently have over the interwebs started out because of one common thing, Gaia Guilds. I have two very distinct groups of friends that came about because of two guilds I'm in here on Gaia. One group has migrated off Gaia more and has become a joint Facebook Skype chat group while the other is still very much vested in Gaia. The guilds I'm in became the common thread that brought us together and from there we chat and get to know one another and find those little common elements that make us closer as friends. It ranges from the games we like, the movies we have in common, the TV shows we watch, to the books we love to read. We have different jobs and levels of education and are different ages but what we do have in common becomes a strong bond that even if one of us might leave Gaia we're still close enough that we can remain friends without that one common thread.

I'm still working on that level of friendship with my newer group because we still need the Gaian element to keep us chatting with each other. We've tried the off Gaia Skype stuff but it hasn't panned out like it has with my first group of Gaian friends. Still they're all a very good group of people to hang around with. And that's the thing. Common interests will pull you together but it's the ease of chatting that keeps you together.